Andrew Schulz

20:32And every white dude is going to think they can come up to me and do their Latino accent. That's a portion. You know, I speak Spanish, right? I believe it. I'm not against you. I'm trying to point the two options. One is that I can definitely see how that's going to happen. Yeah. And then I can also see that tons of Latinos and Latinos are going to love it. Now, my point is it's okay if a ton love it and a ton don't like it. It's not being forced. They're not showing it at school or before movies. Just don't watch that thing. Allow the people that like it to like it. People are allowed to not like things.

21:05I think the big issue with comedy right now is this idea that people aren't allowed to be offended or aren't allowed to feel uncomfortable. You can react however you want to react to anything. Yeah. You're entitled to your reaction. If you find it funny, that's great. If you don't find it funny, that's also great. If you feel uncomfortable and offended by it, that's great. And on a person-to-person interaction, like if I'm saying something and I'm teasing you about being a cheerleader or whatever, and you go, hey, that was like a really uncomfortable time in my life. I don't want you to tell me more cheerleading jokes.

21:34You know what I'll never do with you is another cheerleading joke. I will continue to tell cheerleading jokes. Globally. Globally. But to you, it's being an asshole, essentially. I hear you. Look, I find this all extremely complicated because I— Don't go anywhere. Bye. You made your point and now you're out? This couch is comfortable, but like There's something about it It feels as if I should be comfortable But my shirt is riding up, my pants are riding Your zins are bouncing now Yeah, what the hell is going on? It's our second couch too, we cannot get it right No, you're doing great No one liked the first couch either You're doing perfect, okay, tell me So I did grow up in suburban America Duluth, Georgia, Southern And look, there's no Indian jokes in that show You made it out alright But I'm watching it like you watch the Golden Globes and you know Nikki Glaser is going to do a joke about you.

22:23And you're watching it like, when's it going to hit? When's it going to hit? And, you know, it doesn't come. But I do feel a lot of empathy. OK, let's take it out of race. But the end of your special, which, by the way, I thought your special was hilarious. I cried. Oh, thank you. At the baby party. And I also have frozen my eggs. Oh, wow. Mm hmm. It was beautifully done. Thank you so much. And then at the end, I was like, why? There's an entire piece at the very end about special needs. And your fans will probably be mad that I even said special needs. And I'm not going to say. You don't feel comfortable saying retarded.

22:54I don't feel comfortable. That's fine. You don't have to say it. I can say it because it's my embryos. Sure. Sure. If I have retarded embryos, yeah, I can call them whatever I want. They're mine. This is my argument about molesting jokes. People yell at me. I'm like, no, no. I went through it. Yeah. There's one thing I can do. I can make a fucking Boy Scout joke. But you don't have a kid that is special needs. Yeah, that's true. So my point is, if you're taking your daughter to school, which you will, and it'll be beautiful and wonderful. And there are going to be kids there that have special needs and their parents are going to be there.

23:25And they will probably have seen it because I'm sure it's going to do amazingly well. Hopefully that'd be great if people watch it. It will. And I just wonder, will you care? Yeah. Will it bother you? Well, it depends how they feel about it. If they see it and they're like, hey, that really hurt me and made me feel really uncomfortable. then in that personal interaction, I'll feel bad that somebody was hurt by it. A person. Right. But you won't be like, oh fuck, maybe I shouldn't do that again. I don't feel bad about people telling me to feel bad on behalf of people that we don't even know if they feel bad.

23:56I hear that. It's like Latinx. You're apologizing to advocates a lot. I never apologize. No, no, I'm just saying you feel like, who am I apologizing to? I'm not going to apologize to some white guy from Maine who's like, we have to call Mexicans Latinx. and then I asked my Mexican friends and I'm like, yo, what's up with this Latinx? They're like, is that a movie? Like they have no clue what that is. They hate it because they know it's white people projecting. It's pandering. And advocating for them and they didn't ask. It's white people going, look how good I am. Yeah. And you're using minorities to feel good about yourself.

24:26Don't use them. Why don't you have a conversation with them? Why don't you befriend them and see what they actually care about instead of sitting in some like Ivy League institution and going, how can we get more pats on the back? I 100 % agree with you. Yeah. Now we can get into like a political. When I'm watching that and everyone's laughing, it is so clear. Yes, people want to be able to laugh at things that are funny. They do not like being told they can't laugh at it or that it's not funny when that's their instinct. They know it's funny. They're feeling it. And I get it. And that's why we're here.

24:56And that's why we have Trump. And I get it. We tried really hard to have Democratic representation on the pod around the election. Mark Cuban was the only guy who came on. Buttigieg said he was going to come on. Then he's like, I have to do debate prep, which I give him. And then we tried to get Waltz and then he got into his little saying he did things he didn't do. What did he do? I don't even. He was like, I was at the Civil War. I was at the Battle of Gettysburg. We're like, no, you weren't. And he was like, no, I was flying one of the planes during Pearl Harbor. Like he just kept on saying shit that he didn't do.

25:23And then you just can't do that. A lot of people. Well, yeah. I mean, I think at this point they're all. Are you going to defend him saying that he was in Tiananmen Square? No. Are you going to sit on the pod right now? I'm telling you, this is where the Dems lose. No, I'm not. They can't just be like, yo, that was dumb. It was. But everyone else is lying, too. Remember when Elon gave his heart out? Yeah. It was dumb. Exactly. And if the Republicans do the same shit that Democrats did for the last four years, where they go, oh, you're exaggerating. What the hell is wrong with you? We're right back in the same fucking place.

25:54You did some goofy shit. Of course. You did it that was goofy. And we move on. Don't gaslight me. You're saying that on behalf of Republicans. But the Republicans I know, which are many from home, they are defending everything Trump does, which is insanity. But I'm not saying on behalf of Republicans. I'm saying on behalf of me, Andrew Schultz. This is my opinion. But you're saying the Dems, and I'm just saying in general, I think the Republicans. Well, because we were talking about Republicans, and I'm saying Democrats. We tried to get a bunch of Dems on the pod, and I think that they were a little bit hesitant.

26:21I think you saw the Kamala interviews were a little bit more scripted. Definitely. And this is the burden of being the progressive party. You have to push for progress. We don't get here without progress. Keep in mind, I'm from an arts family in New York City. I grew up Democrat, super liberal. Went to UCSB. I think what happened is the party of progress has to keep seeking more progress, as it should. The burden of the party of progress is alienating the groups that you're trying to create more equity, opportunity, and equal treatment. You can't really sit down on a pod and shoot the shit like you would without the cameras rolling.

26:55When in your mind you're going, fuck, if I don't acknowledge these pronouns, then this group is going to be upset. And if I could dissect a little bit more, the major criticism I would have, and I think the thing is really difficult, is I was a big Bernie guy. Despite maybe not agreeing with him on economic policy, I agreed that he wanted to help. I like people that want to help. I might not agree with AOC on economic policy. That chick wants to help. Yeah, big time. And that's why her district voted for her and Trump. So these are the things that we got to key into. And people need help. You don't celebrate Luigi Mangione shooting that guy if you don't need help.

27:28So for me, when I'm seeing that, I go, the Dems are kind of shackled to identity politics because they're afraid of making it what it really should be, which is a class war, which Bernie did and got all the support. He's like, these billionaires, they're taking all your money. You guys need to get paid more. We need to make sure that these jobs are secure. We need to tax these motherfuckers so that money can trickle down to the rest of you. And all of us saw that and we're like, who the fuck is this guy? This guy's awesome. I think there are people in the Democratic Party that were like, hey, those billionaires give us a lot of money.

27:55This is interesting parallel. We got to get rid of this guy. So I think Bernie Sanders got a problem and they're called the Bernie bros and the Bernie bros are sexist and they're bigoted and they're racist. To me, they play the exact same handbook with the manosphere pods. Oh, these guys are sexist and they're bigot and they're racist. And it's just like, no, you're too scared to call out the real thing that Americans need help with, which is billion dollar corporations and these fucking trillion human beings that seemingly do not care about the working class people. once they get back into working class, how do we put money in their pockets?

28:32How do we make eggs cheap and stop worrying about the identity politics? I think Democrats, see you later. If I can't afford eggs, I can't care about the bathrooms. I need eggs. My daughter eats so many. The amount of eggs this girl eats. She can not stop eating eggs. It's eggs and blueberries is all they eat. If the Democrats said right now, we're going to make blueberries free and eggs free. I don't even say the word Republican again in my life. If Democrats said eggs are going to be free and blueberries are going to be free, the Republicans aren't still going to push the identity politics side.

29:05I mean, it's still going to be there. The Democratic Party is not going to say we actively don't care. We've already had this debate. I want to know if you and I agree. I think a lot of the left is viewing this under the lens that he won. And I think that's the wrong lens. The correct lens is we lost. We did not offer something appealing enough to vote for. Our side did not offer a platform that the majority of Americans wanted to vote for. Forget about him. People try to give the pods credit for Trump's. Right, right, right. And I'd literally say we did nothing. Maybe what we did is made people feel more comfortable saying what they were going to vote for out loud.

29:42But they were 100 percent. Remember when Biden won? It wasn't because people were voting for Biden. It was a rejection of Trump and the temperature. It was just exhausting. Everything was a fight every single day. They're like, yo, we just need to return to normal. Exactly. They rejected him and then they rejected us. So now this election, in my opinion, yes, he's incredibly popular. There are people that love him without a doubt. I'm not undermining that. I think that's like 30 percent. Sure. It is a small. This was a rejection of the institution in power and the Democrats were in power. And it was a rejection of what people thought were the most important things to that party.

