Love Island - Only Fans - Prison - Broken to Born Again, Katie Salmon Tells Her Story

48:43Before we left was definitely like the break point. Um, obviously it's when I had, I run in with the law, but also the relationship was like the toxic, the most toxic thing I've ever experienced in my life, or at the same time as well. I just didn't know how to get out and I so desperately wanted my child to have a father that I was just putting up with the most horrific abuse. And it was so much more worse mentally than it was physically. And what were you? Just, you know, I was very aware of a lot of things that were going on. I could see it with my own eyes, but also again, like that intuitive thoughts, like I knew the truth, you know, and it was hard because my accountant, my money manager, they were all part of his people and they'd all be taking money off me every month and it wasn't going anywhere like it was it was a lot that was going on you know there was a lot a lot of things that I look back now and think wow how is that even allowed but I had no protection because I was just on my own so like my financial advisor was his person they were robbing thousands off me a month my accountant was his person it was all very much like i was trapped on every single way um but mentally he would be like you've got bipolar or you know you really need help mentally so i was just like unraveling because i just i could see so much and i was just like maybe it's me did you feel like a slave yeah yeah they're all taking from you they're all using you and people say you have your own choices you don't have yourself to blame as well i know what people be thinking as well because you chose to be in that industry and for anybody watching or listening that's what it's going to lead to is low vibrational people absolutely taking full control and completely using you and it's a prime targets of someone coming from the broken home or addicts his parents and it's not to put anybody down but it's the majority of it i've interviewed enough people to understand the sort of patterns of people's life choices by their upbringing yes and then it's more difficult to go against or listen to anybody clean because you think they're crazy.

51:00It's only that forces that you actually listen to because you think they're your savior. Yeah, yeah, exactly that. And you know, he, he got me into the relationship by pretending to be spiritual, which for me at that point was just like, cause I was so deep and I've always been very deep, but like deep on a spiritual level where I, I, you know, I was very much like, oh no, bad vibration, good vibration you know low energy good energy that I started seeing a lot within him that was triggering me and that I knew wasn't good I was so far from that even down to like being in rooms where conspiracies were literally happening in front of my face so I knew that these conspiracies were absolutely the truth because I could see it with my own eyes that then I started being like I know that I need to get out and like spiritual things would happen like I remember being in Dubai after I'd just met him, this sounds a bit crazy, but a crow came and flew on the table right opposite me and I remember recording it on my Instagram because this crow was going crazy looking at me and it was like screaming and the whole restaurant was like looking like what is going on and it was like that close to me and I knew it was a warning, I knew it was telling me like no and I didn't listen so I got a few signs like that that I was like I don't think I should be doing this.

52:15But I'm, I've always been that type of person as well that sees more than beyond the person. I want, I want to help people. I want to heal them and I want to be helpful to them. I, I love them past their pain. I've always been that person and I always will be that person. But then I had to realize that sometimes I am, I need to help myself before I help other people because if I'm that person, they can just take advantage of me or vice versa and it's just going end up in chaos yeah because like you say it's the responsibility and sometimes we are the problem absolutely I had multiple I had so many problems and at some point you know it absolutely was my decision to do these things and I am glad that I had all of them experiences because today I wouldn't be able to stand here and say actually I tried it run you know but like you say if someone pure did come into your life and say look stop doing this like you're selling yourself short it's embarrassing you're going to completely lose yourself you'd have told them to fuck off you'd have said they were controlling when someone's trying to look out for you so you've not really got that mindset of understanding who's really good or bad it's difficult to make better decisions do you know the maddest thing is um when i actually was in thailand just before i got pregnant and we met this christian couple in thailand and they were only young and they used to preach the gospel to me all the time and i'd go yous are crazy leave me alone and they knew what i was doing they knew what we were doing and this in these you know and they were like trying to baptize me and he was like no way because they were saying you're going to be changed forever and and he was like no way and I just used to adamantly have these debates with them because I was all about quantum physics then and you know I still am but I was very much so like that in the universe and stuff like that and I would have these people out on conversations and just be like didn't believe a word they'd say and then later on when I actually experienced it I think wow wow, that actually, that never came to me at that time.

54:09I don't know where I would have been, because even though it was just a little seed that was planted in me in Thailand, months after that is really truly when I actually got, it got revealed to me personally, and I got to experience it. But what would my life been if I never even got to meet them people, because they kept me some stability over there. So it's mad how like I look back and I think everything does happen for a reason. I believe everything's already laid out. I was meant to do all them things and I was meant to suffer like that and have them experiences even if they almost destroyed me because the pain has a purpose.

