Confessions from the Candy Bowl: The Halloween Episode Every Parent Actually Needs

0:00The following podcast is a dear media production. besties like many of you i sleep at night and there's nothing like a good night of sleep man i just love it especially on a good mattress i hate a bad mattress and hopefully like most of you i like taking care of the planet i love this place i don't think i could live anywhere else you know what i mean but it's disappointing to see most companies don't care about our planet Bummer, right? That is why I'm glad Avocado Green Mattress exists. They combine sustainability, social responsibility, and most importantly, comfort. Not only are they made with luxurious comfort in mind for your family, they're also goals and got certified.

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1:20Wow, is that nice to see from a company out there. With code BLF, you save an extra$25 on crib and kids' mattresses on top of their holiday sale. That's an extra$25 off their current sale at AvocadoGreenMattress.com with the code BLF. Avocado, dream of better. We're surrounded by fun-sized candy wrappers. There is a suspicious chocolate smear on the couch that I'm sitting on. And we've officially hit that time of year when our kids are high on sugar and we're just surviving. Honestly, this is Confessions from the Candy Bowl, our very special after bedtime Halloween episode. There's no parenting advice.

2:04There's no Pinterest perfect anything. You're not going to hear a craft from us. You can look that up on Pinterest if you want to. It's just us, me and Tyler, VP Hype Squad, a pile of candy because we deserve that. and the truth about what Halloween really looks like once you have kids. We're talking the candy we steal, the costumes our kids change their minds about seven times, and the parenting hot takes that are about to start fights in the comment section. Plus your real Halloween horror stories, the ones that end in glitter, in barf, or both. So grab a mini Snickers, pour yourself something stronger than apple cider, or don't, some tea, some kombucha, whatever your poison is, and come laugh with us because this is a Halloween episode every parent actually needs.

2:51Welcome to After Bedtime, where the house is finally quiet, but the real noise begins. The thoughts, the questions, the wondering if you're doing any of this right. We're Kristen and Dina, child behavior experts, moms, and co-founders of Big Little Feelings. And we're not here to give you more pressure or perfect parenting energy. Nope. We're here to tell the truth, the unfiltered, beautiful, brutal truth about what it means to raise kids and re-raise ourselves in the process. Because parenting isn't just about sleep schedules and snack hacks. It's about healing. It's about breaking cycles. It's about becoming the kind of adult you want your kids to grow up to be.

3:30This is the place where we say the quiet parts out loud. And we're so glad that you're here. Bubba, what's up, dude? what's up what's up hi i actually have not seen you this morning much i did see you early in the morning like i saw you this morning yeah but it's now like since then i mean it's 11 30 so it hasn't been that long no how are you i'm good okay cool speaking of halloween you know what oh yeah no how are you no okay good if somebody ever actually asks how i am then like organically i think we just have to end the show you know i guess yeah no this breeze over it what were you gonna say over it you know what i was thinking about this morning speaking of halloween tell me do you remember when like looney tunes tattoos were really big yeah actually yeah like looney tunes clothing sure like where bugs bunny was wearing like jinko jeans you know when you started talking i i'm gonna be honest i kind of was like because like i thought it was gonna be a really obscure thing but yes i absolutely know what you're talking about it's still obscure but you know what I'm talking about.

4:30Yeah. They should bring that back. But you know what I noticed because I was thinking about the clothing and I was like, oh, people used to have like Looney Toons tattoos, too. And so like I started looking up Looney Toons tattoos and there's some good ones out there. Is that is that it? Well, you know, and then I found like a subset of tattoos, which are just like gangster Looney Toons tattoos. That's like a whole genre of tattoos when are we doing this like when are you having the time to research this literally while you're doing the intro okay just now just now you are doing that but now we're gonna pivot because i want to talk about pumpkin spice lattes i want to talk about horror movies i want to talk about halloween i want to talk about vibes i want to talk about pumpkin patches you know what i mean i live for this i live for this shit you do this is like you're a seasonal you're a seasonal person You're a seasonal mom.