30:19Now, there could have been way more important things. But if they're not communicated in a way where we can digest it. That's what I want to hear. I'm really asking, what is a good way to send that message? What message do you want to send? I think there's a huge dissonance between what the official party is and what all the members of the party I talk to are. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

30:52I hate to get back into the water again, but it's like I have only liberal friends. I'm surrounded by hundreds of them. Really? I've talked to, no, I have Republican friends. But I live in Los Angeles and I'm in show business. But I am talking with liberals nonstop. And when the topic of should trans women compete in the Olympics, none of them think that. But that is the official message of the party. But is it? It kind of is. No, this is where I have to push back. I actually don't think it is. But I think that is what gets brought up all the time when there is debate. Right. So we see the right is so fueled by it.

31:27Why can't we stand up and go? We don't think that's a good idea either. No one's allowed to do that. This is a good discussion. I agree with you where I don't think that's the official platform of the party. But to what we were saying earlier, the fear of ostracizing a group, they will not remove themselves from it. And I think that what the Republicans have done really well is painted them with the most extreme beliefs of the party. And I think Democrats have done that well to Republicans, too. I think this is a political process, unfortunately. The only problem is it seems like Americans are more comfortable with the most extreme version of Republicans right now than they are with the most extreme version of Democrats.

32:05I know, which I think is so interesting because the person running was the most extreme version of the Republican Party. Trump is. Trump is, yeah. And Biden, they're not extremely far left. No, they're quite centrist, but they just won't go out there and be like, there's not 67 genders. They won't go out there and say that trans women shouldn't compete. And also that trans discussion is even more nuanced. Like there's a thing that people don't say, which is should they compete against women, women or whatever you want to call women? Yeah. Cis women. Cis women. Yeah. No. But we can also say it sucks for them.

32:39That is so unfortunate that you're in that situation. Let's make a category. I actually am supportive of their right to compete. And I acknowledge that they're a woman. I want that right for them, but not at the expense of 20 other people. I agree. And I feel like a lot of times in the discourse, there's not even room on Twitter for the little bit of empathy in the middle. So it seems so rigid and harsh. And we're getting things in 180 characters or whatever the character limit is. There's room to be like, man, it sucks as that person. Because I do believe that there are trends with things. So I think that there are some young kids that are probably identifying as trans that might not actually be.

33:12Sure. Not only trans. I think that happens with a lot of it. Oh, yeah. You're trying on some stuff. And then there are people who are trans. Exactly. And if my guess is that competing in the Olympics is not even the top 100 of the things that those people care about. I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do not. We're talking about three or four athletes on the planet that are going to want to do this. And now they're the talking point of every show. And they're just out here going, I'm just trying to be a barista at this thing. and everybody who comes up wants to ask me if I should be a swimmer. And you're like, I don't do a fuck about swimming.

33:46That's the problem is I think the Republicans have used that as a Trojan horse. Effectively. My issue is we're not fighting back. No, you're not. We gave it to them on a silver platter. I don't want to piss them off. One on the left will stand up and pray. You're playing prevent defense. And what you need is Americans inherently identify as brave and we like to take risk. Anything that looks risky is exciting for us. I actually think there's some biological component to that. every one of our family members that came here. We're the crazies. Yes, yes. We're the people that left our entire family.

34:14Our rate of bipolar is 10X of Japan. I love that. I want to be happy, happy, and then I'll deal with the sad set. So knowing that, I think we want to see some bravery in the Democratic Party. I want to see some congressman that goes, hey, housing is a problem. I don't give a fuck about these developers. We're taking that land right there. We're building 10 ,000 affordable housing units. That's happening this year. These developers are going to try to say, oh, we've had that and we actually have a plan for this in the future. We're like, no, sorry. It is what it is. In the same way that Trump goes, we're taking Greenland.

34:46But make it about helping and class. Make it about money. Stop making about these other issues the majority of Americans don't really care about right now. Yeah. And a lot of them don't have the luxury of caring. It is a privilege to care about other people's shit. 100 percent agree. And to have a party that actively shames those people for not caring is not the way forward. But it is also the party that's trying to help those people. Maybe that just needs to be more explicit that we are the party that is going to lower the price of eggs or slash the reason that they're expensive is because of bird.

35:21I mean, the price of eggs currently is$20 and you can't even find them. It obviously has nothing to do with politics that the eggs are expensive. Maybe they just need to fucking say that. Subsidize them. We do it with everything else. We do it with corn. We do it with cheese. Subsidize all these big companies. Yeah, Walmart. I'm paying half their fucking staff. So somebody pay for my eggs. I'm just saying present the idea. Give me some hope. We like abundance. Democrats, you got to sell me on abundance. That's what Americans want. I want an abundance of eggs. Every American family should get 48 eggs a week.

35:55But then what about with the stimulus checks? That's abundance. And then everyone was mad about that? Nah, nobody was mad about that. Who? You thought it was a bad idea? Yeah, rich people. I didn't end. Rich people are not. Poor people are like, Trump is the man. I want to be on record. Biden did stimulus checks. No, I was the Trump stimmy. Oh, God. Was it not the Trump stimmy? No, he kept those checks going and going. Trump put his name on the check. So when the check first hit the lower income neighborhoods, they were like, oh, Trump gave me$1 ,200? Yes, that motherfucker is awesome. That started as he took office.

36:24So he had stimulus. Both parties did it. Biden kept it going for a long time and then people were like, why is he still doing this and he's using all the money? Rich people were worried about inflation because inflation affects rich people. I'm not saying more, but it affects the amount of buying power they have. So when they have 20 million in the bank and they're seeing inflation go up 25 percent, they're like, wait, I got 15 million. I lost five million dollars. They're upset. Poor people. They just see another twelve hundred hit and they go, I'm rich. When the Republicans said with the Doge thing, which I think is being handled poorly, but they're like with the savings from Doge, we think that we'll give five thousand dollars back to every American.

36:56They're not going to do that. But the second that hit the headline, people were like, Doge is incredible. That's sad to me. They're not going to get it. We're in the weeds on every single policy now. I'm probably communicating this poorly. I'm acting as if I'm trying to justify policy. I'm not talking about policy. I'm talking about emotional reaction to stimulus. It's really important to understand how Americans emotionally react to the things that you're telling us. I think Democrats right now, it's like, we know better. will take care of you. No, the elitism is an issue on the left. Get him out.

37:28I need working class AOC. I need that. There was this guy fucking trolling me. He's some Kennedy Nepo baby. Jack Schlossberg. He's like JFK's grandson or something. And he's like talking all his shit. He got upset at me because I said, I didn't know a guy who identifies as a Democrat that's over 5 '9", which was very hurtful. Because I think their insecurities, the perception is a lack of masculinity. And I think that kind of hurt. I'm just busting balls with Charlemagne on the pod. Charlemagne's 5 '7", and he's a Democrat. Like I'm teasing my friend. Yeah. Is he 5 '7"? On a good day. With lips.

37:59Yeah, yeah. But the point is the face of the party should not be like a fourth generation, trust fund nepo baby who's never had a real job telling working class Americans. Yeah, no friends that weren't white and also rich. This can't be the Democrat Party. But that is the face of the Republican Party and it worked. It's a great point. Here's the difference. And this is what people do not like to acknowledge. Trump doesn't sound rich. When he talks, he sounds poor. Yeah, I guess you're really right. He talks like he's from the neighborhood. They asked him today, and what happens if Russia does not do the ceasefire?

38:35She goes, what if, what if that happens? He goes, what if, what if someone drops a bomb and it blows up on your head? Nope. That's how Frank from the neighborhood would answer a question. So he communicates in a way that is super relatable to those people despite his life not being at all relatable. I often play out the scenario when I go on other podcasts and I know they're very right-leaning and I think they all think I'm super duper liberal. I never thought that was your perspective. Well, it's not. It's not. I'm a centrist. I'm a pragmatist. Both sides have good ideas. Both sides have terrible ideas.

39:11For the listener, I got a big covert wink. I have imaginary debates on these podcasts that never happen. There are many policies on the right I agree with. I don't have a boner for a guy who fucking grew up and got handed a billion dollars. If I told you you're going to love my friend Mike, dude, his fucking dad gave him a billion dollars and he doesn't pay the contractors that do his shit. If I describe that guy to you, you'd be like, this guy's a fucking asshole. Yeah. So I don't have a boner for that guy. I don't understand the boner for the guy. I think the assumption is the boner for him is that he's this real estate guru.

39:50No, I don't think that's the boner. The boner is I'm so fucking sick of being told how I have to act and behave all the time. And this guy is telling me, no, I can say what I fucking want to say. And I'm not going to disappear and get erased over it. Make me feel seen. Everybody wants to feel seen. They want to feel heard. Yeah, yeah. So I get it. I also acknowledge, talk about the elitism. It's like we made a very specific choice at a very specific time under Clinton where we said we're going to have a brain economy. That was a good theory. Let's not rely on manufacturing. Let's get everyone smart.

40:22Let's be in finance. Let's be in technology. We pivoted. We made a lot of policy decisions. NAFTA being one of them. Clinton was the first doge. They fired 300 ,000 government workers. But the result of which was, guess what? 20 % of the population didn't go into the brain economy. All these young men, they didn't get a place in this new economy. And we need to fucking acknowledge that. And that is part of this. They wouldn't even articulate what the elitism is, but it's that. That's great. You guys are all went to college and you're all making all this money and finance and tech and all this shit.

40:53There's no fucking jobs for me. There's no assembly line for me anymore. This party who made this decision completely abandoned 20 % of the country, which is these young men. And that's a dangerous fucking group to have disenfranchised. Yeah, I agree. So that's a big, big problem. So how do we look out for them? Well, that's what I'm saying. The left has to be about the left. Unions, manufacturing the stuff that's always been part of the left. But I do think Hillary was like, we got to retrain. This is an issue. There's so many people that don't have jobs, but those jobs aren't coming back. There's nobody less risk averse than Hillary.