54:40You're doing community service now, you were charged, you were convicted, what's that story? So again it leads back to him, so he was having, I don't know how much I can legally actually say, but he was having an affair with someone, they were making a lot of sexual explicit content she would send me them um they were have they were openly having this affair online but I actually couldn't see it because I was quite hidden away from it because I was just trying to raise my child um we ended up getting back together he set a situation up where it really did blow out and obviously three years later was when he finally got into court which was just quite recently so this happened three years ago and they didn't believe my story and that court experience was probably one of the most traumatic things to this day that I've had to experience because I've never been in trouble before I've never had a run-in with the police I've never had a fight in my life so then to go there and to be criminalized the way that I was and because I'm not used to this industry I thought I could go in and share my story and you know speak to normal human beings on the stand I didn't realize what it was going to be and they chewed me up and spat me back out and it was horrific.

55:59I wasn't able to share my evidence. I wasn't able to share my story. I was labelled straight away to OnlyFans and they literally tried to put me away for four years. Yeah, that does discredit you though. Of course it does. OnlyFans or some sort of negative industry. So you lose credibility. All parties were involved in that industry though, but it was just, you know. Where's the line then of making content and actually having an affair? Because if you're making content and people are sleeping around and doing things, what's the difference? So them two were about to fly to Thailand back to my house to go and live there and leave me with the baby at home.

56:38The new business that I'd just invested the last of my savings into, they took from me and stole my products and had it all there. so he even took that from me because he told me I mentally wasn't stable to do it um so they were building that they were going back to my house in Thailand so it was much deeper than that like they were you know there was um it was vindictive things set in place ready to like hurt me and obviously I left that I left the situation that day with 14 stitches in my face I was hospitalized I was scarred but you won't read that in the papers you won't read none of that in the paper you won't read any of my sides or how badly I was injured and you it's actually such a twisted story and the sad thing is like no one that day was innocent nobody none of us are innocent so I'm not trying to play the innocent part because I most definitely wasn't innocent but nobody was but I felt as though I had to take for everyone because he's no longer here I couldn't stand up in court and you know give evidence so I had to take the blame basically for everyone's trauma response why would you care if he was leaving with another bird anyway if you knew it was sort of bad for you because at that time i was so still toxically invested into him it was like i was tied to him it was trauma bond absolutely it was i look back now and think that is so scary it was like i was under a spell i was completely different person and i would do anything for this man even though he would do the most brutal vile things I would still show up for this man and be prepared to do anything and I look back and think how like that that's scary but he was a good father to Tiger and I'll give him that you know he really was he loved her when she when she was first born because I did suffer postnatal the first few weeks it was all him so he'd do the knife feeds for me and you know I thought I was like wow you know he's the best man ever it was only it was only and about four months in when he was like I'm not doing this this is getting hard now and then that's when he left and started getting back up to his old life which was the cheating in there what you're thinking when you get charged broken completely broken it felt like everything I'd been working on for them three years and because the thing is about me I don't want to hold resentment to anyone in this situation because I know none of us were innocent and I know that it was painful and we all got hurt but also the girls in the situation it was really instigated by a man and so he hurt us both and twisted and lied to us both and tricked us both so I'm also not stupid you know I see really the biggest story I had but broken just completely broken worried about how it was going to affect my career with criminal records and angry angry at God angry at everyone that like how how can I not share my story how is like what happened to me not even being justified where's my you know where's my chance to speak it was just the whole system is so scary and so awful like i i honestly i don't know how i was going to make it out what'd you get charged with gbh with intent so that's what they could you could have got four years yeah

59:57I'm laughing because it's fucking crazy listen I went through the family courts I'm also going through the criminal courts so I understand where you're coming from where they portray one side of a story and there's so much more to it thankfully my side will come out as well so I understand how men can be but I understand how women can be as well when it's not all one-sided you know and like I say I'm dying for my side to come out because people want to believe the negative stuff about you I ain't no fucking saint never portrayed myself to be a saint but on the other hand I will kill her away from anything I've done in life I'll never shy away from it but when the media come after you and when they try and destroy when they try and tarnish you think okay you've got to put kind of put your big pants your big boy pants on to stand strong most importantly because the family court in itself is such a negative emotion to have male and female it's not just I'm not saying every man is innocent but can I assure you not every woman is innocent but what you go through with the family courts and the money and the mental damage that it does you know fighting and it's the family courts want you to throw mud I'm 41 years in this planet I've never been convicted of any domestic in my life and that doesn't mean men are not abusers behind closed doors but it's also a good indicator okay wait a minute 8 years you'll never see an ex-girlfriend ever come online and talk shit about me listen I'm a fucking idiot I'm a cheeky bastard at times but it's just when you have to defend and I've not really defended myself either to the extent because I wanted to wait because waiting is perfect as well because it shows you who people really are it shows you people's true intentions and then when the time is right okay listen release what I've got and then I don't want apologies but it's trying to keep your name when you work so hard for a reputation and to build something that's been non-stop graft and then someone tries to take it away you think like fuck me you do experience the evil in the world and it makes you question people like i didn't trust beforehand and it just makes me not trust even more now because you don't know people's true intentions and that's the scary place to be how did the media treat you well i remember being in the courtroom and like I was distraught, obviously.

