The Corrupt Cop Working with Gangsters - Adam Davies Tells His Story

38:35And he came through as a missing person and we did all the usual stuff we'd do. We started searching around the area, any friends that have heard from him or anything like that, nothing at all. And it was 24 hours he was missing for. And eventually one of the officers had found his car parked in a car park that we knew was a hot spot, unfortunately, for suicide. um and we got a couple of dog units and and they end up finding the body and he'd kill himself by hanging and i remember i hadn't seen a suicide yet so i wanted to prepare myself because i knew that there'd be a possibility that i could go to one on my own eventually one day so i was always i'd always throw myself into the deep end because i knew that it was important to do that so that you know once you've seen it you haven't got to worry about you know everything's different everyone you go to is different you know but i knew that i'd then see it so i've i don't have to worry too much next time because i've seen it already if that makes sense and um i remember when they found the body there was a group of us that was stood in where his car was found in the car park and he was only found about 100 meters away from the car and uh he'd been there for a long time been there like i said he'd been there for about 24 hours and the inspector turned around and said right i know we're all due to finish soon but can i have some volunteers i just put my hand up straight away because i was like i want to be involved so anyway we went to the body and um you know i remember i remember standing there and they turned around to me saying can you open a scene log so i was like okay because they got put a scene on until the cid can come down and determine that it's non-suspicious you know you know it's probably likely that it's non-suspicious but you've always got to make sure just in case and i remember they then went off and this is this is like a you know an autumn or a winter evening so you know it was only you know what quarter past four but it was starting to get dark and i remember they're just left with me and this this guy in the woods and i remember just standing there just staring at him for god must have been 15 20 minutes until the police came until my colleagues came back and I was just I was just it's going to sound really weird and really really strange but I was just mesmerized because I'd never seen anything like it in my life and it just it took me by surprise and I remember going home that day and speaking to my partner at the time and just being like god I've seen something today that I just don't know how to take and I spoke to a couple of my colleagues the next day or you know a couple days later and they all said look it gets like that you know you you see your first one it's shock it's just and that was all it was i was just going through shock but i remember just standing at him just staring there mesmerized but it was a sad story you know he was a he was a builder he was he was late on his rent because he was waiting for a contractor to pay him it was about 18 to 20 grand and he just didn't see a way out and he he took his took his two two kids to nursery and and straight from taking his kids to nursery went and killed himself it's just so honestly it ripped me apart but you know you've got you've got to try and take yourself away from that and and just realise that it's your job and you've got to deal with it.

41:14Yeah, leaving the kids though, you know, I hope they've got a mum. Yeah, they did, they did. But even still, you know, I've got an eight-year-old, I couldn't imagine dropping him off to school and then it'll get into the point where I drop him off to school and then go, right, I need to go and do this now. How frequently are dead bodies when you're in the police force? Yeah, they're quite frequent. I mean, you get your sudden deaths and stuff where someone's, you know, died over a heart attack and you've got to go there anyway and make sure it's non-suspicious. You know, you go to every dead body, usually the ambulance, you know, the ambulance service will call you in and say can you come and you know can you come and come and have a look at this and but I've been to god christ I've been to so many and I used to not mind them towards the end so I used to get people who'd be given you get each get assigned jobs when you come in the morning you know they'll call you out when you put yourself available they'll call you up and they say I've got a job for you can you do this can you have a look at this job and people used to get sudden deaths or dead bodies and they'd be like Adam can you swap and I was like yeah go on I don't didn't mind because you you build up a bit of a resistance to it eventually um but I've seen some awful that it didn't really affect me until i left and i think you know i will come on to mental health in a bit but at the time it was sort of like i put on a front and it wasn't until i actually left the police about three years after i left when i was going through all the investigation stuff that it just hit me one day and i just struggled hard i had to i had to get a private therapist in the end just help me get through it tell me this through the lockdown and shut and covid was there more frequent heart attacks did you notice any any rise no i'll be wrong if I said I did.

42:36Not really, no. But then Covid was different because a lot of Covid deaths, we had to go there wearing full, I can't what you're calling that, asthma suits. The yellow shirt? Yeah, the full suit, you have to go there because if it was Covid or deemed Covid related, it went to a couple, don't get me wrong, but I wouldn't say from my experience it was any more than what we were used to. So no rise. So you had to wear those suits but you could sit next to each other in a restaurant? Exactly that, yeah. It does make me laugh, bro. Like it's not funny because people believed in it. People genuinely were scared and that's why the world is controlled.

43:11It's operated through fear. But when you think about the madness of having to walk into a restaurant with your mask on, but you can sit down and take your mask off. But yet then this deadly disease will go up and vanish because you've entered with a mask, but you can sit down. It's not there, but yet you've got the waitress who'll bring your pint over with her hands. with a mask on like it's it's just beyond me people lost loved ones people couldn't see loved ones dying like I seen a photo of the nurses with a piece of paper at the window sorry he's gone and the family behind the screen like newborn babies couldn't be there like and if I believe it was all a big set up but if everybody genuinely believed that there should be more of a nut roar you know what they've done to people what they've how they've manipulated the masses and that scares me how how fucking fit people are well one of the offenses that i had to plead guilty to um was covid related and and this is why it took me so long to plead guilty to it because you had the government situation didn't you where they're all having a party during covid this episode is brought to you by palm olive family time isn't just the big moments it's weeknight dinners sitting around the table everyone talking all at once so when the plates are empty and the sink is full, use Palmolive Ultra.

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45:15From athletic to athletic, Sierra's got it. And I was sitting there thinking, well, how am I getting going through a criminal investigation here for COVID related offenses? and yet the government are having parties and nothing's happening from them. There was an inquest, but that went a bit quiet, didn't it? We didn't really hear anything about that afterwards. It's all swept under the carpet because Pfizer have made well over 100 billion. This is a company that's been working for over 150 years and they've never cured anything. They've got Viagra writing off stuff. We'll be buzzing with them.

45:45Do you know what I'm saying? That's one of their biggest hitters, I guess. Yeah, it's just scary. But again, I'm not a scientist or a doctor and I could be wrong. so I'm just like to look outside the box. Yeah, of course. Did you ever go to any car crashes or any other serious stuff? Yeah, RTCs. I never went to a fatal RTC because a lot of fatal RTCs, if it's serious enough, it'll be traffic units that will go to it and the specialist roads policing team, they'll be the ones that deal with that kind of stuff. But I've been to some horrific car accidents but luckily people survived and I've been to people that have been hit by cars.

46:14I've been to all sorts of stuff. Me and a colleague of mine, we caught burglars in the act you know about half an hour after they burgled a place with you know 15 to 20 replica firearms they had on them and two samurai swords and so yeah i've done there's been so much stuff i could sit here and i could tell you like this is the thing that i did such as such a lot in such a small you know space of time that this is why i think i struggle even now like you know i i genuinely and this is going to sound really pathetic but i genuinely would do anything to go back and be in the police just for a day just to just to get that feeling again nothing compares to it it really doesn't yeah it's mad that even though they've done you yeah you know funny that yeah so going through it then and you're seeing all that that stuff did you not realize it was kind of building up and building up like a little itch or something internal where you don't realize it's going to pop no i don't think so because i think you you have your colleagues to lean on a little bit you know family and stuff this this is why this is why there's a lot of affairs in the police because and other sort of emergency services because you spend more time with your colleagues than you do with your own family so your colleagues become your family and this is this is why you know your family with the greatest respect my partner at the time didn't really understand she tried her best to be there don't get me wrong but she didn't really understand what i'd seen at work and it was very much like you you try and speak to the people that you work with because you know they've been through it as well they've been through a similar thing and they used to hold these things if you had these these horrible you know jobs that you had to go and deal with they used to try and get everyone into the office the next day after briefing and they would get everyone together and they'd get you to speak about it so there was these there was these little hubs if you like that you could do that or you get the force chaplain would come in and bring like cookies or you know donuts or something and then have a conversation with you to try and do that but you know there's also all these other you know charities like mine things like that they also give you free referrals to and stuff like that they do try but i think that it's almost like you build up a tolerance to it a little bit and then one day it just hits you all at once and i think you know i like i was always at the mind was you know i've been doing this for four years now and nothing's that you know i've not suffered mental health so i'll be all right i'll be fine that's not gonna hit me late down the line i should be all right and then you know like i said three years after leaving just one day bang and and there i was struggling to get out of bed and you know gagging while i was on my way into work because you know i felt like i was gonna be sick but nothing was coming out it's just i never understood mental health at first okay and you know maybe i took a bit of a dim view when i was working because the police these days do have a lot of mental health and you'll have people that will call up and it'll be the same people over and again and you'll hear the name come over the radio just think oh fucking not again but i think that was just because i'd never been through it myself that i i maybe took a bit took that view a little bit but you know I'd be sat there with them and I'd always do the job to the best of my ability don't get it wrong because you know mental health kills you know we know that and I wouldn't want to be the reason that you know I wouldn't want to turn up and show a lack of empathy and be the reason that someone goes you know what fuck this and takes their own life because that's not you know that's not my job my job was to was I had a duty of care you know I had to look after these people make sure they're okay but you know I would sit there sometimes and in my head I'd be thinking just look outside it's not life not that bad but you know it wasn't until I went for it myself that I went, this is what these people were feeling all that time ago.

49:31And I didn't understand it at all. And it's crazy. I mean, I did a charity in the end, me and two friends, and you're going to think I'm stupid now, but me and two friends, we crawled up Ben Nevis on our hands and knees. I mean, you're Scottish, you know Ben Nevis. But we crawled up Ben Nevis on our hands and knees for a men's mental health charity in 2023. And the BBC News took over it because it got that big. But yeah, that was just because we just wanted to raise awareness for it because all of us had suffered you know that was the point where i was suffering as well and um it was just we had to do something that would just i think we ended up raising about three and a half grand in the end but just something that we had to do that would would get get it out there and and you know get people to talk talk more openly about their mental health do you think there's the police need more things in place to help with the sort of battles and the demons like you say with the car crashes and the hangings and all the nasty shit that they see the same as the veterans that there shouldn't be any homeless veterans but i know a lot of coppers struggle with drink and drugs and abuse because of the things that they've seen?

