The Honey Trap Robberies: Dressing Up as a Police Officer - Anastasia Talks About Her Life of Crime

33:32So obviously wherever all that money and drugs he's buried now, he's benefited off it. We haven't, if you know what I mean. So the third house you've done, what were you dressed as? This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro Plans.

34:11And we're back. Streaming on Peacock. May I present to you the award-winning staff of the Toledo Truth Teller. Slap me. Let's draw something loose. Ay, yes! I like that. The Certified Fresh Series returns. Your boss. You always like this? Or is this just an act? Oh no, this is mad. Oysters, everybody! There's a certain satisfaction when you work with someone. Maybe we could be a family. You sadistic pig! The Paper. New season streaming September 9th, only on Peacock. This show gives me a reason to wear. I said I'd be scarcing my top on, didn't I? My tights. My dolly shoes with balaclava on. So what are you doing going to the door with balaclava on?

34:50Yeah, just booting off the door saying, please, please, stay where you are. And then obviously that freezes on then, if you say that. Is it just drug houses? Yeah, only drug houses. Just taking their gear? Yeah, and their money. What did they get in the third house? Oh, loads of stuff. Bricks, big massive bricks like that. Kilos? Yeah, kilos, money, anything that was valuable would be taken as well. But then we got lost. We went back past the house again, but they took obviously all the Playstations and that. It wasn't just the drugs and the money, basically the house just got ransacked. so as I went back past the house they took the number plate and I was like they've took the number plate now and that was it it's the next thing you know there was helicopters basically feds on the ground helicopters on top and um I hid hid under a car but obviously you ain't gonna hide from from no helicopter are you I got dragged out and they're like please do your toesers and then if you know you're getting arrested with your arms behind your back back at back of the van you know you're doomed and then that was it then then I was remanded and then I ended up in HMP New Orleans and that was just the next level job that was.

36:00I couldn't believe it. So I went there thinking I was going to have all this money from the drugs raid and whatever. It turns out I only had a pair of pants so I had to walk on the whip ring with a pair of French knickers and a plastic knife spoon and fork and that was it. So what did you get? What was your sentence? I got five years for that but obviously I went guilty on the trial day. because I was going to go not guilty, but because they had us all together in the police raid the day before, obviously they've got all our names together, so I went guilty on the day, I thought there's no way.

36:36But actually all of us went guilty apart from the older one who was 35, because obviously he thought he was as cleverer than anybody else, and he ended up getting 11 years. So I'm glad I went guilty on the trial day, because I would have got slammed with 11. Could you not have thought that though, and said you were groomed or said you were kind of manipulated to do it? I could have said that but I didn't think of that at the time to be honest because I just thought that they were my friends. What was a copper saying in an interview? Were they just questioning you as one of them? Yeah, to be honest, yeah, yeah.

37:05Literally for the whole interview I just had my head down to the table. I didn't even speak to him at all. I didn't even say my name. To be honest, I was too tired after all that bloody... carry on. So did you get charged with three robberies this time? It was a great burger. Thyagoras is okay man. It's a great burger, yeah. I know I'm glad I went guilty on the trial day to be honest did you make a deal this time? no just went guilty on the trial day what jail did you go into? H &P Newham what was that like? oh it was very weird when I walked on the wing there was this he she and I've transgender do you know what?

37:42when I have to say the name and obviously if he or she sorry you know I love ya it was called Yemen that was the name of this woman but it was just like oh god I'll show you a picture after like that it was just like a bloke hairy legs beard like it just I was just like when I walked on the wing I was just like what the hell is this place do you know what I mean everyone there looked more like creatures I just couldn't honestly I just couldn't believe it I just thought oh my god I just couldn't believe it and then the name was Yemen as well but then her ID photo she had hair like long hair and I was just thinking so people actually get the change in jail don't they I couldn't believe it it was just horrendous it was horrendous in there it was just full of prostitutes I'd say prostitutes, tramps and girls that look like men and I'd say 90 % look like men so if there's any men out there that are writing to women in jail you ain't, they look like blokes I don't think any one trans should be in prison Actually there was actually one, there was actually a man with a penis that was in Newhall because he was sleeping with this other girl and he actually had a penis and he was in Newhall I don't know how he got away with that Some of them ended up getting pregnant Yeah it's crazy isn't it Yeah, there was a guy in Scotland who was charged with two rapes, but he got identified as a woman, and then they put him in a woman's prison.

