Britain's Undefeated Bouncer - Marcus Portman Tells His Story

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2:05And boom we're on And today's guest We've got Marcus Portman Marcus how are we? I'm good thank you very much Thanks for having me on man Thanks for coming on Boxer Had your demons Battles Ups and downs I think like the majority Of people now I think the majority Of people now Speaking More openly and freely As men Nobody really knows how We really battle Like we Our minds are pretty fucked I can speak to myself in that way, but it's like a minefield, you know, you'll have five minutes of good times and then you've got 23 hours, 55 minutes of kind of messy. I agree with that. I totally agree with that, mate.

2:37Yeah. Before we get into all the madness, so I always like to go back to the start with my guests, get more of a bit of understanding about you, where you grew up and how it all began. Yep. Okay. Yeah. I grew up in a town called West Bromwich brought by, you know, Wolfampton and, you know, it was kind of like tricky. trying to divert from different kind of gangs and stuff like that where i didn't fully um escape from so whilst i was trying to become an athlete as a boxer you know my love of the sport um it was hard to you know what not avoid the uh the street crime and all you know the gangs and stuff like that so it was tough it was happening you know in the mid 80s it was quite thriving at the minute with gangs and stuff so how was family life family life well it was a rastafarian family so we were we stood out in front of the crowd every single one of us had long dreadlocks um yeah i had long dreadlocks yeah i had to cut them off for my first amateur fight and it was a you know my dad weren't happy but um but yeah it's uh we stood out and it was my dad was always getting into crappy you know i mean he was uh crime uh fighting just the police was always out of door basically and giving you know just kicking the door off and doing things like that how were you at school they really was terrible at learning had no concentration um i left before my exams just at ccses and um i said to my uh teacher i said you haven't got my subjects at school and he said what's that i said that's boxing you haven't got it and i left i left early uh yeah so did your dad box my dad was a national champion key boxer uh my brother boxed as well but he had two fights he didn't like it so yeah what's your dad say to that it was good it was good he wanted us both to do it because he was just he was just that was his life always watching we never watched cartoons on the on the telly we always watch things like Bruce Lee and um stuff you know it was all sports and um fighting so it wasn't that was all it was about the movies now are shit I grew up with um commando and kickboxer and AWOL and that's it yeah I grew up with Rocky like when you watch those movies you wanted to either fight or go out and train yeah nowadays it's all fucking sissy shit you know there's no fan dams yeah yeah and I loved his movies like that's what my dad used to make us watch he's fucking sitting drunk when we were watching kickboxer you know like no one ended up fucked yeah but so family life was your dad was a tough upbringing very masculine man because of what how he looked um in the 80s being a big six foot three rastafarian he got a lot of stick but he had to be you know a strong kind of physical person and and you know just avoid being um you know abused and stuff like that uh racist abuse or by the police.

5:34The police was always at our door and trying to, you know, exploit him. How bad was the racism there? Because the 60s, 70s, you had the National Front, which was fucking hell, hating blacks and everybody. Yeah. There's still racism about. I don't give a fuck what anybody says, but it's more behind closed doors now. It's more social media digs. Yeah. Too many pussies now to say anything bad to your face. You don't see it on the streets. Everybody's pretty sound. Social media will make you think the world is a bad place. it's pretty sound man majority of people are sound but oh yeah 60s 70s 80s did that kind of mold your dad to being the tough man that he is he did i mean he's just say as you say it's different now um that was in your face more um somebody who had a problem didn't like the way he looked they would tell you whether my dad was six foot three or what um he just got into altercations all the time especially the police was terrible i mean my dad used to um cause crime you know he used to steal no just to put food on our tables i never ever um you know i regret him doing that i look down at him because back then he couldn't get a normal job because of the way he looked and he just had to do whatever he took and police when he did get arrested he's come back sometimes with black eyes and stuff like cuts because the police would just go to town him yeah i had melvin downs on he was scs black guy on tuesday yeah he was the same but his dad would say don't run Because he always got chased from school But he used to have to bang the doors Yeah And his dad had enough And just told him Go back and fight Do what you can Bite, punch, pull Do whatever the fuck you can Yeah And ended up doing it But I think that's what then moulds him Because it must leave scars Mentally No matter what It has any sort of bullying Any sort of teasing Because he didn't understand He's only 6, 7 He doesn't understand Skin colour You know So But he ended up one of the best In the SES There you go Fucking legend man Great story as well Yeah Do you feel as if it does affect you though?