41:24She might have been an incredible, I don't know, because she didn't become president. But I'm telling you, just the emotional perception of her, it doesn't feel like there would be the change that people need. She felt like status quo. Exactly. And I think that that's what people are rejecting. I love her. I do too. You love her. I think she is the most competent person that probably could have ever had that job. She was an incredible secretary of state. She's been in every angle of this system and she's incredibly smart and she has handled one of the most hard to handle human beings imaginable.

41:51Bill? Yes. As a husband. I think you're infantilizing Bill a bit. Say more. She's handled him? You mean the fucking president? The guy who was able to do it? One of the greatest communicators in history? The guy who was uber charismatic, very powerful, and she could work with that system and still exist and be equal. And that's a skill set. That is a skill set. It's not that easy to do. I don't know. Again, I don't know. I think a lot of women would have gotten run over by a guy like Bill. And that did not happen to her. She's an incredibly strong, determined, smart. I'm not saying that she's not intelligent or determined.

42:26Obviously, she's very ambitious, 100%. You're just saying she turned people off. Yeah, and I think it's important if we don't acknowledge that. No, she did, obviously. Even like me coming in here, there are things that I probably said that had turned you off or other people off. I can't be like, because you guys are wrong. I'm doing something that makes you feel that way. I mean, it's easy for me to chalk it up to, oh, a headline is positioned in this way. But at the same time, I either have to accept that I will have what I say kind of manipulated to fit a narrative. And people will think a certain way about me.

42:58and that's what I take and I get in bed with so that I can do comedy the way that I want to do it. Not to make it about me. No, no, no, you're our guest. I'm just giving an example of I have to live with that. For me, I think the best version of America is when we have two really awesome, competent people running. It's a really difficult choice. That I'm really excited for. But in order for us to do it, both sides have to listen to what the American people actually want and we need a process that lets those people flourish. Okay. Sorry, I have one more question. Go, go, go, go, go. Last political thing.

43:28It's not political. Are we in a rush? I don't know how long you guys know. No, no, no, no. There's other things I want to get to other than your political leanings. Okay, cool. This is more fun. It is fun, right? Because we're passionate about it. I think it's important for you to hear a perspective like mine because it forms your opinions more. You're like, oh, wow, they don't see it like that. I love having conversations with people that I might disagree on something. Yeah. Because my opinions get sharper. I'm like, oh, I'm hitting this too bluntly and I'm ostracizing all these people. I would do that with the trans athlete thing.

43:54I didn't have space for how much it must suck to be a trans person and not having anywhere to go. And just acknowledging that makes my opinion way more digestible. I use my wife. I don't even know that I use her that way, but I hit her with things. And she goes, you have a really great point, but you need to soften it in this way. What you're saying is scary. You have to acknowledge you care about these people first. I mean, it circles back to exactly what you were just saying about how the Democrats need to position themselves. It's packaging. And you have to say you care about this and this.

44:25All the same thing. It's how to communicate effectively. But also, do you worry because you seem like you want peace, essentially? This is like Chappelle's thing where he heard the laugh when they were doing the sketch. And he was like, oh, they don't get it. That laugh is filled with hatred. I got to pivot. And I wonder when you look at the crowd and they're laughing at a joke that is nuanced. You're smart and you've thought it through. I don't know if I'm smart, but yeah. Clearly you are. And it's nuanced. You're also handsome. Dude, you better stop it. Do you ever worry I'm contributing to this silo?

44:59Because a lot of people do not understand nuance. I don't worry about it a single bit. Because I think that people have the responsibility for their own actions. So there are going to be people that laugh at a joke because they appreciate the nuance. There are going to be people that laugh at a joke. Because they're fucking racist. Yeah, they might be racist. There are. You can't be a different person because of that. I defend Stern that way for years. It's like a lot of people aren't in on his thing, but that's on them. He can't be a different person to cater to the dumbest person and worry about.

45:26He has to be who he is. Now you're not creating for you. I want to create for me. Did evolve. I think because of that. But you're also allowed to evolve. That's the beautiful thing too, is I try to take time off in between every special or tour specifically so I can reflect on the change in my life. I don't have this special. I mean, if anybody's listening still right now, they probably think the special is making fun of Latinos. And it's with my sperm not working and it'd be really difficult for my wife and I to get pregnant. And this story of this journey that led us to IVF. My point is you need to be able to reflect on what's going on in your life, at least for me creatively.

46:01But what I try to do is when I'm in creative mode, I don't listen to any criticism. I don't listen to any other comedians. I want to create authentically as I can, because that's the most pure version of who I am right now. and then how the world interprets that is really up to what they care about. It's almost none of your business. It kind of is. Selfishly, I want things to be successful. Of course, I'm ambitious and competitive. At the same time, if there's a cultural necessity for the thing that I'm talking about, it will be really successful. If there isn't, it will be less successful. But it's the thing that matters to me right now.

46:35And if I start worrying about what all these different people are thinking, I won't do it authentically pure. And I know my heart is good. I know I don't have hatred for people. And if I did, it wouldn't be funny. It would be angry. And I've written jokes that were angry and they don't work. It makes people feel uncomfortable. Especially if you've been on the opposite end of any of these jokes ever. You can tell the difference between when there's hatred underneath it and when there's not. When I watched, I was texting my friend about this and I was like, there's no hatred there. I can really, really feel that.

47:07There are other really popular stand-ups that people love that I'm like, uh, uh. I think that innately we can sense it. Because I've even sensed it. You know, there's times there's comedians that do jokes about white people that are so funny. My introduction to comedy is Eddie Murphy, Def Comedy Jam, Kings of Comedy. So many white jokes. They're funny. We got to be able to laugh at ourselves. We're so fucking dorky. Dude, the Phil Jackson walk that he's doing. He's doing this. Scotty! Phil Jackson, the coach of the Chicago U. you know. Okay. That's pure sexism right there. No, it's fine. That was pure sexism.

47:40You should know that. We love the last dance. You don't know many other coaches. That's fair enough. Okay. To me, I just never felt any like malice or hatred. And then I have seen certain people that they make white jokes, for example, and I'm like, oh wow, you really just don't like white people. Yeah. And what is interesting about it is it's not as funny. When they lock onto a truth that we all feel, but when you have hatred, I don't have that hatred. So I can't really connect to that. And Maybe there's some love in it. Ideally, I'm pointing out really specific things. I've observed you. I've seen you.

48:09I've paid attention. I'm interested in you. And I know this about you. Yeah, like I love you. To me, there's something very complimentary. This is my gift. I'm going to this show. You don't expect me to talk about you and the things in your local community. You're Armenian-run when you were here in LA. I was like, you would think you lived in LA. You would have to live in LA to know all of those tiny things. And the Armenians in the audience fucking loved it. Some online were upset. And it was interesting to see some online were defending it. They were like, he was just doing this to all of us.

48:38Everybody got it. It's all good. And that's okay. The people upset can be upset about it. That's a good segue for me. So I understand fully how you're at peace. In fact, to go behind the curtain, when I did your show, I just like you a ton. Respect. Feeling is mutual. And I've gotten some flack for liking you, right? Yep, sure. You have some war with Kimmel, which is unfortunate. I'm like, why are you guys? No, I love Kimmel. We love Kimmel. We have a statue of him. We have a statue of him. But you guys had some battle. Let's not get bogged down in that one. Jimmy, I love you because Jimmy's close to Charlamagne too.

49:06And he's close to Matt. He was doing this back and forth with Aaron Rodgers. And I felt like he started with jokes. And then Aaron had a joke. And then I think Jimmy got some real life circumstances that affected him. I think he got some death threats and that kind of shit. Yeah, he's under attack. Well, there's signs up around LA, these wackos. There's a lot of crazy people out there. Then he made it not about jokes. I was like, yo, you opened the door with jokes. He responded with jokes. And then you were like, what you're doing is dangerous. And Jimmy's always someone who I've looked at and admired.

49:34He has iconic TV shows, comedy history, edgy shit. That to me, I felt a little let down. You clown this guy on national TV on one of the biggest shows. He clipped you back. To me, I'm like, that doesn't seem fair. It's like a Drake Kendrick thing, which also - Whoa, hold on. This is what I'm leaning to. So yeah, you got the Kimmel thing. I'm like, ah, it's a bummer. I'm still going to be out loud liking you. Hopefully he doesn't think it's a betrayal. Don't feel that way, Jimmy, about anybody. I hope you know this. Jimmy is our favorite person. Everybody I've ever met says that he's the best. Obviously, we haven't connected with one another, but please don't be upset.

50:10Maybe this will be the elephant. Okay, so this is behind the scenes. So I do your show. It's great. We hang out afterwards. It was so fun. You guys were so, so nice to me. You're a great storyteller. The pre-battle of me getting called a snowflake. None of that happened. So then we walk off of your show and we're just hanging for a minute. And then I go, man, you really lost Kristen. I had Kristen on board. She was on the Andrew Scholl's fucking train. And then this joke about abortion, you lost her. Yeah, it wasn't a good joke. It really wasn't a good joke. I was like, you can't lose Kristen.

50:40It was like a mathematical equation. It just didn't feel good when they heard it. It didn't have the silliness of a joke. And it smelled like slut shaming a little bit. Oh, interesting. I could see that. I didn't mean it. I don't think you did. That's something I'm learning. It's not worth explaining what you meant. Because what you said hurt people. I'm learning that with my wife. I can acknowledge that what I said hurt your feelings. If you later want to understand where I'm coming from, I'll give you that. But you don't want me to explain away your feelings right now. You just want me to acknowledge that something I said made you feel bad.

