Anthony Anderson

21:53If Stevie could see, he wouldn't have made some of those fashion choices that he's made over the years. Okay, so that's the other bit of - That's evidence for the other side. And he wouldn't have kept getting those braids with his hair receding the way that it was. Stevie would have started and be like, yo, what the fuck y 'all doing to my line? Y 'all pushing my hairline back. I got cow legs now. Okay. I do want to go back to Compton, to childhood. Oh, let's go. We're of similar age. And when I was growing up, all the music was coming from there that I loved. The movies I loved at that moment were coming from there.

22:25And you were living there. So a couple of questions. What was it like growing up there? And then also, I just trying to imagine my hometown being the source of all these great movies, all this great music, what that felt like to be there. And was there some disconnect of, oh, yeah, everyone's into this. It's on TV, but it's not a party here. Oh, it's a combination of all that. You know, I'll start with the latter first. It's not a party or celebrated the way that people were digesting it or enjoying it, but it was my reality. So the shit that you saw and the things that people were entertained by, the music, the culture, the movies that were in and about Compton, it was also about these places around the country as well, but it was centered here.

23:04It was crazy, man. You know, I wasn't affiliated with any gangs, but you're affiliated by association. You're affiliated because it's the block that you live in. I was going to say your neighborhood probably plays a big role in shit. Yeah, they were like, I don't give a fuck. You live on Holly or you live in Luters Park. You live in these places that were what they were. I come from a blood territory, a blood hood, and the other hood surrounding areas were Crips. Whether or not I was a part of the gang culture, it didn't matter. Right. To the other side, that's where you live. Yeah. So that's what you're about.

23:36I had to walk through all of that. I went to the high school for the performing arts. Which was at Hollywood High? No, no, no. That's Hollywood High. That's where I graduated. That's where I did my senior year. Oh, okay. Okay. This is the LA County. The LA County High School for the Performing Arts. I was part of the inaugural class in 1985. I'm actually going back to do their 40 year reunion this year. Oh, cool. Somebody reached out to me and asked me to be a part of it. And I never wanted to be a part of the school. Why? Because they kicked me out for having weed. I get why you did it, but you let the white boys with cocaine stay in the school.

24:06I know I'm getting off our topic and I'll get back to it, but I had an issue with the administration. Right. So for the longest time, people that I knew there were students there, I had friends who had kids there. You should come back and talk to the school. And I was like, no. And then one day I woke up and I was like, but that's doing a disservice to the students. Exactly. Who did nothing to you. Who did nothing to me and would love for somebody like me to be there and be a part of that. Absolutely. So years ago, I decided, OK, whenever they ask me again, I'm there. So I had to be ready for school by 530 because I had to walk a mile and a half to a bus stop.

24:36530 in the 80s. Shit's popping. Oh, yeah. Especially in the hoods where I'm from. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? Mornings were like extra? Well, because people have been smoking crack all night long. They're still out. They're still buying. All this shit. Drive-bys. Nobody schedules a drive-by 3.30 in the afternoon. It's like, yo, we're going to catch them when we catch them. So walking through my hood was fine. But then I had to walk through other neighborhoods. You hear Tupac and them talk about Long Beach and Rosecrans. You hear people rap about that shit. That's my neighborhood. Yeah. That's the corner where I had to sit and wait for a bus at 5.50 in the morning.

25:07Right across the street are the Santana block Crips, diametrically opposed to the Ludus Park Bloods. And then the mob. I'm probably speaking French to y 'all and all this other shit, but those who know who are listening understand. So I had to sit on that bus stop at 5.50 in the morning waiting for a 6 a.m. bus. That takes me two hours to get to school. And then I had to reverse it at 4 o 'clock when I got out of school and come home. So really quick, what's the survival mechanism? Is it ignoring? Is it acknowledging? Is it ignoring until you have to acknowledge? You don't ignore it. That's when you get caught.

25:39You know, your head is always on a swivel, especially moving alone in areas that are hot spots. I'm always conscious of where I am. That's just the era that I come from and the neighborhoods that I come from. So when you were seeing it blow up in pop culture, to be fully honest with you, my best friend, Aaron, who I'm still best friends with, we left Detroit right when we graduated high school. We went on a road trip. We lived in the car for like six months. When we came to L.A., our very first stop was where South Central? Very wide of you. Yeah. We want to see all the action. And then we got there.

26:13And being from Detroit, the projects in Detroit, you know you're looking at them. Yeah. And we were like, these are kind of nice houses. It was a little confusing. I was going to ask you that. There's all these like World War II bungalow developments. It's very confusing if you're from the East Coast to come out and see. Well, and also what's been presented in media and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if I were you, I would be like, what the fuck are these white boys doing? They're tourists. That's when you get caught up. So you never got caught up in anything. No, but I was also smoking crack in Detroit.

26:43I've never known that about you. Oh yeah, I'm an ex-addict and I used to be in the gnarliest apartment smoking crack in Detroit. We recognize that. Yeah, I knew how to get by. And so did Aaron. Okay. But all to say, I'm trying to imagine what it is when you're inside of it. And people, they themselves are enamored by it. Yeah. Is it annoying? Yeah, it is. It's like when the baby falls into the gorilla cage or somebody gets into the cage. You want to see the motherfuckers get ripped apart. Yeah. I should say when the baby falls in because that's an accident. But when motherfuckers get in and like want to play with the lions and want to play with the monkeys and you know better.

27:16Yes, yes, yes. It's like, motherfucker, there's a wire cage and there's a brick fence. You climbed all of this. You swam across the moat to get this. You deserve whatever you're about to get right now. And the animal should not be punished. Yeah, exactly. For what is about to happen to you. Yes. And it's fucked up that the animal has to be killed, euthanized, and maimed and whatever because of what this asshole did. So sometimes when you see shit like that, you're like, okay, this is all news to me. You're telling me you've been an ex-addict. I probably knew about that, but I didn't know you smoked crack.