38:58Like, it's a fucking joke. You know what I'm saying? You're a man, you're in a man's prison, no matter what the fuck you want to identify as. I don't care what the fuck, be who you want to be, but there's got to be some laws and regulations, you know, for people to be protected. But you can't be cutting about in a female prison with a beard. Exactly. You know? Exactly. Fuck's sake, it's weird, but times are weird. You know what I'm saying? Managing out of prison, you think, fuck's it happening in here? giving this shabby seeing that so what was it like then back in did you accept that as your life that what you were doing did you know that you were fucking up or were you still kind of still in denial still do you know what I mean yeah but I knew I wouldn't do it again like I've never done the same thing twice if you know what I mean but then I just thought like when I got out I just had to change then I just had to change change my life around who are you in prison with this time adult prison's different it's probably safer than why was yeah Newall I'd say was the nicest one do you know what I like northern people I think they're the nicest people around because they were so lovely in this jail so I was I got really close to a girl called Katie Hull and she'd been in there I think she stabbed one of her mates erm I did I used to get on with her really well erm my friend Nardine as well I've been with her through a lot of jails she stabbed a couple of people as well but obviously that Katie Hull she was older she was like 36 so i said when we got to the enhanced wing i used to sneak into a room because it was only like a roll check thing because you used to get checked out at nine o 'clock so i used to sneak out to a room we used to watch films we used to train spotting and that's when she taught me about hard drugs and obviously stuff like that because i didn't have a clue i was watching people smoke off foil and that and i didn't have a clue what it was i was thinking oh what's that i'm glad i didn't say can i have a bit i didn't have a clue but yeah um then i went to drake hall and in drake hall that's where i met you know the lost prophet singer no um ian watkins he's um basically got like 40 years um he's basically in a rock band he's got 40 years for um give um basically raping his fans kids and i was with woman a michelle if you have a read about it and she was on reception of drake hall so obviously i started talking to her thinking she was all right and everyone was like no don't get talking to her she's wrong and then obviously i found out she was one of the lost prophet singers fans and she gave her kids to him to rape basically i say i used to walk past the room all the time singing the lost prophet songs but i didn't really like the fact of sharing a toilet and a shower with someone who's done something like that so i got moved in the end i threw my dummy out the pram and got moved onto a different house because that's just disgusting isn't it how can you do that to your own kid is that not the guy got killed in prison yeah we got killed in prison yeah yeah killed well done to the person who did it about the two lads who did it yeah so what was her part he was she was given yeah she was giving her she was giving her kids to him to rape and obviously she was sexually assaulting him herself and sending him images and videos and whatever else disgusting why is she in with you that's what i'm saying i don't get that either but obviously on this house because there's no room on the other houses she She was on a house where the prison officers had an office on there.

42:09So obviously she could be watched all the time, if you know what I mean. So she was just constantly watched. She was constantly chauffeured around, etc, etc. So like Rose West, I saw her as well. Saw her in jail. I spat on her, actually. And they all done the thing. I dribbled on her. What was she like? Rose West. She just got chauffeured around as well, but she was quite rude. But no one would speak to her. But she had about five people walking around with her. But yeah, she's not a nice person, I heard. The way she used to speak to the officers as well But then again she used to get special treatment I used to think just feed us to the lions Because obviously the women are actually looked after That do them sort of crimes Then obviously men in men's jails Because men get dealt with, women don't I wouldn't even say men get dealt with They're in their special wings as well They're all recruiting each other They're all put in a fucking special unit And they're all protected to change their names These cunts are the most protected in the whole system I know They'll get out and they'll get a new identity and then new wives somewhere else because I've spoke to people who used to be in Grendon Grendon's full of them but a lot of people who were cat A went to Grendon to try and work down and try and get a lighter sentence and he used to all have to sit around a table and stuff with them like it's fucking mad like that would drive you insane that would make you want to commit more crime yeah 100 % you know in America I think they just get put next to each other I know yeah we need to be like America either castrate them or sort them out they're doing that in America I think they're saying they're going to start doing that here so you're in the adult prison yeah were you partying in there were you taking drugs no do you know what I actually wasn't I did make some hooch though but I did enjoy the hooch the hooch was good but then one time I did get caught with it and then I ended up losing my TV and sat in front of the governor so the governor pulled me in front of me and said what's this Anastasia I said it's apple juice she's like it's not apple juice it's fermenting I was like I just took it but I still got a TV but later I just got one of the nitties to give me one of theirs what sort of stuff were you seeing in prison?

44:11self harming was a big one because obviously you've got the pipe at the bottom people would just be toying the next round but then it was just annoying because I used to think people are just attention seeking because at the end of the day just put them on the half wing because they used to do it every night and keep you up or you'd just have mad people that would be banging their doors just This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports.

44:55Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans. And we're back. Streaming on Peacock. May I present to you the award-winning staff of the Toledo Truth Teller. Slap me. Let's jar something loose. Ay, yes! I like that. The certified fresh series returns. Your boss. You always like this? Or is this just an act? Oh no, this is mad. Oysters, everybody! There's a certain satisfaction when you work with someone. Maybe we could be a family. You sadistic pig! The Paper. New season streaming September 9th, only on Peacock. This show gives me a reason to laugh. Shit. Feet in everywhere is another word.

45:35Shitting all over the wall. Yeah, shitting all over the wall, whatever. People self-harming. Yeah, there's no point in trying to cover you. People just chuck in dirty tampons in the toilets and the bath. I thought, oh, well, not. I'm going to have a bath. So I went in there. So I'll clean it out anyway, and there's this covered in crap. The state of some women in there and the stenches as you walk past their cells as the doors open is disgusting and that's what i mean mental health's not recognizing jails either because obviously clearly they've got issues you've got people that have got orange peel dangling from their cells because they think it's an air freshener and stuff like that it's just mental smoking dried up banana peels as well i did try that one i don't recommend it why did you never try smack makes me a bit of a weird question but if you start dabbling in coke in prison you spend just enough time around it you end up then smoking it as well you know because i like my teeth and i've seen people how they end up looking and it just never appealed to me to do anything like that but then i think it was also the influence of katie hall from another jail who just said no but then i've never really nah i've watched too many films i've learned too many things about that no thank you what's the worst thing you've seen in prison um probably someone having the hot water and salt tricks in the face and also there was this woman called Debbie Hogg, rest in peace to her.