51:12I did it to my daughter this morning. I've been feeling terrible ever since. What happened? Well, I woke her up. If she ends up being late and rushed, it's a full meltdown. We can't get her to school at that point. It's just so much. So I got to get her up on time. I go to get her up on time. She's turning into a teenager. She turns 12 this month. And so I'm like, let's go, baby. And she's like, no, she slammed the door and I opened it back up. I go, you got to get up. She slammed it again. I opened up, I'm leaving this door open. The light's going to get, you know. And then she later sent me an email from school saying, I'm so sorry.

51:40I was so mean. And I'm like, oh my God, don't worry. I love you, baby. I'm sorry. I was so abrupt and blah, blah, blah. I hope you know, I'm just trying to prevent you from having a really rough morning. Sent it. And all day I'm like, just say sorry. Yeah, you don't need to explain. I didn't need to say. hey, I'm trying to prevent that. But we want to be heroes. We want to be a good guy. I just don't want to ever think I have a bad intention. Dude, this is... Your life? Yeah, it's like, I do something that might prick you. My intention is not to prick you. I'm concerned that you're going to think I'm the type of person that wants to hurt you.

52:14Yes. Or prick you. Like with your daughter. And you're just like, I just need you to know that I just love you and I want to protect you and I want to care for you. And now we're explaining. Instead of just acknowledging the feelings because you know what? They know we love them. Thank you. That's the lesson for me. We got to have more confidence. And we have this insecurity. Like every moment could change the way someone feels about us. Yes. You mean in personal relationships. Yeah. Yeah. And when I mean hurt, I don't mean saying something really mean. I mean, it could be looking at my phone when my wife's saying something really important.

52:42You're checking scores. Exactly. I'm like checking out. And instead of being, well, what I was actually doing is work so I could provide for our family or some stupid shit. She don't want to know about that. Pay attention when she's talking or say, hey, I got to finish this thing, but I really want to hear. Okay, so anyways, I've understood all your scrapes, and I've understood where you're coming from, and I understand you've accepted, yes, some people are going to be upset, and I get all that. Should we say the thing that rubbed Chris in the wrong way? Yeah, now I want it. It's not that bad.

53:08That's the reason why. I think it's going to go backwards. No, no. Okay, go ahead. Well, people are going to look for it anyway. Yeah, it'll be funny, but it's not funny, but it's funny. The idea was like, how many abortions is too many? In the world. No, like for a person. For one person. Oh, oh, oh. Like how many on the punch card? If it goes to like 20, I think that there has to be an intervention where it's like, all right, we got to do something here. Now, the idea is like the beginning of a joke. Making it silly is a joke. I don't think you anticipated what Kristen heard. What was that? Where's the guy in this scenario?

53:43So you're pissed about the girl who's had 20. Well, guess what? 20 motherfuckers knocked her up and they're not paying any price for it. And they're not getting shamed. And we don't have to punch their card or do anything for them. dudes are getting off scot-free i would argue in that scenario it's not equivalent because it's 20 different dudes but if it was the same presumably see that's where i think you could have landed this whole thing yes yes if one guy gets 20 girls pregnant neuter that motherfucker like we got to do something right but this is the artistry of a joke and i gave you like the lump of clay and it's like there might be something in there remove all the pieces to make it david it still is a piece of marble exactly exactly yeah there's the perfect example of when there's a negative reaction.

54:23It's not like these people are fucking idiots. I even commented in it. Oh, it turns out that they're not getting these late term abort. Like I even have this caveat that I put in it later after I found the information, but it doesn't matter. People don't look at that. But that's the example of I don't ever go snowflake. The joke wasn't nuanced and sliced thin enough that even the most pro-choice person in the entire world who's like, yes, 20 abortions, a girl should have 40 abortions would still laugh at. Comedy is math and it's just figuring out the equation. But it's funny because you're like, you can't offend Kristen.

54:55That's the one thing. I mean, everyone has that. Everyone has their one thing that's like, well, now you lost me. She's actually a pretty good barometer for me. Why I say her in particular, I find her to be someone who is incredibly progressive and left and has not let it affect her sense of humor. She's my favorite person on earth, but I have to say it. She's the most beautiful, white privileged person. She's all those things too. So she has the luxury to be able to laugh at fucking anything without being like, oh yeah, I remember when that was me. Isn't it great? Not for me. A white woman. I hate it.

55:32A white woman's Instagram. She's also really great at laughing at when she's getting burned. Like she gets burned a lot and she does very well with it. That's confidence. She doesn't like it when she personally gets burned. And that's the difference. And it's fair. No one likes getting personally burned. But when you are in a group that's small, they feel more personal than the overall. I just got to say it. She loves getting blasted by Bateman. She loves getting blasted by Ryan. She'd not like getting blasted by me. That's definitely true. Fair enough. But all this to say, I have seen the decisions you've made and they've all pretty much made sense to me.

56:05And I've not been scared for you. The first time I got scared for you, truly, I like, should I call him? Yeah. Was Kendrick Lamar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So just tell people what happened. So he put out an album and he had a line in it. He was like, don't ever let no white comedian talk about no black woman. That's law. First of all, how do you know that's about you? I got confirmation. Put it that way. I didn't respond for weeks. Okay. I had to shoot my special. I didn't really care. That wasn't even the thing that bothered me about the line. The next line is, and to the N words that coon and the N words that being groomed slide on both of them.

56:41Do you guys know what that term slide means? So slide is like assault or kill. I'm thinking, and the world is thinking, he's talking about Charlamagne and Alex Media, the two black dudes that are on the show with me. Oh. So once you tell people to kill my friends, you get whatever I give you. Everybody's like, oh, he's such a victim in all this. He just said whatever. Yeah, he said a stupid thing to me. You're not going to tell me who I can or can't make fun of. But you don't tell your fans to kill two of my friends or slide or assault or whatever it is. Even if it's not serious, you're putting that energy out there so don't be surprised if you get some energy back some heat that's my feeling okay so i watch your response what's really funny is i have actually a friend reach out that go like oh my god have you seen this so it comes to me in his version of telephone where he explains what you did i'm like oh boy what's his version this is so funny how this works i think he just read the reviews of what you did they made it racism yes yes this term buck breaking yes buck breaking and i'm like he said buck breaking so i now got to go find this thing so i go to your instagram and I find it and I go, okay, A does not say buck breaking.

57:46It's pretty silly. I said, I'll make sweet love to him. Right. If they were in prison together, he would make sweet love. The point I'm trying to make is like, why are you talking shit? Don't tell your fans to kill my friends. Like, I think that's a pretty fair response. Sure, sure, sure. Hey, you say to your fans to kill my friends. I say, I'll make sweet love to you. I saw it as about as playful as a fuck you, I'll kick your asses could be done. That's all it's trying to be, yeah. But now I'm really worried about you. because I'm like, well, he thinks that he's a rational person. Kendrick is a national treasure.

58:16Huge. He's a Pulitzer Prize winning. Incredibly talented. He couldn't be more talented or loved. And I'm going, bro, is this the fight you're going to pick? We got to pick our battles. Is this the one? You were fine. More of that. Don't talk about my friends, bro. My friends are more important to me than strangers. So it is what it is. Do you worry at all? There's definitely concern because he's got some affiliation to some like real dudes. Of course. Minimally, some real dudes love him. Yeah. Even if he's not affiliated, they could think they were doing a favor to someone they love. And that's how it works.

58:48He doesn't want you to get hurt. Exactly. He doesn't say to the person, go do something. The way it works is the young dudes on the street do something, hoping that it'll curry favor with the OGs. And then I heard whispers from a lot of different people and that kind of stuff, which sucks. You don't ever want that. Right. Any people who actually listen to it, my black friends who were getting death threats after the song came out, before I ever said anything, they were like, oh yeah, this is fun. We're going to have some fun. Okay, so that was one hot one. Now I want to bring up a love connection.

59:15Oh, go. I've been trying to get Monica to love you for a while now. A couple of years, would you say? That's not even true. We're going to win over. Don't you feel like I'm always kind of like trying to pitch Andrew? The first time I heard of you, Dax sent me a thing and I was like, oh my God, this is so great. And then I was like, oh, I'm going to keep looking. And you were like, well, be careful what you... Be careful. I might need to curate. I might need to curate for you. If you just look at my stand-up, usually you're good. The second you start looking at podcasts. So I did that this morning and I was like, oh my God.

59:46Because the podcasts are clay and the stand-up is the statue. And that's something that we got to grapple with just as comedians. We're talking for two hours. We're going to say some fucked up shit. But let's get to the love affair. So one of my favorite things, I saw your rant on Taylor Swift and I couldn't send it to Monica fast enough. I love her. As I was watching it, I think I interrupted it to send it to her. Oh, she's the Michael Jackson of our time. No features. No features. I think you were arguing whether Beyonce. People were upset about that. I'm sure. Yeah, you're right. Followers were probably.

1:00:16No, Beyonce fans. But I went to the show. I love Beyonce. I love her. She's incredible. She's from another universe. Yeah, they both are. But like I went to this Taylor show with my wife at SoFi and I went in there going, what am I doing? It's a cool cultural moment. Obviously, I got to check it. And I left there going, this is the highest version of live performance. The best visual guy is working. The best light guy is working. The best choreographer. It felt like I was watching the best of the best in each of their fields. And she's holding the attention of a hundred thousand people. For three hours.

1:00:52An impossibly long time. I'm a celebrator. When I experience some shit, I can't not talk about it if it's fire. If I go to some hotel that's amazing, I'm telling everybody. I don't believe in gatekeeping. I didn't get to go to these fancy ass hotels as a kid So if I'm going to like Amangiri I'm not sharing that with you once I'm like Look at my experience, I'm going yo Get some money and go here This is incredible, these rich people are on to something And we need to infiltrate Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert If you dare

1:01:31So when I saw that Taylor thing and then it's always fun to just rile up on brilliant idiots. There's that part of me. It's like a little antagonistic. I know Taylor who's on the show. She's not the biggest Taylor Swift fan. The girl Taylor is a brilliant idiot. So I knew just saying how amazing. It would rile her up. Yeah. Oh, it was so funny. And we were dying laughing at that. So shout out Taylor. Yeah. Okay. Life. Your new standup special. Yes. It's your second one on Netflix. I did a rant show on Netflix. It was back during the pandemic. Show says America. But that was a little different than standup.

