13 Ways To Trigger ADHD Rage

0:00Timon Woodward:13 ways to trigger ADHD rage. God, yeah. You've had a glance at the list. I have, yeah. I'm very, very angry. It's actually making me feel like I might have some sort of anger management issues because I'm reading them and it's just boiling my blood. We should test our blood pressure. Yeah, we should before and afterwards. Just reading the list. Some of them might change the dynamic of the studio because it's opening up whole things we've never spoken about. It's like a workforce. I think people are going to listen to this and send it to their significant others as they're like, stop doing these things.

0:34If we go through all 13 and your significant other does all 13 of them, then I think you have a big conversation on your hands.

0:46Timon Woodward:We'll have to put a link to a good divorce lawyer in the description. Absolutely, yeah, yeah. I mean, should we get started? Yeah, let's do it. So 13 ways to trigger ADHD rage. So yeah, this one, I'm almost going red just thinking about it. 13, loud chewers. Oh, there's nothing worse. It's just, it's, it's the, it's physically painful to listen to. First date ruined if they're a loud chewer. Yeah. So the loud chewer, I mean, this could be a whole episode in itself. Loud chewers. I'm scared to move my mouth now. It's just breathing like, oh. Yeah, but I mean, what is it? I guess it's an interruption of hyper-focused in some way.

1:29You just want to think, and some idiot is eating. They're sort of nourishing themselves at your expense. That drives me mad. I have sort of like a PTSD from chewers from like years ago on the train that I can't get out of my head.

1:45Timon Woodward:What were they eating? I never know what they're eating. I can't. I honestly can't even like... What I have to do, if I see someone eating or hear someone eating on a train, I have to stand up and actually see who it is because I need to know who it is that I'm hating. It's not the crunching either. It's the smacking, wet smacking noise. So I was actually going to caveat... I was going to propose it's not just loud cheers. It's just cheers. Just cheers. Because I don't think it even... In some ways, it's even more annoying when they're trying to be discreet, you can still hear them. And it drives me absolutely mad.

2:21But I do have a genuine sort of theory as to why it's so annoying. And I think it has to go back to like tribal because when I'm eating at the same time, it's not as bad. It's only when they're eating. And it's almost like it's like an expense. It's like someone has killed the animal in the tribe, brought it back, and they're saying, you're not having any of it, but we're all going to eat it. and I think it's like instincts that your instinct to fight or flight kicks in you're like I'm going to have to kill this person and steal their food

2:53Timon Woodward:I've stepped away from entire friendships because of it before yeah you don't know when you meet someone you become friends with them and they invite you over for a pizza and you go over it can ruin the friendship if you then discover that they're allowed to yeah well I don't understand how people have got to this age like 35 we're about 35 36 37 really yeah how do you get to that age without someone saying something it must cause fights I think it must cause fights yeah I think if you actually boil down why do a lot of fights happen it's probably the early causes is cheering loudly yeah and it's like all built up and you can't say that because then you look like the maniac so you have to create some other excuse to have a fight with them because I work in cafes as you probably do too yeah and so you're surrounded by people eating you're trying to work and I came to this thought that what would be great is if there's a cafe that only I could eat at and no one else could but I don't think the prep are going to open that up wouldn't be a good business model I don't think so strawberries are the worst I don't know there's something really wet about a strawberry when someone's teeth slices through the strawberry then they start chewing it really slowly you can just hear the that's why you don't go to it's agonizing yeah yeah that's why is a strawberry the worst it's just the wetness of it and the grossness of it wetness is a bad thing and they enjoy it because you know it tastes good that's the worst it's them enjoying it makes it worse they're enjoying the pain that they're inflicting onto you it's an invasion of your ears like if you're on a train so let's say you're on a train and someone comes and sits next to you and they like put their elbow on yours You'd go, what are you doing?

4:40That's what it is for the ears. It's like an elbow in your ears from them. It's so irritating.