27:45Sure, sure. You probably talked about this shit because you said it so freely right now. without any shame. We talk about it every five minutes. Yeah. How old were you when you started smoking crack? And what was that about? How long was the addiction to that? Well, crack, thank God, was something I did semi-controlled. My preference was to snort it. Snort crack? No, no, snort coke. Okay. I was like, hold on, motherfucker. You're going to snort crack? You just didn't want to go to coke? And I would often run out of that. I can't get that at three in the morning. So I go to ghost town in Venice and buy crack and I'll smoke crack.

28:19You weren't doing that while you were in Detroit. No, no. Then I go back to Detroit for the summers and hang with all my boys and we go downtown. But you weren't a kid doing it. I wasn't a child. I probably smoked it for the first time when I was 21. All right. Wow. This is also while he's at UCLA. No. Yeah. Yeah. Two things are happening that make no sense. Yeah. Yeah. I'm at UCLA and in the groundlings. I'm a comedian. Okay. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

29:00Have you ever done SNL? I haven't, no. Neither have I. It's heartbreaking, right? It is, man. And now I'm getting so old, now it's starting to sound like too much work for me. It is. You look at the successes that we've had, you know, in our careers And then you look at some of the talent that they have come there and host. And you're like, did I upset somebody? Right, right, right, right. I've never questioned my ability because I know what I can do. They called for my availability one time. It's not to say that they were offering it. No, I got the same thing. And that's great. Yeah, they call for my availability, but then they never call back once we sent them the dates.

29:34I was like, what the fuck? I was available. I was in the middle of Black-ish. I mean, we're shooting my show. We get 24 episodes a year. We get the call. We going to tell ABC, yo, we shutting down for whatever. I'm about to go do SNL. These motherfuckers never called back, man. I'm going to say this from the bottom of my heart. You would be great. Oh my God, you do. You would be such a great host. I'm very surprised. That's what I've always said. Yeah, you really would be a great, great host. While I was doing my first stint on Law & Order, so from 2008 to 2010, they came to Jeremy's sister and I and wanted us to shoot a bit with Zach Galifianakis because he was hosting.

30:10So we went and did a law and order bit type thing. Oh, that's fun. And it aired? Yeah, it aired. I was cool with that, but I was like, yo, you can call me to come be funny and do this shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I get what that was. You got to take it as a win. You're back on the bus stop, 530 in the morning. You're like, oh boy, they're in a fight. They're about to start shooting. Where's the 360 down Long Beach Boulevard? And then I show up. Come on, express bus. And then the white angel shows up and he says, guess what? At some point, SNL's going to call and ask for your availability. You're going to go, oh my God.

30:39Okay, I won't run. That's a win. I won't run from these bullets. I just hope they don't hit me. Okay, so single mom or you had a stepdad? I've never called him a stepdad. He's been my dad since I was an infant. So that's my daddy. Great. And you had a good one. I did. He's from Little Rock. And he came to work in a steel mill? Yeah. Little Rock, Arkansas. Youngest of 16. 16! Same mom, same dad. Grew up on a farm. An Irish twin. My uncle Adel is 11 months older than my dad. My uncle Adel came out to California being an Irish twin. He was tied to the hip. He came out to be where his older brother was.

31:19Yeah, that's right. And so that's what brought my dad out to California. Ended up working in the steel mill, Sule Steel. Where's that? In Watts. That's not still functional. No, it's not still functioning. All the steel went over to Japan years ago. It was crazy. My dad, his company sent him to Japan. And my dad was like 6 '4", 300 plus pounds. but he was 300 solid. So just imagine a big black dude with a jerry curl. Were people taking his pictures? Oh my God, my dad has pictures of him and all these Japanese women just surrounded him and he's holding up his hand and his lady's hand is like down here just to see the size.

31:53And her basement's flooded. And I know my daddy was over there fucking his ass off. And so he was there for a few weeks, man. I bet. I'm surprised he came back. He had to come back to my mama. Well, how did he end up, He owned clothing stores at some point. Again, my father did everything my uncle did. And my uncle started a clothing store in Watts and built it up to a few throughout Los Angeles. I'll never forget, growing up as a kid, my uncle was doing well. And he would walk around with a briefcase and have$15 ,000 in it. So 50 years ago, 40 years ago, a poor black dude would be doing that successful in business.

32:33And this was just the receipts from his stores from that week. And he would come over to my dad's house and they would talk. And, you know, just being him like, ha, ha, ha. And they go, ha, ha. They would sit up there. My dad would count the money with him and wanted to do what his older brother did. So my father went downtown L.A. to the Garment District, bought a box of Braxton jeans. I'll never forget. 36 pair of jeans and a box. He went to a swap meet on that Saturday. sold out, went back the next day or later on that day, took the profits from his one box and bought two boxes, sold out the next day.

33:09So the next week he took that profit and bought more stuff. And so that's how my father started at swap meets and then on corners. And then he had this one particular corner in Watts in LA that he would go to and set up shop, you know, canopies and tents. It was like an open storefront. Did he make you work with him ever? Yeah, and I didn't have a problem doing it. Good chance to work on your people skills. Yeah, popping my shit. My dad popping his shit. Making money. Getting paid as a teenager. Then from there, my father started opening stores. And when he opened the stores, it was for plus-size women because my mom was a plus-size.

33:44So he was just catering to the women he loved. So it was plus-size women in children's clothing. And that's what he did, man. And what did Doris do? I know she wanted to be an actor. She wanted to be an actor. My mother was a telephone operator for the county of Los Angeles. Yeah, I read that and I was like, this feels so 80s to be a telephone operator. Yeah, yeah. And she worked at a hospital, Harbor General UCLA Medical Center in Torrance, California. And you had a little brother. Two little brothers and a sister. My sister's the baby. I'm the oldest. I lost my youngest brother about 20 years ago now in a car accident while he was at West Texas A &M College playing football.