46:53She slit her own throat. She took that much spice. She slit her own throat on the wing and literally because I was opposite her, I actually saw it happen. And then obviously we had a little funeral for her at the chapel. I never really knew her as a person but I'll just say that I repeat respectfully because I had to witness that and to be fair I couldn't sleep for nights after that. That was horrendous. I would also, someone give me nits at one point as well. That was probably one of the worst things. My pad might give me nits because we used to lie on the bunk together at the bottom um and she struck straight each other's hair nothing like that on this occasion um and basically i literally saw her hair and she had like nits at the bottom and i was just like i thought i was itchy and i thought i said to her i said you've had them for ages so i was saying i started hugging everyone then on the wing i thought if i'm having them you're all having them and then obviously i sorted us all out and they were gone in the day but i was just thinking oh you don't know you don't know who to go near and there do you Smelly bastards My mum come on a visit and she was wearing a cap She was She was going to visit wearing a cap because I had nits At one point I was like oh for god's sake Did you have a bird in there?

47:58We had a couple yeah, they all used to argue over me As well to be honest We used to get little letters Little letters and that as well But yeah we had a couple in there yeah Well we don't like some of these girls in there A bitch as fuck To be honest I know some of them personally I've had them on the show But some of them are proper manly Yeah they are But it's just like What would you get with a man-man looking one? Wouldn't you just get with a girly-girl looking one? But obviously I did start with a boyish looking one Because obviously the boyish looking ones You don't have to do anything to them then It's just an easy job They do stuff to you and that's it It's like Nia Me and Nia actually We're going out with two sisters So I went out with one sister And she went out with the other So that was funny Were you a bi before you went in Or were you a lesbian?

48:45I'm a bit bisexual anyway, to be honest. Prison will enhance that. Yeah, he did, yeah. Especially women's prison. But men talk about men gay. For me, you're either fucking gay or not. Yeah, that's what I mean. Women are touchy-feely anyway. Like, I've done stuff with girls before I went to jail, so you just enhanced it a bit. And it's boredom at the end of the day, isn't it? We even made this tool before out of a pen, right? We've got a pen. Wrapped it round in tissue, put a plastic bag on it. obviously the girl used it on me and then it got passed around the whole wing so everyone else was having sloppy seconds on this thing that we'd made I was just like oh I was just thinking you lot are gross yeah that's filthies sorry mum sorry mum fucking nuts you know what I'm saying I'm surprised you never get more so what did you do it like make a dildo imprison and everybody was passing it around yeah yeah I was just thinking you've all got my slot Bastards, you all deserve to be in prison if I'm always.

49:43It was a good invention for me the first time, not for you lot. How did you survive then? Obviously, we're doing all that mad shit. How does the mind not completely go where you've actually stayed out? You know, because it's seeing that shit and being involved in that. It's hard to then overcome that. The thing is, because I think I've got personality disorder, I just feel like I can just be one person and just be another. So if I want to change, I'll change. but at the time I wasn't ready to change because I was too involved in that situation but to be fair it was my mum moving me away to a different town obviously that just changed my life because where I live now it's a lot quieter with the harmless people around there basically it's not like this city is it I live in a town now so it's just like you want to change or you don't but yeah I've got a change for my mum as well because obviously she's got secondary cancer and that is what I want to do.

50:37What other sort of people were young enough? The female prison? A lot of gangs from London were in like Drake Hall I'd just say it was just loads of nitties really and just trampy people but obviously you've got the youngest double murderer. There wasn't that many big names in there apart from like Rose West obviously Lorraine Thorpe there were just more nitties basically You tend to see that. The women's prison a lot of the biggest serial killers in that aren't male Yeah that's what I mean A lot of suicides a lot of deaths? Not really. Apart from that Debbie Hogg. I haven't really seen anyone else.

51:14I'd say the kids' jail's worse for more self-harming. And especially with girls as well. Girls are a nightmare in there. The lads are more chilled. I used to like it on the weekend because I used to go and visit them on the weekend. So you could take it in turn to visit each other's units. I used to go in the lads' unit. I used to think stuff and I'm going to unground with them instead. What about the prison officers? because you see now a lot of the female prison officers going into cells and doing things with the male prisoners oh there was one weird man actually when i was in rainsbrook's killer center and um he used to come in my room actually sit sit on the pipe and he's just stroke my hair while i was in bed and i think this is a bit weird obviously nothing else ever happened but then there was this other man he used to work on ledwell which was the enhanced unit and um he used to get really friendly with me and this girl this other girl but then when i got out i found out he was actually sending naked photos to her and then he ended up getting obviously arrested and sacked for it but you can just you can just tell which ones are a bit dodgy with you yeah but then you can either use it to your advantage or take it too far but i'm not the sort of person that would take it too far i'll just use it to my advantage and then be like right maybe somewhere else now yeah no i had a prison officer on a few weeks ago and a lot of people do get manipulated male and female prison officers i really end up bringing in gear to end up doing mad shit you know I think the women's prison would be more like that like the manipulation would be fucking through the roof yeah you don't have that many men though like the women officers that work there are more like butch lesbians that are there you don't actually see a lot of men officers I don't think it's more women officers that are there are they having affairs from my experience from when I was there anyway are they having affairs the female prison officers well the gym orderly was having an affair with the gym instructor but obviously that was a That was a woman.