50:24Do you think there's more things should be put in place for police officers? I do. I mean, look, it'd be wrong of me to say that I don't think they try, because I do think they try. But I just think that we live in a generation where, okay, yeah, we're opening up about it more now. But I think because you've got to remember that it's only recently that especially men have started to open up about their feelings, you know? And I think that we live in a generation now where it's only just starting to happen, whereas, you know, and the police are trying to catch up with that as well, you know, and other organisations are trying catch up with that as well you know NHS and that kind of stuff because I think years ago there didn't need to be a reason for mental things to be put in place in mental health because it wasn't that much of a big thing no one really spoke about it you know whereas now it's just all of a sudden over the last what 10-15 years it's just jumped out of nowhere and everyone's struggling now you know everyone's got their struggles in life and you know people are suffering with depression anxiety you know PTSD all these stuff that they've seen and you know I think that it's just a lot going on that they just can't there's not enough resources to put into helping people with mental health yeah the whole world everybody's struggling with mental health but sometimes i look at it as a way we speak about it most more than ever but yet we're struggling most you know sometimes i think we've just got to buckle up accept it and push through it you know because i think the more we can speak about it and more we can speak about feelings and emotions it is a great thing to face things to adjust that to say this is how i'm kind of feeling about this matter but i think the more we speak about the problems i think it just reinforces it yeah and then it just makes us out okay i'm fucked up instead of gone you know what fuck it life goes on and as sad as it is but i think back in the day it was a lot more tougher you know i think now we've just got so many distractions that we do just because nobody feels good enough nobody feels important we always feel as if it's a constant battle i can only speak for myself but i know enough men to know nobody really ever knows what truly goes on in their minds we still don't even know yeah you know like if women had a fucking day in our minds, they wouldn't be able to handle it.

52:22They don't understand the pressures. Now women get pressures as well and women I believe are the source, the centre of the universe. They're amazing the way they carry a child, what they do but for a man's mentality, what we have to go through on a daily basis, trying to protect our kids, our missus, our family, trying to provide for them, trying to stay a little bit fit, trying to not drink or not take drugs or not fall off the path like there's so much pressures to try and keep your job and keep up with bulls like it is a lot yeah you know and we always feel as if we should be doing more do we believe we're a failure am i good enough for my partner am i good enough dad no doubt women feel like that but i just think with the rise in suicide with men it's clearly something not right there's clearly something i miss yeah you know and i don't know if it's masculinity i don't know if it's purpose I genuinely don't have all the answers because people take their own lives for so many different reasons but I do think alcohol drugs social media okay the three main indicators but then again women can be a big indicator as well you fucking get a bad burden fuck me these bastards these can fuck you over you know but see when you were doing all that were you loving your job then were you a good copper was there any sort of signs of you being a troublemaker or doing any bad shit then was it any no do you know what i i always i always got praised for for my work and and paperwork wise there was a little joke on the road to that i wasn't really good at paperwork and i hold my hands up i hated the paperwork side of things because i'd rather be out there doing stuff doing something you know i'd i'd literally walk in the morning or walk at the start of my shift and i'd go and grab a pair of car keys straight away as soon as briefing's done i'm out in the car and i won't come back until the end of my shift you know if i had paperwork to do i'd do it in the car on the your mdt your police phone that you can access all the systems on and stuff i'll be sitting there doing that you know i remember sat up one one day when uh i was sat up doing it dealing with a job and and there was a job around the corner and i thought okay i'll put the phone in pocket and i'll go to this job next and i'll do both jobs together because i just loved being out and about i love that presence of of engaging with people and dealing with certain people and you know if there was a job especially when i got my response ticket you know because you do it takes you a little while to get your blue light ticket and you know you're trying to get to a job you're trying to fight through traffic and you haven't got your flight ticket so you just sat there you know like you're in your car and you know you got you got to get somewhere fast and you can't there's nothing you do about it because there's not enough there's massive intakes coming in and not enough people to train you up to drive so as soon as i got a response ticket call you wouldn't see me in the office i'd be out all the time in the car if there was nothing to do i'd be being proactive i'd be pulling over cars trying to find out what people are getting up to you know try and stumble across something you know watch the mpr cameras going off and you know if the car comes past it's got no insurance go and you know try and catch up with bit and pull it over and see what it is because nine times out of ten if a car's got no insurance they're probably up to more well there's probably more that they're up to no good you know it's not just going to be the insurance side of things and i loved it like i loved being out about you know i just loved i loved policing you know it was just the way that i did i just just being out about like just just yeah sierra has all the best active and outdoor brands you need from athletic stuff like a full court pickup game swish to athletic stuff like a half mile stroll.

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56:49So when did the madness start then? When did you get put under investigation? Well, I mean, I went through a few things, you know, so I went through, there was a thing people might remember it because I'm still getting recognized for it now. But back in 2019, there was a video that went viral of me rapping in a police car talking about county lines, drug dealing. And that was my way of trying to engage. you know I always wanted to educate people rather than just be a bully in a police uniform do you know what I mean so I had this idea I remember me and a colleague were looking after someone in custody who was you know given the whole if you close the door I'm going to hurt myself and all this so we had to sit with him for god knows how long he was in for but I remember writing this rap about county lines and knife crime and stuff and I thought it was very current at the time there's a lot of it going on and I wrote this rap and the intention was to go to corporate comms within the police force and say this is what I've come up with can we do it as like a bit of a engagement thing on social media and they're very on board with it you know they had to get a few people to authorize it and stuff and that's what they did and you know it's probably where it first went wrong for me because what they'd said to me was make sure that goes nowhere because we need to make sure that we're happy with it before it goes anywhere because if not you put yourself in a bit of a position now i was stupid okay and what i did was i sent it to a couple of friends and said look don't send this anywhere but just have a look at this this is what's going to come out soon and i remember coming back into work after a set of rest days and the inspector at the time was an old sergeant of mine and i walked into the office first he said was cool you can wrap can't you and i was like what what are you talking about i've seen the video of you on youtube i was like what are you talking about anyway all of his rota was still working because they're waiting to do the shift changeover and they've got it on the desk and they're watching it and um it had reached i think it had gone someone had obviously leaked it to youtube from YouTube it had gone onto Facebook and Instagram you had these massive pages like I'm just bait that was sharing it and you know within I think it was within 24 hours it had something like 18 million views or something across all the platforms and um that was where it all went wrong for me initially is that I got pulled in got pulled into the office by the inspector and he went we need to talk about this and I was like yeah it's fine he was like what's happened I sort of said to him this what's happened like you know I should have waited but you know I just sent it to a couple friends and it was stupid and yeah lo and behold I got pulled in uh superintendent and then let's give me a uh it was called a professional discussion it wasn't really a disciplinary but it was like a you know a detailed discussion on paper as to you know this is why yes it's good and and they said to me that the the superintendent at the time said to me said it's fucking good he said you know you've done it's a really good thing and the fact that it's got like 18 million views or something just shows that it has reached out there and he said to me but you know because you've gone about it the wrong way we've got to do something about it and and it was it was crazy because i remember sitting in in court i went to stain's magistrates court to give evidence and usually you get put in a witness spot in a witness section with all the with all the victims and witnesses and they didn't have any anywhere available for me to go so i sat in this in the main reception area and this this guy from london come up to me and he was like i know your face and i was like i don't recognize you and he was like he's like are you the cop than the rapper and i was like the rapper and i was like the last thing i wanted was to be recognized for that because it did get to a point where I was a bit cringed out by it, you know, because at the time it was a really good idea.

59:57And then I just started cringing me out and all this. And, you know, I was getting nicknamed on social media, people calling me like the notorious P.I.G. and Piggy Smolls and all these kind of nicknames and stuff like that. And it was quite funny. But yeah, he said to me, he said, look, me and me, he said, look, you know, I'll be honest with you, I'm part of the South London gang. And he said, me and the boys watched it on YouTube. And we said like, it was mad. They said like, we'd never admit to your face. It was good. he said but trust me they're all talking about it on the street and I thought you know what at least it's reached the right sort of people do you know what I mean they probably didn't change their lives but at least it really at least it reached those kind of people um but yeah that that discipline would have been the first the first time it sort of it sort of I sort of found myself in trouble so why for that though is it because you had the uniform ones because you were on duty like why why you get in trouble for that it's because of the way that if they were to put that out they would have had to put things like location of interest markers on my address so if someone took a dim view of it and they wanted to target me which is massively far-fetched yeah it was probably never going to happen but they have to put these these measures into place for safety and welfare so they would what they said was because it got released so quickly they didn't have a time to put the loi markers on my address they didn't have time to give me a little safety briefing and stuff like that and um that was why they just said because it went you went the wrong way of doing it they said you know we were always going to release it or at least we were always thinking about releasing it because you went the wrong way around it about it we just we just couldn't we just couldn't we had to do something about it and that's why i got the disciplinary for it should that not have been your indicator then yeah to send any videos because that's what done you over that's why you're sitting here and anything goes podcast yeah to try and clear the air you know yeah that's the majority of people are sitting here it's because they've fucked up and i'm fucking trying to put the pieces together but should that have been were you naive then to that oh yeah and trusting too much because me you're thinking fuck that because listen whether it's your friends or not friends fall out yeah you know girl friends can run away with your phone take phones and for you know there's group chats like things can go viral within a minute especially with so many group chats facebook tiktok youtube instagram like we've got a massive now connection in the world that anything you can put out there would that not have put the sort of blinkers on to go okay i'm just going to stay in my lane not annoy anybody not do any videos but if i do do a video it's a more private game it should have done it should have done and looking back at it now you know i reflect on it a lot you know looking back at it now that should have been an indicator and i had i had you know colleagues of mine like one of my best mates on there especially and he still gives me grief to this day about it we've only just got back in contact because obviously while i was going through this investigation i wasn't allowed to be in contact with anyone so we just got back in contact a couple of months ago and even now he's like god i fucking told you didn't know and it's like yeah do you know what you did you did and um you know I should have listened back then but I think I was very naive I was very young in service and I think maybe I joined a little bit too young I think I needed that bit more life experience first to really know what was right from wrong and or not from what's right from wrong because I always knew what was right from wrong but more so you know not not sort of being blinded by what I want to do as opposed to what the right thing to do was definitely what was the next one uh that was kind of it but I think this is where it kind of went a bit south for me because my intention then was to look for a new department you know i've been on response for i think three and a half years at this point or three sorry what did your bad see um i can't remember the conversation i mean i imagine he probably would have said you're a bit of a dick that's probably what the conversation my dad's like you know but it wasn't really that much of a big deal at the time you know because it was it was close to being released anyway so it wasn't like it wasn't like i hadn't sought permission first you know i'd got the permission that they were they were happy that they were they believed they were happy that they were going to use this for social media, but I unfortunately had it released before it was due to be released.