5:27A seasonal bitch. I'm a seasonal person. I'm a seasonal soul. Goes beyond gender and roles and types. I'm just like deep down. Here's the thing. Have you had a pumpkin spice latte yet? No, I don't like syrups. I don't either. Well, then there you go. I know. That's the end of this conversation. Okay. It's really a shame. I actually don't like any. And this doesn't matter at all. I opened a DM the other day. and it was actually in relation to being in this exact room with you having four beverages the last time i had like a giant water i had a giant okay we all talked about it when i had like four beverages okay coffee matcha whatever and they're back and this how dare you four beverages how dare you four beverages how dare you okay i do literally have four today it's a lot i do have four listen i have my one giant water bottle i have one coffee that i already mostly drank I have my matcha latte that still has ice in it and it's great and then I have a smoothie which is exactly what I said look it's a pumpkin spice protein shake gross okay I opened a dm first mistake and this person wrote this said what's with you Americans and all the big sugary drinks hell yeah that's I love that vibe I love that just straight to it and so like we were just talking about the irony is i don't like sugar or sweetener or pumps in any of my drinks like this is an unsweetened iced coffee this is an unsweetened matcha latte like i am having grass just just like uh what is it what do you wield it what do you do that no but it tastes like it you know what is this what is this hand motion i'm doing grinding yeah you're grinding the matcha and you're just putting a splash of almond milk in there there's no sweetener in there it's unpumped and if anything i don't really like this smoothie because there's a little bit of like stevia in it I don't need I don't need a sweetener.

7:25I'm not a sweetener kind of bitch. No. But I give off, obviously, you know, giant American sugary drink vibe. I guess. I think all Americans give off that vibe, though, to be honest. You think so? Yeah. I don't think Dina gives off that vibe. That's fair. That's fair. Dina's like a no ice, no, you know, like very regimented vibe. She gives off like a like a hot, like a hot espresso vibe, maybe. Right. Very European. Yeah. She's European vibe. Maybe. So we don't like pumpkin spice lattes. I will say I witnessed Dina have a pumpkin spice latte in the airport last week. Wow, that's shocking, honestly.

8:02I know, actually. That's like really shocking. Yeah, and it was like really fun and she enjoyed it. Great. She got it from Starbucks. I made her get it. Well, I didn't make her get it. She was like super down. I was like, this is fun. That's fun. This is fun. That's like a fun whatever day that was for Dina. I know. It was really fun. Before we have to move on because our ketchup is just hanking right now, bud. you got anything got anything else but looney tunes no i only have like looney tunes tattoos there was something else we were talking okay well i do want to talk about scary movies because i can't so halloween movies what's your vibe i i like them i like the classics and but if it's new so i have this thing where you know i like re-watch the same stuff over and over and over because i i don't like surprises yeah i like to know what's happening yep and so if it's like something new that I haven't seen yet.

8:51It's a daytime watch number one lights on who watches things in the daytime. I used to, but now I can't. Yeah. But am I right? So I don't really watch a lot of new stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to watch that new it show on HBO and I watched the trailer and I was like, this is not a nighttime show for me. No, I don't think it's a nighttime show for anyone. I don't really get it. And I want to be like as unjudgmental as possible. Undead. mental dopamine dog it's all about dopamine or adrenaline i don't know whatever adrenaline i don't think it's dopamine i don't think we're releasing dopamine we're releasing adrenaline maybe people like that people like that that's their vibe let people vibe okay what about if it's just like bloody and gory but it's not really scaring you that i don't know this is like a primal thing that scares me this is like why men murder people because they're like into it you know what I mean I think people like like the super gory movies because they like to see like what you can do in movies that's terrifying with like effects I don't think that's why people watch it you don't think so no okay I don't want to judge that many people because I'm sure some people listening like absolutely the poor okay you know who I bet loves like movies like that I bet Dina loves a scary horror movie like that I don't Dina doesn't really watch movies that's true I I wonder actually if she would be down.

10:12Like, I think she'd be very factual about it. You know? Can you be done with maternity leave? And just like, come back? Yeah. We need the answers. Well, favorite Halloween movie, go. It's probably like House of a Thousand Corpses. I don't know what that is. It's like a Rob Zombie movie. Oh, because it's like horrifying? Yeah. I saw it as a child. Yeah. In the movie theaters. How old were you? I don't know. Whenever it came out. Okay. What was that? I don't know. I mean, you don't have to get it exactly right. He's looking it up. He's looking it up. No one's going to ask. 2003 so 16 okay it wasn't a child you were not a child it was scary but you were traumatized like a child i wasn't traumatized i was like holy shit okay you'll like that but the good part about it is that is when i was introduced to america's favorite walton goggins i don't know what any of this means walton goggins i don't know what it means from white lotus the new season oh yeah like that guy sure love that sure okay you're not gonna ask but my favorite halloween movie is Jennifer's body.