53:06So it was like a lesbian affair. But it was just blatantly obvious for everybody to see. But obviously the girl she's having an affair with wasn't actually gay either. I think she's in there for stabbing a boyfriend, I think. Actually, yeah, most women are in there for stabbings, to be honest. Yeah. Do you see that a lot of female prisoners? Have they got male relationships outside, but yet gay inside? Yeah. Yeah, a lot of females are like that. Me guilty. So how long did you end up doing out of the five? Two and a half. How was it? To be honest, it went quite quick. I enjoyed my time at New Orleans.

53:45I know I shouldn't say enjoyed my time, but I preferred my time there. Drake Hall was just, because there was too much time out, there was too much going on, too much bitchiness, to be honest. And I just hated the waste management because all I did all day was sit there, CD case, open the CD case, put the cd cover in a box put the cd in a box put the cd case in a box and i did that all day and literally that was so mind-numbing and i did the same sort of thing when i was in eastwood park actually it was called workshop five and i let to do for eight hours a day for six months to sit there counting gloves out of a box putting them in plastic bags and that was it and literally i just ended up losing my shit one day so then i got put in a hairdressing because i just thought I said I'm not doing this anymore I couldn't do it anymore honestly I'd have lost my marbles I think you'd already lost your marbles Tell me something I don't know What was the plans before you were getting out Were you coming out to change your life Were you coming out to do better Or were you going straight back to the mad stuff Well I passed my hairdressing qualification Obviously the final time I was in jail So when I got out my mum had moved me to a fresh town And then I started hairdressing as soon as I got out.

55:00And everything was kosher. What was it like getting out? It's just like a different world. It's just like you've never been there. It's just like a big dream, if you know what I mean. It's like one minute you're in jail, next minute you're in the car with your mum, chilling, listening to tunes, getting a Mackey's on the way home. It's just mad. It's just a different world. I'll never forget it, though. I still feel like it haunts me to this day. As everyone who knows me, I'll constantly talk about jail. Because once you've been, especially I think at a young age, you can never forget that and i feel like sometimes i still have a little bit of trauma from it star wars the mandalorian and grogu is now streaming on disney plus what are you waiting for hop on the must-see galactic adventure comes home on disney plus this is the way our only chance is to work together i like this kid always wear your seat belt Star Wars The Mandalorian and Grogu now streaming on Disney+.

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56:39And you can save up to$100 on tires and surfaces while you're at it. Don't wait. Call Firestone Complete Auto Care for an appointment. Especially being so young, being taken away from a mom when I was mommy cuddled. That was probably the worst thing ever, to be honest for me. So what have you been diagnosed with? I've got diagnosed with severe ADHD, bipolar, personality disorder and mild autism. But obviously that does make me a little bit clever too, I like to say. So what's the thing when you get diagnosed with all that shit? Is that a relief to find out what's wrong with you? I just think everybody just labels constantly now.

57:16I think it's just all fucking bollocks. Yeah, but to be fair, I don't like it how everyone's got ADHD all of a sudden because I don't think you've got ADHD unless you've been in trouble with the police. If you haven't been in trouble with the police, I don't care, you haven't got ADHD because ADHD people are naughty people, generally. So what about the bipolar stuff then? I could have switched, if you know what I mean. So if I get really upset about something in my life, I can just get really angry or be really emotional or you just take so much just trigger me and that's it I'll be off on one for a few months a few months yeah but obviously I've got medicated for that now so I've calmed down a little bit because obviously I went through a bit of I can't really talk about it because I'm going through a family court case at the moment and I've been told I can't speak about it but things that have happened um shouldn't have happened because I've been treated different to obviously my kid's dad when he's basically made the same mistake I have, if you know what I mean.

58:19What sort of medication are you taking? Cetiapine, which I'm on. I was on 200 milligrams of Cetiapine at night and 100 in the morning, but now I've gone down to 25 in the morning and then 50 at night, and then I'm on Alvance, which is the highest you can get, which is 70 milligrams. But it does calm me down, but the Cetiapine's just made you eat. Like, literally, as soon as I've taken that, I eat the whole half's down. My food bill's going from like that to that. So when you say calms you down, if you don't take that stuff, where are you at? Oh, I'll probably just go on a mad one. I just don't care about anything or anyone, to be honest.

58:55And if anyone annoys me, I wouldn't think twice about giving you a scrap, basically. Do you think you could kill someone? Depending on the situation, yeah. Especially if it was to do with my family on my own. Or if someone really upset me, probably, yeah. Do you see yourself? Do you think you've got issues? or do you think you're okay, you're sweet, you'll be sound? I think I'm stable at the moment. Well, I have been for a while now, to be honest, so I'm all right now, but it just depends. Anything can happen in life. It only takes one situation, doesn't it? One problem, one situation. It could be a death, could be a loss.