7:25do you think that could be a part of the issues that you had growing up um not really not myself personally but i know it affects my dad and i just i had less of it when my my upbringing it was kind of been all right like so i just um felt sorry for my dad at times and i know he's affected him um down the long run long run and um it just but i just have to stay strong in general and not kind of take that path yeah what happened after school um i went straight in i turned professional I mean after since I turned senior 17 years old I turned professional boxing um many amateur fights I had a 104 amateur fights got into the had a good amateur record at 17 yeah I'd boxed for the NABC's ABAs um got picked for England when it was uh in Crystal Palace and then um then the day since I got picked for Crystal Palace they ran out ran out of funds and I had two years they discontinued that scholarship and then they went to, I think it was where he's now.

8:23So yeah. Yeah, I was good at that. I never went to Christopher Ellis, to the England squad. Who was there at the time? There was quite a good team there. There was Martin Conception. English have always had good boxers. Yeah. Always. I don't know. I don't know what the state of boxing is now. I'm kind of confused with it, if I'm honest, with like Saudi and I was at the Tyson Fury and Yusik fighting. There's just no atmosphere, bro. There's no, you're right there. No, man. as much as people can slag the British for drinking and being rowdy, when you go to these events, you feel the passion, you feel something.

8:56It's good for people to make their money because boxing's a very short-lived career but I hope it doesn't kill it, you know, because it's becoming more WWE. You know, and I think what happened to the fucking Nigel Benz and Chris Eubanks and Steve Collins, Prince Nazeem you know, we've missed the era before them where and Muhammad Ali's are just fighting everybody and anybody. Yeah. Like it's changed now. It's all money. Tyson Fury and AJ should have fought five years ago, six years ago. They're all demanding two big purses now so they're not, they're saying that the fight's happening but they're really not.

9:29Nobody cares. It's, yeah, they're demanding too much purses and now there's only no one fighting each other now in the heavyweight scene. So why did you go professional so young? It's my trainer turned professional at the same time because he was my trainer for six years. I had a hell of a lot of fights with amateur with him because I was first at another gym and then he turned my first door he took two three spot fights with us myself young muttley he was a former british champion and jimmy gore he was an ava champion so he took the three best ones at the gym and turned us over and you know I was 18 young but I knew I was ready to step into the senior ranks what was your first pro fight like it was no head guards next day it was my jaw was hurting there's things hurting on my body what didn't exist before whiplash on my neck because of the no head guards stuff like that so yeah well I enjoyed it I won my first one so yeah it was a good good changeover when did you come out against Willie Limond god rest his soul god rest his soul yeah crazy bastard but loved Willie to bits I sound a bit gay there but he was just a fucking great guy a genuine mad bastard loved him but sad to see him go so young yeah and so I did I should have beat him as well I was away in Glasgow and we was on points and I boxed that off for about 4 rounds it was about 4-2 the rounds was but every time he hit me the crowd would went wild because he had his hometown supporters but my trainer said to this day rest in peace but I should have got that I should have got a nod.

11:06Was that the second fight or something? Yeah, it was early on in my career. And honestly, I should have got the nod. But you know what? I'll leave that alone. It is what it is because of circumstances. So he's a great fighter. But he was 9-0. He went to Mexico and that. Just a mad bastard. Just a typical scorer. Great fighter as well. Really good fighter. Oh, yeah. And it was sad to see him go so young because we always had battle flots from time to time. We would not speak for about six months. Really? It would pop up, man. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast.

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12:31You sadistic pig! This show gives me a reason to laugh. It would always be the same energy. Yeah. You know? So what happened with the career then? You're kind of digging through it. You've had a couple of losses the first time. The losses, Matthew Hatton. I thought my first guy bill that was, it was in the NMEN, and the Bright Lights, it was, what was the use of seeing on TV? It hit home, like the pressure, when Ricky Allen was fighting, it was another venue, another kind of atmosphere, so I got a bit nervous for that I was winning the first three rounds and then he kind of cut the ring off and stopped me but he ended up being European champion himself so yeah he was a tough bastard he was and again sad to see Ricky go so young man like an absolute legend interviewed Ricky maybe three years ago did you great interview great guy made us feel very welcome and every time I seen him yeah and it's sad to see the mind go but it happens to so many boxers as well absolutely I just ran a full marathon in memory of Rickett as well I ran the marathon with the Manchester City top on even though I'm a Liverpool fan I put the Man City top on and in memory of Rickett and I've done the Chester marathon so yeah so many pats on the back on the way around saying you know fair play to you for these cores and stuff and the awareness and yeah it was a shame because you're looking in good shape man you're looking what 45 now yeah yeah you're looking fucking lean Yeah, probably about 12, super middle white at the minute.