4:45Timon Woodward:At least close your mouth. It's like they're auditioning for a cereal commercial. It's just so inconsiderate. Yeah, it's horrendous. I don't want to see what you're eating. But the thing I've realized now, I don't discriminate against anyone because actually when I'm eating, it annoys me. Me hearing myself eat drives me crazy. So I don't know if that's specific to me and I need to see someone professionally about that. Well, that sounds like torture because you have to eat, right? Yeah. Shall we move on to the next one? This is why I look so upset all the time. Because I'm thinking, oh, I've got to eat later.

5:22Timon Woodward:I'm not going to feel bad for you tonight at dinner time. Right, number 12. This one's even worse, I think. Slow walkers. Oh, yeah. I mean, especially when you're late for something. That's because you're rushing. You're trying to get there. You don't want to let someone down. And then there's someone taking up the whole pavement. There's a couple of them. And you have to put yourself in danger. You have to step in the road, fast-moving traffic, just to get past them because they're so bloody rude. It is. It's terrifying. I think they should normalize, like bikes have bells, cars have horns. There should be like a little bell you wear on your wrist so you can get them out of the way and go ding, ding, ding, ding, ding to get the slow walker out of the way.

6:05Timon Woodward:we should normalize just being able to barge people out of the way I know there's some people that can't you know there's some real reasons why people walk fast but it doesn't get in the way of the annoyance especially when someone is taking up an entire route or an entire alleyway or an entire pavement and you have no choice but to just again it's the arrogance of it though it's the you know that they're just in their own little world and they're right in the middle of the pavement like i walk if it's like an alleyway i almost walk with my back like scraping the the wall to make sure that i'm not in anyone's way but then i thought we are all slow walkers in other people's stories true there's always someone faster yeah behind us the entitlement of it it's like i'm going to walk slowly and block this person from probably getting to what to them is a hyper focus yeah like if i'm in a supermarket my destination my food whatever it is that's my focus in the moment.

7:04Timon Woodward:And it's almost like the slow walker is interrupting that focus. It's getting in the way of me being able to get that dopamine. And it's just so infuriating. You want to... I think there's only one excuse for a slow walker. And that's if they're on their phone subscribing to ADHD chatter. Well, that's that. We can forgive them for that. But yeah, I mean, if you add phones into the whole equation, that's so irritating because it's not just slow walkers. It's when they're coming towards you on their phone. And when someone leaves their trolley in the middle of the aisle as well and they're slow in putting it there and you can't get past the trolley yeah I'm just trying to think why I know what you mean but I haven't had that in a long time and I'm trying to think why that is I think it goes into the entitlement of it like if you leave your trolley in the middle of a supermarket aisle blocking anyone else from being able to get past at any speed yeah but that also in fairness seems like something someone with ADHD would do yeah but we forgive ourselves Yeah, because they would be on a side quest, looking for something else somewhere, and they've forgotten about the trolley.

8:09Timon Woodward:And slow drivers, just an extension, really, for the same reasons. Right, so very, very close to number 12, 11, slow talkers. Yes, slow talkers. The only way I can describe it, you know when you do a plank, that exercise, where you have to, like, like a push-up, but you stay horizontal. talk this is taking all day like the physical pain they're trying to maintain in the plank position that's the pain that is listening to someone slow talking do you put that a bit down to the sort of the intuition that people with adhd have where they know it's going to whether the sentence is going to end so let's just just come out with it because you need to be polite and let them finish even though you know what they're going to say already yeah yeah so you say yeah yeah yeah as if just imply that you understand their point but they keep going or you've already already finished their sentence in your head.

9:03Timon Woodward:And it's so painful almost listening to them say what you know they're already going to say. Yeah. But have you ever been so frustrated with a slow talker that you've finished their sentence and it wasn't what they were going to say at all? Have you done that? Yeah. Tried to predict it and it's not even close to what they were going to say. And then you just look mad and rude. But yeah, it's like, I guess you want a remote control to fast forward them. Or voice messages. voice notes a long voice note they're fine luckily you can put it on times two speed sometimes but if there's lots of errs errs you know when you call up a company and it's an automated service that answers the phone it takes you through like five options like press one for customer service press two for returns it's so slow to go through the list and it's even worse now when they say say your what do they they ask you questions you have to say it it's like say yes or no and you have to like you look sheepish and it's probably in a queue and you're like yes what's your name alex thanks alicia no alex yeah exactly it looks like you've just gone crazy right number 10 interrupting a hyper focus it's so annoying it feels like you're just able to get focused from time to time like the amount of effort that it takes someone with adhd to find that focus.

