After 5,000 ADHD Assessments, I Noticed This Scary Pattern...

0:00Everyone wants to be ADHD until you're starving in your room because your appetite being completely gone. Because you're worrying about something so minor that happened that didn't go your way. And now you're overthinking about something constantly. So you can't eat and it hurts. It's a hyperfixation thing. Which is where the attention part comes in. We can't focus on school because we're worried about the world around us and our own little goals in our head that aren't told to us. We don't like being told what to do, and that hurts us a lot because the idea of school and being told to sit down is against our very nature and it hurts us.

0:37And it creates this anxious effect and people online just think it's a silly condition you have, or some silly quirk. It's a lot worse than people think, and nobody will understand. They think it's a fake illness, but it's much worse than that. Danielle you've assessed thousands of people with ADHD what do you think when you hear someone say

0:59Danielle Mulligan:those words I hear those words a lot and I think it's um something that has become somewhat popular in the social media world I think a lot of people talk about ADHD and I think a lot of people have somewhat jumped on well I can't concentrate at this time and that time and I think people think it's somewhat a fun thing to have because there's people with adhd that present the really fun side of adhd rather than the difficult sort of things that were mentioned in that in terms of the the schooling in terms of the you know the really hard graft and the effort people have to put in on a day-to-day basis is exhausting and people don't see that and that isn't publicized the same as the fun parts of ADHD, the hyperactive impulsive decisions, the fun excursions on holiday that they get into.

1:54Danielle Mulligan:All of that is seen as being fun and happy, whereas people with ADHD often talk about how they wish they didn't have it. Yeah, that's so interesting. I think the fun side of it, the sort of bubbly character, the loud energetic person at the party is so often actually just a mask and people don't see the inner turmoil and the effort that goes into maintaining that facade of quote-unquote normal just to keep everyone else happy whilst inside often crumbling with shame. I think there's one big misconception about ADHD that does the most damage and we're going to come back to that in a moment. But do you think many people come to you as an ADHD assessor believing that they are fundamentally broken?

2:41Danielle Mulligan:yeah i think a lot of the time they were a last cause i think it's they've had years especially in terms of adults they've had years of coping masking looking like they're coping feeling like they've not got it together looking at the world and the world's coping and comparing themselves to well actually you know she's got it together with two kids why have i not got it together with two kids and not really understanding that they've hidden this for years and years and years and I think they will see themselves as the problem and I don't think they come thinking I've definitely got ADHD I think they come and think this could make sense um but if it doesn't then I am the problem I think it's a really not negative thing but they come with this really negative side of what's wrong with me and help me sort of thing um but I do think many many many people come thinking that they're just they're not not normal what is normal but they're not normal um and I do think social media makes it hard I think you know everyone posts the best bits of their life don't they and I think more people are starting to document that struggle I think I'm seeing more things like you know like parents documenting the negative side of parenting because it's great but it's hard and then equally you're seeing a bit more of that in the adhd world as well where not everyone's posting the beautiful side they're also posting the difficult side um but i think a lot of people walk through the doors or like you know log on come on to an online assessment and say you know what's wrong with me because i'm i'm still struggling and i've tried everything and it's no better than it was before i think social media is so toxic generally for adhd particularly, because like you said, wonderfully, you end up comparing your behind the scenes, which often could be lying on the sofa, completely paralyzed with task overwhelm, fully aware of how much stuff you have to do.

4:39You know, you've got to text that person back, reply to that email or clean the flat. But because there's just so many highly caffeinated squirrels in your mind, you just can't do it. And you're beating yourself up inside. And then you go on social media and you see somebody who's got a promotion or they're on that perfect holiday and that comparison really really eats away there's the horrible consequence of that is you end up lying there thinking that you're lazy or you're crazy or you're fundamentally broken what traits of ADHD do you think are responsible for that

5:08Danielle Mulligan:feeling so I think the hyperactivity side of it where like you wrote for Lizard you sat there thinking you need to take the washing out you need to clean the flight you need to go food shopping and oh actually you've got that assignment at work that you've not finished yet and And that task overload and that sort of hyperactivity, restless side of the ADHD, I think is what makes people feel like they're lazy. And saying someone with ADHD is lazy is the most backwards way of thinking. It shouldn't even be in the same sentence together. And they're not lazy at all. It's that hyperactivity, restlessness, overthinking, that 100 mile an hour that, like you say, they just sit there froze.