1:02:15I've never been in a situation like that and I had to relive all these painful moments. And he's no longer here, so it was quite sour, you know? What happened to him, for people who don't know? He committed suicide a year ago in December in Thailand. And how did you feel after that? It's heartbroken for my daughter but also for him because I don't believe that anyone's born evil. I believe that the circumstances and the situations that we have in life can bring darkness or light into us and he had a very traumatic life growing up and he had problems with women and it's not my story to share but he had you know things that happened that he resented women for growing up and unfortunately we had to take the reap for that but I still would never wish anybody dead not even my worst enemy you know I don't want anyone to suffer or be in pain I would have helped him if he called for me I would have I would have been there and I would have helped him but I think that in some way people can move on now and that I wouldn't wish death on anyone but i also think he was struggling and living a very dark life that it could have got really scary in the end for him or for people around him again listen people taking on life you never want that you wouldn't wish it upon your worst enemy you know but yeah but like you say he's not here to tell his side but you can only say things from your side going through the court case the media the fuckers media kill people we know this and they can portray a narrative how they want to portray it and they can like it they've done it with me for years they've done it with me for years like whether you like me or not listen i'm not asked but what you can't take away is the graph that i've put into create one of the biggest independent podcasts in the world you know and do you become a threat for the hierarchies i don't know i don't want to go down this route of i'm being set up this and that but something's not right with the whole situation which i'll get into more depth hopefully in a few months but you do become a target when you become a threat and you can i can have anybody on and have a discussion and it hits millions of views not just on youtube but downloads and facebook instagram tiktok and you do become a threat yeah i will bend a break and you see a lot of people sell out and i will never sell out no matter what and it is lucrative when you're getting off for gambling deals and alcohol deals i think possibly yeah how the fuck can i be telling people not to drink and not gamble if i'm then promoting it and but you i think the majority of people can be bought the majority of people do sell out because everybody craves money money's a root of all evil really yeah and i think we do completely sell ourselves you've experienced it first hand listen i've experienced it first hand but it is an illusion yeah it doesn't exist just paper it's just numbers on a screen we've been taught like how do we know we've been taught you know by like the people higher up that this is how this is what we're supposed to do like I think the whole world is a stage and I have experienced and seen things in this life that people I wouldn't even speak about because people really would be like that is crazy but the truth sounds crazy in a world full of lies and that's the problem that we're facing we're all controlled you know there's a war against humanity and there is a much bigger fight at hand than just the next gossip or what happened here.

1:05:47So I try and keep my eyes on God, even when all of this was going on, because I know that this is much bigger than just me and you or bigger than my own circumstances. This is humanity. You know, this is a war against humans, about the way that we think, they're taking things from us, they're polluting us, you know, our food, the things we watch, the things that we consume. It's all around us. And when you like fully detach yourself from that that's truly when you really start to be like what am I here for what's my purpose who do I want to be to people do I want to help people or do I I want to distract people that's when you really start weighing up what we're here for and what the world really is how long did court last it lasted about a week it went on trial for about a week um but then I had to go back about four weeks later for obviously the sentence and I honestly believed I've been waiting for this for three years I was I could not wait for my story to finally come out and my name's gonna be cleared, you know, with everything that I had in terms of evidence.

1:06:46It was a no-brainer. It was so clear as day to everybody that it was gonna really be revealed that no one was innocent. It was just a fight and, you know, it was just something really embarrassing and quite scatty that happened three years ago. But that wasn't the case. The media twisted it to a point where they was all in the courtroom and I was crying my eyes out asking them to leave. and the judge told me that it was an open courtroom and legally they were allowed to be in there every time I left the stand and went outside the reporters would come over to me and go I'm so sorry they were women I'm so sorry lovely hope you're okay you're gonna be okay you're gonna get through this the next day they wrote a massive horrible article about me with my home address shared online and so twisted that my story wasn't even shared I don't know legally how they were even allowed to print some of the stuff they printed.

1:07:37Because really go back on the court records, that wasn't said, that was twisted and that was proven not true. So why legally are you allowed to write that? Yeah, but that's what they can do, they twist. They can do anything they want. Anything that says in court, they can twist it in such a way. And a woman's scorn is the worst one to mess with because I know from also being a woman like that from before I, you know, changed truly inside now, but they really can. If you hurt a woman, and she is prepared to go to the lowest steps to do anything. And I think in this industry, as you'll know, you've got to be careful on, they got offered money to sell these stories.