1:03:39So I think that's why that's probably why it was it wasn't taken as seriously as disciplinary because it wasn't like I didn't check beforehand. It was more just it got released earlier than it should have been released if that makes sense. So the next one? Yeah, um, it was more, this is where I kind of, I don't know if it's right to say I rebelled a little bit, but it's kind of where this is what kind of like made me lose patience in the police a little bit was that i i wanted to join firearms i wanted to go down a different route of like tutoring or firearms of the two sort of main departments i wanted to go down and i remember if you go through a route of of changing departments you have to get authorization from your line manager at the time and my line manager was the same one that had put me forward for this disciplinary for the rap so i remember going to him and saying that this is what i want to do and he said to me at the end of this disciplinary he said to me this will be the end of it now we won't talk about it again and i was like okay fine and then i think it's three or four months later i put an application in firearms and he called me into the office and he said i can't accept it and i was like well how come he said i think it's still too soon from from what happened with the rap and i was like in my head i was like well you said it wouldn't it wouldn't affect me anymore you know you told me that that was the end of it but it never was i think that that kind of then got me put me to a point where i then sort of had a bit of a i still did my job don't get me wrong but i think i kind of had a bit more of a um you know i felt like it was against me a little bit and i kind of just sort of stopped there and thought you know i i'm starting to lose lose the enjoyment for this a little bit now yeah and and and you know there's there was certain things that went on um where another another example you know i'm covered in tattoos you know i got a tattoo on the back of my head um back on back of my neck up the top of my head and i checked the tattoo policy to begin with first of all and i said you know to put a message into the standards department and said can i just get uniform um restrictions please can you let me know exactly what it is i'm allowed to have tattoo wise and they said well you're allowed to have the policies change tattoo policies change now you can get a tattoo anywhere on your body as long as it's not offensive and i said well this is what i'm thinking of getting this is where it's going to go is that okay and they said as we said before policy states get it wherever you want as long as not offensive so i went and got it done it's quite a big piece and um i remember coming into work and and the line manager pulled me in, the same inspector pulled me in and he said, what's that in the back of your head?

1:05:53And I said, tattoo. I wasn't trying to be funny, I just tattoo. And he said, did you get permission for that? And I said, yeah. And he said, show me the permission. So I showed him the permission, the email that I had from him and he said, well, I need to check with them because I don't think that's good. I don't think, you know, they probably don't know that it's going to be that big. And I said, well, in my head I'm thinking it's a bit late now, oh, you can't get rid of it. And yeah, he sent it off to them and they came back and they said, yeah, it's fine. And it was just little things like that.

1:06:20And then, you know, I got moved, I got moved to different rota. I sort of knew that there was an issue there with me and him a little bit. You know, I got moved from the rota that I was in, working in Guildford in Surrey. And, you know, I got told, or we got told in briefing that there was a massive shortage on one of the other areas that we covered. and um he said oh i want someone to come forward and put themselves forward to go there for a little bit obviously no one came forward it was a really sleepy town no one really wanted to work there and i got pulled into the office about two weeks later by my side at the time and he said to me um of course moves for you and i said i only know what it is you're moving on and he said yeah and i knew where it had come from and it's just little bits like that where i started i started to not enjoy the police because not that i felt targeted in a way but i kind of felt like everything was coming was everything was just falling down on me slowly and it was like i mean because i wasn't of rank i didn't there was nothing i could do about it just had to accept it as part of my job and i think that's where i've never had a problem with authority don't get me wrong you know i've always respected you know people of people of rank especially in the police when i was in that in that situation but i think i struggled a little bit with um the way that it was coming across you know i sort of felt like i couldn't really do anything and i felt like i was stuck in response and you know i wanted to venture out i wanted to you know build up more of a knowledge of different departments and deal with more exciting things you know firearms shoot a unit and i never got that opportunity and i think that's kind of where it all yeah but a lot of people may not think you're entitled because of who your dad was you've got their art videos went viral yeah you're getting tattoos they're probably thinking who the fuck's this cheeky bastard think he is so even though it's a good thing who your dad isn't right but i would be thinking we need to keep him in check because we've let my way with x y and z everybody else is going to feel as if they can do it you know even though you're not yeah you're just genuinely it's it's minor stuff but it's enough for them to think we can't let him away with it so they're doing you would have had more of a magnifying glass on you to try and keep you in check to make sure you're not using your dad to get away with everything that everybody else gets done for you know yeah yeah no i completely understand that and i do see that as well um you know not not necessarily from the other pcs that were my other consoles at my rank but maybe officers of rank probably that you know you're wrong they probably did think that you know to a certain degree.

1:08:34Yeah because I've spoke to enough coppers not everyone gets on. Yeah yeah. You know it was you know now listen whether you're a mason or not I'm not asked but there's a lot of secret societies and handshakes in the coppers and everything and there's their own little clique you know and if you're not in that clique you're a pest and you're getting told what to do and you're not getting up the ladder as fast as the other guys who are in the same club you know so it's like I say I respect the coppers I've got many friends in the coppers now which i never thought i would have i've got more fucking copper friends than i have criminal friends like it's totally went 360 but it's because i understand their duties and understand their care like there's a lot of dickheads everywhere and everywhere in life but to actually want to do that job it's a different ball game because i was at my friend's trial a few months ago as well the coppers are trying to clean up the streets they've caught the criminal but the way they were getting interrogated as if they'd done something wrong the copper as if they planted something and they're sweating and they're all over the place and you start questioning are they are they dodgy because it's they've got they've got the evidence they've caught them red-handed but they're flapping in the dock and that's all over the place the two officers were contradicting each other's stories it didn't make sense and i'm thinking doing that job because not only you've got to catch the criminals but then you have to go to court to try and get the conviction of the criminals that you caught.

1:09:55Yeah, yeah, 100%. Exactly that. It's crazy. It is. Like, I've never seen anything like it. Like, the big man was, wouldn't say he was flapping, but it's like, why would I be lying? Yeah. But the QSC is kind of all over him. Yeah, but you could see the pressure as well. And he's thinking, fuck me, I'm telling you the truth. But he had to repeat himself on many occasions. But while you're doing that, you're forgetting what you've said, what you said that two minutes ago. So then as if you've got your lying, like it's heavy stuff. It's mind games. Like it's not just seeing the dead bodies and catching criminals, you have to go to court as well.

1:10:30Were you ever nervous going to court and giving evidence? Yeah, I mean, I was very fortunate actually. The only time I ever gave evidence was via video link. I never actually had to go. I went to court physically a couple of times, but I was always told that I could go because I was no longer needed. So I remember the first one i did was uh i remember i working with you know as a doorman i knew a lot of doormans still and i remember being sat there on a friday saturday night if i was finishing my shift i'd go there and i'd sort of stand there and talk to the doorman for a little bit before you know going back to the to the um station and handing my keys over to a night shift unit and then going home but i'm being sat there one night and uh i was talking to a guy and i heard the sergeant that had just taken over was screaming over the radio for assistance and i was only i was trying to listen to where he was and i was only a matter of 150 meters from him where he was he'd driven around the corner in um in guildford and he found two kids smashing up a um nando's windows and um i ran over there but obviously by this point because you've got 20 kilograms of body weight on you i get there and i'm out of breath and i remember grabbing over this this guy and it got two both the guys up against the the window and he had one of them handcuffed but he only had one set of handcuffs that i'll put some cuffs on him and as i went up there to put the handcuffs on this kid's like smashed me in the throat i was a little bit took the wind out of me a little bit so we ended up having a bit of a bit of a scuffle with um with them both and got them on the floor and i had to go to court for it and um he tried to claim assault against me that was his defense was that i'd assaulted him but obviously luckily you have uh police cctv operators who watched in the town cctv at the time and had it zoomed in so he was never going to get anywhere with it but it was funny because i remember this story where i'm trying to give my side of the story and i remember being absolutely grilled by this this um barrister or solicitor if you like because it was in magistrates i'm getting grilled by the solicitor i'm sitting there thinking god that was that was tough you know that i thought that was a defense this if it wasn't it was the the prosecutor so i remember sitting there going call at least the the prosecutor's out the way or the defense out the way i can get to the prosecutor that'd be nice to me now and then i realized actually the person i've been speaking to is the person was actually on my side they're just grilling me because they knew if they could grill me first before the defense get their chance grill me, then I'm already prepared for it.

1:12:36So it's really clever they do it. Really clever. Yeah, you're up against, it is a battle, it's not easy. It's never an easy conviction, especially if someone pleases not guilty. They'll fight it the whole way. Lawyers are switched on now. There's so many loopholes everywhere. Is that one of the difficult things when you've got, think, okay, I've got the conviction, I've done my job, but they still get off yeah yeah i think so but being a response officer you don't really see many cases through because the cases that tend to go to you know crown court especially where you got the trials and stuff like that you know that most of those are cid or or you know detectives and other roles you know we don't really see that through you know we we just give our arrest statements you might have to go and give you know you might be cross-examined for your arrest or you know for some exhibits you might have seized or something like that but you never really get to see the trial through so you know and i don't think i deal very well in that situation i'm quite a confident speaker i'm quite a confident person but sometimes if i'm in if i'm in a situation where i'm anxious my memory just goes you know and i'll be sat there going well i don't remember what happened here but um yeah that's what that big copper was doing but it made him look guilty yeah i'm starting to think he set him up that's what that's what people in the court were thinking yeah but you don't know the judge must see this shit day in and day out but it was a very uncomfortable thing i'm thinking Fuck me Like He's got you on toast here Yeah And he was flapping And he had the hat And he was moving And I'm thinking It's just crazy man That's what I thought Fuck being a copper Yeah You know There's so many different levels To being a copper That nobody sees You know We only see the coppers On the street And they're catching criminals You don't see What goes behind closed doors The mental health The struggles The battles The having to pick yourself up To go to work And then having to go to court And then having to do paperwork Like it is a lot And plus they get paid buttons well honestly you know it's pure shape yeah yeah so the thing that was all over the news the media the four things what are they so um the first offense uh well initially there was a lot more but the offenses in which i actually end up pleading guilty to in the end was the first one was my uh partner at the time her brother was being threatened by a guy who's in prison he was saying that when i get out of here i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna stab you essentially i'm gonna I'm going to kill you.