10:27Timon Woodward:And it's such a rare occurrence. And when you get it, it's like gold. And it's so valuable to you. And you can get so much stuff done. Because it's so rare, you value it so much. So when someone taps you on the shoulder or comes in the room and tries to get your attention or ask you a question, it's pulling you out of something that is so valuable to you. And it's just, it's absolutely rage-inducing. In a week, how often do you get a proper hyper-focus? Normally once a week, I'd say. That's so rare, aren't they? Yeah. I kind of store up a load of things that I need to do, like go through my emails.

11:00Timon Woodward:And I anticipate a hyper-focus, and I'm like, I do 10 tasks in an hour. But if someone, if the doorbell goes, or my phone rings, then it's agonizing, because you don't know when the next one's going to come. No, exactly. And it's very difficult to get yourself into that state. But I think the other part is the irrational hatred towards the person that interrupts it. They can be someone really close to you as well. Well, yeah, they don't know they're interrupting the hyperfocus. Like a postman ringing the doorbell to bring you a package that you've ordered doesn't realize that he's interrupted a hyperfocus.

11:34But for some reason, you think that they should have known. There should be like a little app that tells everyone that you've entered hyperfocus so that they don't bother you.

11:42Timon Woodward:Like in a hotel, like do not disturb. Exactly, yeah, yeah, but like a digital version. Maybe I should make a little t-shirt. You turn it one way, it says do not disturb. The other way is please distract me. That's actually a very good point. When you go to a hairdresser, you should be able to pick the color of your bib. And if you pick a red one, then it's no small talk. They'd still do it though, wouldn't they? Yeah, they would try. Bloody hairdressers. They would try. Well, I guess if you're cutting hair all day, you want conversation probably what gets you through it. True. Because judging by some of the haircuts I've had, definitely wasn't the quality of the haircut that got me through it.

12:19Not the love for the job.

12:21Timon Woodward:It won't be long and I won't need haircuts anymore. a few more years yeah that's actually yeah that's a saving grace me i'm going i'm thin as well and that is the saving grace you might never it's so much easier isn't it um right number nine so this one's actually a new one to me i hadn't heard this one but now now i see it written down it makes a hell of a lot of sense turning on the big light without a warning. Why would somebody do that? If you're happy in your flat or your home, in your zen state, with maybe some music playing, the lights are dim, you've got a candle going, you're in your happy place, and then your partner or someone comes in and flicks on the big light, completely overstimulates you.

13:09Timon Woodward:Why would someone do that? At least give some warning to say that you're transitioning from this lovely relaxed state to this hell. Exactly. Yeah, it's the height of selfishness. If I've got the low light on and I need to find something, I use my phone torch first. That's exactly, that's not what a normal conscientious person would do. Selfish. But if you grew up with siblings, you must have had a sibling in your family who it'd be like one o 'clock in the morning, you'd be fast asleep, and they'd just walk into your room, turn on the light, because they're looking for something, and then leave without turning it back off.

13:48Does that ever happen to you?

13:50Timon Woodward:Oh, all the time. People don't understand when you're in your happy place, how hard it is to find contentment and that perfect level of stimulation. It's the ultimate quest for the ADHD person. And when you get it and you know what the conditions are for you that creates that, which is low lighting, probably a scented candle, whatever it is, your nice, loose clothing, and you're just in your zen, that someone comes in like a bulldozer and turns on the big light. It's like it stampedes your peace. I mean, who's really to blame here? I guess it would be Thomas Edison, wouldn't it? The inventor of the light bulb.