1:08:11So these people give them the press, the story in the first place and they get money for it. They take money for it. So then we're always labeled as you sell stories on yourself. That's not even possible because if they ever do an interview with someone, it says exclusive interview. If someone sold the story on you, who would really want that reputation? You know, the same as me, why would I sell that story on me? They sold it and they took some finances from it and yet that in a loan I had proof of that, that should have been enough alone and court to go look here's financial earnings that these people are making from the back of these stories but no because I was on OnlyFans and they wanted to make an example of me.

1:08:53What are you thinking when you got guilty? That I was going to jail, that I was gonna, that my daughter was gonna be without any parents and that, oh my goodness, I was just, I was just like, I'm ruined, you know. It wasn't even about, I didn't care about people's opinion, I was, all I was thinking about with my baby. I was like, what is she gonna do about her mother? I failed her, you know. I also was like quite deep for me because it was like, God, if you see all and hear all and you are all, how have you allowed this to happen? but I think that I had to be humbled even then even though I'd been humbled I had to keep getting humbled to remind me that this was not ever about the redemption or the healing that I found along the way it was because I need to see this industry and this justice system to help these women because the justice system is so screwed up the girl that I'm doing community service with she was getting battered by a boyfriend um near death she hit him over the head with something she got charged there was a girl that tried to commit suicide and she got charged for having a knife it's like these stories that I hear now that I'm brushing shoulders with these women don't get me wrong first I was a bit intimidated and I was a bit like this is quite hard for me but now I'm like these women are broken and there's actually no help for them they just want to criminalize them and it's okay but actually only like 20 % of women in that system are actually like going to the jails and stuff but majority of women that enter the criminal system can't get out of it because they keep going back because they don't know any difference so that's the sad thing when they probably and a lot of them as well comes from men it's all like you know trauma from childhood or abusive relationship I'm not saying this is all women I know I've dealt with some very toxic women and I've been one myself so I know but seeing really truly now i'm in the system what it is it's terrifying terrifying yeah but it's the same for men a lot of men who are in prison are drug addicts but they come from the broken home the abuse of relationships the abuse of parents and a lot of people don't deserve to be in prison they deserve to be rehabbed to get help because it's just the vicious cycle and sometimes when it's all you know then you're just going to repeat the same patterns yeah and like i said earlier you You know, no one's born evil.

1:11:12Not at all. We're all born completely innocent. It's the paths that we get led on, all the things that we see and experience that shapes us. So it's like, you know, how can a child have control over who their mom and dad are or the environment they're brought up in? They physically can't. They're a child. So it's okay for people to go, but you made that choice. But yeah, I didn't control what I was brought up in. And it all had repercussions. Yes, as you get older, you can mature and you can make changes. but when you're constantly looping in the same cycles it takes a lot to come in and break them cycles and really turn the opposite way thankfully i did so you're getting sentenced you get community service what are you thinking then you're not getting prison time oh no he he my barrister was like handing me my bag ready to go down he made me sweat it out to the very last like it was who's been called for really he he made me believe that i was going down my mum was in there she was crying like i was just distraught and then he um he gave me a tag for three months um 140 hours of community service and um a five-year silence in terms of like i'm not able to go go deep about the case or show anything online yeah but we can still speak about the stuff that's already yeah we're all out there isn't it yeah of course yeah but that's the thing is when they silence you and you can't that's my concern you know but silence me why because also if i spoke up about what happened and how they treated me that alone is something to to ring alarm bells to people's ear for their person um the prosecuting barrister to continue apologize to me about how i was being treated nothing was right you know a lot of people in the room were aware of it um and a lot of people you can see a person by the character of how they present themselves the fruit is revealed in a person you know and he could clearly say that I wasn't this big horrible monster they were trying to make out there was much more to the story but they just want to deal guilty not guilty they're not really bothered about the the nitty-gritty stuff are they it's just black and white and what is on that paper guilty you know you finished yeah but any story in any court case there's always so many different sides to it but of course the evidence can gravitate one way where you look guilty and if they have an inkling that you are then you're going to get found guilty 100 you know no matter what the true intentions are no matter what the story is and that's the difficult thing but listen you're over it what about the born again stuff like let's touch on this you said you were spiritual but when did you start getting involved with jesus or god i don't really know much about the born again stuff but um so again it was you you know, just before he left.