1:14:51And I'd received an email from Probation Services. Everyone had received it, every officer in Surrey had received it. And they said, oh, this guy is being released from prison. And I looked at the name and I remember thinking, oh, okay, yeah, I remember that name. But anyway, it wasn't until five days later when he was released that I actually messaged my partner's brother and said, just to let you know, so-and-so is being released from prison. He should be on a curfew but just be be mindful when you're out and about now the reason that was dealt with as a criminal offense is because i found out that information as a form of luxury because i had access to a police email so they're saying had i seen this guy out in the street brain of mind i hadn't prevented anything from happening you know he was he was released five days before i told you know my partner at the time's brother that he'd been released they were saying that because i found out through the the way that i did that was the reason why it was deemed as a as an offense because that was the first one how did they catch you um well when they when they took my phone off me so they they ended up getting hold of my phone um as a result of uh an associate of mine getting arrested and uh so you've tried to help a family member yeah yeah exactly i've no issues with that yeah yeah not at all um and that was that's the way that one was so what was the second one second one was uh when this friend of mine was arrested he was arrested for a for drug of drug related defenses and i had everyone everyone and their dog messaging me trying to find out oh can you find out what it is you know what's going on you know we've just seen him outside with a load of police officers what's going on and obviously me being me being the the friendly guy like everyone trying to trying to be everyone's friend you know trying to you know act for kudos essentially is exactly what the judge said it was i've messaged a load of colleagues at the time and sort of said to them you know this is what i believe's happened you know do you know do you know about this guy i think my friend's been arrested you know can you help out can you let me know what's going on and they've said to me that because i had used my position as a police officer i've essentially abused my power my position because i've managed to be in contact with people trying to ask about the what what what's happened what the offenses are that he's been arrested for they're saying that um because again it's a luxury of mine i i shouldn't have done that that was the second one so just by talking to police officers to try and find out about someone's arrest that had no concern of mine you can look at it in a different way what information is they try to get is he involved is he doing gear is he is he a criminal you know like is he trying to pass on information where it gives them one up on the coppers because back in the day we used to have scanners like my uncles and that used to steal motors so they used to have like a scanner but it could radio into the coppers so they could know if the coppers were coming yeah you know and there's only one place you can get those scanners is from coppers very true yeah but um yeah but they can look at it in so many different ways especially if you've got the wrapping especially if you've got trying to find out you're trying to give some of their heads out to someone who's just out of prison and then so it doesn't look good when they start adding it all up what's the next one the next one was a covid offense so essentially what's happened is i i've this is me just being a bit of a dick really being a bit stupid and what's happened is i remember i was out in the car as usual and i got a phone call from a colleague saying um can you come back to the office i've got a job for you perfect job for you i was okay cool so i've come back to the office and this colleague was unlike duty at the time due to an injury so he couldn't go out and about and he said um we've got a gym that's been been someone's called in the gym and said that the gym is still operating during this is during lockdown okay he said um i've tried to ring him there's no answer can you go there and can you um you know go and make sure that no one's doing anything this shouldn't be doing make sure the gym's not operating now at the time i'll go to the gym okay i wasn't allowed to go to the gym because of covid lockdown and i was pissed off because you know the gym was another massive factor for me that helped me get over what i'd seen at work you know that's my release going to the gym and i remember at the time there was a lot on social media there was a gym down in essex um in basildon and a really really good gym but what happened is they had police at their address every single day and they were just filming them putting social media filming them posted social media and what i didn't want to do was go to a gym where i was intending to have a completely normal conversation with the owner about staying closed and be filmed and put over the internet so on the way there i've tried to ring him i've got no answer now then i've contacted a friend of mine who also owned a gym and sent him a voice note and being billy big bollocks just trying to be everyone's mate said uh god fucking ain't never gonna guess what just been sent to a gym to close them down they're not gonna believe their luck when i turn up and shake their hands for staying open and that was it was a completely off the cuff remark that i was just trying to be a bit of a dick i was trying to you know be like look at me i'm a copper i'm everyone's friend and when i actually got to the gym i remember sitting outside in the car and a woman approached me now the gym looked closed okay but obviously i couldn't be sure now when the woman approached me she um she said how can i help you i said um yeah i'm just looking for the owner of this gym and she's like i'm one of the owners and i said okay perfect so i'm still outside talking to her and i said to her um sure what is it i said that someone's so i said someone's grasped you up someone said that you're you've got the gym it's you're operating you're open during restrictions you understand covid restrictions means you can't be open and she said yes we understand i said look if i'm honest with you i'm a gym goer i'd love to be in their training but you know just be careful i think the word i said to her was be very careful because it seems like someone's grasping you up okay she said that's not the first time the police have been called out to them so her her reason to me that someone would have called in is she said oh we have got staff in there but there's a staff meeting going on and where you could see at the top there was windows you could see people sat around the table you know quite a distance apart and um she said oh there's a staff meeting going on i said okay fair enough now she said to me do you want to come in and have a look so you can check for yourself or something along those lines and i in my head i'm thinking if she was up to no good and there was people training the gym she's not going to be asking me to come in to have a look at the gym because she's going to be trying to keep me away from that gym as much as possible so i backed it off and went no no it's fine don't worry about it just um you know be more careful in the future got in the car drove off now when i got back to the office and this is one thing that police will understand here is when you have a job and it's on the system you have to have it authorized to be closed down to be put taken you know to be filed away from the system so sometimes you over explain certain things to make sure you've covered everything that every possible avenue they could ask you about welfare safety that kind of stuff so what i'd done is and looking back at it now it was really stupid really stupid but what i'd done was i had written on the report that i'd been inside and checked when i hadn't and because i hadn't been inside and checked they tried to do me for falsifying a report a report that wasn't a report that wasn't a police you know criminal report it wasn't a police report that was going to court or anything like that but it's still serious enough that i've i've lied on a report so the way they look at it is if you've lied on this report what other reports have you lied on fair enough so you know i understand that from that point of view but i didn't i didn't want to go guilty to that for a long time i i went not guilty to that for a long time but that was more because of the whole government situation, you know, like I said earlier on, parties, the government having parties and stuff.

1:21:46I thought, well, why the hell am I going to sit here and take a guilty plea for COVID restrictions when the government are out there having parties? They're all shagging each other, you know what I'm saying? This is the thing, isn't it? You know? Fucking wankers, kiss each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking shagging and they're horrible cunts, you know what I'm saying? I'm not anti-euphoria where I hate everyone. I just hate the way humans are being treated and I hate the way humans are being misguided yeah you know like we don't have to live life this way we can live a life in peace and bliss and all religions all colors can work together but we've got so much divide we've got so much hate between our own communities because of social media because of what the government portray because of what the media portray that doesn't have to be that way and that's why i get pissed off because like you say people are locked down banging pots and pans is like a celebration obviously they say it's for the nhs but it's not you're embarrassing yourself because you're standing at the door buying fucking toilet roll banging pots and pans celebrating what being locked down for a virus that didn't exist it was a flu you know this deadly virus what just eventually walks up and disappears people were getting covid jabs boosters wearing masks and still getting covid yeah yeah you know like the full dozen Pfizer made over a hundred billion like it's it is frustrating because you imagine people losing loved ones because of this Can you imagine people being suicidal because of this?

1:23:03But can you imagine people losing their business because of this? But yet it's kind of forgotten about because it's just new drama, it's new news, and we forget what they've actually done to us. And that's what frustrates me because people are good. The people who followed the rules were doing it in the best of their ability and because they cared about other people. You know, so it's not that everybody's stupid. They were just so full of fear. They wanted to follow protocol to try and save others. You know, not only that, I think it hopefully doesn't backfire because there's so many theories out there and conspiracies.

1:23:35Hopefully we've come through the worst of it and there has been a rise in turbo cancers and heart attacks, but hopefully everybody will be fine. But people talk, I think I've heard people say they've fucking got now Bluetooth DNA and it's changed their DNA. Hopefully it's not that deep because I've had vaccines as a kid. I've got a BCG. I've had flu jars back in the day when you thought it was normal at school. But then again, we're all fucked up, so maybe it must do some damage along the lines you know so you've been done for that yeah next one this this one this one's the one that i i've left till last because it's the most embarrassing one for in my opinion um you know every people i've told have laughed at it but it is an embarrassing one so i'd this was in relation to i mean all of them were misconduct public office offenses you know it's a it's an offense that covers a wide area of different things you know mps can get it done you know police all these different people in a position of trust essentially now this one was we got a call and i was with a i was with a new officer at the time we got a call and i was i was showing him around that it was like an assisted living place there was nobody on site but it was the elderly and they had these buttons they could push if they wanted emergency help now what happened is this guy had pushed a button and the people couldn't get hold of him when the nurse has been around there to look for him he's not there so we've turned up they've called it as a as a welfare check um concern for safety and we've turned up and i remember we forced entry um because we had a we had a worry that he was potentially in there um hurt i think actually looking back i think the the nurse that turned up couldn't get in the property and that's the reason why we forced entry but anyway we managed to get in the property and he wasn't in there so the the decision was made to start searching the property to look for anything that any clues that we could identify as to where he might have gone and you know i'm searching you drawers, bedsides, tables, cupboards.

1:25:23And I found this cupboard in the living room and in there were some porno DVDs. And no one has porno DVDs anymore. Porno mags, porno DVDs, they're all gone. And it was just like a split second of just losing my - Professionals. Professionals, exactly. The right word to use, completely right word to use. And I started filming them. Not the DVDs, obviously, I didn't put them on the TV or anything, just had the covers up you know. And I remember at the start of the videos me and I've got my phone up and I've got my face showing I'm saying you know, God look at this like this is crazy like it's not every day you go into an old man's house and find these you know find these pornos.