5:47Danielle Mulligan:and people don't know what to do next because they've got so much to do already. And I think that's the biggest thing for me, that that's the unseen. You don't see that because all you see is a shell of a person sat not knowing what to do, not all of that ticking around inside. And it'd be great if you could like see that because I think everyone would go, oh my God, stop, turn it off, turn it off. I don't want to see it anymore. Whereas like that's what people with ADHD deal with every single minute of the day. even when they're asleep it's still going on and i think that's the unseen side that people don't realize and i think that's probably the hardest thing for people with adhd that that just never stopping yeah i don't think there'll be a single person listening to this podcast who hasn't at one point in their life been told that they just need to try harder and they're thinking do more do more they're doing so much more they're trying so much harder than than the people that say that to then realize it's just invisible.

6:46It's like that internal workload. This is heartbreaking. You've assessed thousands of people with ADHD. What's the biggest pattern that you see amongst those people that scares you the most?

6:59Danielle Mulligan:So for me, it is the people with ADHD that have a really successful life. So on the surface, they've got a really good job or a good business, or they've got families or they've got all of the above and they just go through life you know on their success that you don't see the graft they've put in you don't see the overtime they've put in you don't see the doubt the anxiety and all of the extra bits that have helped them keep afloat you just think you can't have ADHD you're really successful yeah but you don't know that I sleep for three hours and I wake up and I have to then get my notepad and jot a load of things down because it's all in my head and and I think I've assessed especially in focused a lot of successful people that it surprises me that they don't think that ADHD is a thing for them because they've been successful like they did well in school and they got good grades they've got a successful job but then when you dig deeper and then you find well they ended up working for themselves because they couldn't do that whole nine to five they couldn't do that whole structure they couldn't fit in that box but then when they worked for themselves it was great and then it's even better when things are going terrible in their company because that's when they kick in and they're like this is what's going on I'm getting it all but when it's doing well they're almost waiting for it to fail and I think that's something that has surprised me the most because the world I think believes that unless you're that naughty boy bouncing off the walls in school there's no way anyone can have ADHD like you can't be a successful business person and have ADHD and I think that people need to understand that success doesn't mean there isn't an impairment it just means that you're not seeing like say that behind the scenes footage of the struggle that's real you're just seeing the great bits that have come out of it and a lot of people as well I've assessed have been driven by their ADHD symptoms that have got them to that position so that impulsive nature got them in that business that got them made that crazy business decision that I would have gone no do not do it you're going to lose everything but then it's worked out because they've just gone with it and I think people I hear it a lot about you can't have ADHD because you're successful and I think that narrative needs changing a lot yeah it's so true I think high achieving simply means high masking I was speaking to a woman with ADHD who was devastated because she told me she literally walked out of a divorce lawyer's office and fell to the floor on the pavement and burst into tears.

9:42Because in her head, she couldn't understand why one part of her life was going so well. Her business was flying, she was getting the accolades, she had just accepted some award for Entrepreneur of the Year. and yet when she got home in the evenings she had absolutely nothing left to give any time or energy to her relationship and the consequence of that which actually was in her mind the most important thing actually valued her husband more than anything and yet because she was having to put on this character so intensely every single day and make strides in an area that she was really only doing she said to me to impress somebody who said something to her when she was six years old on the playground and the cost of that masking was her marriage fell apart and she had this breakdown and she couldn't understand why and she figured out it was because she was masking so intensely it's devastating that feeling of being misunderstood do you think being misunderstood is the cause of shame and guilt for the ADHD community yeah I do and I think like say masking I think

10:47Danielle Mulligan:needs to be really unpicked a lot more um because i think people don't really understand the exhaustion of that of trying to be normal to everybody else um and i think i think it's yeah i think it's really really hard for people yeah i think there's a huge misunderstanding of often even like within family units i find someone gets an adhd diagnosis and And because the traits that took them to get assessed are considered normal within that family unit, because they probably most likely all have ADHD as well, that they get met with an eye roll or a sigh when they bring it up at the dinner table.

11:33But then you have the parents that do everything.