1:13:55So I, we were having a lot of paranormal experiences in the house where things like sex toys would fly across the room. And he was, you know, he was a bit in the gangster world. He was petrified. He wouldn't, you know, if we had quite a big house, it was like a couple of floors. So he wouldn't, you know, travel late at night or when it got dark on his own. He'd want me to go with him. There was just an airy feeling, constantly like a dark presence around us that I could feel and, you know, see sometimes. And I just kept getting this profound voice over and over in my head, which is why I thought I started losing genuinely the plot, because it was like, Jesus, Jesus, follow me, Jesus.

1:14:33And I was like, what is this? And because I dived very deep into plant medicines, I actually thought that I was going through spiritual psychosis. I would wake up covered black and blue in bruises, hand marks on me that I had no idea where they were coming from. I started losing all the back of my hair but at this point because I was so clinically depressed with the baby I just thought you know it's because I'm so run down you know I'm obviously not well I was six stone there was a lot to play might have been like a blood infection so I'd go to I went to the doctors and they were like yeah it doesn't sound right so they would send me in CT scans and they wanted to rule out cancer because all of the signs were there you know everything come back completely normal and um they were like don't know what it is there's nothing there's nothing there but they could see the evidence on my body of that I wasn't okay you know and I was getting a lot of suicidal intrusive thoughts and for the first time in my life I obviously had my child but I was like if you're real God you need to come and help me because if you don't I can't be here anymore like I can't do this like I just was at the end I I honestly I didn't want to ruin her life by having a mother like me that was suffering so much so I was like god if you are real you really need to help me I cried out for him and I I had this dream this amazing dream that I woke up and I was like I need to I need I need help and there was a knock on my door and it was the same guy who's actually my partner now from eight years before who got me into plant medicines but also told me to buy the bible the same bible that I read to this day and um he was like I felt like I needed to come and see you as I've been okay and I was like I'm gonna sound so crazy but like Jesus and he was like oh my goodness came in he said some prayers over me and was like let me take you to this church and I was like oh no I'm not walking into a church and he was like it's not a normal church just trust me and come with me so I walked into this church and um normal building not like a religious building or anything and the it was like he knew me the pastor straight away everything that he preached was my life was my story and I was just like help me I just started crying out I was like help me like I don't know what's happening to me like I need to be baptized I just felt this really intrusive thought to be baptized and that first day I ever walked into the church I got baptized which is not normal um but after I come out the baptism time it was like pain it was like something was trying to pull me under that was actually causing me severe pain something was trying to pull me off and it was like a war spiritually and when I left that day I was like I I need to find Jesus like I need to know more about him like what is he you know who is he like I've only ever been taught Jesus when I was younger and I'd be like oh whatever you know religion go away I'm not I'm not I'm about the universe I'm about energy but then I started relaying all my life and how actually he was been planting seeds in me the whole time and I was like I've got nothing to lose I need to look into this a bit more and honestly James the more that I learn about him the more that I read about him there's absolutely no denial in my brain that he is not real and that he has been everything I've been looking for my whole life he is the love and the peace and the creator of humanity they're like he is really the way the truth and the life and he saved me and he's continually like working on me still to this day but I just I've been changed radically and I hope now to be that change for my daughter and that she will never grow up in something different to what I was because I finally found what I was looking for which was God do you worry that she potentially could be like you when you're younger years does that worry you I think that I am so so blessed that she hasn't got to see what I got to say because I've protected her and this is why I start to look at now okay you know if all them things didn't happen that relationship she would have seen a broken home and she would have got to experience the things that I did when I was younger but she doesn't know any different she just knows me and you know she comes to church with me all the time now she knows who Jesus is she prays by herself it's actually quite cute and fascinating how much they absorb her and I just know that she's gonna know I mean I can't protect her from the world as you know we can't protect our children from it but I can show her where to look before the world tells her where to look so keep your eyes up on God rather than the world and I know and believe that she's gonna learn from my life and I'll be so open with my daughter and I hope to you know share all experiences with her but I think she's gonna be okay because now I'm actually covered and now you know I think there's many different spiritual routes to take it's all true it all exists 100 % that's proven you know but I think that there's a point in life where we have to like question what what we're and I'm just too deep I'm like why am I here what is this you know and what are we doing like what is this purpose so if I'm that open with her about all my experiences and what ways not to go and what ways to go then that's between her and God she's her own person she's got to figure that out for itself but as a mother it's my job to protect and to pray over us and to make sure that our mind is protected from the doctrinations of the world from the corruption from the you know the the elites like there's so much that i am as a mother i still need to protect us with which is what i'm doing trying my best anyway what about the bruises where were the bruises all over my body head to door i interviewed a woman i don't want to scare you charlotte and she was a drug amazing girl from Essex changed her life she's over one years clean now but she used to have a man come up to the house and give her drugs he never wanted anything else but she used to wake up covered in bruises and then she found out that she was being drugged and other people were coming up and abusing her wow I would say that of course I didn't I mean I don't think he would do that but then again I would say he was pretty capable of doing all things but what I will say is it left straight after baptism so it didn't really you know it instantly went to the point that it was like I also posted pictures of all this on Instagram like I was covered in scabs as well like it was like my body was like it was in my nervous system was truly in fight or flight it was like head to toe psoriasis eczema bruises it James I haven't suffered with any of it in three years it's I've it's completely left my life that in itself is the one thing that's kept me going with this journey because you know I've always been spiritual I've seen plant medicines I've seen some fascinating enlightened stuff you know and when we experience these things we can go whoa okay there's much more than just us out there there's something bigger and greater than us but then I realized that everything is really truly spiritual and that I think that by the things I was doing, I was opening doors and giving these things agreement to me, to access to me, that once I went and was born again, under water and baptism, I was reborn and nothing, and then like, I now belong to Jesus and nothing can come near me now.