14:02I'm trying to... That's what you wear anyway, no? Yeah, middle white, yeah. But I'm not far off, probably eight pound of my white before, which is quite usual for retired fighters. Yeah. Yeah, anybody in their 40s. I'm still trying to get in there, that's why. I want one of these big fights on parties. So did you feel the difference then with the hat and feet, that the pressure, the big lights, the cameras, did you feel the change? Yeah, but it kind of like conditioned me to know what to expect the next time. Because it was all, I was like a filter fight where me and Matthew Hatwin was, Ricky was obviously top of the bill and it was, you know, the Sky Sports team was coming in saying, are you ready?

14:40No, then we're not on. Then we're ready. He's like kind of, and then Portman you're in, it was really uneasy. Like I wasn't used to that. Did you get anxiety before feats? Always nervous. Yeah. Always just the pressure of losing. Not, not, and then I started to, channel the, the, uh, the feeling of winning before it was at the start of my career, it was the fear of losing. And then you have to engineer your thoughts to, you have to, you know, what just care about the, the highest of winning. The fear of losing. Is that more disappointment for yourself or because of your dad? For dad and other people and your fans.

15:17I think a lot of followers will tell you that as well. It's a, they don't disappoint the fans and people who believe in you. Yeah. So what happened after the Hatton fight? um i went in there with scott dixon super scott dixon former commonwealth champion and yeah everton uh sports center and i outpointed him so that was a good win and that kind of cataported me to um to get the british title shot which uh i was winning the british title fighting shot until i got cut in the first uh the first round i got cut went six rounds sky sports had me in front but they pulled me out for the cut was so bad so i couldn't um continue head clash head clash first round say porn orthodox typical um went both went down for a body shot and then uh yeah just it was nasty how was that feeling um it was just awkward you always see fighters on tv going through cuts and you know what that kid carried on but this cut was literally seeping in my eye and the court and the um medical doctor was in every single round in the corner and i knew i was on borrowed time so mentally thinking you got one more round in you um and adopted and he was i went to about six or seven and they stopped it um then i fought for the commonwealth title against bradley price from the calzaga camp that was a it was one of the biggest punches i fought i must say was it yeah heavy-handed even the first job i knew it was different the pettie's power was different what's it like when you get a loss like how does the mind go can you sink it into depression even yeah the start of a career yeah because honestly the people around you like they your sponsorships and stuff like that they they talk to you less they end up you know your friends change like you're not that you're not the the prospect the champion anymore that the questioning way how far you're going to go in the sport and then you have to literally go and stay in your own line and and no keep sticking to the plan and nathaniel collins is a good friend of mine he just drew there he's going to be world champion but yeah even after he should have won the fight he knows this himself he got caught up in a couple of rounds where they were just swinging at each other and i think that will only prepare prepare him for his next fight because it's it's educational in it it's yeah it's experience and he could have boxed the head off him but he drew but it felt even his interviews it felt as if it was a loss he just looked deflated many of my wins i felt like a lost honestly that's how it feels i don't know why it happens we just always be critical and no we took too many shots and um yeah i felt the same way myself did you yeah were you boozing or that then partying i used to go out now and again um on a weekend or you know it was kind of like the norm for um you know for fighters at that generation because where i was from there was no people taking it a full-time pro where there was you know sponsorship and all everything's thrown at him i literally had to do bits of work um and then and fight as well so um yeah it was never i was this i was 90 dedicated put it that way what happened after the european title um i was done i then fought for the world wbf but before that wbf title i got picked up for a few offenses um i picked up a car what was actually stolen and um i went into the police station and reported the car stolen and then the police said well whilst you're here marcus you got a warrant out for your arrest and then i got locked up for that and i'll end up in winston green i just signed a contract with ken purchase and richie woodall richie woodall just turning uh you know set up a gym in the assailant center he had don broder's he had jamie cox had some good fighters there and i just signed for him and i got sent to prison two weeks after um then i came out got that world wbf title shot um i was jogging around the courtyard in that uh in wenson green so it was 23 hours back bang up and i was jogging around the courtyard and people's looking at me thinking what's he doing like it's no that's not normal but i knew i had a fight coming out there so and i did the world title what was immediate in day was yeah i think espresso stark approached me um i was actually on tag as well for two weeks and he didn't go down too well but um i thought you know what he gave me a bit more fire in my belly to turn it around and and be successful and i ended up uh stopping a guy matulski who would defend his title seven times what was that feeling like brilliant it's best feeling of it i've had yeah best feeling i've had and boxing or your life in in the box in boxing close to in life yeah yeah what is that then when you feel as if you've achieved something all that hard work all those rounds all those bloody noses sore heads down yeah insecurities paranoia like what is that feeling then when you've got that little bit of bliss that you've achieved something it's just uh yeah all the hard work that you've you know you've caught buses to the amnesia gym when you when you're 10 years old you've got two buses to get to the gym you've just you know dedicated your whole life but you want some some fighters all right just getting in there and and just knowing that they've fought on a bill i was always told it's not it's what you deal with it, what you're, you're, um, how you, how you succeed in the, in the moment.