11:35Danielle Mulligan:Like I think about my little boy and my little girl, and I get the school bags ready, I get the uniform out. You know, I mask any difficulty they have because I do it for them without even thinking about it so you even have you know the parents that you've got the parents that potentially have exactly the same traits and they don't see it as a problem because that's what they did and then you have the parents that they cover it all up until that that child goes to university and then the child goes to university and realizes they can't do anything and are super overwhelmed and drop out because they can't cope because and then everyone goes yeah but you've coped all these years yeah because mum sat me down and made sure i did my homework because dad made sure that my clothes were washed and and you have this sort of massive sort of misconception of that child's always coped because they've had brilliant parents that have allowed them to cope or because their household that was their norm their norm was being chaos and doing everything last minute yeah it's like two sides of the coin really yes so true like the scaffolding that they have subconsciously relied on for all of their life is just gone and then suddenly things crumble and perhaps that leads to an assessment of ADHD.

12:48And there's a lot of people that think you get a diagnosis and then suddenly everything makes sense and then you're on the road to improvement. But because suddenly you become aware of how much you have been reliant on other people up until that point, you can go the other way. Your self-esteem can go in reverse.

13:05Danielle Mulligan:And that's not uncommon at all. I find it a lot. I've had a lot of patients where the diagnosis has made things worse for them and it's made them feel like it made less sense than if you did have a diet. Like I've had a patient that came to me and said, I sort of wish I didn't have it because now I've got it. It makes even less sense than it made before. And that sort of understanding and that narrative around, yeah, but I can't have had ADHD because of this. Or, you know, you're telling me I've got ADHD, I'm a 46 year old male and I don't really understand what that means. And their marriage was on like a really rocky sort of place.

13:49And then he was worried about his children.

13:53Danielle Mulligan:And it was all of that that then came from a diagnosis. So it wasn't a, well, that's great, let's take medicine and get better. It was a lot about what's medicine going to do? What about my son? What about my daughter? What about my wife? What about my relationship? What about my job? what about do i have to tell people do i want to tell people that whole narrative and it's taken us months to get to a position where he is accepting the diagnosis and yes it makes sense but it's almost made less sense to him than before and and he said like why anyone would want adhd is beyond him because it's awful and he wishes that he could just take it away and get rid of it throat in the bin yeah that's heartbreaking yeah it's been a real journey that we've been on with him because obviously he came to us for an assessment started treatment and then there was this really lingering sort of sadness and I think it was something that we tried to then support him to then get to a position where he wasn't blaming himself because he went down this hole well this is all my fault I should have got seen sooner now I'm concerned about my son and my daughter and I'm concerned that my marriage is going to break down because I'm sad and he that's what he said he said I'm sad that I have this and that it's impacting me so much now and I don't know what to do and that's a horrible place for anyone to be in what do you think the biggest thing people with ADHD blame themselves for anything that goes wrong I think I don't think it's a single activity I think, you know, if you start an argument with your partner, I think they blame themselves.

15:33Danielle Mulligan:I think they blame themselves for the partner being frustrated. And I think that whole rejection, I think is massive for so many people with ADHD. And I think it's something that you can't fix. I can't teach somebody to just accept rejection. It's horrible for anybody to accept. But for someone who then holds that for years so deeply and can't let it go it's not so easy to oh just let it go it doesn't matter now that happened when you were six like stop stop now it doesn't matter but it does matter because that that's what they base the whole life on and it is huge for people and it cuts deep as well doesn't it realizing how sensitive to criticism and rejection you are is one thing after a diagnosis, but then looking back and seeing the fawn that that turned you into and the decisions that you made simply to avoid upsetting someone.

16:36And I think that can make particularly women extremely vulnerable. I've spoken to so many people that have had a diagnosis, and I would say about 90 % of them have said this, that after the diagnosis, they expected that they would have a sense of relief.

16:52Danielle Mulligan:Or freedom. Or freedom. Like, I know what it is now. But the feeling that they were shocked by was on top of the relief, there was this huge grief. And sadness. What do you think people are grieving after a diagnosis? What they've missed, what they could have done better. The whole teachers, you know, if you tried a bit harder, you'd get A stars. And I think they grieve. their younger selves that they can't support and change and then I think they worry about their future selves because they don't know what that looks like and I think because a lot of these people have just trooped through life and they've just got on with it most of the time that when they're told well what you've done is brilliant but actually you know maybe try something different that's scary as well and then they're grieving the younger self and their childhood self and And then they're scared of their future self because they don't know who they are anymore.