34:17Oh, yeah, because they're probably huge like your dad. Yeah. So we lost him and then a year later lost my dad. So it's three children now, me, my brother Derek and my sister Doris. When my dad died, I thought it was going well. Okay. But in reflection, it really fucked me up more than I really kind of realized at the time. And I have a few friends whose dads also died too young. I don't know. It can bring out some wild stuff. I processed it as best as I could or as best as I knew how. And I don't think I've really processed it as an adult. Yeah. What year? This was almost 20 years ago. So I was in my 30s.

34:56I was successful. Well, good. He saw that. Yeah, I've been successful a while. So he got a chance to see all of that stuff. But you know what? When I go to my therapist, I'm going to talk to my therapist about this. You're giving me something to talk to him about because I don't really think I fully processed the death of my father. Me either. It's still evolving. Mine was 2012. So 13 years ago. My most consistent dream is dreams about him. When he died, it was a bit of a relief because I was caring for him and supporting him and it was complicated. And so at first it was just like, okay, there's a lot off my plate now.

35:25And then, oh, I miss him. And then it just continues to unfold this whole thing. And now I have a completely different view of him than I did when he died. I recognize all these incredible things he was in spite of some things I was disappointed in. Yeah. Just all these things. And yeah, now I'm like, God, yeah, I'd really like to go back now and hang with him when he was virile and not dying. Yeah, my dad, it's sad how it happened because I'm a type 2 diabetic. I was the first person diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in my family. I started getting healthy and I started partnering with Eli Lilly and now Novo Nordisk, bringing awareness about diabetes to the inner city, in particular, black men.

36:07They over-index, right? Yeah, very much so. Because I lost my father to complications of diabetes. and what was fucked up. He had diabetes for probably 20, 25 years undiagnosed. Without knowing. Oof. That's rough, right? You're peeing all the time. You're fatigued. Dad's just tired. You know, just a teenager growing up and all this other shit. He's like, why does dad have a bucket next to the bed? Because he would fucking just roll over and piss in the bucket next to his bed. Yeah, because he's peeing nonstop. Once I was diagnosed as a diabetic, I was like, oh shit, this is what my father had.

36:38As I was growing up, I'm looking at the symptoms I have and I'm looking at the symptoms he had. it had gotten to a point where I don't know what it's called, but we say it's elephantitis, where his lower extremities were all fucking one size from the knee down to the ankle and to the foot. And it was swole and was hard as this table. And then he developed leaking ulcers on the back of both of his calves and it became painful for him to walk. So I had to get him a cane and a roller walker. At this point, my father's in his sixties and he just let himself go. So now he's really just a big man. By the time he was diagnosed, diabetes had wreaked havoc on his body.

37:18And I took him to the best endocrinologist that I could find. We tried to nurse him back to health. And he was in the hospital for a couple of months, had a pulmonary embolism while he was in the hospital, but they were able to catch it and save him, then released him to a rehab center. And then they let him go home. So we had a nurse that would come to him daily. And then one day I went to visit my dad and my brother, his nickname was Tuga. That's my brother that passed. And I was talking to my dad. He was laying in his bed and I was in his bedroom, just leaning up against his dresser, speaking to him.

37:49And I was like, Hey, what's going on, pops? How you doing? He's like, am I right? He said, I saw Tuga last night. I was like, really? He said, yeah, he just sat on the edge of the bed right there. I said, and what'd you guys do? He said, we just talked. I was like, whoa, really? At that point, are you like, oh, dad's kind of hallucinating? No, not hallucinating. It was like, dad is about to go. Yeah, right, right, right. I believe in ghosts and all that. So when he was telling me my brother came to visit him, I was like, oh, OK, it's time. And not long after that, man, he died on Valentine's Day.

38:19I was going to work. I was filming The Shield. And I got a call in the middle of the night from his nurse and said, we lost your dad. Oh, man. And. Yeah, that's why I'm so adamant about going around the world and just talking about diabetes and giving my testimonial and just talking to men. I know I got it from being a glutton and from not eating the right shit and for doing all this other shit that I did throughout my life that contributed to it. I'll say that much. I contributed to it. Were you adjusting or regulating the inside with that? Like I'm using drugs and booze? Oh, no. It wasn't like a coping mechanism for anything?

38:59No, no. I just like good shit, man. I just like weddings. It just tastes good. Probably why I got motherfucking gout in my big toe on my right foot occasionally. Oh, that's rough, isn't it? Yeah, oh, man. That's when my dad at the end, he had gout in addition to everything. You know what's crazy? I was living in New Orleans for a while, shooting a show there. That place will give you gout. Yeah, I was like, I'm going to be healthy. Not the place. I was eating nothing but seafood and shellfish. I was like, oh, I'm just eating seafood and shellfish. But all the purine in the shellfish contributed to my buildup of uric acid.

39:29Oh, yeah. And I'll never forget. I was in the scene and I went to kick a door in and I hit it. And I said, I think I broke my toe. And I finished the scene. Then we moved locations. We were filming in a hotel in the middle of the night and I was laying across the bed and they said action. And I jumped up to run and chase the perp. And I put pressure on my right foot and I collapsed. And I was like, oh, yeah, I broke my toe. I went to the doctor the next day, limping in. They were like, what's wrong, Mr. Anderson? I was like, I kicked the door and I think I broke my toe. I'm looking at it like, I don't think you broke your toe.

39:59I said, yeah, no, I think I broke my toe. They're like, you might have the gout. I was like, no, I ain't got the gout. That's not for me. I was like, Dr. Kotler, let's go on x-ray. They humored me. They was like, okay, Mr. Anderson. Took me to x-ray, they should. Came back 30 minutes later and said, okay, we got good news and bad news. Which one do you want first? I was like, the good news. All right, you didn't break your toe. I was like, what's the bad news? You got the gout. I was like, you motherfucker. If you look at it, it looks red hot. And so if you put your hand above it, you can feel the heat.