20:46And I had something to show for it. I said, I had a belt, I had two belts. I won English title and I won the, the world title. So, so at least when you came out, did you? Yeah. Yeah. So it's, um, that, you know, what he was, the prison sentence was a blessing to, in some ways, because it gave me more fire and ability to win that world title. What do you think of when you're in prison? Did you think that was over? I knew it was temporary. I knew it was temporary because I was on remand. But then again, it could be the charge I was in for was witness intimidation. So I knew it was the maximum sentence for that was about eight, nine years, witness intimidation.

21:24So don't get me wrong, I was weary of the girl turning up to court. She ended up not turning up to court. So I sent somebody around there on there to a house and yeah to drop the charges so yeah And then you won the title? And then I won the title yeah and then I defended it after that as well so against the same guy Was that in the clause the rematch? It was in yeah they paid me double the money to because I stopped him from a cut they were saying that he was coming on stronger in the later rounds so they would have had me so I had a return fight with him and I beat him over 12 rounds every single round shut out What was the best one?

22:01Best victory over him? first or second the second one because i've done 12 rounds i'd completed 12 three minute rounds stuff you see on tv i'm like how the hell did i do that and i end up doing that so yeah how old were you then i was about 28 yeah 28. and what happens after that i'd fought for the uh james i fought jeremy cox uh which is my last fight i'd had a couple couple of um you know normal six rounders. But the last big one was in the auto arena where James DeGale and George Groves. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work?

22:44It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans. And we're back. Streaming on Peacock. May I present to you the award-winning staff of the Toledo Truth Teller. Slap me. Let's draw something loose. Ay, yes! I like that. The certified fresh series returns. Your boss. You always like this, or is this just an act? Oh no, this is mad.

23:22oysters everybody there's a certain satisfaction when you work with someone maybe we could be a family you sadistic pig the paper new season streaming september 9th only on peacock this show gives me a reason to laugh was uh was top of the bill and i fought jamie cox which former conworld champion as well and he stopped me but he was a hell of a hell of a fighter so did you get quit after that retire i retired yeah i knew that there was uh early 30s yeah just i didn't I still lost the hunger of the sport. I just was sick of dropping my bag on the same floor in the same gym. And I knew it was just, my speed was going a little bit.

24:01So yeah, I knew it was time to stop. Fast forward 15 years of trying to fight again. Yeah, it's not that. You do think your early 30s that you're done, you're fucked in this. You've done it so long. Yeah, yeah. But I think that's probably just because you have done it so long. Do you think it can be a hindrance that you actually start boxing so young? because a lot of boxers start 15, 16 and end up becoming on to be greats as well. Yeah, I mean I started when I was 9, 10 so it was even longer so it was I couldn't physically do it anymore like it just burnt me out but maybe a year off would have been okay and I should have gone back but whilst I had that year off other things I took another path which was steroids and stuff like that and going on stage to do the bodybuilding yeah.