1:02:00It was more like monologue version of it. Okay. So right out of the gates, I hadn't noticed this prior to this, but you know, I've been in bed with Kutcher for 22 years. He gave me my start. Yeah. You and Ashton have an extremely similar vibe. Do people ever tell you you look like him? Okay. Here's the Kutcher story. I have two Kutcher stories. Oh, great. So when I was younger, I used to get that a lot. I was studying abroad in Spain during college. I was in Barcelona and Dove, who's sitting right there. It's my first friend in college is also currently my manager and partner. now. Everybody's just part of the team.

1:02:34Literally the guy who does all our advertisements, my first friend in high school, the whole team is just the boys. You can probably be three times bigger as a business. Way bigger, but like so much less fun. Okay. He's studying abroad in Paris. We go to visit him in Paris. And then the nightclubs in Paris, I guess he explains to me, there's like an old woman at the front door and she decides who gets in. Maybe it's not like that anymore, but at the time that was pretty much the case. And Doug can talk to anybody. Yesterday, the guy who directed Dune, Denis Villeneuve, but the way that he talks to people, they think they know him.

1:03:03So the guy's walking by the table and then Dub goes ah bonjour, bonjour, whatever. And then he stops, walks over and he's like oh bonjour how are you? They've never met. Dub is almost like doing the Rickles thing where he's like I'm having dinner. Were you guys at Sunset Tower? Yes. Were you there last night? I wasn't but one of my best friends was and she was like I think I saw him there last night. Yes, 100%. Sightings. So we got some directors. We like directors, okay? Anyway, we go up to this club and he goes, hey, Andrew, I just need you to just go over here. Trust me. Everything's going to be fine.

1:03:35He goes, talks to the owner. They look at us and we go in. We're walking around and the owner is like staying with me and like really talking to me a lot. What's going on? What's your next project? And I go, I don't know. Just hanging out in Barcelona for a little bit. This motherfucker told the owner that I was Ashton Kutcher and we got like 10 people into this hot Parisian nightclub. And then this asshole leaves me with the owner without telling me. so the owner thinks Ashton is studying abroad in Barcelona for the semester

1:04:02so yeah there was maybe some similarity you guys might be identical heights too maybe very handsome okay the show is wonderful and as we already laid out a tiny bit this special is solely about getting pregnant having a baby how do you approach that so I've never told stories and I've never been personal I didn't think my life was very interesting and then it was really difficult for us to get pregnant it was the only thing I could think about like I couldn't think about any political. None of it really mattered. Started talking about it on stage. The initial part was we weren't getting pregnant and I felt kind of misled.

1:04:31Maybe it's hard to get pregnant. Like my whole life I've been trying to not get women pregnant. What the hell's going on? As it progressed, my wife got more and more concerned about it being her fault. I have a joke in there. I don't want to like repeat the joke, but it's like, I also thought it was her fault. I didn't even know it could be our fault. And I'm with you. Chris and I, when we decided to have a baby, she said, do you want to get your sperm count checked? And I go, why would I do that? I'm not assuming I have a problem. Yeah, go look at the shower. And she goes, how many times did you fuck without a rubber and you've never gotten anyone pregnant?

1:04:57And I was like, oh shit. We don't even think about that. No. We think we're playing like Russian roulette and we're just the luckiest human being on the planet. So we went and got checked and then it turned out that her ovaries were perfect and that my sperm sucks. You were told specifically it's a C plus. Yeah, a C plus. They were trying to be warm. You know it was a D. They upgraded. The plus. It was the plus that now I look back is so condescending. They're like, this will make them feel better. And it did. Yeah, of course. It's pretty much a B. If you round up. If you round up, I'm a solid B.

1:05:27Also, I have the same shitty sperm. I tried in UCLA to get, I read that I could make money donating sperm. I was a student there and I went in and I did the jerk off thing and then they called and they're like, your sperm count's not high enough. No fucking way. From taking tea or anything like that? No, it was just when I was like 21 years old. They want you to have a big sperm count at the bank. Yeah, they're so prejudiced. I was probably a C. Yeah, we don't talk about that enough, huh? No, I know. Yeah, poor you. They don't want to leave sperm out there. They only value you if you have an excessive amount of sperm.

1:05:56So once I found out it was me, this emotionally takes a big turn. And I also feel a lot more comfortable talking about it on stage. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. I think one of the big issues for couples that are struggling to get pregnant is the isolation in it. Because you don't know who the issue is. And it's so painful for the woman, especially because most of them think it's them. No guy ever thinks it's them. Yeah. Even when he told me it was me, I was like, I'll just put your legs up or something. You know, like, I was like, wait, wait, what do we need here? It's gravity. And then I would start talking about on stage.

1:06:27There would be these guys that would come up to me after shows and they'd be like, hey, man, I really liked that. So that was pretty funny. And I was like, cool. Thanks, man. He goes, yeah, no, you should keep talking about that. It's good stuff. And that was like their way of going, hey, I feel less alone now. I needed that. I didn't know that people were struggling to get pregnant. I didn't know how many women were freezing their eggs. I didn't know that this existed because it's so taboo and to a lot of people so embarrassing that they isolate, they don't share at all. And they feel deficient.

1:06:54Their friends are all having the babies. They don't know that their friends are also doing IVF. Yeah. Yeah, right, right, right. What I learned through this and maybe one of the most rewarding parts of it is when I was doing the tour, I'd start getting all these DMs. And to this day, like I screenshot all of them because I didn't market the show as this. They think they're getting crazy standup that I've been doing normally. They're going to get the Latina accent. Exactly. They come for the Latina. They stay for the fucking IVF. Basically what happens is they go, oh my God, I was actually going through this.

1:07:18It was really nice to see us laugh about it because it's been this really dark thing. And then I get a message months later with a picture of their baby. And then certain people who are going through stuff and they had trouble and maybe they saw it. And now they're like, yo, we want to try IVF because of the show. I did not expect it. I did not write it for that reason. It's the only thing on my mind. But the idea that it could de-stigmatize this thing and removing that stigma could give people the greatest thing they'll ever experience in their life, which is having a kid by far. There's nothing even comes close.

1:07:44It was really cool. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's really special to get to receive that, I think. Yeah. So you did an amazing promo with my boyfriend, the love of my life, Matt Damon. The legend. Taylor plus Matt. I mean, I did think, I was like, Matt likes Andrews. I'm qualified. I guess. Anyway, you did lean in for that promo. And I was like, oh, wow, this is really great. And I do think a lot of people who might not follow you or know your stuff or think something about you will be drawn to it because of that. But then I was like, man, I wish you would do more of that because I think his audience is limitless.

1:08:22Yeah. But we do think of you in a very certain package. Yeah, exactly. I think that can be misleading for all humans, which is you have such a sharp skill set that really anything you bring that talent to bear on is going to yield results and it could mislead everyone. We had Robert Sapolsky. Evolutionary biologist. Yeah, he's the smartest person alive, probably. And he's a determinist. And I'm like, great, you've made a great argument. But can you acknowledge you could have turned that same brain on free will and made just as convincing of an argument? It's just like, where do you want to focus this hyper talent?

1:08:55Let me ask you if this observation rings true. for you. In the last eight years, we've watched so many people become famous in the podcast space, whether it's Huberman or name the number of people. And I'm not using Huberman as an example in this, but I've watched many of these people get led by their audience instead of them leading their audience. Their audience will take them in a fucking rabbit hole. I've seen like eight people taking themselves out where they started here and they literally went in the rabbit hole because they just were responding to the most vitriolic response. Do you see that?

1:09:26I see that a lot. I I think it's a really astute observation. A lot of people don't realize how much the algorithm really dictates your content. And this is why when I was saying earlier, like I try to block out everything when I'm in creator mode, even the algorithm. We'll put out episodes. I know how to make every episode go crazy, but then you're a grifter. It's important to me to put out episodes, talk about the things we want to talk about with the people we're interested in. And you would hope that your core fans will maybe share some appreciation of those people. but I understand that it's going to alienate some.

1:09:57And I think what happens a lot of times for people in our position is once you get some success with success, there's always scrutiny. That's the cost of success. Criticism is the cost. We have to pay it. But when you feel immense scrutiny, it is very easy to retreat towards protection and protection is usually one ideology. If you're just the right guy, the right got your back. As long as you say all those things, if you're just the left guy, the left got your back as long as you said, vacillating between the two is going to piss both of them off. I feel like this is the road I've struck down, unfortunately.

1:10:31No, but that's how you maintain your authenticity. And then the people that actually know you appreciate you as a person and not just a mouthpiece for one ideology, which I don't want to be. I just want to be me. And I'll say this too about who I think is so fucking funny. Shane Gillis. Shane Gillis. Shane is great, man. He's so good. That's the unfortunate thing of our current society is you're watching things trying to pin them to a camp the whole time. It's like, whoa, where are they? Are they liberal? Are they conservative? And what's fun about Shane is it's a hardcore conservative position.

1:10:59It's a hardcore left position. It's bouncing back and forth. And I personally love and cherish that. And you're bouncing back and forth in this special. You definitely have some moments, I think. I think so. This isn't funny. This is just another observation. So we went through the same thing. You're there, you're in labor forever. All of a sudden people rush in, the heart rate is crashed. And now you're having this emergency thing. Oh, did Chris have a C-section? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How scary is that shit? It is. Did you have this moment? This is so dark to say, and I would never make this decision now, but on the ride with her in a gurney and me walking next down the hallway and 15 doctors all in a panic, I literally said, just keep Kristen alive.