1:22:24What's your biggest regret? My biggest regret? Probably. My biggest regret is probably sexually exposing myself from a young age because that led on to all of this. So I wish that I kind of just got a normal job like everybody else and wasn't really chasing them things because chasing the fame made me prepared to do anything for fame which led me into sexually exploiting myself. Hindsight's always a wonderful thing and if you're working that 95 and still seeing people glamorize that lifestyle it doesn't matter they've always gravitated towards something wanting more wanting that more money wanting that more attention but for those girls who are maybe thinking about doing only fans are doing porn what advice would you have for them i would say that not everything in this world is about money and even if you think that right now it might give you short time happiness which it will because the finances will be there it will bring you long-term bondage and it will break you down and take pieces of you every single day until you look in the mirror and don't realize who you are anymore you become an object you're no longer a human you're an object and I think that now we have these influences as such on these platforms that glamorize it even more so now it isn't just pictures now it's doing 100 men in a day how much prepared as a society are we prepared to go to literally remove women from our birth given right what we're supposed to be which is nothing of the sort which is why i've stepped into a journey of like modesty you know i want them to know that it's beautiful to look after your children and to stay at home and provide it's beautiful to cover up it's not actually about the body it's about the heart and stop chasing things in this world that are going to fulfill you for a short time and make you lose eternity literally How was it when your dad decided to start trying to make changes?

1:24:29How was your relationship with him at that point? I'm close to my dad, I'm definitely a daddy's girl like I love him to pieces and he's a good man he's just, you know, he just suffers with his own stuff but he's never really, we never really, we don't have a relationship like that you know, we're not like deep, we'd never go into deep combos like that it's just kind of, he comes to me more as like spiritually like literally i guide him and all my family they all come to me for wisdom or advice and because i'm quite positive i never look i never like to look at the negative so i'll always lift them up i'll always lift them up and i'll always you know i'll pray for them and stuff like that so i think they find comfort in that but i think that if he doesn't get a hold of that soon he's definitely gonna lose his life.

1:25:19So if your dad was more in tune and never really battled with his own addictions how do you think that would have helped you more positively in life by having a role model there? Because I think it's important for fathers to always be there no matter what. But at a rate now divorce is through the roof. We get it. But coming from the broken home it's not good for any kid no matter who you are. I'm present but it's still difficult to be distant as well and not there 24-7 because you're being you're being raised by different parents and then different step parents and it must be confusing confusing confusing you know but how do you think things would be if your dad was more present and never had addictions do you think you'd have made those sort of choices no because i think that you know he would have told me right he would have been like you're not doing that as my daughter or he if he wasn't trying to survive then he would have been able to like look out for me a bit more and probably try to protect me I think you know if your father holds the door open for you and opens the door and stuff like that you become used to that so then you look for that in other men but when you're used to someone just turning to the bottle shouting you kind of like you think that's normal it normalizes it to you so I'd never like to hold it to him I'm not saying that that is the reason you know why my life turned out the way that it did, or I went through the things that I did.

1:26:41I don't blame him for that, but I think that I would have had a bit more better direction and stability. I wouldn't have been seeking to be protected because that's all I was really looking for was to feel seen. I just wanted to feel like seen and valued. When are you yet your happiest? When I'm in the presence of God and I feel that overwhelming peace and love that take away everything from this world. It all boils down to the love, how much love are you carrying? And I think for me to be able to still have so much love to give to people after everything I've been through is true explanation of itself that that's not me, it's God.