24:46But the Groves and the Gale they were two great fighters the Gales now doing bare knuckle i watched his bare knuckle it's just that bare knuckle is brutal it is i don't understand that like i think wow like you've got to be a different level of tapped to do that yeah like that is barbaric i have thought about it too fast barbaric i have thought thought about it um but what is that then do you question your sanity not with me personally it's another discipline of sport because i've been a national champion kickboxer i've been a world champion boxer i've done marathons there's one more missing one discipline missing and i don't know what it is but i think it might be that yeah no i still watch it yeah i don't think it's a good idea yeah i still watch it but i just you looked at what's his name what's the little american boxer imagine i don't know um malinagi yeah you've just seen his face there you know he's took he's been out the game for about 10 years and it's just barbaric what they do to each other their knuckles, their face like boxing, 8 ounce clubs are still it still does damage but when it's bare knuckle you think wow but there's big money in it and people are getting old retirements out I just don't like to see people coming out of retirement and doing that because street fighting, bare knuckle fighting again I've never done bare knuckle fighting but people tell me it's totally different but you this boxing skills must help but it's it's not really it's a level playing field for people who've had more street fights well yeah i'd say so it's more you got more hunger in you and you're on the front foot a bit more it's a bit more um educated at the boxing i don't think it relates to it that much i mean poorly man and rg he boxed really well but look how many shots he took his face was an absolute mess and so that's the defensive fighter going in there and that's different and looking like that so what's a a forward fighter gonna look like that's why it's of changed my mind looking at Paulie Manage to be honest because I've had the same kind of style as Paulie poorly um weren't a big puncher but you know I knew how to move but still you come out looking like that I don't know because you had three knockouts or something yeah it was I was I could punch harder what what people's my record suggests but I was taught as a backward foot fighter that's it my trainer wanted me to fight so um you know make a miss making pay kind of I think so.

27:04So you become world champion, you've defended that you've retired young. Yeah. And that's when the clouds come over. That's when the fucking madness starts. Yeah. It was the steroids was the beginning. Um, what made you take the juice? Just look, I looked at other people. Um, my friends was big guys for years, but I stuck to the boxing button. As soon as I knew what I was gonna do when I, when I retired, I knew I was going to go on the juice and then since I took my first course of Decker and Sust as it always is um that's the usual yeah a few D bowls uh nat 50s um I just looked I was like wow I just it just sued me like I just grew I must put three stone on of a lean quality muscle and I just that that was the path I wanted to go down I felt stronger um I just felt more confident in general um my clothes are tired everything about that that time was just i felt invincible is that the testosterone do you think that's that though yeah and just the way i looked i looked you know i'm probably a faster on everything while i am now so i was a i felt unit did you have body dysmorphia um not in between the the bodybuilding yeah you never felt like you you was big enough and that's with most bodybuilders you never feel like you're big enough, you're always chasing another inch on your arms So what are you doing then you feel like just, how was the anger how was the mindset?

28:34My street fighting life went up because I worked at Dawes as well, I worked at Dawes since I was 18 years old so whilst I was boxing I had a weekend job working at Dawes pretty rough place and I worked with some of the top names around my area Decker Williams, Jesse Abrams the nine girl brothers there was all hard men and I was putting it on that door from 18 um and I carried the doors on the steroids kind of like matched with the uh being on the door so I got into way you know way more fights um street fights being on the juice do you think it was like a license to fight by being on the doors and you could take it out and people yeah it's always it was always a range part so I'd if I fall out with somebody I'd say meet me after you know the proper way meet me at the end of the night we're going we're going to the cobble somewhere or we go on the grass i met plenty of dorm other doorman when we're in my area we mean other dorm have met up and we've done it proper i was showing the lights on on a on a car park and i said we've done it and they would show up and feed you yeah they show up yeah would they again brass that's button yeah they know your background they did but they've got backgrounds themselves you know right there they think i think they have and then um you know what it's just, no, Tom talked that out.