40:29coming off of it. Now I think about it, I was like, well, it is uric acid. You associate acid with being hot. That's just my little ghetto way of thinking about things. But if you hover your hand above wherever you may have the gout, it's radiating heat up off of it and it's bright red and it hurts like hell. Okay. What I have gleaned from the many interviews I've watched of you now is, and I'm guessing having to leave Howard, was that heartbreaking? It was, it was disappointing. So you go to Howard after this magnet school you're at, and you're there for how many years? Three. I ran out of money after my junior year.

41:05And you're doing theater there. And are you loving D.C.? Loving D.C. as Chocolate City. It was at the beginning of gentrification. And at 17, 18 years old, I didn't really understand or know what gentrification was, even though I was at the beginning of it in Washington, D.C. The Washington Wizards, their basketball team, used to be called the Washington Bullets. but because it was the murder capital of the world at one particular time in the 80s. And they had been the Washington Bullets forever. Yeah, had nothing to do with it. So they were like, maybe we need to change the name of the king. Let's rebrand optics.

41:38Washington murderers. Yeah, you're right. So they changed the name from the Washington Bullets to the Washington Wizards. Just a little something for you. Yeah, a little extra. So you run out of money and you come back to LA. Yeah. How long before getting back to starting to get employed? Because I feel like you and I have a kind of a similar, I didn't start getting hired as an actor until like 28. 25 for me. Oh, right. You do five years on a Saturday morning teen show. I got that when I was 25 years old. So I left Howard at 20. Those five years is long, right? Yeah, I came home, especially with nothing.

42:12My parents ended up getting separated a few years after I came home. I moved in with my mom, went to a couple of community colleges just because I wanted to keep my mind active. I was like, I'm going back to Howard. I just want to sit here and fuck off. So let me go to some JC's. I went to El Camino Community College and I went to Compton College for a semester each. And I was like, yeah, I just want to keep my mind active and I want to pick up some classes that's going to transfer. So to make my load a little easier when I go back for my senior year, that should never happen. Well, until 2020, when'd you go back?

42:442022 is when I went back. And you graduated. Yeah. My son got accepted to Howard University in 2018. When I went to college, I would have been the first person to graduate in my family from college. So that's why I was like, no, I got to go back and fucking finish. Then I started having kids. And then my younger cousins, 10, 15 years younger than me, they started going to college and graduating. I was like, fuck, I wanted to be the first. So my daughter went to the University of San Diego, graduated magna cum laude. I was like, oh, fuck, now she's slapping me in the face with this shit. Then my son gets accepted to Howard.

43:15His mother and I met at Howard. In 1989. Yeah. So you're a double legacy kid. You got to go to Howard. And I was like, you know what, son? You're inspiring me to go back to school. I'm going to walk with you in 2022. That gives me four years to make up 15 credits. So I was like, I can do that shit. And so he goes, real life gets in his way. He's a young artist, actor, musician, rapper, and he wants to pursue his dream. And my son would always tell me, he was like, you dropped out of college and look at you. I was like, first off, motherfucker, I didn't drop out of college. There's a difference.

43:48I had financial hardships. I didn't just wake up one morning like you did. He'd be like, fuck it, I'm dropping out. My dad got me. No, motherfucker, your daddy ain't got you. The consequences that comes with these choices that you were about to make. And I'm telling you right now, you about to fuck it up. Yeah. But he left after his freshman year. But I kept my promise to him. I kept my promise to myself. And I walked in 2022. That's so cool. I love that. Taraji Henson was our commencement speaker the year I received my degree. Oh, my gosh. So Raji and I were classmates in the College of Fine Arts back when I was in school.

44:24Denise Saunders, who is the associate dean of the College of Fine Arts, was instrumental in helping me get back into school. She and I were classmates when I was at Howard University. Felicia Rashad is now the dean of the College of Fine Arts. And this is her last year as dean of the College of Fine Arts. She and I are friends and have done things together. I received my degree from her. And the College of Fine Arts is no longer called the College of Fine Arts. That year, for the first time, it's now called the Chadwick A. Bozeman College of Fine Arts. And Chadwick and I are contemporaries and friends in this industry.

45:03All of that happened the year that I went back to get my degree. And it was just a full circle moment. And I took my best friend, who's my kid's godfather, skinny boy, who I went to high school with. We ended up at Howard together at the same time as freshmen. So it was a full circle moment. I went back to get my degree with the guy I started college with, with all of these people that I started college with. That airplane ride home, I'd be like, well, if it goes down, like this is about as great as it gets. Story-wise. This really worked out. So many wonderful things you were in. I really am jealous of a lot.

45:39Why? What are you jealous of? Well, departed. The fact that in your lifetime, you worked for a Scorsese. You can just leave it right there. You don't have to read anymore. It might be the greatest cast of all time. I would say that. Directed by the greatest director of all time. We've both hosted Kimmel and you've done it a lot. How many times have you done it? I think I have the record for most appearances on Jimmy Kimmel. If I haven't passed Adam Carolla yet, I am a close second to him. God, I feel like I got to be up there too. Do you know how many you've been? No, there's a lot. Like every summer when Jimmy takes off, I host for a week.

46:11But what's crazy, he used to have co-hosts on his show with him back in the day. That's right. So you would come on and co-host with him. I was the last co-host that he had. Mike Tyson was before me. Uh-huh. And then I came on and then I would come sit in for him. And then whenever he needed a bit or something, he always would call me and I'd call my mom. So it would be me and my mom on there. Yeah. Your mom at the award show, that bit was so great. Yes, that was so fantastic. Of all these hosting duties, which is your favorite? I mean, the game show rack, it's nice because you're just cranking out episodes.