17:50Danielle Mulligan:Their identity is completely lost. And they've got to then rebuild themselves from the beginning. And I think that's a really hard thing to do. Not matter what age you are, but most of people who get a late diagnosis, to then rebuild your life is so daunting. Yes, it's huge. I spoke to a lady who had a diagnosis and she said the biggest thing she grieved was how much of her self she gave to a bad relationship. One that was, in retrospect, clearly toxic. One where she didn't know how to stand up for herself. She was essentially manipulated and gaslit on so many occasions. but because she didn't know how to say no, and she didn't know how to put boundaries in place or stand up for herself, she was walked all over in this relationship.

18:41And you look back and you can see that happened. Because I have ADHD, I'm so sensitive to criticism because of my differences, I was criticized 20 ,000 extra times when I was a child. And when so much comes together and makes sense simultaneously i think it can be an emotional tsunami post-diagnosis and even something as small

19:04Danielle Mulligan:as being a parent's children and then thinking i've gone about parenting the completely wrong way like we're just thinking we're coming to the end of the summer holidays and you know people have been at home with the kids and even though slight you know have i let my kids down that guilt of things like was i not present for my children because i was masking my own sort of difficulties without even knowing like it's just honestly must be so overwhelming from assessing so many people with adhd are you still surprised at how well some people hide their adhd massively surprised and i still continue to be surprised and i think sometimes the patients are surprised at how well they've masked it um because there was a lady recently um that i assessed who believed she was like a really terrible mother because she didn't have it together so she'd done the whole all these people on Instagram have got two kids and they're all coping I'm a stay-at-home mom and I'm not coping and I think when you unpicked the puzzle with her it was because of her ADHD she was just not managing that situation very well and and and she was putting it to the I'm just not made to be a mom I'm a bad person and my kids would be better off without me and it was a really negative cycle that when she understood her ADHD and the fact that the house didn't, she didn't have to follow the kids tidying up every three minutes and that there was ways we could manage, her life completely changed.

20:36Danielle Mulligan:And she went down into looking into medication and things, but then didn't like the sound of medication. And she was just like, how can I just be better? And it was sad that she wanted to be better because she was already amazing. And it was then helping her to understand the things she'd already done so like in her her instance she was so creative and the way she did things with her kids were things that i didn't do with my kids and it was a bit like trying to help her to understand that you know she went on a rocket ship to the moon when her son was scared of the thunder and you know it was amazing and you know like how those memories were so important and yet she was beating herself up at the fact that the house was a mess and the washing was in the washing machine for three days and it's a bit like but that doesn't matter and then equally trying to tell people who are in that frame of mind that the instagram mums haven't got it together either and they haven't been diagnosed with adhd yes um so it's finding that balance um between the both but i think to then see the end journey of those people is absolutely beautiful from a clinician perspective so you come in and they're at the lowest of the lows they think I'm here just to you know my friend said it might be ADHD and I thought why the heck not and you think there must be something that's driven this other than that friend and then you become on this huge journey of understanding and and figuring out what's happened when where why and what for to then unmask this person that just flowers in front of you and you're like oh my god so you know you do that and you do this and you don't think about that and you don't think about this and yet you think you're a terrible mum but then look at this and I'll like your child isn't going to remember that you you were late handing that form in for the trip but they're going to remember the fact that you picked them up every day and that you know you were you took them on amazing holidays and that the six weeks holidays were really fun and and just like pulling that information um is really really beautiful to help them understand as well yes I want to talk about what actually happens within your assessments in a moment, because I think that's really exciting.

22:43But I want to think about the people who listen to this podcast just for a moment. Many of them were missed for many, many years. Why do you think so many ADHD people are missed, sometimes for decades?

22:55Danielle Mulligan:So I think it's been how quickly the world's changed. So if you go right back to our great-grandparents, where they were labourers, they had hands-on jobs, they walked to work, They didn't have a choice in what foods they needed. They just got given what they were given. The world was easier to somewhat hide ADHD symptoms. And then I think as the world's become, everyone has to sit down between nine to five and do really boring screen jobs. People aren't always built for that kind of work. And I think it's been something that over decades, people have gone, well, you know, back in the day, there wasn't ADHD.