29:51You look back at it, you think, what was he doing? But it's all part of a, Dorn men were a different breed then. I always mention my dad, he worked in Victoria's and they used to go to a place called Marco's, but it was like Mr. Scotland's. They were all just stuck. My dad wasn't, but the, the, the beatings that Bouncers used to give you back then. You never had your little card. You wasn't, you know, health and safety. It was like, you step out of line, you're getting your job. That's how it was. That's how it was, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it's, and then whilst steroids took over and one thing led to another i started drinking more every day they'll start taking taking cocaine regular first it was on the weekend then it started to be every day and then it just started to spoil way out of control and my addiction got crazy yeah what door did you work on it was called uh the precinct nickelbiz first in west brom and then it was all warsaw varsity um hogshead um pommies bar places where you didn't need a badge but i was allowed every single place i worked at i was allowed to drink free drinks and that was probably the the remedy for disaster how many feats would you get into and eat um probably at least once a week on on a three day on a three day weekend um it probably once at least once did ever get backlash because a lot of the kids are game who get through out come back with guns and machetes was there any complaints coming was there any revenge attacks yeah a few times that they've come back with a few machetes or whatnot never guns but machetes or noise but we've kind of dealt with it and um you know barricade ourselves in or whatnot we've done something to disengage that situation but yeah it was always for the right reasons i've never for the wrong reasons yeah not taking liberties no no absolutely not but alcohol does change people yeah like it totally changes people and everybody's shouting i'm going to come back and shoot you and 99.9 percent it doesn't happen but you always get that very small percentage of someone who oh yeah you know what he's getting it and it's the ones you don't expect it from it it really is yeah what's the biggest fight you were in on the doors it was in a range with another doorman i'd gone into i'd have a night off and um i'd gone to his their bar which was called ws1 dormant there was a big firm bridge gate security um and one of my drinks took off the table and i complained to the uh bar lady and she says no it was you you're the one who took it so the dormant's tried to pick me up off the floor he tried to pick me up and try to carry me out because i wasn't moving i says okay then i said you know what i'm i wet the doors around the corner as well i said no it goes i said me and you're gonna me you're gonna have to see each other at the end of the night i thought you're gonna say you know what whatever we ended up meeting on on the car park all his dorm dormant was there there's about seven or eight of them even brought his missus to watch him he was that confident and then um i brought one of my mates that was he i got there early and i jogged around it was freezing cold i jog around the the the uh the grass around the football pitch i'll be jogging around there 15 minutes just to get warm um and we're trying to warm my hands up and then he's just got out the car he says give through the through his coaches me says hold that bar i'll move back in a minute but he would never come back he was he was on the floor for a look yeah i kind of uh he put he was kind of trading a bit too wise so i punched down then central kind of beat him to the punch.

33:24So we usually were arranging fights with other doormen. Yeah, yeah. I've never heard of that. You've got post-codes wars, but now you've got door wars. Oh, yeah, yeah. Was that ego then? What was that? That door, the door of a war, so they was a big ego. They thought they was the men and I didn't really like any other doormen. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers. Give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports.

34:03Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans. And we're back. Streaming on Peacock. May I present to you the award-winning staff of the Toledo Truth Teller. Slap me. Let's draw something loose. Yes! I like that. The Certified Fresh Series returns. Your boss You always like this Or is this just Oh no This isn't it Oysters everybody There's a certain Satisfaction When you work with someone Maybe we could be a family You sadistic pig The Paper New season streaming September 9th Only on Peacock This show gives me A reason to live I don't know why It's normally All for each other So they get around Who you were And you become a target Yeah Well Yeah After that It was I wanted to be a target after that.

34:53After that was, uh, they all respected me that WS one, but they all thought that was invincible because there was all, there was like 15 of them working for Bridgegate on that, um, on that strip. How many on the doors were few? Um, it was probably one or two, but my, the person who employed me was personal. So it wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't for a year. I was just, I had no badge. I think I had a 10-1 back then. just put like a card about you a musk card put in your pocket yeah yeah yeah so that yeah I was just freelance and I weren't you know I was just a bit of a lad that was it to them so seeing when you start winning do you then become enemy public enemy number one do you then become the one who everybody wants to beat yeah kind of ran yeah there was a few others though so but you know I was one of the targets ran there did you ever lose any I never lost any I drew one street fight about 70 and what was that fight like it was a big strong guy he was a big strong guy and he kind of like disengaged he had my number basically whatever I was trying to do he was yeah he was he was physical he was physical but the police kind of split it up quite quick so how long are these fights lasting?

36:06are they like bare knuckle fights gypsy style or traveller style because obviously fights in the street nightclubs 30 seconds people aren't fat enough they're blowing their ass they just don't want anymore. What are these fights like? These are long as it goes. These are long as it goes. A lot of them didn't go that far because they weren't conditioned too much. I was always the athlete more and they was normally the person who just goes, lifts a few weights every - They're strong, but they can't fight. Exactly. Yeah. So you, it doesn't matter if you're fat or not, you could have just put your hands up, your guard up, let them throw punches for 30 seconds, one minute, and then picked them apart.