1:26:01I started reading out the names of them and like I couldn't remember what the names were but you can imagine what some of the porn names were and you know someone like Debbie that's Dalish you know that old Dalgis and stuff like that but and it was just a stupid five minutes where I'd just been a bit of an idiot bit of a dick and um i'd sent it to this friend of mine who got arrested and you know that that video when i found out he'd been arrested that's the what the first thing i thought of was shit that video's on his phone and lo and behold that's that's from my understanding that is what began this whole investigation into me and that is why i'm sat here today with you know a two-year suspended sentence and yeah it's it's madness but it was more it was more that i'd i'd what i'd done and i felt disgusted in myself a little bit because i felt like i what i've done there is i've breached a person's um you know privacy privacy in their own home and and you know at the time it was just a bit stupidity but actually looking back at it i'm disgusted in myself now for doing it now listen i wouldn't be too having yourself listen it's not as if you're putting a pair of his pants on her no of course you've seen a copper just last month man he was he was in the women's house and he put a pair of pants on his back his back pocket and that's fucking creepy shit you know what i'm saying listen you have got a sense of professionalism you've got to kind of respect where you are we get it but i'm the same sort of nature i'd be thinking oh fucking dirty bastard look but i get it you've tried to have a friend i try to have a laugh with your friend it's a porno it's not that deep but like you see you've got to have professionalism at someone else's property because then people would question what else does he do when he goes into these properties but for me you're probably your own worst enemy yeah you're sending it a guy who's active who's a fucking criminal you've sent him a video of your face which is fucking you're a copper you should know that's evidence bank he writes there's nothing like your own worst enemy that your dad must be thinking like what the fuck are you doing have a laugh send it on snapchat send it on something where it disappears instantly you've recorded that with your fucking cutum and then sent it to somebody who's a risk anyway so that's both don't look good but it's not that deep so i wouldn't for me personally it's not that deep but obviously people might go yeah that's fucking terrible other people will laugh but it's a fucking porno video you've not you went and videoed the guy in the shower or put his pants on or put them over your head like that's fucked up i wouldn't have you sitting here if you're in there sniffing drawers do you know what i'm saying but yeah i can understand where you're coming from because your dad's the elite is at the top of his tree yeah and you've not just embarrassed yourself you embarrassed the family yeah you know so what happens after that so how does it all come crashing down well it's funny actually because the initial initially when i was arrested so that me getting arrested was i was driving into work one day um i was due to start i think a late shift and i got pulled over i remember coming underneath the bridge and when i come under the bridge there was an unmarked car with its rear lights on and i didn't recognize the car we know all the unmarked cars because we drive them all yeah i didn't recognize this car so they pulled out behind me as i've gone past them and they pulled me over and i thought maybe i was going a bit quick on the dual carriage way i don't know what it was and i remember just being sat there and they just slapped some handcuffs on me and they said you're adam and i said yeah and they said um i need you to listen to i'm about to read to you and they pulled out this this document and um started reading out to me um corruption offensive i got arrested for two offenses it was corruption and um well corruption with no no no payment so they call it a certain thing but i don't know what it was and then um improper use of police systems and policies and procedures and i remember just on the way into custody just sit just thinking in my head what the fuck is going on here and i remember getting put in the cell and you know it's embarrassing i'm just being booked into custody and i'm in my police uniform because i'm on my way into work you know and i'm wearing my you know i'm not in the full kit but i've got you know my black top with police on the side of it and now my child's a police it's embarrassing and i remember sitting this interview and they genuinely believed that i was involved in class a supply they believed that i was heavily involved with this criminal gang and they they'd done like a whole spider map had surveillance on me you know it then became apparent in the in the interview that they'd been like watching me in surveillance for weeks and weeks and weeks try and build a picture of my life and it must have been fucking boring for them because i just did was go to work and go to the gym and that was it but it it very very quickly i mean i was on an investigation for four and a half years that's a long time four and a half years is a long time but what they actually ended up getting me with they ended up i ended up getting charged with eight misconduct public office offenses so the cps charged eight offenses initially went to westminster magistrates court and this was in 2023 2023 first court appearance and i couldn't plead guilty or not guilty because the prosecution hadn't given us any documentation so what a wasted journey that was because we disclosure no disclosure no evidence nothing at all so the magistrate was really good actually she said how do you expect mrs davis to plead to plea here at a plea hearing when you're not having provided any evidence so she said like i'm going to maintain you some good credit go to crown court a journey to crown court for the month after i remember coming out of um magistrate's court and there was a photographer outside the front and they'd obviously always tell said to me like be really careful be really careful and i'd walked out and they said oh we can get you a taxi if you want we'll get take at the back door i said no it's fine like you won't know who i am well little did i know there was a reporter that was in there who said this is what he's wearing this is what he looks like and as soon as i've gone to walk out i've seen him dart from one side of the thing to other and he's right in front of me and he's got his camera and he's snapping shots.

1:31:23And this made BBC News at 10. And I remember sitting there watching BBC News at 10 and my face came up and I just broke. Like honestly, it killed me because I was like... The way the media portrayed it was that I was heavily involved. I was corrupt. I was giving criminal gangs information, which wasn't the case at all. I didn't give any information to any criminal gangs, apart from the fact that I was trying to find out. The only information I gave was... It was never sensitive information it was trying to find out why i may have been arrested so i could tell other people potentially why i've been arrested and it was like you've spun that massively to make me look like this this god-awful person who is really corrupt and all this kind of stuff and yeah that was that was crazy but we ended up going not guilty to these eight offenses in crown court what was the headlines in a paper um i can't object it was really funny actually because it's going to sound really really strange but at the time this first all started i didn't trust the process i didn't trust the the officers that were investigating me at the time because one of them was someone who was i was very close with in terms of a closing work closely worked partnership with and i didn't like the fact that he was heavily involved because we'd already had issues in the past um but once he left that department and it was taken over they i'll tell you what the officers that investigated me were fantastic because she called me up so one of these sergeants took it over she's fantastic she's brilliant she called me up and she said look you got caught next week and i said yeah and she said i need to make you aware of something um we're going to be putting out a media something in the media about what's going on because we have to let the media know beforehand in case they want anyone to attend and she went but i'm calling up today firstly to make you aware that it's going to go out there so it's not a surprise and i want to read out exactly what we're going to put out and i thought you know what fair play to her because you didn't have to do that you know she could have just been like fuck this guy he's guilty whatever let's let's just chuck it in the papers and just let him you know let him sit there and and in sorrow or whatever but yeah she called me up so it was mad but the media the way that me like i said the way the media said it was that I was giving information to criminal gangs that I was just they portrayed me to be some like awful person that was you know taking money for stuff and it was bad like involved in class a supply and all this kind of stuff and that really that really affected me because I was like well this is friends and family that don't really know the ins and outs of what I'm going through here I've not been found guilty yet I've gone not guilty and yet you're still putting all over the papers and I didn't really understand I didn't really understand or thought that was that was fair but ended up coming to a deal a year and a half later it got put to a trial it's gonna be a 13-day trial and um we ended up a little bit just before the trial we ended up coming together my barrister my barrister and my solicitor were fantastic as well and they came together and they said right we can take this to trial we'll probably win most of them but there'll be some that we might not might not win he said and they said with the covid one because i was adamant i didn't want the covid one right they said with the covid one you could get a jury of young people who are in the same boat as you in the same position as you they didn't like covid either or you can be you know a jury full of older people who have lost friends and family to covid who are going to look at you like a piece of shit and then you're more likely to be found guilty so in the end we were coming up the plea deal no one really wanted to go to trial i didn't want to go to trial it was you know the thought of like you said earlier on with the guy in the box the thought of being stood in the box and being cross-referenced and stuff i would have hated that every single minute of that you know no one likes that so yeah we ended up we ended up coming up to a plea deal we actually offered we actually offered the prosecutors five offenses out there out of the eight and they took they took four because they wanted well we offered them four initially they wanted one of the bigger ones and we said well we're not giving you a bigger one initially and then he said well what about if i take one of the smaller ones away and you take one of the bigger ones and we ended up taking we gave them five and they took four in the end so they actually let us have one off what would have been the worst case scenario if you get found guilty for everything you're talking prison time yeah yeah so i was very lucky to escape so what the judge had said to me was really yeah honestly honestly yeah and and and how much prison time the judge the judge has said to me that had i've gone guilty in the first day of trial i would have got two years and three months straight inside because he said public money we've we've cost us a jury to get a jury in yeah you've gone guilty at first day of trial but we still would have had to spend money public's money on getting a jury in you know all this kind of stuff um but because we had we brought it we'd brought a truck we'd brought a date forward to um go guilty he said because you because i haven't had to spend we haven't had to spend public money on a jury i'm going to go spend a sentence and i can see that you're remorseful i can see that you didn't do anything malicious it was all you did things out of kudos for your friends and i was very fortunate actually i had the judge that i had is is one of the most respected judges in in in this court he he essentially is southwark crown court and he was very much this the top dog in that court and he i wrote him a letter beforehand And I just broke my heart out to him basically about my son and, you know, how I've just managed to get a mortgage.

1:36:00And, you know, I'm on the right side having left the police. I'm working again full time. You know, my life's good. My life's really good. You know, I'm doing working with local charities for the gymnastics club. You know, trying to get people into kids off the street and into the gymnastics club with the local police force. And I think he kind of could see that actually, yes, I'd been a bit of a dick and there'd been certain things that I'd done. but like you said not as serious as what people might have thought having read the media or the news but actually but yeah i was very lucky he ended up giving me um i think i got two years suspended sentence and over a thousand pound court costs and 108 hours community service now but by this point he's telling me all this stuff and i'm going just just throw it all at me i'll take everything i'll take anything you want now just not prison time and i yeah i pulled my eyes out in that courtroom it was horrible you know i remember hugging my son for what i thought be the last time for a little while.

1:36:53Me and his mum had discussed that if I go to prison, he's not coming to visit me because we don't want him to see that environment, which I totally understand. But God, it broke me off, honestly. Just hugging him for the last time the night before and then just get on the train. I was crying my eyes out on the train. I'm mad enough to admit that. I cried like I've cried like a baby. My dad was in bits, my partner at the time, my ex-partner at the time, she was in bits as well because she came. And it was just, it was off and my best mate was there he came it was just it was horrible it really was is that how deep it was yeah it really was it really because yeah i'm laughing because i'm thinking it's fuck all i don't know the codes of the coppers i don't know the laws with who you can talk to who you can't but i must imagine there's got to be some duty of care yeah who you speak to who you surround yourself with it's like a prisoner comes out he's out on license and maybe speaks to someone who's active he can get a recall yeah just for association so i'd imagine you would have knew all that though so that's where you can, like I say you've got to look at it from the other side you've done these videos, you continue to do these videos you continue to be surrounded by these criminals you continue to send videos to these criminals like it doesn't look good because that's what you've been caught with so you'd be questioning what's he done off camera, what's he not done, do you know what I'm saying what's he saying, what information is he giving, is he giving criminals heads up, is he getting backhanders you know the way the coppers work, you've got to look at it from every angle from me I'm thinking that shit's funny if I do an upon no but obviously you're going to get people saying it's not funny well it's public perception isn't it so this is this is the way that that I was very fortunate in my case there was no victim as such you know you could say the the elderly gentleman was a victim but actually the offense in which I was charged with is a um it's an offense against a state essentially so it's it's to do with offense against it used to be Regina when it was the queen in charge but obviously now it's the king I don't know what it is now but you know there's no victim so there's the judge doesn't have to appease a victim you know there's no victim in this case so therefore they haven't got to appease the victim so you know but public perceptions you know and and what he was saying is that most police officers will get sent to prison because it it shows the public that they are taking zero tolerance and also it shows other police officers in future if they're thinking about getting into involved in crime or they're thinking of doing being a bit stupid on duty and get themselves in trouble that actually yeah you can go to prison for this shit and and that's that's why i was very fortunate to to avoid prison i was i was being told by everyone my solicitor was my solicitor made me pack a bag obviously as they have to make you my solicitor and barrister were saying like we're going to get a custodial here and you know prepare yourself we're going to get a custodial and fucking hell it was awful what about the old guy with the pornos that obviously what happens then if you've got a video his pornos he's sitting there just wanking himself he's asleep every night who goes to him who tells him that somebody has to go to him and say listen there's a video with somebody watching your pornos i don't know because I don't know if they could identify who it was.