14:27Timon Woodward:The big light people, because they're out there, there's lots of them, they always seem to find the small light people. I think it should be a question you ask on your first day. Yeah. Because if you don't get that out of the way, it's a compatibility issue that's going to cause big problems later on. Big light versus small light. Yeah. That's a good point. They don't have that on like dating apps, do they? What sort of light do you like? No. They should. I think, because it's huge, I think the kitchen is the only place you can use the big light. Yeah. Another example of it is, and I'm sure you're the same, overstimulation clubbing back in the day.

15:04Horrible. What, seals? Navy seals. Extreme sport. Going out and clubbing Navy seals. being totally overstimulated by people noise in a club. Horrible. I couldn't stand it. I hated it.

15:21Timon Woodward:All the, like, dancing on a busy dance floor. All of it. Absolutely everything. Having to queue up for drinks and all that crap. But you get real into it as a student. However, at the end of the night, they turn on the big lights. That's worse than the experience of clubbing. Was that. That's how bad it is. That's how bad big lights are. is that they are the worst part of going to clubs. Oh, no. So now we're approaching number eight. No phone signal or tech, just generally not working. It's infuriating. I think this is connected to the interruption mid-hyperfocus interruption. Because if you're on a train and you're zooming along, you're going in and out of signal areas and you're watching a YouTube video or you're listening to a song or you're trying to get a piece of work done, and then your phone signal dies and it interrupts that focus.

16:12Timon Woodward:I think it's the same reason for what we were just discussing. Yeah, I remember there's a comedian once who said that it's incredible that we can do any of these things at all. Like Wi-Fi, that it exists is amazing. And we should be grateful for that. So when it cuts out for a bit, that's nothing to get angry about. But I totally disagree with that. It's the promise is there. They've promised. It's the unfulfillment of the promise is what is so annoying. so Wi-Fi they promised that we can have internet and when it cuts out you are you should be getting angry because you're like that little circular buffering graphic that appears on a YouTube video when the signal cuts and you're just screaming I think laptops have been broken that way yeah cracked screens one thing happened to me the other day which was I was on Instagram just uploaded a picture a great picture really excited about the likes coming in.

17:10I saw five people had liked it and then I, internet cut out so I could see how many people liked it. I couldn't see who had liked it. That drove me crazy. So that phone is now at the bottom of the Thames. It's not the phone's fault. It's the Wi-Fi's fault.

17:29Timon Woodward:We can't be held responsible for our dysregulated emotions. Yeah, just taking it out on anything and everything. So number seven, this one's a big one as well isn't it in the community i've heard a lot of people talk about this um can't find something that you were just holding oh oh my god it's it's you've got it in your hand like your phone and you put it down and you go off you get distracted by a side quest or you open the fridge and then you can't it happens with me and my glasses all the time my partner will tell you like she said how often do you lose your glasses probably three four times a day and it's just the annoyance of how can i be so stupid they were just in my hand a few infuriating or the cliche they're still on your head sometimes they are but most of the time i've put them down somewhere and my flat's not even that big like i don't understand how i can be so unaware of my surroundings sometimes there's a really funny meme of um someone had written grandma had lost her glasses and she was accusing everyone in the house and then there's a picture of a loaf of bread with the glass and the glasses handles just sticking out and she'd drop them when she was baking i do the same with my car i have when i park to go to the gym or just go into town i now i take up i take a picture of the floor that i'm on in the car park um because the amount of times i come back to the car park which isn't even that big it's like three floor three stories and I'm walking around like a headless chicken trying to find my car time and time again.

19:01Timon Woodward:Or if I park my car now, I'll go off, go shopping and come back and I've forgotten which street I parked it in. I remember you uploaded a picture of you having lost your car in the gym car park. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Did you go home or something? No, I found it, yeah. After about an hour, the car park wasn't even that big. It's like three stories by 50 meters by 50 meters, probably only like 200 cars in there. or the amount of times you walk into a room and you think why am I in here again I had something to do which is really really frustrating yeah I mean you can leave the fridge door open I think I'm terrible at closing cupboard doors because I walk off and I forget that I need to do one more thing okay so that brings us to number six the final half dozen the final half dozen so number six waiting in a queue or waiting in line Yeah.