1:27:23That that's what it is. That's the transformation that it's done in me. Do you question why you're still here? yeah I think that it's um I think that I look back now and there was times when I'm like how did I make it through that I literally was so close to Gowan and it's because he has a plan for me you know um the thing is about me and my very open book and I tend to overshare with everyone so if I can overshare with all of these turbulent things in my life and all these things that have nearly broken me then at least people then start to feel heard because if I've suffered with feeling unvalidated or you know um being misunderstood how better yet with my openness to now share everything to let even if some people are going to hate on it because they will it's embarrassing for me to still go back and admit these things and relive them.

1:28:25But hopefully then there's women there that go, oh, wow, I feel like that. Maybe I now know where to go or where to look instead of the world, you know? What's your daily routine like now? I'm a member of the church and I work with them. I do a lot of things. I go to the gym. I love working out. so I tend to like I think that is so important for me like if I didn't have that that also transformed me physically but mentally more than anything um so the gym church and work my daughter it's literally like just my life now that's like but I'm happy with that James I have peace you know even like going back to a normal job it's been so nice and humbling because I say normal because for 10 years it's all I've known is social media so now to like do these things these like normal activities I love it I love being around people I love speaking to people I'm very like that um it's humbling now but it's actually it's got peace and being a part of the ministry in the church like I'm there three times a week like I'm part of the ministries now where I can help people heal and share my stories like if that's what needed to happen in order for me to go through all that then at least I can help other people who are going through the same thing as I was.

1:29:51How do you protect your daughter from obviously your life from your past when she gets a little older and understands it a bit more? I think that because she will know that everyone is human and everyone makes mistakes and that we shouldn't judge somebody at all like we're not called to judge one another we're called to you know hold each other's hands and lead each other home I don't judge people so she will be brought up knowing not to judge or at least try you know or not have these opinions on people so I think you know she's gonna have a different mindset to a lot of kids anyway will it affect her I hope and pray that it won't but I'll be open with her and I will try and as best as I can to be real and raw with her so that she actually knows the precautions that life had but I will try and shield her from a lot of the information about her father.

1:30:40So the religion you think was a big turning point? I honestly, I think that I don't follow religion, I follow Jesus. I think that religion is based on control and rules and regulations. Jesus actually came and dismissed all of that. He, he, the problem he had the most was with religious leaders. So because when we're brought up in a world of just healing, because remember the system tricks us and they like to control us. So they use a lot and twist the narratives and twist the truth to make it a control mechanism to control us. But really when you go and find it for yourself, you realize it's actually quite the opposite.

1:31:16So I think that like, I don't follow religion. I follow Jesus and I follow his teachings. Um, my, my. So what is the difference then? Because I think was Jesus, he's in the Quran, he's in the Bible. I think he's in all the Abrahamic religions. All religions point to Jesus and acknowledge that Jesus existed and that was real. But obviously, you know, Jesus says, I am the way, the truth and the life. I think the humanity, humans have created religion, of course. But really, it's spirituality. But obviously, a lot more people are awoke to this now, aren't they? And they're like, okay, we know the world's a bit more spiritual.

1:31:51But I think that you just have to be careful with counterfeits because a lot of these things are true. But you have to be careful the rabbit holes you're going down. But I think at the bottom of every single rabbit hole, Yahweh is at the bottom of it. And it's written in the DNA. and it's okay to look at things on paper and see the evidence there but then when you truly live and walk with them the transformation that's happened in me I can't deny you know, I can't deny and I just hope and pray that people see that before anything that people can see it in me So you're going three times a week?

1:32:24Are you singing the hymns in that? Well, we don't do none of that I do not do it We sing all the shit No, we have music and it's lovely upbeat music and everyone's dancing and it's joyful it's a beautiful you know. Yes you're not a proper bible basher then like um so I don't I don't I'm not religious myself I was raised Catholic my name's James Joseph Francis Inglisley I was baptized christened Catholic school we used to go assembly and sing all the songs like fucking kumbaya and I think we used to say a prayer before school and then after at the end of school I'm sure. I wish we had that now still because they took prayer out of school now.