46:47Those are cool. And I get to do it with my mom. So that's cool. But I would probably say Kimmel because I've always wanted my own talk show. I was going to ask that. So I enjoy it from top to bottom. It's like me directing when I was directing on Black-ish. It was like, okay, I don't know how to direct, but my crew is not going to let me fail my very first episode. Right. So, you know, this is a safe place for me to do it. It's a great place. So Kimmel is home for me. He's a great talk show host, but he's a fucking great friend. Oh, my God. He's a great guy. Yeah, he'll almost shame you. He's right there.

47:18We gave him a Best Boy Award. We gave him a Best Boy Award. He's the best boy on planet Earth. Best thing I would say is Kimmel. And right after that, hosting the Emmys. You loved it. Yeah. Do you know that Ant refers to himself as the Lucci? What's her name? Susan Lucci. I'm the black Susan Lucci. Yeah, because he's been nominated 11 times. Monica and I were talking about the other day, and I was like, I don't know, man. And if they had fucking nominated me, mind you, I've never been nominated, but if they nominated me five times, I might go like, I'm not fucking coming anymore. Like when I used to be nominated for an NAACP Image Award, every year I go and I think, oh, shit, this is the year.

47:51And I was like, ah. And then one year I was like, oh, this is it. Oh, no, I showed my ass in this. This was it. And I get there. I didn't look at who the other nominees were. So I was just like, oh, who's nominated? I get there and I look at my category and I was like, Denzel Washington. Oopsie. I had this suit made for nothing. And the winner is for best lead actor in the movie, Denzel Whitehall. One last question, and then I want to talk about G20. How do you know Jordan? And what's that hang like? Wait, what Jordan? Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan. The Jordan. Okay, got it. Oh, he does live next door to Michael B.

48:30Jordan. He said there's three black people in his neighborhood. Him, Michael B. Jordan, and Machine Gun Kelly. You've done your research I tried to You've done your fucking research, man That was funny We kind of love him We had him on He was one of my favorite guests ever Yeah, he's a special dude He's like a very sensitive, sweet dude He's nothing like you think he would be Yeah, yeah Like he called me up one day Thanksgiving He was like, yo, Ant You got any aluminum foil? I was like, I do And you're grown You should have it too I was like, I'm in Qatar right now But yo, I can give you the code to my back door.

49:09Yeah. Cool. So I was like, yo, I'll give you the code to my back door, man. It's in the drawer right next to you. He said, nah, that's all right, man. I'll task rabbit it. I owe him a sweet potato pie, by the way. He always calls me about the sweet potato pie because he knows I bake. He's a sweet boy. You need to take him under your arm. I've gone to his birthday parties and all that. We're good. Oh, that's good. But Jordan, we watched Last Dance, as everyone did, and just so fascinated. The brand Jordan would ask me to come do their corporate things for their athletes that wear brand Jordan. Like he would do a corporate retreat with just his elite athletes who wear his stuff.

49:41Oh, so fun. And I would be there as the host. As a world record holder. Yeah, as a world record holder. Two times, two times, two times. I would just be there as a host and having fun. And all we would do was play golf and he would have competitions. He would set us up in different groups. There could be eight or nine groups with 10 athletes per group. and it was like, yo, I want you guys to create a new shoe and tell us what you think it is. And whatever group wins, we'll get a pair of Jordans from Jordan 1 all the way up to whatever year we're at that time. Every single pair. Every single pair and whatever color scheme that you want.

50:16Oh my God. See, I wore these just for you. Yeah, there you go. I got those too. So my team fucking lost. But the fact that that time it was like 30 pair of J's that you could get in your colorway. That's 15 ,000 bucks or 30 ,000 bucks worth of shoes. Yeah. So we've become cool. But what really made us cool, they opened the Cove Hotel in the Bahamas at Atlantis. Yeah. So this was 20 years ago, 17 years ago, something like that. So they had a big grand opening and MJ is sitting there. We're in a restaurant. Stevie Wonder's birthday. All kinds of celebrities are there because it's a huge opening.

50:51We're in Bobby Flay's restaurant. And so I walk over to MJ. I was like, oh shit, there's MJ. And I've never met him before. I was like, I got to talk to him. So I'm talking to my ex-wife. I'm like, hey, babe, I'm going to go talk to MJ. So I'll go see MJ. And I say, hey, MJ, hey, man, I just want to say it's a pleasure to meet you. And I was like, I hear you're a domino player. And I brought your dominoes with me. I have this red player of aluminum jump man dominoes that I got at NBA All-Star in Vegas from a brand Jordan party. And he looked at me. He said, did I give you those motherfuckers? I said, no, you didn't.

51:24And he was like, how did you get them? I said, well, I consider myself to be the MJ of bones, but that's beside the point. I'd like to play with you. And he turns to my ex-wife and says, okay, look here, ma 'am, I suggest you go to the bank and take out as much money as you can. Because once I whip his ass, he won't have enough money to take care of you and your children. You're smart. You ensnared him in competition. Yeah, and she's like, I'm not going to let him play you for money, but this is what he'd do. And he was like, meet me at the cabana tomorrow at noon. Oh, damn. I was like, all right.

52:05This is crazy. So I'm swimming in the ocean with Patrick Ewing. Sure. This is wild. My ex-wife comes running up to me. Baby, baby. I was like, what? She said, MJ's at the cabana. And I was like, yo, Pat, I got to go. So I get out, dry off. I run upstairs. I grab the dominoes. And before I leave, I see a camera sitting on the table. And I said, babe, grab the camera. Gotta take a picture. So she grabbed the camera. This is my first time meeting MJ and I'm hanging with him. So we get to the cabana. It's Ahmad Rashad, MJ. And then MJ brought somebody to play dominoes with us, right? A ringer? Yes.

52:42And so we're there. Ahmad's not playing. Ahmad's just sitting there with his legs crossed, just looking as we're talking shit and having fun. And I'm just timid. I'm not talking shit. I'm just enamored with MJ. and he's beating me. I rarely lose in dominoes and he's beating me, but I don't give a fuck that he's beating me. I'm like, he's on the back of my dominoes like this and I'm playing next to this man. You want to look at the list of people who have lost to Michael Jordan? It's a good list. What a moment. Even better, a list of people who've beaten Michael Jordan. So I'm playing with him and he's talking shit.