11:09Duh. Duh. I mean, it's pretty good. Oh, my God. Megan Fox eating a chicken, you know, and then there's like a dance, like the chicken scene, best scene in cinematic history. Okay. And then they go to like a dance. You know, it's like, it's great. There's a chicken scene and then they go to a dance. Yeah. You know, do you know what I'm talking about? I saw it one time. Okay. Like a long time ago. Well, I saw it many times. And that's it. But my story is actually a childhood story, which is when I was four. Or five, I watched Poltergeist with my older sister, and I have never recovered from the trauma.

11:45I think that might be why I don't really look into mirrors, to be honest with you. I thought maybe I was like, oh, maybe I have a body thing, or not dysmorphia, but just the thing where I don't really see myself. But maybe it's Poltergeist related. Could be. Because I really avoid myself in the mirror. Is it because I hate myself, or is it trauma from Poltergeist? I don't know. I feel like every person has a horror movie they saw when they were a kid. way too young that traumatized them and created like a new phobia for them for sure isn't yours leprechaun mine is leprechaun okay i do that with warwick davis yeah leprechaun yeah the movie yeah scarred me yeah scarred me yeah like i don't feel that i was not afraid of leprechauns till my 20s i'm not even playing no joke you're like at thest patrick's day party in third grade just terrified.

12:32I'm like, nope. Oh, man. I'm not fucking around here. dude. That movie traumatized me. Oh, yeah. No, I mean, Poltergeist literally in the word traumatized, like traumatized. I want to know what other people saw. Yeah, me too. Way too young. I know like Jaws is up there. I think like Halloween. Chucky? For sure. Chucky is terrifying. That was pretty early on for me. Even, this is so dumb. What's the one? What's the one? What do they look like? Furbies? Gremlins? Yeah, Gremlins scared the shit out of me. I think it does a lot of people. I think they consider that a horror movie Do they really? I think so Oh okay well that makes me feel better I'm like terrified No those scenes are hilarious Alright let's go into the episode I mean it's just like this But let's just segue Roll on into it Segway Peloton is shaping the future of fitness With the brand new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus Powered by Peloton IQ So listen I've been obsessed with Peloton Since the very first version came out Okay in 2020 A little pandy happened That's the pandemic.

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17:47No need to make a smoothie with messy, bad-tasting powders. You just pop the capsule and you're good for the day. These are research-backed formulas at fair prices, and the best part is they have 60 ,000 five-star reviews. I'm a reviews girly, okay? I'm going to just be honest. Vital Vitamins is offering our listeners 20 % off all orders with code BLF at myvitalvitamins.com. That's code BLF at myvitalvitamins.com. Okay, welcome to the first annual BLF Candy Draft. This is the only version of fantasy football I will ever participate in. Here are the rules. They have drafts and other things. I'm not going to participate in them I don't really even want to do this but I'm going to here are the rules we each pick five Halloween games is that okay there's other segments I'm more excited to get to but I'm starting with the one because it reminds me a little bit too much of football you know what I mean I'm going to like it it kind of reminds me too much of football so that gives me the ick here are the rules we each pick five halloween candies fantasy football style do you know what that means yeah just pick five candies okay once it's picked what else is there too i don't know because you don't play fantasy football neither do i so i just was making sure if you i don't know whoa dude i was just making sure you knew the rules but all right once it's picked it's off the board forever so you like can't pick what i picked Okay.

19:25All right. That's fine. All right. I'm going to go first. So my pick number one is Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Okay. It is elite. It is iconic. And if you disagree, you have trust issues. Yeah, I know. I do like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. But I was thinking about this before today's episode. Okay. You know what used to be really good and they fell off? Reese's Pumpkins. Well, too much. And people love them. Too much peanut butter. Exactly. The ratio. They used to have enough chocolate. Are you picking Reese's Pumpkins? No. Okay, well, what are we doing right now? I was just saying they used to be good, and now the ratio is just not there anymore.

19:59Okay, well, aligned on that. Exactly. What's your pick? Twix. Oh, shit. Big time Twix. Well, that's what I should have led with because it's the best one. The problem with Halloween ones is you only get one. You know what they should do is they should do two mini ones. You get one, but you get more, and then you just take all of the Twixes from the child who doesn't understand. You're just like, you won't like these guys. These ones are spicy. Not the older ones. Not the older ones. but yeah the younger ones i think he could you know pull a little spicy card this is the parent tax like we've done a lot and you know we get 20 i get my manager's cut oh that's twix okay so i have we should be writing these down right yeah we're no way gonna remember there's no you're in charge of writing it down because i'm leading the whole episode all right pause okay pause tyler's wearing socks with perkenstocks today it's a real fall vibe i am wearing the exact same socks because I have started to steal his socks because they are the best socks.