1:39:42I think they could just see that clearly I was on duty at the time of doing it. They could probably have looked back at the timestamp of when it was, you know, they've got all these electrical equipment now that they can, you know, do this kind of stuff and they probably could have worked it out. But I don't know if they would even bother to go and speak to him. They probably would have just, you know, they would, they, because regardless of whether he wanted to support anything anyway, you know, it's the police and I'm a police officer at the time. They're going to do an investigation. They're going to do it victimless.

1:40:06They're going to do it as, you know, an offense against a state rather than offense against the person directly because that's what it is you know misconduct the public office so because he could have thought was sued as well potentially again but again that's the video it's public perception isn't it if that video gets out and i'm of the impression and and i'm still very very strong of this impression that all of that probably could have been dealt with as gross misconduct it didn't need to go to a criminal investigation but i think because they went so deep down the rabbit hole initially thinking that i was this you know involved with these this massive you know organized crime group you know and thought i was heavily involved in in drug supply and stuff you know the rumors flying out i remember being in the gym and hearing a rumor that from someone that all the police officers in a different area of the place i worked in were talking about how i've been found with three kilos of cocaine under my floorboards in my room well you know i can't go on facebook and go just to let everyone know you know it was it wasn't the case but it's crazy but again there's no reason why i want to get my story out there because there'll people that they won't even know what's going on do you feel as if someone's threw you under the bus what you've done is wrong okay it's but for me it's not you're not fucking taking shipments and loading your car and money laundering and giving people valuable information that they're maybe getting surveillanced like it is petty stuff yeah you know it is very petty but i can understand why you've been prosecuted as well but it's potentially there's been a bit of hate a bit of jealousy maybe that somebody's put the the fields out or maybe dropped those secrets he's get the information that he's doing this where the investigation has got bigger than what it should have some of the statements that i got to read so obviously one of the evidence came through to me i got to read the statements how many against you none of them were really against me there was there was one there was one that i didn't like the sound of because the way she perceived me and this was another thing my barrister looked at and was like yeah we'll use this there was one person who i didn't really i think not get on with her and the police but we never really saw eye to eye we're ever rude to each other you know we worked to get really well together but we just we for some reason there was just a bit of a bit of a clash there and um all of these that i think there was about 19 to 20 maybe uh maybe low 20 um statements you know of character references from officers that work with me saying we've never seen any any idea any um examples of corruption from adam this is the kind of officer he was he worked hard he was a bit of a dick on duty in terms of you know know he didn't always take his job seriously in in a sense of he was a bit a bit of like the the rotor clown if you like but he worked hard so it and that kind of played into exactly what my defense was but actually i was just acting for kudos i wasn't really taking my job as seriously as i should have done i did a good job but i fell below the standards expected of me on occasion yeah but anyway this this statement was was like um adam's lazy he um he never does a good job when working or something along those lines.

1:42:59We've had to have conversations with them multiple times before. But this is one statement that stood out from this person that I didn't really get on with as opposed to the other 19 statements from people saying that I was actually a good police officer.

1:43:12Actually, I'll read it out actually because I remember a text message that I got from a sergeant or an sergeant of mine at the time when I was going through the whole court process. And that was tough in itself but then he sent me a thing saying something along the lines of you know i i don't know what it is that's happened and quite frankly i don't care you're a fantastic officer i'll tell you what can i read it out of course you can so i've got it on here i want to get word for word because no yeah that was when i got sent that i basically went on went on social media and talked about mental health and was like look i'll let everyone know i've been struggling recently but i'm speaking out about it because it's the right thing to do and he sent me a message and he said hi adam just seen your facebook post i hope that things could get better for you mate you're a top copper it was a shame i had to come to a close i never knew what happened and quite frankly i don't care either regardless you're a proper copper and always did a good job for us stay safe brother and that was a sergeant slash inspector at the time and i replied back a little message just saying like you don't know how much that means to me thank you so much that you're not listening to what the media is saying you're going based on my own merit of what you saw from me and then he replied back keep going you know there's so much out there you're young enough to find a whole new career it might not come straight away but you'll get there um he said the job's pretty fucked at the moment if that makes you feel any better.

1:44:21And then he said, just keep that determination. You've always had, you got this. And I thought, you know what? That was nice. And he was someone who was always very much to the book. He was a proper to the book, but actually to get a message out from someone like him, you don't know how much that means to you when you're going through this shit. Yeah, it does help because listen, brother, I go through it myself with the media and courts and I know my story. I know my side, but we're living in a day. First of all, people who don't like you want to believe the lies in Anyway You'll get people on the fence Who can be easily manipulated By the media Who are going to believe it So you've got a big percentage Of people who are against you Straight away If you look at the comments If you look at The other things So it is damaging Because you know Wait a minute I'm a good guy I've not done this What the media are trying to portray And that's the frustrating thing Because If you're guilty Anything I fucking do in life I own up to it I'm the fucking man I'm not struggling I'm doing well Everything's good I don't need to shy away Do you know what I fucked up I've done this I apologise But it's when you haven't To justify things you haven't done that's a different ball game when you're trying to have people assassinate your character because of the life that i've created as well over the years i do well and i do to treat people well you'll never get anybody really speaking against me you've got the odd ball bag the odd wine everybody does but when the media come yeah and they try and tarnish and they try and damage it must be difficult was it difficult looking at the comments was it difficult looking at the media were you doing that sort of stuff yeah because that makes your mind worse it's it's a it's a downward spiral isn't it unfortunately i remember at the very beginning i i was really wound up by the way the media were portraying it because it wasn't the way that it was they're very clever because they they don't want to get done for defamation of character so they'll be very careful how they word it so the way they worded it wasn't necessarily wrong but they'd worded it in a way that made it sound 10 times worse than what it was and i remember um when i got charged i remember the the you know the police put something out they've got to show that they actually done something about it they put a post out about me and what i'd been given what the judge had given me what was said at sentencing and stuff like that and i remember the comments from people in in in the local area who had seen that and some of the comments were like oh not another one and and one of the other people were like um oh um look at that the judge is the judge is looking after him by not locking him up and yeah you lock him up throw away the key and i'm sitting there thinking you lot know fuck all about this you know what the media want you to know you know let me get my story let me tell you exactly what happened let me tell you you know from my point of view i'm not trying to justify any of it any of it here don't get me wrong but let me explain it exactly how it happened rather than how you're reading it as it happened do you know what i mean so it's just but i think i think once you start doing that it's a downward spiral you just need to take yourself off social media and just and i did i deactivated my account for about six months you know i've got quite a big well i've got an okay social media following and i i had to deactivate it for six six eight months because i just couldn't anymore.

1:47:06Did you have much backing? Did you have people fighting your corner to say this is bollocks? Or could you, could you, because you've been caught red-handed, was there any, was there any fight that you could have put up anyway? Well, they were, they were very, um, they've got, the way they've got to do this investigation is they, they tell you, you can't speak to anyone, any employee of the force. And initially I'm sitting there saying, well, can I speak to my dad? And they said, we'll have to find out and let you know. Could you imagine that? Yeah, you can't speak to your dad actually, no, you can't because works for the force.

1:47:36Later on they were like yeah of course you speak to your dad that's fine. But because I couldn't speak to anyone for well I was on bail for I think 10 months in the end and after bail you're at least under investigation but no one wants to talk to you because the investigation hasn't stopped. So I didn't speak to my best mate for four and a half years. We only recently got back in contact about two months ago. We probably played golf together, we said about golf earlier weren't we? We played golf together it was just it was amazing honestly it was so good. but yeah just didn't speak to him four and a half months now you can imagine i've gone from being in the police where everyone is you know your your friends are your family in the police i haven't really got any friends outside the police that's when i leave so when i leave i've got no friends you know the friends i used to have before i joined the police you know apart from obviously the ones that i see i'm in this mess because of well not because of that's that's wrong but the ones that i was obviously associating with in the gym i don't speak to them anymore because of the way that this all worked out you know and and And, you know, obviously now I'm aware of certain stuff that they get involved in.

1:48:36I don't want to be involved in that. I don't want to be, you know, especially now I'm not in the police, I don't want to be dragged into that. You know, I'm on a straight path, you know, I want to carry on being, I don't want to go, I don't want to go through that court process ever again. It was awful. You know, that was enough to scare me off forever. You know, I'm never, never stepping foot in that up again. Never. It makes you question the guys who are in court every other fucking one. Like it just, but even though police should get help, there should be more help for criminals because it's not as if these criminals are bad they're a bit deranged they're a bit they've been raised in the broken homes there's no love there's no structure there's no purpose there's no discipline so even though they keep repeating the same cycles it's we need things to break those cycles to change their mindset because many people go to prison and some of them are the best teachers when they come out yeah because they've learned from the mistakes not everybody learns there's a high percentage who re-offend you're obviously not going to be the other side of the percentage who doesn't re-offend hopefully but then again you are naive brother do you think you're gullible would you say you're gullible because you don't come across as like you're gullible but the way i'm seeing it is could you have been getting used as well with people close to you and you might not have seen it that way i mean it could it probably could have got to that point i do i do sit there and wonder you know maybe had i've had had this have not come out you know would i now be in a position where i was being used but i like to think that i'm i'm i'm pretty on the ball with with that kind of stuff that you know i had people that there was a couple of people messaging me asking me to do certain things like there was one of them was like oh can you run a car through and i've gone yeah no worries i'm back in on thursday i'll do it then and this is obviously one of one of the reasons why that they looked into me but i never did that that was me just trying to be everyone's friend by being like let me appear to be helpful even though i was never intending to do that you know and obviously that didn't happen because otherwise i would have been charged with that as well but that's that's what that's the kind of person i am i think i was a bit of a people pleaser and i think that's kind of why i ended up getting into the the the position i did or the situation i did because i i do try and be everyone's friend i try and mix work life and pleasure and as an as a police officer it's very very clear now you cannot do that that is going to it's going to bite you in the ass like it did me that's your downfall brother try to be liked yeah i would have seen no is just as strong as any word on the planet i thought that i could take on you know the the the negative the negativity towards police officers is it is a massive high right now and i thought me being me thought yeah i can single-handedly take this on i can make everyone like the police again you know and and it didn't happen and here i am the other side again you know that is mad though bro like i say what happened to the guy who you were sending the videos to whatever happened to him he he was um dealt with for uh drug offenses and um he got i mean his was going on for a long time as well and i'm pretty sure i saw in the media like i said we don't talk anymore but i saw in the media that he got um i think he got community service yeah so it was it was noise efforts beg but so it's noise efforts beg shut man no of course it's not of course it's not but you know i'd imagine the way that they treated me i'd imagine they probably thought it was on a much larger scale than probably what it was the devil trying to put you in the same child sheet as him well when i not the same child sheet but when i when i was put into my first interview when i was taken into custody they had this spider diagram where they had me in the middle or I can't remember if it was me in the middle or it was like an up in the middle and they just had all these people and how they knew each other so they had me in this in this spider diagram with all these different people now because I was wet to the door and most of these guys were ex-doormen or ex-people that used to come out of course I was linked to all of them in a way you know I trained in the gym with a guy who was a was a naughty naughty kid you know he was naughty kid back in the day you know did a lot of time in prison but hadn't been in prison for like 20 years and I was training with him in the gym and they were like they tried to put that to me well you he's an associate of yours you know he's a criminal associate hold a minute he's he hasn't been in prison for 20 years how is that a criminal associate okay yeah he might have a criminal record i understand that but he's not a criminal at the moment he's not a criminal now you know he's got a job he's got a family this is all stuff he's done when he's a kid yeah he's 40 years old now he came out of prison when he's 20 do you know what i mean it's like but yeah it's just this is the thing as well is that you know i've made these these associates aware i've made these the police aware of these associates or some of these associates names when I first joined and I got pulled into a meeting when I was I think really really young and seven.