23:36Danielle Mulligan:Well, there was, you just didn't see it and now we can see it because the world is making us see it and i think what's really sad about things being missed is that the majority of the time it's been those successful people that have been missed because they've used their adhd as a strength rather than a weakness even though behind the scenes you know they're on the floor absolutely exhausted they've been driven by their impulsivity they've been driven by their when they can hyper focus and when they can't hyper focus and I think it's been something that has just I still think so many people are missed though I don't think it's it's fixed I still think there's a long way to go and I think people need to understand ADHD from all of the other potential sort of conditions that could happen so you know exploring which we'll talk more a little bit about in terms of our assessments but you know understanding the whole narrative of that person to be able to unpick what's going on I think is really important but I still think a lot of people are getting missed even though there's this huge everyone's being misdiagnosed conversation going on in the world right now I still think there's so many people that slip through the net their whole life we're going to get to your assessments just in a moment because I think what you guys are doing is actually really exciting do you see a common pattern though in people perhaps who are about to reach a breaking point and they desperately need answers so yeah um i see a lot of people coming for assessments where it's a make or break assessment for them like whether it's for the marriage for the job just for their entire existence sometimes where they'll sit and they'll go, if it's not this, I don't know what I'm going to do, which is, must be a terrible, I've never been in that position myself, but it must be a horrible position to be in thinking like, if it's not ADHD and I can't get an answer of what's going on with me, then I genuinely don't know what I'm going to do or what support I'm going to get or where I'm going to go next or where I need to go next.

25:45Danielle Mulligan:And all those unanswered questions that sometimes a clinician can't answer, I think is a really scary position to be in. So let's move on to the clinic that you and your team started to address this problem. What inspired the creation of Focused? So what inspired Focused was very much having a service that was affordable for people and that gave people opportunity to come and get support that they needed. Obviously you've got massive weights in the NHS in different areas, rights to choose isn't necessarily fully established and I think it was a way where people within the company had had personal experience of wait times and it was just something that it shouldn't be so complicated to get an assessment and it shouldn't be so difficult and it shouldn't cost thousands and thousands of pounds to be able to do that because you know if you get a throat infection it doesn't cost you thousands of pounds to fix that and I think it came from the place of wanting to help as many people as possible as quickly as possible um you know different companies had big wait times and i think everyone within focus just wanted the mission of supporting as many people across the uk as we possibly can fantastic and how do focused conduct their assessments differently so we've been on a journey at focused over the past sort of year and we we make sure that when you come into your assessment we explore your whole story so it's not just a case of you know can you concentrate yes no can you not concentrate can you are you hyperactive like it's very much like you know tell us about what's going on because we're not here to give you ADHD we're here to see if ADHD is part of your story and we're also in the process of that exploring what is going on we want to know how we can help you and if we're the right people to help you or not and if adhd is something then we want to take you on that and be on as part of that journey and if it's not then we want to make sure you get the right help that you need it's almost like this many mini mental health assessment where we explore every narrative every stone is turned and it is absolutely exhausting for patients and for clinicians because you know you constantly you want to know about what happened as a child do you want to know what happened you know what's brought them to that assessment you know what's going on now what's happened before what we're worried about next and and it is a whole investigation you have to be like a mini detective and you've got to get through that masking as well because people don't always drop that mask in assessments and then you've got to find your way your way in which can be quite tricky as well um which is a big reason why we do two hour assessments as well to be able to give you time because you're going to come and you're going to want to impress me and pretend everything's okay when it's not.

28:39Danielle Mulligan:And it takes quite a lot of our skilled assessors to be able to get those masks dropped. Apart from masking, what as an assessor are you actually looking for? Because I think this is super interesting for the people listening who many people know or think they have ADHD, but many are also thinking like, what is an assessor actually looking for if they were a fly on the wall if someone comes in what signals makes your brain go that's adhd so we're looking for that that huge impairment regardless of if you've been successful or not like what has what has caused things to be so difficult in your day-to-day life that make that makes things so exhausting that makes things so difficult and how long has that been going on for and when did it start and and you know what how is it worse now because We assess adults for ADHD.

29:27Danielle Mulligan:So, you know, you've got people from 18 to sort of, in their 60s, we've had people come that are over 60 for assessments. Like, what's going so terribly wrong now that you think ADHD is the answer? And unpicking that whole story, which is so fascinating to understand people's lives. And what steps have focused, put in place to make sure that the people who come to you for an assessment feel supported and receive an accurate diagnosis? So we did a lot of research and we gained a lot of insight into what people need and what people want from an assessment using sort of clinical guidance, you know, building standards.