20:54And I am wearing them with clogs. We're just really, really pumpkin spice latte-ing vibe today. I got cold feet, man. Are you ready with your notes app? Ready. Okay, so I am going to go with Snickers. Okay, we got protein. What's the protein in Snickers? Everybody loves protein. I have no idea. Look it up. Crunch. Caramel. You know, next year they're going to have like like the foam on top, like a$15 foam that goes on top of a Snickers, kind of like Starbucks. What? For sure. For sure. A foam that goes on top of Snickers? Well, no. I mean, they're probably just going to have like an extra protein boost Snickers by next year.

21:39Because you said it? No, not because I said it, because that's like what everybody is doing right now. It's protein. Yeah. Everybody's doing protein. You've seen the Starbucks, the foam? You put it. Oh, OK. There's a foam at Starbucks now and it's$15. No, it's not$15. That's an exaggeration. it's a foam at Starbucks and you can put it on top and it gives you 15 grams of protein that's insane isn't it insane proper insane yeah and I really want to try it so that's what I'm saying is like buy next year for sure Snickers protein Snickers yeah and Reese's too probably okay so I'm picking Snickers I feel like we got the protein we got the crunch it's a full meal it's definitely just like it's like the safe choice it's like the cargo shorts of candy you You have everything you need.

22:18Pockets everywhere. Nope. Am I wrong? Write it down. That's why you wear cargo shorts all the time. Well, if I could, I would. It's not in my demographic. I wish I could. You can. You can do anything you want, girl. It's 2025. You're not wrong. Wear cargo shorts. If they made cargo leggings, I would. Damn. You guys taking notes out there? Should I invent that? Yeah. Well, they already have pockets. Just give them some thigh pockets, too. No, I'm saying you have leggings that have pockets, but they're like phone pockets. at the top. More pockets. More pockets. More pockets. More pockets. I love that.

22:51Yeah. Because when you're working out, you're not going to fill all the pockets, obviously. But then, once you leave your workout, and you're just walking around, you could put a car key in there. Pacifiers. Pacifier. Butt wipes. That's a little bit aggressive, but sure. But just, you know, there's so many little, like, you got your chapstick. Just the necessities. I like that. Cargo leggings. Does anybody have a... What would this be? Kirkland. I'll carry those. Kirkland, would you like to... Would you like to do a collab? Costco. A BLF times Costco. Oh my god. Wait. I would love nothing more than this moment.

23:34Nike collabs with Costco. No. Did you see those shoes? Nah. We gotta go Kirkland brand. I don't want to collab with Nike. Kirkland is the Costco brand, by the way. Okay. That's fine. But also like sweatpants, I guess. Cargo sweatpants? No, just I also want to make sweatpants with Kirkland. Let's stick with one item at a time. Let's stick with cargo leggings. Very practical. Should we? Okay, go. Speak. You Americans, you always like your... With your sugary drinks. You always like your pockets full. You love your full pockets. My pockets. And your accessible pockets. You Americans.

24:10I'm going to create my own line of sugary drinks and pocketed pants for Kirkland. Just to spite that one. Their only size XXL and up. Hell yeah. Okay. All right. All right. Next. All right. It's my turn. I'm going to upset some people and I'm going to really like thrill some people right now. Don't say it. Don't say it. Milky Way, baby. Oh, that's not what I thought you were going to say. That's fine. I love a Milky Way. That's fine. I love it. Okay. It's basically a peanut free Snickers. That's all it is. I hate a Milky Way. It's disgusting. Well, that's. Wow. Gross. It's the wrong choice. Just throw a peanut on top of that.

24:43Jesus. Very different. very different oh i've got my next one there's no texture oh i've got my next one already where are we at three and three we're two and two right now so you need number three we really gotta move faster this is gonna be the entire episode we gotta go a lot faster what are we doing okay fine um pick number four three yeah there you go pick number three skittles skittles skittles done because sensory overload is my brand i just want all the colors i want all the flavors and I want them all at the same time. I get that. You know, you probably I was going to say like some people, but like you definitely like separate colors.

25:20Yeah. No, I just want to like throw a bunch in my mouth and just feel that. Just like feel something. Yeah. Throw all the Skittles in my mouth and just like let go. Talk about dopamine. Next. I like to say like separate them, but I like to like pick my flavor strategically. Yeah. I know you do. To make combos. I like combos. I know. Okay. We all know. Literally, we're like, we're going to keep this episode on the rails. Yeah. Nope. Nope. Adjacent. Rails adjacent. There's no rails. My. Rails have been blown off. Go ahead. My next pick. Okay. Is mounds. Ew, dude. Dude, I love mounds. Oh, my God.

