How to Handle Discomfort, Uncertainty, and Overwhelm | Meditation with Kaira Jewel Lingo

0:04This is the 10 % Happier Podcast. I'm Dan Harris.

0:18Happy Sunday, everybody. Hope you're having a good weekend. We're bringing you a guided meditation today from Kaira Jewel Lingo, who's an amazing meditation teacher. Some context here. We're now creating guided meditations to go along with all of our Monday, Wednesday episodes. The idea is that we want to help you remember all the great stuff that you learn in these amazing conversations that we post. And meditation is a great way to sort of pound the wisdom into your neurons. These meditations are only available for paying subscribers over on danharris.com. But today we're giving you one for free.

0:54It's the classic drug dealer strategy. You You know, give a dose for free until we get you hooked. But we're, I think, a lot more helpful than your average drug dealer. Before we dive in, just a quick reminder that I'll be doing a live meditation retreat up at the Omega Institute north of New York City at the end of October. It runs from October 24th to 26th. This is a much more relaxed and enjoyable version. It's not a Zen death march or anything like that. We call it Meditation Party. My friends, Seben A. Selassie and Jeff Warren will be there also this year for the first time. Another friend of Fosu Jones-Corte.

1:28It's going to be great. You can sign up at eomega.org or I will put a link in the show notes. We'll get started with a guided meditation from Kyra Jewel Lingo right after this. I've been a fully adult human male for many decades, but I've never really focused on shorts as something you can wear and actually be stylish. I'm trying to up my shorts game, especially as my family and I have a big beach vacation coming up in the next couple of weeks. And one of my allies in this endeavor, my primary ally, is Quince. I was on the Quince website last night and I was picking out some awesome shorts, some linen shorts to wear at the beach so I can look good and stay cool.

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3:14Hey, it's Dan. I just want to tell you about something I'm really proud of. The new community we are building over on my new app, which is called 10 % with Dan Harris. Here's something I believe with no reservation. Taking care of your own mind is not selfish. It's actually essential if you want to show up for the world. if you want to deal with the various emergencies on the planet right now. There is, in fact, a geopolitical case for you to get your shit together. In other words, taking care of your own mind is good citizenship. I think about it like an upward spiral. You train your mind, that makes you happier and less reactive.

3:50Because you're steadier, that improves your relationships with everybody around you. And because relationships are crucial to human happiness, you get even happier, then your relationships get even better, and up you go. Our mission over at this new app is to guide you through this process with a growing library of meditations from world-class teachers like 7a Selassie and Joseph Goldstein and on and on. Also add free access to our full podcast archive, exclusive live stream events where we guide meditations and take your questions. We do those every week and much more. Head on over to danharris.com.

4:23You can try it for two weeks free. And if you cannot afford a subscription, we'll give you one, no questions asked. Most of us are conditioned to either push discomfort away or distract ourselves from it. Uncertainty, especially, can feel overwhelming or even threatening. But there's another way. Instead of resisting or reacting, we can learn to sit with what's difficult and allow it to simply be. with mindfulness we can bring tenderness and curiosity to our discomfort gently welcoming it rather than fighting it like a kind parent soothing a distressed child mindfulness helps us stay present and connected even when things feel unclear or unsettled let's explore this together

5:31find a comfortable position allowing the body to relax and open

5:42feel the solidity and support of the earth beneath you and let yourself rest into that grounding

5:54trust the earth to hold you

6:01gently connect with your breath

6:09let it be just as it is flowing in flowing out steady reliable effortless

6:26no need to change or manage it simply follow it

6:43let your attention move through the body noticing and releasing any areas of tension your jaw, shoulders, belly, hands at the same time notice any areas that feel spacious or simply neutral let those sensations support you

7:28Before we touch into what is difficult, it can be helpful to ground ourselves in a sense of connection. Bring to mind a place, person, or being, real or imagined, that helps you feel safe, supported, or at ease.

7:52let yourself feel what it's like to be in the presence of this refuge

8:03let these feelings infuse your body helping you build inner resources

8:26now I invite you to bring to mind a situation or moment that has felt uncomfortable or uncertain recently not something overwhelming or traumatic but something that lingers or unsettles you it could be a decision you're unsure about a conversation that didn't go the way you hoped or a feeling of not knowing what comes next.

8:58Allow the discomfort or uncertainty to gently come into focus.

9:09Let yourself feel how it shows up in your body, maybe as tightness, restlessness, heaviness or a sense of agitation or stuckness

9:25you're not trying to fix it just noticing, allowing

9:35if at any point this becomes too intense feel free to pause Open your eyes, look around, and connect with your environment. Stretch or shift your posture. You can always return to this practice when you feel ready.

10:05with each breath invite yourself to stay close to this feeling of discomfort name it gently uncertainty is here discomfort is here just like greeting an old friend notice what happens as you acknowledge it without needing to change it

10:33let the breath hold you as you sit with what's hard to sit with

10:54while part of you may want to run away from the pain mindfulness can help you give it space

11:14feel yourself opening to accept and befriend this discomfort to whatever extent you are able you might whisper inwardly it's okay not to know it's okay to feel unsettled

11:35explore what it's like to welcome this discomfort as part of your human experience

11:50not a mistake not a problem to solve but something to be with

12:17now notice if there's any judgment or resistance around what you're feeling can you soften toward that too offer it some kindness like cradling a part of yourself that's just trying to make sense of the unknown

12:39if it helps You can even place a hand over your heart or belly, grounding your awareness through touch. You could say inwardly, My dear discomfort, I see you. It's okay for you to be here. I'm here with you. I will do my best to take care of you.

13:08let yourself express whatever arises for this part of yourself that may often get pushed away now you can offer it the care it needs

13:32Let yourself rest in this space of not knowing, without needing to resolve anything. There's a deep strength in staying with the question, in allowing the answer to ripen in its own time.

13:54You might ask gently, what might this discomfort be trying to show me? Is there something I'm learning or being called to understand more deeply? And then simply listen.

14:19There's no need to rush to a conclusion.

14:27Trust that even silence is part of the response.

14:47let the breath continue to hold you let yourself be exactly where you are no pushing, no pulling just being with what is

15:19Discomfort and uncertainty are not enemies. They are teachers. When we turn toward them with mindfulness and compassion, they can reveal insights we might otherwise miss. In your daily life, when discomfort arises or uncertainty feels overwhelming, see if you can simply pause and recognize it. This is discomfort. This is not knowing. Feel where it lives in your body. Greet it with presence. this gentle awareness gives you space to respond instead of react

16:07you can slowly begin to bring movement into your body now wiggle your fingers or toes