30:08Danielle Mulligan:We originally started our assessments being 90 minutes and we quickly realised we needed to extend that time. The reason being is that we just needed assessments going over and we just needed to understand more of that story. We've got support with note-taking for our assessors, meaning that they have got time to have that personable, beautiful conversation that flows naturally rather than typing frantically to try and keep up with notes. We've also established our onboarding process, which we've made simple for patients, but that equally gives us the information that we need from an assessor point of view so that that assessor is going in with a blanket overview of what's going on.

30:52Danielle Mulligan:so that they can unpick and explore that in more detail. So we're really trying to have that really thorough, in-depth assessment that everybody deserves without making it super complicated for everyone. What's the widening gap between NHS waiting lists and private assessment services? And what impact is that having on people seeking answers? So the impact that we've seen is obviously the big conversation around right-to's. um so I think what's really hard and isn't made very clear about right to choose is how in different parts of the country there's different wait times for everyone so like you know for example in London you might get seen within three weeks in Manchester it might be two years in Scotland it might be six years and in Isle of Wight it's getting like 50 odd years it's ridiculous their wait time because they're just not doing ADHD assessments and I think one thing that we ensure in focused is that we keep our quality of our assessments incredibly high so that you don't need to go and pay thousands of pounds for another assessment with another company because we're making it so that we're meeting the NHS standards so that we're giving you that quality and exceeding that quality because you know you're paying for this assessment and it doesn't matter if you're you think we're super cheap or if you think we're super expensive you know you when you pay for something it should be done to the highest of qualities and we do not drop that just because of our price we give you our assessment for 289 which includes your onboarding it includes your two-hour assessment with your clinician and it also includes that detailed report and which you can share with your employer you can share with your GP and to be able to give you that robust sort of care.

32:43Danielle Mulligan:So for 289, you get all of that support and support with our clinicians. Fantastic. A much needed service. Danielle, I want to move on to the most unpredictable part of the show, the emotionally unpredictable part of the show. And that's the washing machine of woes, which regular listeners will be fully aware is the audience questions. And I know there's a couple of bangers in here that I've been excited to ask you. It's a washing machine because for me it represents memory loss. I always leave my laundry in the machine after the cycle is finished. I ask all my guests, do you do that? Do you relate to that?

33:15Danielle Mulligan:So I don't do that, but my husband is so guilty of doing that. It's also a public service announcement. If anyone's listening to go and check their washing machine. But do come back. Right, Danielle, in the washing machine this week, the first question, the first spin. What's the biggest misconception about ADHD that you would love to correct? Lazy. I think we touched on it at the very beginning. Yes. But, you know, saying someone has got ADHD and that they're lazy in the same sentence just makes no sense in my brain. You know, you're far from lazy if you've got ADHD. Like, say, just because you freeze in that emotional overwhelm of a million and one tasks that you need to do does not make you lazy.

34:02Danielle Mulligan:But that's the biggest one for me. Yeah, 100%. And totally agree with you. the next spin the next question from the washing machine is if every person listening with adhd could hear one message from you right now what would that be you're allowed to be successful and have an impairment you're allowed to be successful that's like you're allowed to give yourself success and still struggle on a day-to-day basis yes um and i think i don't want people who are crumbling at the sides but still doing well in employment or bossing parenting or everything of the above still not believe that they're struggling it is okay to struggle and be successful gosh amazing getting quite emotional just before we finish danielle i've got a surprise for you i want to deliver to you a letter this letter was written by the previous guest and it's a letter to their younger self which i always deliver to the current guest and they read it so dear younger me I wish I could sit next to you and tell you something nobody else knew to tell you you are not lazy you are not difficult and you are not broken I know you've started noticing that things other people find easy feeling possibly hard for you and eventually you'll stop blaming the world and start blaming yourself please don't one day somebody will explain your brain to you and suddenly your whole life will make sense but there will be grief too you'll think about all the years you spent trying to become someone easier to understand.

35:27Danielle Mulligan:All the times you apologize for being too much. All the parts of yourself you learn to hide but eventually something beautiful happens and you stop hiding. You start talking and the things you once were ashamed of and thousands of people will hear you and think me too. You were never broken little girl who needed fixing. You were just a little girl trying to understand a brain nobody had explained to her yet. I understand you now. I'm sorry it took me so long. Love your younger self. Wow, what a lovely letter. And thank you for reading it so beautifully. On behalf of everybody listening and watching, trying to understand their brains, Danielle, thank you so much.

36:07Danielle Mulligan:Thank you.