59:31That could trigger you again, so I just stay hopeful that I will stay fine. Does that scare you, though? Sometimes, because obviously my mum's got secondary cancer, so she's on her last medication at the moment. so I'm like trying to prepare myself for the worst to happen because with me I don't know how that'll make me react either I'll deal with it all right for a bit for a few months and then I could just randomly just go off on one or so it's just like I don't know I'm gonna deal with it yet and what do you think that gives you an excuse then to cause mayhem not an excuse because even though you know all this shit I don't think you're as daft as what your possibly past has led you to believe you know I think you understand what you're doing I think you're very switched on where I think you know how to play the game do you think so a million percent I don't know I'll take that as a compliment then yeah you should but again I think you're in control but there's something obviously that triggers you and you it's like I wouldn't be able to get as far as I do in life if I wasn't I'd a bit of intellect about me do you know what I mean you're a big fucking idiot yeah I'm not a complete fucking idiot as you say but do you know what I mean like it'll just take something to trigger like I'd never go back to my previous things I could never do robberies or aggravated burglaries that is just completely not the sort of person that I am and I do have big regrets for that because it's just put a downer on your character like I have to live with that as part of my character now for the rest of my life when I'm not that person but the only sort of thing that is in the character that I am now is if summer was to upset me how will I react to that?

1:01:05And that is the only issue that is always in the back of my mind. That's the only one I can say. I wouldn't do anything intentional, but it's just to do with my mental health. If someone was to trigger me again, I don't know. But we're always going to be triggered. There's always going to be ups and downs. There's always going to be bad shit happens. There's always going to be people pissing us off. You know? What does the little corpus and that say are social works? How do they treat you? Are you done with them? Or do they not even speak to you anymore? like the social works and stuff do you have people around you to talk to I don't have one to be honest I've even asked for like a mental health doctor because I feel like I do need someone to talk to sometimes they're not interested they're not interested it's just like I'm telling you how I feel or what could trigger me again and you're not helping me you're not helping me with these issues so if something was to arise where I do do something I've come to you already for your help so why haven't you helped stabilise me emotionally do you know what I mean yeah I've got a friend Kenny his son it's cerebral palsy is it and they gave him tablets but on the tablets it says that you can go your mind can go it's like one third becomes psychosis oh yeah and they ended up killing someone the kid and then bloody hell but he's he's not sticking up for his son but he was trying to warn people that he shouldn't be out and ended up fucking killing someone you know so some of these it's mad because a lot of the tablets that they give you make sure you go worse it might numb the brain at the start but then it goes a lot of people do reach out for help and they don't give them the help then they do bad shit exactly and they go told you so and then they look like the bad ones then yeah does that scare you um I think I'm alright at the moment I don't know what else could really trigger me again to be honest apart from obviously my sudden situation um but it is what it is at the moment it is what it is.

1:03:00So your triggers when was the last time you were triggered properly? Last year but that was just regarding contact with my son but obviously I can't get into that at the moment. Was that the thing that was in the papers? Yeah it was yeah. Have you been charged or anything? I did get charged but I just got probation for that just for six months so I've done it now so it's over. So yeah I'm just going back through the courts again now just to get my contact back because obviously it was just caused by my lack of contact anyway. But do you think you can be your worst own enemy as well? Yeah. You do that stuff Yeah definitely.

1:03:33You dare people ammunition to then go, told you she's a psycho? Yeah but then that was after and in the past year I've just completely changed my life around again so now everyone's like, she's gone from that to back on top again but that's what I do Yeah I'm like the shit in the toilet when you flush it I just keep floating back to the top But you don't want to keep being that person to then hit rock bottom and then everybody turning on you to then go, oh she's changed her life again that's what I mean but I feel like because I've been through the worst situation I can now and I went to jail when I was younger but because I've gone through this situation with my son now I've done obviously I did something that just for the anger of the no contact with my son but because I've been put through this with no contact I don't think I'd ever do anything like that again because I know what it feels like now to lose a part of me do you know what I mean like before it was only me but now i'm not just thinking about myself i'm thinking about my son as well and i'd never ever ever going to put myself in that situation again unless someone actually did something to my son so then he'll be a completely different story but it's difficult because like i said i went through the family course two nearly two years and understand the stresses and anxiety yeah um but a lot of people try and push you to that to break yeah and i feel like i feel like so they can set the traps and you jump right in you know because of your past and your history as well you're an easy target exactly well I would think you'd be an easy target to trigger you easy and if your family's everything to you then you can easily trigger you to get that fucking psycho out and go look video I told you and then you've not got a leg to stand on because they have still got a duty of care for kids but kids need their dad no matter what kids need their mum no matter what but when you've got history it's difficult Yeah History so That's what I mean You always get tarnished Yeah But that's what I'm trying to say The person that I was Is not the person that I am now Do you know what I mean And that's what people Need to Need to say But that takes time Yeah Because only last year You were in the papers again Do you know what I'm saying Yeah So it is difficult Like everything's consistency You don't need to prove everybody That you've changed You just need to prove yourself Yeah And you know And everything you've came for I think I've changed overnight But again in your fucking borderline schizo bipolar fucker you've got all the traits of that mad man yeah i did that yesterday but i'm all right today how is life now then like does that scare you like how i just have to be kept busy if i don't work the thing is to me if i work i'm all like oh tootie tootie again if i don't work i end up back in that sort of lifestyle again so i have to be kept busy because if I'm not kept busy I just get bored and I don't know how people sit at home doing nothing all day I just can't do it I just I can't do it I didn't go mad literally it's like the last job I worked at that was just as bad to be honest I was working half eight or six no one was there half the time I had no radio there was no heating I had to wear earmuffs to work literally I think I just walked around in circles all day and I was like just doing lunges and that walking around the bloody building because I can't cope not doing anything because my mind is just so active I just keep myself busy but at the moment obviously if I'm not working I'm making my son's stuff I've started like recycling boxes and making my son loads of crafted stuff that I do for him because I make him loads of displays because obviously at the moment I can't see him but obviously he goes to my mum's house so he likes to see that like I've done a lot of good inventions that he likes so his dad has a lot of crap in his house when he takes it home what's your daily routine like now just work work work work work and then if I'm not at work I just like to spend time with my mum because obviously we don't know how long she's got left so I just like to spend the most with her now I don't really bother with friends now I'm starting to do better again I see all these friends creeping from under the woodwork and do you know what they can all do one because they weren't there for me at my lowest point and they're not going to be there for me now I'm back to normal well normal as I can be as I say so So, when was the last time you cried?