1:11:37I don't give a fuck. Like I was so excited to have this baby, but my God is my wife in danger right now. Yep. A hundred percent. I was just like, please keep her alive. And now I'd be like, take her. I keep Lincoln and Delta. You know what's funny is that Kristen would probably give her life a hundred times over. She'd have me killed a thousand times. Save him a broken arm and I want her to. Take him. But yeah, it's terrifying. I think birth is one of these opportunities where you get to see someone put 100 % effort. It's very rare in life you get to see 100 % effort. You get to see your partner do that.

1:12:12And it's pretty awesome because we think we work hard. We're like, oh, I work 12 days. And then you get to see your partner really fucking light it up. And Emma lost a lot of blood. And this is like really beautiful. The baby latched and they told her, they're like, hey, listen, I know you're exhausted. And you had lost a lot of blood. It would be really helpful for the baby if you can feed. I remember she stayed up. She fed the baby. The baby pulled off. They took the baby. And she's like, is she okay? Is she full? And they're like, yeah, she's full. She's fine. And she goes, okay. And then she just fell asleep.

1:12:42Died. But it was just like, she gave everything. Everything. Does it make you admire her? Fuck yeah. And you go, oh, this new thing I care so much about. Hit the jackpot with this. With a mom. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Full of gratitude on the baby's behalf. And there's also a moment where you're like, if you ever fucking talk back to your mom. Yeah, right? I hope you talk back to your mom. I hope you do that shit in front of me. I hope you give her some attitude in front of me. That's what I say to Monica all the time. Like, my dream in life is someone shoves her. Beware they're getting shoved and falling down just so I can react.

1:13:14That's funny. That's what you're hoping when you're walking. That's funny. Even you coming today, I'm like, I want to be bros with you for life, to be honest. If it goes down, it's going down. And that's how it's got to be. It really didn't go down. I knew it wouldn't go crazy. I did too. It is good to enter thinking that. I try to have people with different opinions on my podcast, but maybe it's important for me to go on others as well, because then their audience is like my audience knows that my thinking is diverse, but the other audience might not. So coming to a place like here, maybe you get a well-rounded version.

1:13:49That's been my thing recently is like, I don't need to go on another liberal podcast. What I need to do is go on Two Bears, go on Ideally Rogan and go, you can also be a masculine dude and cares a lot about people and wants to help them. You can do all those things. You're not a pussy if you care. I adore you. I love you guys. Thank you so much. I'm so glad this happened. I really appreciate you guys doing in this. Oh my God. Yeah. All right. Everybody watch Life. It's fantastic. It's on now on Netflix. You have it. Watch it. Also listen to the brilliant idiots and flagrant. Go listen to Dax's episode of flagrant.

1:14:21If you haven't already, it's awesome. It was very fun. You guys are so sweet. Thank you so much. He is an arm care expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. Thank God Monica's here. She's got to let him have the facts. I'm working late because I'm a singer. It's a good song. I think that's the cutest lyric I've ever heard. Yeah, it's a good one. I'm working late because I'm a singer. She's very cheeky. Oh, my God. I'm so late to the party, but now I'm an enormous Sabrina Carpenter. It started with Bedkem. Oh. Do you know that song? Is it on the new out? Is it recently? I'll play you one teast of it before we get flagged for copyright infringement.

1:15:04But let me see if I can give you a teast of it. Let's hear it.

1:15:10I don't know this one, I don't think. I was driving with Delta to school today, and we listened to it every morning. And I said, you know the sign of a really, you know when a song's a fucking jam? A lot of times you're driving in cars, and the song's good, and it's a dancey track. And you're like, maybe clicking your fingers, and maybe you're dancing a little bit. But if a song hits, you can't resist dancing with your shoulders. I was telling her that's what you look for. Okay. And so we were both in the car fucking. we're really getting our shoulders active this morning it was a blast nice it's really fun now it's now that i love her favorite artist i know it's fun for her yeah of course because now i'm on the sabrina train yeah and i'm like what about this one she's like have you listened to juno and then i'm like okay i listened to juno it was a little slower she i was worried it was gonna be a little too slow for you so we're really like okay i like that it's very fun there's you She gets sexy, Sabrina.

1:16:06Oh, she is. There's some real sexual stuff. In fact. Juno is sexual. Well, that's, I'm so glad you brought this up. I would have forgot to say this. So we're laying in bed last night. We're talking about Juno. And, you know, I'm like, I don't want to tell her it wasn't my favorite because it's her favorite. But I am not going to lie to her. All right. So here we are. So we're working through it. She's like, yeah, I understand. It's a little more of this than that. And she goes, but do you know what Juno is? and I go no and she's like well it's a movie and I go oh the movie Juno yes I know she goes yeah she said I want um you to make me Juno because it's a story about a girl who gets pregnant yeah and I go yeah I go oh that's a little um that's a little nasty all right I see and she goes what's nasty about wanting to have a baby with somebody and I go well it's a teenager she's in high school and she goes oh she's in high school so she she knew part of the juno story she said no she was in high school she thought it was romantic yes and the way she's phrased it was like wait what's nasty about wanting to have a baby with someone you love and i was like oh no there's nothing nasty about that i'm just saying i want to get pregnant in high school is kind of a nasty fun lyric yeah nasty and i'm it is a positive nasty i'm saying yeah of course i brought a list today okay okay do you want to tell me something you want to talk about before i get to the next thing i want to talk about um yes so i have a i had another ear ear situation an ear infection not a full infection schwimmer's ear not schwimmer's ear i wish um no i so i have three holes.

1:17:49Okay. And I don't really use the top one very much at all, but I found these earrings and, and it didn't look right in the second hole. So I moved them up to the third hole and I had to like, really like work it in, shove it in. Yeah. Re, re, re puncture it. Yeah. But I cleaned it. I did my best. And then it did start hurting pretty quickly, but I left it cause it looked so cute. It was a very similar story to last time. Yes. And I left it and I left it. And then that night I took it out and it was like really hard to get out. Like I think it had swollen sort of around it. So I yanked it out. And then I cleaned it all up.

1:18:28It had like fused to the metal. Yeah. And then I cleaned it up. But it was really painful. And I couldn't like lay on. I couldn't lay. I had to back sleep. Isn't it weird that your upper ears are very prone to infection? You're sensitive. Yeah, the higher you get on my ear, I think they just can't handle it. It's just very infection prone. Don't say it was such a gross face. Well, it is. It's very. It's not my fault. It's like a cess. I prefer to call it sensitive. Okay, it's sensitive. Anyways. Particularly sensitive to infection. Yeah. Yeah, of as many sensitivities. And yeah, and it had like a big like, you could feel the big like node in there.

1:19:11Big lump of infection. Make that face. Anyway, it's feeling a little bit back to normal. Okay. I'm glad you got it out of there because that's an improvement. The big question is, am I allowed to do it again? I think it's a wrap on your upper ears. Really? I mean, repeat the same thing. Expect a different result. It's like two for two. Or it's like maybe it just needs a couple times before it can acclimate. I mean, it's your body, your decision. So but I think we stay away from there. OK. Bit me twice. Shame on me. You're at the shame on me part. First time was shame on your ear. Sure. And now shame on you.

1:19:51Yeah. Well, we'll see. Yeah. Now, this one I flagged. I did flag it with you in mind. I thought this would interest you, even if the topic doesn't, because of where the money comes from. OK. I read this headline yesterday or the day before. unmarried Hermes heir. That's hard to say. I know this story. Leaving$11 billion to former Gardner. I know. He's going to adopt the Gardner so that he can pass it on. There'll have to be a movie about this, right? Of course. It's not like he got left a million dollars. You got left, you're in the top 200 richest people in the world kind of money. It's so sweet.

1:20:42Although there is some little bit of it having to do with he doesn't want control of his portion to go to certain people. Yeah, I think it's also a strategic move, but an extremely generous strategic move. And if I'm the gardener, I don't really give a shit what your motivation is. Of course not. You give me that$11 billion. I know. Can you imagine waking up? You went to bed. Yeah. You had like$3 ,000 in the bank. Yeah. And the next morning you have$11 billion. I mean, of course, like a pessimistic version of this is that they were in love. I mean, that's a weird thing to say. It's like cynical.

1:21:20I guess. It's like they're in love. So that's why this is happening. But like the better story. It could be unrequited love. Maybe. Ooh, God. God, okay, if someone was in love with me and I wasn't in love with them and I made that clear, but they could not stop pursuing. Yeah. And then they died. And left you$11 billion. And left me$11 billion. Would I? Love them posthumously? No. Would I feel like, I can't accept this. No, because you had been honest. Yeah. If you led them on and married them as they had gotten their cancer prognosis, yeah, you're pretty shady. Okay. Okay. But also, it's sad.

1:22:10It's like he just loved me so much. That even if you didn't like him, he still wanted you to be happy. That's true love. You should have loved him back. I know. I regret this. You should. I really regret not loving him back. Okay. I want to know more about the gardener. Yeah, me too. And I want to know, because it's in Italy or something. Where are they? More France, probably. Okay, is that where Hermes is? Okay, that makes more sense then. Okay, probably not Croatia. I mean, we don't know where they are. They're billionaires. They could be anywhere. Sky's the limit. They could be in the sky. Their money knows more.

1:22:44They could be living up in the sky in Elysium. Yeah. He's older. I think the gardener is 50. Oh, Jesus. My age. Oh, yeah. I guess he can totally still enjoy it. Yes, exactly. So I have such a disconnect when reading someone's 50. That does not sound like my age. Right. It doesn't sound like your age to me either. I think I'm just coming to terms with this in the very second. Wow, yeah. That it's 50. It's really 50. It's not 40. But 50 is the new, like, it's the new 45. Like, I think of you. 45? We can't do better than that? No. Okay. Like I'm being realistic. I think of you as 45. Okay. Kind of perpetually.

