Do You Feel Like Everybody Sucks? Here's a 10-Minute Pain Reliever.

0:04This is the 10 % Happier Podcast. I'm Dan Harris.

0:36I guess you could say unforgivably cheesy, but it really is now a crucial part of my practice. And not for nothing, there's a ton of science indicating that this practice really is good for you. So today you're going to hear me guide a loving kindness meditation. This comes from a live session that I did a few weeks ago for our paid subscribers over on Substack. We do these sessions every week now, every Tuesday at four Eastern. We do a short meditation, then chop it up, take your questions, etc. The next session is Tuesday, October 28th at 4 Eastern. As always, it will be featuring our Teacher of the Month, 7A Selassie.

1:15Paid subscribers also get companion meditations with all of our Monday-Wednesday episodes, which are designed to help you, as I like to say, pound the wisdom from our conversations directly into your neurons. One last thing to say before we get started here very quickly. If you want to meditate with me, IRL. I have a live taping of this podcast coming up on November 18th in New York City. My guest will be the very hilarious and very thoughtful slash soulful comedian, Pete Holmes. It's a benefit for the New York Insight Meditation Center. There's a link in the show notes if you want to come. All right, we'll meditate together right after this.

1:55Let's do 10 minutes of loving kindness meditation. What do you think? Not like you're the choice. So I don't know why I said, what do you think? Here we go. All right. So if you can assume the position, get comfortable. The first person who taught me loving kindness meditation was this amazing teacher who's now a friend, Spring Washam. And she was saying specifically for this meditation, it can be good to get on the floor. Hard to do if you're at an airport, but if you're at home, you can do it or sit in a chair, stand up if you want, whatever works for you. You can even do this while walking.

2:32But here we go. Let's start by bringing to mind a really easy person. I was just playing with one of our cats, Curtis, who I think was mostly flirting with me because he wanted a treat. But anyway, I'll take it. So I'm going to go with a cat, but you can go with a little kid, a really close friend. And see if you can just bring the image to mind.

2:58If you're not good at visualization, don't worry about that. you can just generate a felt sense in your body. Either way, as clear a sense of this person or animal as possible.

3:15Once you have the image or the felt sense as stable as you can muster, we're going to repeat four phrases. May be happy.

3:29May be safe.

3:35may you be healthy and strong in your body may you live with ease

3:48I like to alter the image to fit with the sentiment so I'll illustrate on this next one this one we're going to do ourselves.

4:08So you can picture yourself the last time you looked in the mirror, or if it's easier, a childhood photo of yourself, or just a sense of yourself sitting or lying down. That sense you've always had of being a self, just tune into that, as illusory as it is.

4:33May I be happy. So specifically in this one, I imagine myself engaged in what we call a family hug, me and my wife and son. That's what I mean by tweaking the image to fit the phrase, may I be happy.

4:54May I be safe and protected from any harm.

5:02same thing you can imagine yourself in a safe scenario

5:10may i be healthy and strong in this body

5:18really trying to connect the words to the image see if you can really let it land

5:29may I live with ease in the face of whatever comes up

5:39crucial point you may have heard me make before you don't have to feel any kind of way this is an exercise it's a practice sometimes the opposite of loving kindness emerges totally fine just keep going with the reps

5:58Next category of being is a mentor, benefactor.

6:07Be a family member, a teacher, a mentor at work. If you don't know anybody who fits the bill, a role model from public life or history, Abraham Lincoln, Don Deet, etc.,

6:26May you be happy.

6:33May you be safe.

6:41May you be healthy and strong.

6:49May you live with ease.

7:06next it's a neutral person somebody you see all the time but don't really have any strong feelings about I often say the barista dry cleaner

7:31This one can be hard to get a mental image of, but it's good. It's a good exercise. Really tuning up the mind. May you be happy.

7:49May you be safe.

7:59May you be healthy.

8:10May you live with ease.

8:25okay this is the trickiest one we're going to go to a difficult person

8:34if you've done this with me before you've heard me recommend that it might be best not to start with the artist person but if you want you can go there and Just remember sending, well, benevolence to a difficult person is not co-signing on their bad behavior. As I often say, people who are happy or safe tend not to behave badly.

9:02So when you have your person...

9:10One trick Joseph Goldstein often recommends is, and he says this as a non-theist, so this is not a religious recommendation, but to take the God perspective. In other words, to imagine that you're sending from the perspective of a benevolent POV looking down from a great height.

9:40May you be happy.

9:48May you be safe.

9:59May you be healthy and strong Getting healthy people Tend to behave well Truly healthy people May you live with ease

10:21okay now all beings everywhere you can imagine the planet floating in space or you can just feel it somatically in your body kind of this omni-directional

10:43feeling of sending out benevolence

10:49May we all be happy May we all be safe

11:14May we all be healthy and strong May all beings everywhere live with ease