36:42exactly that way yeah so you had about 70 had about 70 probably drew one um and that and i started to get the buzz for didn't want to go out and do it but it just felt good because i was not known as a non-punter in the ring but out here i'm doing all this damage i'm like how's this working out and i kind of like liked it but then again it's steroids and which i'm totally against now was that you trying to get your facts from the boxing hey yeah it was replacing the eyes as well and replacing being an athlete in another discipline. So it was basically every week you were having a scrap with other bouncers.

37:18What about people in the nightclubs? It was quite rare, really. It was quite rare. One bar called Pommies Bar, which was kind of like a rough bar, I worked on last. That was more because there were more people on coke there. So it was quite regular then. But yeah, I'm totally against steroids and that now. even though I'm saying I took him I'm anti-steroids now yeah fair play listen we'll go through stages of my life but it feels normal you know so you did you make any money from these fights no it weren't it weren't even nothing like that it was just for the for the no but the other one couldn't tell it all over it just threw you know what someone's trying to dick measure and all that yeah yeah exactly yeah so you never made any money from it but would you never would nobody ever pull you aside and say listen we can make a few quid yeah after yeah after towards the end they did but i never really got into it in you know as i should have done really what about the bodybuilding stuff then so you end up putting on three four stone what sort of competitions the gender i've done the pca first timers and the masters which i got into six percent body fat i should have come first but i got second place which i know there's politics and that but um you know what it was a still a good achievement um it was a it was a good real the road to doing that it was different to boxing because all the nutrition diet was it weren't to lose weight it was food based not through um training so you'd have to adjust your food to get down to that body weight so it was tough it was really tough what was your eating like what was your diet plan like my diet plan uh i'd had a nutritionist towards the end i tried to do it myself at first but um i got a proper dietitian in and um i was eating steak and eggs in the morning you know it was it was crazy uh i was eating a lot of food but believe it or not how many calories um it's about 2500 calories towards the end was probably about 1500 yeah what was it like when you started the kind of crash to try and cut it was horrible you turned to someone i turned to someone i didn't really like um the anxiety was awful as well because i was taking loads of pre-work because i had no energy from training i was taking pre-work aids for fun and it just gave me totally really bad anxiety so um i struggled with that were you drinking and taking gear snuffing gear at this time probably three weeks late before the show i still was yeah why is that it was I was drinking vodka and vodka and water where it wasn't really putting any calories on me so I thought I could get away with it and then I I said to someone I'm going to stop 12 weeks out but I stopped 3 weeks out before the show yeah that's how bad my addiction was how was it not then you must have been fucking losing your mind then with the juice the gear the booze the coming down the way I was terrible yeah but I got on stage I still got placed second so what caught was harder or boxing or bodybuilding bodybuilding by far because you can you can run eight mile nine mile to drop the weight or go in a sauna with a boxing with that it's food food or based so how much gear were you sniffing um my at my peak it was probably about 300 pound a day and if i had 500 or 600 i'd spend that so you were sniffing over there yeah and because i'd buy for everybody else yeah i Mines was at the weekend, Friday Monday.

40:51There was a weed during the week, Valium. You know, I couldn't fucking sniff every day, man. It was after two days, the nose dries up. Yeah, yeah. You don't even sniff anything up. But so you ended up on it every day? Every day, because I lived above a pub, because the pub, what I'd done the door at, my mate got me a flat there. He said, you live here and you look after the pub, basically be the muscle of the pub. And to me, it was a good idea at the time. but it just I'd drink on standby all the time I could just go walk down stairs and then just get what I wanted what were you drinking top shelf all the time uh vodka brandy just yeah spirits no never like beer and there but yeah 300 pound a day was minimum if I had a thousand pound I'd just say to my mates come you know come to my house and then we were all right we sorted I spent a whole lot did you know you had a problem did you know you had a problem Yeah, but I just didn't care.

41:48I didn't care at the time. At the time I had no misses and I didn't really, at the peak of my addiction, I didn't really have any responsibilities. Purpose, isn't it? Yeah. What happens when you second in a competition then? Did you not feel anything? Yeah, it was an amazing achievement, but I thought that was the last chapter and that's when my addiction got out of control. because I thought that's it, I've got no purpose now. I'm, the sports are all going to be, you know, gone. Um, you know, I've got nothing else to, to replace the high with. How bad was that? My addiction. Yeah. Yeah, it was really bad.