1:52:53I think I was only in for like three months and I got pulled in for a meeting and I mentioned this person's name and what they should have done there and then was say, and I think this is the reason why we didn't go guilty to this because I think this would have got thrown out of court, but they said, well you haven't told us about your criminal associates. And we said, well actually we have because this person's name I was pulled in for a meeting about when I first joined three months in because of um some I can't remember what it was for now but there was there was something there was something anyway so um they they didn't tell me to put him through as an associate to vetting so I didn't bother they just said be very careful keep my arm's length kind of thing now after he got arrested in that October because I was aware there was obviously stuff on his phone that video of me I put a new vetting form in and said I just want to meet you wherever new associate and because you've got I think you've got 12 or 14 days from the person being arrested to notify the police of that associate.

1:53:43I did it within I think nine days. So I was, I was covered, but they, they tried to, they still tried to put that to me, but I was covered because I'd already made them aware. It's just, you know, yeah. Associates should be so careful of. And it's understandable. Like I said, you're your own worst enemy. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's not just one or two things. It's silly little things, but the way the coppers have got a duty, a care for people, you know, and you have made mistakes and you are guilty for some of those things. What was it like when it came to our head? what was it like when it was over it didn't feel real initially you know i walked out that courtroom i was crying my eyes out my dad was crying his eyes out my best mate was my best mate wasn't crying his eyes out my best mate was my best mate my best mate he's um a bit of a trouble bit of a troubled childhood lovely lovely guy single dad um he's a fan he's a fantastic dad honestly he's got a five-year-old now and he's just like everything he does is for his kid he's such a such a good guy like probably changes life around but he um he's obviously been in around the court system you know a lot um when he was younger and i remember all of us are sobbing our eyes out my brother's there crying i'm crying my dad's crying and uh he's just running up and down the hallways going yes i told you you'd be fine it's just like no no not now let's just get out of here first let don't do this now let's get out the building because you know i just it still didn't it still hadn't sunk in that actually i'm okay here or not okay but i've got a really good outcome here you know i've got a suspended sentence i've got hours community service i've got a fine that i'll just and pay right now downstairs.

1:55:05But it didn't feel real even until maybe two months later, because you've been dealing with it for four and a half years. It's been hanging over you. You've not known what your outcome is going to be for four and a half years. I didn't know my relationship with my son struggled because I didn't want to get too close in a bond. And then just knowing that if I ended up going to prison, I'd be leaving him. And that's one of the hardest things to deal with you know and that that broke me a lot you know and and even now like you know I'm going through the community service side of things now and it's like just trying to get it started and and trying to because you know I'm around people now in this community service environment I'm around people who have been in and out of the system their whole life and I'm don't want to get in the system do you know what I mean but yet here I am having to do community service with these people who none of them know that i'm an ex-copper because you imagine finding out that i'm an ex-copper you know that my community service would not be worth going to but you know it's just i just i want to get it over and done with so once it's done like my probation is done now you know i went through a probation period but they've done a new thing now where if you're low risk of re-offending then you only have to go for 16 weeks and then after 16 weeks it's all managed out of house so i haven't got any probation meetings anymore so that's all this i've knocked off about 35 40 hours already i've still got another 140 to go but were you ever suicidal um if i'm being totally honest no but only because i knew i couldn't be or or not that couldn't be but i knew that i had people relying on me and i'm i like to think i'm quite a strong-willed character i don't get me wrong i've been at the point i've been at low low point you know the lowest point of my life where I did sit there and think I could understand why people commit suicide that I got to that point the point where I could understand okay this is what people feel like when they want to do it but I knew like you know my son um you know I had a partner at the time who we had a mortgage together I was I can't leave her in the shit you know my son and the way I also looked at it as well what really kept me going was my solicitor kept saying to me you're still young you still get your whole life ahead of you yes this is a this is a shit part of your life but you're young enough to get a new career and I thought actually do you know what she's right yes I've been struggling with this now for you know it started when I was 24 and it didn't finish till I was 30 you know it's almost six years this thing was going on for in terms of like age um but yeah just my mental health was in the pan but yeah I'd be lying if I said I was never suicidal but I could understand why people commit suicide going through these kind of things it's mad my life takes isn't it so what's your daily routine like now i mean i'm a lorry driver now so you know i i have a great you know i have a great great job you know the people and this is the one thing when i went to this interview to get this job i was honest in the straight away and they said oh how can we left the police then and i said oh here we go right i thought i might have said them because i'm not gonna get the job now but um i said to them look this is what happened um went from beginning to beginning to end like i've done with you today and they said okay we'll be in contact and i thought i fucked it here no worries i'm gonna struggle to get a job here left went to another job the next day as i took the job the next day in this other place the the the place i'm at now called me and said um we'd like to offer you the job and i'm sitting there going did they listen to what i said to me yesterday or you know what's going on but when i went in there they said look we've got people that work for us you know who've got records criminal records and and they said as long as you don't do anything while you're here i'm more than happy to yeah don't be going to fucking some glory hole bro and video yourself for fuck's sake you know what I mean fucking hell if I've got you back on here in two years because you've videoed yourself getting a sookie in some dirty toilet on your way to France mate I think listen you've only got yourself to blame but I can tell you're a good guy you've been raised well fucking naive though but you can't trust anybody no matter who it is no matter how close you are like it's such a fucked up world and living in a world of views so if they feel as if they can get clout from it they're going to throw you under the bus from it and that's just the way it is now no matter if it's family best friends partners people are always saving up clout because of what could happen in the future to protect themselves for living in a very doggy doggy world where people have no morals anymore there's no respect but then again there's some of the crimes you did deserve to be guilty they are minor it's not as if but for to get in two and three years like that would have been heavy you know that's a big burden especially with your dad and other family members and I was thinking everybody was protected they helped their own I always thought that about the royal family and now they're all fucking through under the bus and potentially Prince Andrew could be getting the jail nobody's protected I I spoke to a friend of mine who's a prison officer because I wanted advice you know I got to the point where I was like right what do I do and he said to me if you get if you get nine months or if you set up if let's say you get that 18 months you're gonna serve nine months if you get if you get anything that's going to serve less than nine months, he said, just go to the VP, go to the VP wing.

2:00:12And yes, you're going to be with a load of nonces and rapists and stuff like that, but you need to understand that it's only nine months. Okay. You just got to keep your head down because you're an ex police officer. And he said, the thing with you, you're lucky because you don't look like a police officer. You know, you're covered in tattoos, you're a big guy. You know, no one's going to, you're not going to walk into a prison. They're going to go, he's ex police, you know, not at all. He said, but you might get called a nonce because you don't be the VP wing. He said, that's nine months you can deal with that.

2:00:36You see, if you get any longer than that, just try your best to get into a normal wing and just keep your head down and try not to get in trouble. And that's what the plan was going to be. But luckily I didn't have to find out. See, I don't even think it's that bad for coppers in the jails here. But I think America's different. I think here's, nobody's asked. People just, majority prisoners just want to get their time done and get out. You know, and you're very on it anyway. You know what I'm saying? You're a unit. You can speak, you can talk. They talk, yes, you'd have got a few dickheads. but the last thing you would have wanted was to cause any more trouble and getting more add-ons so it was in your mindset that if you were getting three years you were going straight to the non-sues wing yeah i had a plan in my head yeah yeah which is even worse could you imagine like like just having a young child as well like and and some of the stuff that i'd heard you know that that guy that we spoke about earlier who you know his own child and that was the difficult thing for me was actually where am i going to go from here you know i'm going to be surrounded by these people and I'm going to have to try and I find myself in with these people, not in with these people, let's just make it very clear, not in with these people, but be around these people and just grin and bear it for nine months to a year.

2:01:48And that's difficult. And it's crazy. But I'm using it now. Now I'm actually working, ironically, which is really ironic. I'm actually working with the police again. Voluntary, of course, not getting paid. But I'm doing these speeches now. And we just actually filmed something. something got released yesterday in the force where I sat down and I spoke to the detective chief inspector of the anti-corruption unit and we just did some reflection and he wants it because I stepped forward to them and this is one of the things I said in the letter to the judge I said I want to because as you've said yourself the stuff that I've done is it doesn't seem very serious to an outside person but this is the thing other officers will fall victim to that because they will don't they won't believe that what they're doing is wrong and if I can prevent them from doing that that's what i'm trying to do now so i'm working with my old force um to do a prevent program to go and give speeches to to the new officers to try and explain to them what i went through and how easy it is to fall into that trap because that's what i want to do now i want to use it as a you know when i left the police i wanted it was obviously on a negative but i want to try and turn that around and try and turn it into a bit more of a positive or at least a better way of going out do you know what i mean for officers not to make this industry you did yeah but we're living in a society every second person's dodgy yeah there's going to be a family member that's active or a friend that's active or someone in your gym who's active, it's hard to stay away from criminals, we've got dating websites, we've got social media everybody's accessible, you know you're on dating websites, you don't know who the family of the girl is, you don't know who the man is, his background we don't know, so it's difficult and people are easily groomed humans are easily manipulated everyone, we can easily be, if someone's on their game, anybody can be confused, anybody can be blinded by the real fucking what the real agenda is you know you were somebody who was fit and healthy and you've kind of tried to be light yeah yes man and it's combating but you're nasty but fair play for trying to make amends and show people I wouldn't say you were corrupted I just you knew deep inside it was wrong but you still went with it because you thought it's not that bad and no doubt a majority of coppers would give people heads up anyway family members listen they're on you be careful of him because in Glasgow we get Scotland we get Osman warnings If someone's life's in danger I think they reversed The Osman Mosmans Now I had two red out In my 20s A threat to life But I think they reverse it now So instead of The person who they think Is going to get harmed They go to the person Who they believe That's going to be doing it And say if anything's happening You're getting took in first I think it's all changed now Okay Which I think is fucking fair Because if you get an Osman They don't tell you the name You're thinking What the fuck is going on Yeah But they've reversed that So they go to the person Who the information they think is going to do something.