1:23:31Permanently? Yeah. Okay. I'll try to live up to that. I'm certainly trying my hardest to live up to it. I think, I don't mean you look 45 or like, I mean. I definitely look 50 is what you're. No, God, what a trap. No, I'm just saying you'll live at that age for me forever. Right. It's going to be hard for me when I turn 45 because I'm going to be like. When you turn 50 and you're five years older than me. Yeah, it's going to get confusing. It's going to get messy. Yeah. Okay. We might have to update. TBD, when I turn 60, you might bump me up to 50. Okay. What is your age in your head currently?

1:24:1240. 40. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm 40. Yeah. Pretty sure I'm 40. You might want to go check and see if you're 40. 50? Yeah. That's a real number. I know. Oh my God, this is really just hitting me. Wow. Yeah, because when I read the Gardner was 50, I was like, oh, he gave a guy that's almost dead a blowout. I wish he would have given it to him when he was 30. You can't, no. But now I realize he's just my age. He's just a guy, he's a little boy my age. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. 50. I feel like I'm 32. Yeah. Yeah, I can sign off on that. I feel 32. So we're both deducting five years. I guess. Yeah. No, you're deducting 10.

1:25:0145? You said I was 45. Yeah, but you said you were 40. Oh, yeah, I think I'm 40. Oh, no, 45 is old. Older than I am. Tell you this much. Oh, wait, let me look up the Hermes Gardner. Yeah, I wonder if he's doing any press now that he's an 11 billionaire. I hope he disperses some of the money to other people. I hope this is a cascade of people getting called and going like, hey, guess what? You have$100 million. You guess what? Because he could give 110 people$100 million. But I think part of it is now that guy will own a percentage of Hermes. Okay, so really, it's not cash. It's value in the company.

1:25:40Oh, that's a good. Okay. It says Nicholas. You. Oh, boy. P-E-U-C-H. P-E-U. P-E-U. A fifth generation heir to the Hermes fortune reportedly plans to adopt his former gardener and handyman, a 51-year-old man from a modest Moroccan family, and bequeath him a substantial portion of his estimated$12 billion,$13 billion fortune. It says he's reclusive and childless, AD. He's AD. He owns approximately 5.7 % of Hermes shares. Hmm. Okay. What if this guy's first line of work is to introduce a line of Hermes clothing for gardeners specifically, like patches in the knees? Oh, my God. That's actually cute.

1:26:29Yeah. That would be cute. He could take this. He might be worth$30 billion after he implements. Puke has a strained relationship with his family. You can't call him that. What's his first name? Pooch has a strained relationship with his family and initially had plans to leave his fortune to the Isocrates Foundation, a charity he founded. However, he reportedly reversed those plans, possibly due to disagreements with his family, and is now in the process of arranging his estate to pass on his wealth to his former employee. Former, not even his current gardener. I know. It's his old gardener. Oh, wow.

1:27:03Yeah. God, these bags are nice. No one's gotten an interview with the gardener. What's the gardener's name? They haven't. I'm not seeing. That's probably best. Yeah. They'll kill. Well, just like it's not a good idea when people I've watched some docs on lottery winners. There's a lot of fascinating stuff about lottery winners. One is they file bankruptcy or a really high rate, which is sad. Yeah. But also the amount of people that come out of the woodwork. Oh, yeah. Looking for money. And I guess it kind of makes sense. Like if you're asking for somebody for the money they earned. I think it's a different threshold than like hey you found out your friend found 50 million dollars in his backyard which is basically what winning the lottery is well he didn't you know maybe he'd be easy come easy go with it because he just found it and so you feel like if someone passes it down you feel more of a responsibility to that person maybe well I just think if they said his name out loud people everyone that knows him like but you get given 11 billion dollars give me some oh whereas if he built some business for 40 years they wouldn't be like give me some of your business it is really funny people really feel like like give me some is a real give me some it's like a real thought in a lot of people's heads yeah you have so much money and you should give me some for free I certainly never felt that way like there was a period where you know my mom and my brother were partners and they both made a very good living in Michigan when I was quite broke in California.

1:28:36And I never felt like they should give me some money. Yeah. But sometimes when we're with Bill Gates, I do think, why does he just give me a billion dollars to be funny? No, that's not. Isn't that funny? I don't think that's that funny. It's fun for me. It's fun for you. It's fun for me and funny for him. I don't think it's funny for anyone else. So I do think that when I'm around someone who's got like hundreds of billions of dollars, I do think, well, you could give me a dollar. That's basically you've got$200 and you give me a dollar for fun. It's true. Like, obviously, the more somebody has, the more like, it's like, yeah, Bill, maybe you just give me a million, actually.

1:29:16Like, that's nothing for him. Can I just have a million? Just because it's funny. Because you're like, oh, my God, you know, the last time I saw Dax, I gave him$16 million. Just like out of nowhere. He wasn't even expecting it. This is my best joke. I gave Dax. Yes, it's a great joke. Okay, but I guess that's how everyone feels. That's right. So, yeah, if anyone has a million dollars and they have$20 ,000, of course, they're going to be like, give me 50 ,000 of your dollars, please. That's right. It's too much for you. Yeah. I guess I get it all. I get it. So everyone can say, give me some. I guess it's allowed.

1:29:54That's what you're deputizing everyone in your life. Oh, on the topic of give me some, which my tattoo artist has started saying, give me money to show your arm. Oh, OK. I did sit for seven hours and have everything. I think we got to put an end to that story because I didn't list the arm cherries. Close the gap. You want to close the door. Now they call it close the loop. Close the loop. Right. So it happened. And I sat for seven hours and this great guy, Marky, that is a tattoo artist in Illinois that Robbie knows. Yes, Rob. Robbie Wob. Yep. I wonder if he likes Robbie. I say Robbie a lot. It's just so cute.

1:30:39Well, Robbie's confusing for me because I have my own Robbie. You have your own. Well, I do too a little bit. I have your Robbie. Oh, exactly. So. The man who's giving everyone epilepsy. So, Wobby Wob is so. He's giving everyone epilepsy. But there's no other. There's other Robbies, but there's no other Wobby Wob. There is no other Wobby Wob. But it was his dude. Wonderful guy. And yeah, everything has been altered enough that now I can be in a commercial in a short sleeve shirt. That's exciting. I'm very happy. I got my limb back. Yeah. That's exciting. And me and my best friend Aaron Weekly got matching J2C tattoos.

1:31:19Yes. Yeah. Do you want to show to the camera? Can you see it? I can't really see it, which is a bummer. What do you mean? Well, I would like to be able to see it. Yeah, you can't see it because you put it on your neck. Yeah, then I can't see the back of my neck. Correct. Because I just found out. Oh, you didn't think it's through it. I would have assumed I could see. I didn't realize I can't see the back of my neck. Yeah, so it's kind of behind your ear. Yeah, and I move my ear in the mirror, and that doesn't help me. So I don't really know. I'm not sure what it looks like. It looks great. Okay, it's there.

1:31:45It says J2C. Wait, that's it? Not that anyone needs reminding January 2nd. Capricorn. Is yours black? Both of us are the same. The J and the C are blue and the two is red. I need to look closer. Okay. Get a little closer with air and extra dry. And that's what I want. I want people to really get into my neck to look at this thing. Because I want to invite a vampire to bite me so that I can live forever. You ever want to live forever? Oh my god. No. Well, not like that. I don't want to live like a vampire. So many people say they don't want to live forever. It's just very common. I think it's the most popular answer to that.

1:32:29Do you? I think the most popular answer is they do, but then once you start thinking about it, you think. No, everyone I talk to says no. They all go like, I don't want to live forever. But what I don't think is realistic about that is like what day do they think they're going to wake up and go like, yeah, I want to die today. So when you think about it that way, they wait one day at a time. I think one day at a time you would live forever. You're just not going to wake up and be like, okay, yep, bride's over. I think the older you get, way older than 50, way older. 250? You get uncomfortable.

1:33:05In this scenario where you can live to 250, I'm living as I am today. They completely arrest my aging. Yeah, I'll be 40 for the next 210 years. I think you might get tired of this. I really do. I guess what I'm saying is you'd have to be suicidal one day. You'd have to wake up and go, I don't want to live anymore. Yeah. Right. And I don't think people do that part of the equation. It's like, well, what day do you think you're going to wake up and be suicidal? I don't think it would be the same as being suicidal in a real regular life. Right. Because you have such a limited amount of time in a regular life.

1:33:43And so to cut that short is obviously caused by depression. You have an expectation. And it's. Yeah. But if you're you've been on earth for 250 years. Yeah. I don't know that I would say it's suicidal to say like, you know, I think I think I did it. I'm done. As it as the same way that like an 85 or 90 year old, sometimes I think they feel like, well, I'm depending. But I do think some people are like, I lived my life and I'm done now. But I do think most of those people, their quality of life's gone down quite a bit. They don't, they can't go out and do things and they can't, you know, there's loneliness and isolation and body pains and incontinence.

1:34:30Don't forget incontinence. Like if you're peeing your pants three times a day, you'd be like, I'm fucking done. I'm sick of cleaning my. Well, somebody else would be cleaning it. You know. So you'd like, you're the one that wanted to wear diapers and pee in the bed. Yeah. It sounds great. You already walked out. Last night, yeah, I would have loved to have been wearing a diaper. See? It's not going to slow you down. I don't know. I guess it's just we won't know until we try it. Yeah. But my gut is I will be ready to be done. By then. I really do. I was wondering if that's a sign of depression.