42:26Um, I was literally hiding, you know, towards the end, I was going to get cider-a-cider and I was isolated, addict towards the end. I didn't like, I couldn't speak to no one. The anxiety, just my depression. I was just wanting to lock myself in the room and just, you know what, just literally near connect the devil. That's how bad it was. I felt like the devil was creeping into me. It was a horrible sensation when my addiction got totally that bad. Is that the shame and the guilt not to want to see anybody? Yeah. I was paranoid bad. I was typical curtain switching all the time. Yeah, it was crazy.

43:07Were you off the juice at this time? I was still on the juice. Still on the juice. the three devils that's what i was doing you still training after all this you know all the addiction i've suffered i still went to the gym nearly every day because the gym was on site in the in the pub so i still apart from the two three day uh benders i'd go and obviously you can't but i still train i still go running i started that in in me do you think that's what kept you alive though yeah definitely if i was to stop training um i probably would have still dude there yeah were you ever suicidal yep i was suicidal towards the end i was suicidal i'd ordered a batch and um this guy was posting through my um my window towards the end he was going to work i was throwing him he was driving past because he was doing he was cleaning bins and he's just throwing another one in the house and mate that's the last one and this time i've done it for about three days i sniffed for about three days um i spent about 15 of the pound on myself and i knew i was getting another bug i was saying this is getting my last bug i hope it takes me i hope this takes me away from from this world because i was so bad in um in depression whilst i was whilst i was high i was still down and it was like the devil was sleeping inside me and that was a time where i didn't want to be anymore what was your family soon This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT.

44:36Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro Plans.

45:309th only on peacock this show gives me a reason to live i didn't really tell him i didn't really tell him because i i've got parents who say it's your own fault um you know what you get yourself out this this situation yourself so i just dealt with it on my on my own and then i met my partner who uh it was a savior to the situation how long were you on it for eight years i was only eight years yeah um it doesn't still have a long long time for addiction but it really was i caught for a lost time yeah when did people start noticing uh that's so i hate it well yeah you've got issues or addictions you do you hate it well because you're an addict so you you don't want to be sussed out you know yeah because i i was still big you know most cold kids like they lose weight or they look scrawny but i you're right i I hid it quite well.

46:21Um, then I started to notice the last year where I've let myself go completely. I was putting too much weight and that, that, that just wasn't, wasn't me. Were you just dry sniffing? Close to, I'd have one drink and I'd feel like that wasn't classed as dry sniffing. It just mentally, cause I always said I would never dry sniff, but then it got into one drink. Yeah. Before it was like six before, you know, they, they went into one. Just, just snotting? Yeah. yeah that's just not what I'd say and then never touch the uh the higher end stuff yeah man once you're on that cracker start smoking it nah I don't think there's many come back from that there's not many come back from the Charlie and the booze you know but once you start dabbling into the higher stuff like coke's still up there but you can get off it man yeah you know you know why is it once you start smoking that cracker heroin nah just totally gone for it yeah I never ever thank thank god i never um i never went down that line so yeah only takes one you're already a bad influence yourself everybody is but it only takes that other one to come in yeah let's try this oh they have and whatever during you think oh what the fuck it give me yeah that's right that is they have they have done and i'll be lying if i said i weren't tempted to think you know what i wonder what that's like what i never from my own personal respect my self-respect i refused it yeah ain't it mad we've still got a little bit of self-respect even though you're sniffing and drinking and full of demons and pretending and lying to everyone but you still think i'm better than that i always did yeah for some reason i don't know you know other people it was clean and they would look at me saying oh wait what the state of you but um yeah still had a little bit of self-respect yeah addiction comes in all different forms doesn't matter what you look like you know it doesn't matter if you've got the suit or you're the the homeless guy you you just it comes in so many different forms people hide it and mask it in different yeah in different ways but what made you then want to change my partner uh my partner my missus made me want to change uh more than anything um people told you know all my friends could say stop doing it but you know what i didn't listen because most of them was doing it with me but yeah my partner i wanted to change for her because she deserved better and she had a former partner who was an addict as well, coke addict as well, and I know what it done to her, try and help him and that was my, you know, my fire in my belly to want to change.