53:13And my wife looks at me and says, yo, you just going to let him keep talking shit to you like that? And I was like, shit, I'm going to go. But he says something that gets me razzled, razzled. I was like, fuck this. I'm going to stop playing timid. I get domino. We're playing to 150. Jordan has 125. His buddy has 75. I have 45. And I get the domino. And I look at him and I was like, yo, MJ. I said, this is going to be the hardest 25 points you ever had to score in your life. Just know that. This is so scary. Now I'm out of my shell. Now I'm like, yo, fuck this. I ain't gonna have this motherfucker whoop my ass.

53:55I played Domino. Now I'm talking shit. I'm talking cash shit to this motherfucker. And he's giving it back. You send your wife to get money out of the bag. Amad is laughing. I'm like, yo, baby, go get the money. Go get the money. I'm feeling it. Money's on. Amad is laughing. Fucking MJ is talking shit. And then we're sitting there. And boom, I say some shit. And I win. Right? he's like run it back I was like okay motherfucker let's go so now we're running it back now I'm talking shit from the beginning now I'm in my element and I'm boom boom boom talking shit about him his mama his daddy his kids all this shit and then I'm whipping his ass and I'm whipping this motherfucker's ass and then I was like yo I wish me and my wife could make babies right now because we would go upstairs and make a baby right now we would name him or her MJ just so when he or she got older, she could say, Daddy, why did you name me MJ?

54:55And I could relive this moment right now. Bam! Damn it, old motherfucker! Won the game. His security comes out of the cabana. There's a DJ on the pool. The DJ scratches the record, stops the music. The fucking hotel security comes out. The people that are swimming in it because it's the opening, it's the grand opening of this huge fucking hotel in the Bahamas. Everybody stops and turns towards us. Don't worry. I just whipped Michael Jordan's ass in dominoes. He all right, though. We good. You good, MJ? He still got the shoes. You good? Oh, wow. And I try to have my lady take pictures of it. The motherfucker refuses to take pictures with me.

55:37Now, I have to find these pictures because I have pictures of this motherfucker just looking. Just like this. And me sitting there smiling. But he refused to take pictures with me. And then we're on this island for the next three days for the celebration of the opening of this hotel. So there are dinners. There's parties. There's everything that we're going to. There's golf. We're taking group pictures. Every group picture we take, he kicks me out of. He's so mad at you. If there's any human that he's losing. I happily would leave the picture just so I could share the story as to why MJ is asking me to get out of the photo.

56:20Yeah, it's wonderful. It's the dream. I called radio stations. I talked about this on the news. I talked about it on talk shows. I was surprised you weren't in Last Dance telling this story. I talked about all this other shit because nobody can really, only a few people. Hold on, is it Lionel? Nope, it's not Lionel. Only a few people can say they beat Jordan one-on-one or something. Whatever the fuck it is, I can say that. And we laugh about it to this day. And he came around to you. You aimed for the fence. Oh, yeah. You're like, I'm going to show you my whole self, and you're going to like it or not.

56:58MJ, I love you, man. And I know people who listen are going to tell you this story. I didn't bring this shit up. They brought it up. That's true. But I'm going to talk about it every chance I get. Okay, G20 Yes G20 comes out April 10th Streaming on Prime Video Viola Davis Academy Award winner Fuck all that She's an EGOT Is she an EGOT? She is an EGOT She deserves to be A lot of people say she has an EGOT I was like, no, she doesn't have an EGOT She is an EGOT There's a difference Had you known her before this movie? I had known her before We lived near each other Hold on, is that Lionel? That's not Lionel we've always had an admiration from one another and abc together you know the show my show so i just always had love for her and she always had love for me and i get a call hey viola wants you as her husband not come read this come do this i had a meeting with the director and the director was like i've never cast a movie like this before i've never had someone tell me that this is who they want is my husband yeah i was like wow yeah that's awesome and so that's how it all began so So she's the U.S.

58:03president. You're the first man. You guys go down to South Africa for the G20 summit and you bring your kids. Yes. And then it's Die Hard. Yeah. So there's some bad guys. Tony Starr, who I fucking love from The Boys. Do you watch The Boys? We have a table read because we shoot this entirely in Cape Town for six months. And I was like, who the fuck is this dude with this Australian accent or this New Zealand accent? I was like, I kind of like him. He's cool. And we shoot the movie. He kicks my ass. I kick his ass. I'm home nine months later I'm doing some ADR and our director Patricia it was like yeah Anthony the movie's looking great we got this great buzz from Tony and his show I was like what show's Tony on?

58:43First off when we were doing scenes together she would say Anthony and we would all turn to her and be like huh? Right right And she said oh let me do this I'll call you by your name Anthony Star So every time she would say Anthony Star I would say huh? Because You're a star I'm a star That's right And I have no idea who the other Southern motherfucker is Yeah So I was like, she's talking to me. And she didn't notice his name. I was like, oh, my bad. So that still became my running joke. So she was like, yeah, Anthony Starr, you know, he has a show with the boys. I was like, who the fuck is he on the boys?

59:08I watch the boys all the time. I was just watching it before I came here. Yeah. She's Superman. I was like, get the fuck out of here. Because he just looks so different? We were doing press all day yesterday. I told him, I would say, hey, Tony, I had no idea you were who the fuck you were. Homelander. Yeah, he's Homelander. Homelander, that's it. I said, I had no idea who the fuck you were when we were working together. Even though you're a fan of The Boys. Yes. That is so funny. And he was like, what? I was like, dog, when I watch you on The Boys, you're seven feet tall to me, motherfucker. Yeah.