1:35:05That should be on like a first questionnaire. Maybe. Do you feel like you're going to be done soon? Yeah. Yeah. ironically i'm not scared of dying me neither i mean i'm scared of everyone else dying and that's part of it if you live 250 years the amount of loss you are gonna have accumulated is a lot it's a lot but you'll be making new friends and having more children and having more lives no i know you You have to just think, what if you could live a whole other life in France and then a whole other life in China? Like, yeah, there's so many corners of the world. Yeah. To keep things interesting.

1:35:49And then after like 800 years, you're like, I'm going to move back to Milford, Michigan. Try that out again. Hope it's still there. It will be not what you remember. Probably be skyscrapers and flying cars. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, though. It's like, are we just. I think our lives are supposed to have an end. I don't know. Clearly they are. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And so I think if we monkey around with that. That's the part I think is interesting. Yeah. People think like you're going against nature. What you're really saying is you're going against God. There's something deep that people think you're playing God if you live forever.

1:36:26I don't think that because I don't believe that. Like, but I. It's the moral dump founding. You're like, you know, it's greedy and too much to ask to live forever. There's something about it. Like there's some moral imperative that feels like being violated by living forever. I think there's something very poetic about a life. We've been forced to view it that way, though, because it is that is what it is. I think we have no choice but to see it as poetic. But I don't know. I think wisdom is real. And I think wisdom obviously comes with experience, but it also comes with knowing that the end is coming closer.

1:37:05So I don't know if we are living forever, if anyone really ends up acquiring wisdom, like the feeling that you talk about when you talk about like your kids. That's a feeling that I think a lot of older people feel about life in general. They just see the preciousness of the whole picture and humanity and people. And I think that's a really beautiful thing. And I think you earn that by inching towards the end. I really do. Where you start cherishing everything. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Think how much wisdom you could have, though, after 400 years. I don't think you would. I even feel this aging myself is like, you'd have seen so many market collapses, social upheaval that you would go like, yeah, and it'll pass.

1:37:57Yeah. You know, kind of like kind of like emotions in your body. And I've gotten to that. Like, I've just seen like, you know, 2008. You're a monster if you drive an SUV. The SUV market collapses. Yeah. And then I look up one day and it's like, oh, everyone's trying to cross over an SUV and everyone just kind of forgot about that thing. Right. And just these cycles of like everyone decided everything is just this is so terrible and we're done with this. And then I watch it come right back up. Yeah. For me, it's helpful because I'll watch the current craze of like what is going to go away and I'll just go like, yeah, maybe.

1:38:31Well, I don't know. We'll see how this. Yeah. My friend Sally, she has this guy in her building. He's older. I think maybe like 90, like during the election time, he was like, it's four years. Right. Yeah. And I think some of that you're seeing some of that in me. In our current thing. You're only 40. I don't think you get to say that. I haven't earned that right. The 90 year old gets to. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert. If you dare.

1:39:13All right. Okay. Well, this is for Andrew. Andrew Schultz. Andrew Schultz. Yes. Some feedback just came in because it's on the week early. It's on Wondery Plus already. Yeah. And already I read a couple people say like, oh, my God, what a fucking incredible episode. So that was good. That's great. Yeah. It was good to have him and talk some stuff out. Okay. Russia. McDonald's. Oh. Yeah. They did sell it to a local buyer, McDonald's, during the war. They sold it. Well, they left Russia. They left Russia. Yeah. And then those buildings just got taken over by some other company. Right. But still in the food.

1:39:59Still at McDonald's. Yeah. No, what's the name now? It's called. Vladimir Putin's hamburger house. Exactly. Putin's Patty Melhouse. Putin's Patties. Putin's Patties. I'd go. Vakusno Tachka. It translates to Tasty and That's It. Tasty and That's It is the title. That feels very Russian, my stereotype. It was like. I know. It's so bleak. Yeah. This is what I said, like, you know, my story of my Russian stone person. my first house whatever that is 20 years ago and I was redoing the bathroom and the contractor had brought the stone person that was going to put in all the stone in the bathroom but he hadn't said anything and the contractor was like do you want a steam shower do you want this do you want there's so many options right and at a certain point I said sometimes I just wish I was doing this fucking bathroom in Russia it's like you want to take shit yes no you want to wash face so I do my Russian thing uh-huh and there's no laughing oh and i say are you russian to the guy there and he's like yes but it is funny oh good everyone else left okay oh wow yeah yeah yeah okay so tasty and that's it tasty and that's it if you don't like tasty then fucking keep it moving yep okay now is Fanta Nazi Coke.

1:41:28Fanta, owned by Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola company. Fanta was introduced in 1940 and is the second oldest brand owned by Coca-Cola. Introduced in Germany? Correct, during World War II due to ingredient shortages. Okay, so it was created there in Germany land. That's right, in World War II. Okay. So, ellipses. We'll leave it at that. I always find this so interesting. Yeah. I bring it up kind of too often. But Adidas and Puma were brothers. Really? Yes. They own a shoe company together. I didn't know that. And at the outbreak of World War II, one was a sympathizer and one was not. And the company split up over it.

1:42:17So Puma is the non-Nazi one? I'm not going to say anything out loud. Yes. Well, yeah, we already know about Adidas and their. Adidas. Yeah, that is, that was his name, right? I think that was their last name. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Nazi got the last name. Then the other one had to go with Puma. Pretty cool. Hey, I like Puma. I mean, everyone likes Pumas, but like, you get to, when it's your last name, it's a blank slate. And you get to like really make that a brand. When it's Puma, you already have an idea of what a Puma is. The logo has to be a Puma. Yeah. Got to be a mid-sized mountain cat. Okay.

1:43:02Donnie Burns is the Scottish ballroom dancer who has won many titles and holds a Guinness world record. I was looking up most winningest ballroom dancer. How many has he won? Well, he's won 14-time world professional Latin champion, 11-time international Latin American dance champion. That's what's unfair to a lot of these disciplines. You know, a guy like Jordan wins six rings and you're like, he's the Michael Jordan of whatever. And then some other guys win. He's on 14 times. He's like, Jordan, you need a stepstool to kiss my ass. That's what he would say. That is probably what he would say.

1:43:37Yeah. Yeah. I guess that is unfair. Okay. Andrew said that Tim Waltz said he was at the Battle of Gettysburg in the Civil War. That was obviously a joke. Hyperbole. That was hyperbole. And it was a joke. It was Tiananmen Square. Correct. That he said he was there or a part of. And he was not. Okay. So that was bad. Okay. Bipolar. You said 10 times the rate in Japan. I mean, I'm sorry. We have 10 times the rate over Japan. The United States has the highest lifetime rate of bipolar disorder at 4.4%. India, the lowest with 0.1%. And Japan, 0.7%. 0.7. 44 divided by seven is almost seven. Yeah. Yeah.

1:44:30So seven. Seven percent. No. Seven times. Seven. We have seven times the rate, not 10 times the rate. Yeah. That's still astronomical. That's a lot. Yeah. It's a lot. Is Jack Schlossberg JFK's grandson? Yes. He is. Congratulations. Oh, OK. I thought he looked like Ben Schwartz. And I thought he looked like Ashton Kutcher. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't. He doesn't look like Ben Schwartz, but they have similar mannerisms. And then this also, I just started watching The Pit. Right. Which is on Max. It's a medical drama. It's ER. Just call it ER. It's basically ER. It has Noah Wiley. John Wells, I think, is the show.

1:45:13Correct. And it's fun. I really just like medical drama. The only one I ever got hooked on was House. That's the one I didn't do. Because Hugh Laurie is so incredible. Yeah, he is such a good actor. And he's a cantankerous addict. Right. And the most brilliant doctor on the planet. So you never watched ER? No. Really? No. Well, I just finished a pit and I'm going to restart ER. I thought you were going to say you're going to restart pit. No. I just finished pit and I'm going to restart it. I mean, that is something I have done, but no, I'm going to restart ER. I'm excited about that. I was too busy in life when that came out.

1:45:51You know, I was like early 20s, I think. I wasn't at, I wasn't watching TV. I was like out every single night doing something fun. Yeah, you were probably nine. Yeah, because I, I have very vivid memories of watching it with my mom in bed. The fun. Yes. And in our house in Tennessee. So I would have been seven. Watching? TV in bed is so fun. It is. Yeah. We would watch ER. So seven. So yeah, you were 19. Yeah. That was nostalgic watching The Pit. But there's an actor on there that is so Ashton-y. Oh, really? Yes. Uh-huh. And there's an actress that is very Christina Ricci. Ooh. So there's a lot of doppelgangers on that show, which is interesting.

1:46:40And then I was reminded that there are some there's like some people that are cutouts in the sim. There's like they're a cookie cutter that gets stamped and then they just like change some things. I've been saying this. Yeah. Now that I'm 40 and I've met tens of thousands of people in my life. Yeah. I think there's like 1600 people. Right. I meet doubles nonstop. Yeah. And then what's crazy is the people with the same physicality, their personalities are generally the same, too. Like, I think how you look ends up predicting a little bit how you're going to act. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. So they just take like they like make the ear a little bigger and like flatten the nose a little bit.

1:47:23They're like, that one's good. Yeah, they do like a two percent. Exactly. Kind of like my tattoos. Ding, ding, ding. Change them enough that they're original. Exactly. Okay. I didn't know what buck breaking was. ugly term not ugly ugly activity right correct the history of sexual exploitation of black people by the dominant society particularly the sexual exploitation of black men we're gonna go out on buck breaking no no no no AOC's district voted for Kamala okay she lost some votes okay but she still won it gotcha so some people moved over is the thing but not the majority. Gotcha. Okay. That's it.

1:48:09That settles it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Wonderful. That was, I was glad we had him on. Oh yeah, me too. Yeah. All right. Love you. Love you.