2:04:29I think anyway, I've been looking at this as many years ago. Yeah. But life's good then you've sorted everything you've came face to face with that. How are you feeling today? Really good. Yeah. I really appreciate having me on because, um, you know, like I said earlier on, like I've not had a chance to really give my side of the story. You know, there's, there's still people out there that will believe what the media write. There's still people out there that haven't really had a chance for me to listen. And yeah, life's great now. Life's great. I'm back doing gymnastics again. I'm competing.

2:04:54I did British championships a couple of months ago and you know again like in my i'm 31 next week and i'm still competing in gymnastics and good one yeah but just smash it but even anything you want anything you do productive the papers will spin it as the corrupt copper but use it to your advantage fucking write a book build your social media you own it you know i've interviewed murderers drug lords bank robbers fucking serial killers yeah they're thriving they're going to speak in prison schools making money off books tv deals it's not that deep like i say i'm just an outsider I don't know the codes of conduct and how you should behave in the coppers.

2:05:28I understand you shouldn't be speaking to criminals. I understand you shouldn't be fucking videoing out in the job or stealing someone's fucking underpants. You've never done that, but I've seen the video of that creepy bastard. And you must see that and think, you know what? I'm not him. It must make you feel a bit, yeah, at least I'm not sniffing drawers, you know? But end of the day, bro, you've done what you've done and the best thing about what you can do is put your hands up and go, you know what? It's over now. I've done it. I've admitted it. There's nothing you can do. What can anybody do?

2:05:53I won't make excuses for what happened. I mean, I want to write a book. That's going to be what's next, I think. But you're lucky you weren't fucking friends with me, bro. When you were in the coppers, because I would have been fucking terrorizing you with funny videos, and getting you to do more. I thought it would just be in a buzz. Do you know what I'm saying? Imagine having a copper pal and he's sending videos with somebody, somebody's pondos, you know, like that is working so minor, man, but I do understand. I do understand the consequences, you know, plans for the future, bro. What's your plans?

2:06:22The book. I want to, I want to, I want to write a book. Again, the thing for me now is now I can go down the route of actually being a dad now. I've never not been a dad, but I can actually start to look to the future now. Before, the future was uncertain for me. I didn't know how long I was going to get in prison, if I was going to go to prison. Like I said to you earlier, I didn't really want to, not I didn't want to, but I felt bad carrying on that bond with my son a little bit. So the relationship kind of fizzled out slightly. They weren't as close because I wasn't doing as much with him but you know ever since this whole court thing's been over and done with now like i'm just trying to be the best version of the dad that i can be you know i'm taking him out doing stuff with him spending money on him you know he comes over to stay and you know it's just it's just great like it's just it's so nice that i can actually do that now and not have to worry about the consequences of what could or might what might happen in future but yeah carry on the gymnastics playing rugby now you know keep myself busy with stuff you know just keep myself busy because i feel like when i'm busy i'm happy and if i'm not busy that's when i i start to get the itch of i need to do something here you know i need to do something he's gone holiday or something like that you know but yeah that that's the plan keep keep talking to new officers and try and get involved you know like i said at the moment it's all very much in-house with my old force um i've obviously managed to maintain quite a good relationship with some people in there so being able to go back and speak to them and deliver these speeches but eventually to do it with you know other forces as well and venture out to different forces who might want me to come and do it.

2:07:48Like I said, I'm lorry driving all around the UK at the moment. If I'm up in near Newcastle and they want me to come in and do a speech, then at least I'm up that way, I can do it. And it'd just be nice to give something back in a way. Take what happened to me that was negative in my life and try and spin on a positive and try and help other people not make the same mistakes and fall down that trap of ending that career that you worked so hard to achieve. Yeah, it's just education, on it. It's just understanding the rules and listening, a joke thinking this is mine and nothing's going to happen.

2:08:17But this police is serious. It's a serious job. You can't have people fucking around, you know? So it's understandable, like I say, but for anybody that's struggling, brother, for anybody that's in a life or struggle, what advice would you have for them? I think you need to, the first thing you need to do is, is, is tackle it and you need to, and you need to identify it first of all, because I think a lot of people won't identify necessarily, really but I think you just gotta like what I did I mean I had I took the leap you know when I was struggling I took the leap and I I never really wanted to be that person who had a therapist or a counsellor but you have to do it sometimes you know and and you go for the NHS can be quite a lot sometimes you know there's a big big waiting list so I think sometimes you just gotta you just gotta bite the bullet and just go for a go private and that's what I did now I tell you what she was fantastic with me the one I had you know I only spoke to her once once a month but well initially it was a lot more but once a month and it's just good like you know just the struggle like you said earlier on you know I was never suicidal but I understood how people could be in that situation and I think it's really important that if you are struggling you do reach out you know there's there's so much out there now you know it's one of the reasons why I did the charity event that I did was because I wanted people to see that you know they're not alone you know there's other people out there that are struggling and there's other people out there who are in a worse position and I know that's very difficult to say to someone who's struggling because they only really care about their own you know they don't care about what anyone else is going through they've got their own issues but i think you've got to look at there's always someone out there who's worse off than you and if you can find that person who's worse off than you it can make you feel better like i said we all make mistakes we all fuck up it's not the end of the world you know it's not the end of the world you've clearly faced that you're becoming a better dad you become a better individual for me just don't be so fucking naive you know i just don't it's easy i says and done no one because people can wither themselves in you think it's only a a bit of banter, that's a laugh, and before you know it, your world comes crashing down, you know.

2:10:06My brother, how are you feeling today? Yeah, great. Yeah? Really good. Listen, fair play for owning up to it, fair play for coming on and tearing your side, like I say, it's not as if you're making excuses, you fucked up, I hope I've had that. Yeah, yeah. Listen, you're paying for it now. You've had to rebuild your life, you know, but it would have been even worse if you were in the fucking nonsense wing. There might never be any coming back from that. Yeah. You know? I think you'd have had a bit more protection with the screws, surely, if you were an ex-cop you know surely you'd have put on a wing would have been more secure you know yeah maybe people was getting out in their sentences for you to be in nobody's what to cause trouble if they're getting out but you would have got through it anyway and no matter what it gets through it you've got to overcome it listen we're men we've got to deal with it whatever cards were dealt you know I'm going through some shit but fuck it I know I'm strong enough to put my head above the clouds and go do you know what I'm here to fight you know it's just life don't give up yeah it's always going to test us can't give up where can people get your social medias if anybody wants to send you laughing faces or fucking ask you questions or send you pornos that they've got how do people know what pornos we've learned from that lesson um yeah so social media for me um tiktok and instagram the two main ones um at the heavyweight gymnast um you know it's all my mostly my gymnastics content but um you know it's it's if people want to reach out if anyone's going through something similar i'm more than happy to give advice more than happy to speak to people you know i've been through it now so if there's anyone out there who is going through a similar thing just reach out to me and and i'll do my very best i'm not going to be able to help that much but i'll do my very best to help could you ever get your job back if you start helping the coppers and start educating people with the go he's learned his lessons or is your job completely done potentially i don't know to what extent you could you know you you get put i'm on the bard list now so any any home office organization or any home office led um you know yeah organization department i won't be able to go for now but you're on the bard list i think you stand there for seven years but after seven years it might be five five or seven years but after seven years you can apply to get taken off it and they can look into that and i like to think that with what i've gone guilty to i i could potentially have a case there but actually at the very other sort of the way i look at it now is actually do i really want to go back into that no you know i wouldn't mind doing it as a special again you know going back and doing it voluntary and not getting paid for it and do it like on a friday and saturday night or something you know if i'm sat at home and i'm bored but actually the way i look at it now is yes i do miss the job but at the same time i've i've had privilege of doing that job and you know sometimes in life everything happens for a reason and maybe maybe this is for a reason maybe yeah maybe something was going to happen to me on duty that you know and that's the reason why this happened you just never know do you unfortunately for me but looking from the outside you're doing perfect in the army i tried but as it's dark humor you can have a laugh you get away with a little more yeah you know and they're crazy do you know what i'm saying and they're doing mad you're just a thrill seeker you know some for the positives and some for negatives, but I'd think, man, he'd fucking suit the army.

2:12:51Because they're all fucking dark, they're all off their head. Yeah, it's funny you should mention it because actually when I left the police, I looked at the military, but it's how it was. Fawn Legion. Fall has never looked or tasted this good. Sweet Greens Fall Harvest Menu is back with seasonal favourites dressed to impress and made to be devoured. Warm roasted sweet potatoes, crisp apples, maple glazed Brussels and crave worthy flavours in the Autumn Harvest Bowl, maple glazed salmon plate and roasted bacon Brussels side. The season's most desirable menu has returned to Sweetgreen featuring fall's best dressed.

2:13:27Make your move. Order on the Sweetgreen app. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans. I see you. Avatar Fire and Ash is now streaming on Disney+. It's the film critics are calling the best Avatar yet.

2:14:09Go, go, go, go. A true epic and completely jaw-dropping. This is the only pure thing in this world. Return to Pandora on Disney+. It will be an adventure for the whole family. And watch the Oscar-winning phenomenon at home. This is sick! Avatar Fire and Ash, now streaming on Disney+. Rated PG-13. Well, yeah, I suppose it's a next level rap, man. Listen, go for it, man. Cause mayhem there and they'll get you on the podcast in five years. My brother, listen. Thank you very much. Thanks for coming on and telling your story. I wish you nothing but the best for the future. listen you've made your mistakes i laugh a lot as well just depends interview it's just to kind of balance it out and defuse certain situations sometimes you might get a bit emotional i'm just trying to have a good conversation where it's not too serious you know because it can be a very serious topic yeah but i like to laugh at certain things just to defuse certain things where you go okay and it makes things easier yeah so like i say it is funny some of the things but i understand you it may not have been funny for you but we can laugh at it now yeah at the time enough but we can but like i say i wish you nothing but the best of the future all the best with your family and take care brother thank you very much god bless thank you