59:38You're a fucking superhero. I was like, the way you are on that motherfucking show, it's not you. Right. That's not who I work with. Smoking mirrors, right. And he was like, yeah, man. Yeah, out of context. And it's a testament to who he is as an actor. What he does on The Boys, the fact that that dude doesn't want an Emmy. I mean, what he's doing on The Boys is the bad guy and you feel bad for him sometimes. Yes, you do. It's like when I saw Fela on Broadway and I went backstage to meet the cast and I was looking for the dude that played Fela and I forget his name. But I'm talking to him. And as I'm talking to him, I keep looking behind him and looking around, trying to find a dude before he leaves and shit.

1:00:16And then I realized it's him. And then when I left, I was like, oh, my God. Yeah. Because he was a small, demure dude. But as Fela on stage, this motherfucker was larger than the fucking theater that they were in on Broadway. But when I went to meet him, he's just a regular dude. And I was like, this motherfucker's phenomenal. Yeah, he's a magician. That's why I feel about Anthony Starks as motherfucking Homelander on The Boys. So, yeah, it looks fucking awesome, by the way. It is, man. The trailer is outrageously good. Viola and I are ex-military, and it's a big action film. You know, terrorists take over the G20 Global Summit that we're at.

1:00:49We end up kicking ass and getting our ass kicked throughout the film. Yeah, she's doing a ton of ass kicking. Wait till you see it. You're going to be like, God damn. She's an action star. She is. It was amazing to be a part of and amazing to watch. Well, Anthony, I adore you. I have so much fun when I get to be around you. Yeah, this was great. We didn't get Lionel, but that's all right. I know. TBD. You'll let us know if he calls you back. I'm going to call him again. See if he's going to pick up again. He's really going to be worried. Let me see. Did he send a text? Nope, he didn't send a text.

1:01:15Did you see how many he had to scroll through in the last two hours? I'm going to call again. Hold on. Let's see if Lionel Richie's going to pick up. He never picks up the phone, though. He's earned the right not to pick up the phone. I've only spoken to him on the phone maybe twice in all the years that I've met him. You had the third time to be online. But I know where he lives. I know where he works. Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. The person you're trying to reach is not available. This motherfucker saw this call and sent me the voicemail. It only rang three times. Oh. It only rang three times.

1:01:44He might be in the middle of... Hey, man, you better be shooting the voice right now, Lionel Richie. I'm still doing this podcast two and a half hours later I don't know how the hell Dax Shepard got me fucking do this podcast for two and a half hours only supposed to be for 40 minutes but we're still trying to reach you and we're not gonna end this interview until we talk to you Lionel please call me back you're not letting me out of the room until you call back I love you Lionel well we've done all we can we've done all that can be done we really have you know we're gonna do a fact check for this episode next week or in a couple weeks So by then, he'll probably have called you back and you can relay what happens.

1:02:22Yeah, see what happens. We'll see. I did that with Oprah on Jimmy's show once. And she picked up? She didn't pick up. No! We can't. I don't want to be wasted my calls. Yeah, exactly. There are only a certain amount of calls people like that pick up from you. That's right. Even selfishly for me, I don't want that bridge to be burned on my behalf. Anthony, adore you. Thanks for coming. Thank you. Nice meeting you, Monica. Yeah, very nice to meet you. This was so fun. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

1:03:23He is an armchair expert There's some cheesy sayings. Is that a new outfit? I really like it. I was wearing it. Well, now you're so good. Wow, this is really good. Now I'm convinced you didn't see me yesterday. I saw you. I see you. There are some corny sayings on sets. Yeah. Some of them I like them. Which one's your favorite? So if you're like filming, you're filming four scenes that day and you're going to be in Crosby's bedroom. And then the next scene is going to be in the living room. Uh-huh. You like do the scene, they yell cut. You don't really know what they're saying at the monitor. Are we going to go again?

1:03:58Yep. Do we get it right? And then occasionally 80s will go, okay, we're on the wrong set. That means we did it. It's time to leave the bedroom. And go to the next set. And I like that one. My favorite. Yeah. My favorite set term is martini shot. Oh, sure. That's the last shot of the day. And do you know the origin of that one? They'd probably get martinis. I think specifically Hitchcock would always have a martini. During the last shot of the day. During the last setup, yeah. Yeah, so if you're like checking it, if you have friends who are on set and you're like, how much longer do you have? We're on the martini.

1:04:35We're on the martini. It's like what you want to hear. I have a bit of anxiety about this fact check. I know. There's so much to get through. We have a lot to get through, but we can't do it all today. Okay. You just have to take, you just have to have peace. Okay, I hope people are patient with me if there's multiple Hawaii updates. Over time. Over that they're being leaked out. Yeah. Yeah, because— You had a trip. We both had trips. I have a big—people think I went to New York. I'm trying—yeah, that didn't get through, right? No. Yes. Okay, right. You did not go to New York. Yes, I had a trip planned for New York and— Then White Lotus.

1:05:13Yeah, because we had a whole conversation about Buddhism. And I said, oh, no, what am I going to do? I'm about to go to New York. That's not a place for me to be very Buddhist. And you said, you should be Buddhist when you get back. And I first delayed my trip a day. Yeah. And I was like, I'll just need to get my work done and then I'll feel good. I'll feel ready to go. Yes. And then I still didn't and I canceled my trip. And you know what's interesting is when you announced that to me, at first I was like, I didn't like it for you. Yeah. Because I was worried your anxiety got the best of you.

1:05:50Like you had some anxiety and I wanted you to have that fun trip. And I know you love New York. Yes, the most. But now on the other side of it, I think you listened to yourself. I did. And it was the right thing to do. It was the right thing to do. And you still had your spectacular trip with Callie. I had a little girl's trip with Callie, a couple-day trip that was, that yes, we will talk about over the next 10 weeks. Um, over, over cue, ending cue too. Yeah. That was so, so delightful and fun. And that was already on the books. I was going to do both. And it just felt, it didn't feel, I just knew.