26:00When I was a child, I was like, what is this? What is this? Because it's disgusting. But now I'm like, this is heaven. Oh, are you just old now? I'm old. Is it going to hit me soon? I probably not. Maybe I should. because you'll be young forever. But mounds, man, you got chocolate. You got coconut. God, dude. And one singular almond. Whoa. But I like to eat the almond separately. Should I start looking for like a memory care center? Probably. Like is that? Okay. Wow. I love it. But yeah, you have to be pretty old to like those. Really old though. I love them. I think like you're going into butterscotch territory once you're going into mounds.

26:39You're starting. You're approaching. Number four. What do we got? I'm going to go with, this is the last one, right? You said five, but we can stick with four. Okay, let's stick with four because we're just, no. I'm going with Kit Kat. See, I don't trust you on this one. I don't think this is what you want. I don't think this is what you want because I know what your favorite is and you haven't said it. What? Because you're afraid to be judged. My favorite is, first of all, Twix, and then I only like chocolate, so I don't know what you're referring to. Is there a different chocolate one that I'm missing?

27:10You love, and first of all, you pick Skittles. but you yeah well that's just for the chaos of it all you love dots i like dots yes and you find that horrifying but that's not i don't she loves them dots could have been my number five you're right about that i think dots could be a number five i do love a dot that's like i love a dot that's bucket filler okay like what's a bucket filler bucket filler is like you just put it in the bowl to like to fluff to get rid of it to get rid of it no it's just a that's what yours is what What is it? Almond Joy? Is it called Almond Joy or Mounds? Which one's the blue one?

27:43It's the blue one. It's Almond Joy, right? Yeah, it's Almond Joy. Mounds is the dark chocolate one. Yeah, it's Almond Joy. Just pick your last one. You've got to be instinctual. I can't even think of another candy. You've got to be instinctual. I literally can't think of another candy. You have to. I don't do well on the spot. You're doing so great right now. I'm going to look around the room for a candy to pick. Look around the room. Look around the room. Oh, man. Come on. What's in a vending machine that I can think of? What's in a candy bowl at Halloween that you just like toss aside? No. She was free.

28:15No. I know one for you. I know one for you. What? Airheads. You love an airhead. You eat them like at night on a normal night. I love airheads. You love an airhead. They're hard to find. Yeah. You can only get like a five pack, which like sounds, you Americans, you're not satisfied by your five packs of airheads. You need a 30 pack. And like, yeah, I do need a 30 pack of airheads. It is a Tuesday night. I'm tired. I need 30 airheads right now. Don't judge me. Don't give me your European judgment. I'm laughing because he literally will eat 30 airheads. I would. If I could get them, I would. No, you do.

28:57You have airheads. They're at the top of our pantry every night. So those are like little singular airhead bites. And they're not good. They don't taste like airheads. They're not good. Airheads. Okay. Done. We got to move on. If anybody wants to weigh in on who won, that's how we're supposed to judge this competition of whose team won. So send us a DM or I don't know, leave a review, I guess, but only a five-star review. Only five-star. But then tell us who won the candy wars. We really do want to know who won the candy wars. Can you recap it really quick? Like five seconds. Okay. Kristen chose Reese's Buttercups.

29:31Not the pieces. Oh. Too late. Keep going. Too late. Snickers, Skittles, and who was your last one? Kit Kat. Kit Kat. I fucking won, dude. God, I destroyed you. Sucks to lose. And I, Tyler, picked Twix, Milky Way, Almond Joy, not Mounds. Nope. Almond Joy. Yep. And Airheads. Okay, I mean, that's actually pretty strong. It's pretty elite. It's pretty strong. We gotta move on. Yes. Segment number two. Everything our kids ever wanted to be for Halloween. Oh, okay. We don't have enough time, but go ahead. What do you mean? Because there's 2 ,000 things that our children have wanted to be for Halloween.

30:08I loved number one, Lavender Fairy. Obviously. Because I also was a Lavender Fairy. Yes. And it was just so goddamn adorable. So last year, Tyler dressed up with our middle child as a Lavender Fairy. And you got Lavender Sweats. Lavender Sweats. And you can turn your phone off right now. I was updating the list. We don't need the list anymore. We're done. And it was the cutest thing in the world. Lavender Crocs? You know what was the cutest part about it? What? Well, A, the lavender crocs. But the other cutest part about it was B, you got her matching lavender crocs. But C, the cutest part about it.