1:07:41I cry quite often, actually. I probably cry weekly, to be honest, because I am quite an emotional person, and I feel like I do have to have a good cry, because if I don't cry, that is another build-up for me, where I could just explode at any minute. So, I do like a good cry. I listen to a bit of Debesh mode, because that's what my dad plays, and that soothes me, to be honest. Not a lot of people my age would listen to that, but I love my 80s and stuff like that. So I'll just put my earphones in at home and just self-soothe myself. And then I'll take my tablet and go to sleep. It's just like, I have to self-soothe myself for music, to be fair.

1:08:16When did you start self-harming? Only since my son's situation. But obviously when I was younger, when I used to get angry, I used to punch myself in the head. But this was caused by, obviously, the lack of contact. I literally smashed an astro over my head, cut my arm. I think a couple of days after, I jumped out of a three-storey window. Literally, I woke up to the ambulance, tickling my feet. Literally, my face looked like the elephant, man. Like, I was a mess. I feel like crying now. That was like a really low point in my life, but the only way is up now. When was this? Oh, God. Yeah, this had been ongoing now for a few years.

1:08:56But obviously, it came to the crunch last year. So I'd self-harmed and drank my soul away, I like to say. and it wasn't until the crunch last year. But then I felt like that was an end to the chapter. It's like I felt like I had to do what I did last year to be able to put it all to a closure because I'd self-harmed, self-medicated myself for like two or three years. I thought, right, this is it. I had to do something. But obviously I know it wasn't the best way to go around it, but honestly it closed a chapter in my life. And since that day, obviously having the personality disorder and whatever, I was fine again.

1:09:32I was back to normal. I was back in a job I was working again It was just mad I was just literally just It's just random It's just mad though It's just mad as soon as I close that chapter in my life I was just sound again But the brain does take us to mad places And I'm yigging through some shit The best option is drink or drugs It numbs the pain on itself I'd never go back to that again, ever I could have a couple of drinks now But I would never touch drugs again in my life And I don't want to drink to the point where I'm not in control of myself because I am a good person and drugs and drink, obviously, in the past they're the evil that let me down and I don't want to be in that mess or situation again, to be honest Should you be even drinking, though?

1:10:17Do you think? I have a couple But yeah, I have a couple Just in case, mixed with the tablets, then boom you're fucking jumping out three-storey window again I know what you mean I don't drink for that sole purpose because if I was to drink through the last two years I reckon I would have done some kind of... Yeah, I have a couple, but I only have a couple if I'm having something to eat. If I'm not having something to eat, then I don't drink. Yeah, you just need to be careful with that. Yeah, definitely. Because it's... Because it could just set you off again. Yeah. Because if you've got it in you, that's it.

1:10:46Because once that poisons through the system, then it only takes another couple of more drinks on top of that before you're doing more things you regret. Yeah. You know? Exactly. Count your blessings that you're still here. But how did you end up jumping three stories out? I just... So what happened? I just necked a bottle of vodka. I literally hid my partner's keys. He hid the house keys. He hid our phones. Just put them down my top. Necked a bottle of vodka. And then just literally just threw myself out of the window. But I've never done anything like that before. Like I must have just got like, I feel like crying.

1:11:20I must have just got to the crunch. Literally. So it's just a contact with my son. It just literally sent me over the edge. And to be fair, I'd say the past two or three years, not having contact with my son was the worst I've ever behaved mentally. Because obviously I know I've always had issues with the stuff I did when I was younger, but I was fine up until this point. It's just not fair how I've been treated, to be honest, but I'll get there. How do you think that they've been on your son and your mum if you dead kill yourself? To be honest, at this time I didn't care. Because I just thought, I can't see him anyway.