1:33:00It's all away but so like I don't know what the difference is. i think the difference is religion says follow these rules or you're not going to be okay and tries to control you where jesus says come to me as you are and i will clean you up so we don't go in the shower you know we go in the shower because we're dirty and we go to get clean that's exactly what happens when you walk with jesus we go we come as we are he tells us to come as we are and still to this day he's still working on me it's just not one overnight thing religion you go in there you know you're feeling you confess your sins to whoever you know and you also idolize these priests and stuff like that like yeah no fuck all them non-seas man like this is the problem that's satanic like not everybody priest is bad but you do see a lot of them on the media and the the money the christ the money the churches have paid out to cover up the pedophilia is scary but they use that for a reason to also distract the people from the living truth and the bread of life which is him it's like hollywood let's look at hollywood they are the center stage of people it's very apparent there's only two people that are worshipped and that's the god of this world or the god of the heavens and earth and they make that very apparent you know the god of this world is i believe again is run by darkness and the whole matrix is escaping that and believe in the true identity that we belong to christ and that we follow christ and find our way home this where there's a trap and it's a matrix that's trying to get us to follow satan and darkness to take us away from god to distract us so much and pull us so far away from the truth that we're not we no longer know where we come from or why we're here what is life to you life to me now is about saving souls because if i can experience that amount of pain imagine what other people are experiencing people that you know don't know a way out I think that all I am now my life to me is a vessel a vessel to spread love and light and hope and I hope that I can do that by sharing my journey even if people might not understand it I'm here to be a vessel for hope and love because otherwise what was the point of all that pain my pain has a purpose did you ever think you would have got this far not at all no do you think you've been talking about jesus no no i was so far away from that i honestly would be like if i could see now but it makes me emotional as well because i also wish that i could show my younger self me now because that was everything i was always trying to be you know like holding that peace and the feminism and stuff was everything that's come along the way back then i thought like i was quite masculine and i was quite you know always half naked i always had I've always been a good person, I had good intentions, but it's always been twisted and manipulated by things I was participating in or saying and doing.

1:35:58I wish I could shame my younger self, me now, because then I could show her, you know, look, this is the way, because look at who you are now. I'm not saying I never struggle still, because of course I do. I think that we're always going to be, but I know who to look to now. I know that I'm, you know, it's only by God's grace alone that I'm still here. yeah whatever you're doing is working you look great you're vibrant you're doing well you're speaking clear and you overcome your struggles which is most important you know and no matter what you go through in life if people can start learning from the mistakes it's only a good starter of where you can actually go and what you can achieve because if you keep repeating the same cycles the bottom line is nothing's going to change yeah and in humanity you know if we can look at other people and try and correct them or say well they need to do this how about we look inwards and start working on ourself first that's really them and we'll start seeing a difference so as much as I can speak about OnlyFans and everything else I'm not you know I'm not saying that like this is I am saying it's wrong but I'm also saying it with understanding like we are all lost and I know that do you know what I mean I'm not saying I'm perfect I'm not saying I know it I'm humble in my ignorance but at the same time it's like we all need to really go inwards and start pointing the finger at other people or what they did and look inwards and start changing ourselves because that's when then we can really be a true difference in the world especially to our children for anybody watching this and a life who's struggle right now what advice would you have for them the i would say that you're you are loved beyond measures and that you were created for a special purpose and that he's calling us all we all belong to him we all belong to god we all belong to christ and he's calling us all and in them moments when you feel like there is no hope he is all things and he's waiting for you how are you feeling today i feel good now i've had that chat i feel like it's been a bit of therapy i've been waiting for two years for therapy but listen you're doing amazing again thanks for coming on today what's your social media links for maybe people to reach out and people maybe ask questions you've lived that life you've overcome it listen you're still doing community service but who gives a fuck like is you're owning your madness which is important for anybody you've got to own up you can't point fingers we can't blame yes other people come into your life and we can sort of gravitate and do bad with them but you've got to take full responsibility sometimes of your own actions but for anybody that's maybe want to reach out ask questions how can they get into contact with you my instagram is it's Katie Salmon but most importantly I've just started a faith company for women so anyone that wants to grow mentally spiritually and physically then follow House of Faith Crow because that's going to be a new project that I'm working on and I'm hoping to uplift and help a lot of women for all this so yeah what about the spud business you've been promoting Spidelli yeah give them a okay Spidelli it's it's on the Wirral we we plan to expand it but if you want the most tastiest spuds like honestly he's the best chef in the world and i'm not just saying that he really is amazing so yeah spidelli follow us on instagram we make the best spuds those fucking spuds are massive now man you see people on tiktok thousands of people are watching their lives with jack of potatoes and cheese like see but ours are that you know ours are like slow cook so all our stuff is like slow cooked so beef brisket we're trying to put nutrition back into our hometown where we live and feed people good meals that aren't going to break the bank and it's better than taking your kids to mcdonald's we want to give them nutrition we want to give them you know good meals for good prices and add to the community that's what that's what we're there for really we hope to expand but it's been crazy james i didn't know how many people love jack of potatoes yeah neither did i man but they are nice when you actually get one i got one when i was in gretna i think it was gretna now it's like they got cheaper clothes you can get there but they have their little spud van I got my tuna and cheese and I thought yeah it's no wonder they're popular but listen Katie thanks for coming on today you're doing amazing I wish you nothing but the best for the future and anything I can help with you know I'm only a phone call away thank you for having me thank you and God bless God bless