19:54Timon Woodward:I mean, there's nothing worse. It's infuriating, especially when it's not even something that exciting. Like taking a returns parcel back at the post office. Oh, yeah. There's no payoff at the end. No. If you're at an amusement park or a theme park, at least you're going to get something. You're going to get a roller coaster. Yeah. But if you're just doing something mundane. Waiting in queues is a big one. I mean, it's basically slow walkers en masse, isn't it? it's like slow walkers obviously but it's not like it's not the slow walkers fault so you've got to find someone else to hate yeah I mean it's infuriating and then the injustice as well if you see someone queue jump because they found the hack being rude is the hack yeah just having no manners is the biggest life hack yeah what do you think the solution is to queues I mean is there is there a solution to that boredom probably not the internet then the then the wifi goes down yeah exactly You can't win.

20:51This world is just absolutely horrible. I was in Zara because I wanted to buy some new shoes. And I found the shoes, had them in my size.

21:05And there was two people in the queue. And I was like, I can't do it. I'll go home and order them, which is insane. And I haven't ordered them yet, which is why I'm barefoot today. number five so yes another big one slurping a drink ooh

21:24Timon Woodward:trigger warning I'm going to do a demonstration of the slurp oh god

21:31Timon Woodward:apologies to everyone what so why is that so annoying I was half expecting you to lash out and slap me around the face if the microphones weren't here I would have done I think it's just the wetness I think it's the lack of self-control like why can't someone just sip their drink in a civilized way. It's so disgusting. Someone so much looking after their self that they're forgetting everyone around them. It's the inconsideration, isn't it? What's worse is the... Because that's just... It's not even functional then. You're just telling everyone how nice that was. Yeah, it's the entitlement. They're just trying to make the point.

22:12Yeah. I mean, there's other things, but for an audio platform, it's not fair to the listener to do any of the noises. But like the snot, when someone's got a runny nose and they keep sniffing it down. Yeah, they can get in the bin. Yeah, I don't know what the social etiquette is there. Can you tell them to be quiet? What's a polite way of saying, can you please sort your life out? It's annoying everyone else.

22:37Timon Woodward:You just have to cut off the friendship if you are friends with them or dump them. But what about in public spaces? Somehow control the rage. I think it must be the cause of so many public disturbances, like arguments, if you don't have that control to just keep it internalized. Well, the problem with noise in general is they're making a loud noise. They're unaware of it. I don't want to confront them because if they're that unhinged, they're so unaware of it, God knows what they might do if you make them angry. This is what they do when they're happy. Imagine what they're going to do if they're angry.

23:12Timon Woodward:People play a loud YouTube video on a train. If they don't have the insight to see how selfish they are, how are they going to respond if you say, oh, do you mind just turning that down? Again, only allowed if it is ADHD chatter. Yeah. Or The Simpsons. So that's number five. Number four, we have a visual demonstration. Yes. Would you like to get the visual demonstration up first? While I say at the same time, tangled wires.

23:46Timon Woodward:that noise was me showing anger. Yeah. Perfectly. All of those years at acting school. Exactly, yeah. I mean, it's just infuriating, isn't it? Because it seems like, again, it's kind of getting in the way of what you want to do. Nothing more boring than trying to untangle wires. And it's just the frustration. It's like the resistance that they put up. Or shoelaces. When they, you know, having a knot to untie and you don't have the finger nails for it yeah that was one of my mom's hacks to get me to do that was but they would always my family would always like they wouldn't have the time to do it so they'd be like oh timing you're really good at this but i played they're like compliment me and then make me do it how are you untangling wires i'm awful at it but they is the way that they tricked me into doing it by saying i was actually good at something and then i it made me want to make them proud by doing it

24:43I've been in therapy for a long time after my family traumatized me with such things but tangling wise I think the instinct is to