1:11:57Obviously my mum and dad were distancing themselves at the time because of my behaviour and literally I just felt alone to be honest. It was only my partner that was there for me to be fair so I just didn't, I just thought. But then it wasn't really fair on him because obviously I did that and then he couldn't even get out of the house because obviously I had all the keys and everything. So... I'm laughing because it is fucked up situations and sometimes all you can do is fuck it like... Do you know what, that is what I do. Instead of getting upset now I just have to laugh. and it's not because I'm laughing because it's funny, I'm just laughing because that's all you can do sometimes is laughing at How's it been though since Plattie, Rain and again trying to be better, trying to do better I just need to be kept busy because if I'm not kept busy I'm just scared of my mind taking over again if you know what I mean but this is what I'm trying to say to obviously my situation that I'm in now but I'm trying to say that if I don't have contact at all you're not thinking about my mental health or even my son's mental health do you know what I mean yeah but they'll look at it they'll still have a duty to care for your son as well because of the actions do you think there's enough help for people like yourself who really struggle bipolar no not at all I just feel like I go and see the ADHD doctor and he says to me he goes on medication he won again and I'm thinking you should know that shouldn't you and he's like scrolling looking for it on his computer.

1:13:23He's like, you could ask him, at least I had to ask him to lower my medication. He'll just do it, whatever. If I said, rang him tomorrow and said, oh, can you put me up here? I'd be like, yeah, all right then. So I just feel like it's not very supportive. It's just, I don't know, do we even have bipolar? Do you know what I mean? That's what I'm starting to question myself. And it took me a while to even start taking my medication because I couldn't believe that I was mad either. Well, not mad as such, but I didn't think I needed medication. but they get paid for every prescription they give out they give a fuck exactly but I don't feel like he cares to be fair but it's like I've always asked for extra help as well and I don't get it it's just like you've got to do something serious to get help because it's like now after last year's incident I've got help with I think I've been working with Willardine Rehabilitation Centre for my emotional regulation but that was just a load of crap as well to be honest like should have said oh so how have you been feeling today has there been any situations that are going to make it it's just like no or it's just like you've got to do a chart one to ten how you feel now and it's just like I don't think things like that work it might work for other people but it doesn't for me it's like I work with the Shropshire recovery as well and I don't think that works they tried to put me on a cocaine course and on a Friday afternoon and I thought bloody hell it's gonna want to want to make you take cocaine on a Friday afternoon so I ended up stopping that and I just basically just did everything on my own without any help because if you got if you want to change your change that's what I think about that's what I think and the thing is because I've got a supportive network as well I can do it I know some people obviously are not fortunate to have that and obviously need help so I think there needs to be more help for people because not everybody has a supportive family do they or people there what's your biggest regret um to be honest i would say jail but then i'm not going to say that because it's made me the person who i am today and it's made me a lot tougher through certain situations if you know what i mean i feel like i know this sounds really sad but obviously because my mom's at secretary can't and she could pass away any minute i just feel like i've already had that heartbreak from losing my mum anyway before so I feel like I'd be able to cope and help my dad and other people if that situation was to happen if you know what I mean I don't feel like it's just made me stronger in lost situations obviously my son was just a next level one but obviously I had to go through what I went through the crunch last year and now I feel like I'm all right again now I'm never right so what has your mum been in secondary cancer for people who don't know um she's got stage four secondary cancer and she's on palliative care so basically she's on her last medication now so it could turn at any time she has checkups every three months so she had one back last week so she's stable which is good um in three months time it could be unstable and then she'll have once or two years to live if it does get to that stage so i just need to not stress her out she doesn't need any stress and we need to get my son back in my life so and it will happen like i say you're a mad cunt but you're a good cunt yeah i'm a good mad cunt i am do you know what i'm saying i can see you're a genuine person you can see the softness when you speak about your mum and your son so it shows that you're not a psychopath it shows you you have good feelings you need to have listen your fella's probably sitting she is a fucking psychopath which is understandable well listen I feel your pain but you can see you're a decent you're a decent cunt you know what I'm saying and it comes from a Scottish word they're a good person so I love it yeah I'm a lovable rogue yeah but you need to dig deep more than ever because we're all going to fucking die anyway yeah you know what I'm saying your mum might probably outlive you the way you fucking go sometimes the way you go sometimes you know what i'm saying thankfully this studio's only one up so we're safe we're safe tonight but how do you then get through it how do you then are you trying to prepare your mind for bad stuff that happens so you don't go to be honest you're gonna laugh now i did try and go to church for a day last year i thought i'm gonna burn down when i'm walking here i tried that because i'm a catholic that's not for me church um i'm just gonna i've got a plan i'm just gonna stick to working spend time with my mom don't hang around with anybody else because i don't want other people's influences on me because i'm easily influenced and i'm i can be quite naive so stick with my family let's work together and hopefully the best will come what will be will be and what he's destined to be will be and that is how I think now.

1:18:13What about the church wing? Why didn't you stick around? They didn't do the bread, did they? I like the bread. Because a lot of people, when they have a faith, I'm not really just myself, but when people believe in something, it makes them feel not alone. But then I prayed to God before when I was younger, when I was born first, I couldn't say I... Oh, here? Actually, to be fair, I suppose he's left for... Yeah, I know, but it's not long enough. So then she got it again. because obviously she had cancer the first time and I prayed for her and then she got it again, so. Yeah, we can't blame God for that though.

1:18:46Yeah, I don't know. There is something there. Yeah, there's definitely higher. There definitely is something there. But I feel like unless you've been touched by God or whatever anybody else says they've had that touch of God, then you don't know, do you? But I've tried, I've had rosy beads and all sorts and God's never called me out. But then again, you're still here. Yeah, true. There's a lot of people who've been through Lesbians and they're still not here. You've got through it. You've jumped out windows. You've been self-harming. You've took drugs. You've been in prison. You know, you're still here.

1:19:17So maybe there is a good. So don't shut them off. I'm not a fucking Bible basher. I'm not a Bible basher. There's clearly something here. You're clearly here for a reason. Exactly. Everyone's life has a path, I suppose. And they're all dealt cards that sometimes we're uncomfortable with, but you've just got to play them. So I wouldn't shut off completely because like you say, your mum's still here, you're still here. Yeah. I just want this, situation to be solved before it's too late god hope it's not yeah i think it'll be fine you know you just got to keep pushing through yeah what's it like for the future then plans for the future where do you see yourself so i'm going to be moving soon but i'm moving out in the sticks as well so there's like a nice woods you can see like the wild beer in the summer and so i'm moving out there so i'm planning to do that in the new year and stick up my job because I started a new job at the moment because I always feel a bit down on myself sometimes and I feel like I can't do things.

1:20:09So at the moment I'm thinking, oh, how about if I won't be able to do it? But I said this about the carpet shop and I didn't know how to do plans or square metres and now I'm just like a genius at that. So I'm sure I'll be fine. So obviously I'm going to stick at that. Obviously you get good commission there. So hoping to get a good car, show off, got my Rolex on that my mum gave me and then hopefully work towards getting my son back and hopefully my mum gets to see that as well. That's all I hope for. Yeah. Is money, wealth and health. Happiness. Yeah. What about the men who you robbed back in the day?

1:20:42What would you say if they were watching? I can actually remember one of their names. To be honest, I would just say that I was stupid naive and I apologise. Because, to be honest, I hate talking about the first one which dealt for because I really think it's a really scumbaggy thing to do. Like, there's just no excuses for it, is there? to be fair that's the only one I didn't really want to talk about when I come in here but I thought if I'm talking about it I'm talking about it all but yeah that was just stupidity naivety and just trying to be the mad Anna the persona that I had but it was just uncalled for and I do feel really bad about it so hopefully it hasn't affected them mentally in the long run that's all I can say to be honest I might not even trust women now after that mightn't they not I don't mean trust women anyway so I think you're good there you know

1:21:34yeah like i say it's a mad roller coaster but again you've just got to fucking try and keep pushing through you've got to put your seatbelt on put your hands up yeah try and enjoy it you know as much as you can what about your tiktoks and stuff and instagram for people who maybe want to get a message across to you because people like i say we're same as vania um done 11 years i've i think it's 16 years and sentences all in but just a good soul who's a bit lost but i would back them you know what I'm saying they'll rather sit at a dinner table with those mad cunts than anybody else you know because they're genuine and loyal they're just a bit just yeah yeah exactly don't know how to handle all the feelings and emotions you know and she's doing great so anything is possible for your future you know as long as you take ownership so I think it's important like you say it's not shine away from your story you've been very transparent very open which is a great thing yeah you should be proud you're still here be proud that you still got your mum around you know so if i just want to say to young girls out there obviously even if they want to drop me a message on tiktok it's adh queen anastasia um just even drop me a message if they need any support or anything if they feel like they're being groomed or hanging around with older lads obviously you don't trust women we don't trust men um yeah just drop me a message and hopefully i can help them with obviously what i've been through in my life because i'm not that person anymore and I'd love to be able to help someone that is in that position always living in that position and I'd love to do that as a sort of a give back because that's what I do now as well like at Christmas times I always do like on the random acts of kindness pages I'll do like lucky dips and stuff so um I'll write people's names down pick it out of a hat and I'll actually get presents for the kids and stuff and wrap them up and I'll take them to the house and I've been doing that for a few years or getting people Christmas dinners Marks and Spencer's turkey as well like I love doing that just to give and help other people.

1:23:28So I might be a bad girl back in the day, but I do have a heart and I always had a heart, but it was just hidden behind whatever was going on then. If you know what I mean. You speak to any of the girls from prison? Oh yeah, we do, yeah. How are they getting on? Nadine, I speak to her quite a lot. She's been on the, she's on the podcast actually, on the Blue Tick Show. She's doing all right. I think Christina, she's in Manchester. the identity I speak to to be honest How are you feeling today? I feel good to know about it it's feeling good actually coming out to actually speak about it all so but yeah hopefully I've helped someone along the way For anybody that's maybe in that life of struggle hanging about with older kids and doing things that they don't want to do but they feel as if they want to impress them as well what advice would you have for them?

1:24:18Don't do it just don't do it, it's not worth it what's all your social media links and stuff as well for people to get in contact maybe people to drop your message so yeah it's adhqueen anastasia at queen seven anna with one n or my instagram is i should know that's a no

1:24:40my instagram is adhqueen seven which is the number seven and my youtube channel is at queen seven Anna with one N and also do have a Cavapoo Brothers page which is my little Cavapoo dogs and they do a lot of things on TikTok as well so good Anastasia listen I wish you nothing but the best for the future and you too hopefully you get your son sooner rather than later wish you best for your fella and your mum and I wish you nothing but the best thank you and I'll speak to you soon and you thank you at ZocDoc we know you care about your health you wouldn't do that early morning cardio if you didn't.

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