1:06:22I was like, it's not right. I'm not supposed to go run around the city for the next four days. And I just need to like be for a little bit. Are you so selfish that you would have preferred that the flight crashed on the way to New York? Just so you could say, oh my God, I knew. How dare you? I knew not to take that flight. No. I bet there's someone that's bad enough. That's really. It's as bad as it gets. That's as bad of a person. If you have that thought, I'm not judging. Right. Because Buddhists don't do that. Right. But you need to get some help. You need to get yourself into therapy. Right.

1:06:55Quick. Well, you would definitely if you canceled the flight and then you saw on the news it crashed. You would have an enormous burst of gratitude. Relief. Yes. Yes. But not like, oh, I knew it. The dark. Oh, I might. Okay. Uh-oh. I wonder. I wonder if there would be a part of me that's like, oh, my God, I have powers. Yes, you would. Everyone would. Well, you wouldn't. I don't know that you'd say you have powers, but you'd say, well, now I have to really take seriously that the universe sends me signals. Yeah. And I need to listen. Remember, there's a famous actress that I thought of at random.

1:07:32And we just got resolution on that last week. I know. It was diabetes related. It was Michelle Trachtenberg. Yeah. Very sad. Very, very sad. And yeah, it seems like it was a diabetes complication, which I hate to do this. This seems really flippant, but that's a ding, ding, ding. Oh, no. I know, because this is for Anthony Anderson. Oh, and he's diabetic. And we talk a lot about it and how complications are really serious. Yeah, he's diabetic. I just sent Aaron ding, ding, ding. I just sent Aaron. And there is a remix. A DJ made a mix of the Diabetes commercials. Wow. And it's pretty good. And maybe I'll play it later at some point in this.

1:08:15Speaking of something else bad, I'm sure you heard about Eric Dane. That he has. ALS. Yeah, I've seen him. It's heartbreaking. That's so sad. That's in the news now? Yeah. I figured you might have known from meetings. But like. No, it really breaks my heart. because when he was here, obviously, his... He told him. Well, he didn't know what it was yet, right? His arm was kind of atrophying and he thought he had a virus and he seemed specialist. And yeah, it's a real fucking bummer. It really breaks my heart. I hate it. I know, I know. Yeah. Did you say anything about the Pope yesterday? The Pope died?

1:08:54I thought it was today. Oh God, you know... No, I meant jinxing his death. Huh? I meant, did you jinx his death? Oh, oh, oh, no. Well, kind of. We had David Sedaris on and we were talking about the Pope. Although he was already quite ill at that time. He had already been hanging on by a bit of a thread. Oh, no. So he died on Easter? Today he died. He made it through the rising. I guess if I were a Pope and I had my way and they said, you're going to die this month. Yeah. I'd like to go on Friday, on Good Friday. On Good Friday when Jesus died. When Jesus, yeah, passed. You say passed. Excuse me.

1:09:35I passed. Be respectful. Yeah, so then you're - That's a lot of doom and gloom though. Sorry, but this is life. Life is happy and sad all at once. You're right. You're right. You're right. All right. Okay. Okay, we can move on to something happy. So I did take my trip. Yes, you did. I took Lincoln Delta and I Hawaii eight days. Yeah. You did a solo trip with your girls. The headline is incredible trip. Great. I'll remember it. I'll be on my deathbed and I'll go. I did that. I'm proud of you. Okay. So that's interesting. So you're going to say. And you wouldn't like that. But I'll tell you why it's okay to like it.

1:10:14Yeah. Or why I think it's okay to like it. Because I was talking with a friend from AA. And there are things in life that give me esteem, self-esteem. And there are things that take away self-esteem. Yes. And so, and they're, you know, they're pretty correlated with challenge. Sure. Right? Sure. But it was just an incredible trip. It definitely had its challenges. I might have been a little naive. Okay. Okay. And then I was wrestling with that. What were you expecting? Okay, because this is an expectations lesson as well. I guess I was misled because when Kristen has gone away to film, which has happened throughout the child, their childhood, It always goes really well.

1:10:55I do very well with the two of them by myself. And I was underestimating, like, we have our routine. They go to places. They're in their house. They can separate. Yeah. And so I was a little naive. And I've taken trips with them solo. Yes, individually. And those are truly kind of effortless and fun. Yeah. It's just like being with a buddy. But this was, you know, there were days where one of them was mad at the other for the whole day, the first few days. And I started getting a little nervous. Yeah. And then I was, and this is kind of funny. This is one of the many stories. So my mother would have, I know what she would have done because she did it many times.

1:11:33We'd be on a vacation. We'd be acting like assholes. Also, it gave me so much fucking respect for my mother's whole. Single parenthood. Single parent, three kids. Oh, my God. God bless Laura LeBeau. I sent her a message going, you know what? I need to just tell you, you're a warrior and I admire you. Yeah. But her move was, guys, we're going home tomorrow morning. Oh. There were a lot of those speeches. There were threats. Yes. And by the way, they weren't threats. They weren't empty threats. My mom, I almost said my wife. Very Freudian split. My mom, we had some rules in the house. There was no begging, period.

1:12:13You already know this, Bobby. She did not play begging. And we left many places where we had put a lot of effort into it. and we had driven there and we didn't get our shit together. She said, this happens again. We're going home. And we did. She never made empty threats. Wow. So I'm remembering, like, first of all, I'm feeling that. I'm like, I'm going to tell them. We're going home. We're going home. Uh-huh. And then I'm saying, you must do a little, you must grow a little bit from what you were given. Okay, yeah. And so it was a moment where it was like, we tried to go snorkeling, maybe the third attempt.

1:12:49And one of them always had a thing. I got stabbed by a sea urchin. Yeah. And it was another failed attempt. And then the fight. And then I was in my head. I'm like, I'm telling him we're going to go home. And then I'm like, I'm going to meditate. I'm going to sit on this lawn chair and I'm going to meditate because I want to be the best version of myself. And I am going to confront this. I am not going to have five days more of fighting. Yeah. But I got to do it in a very healthy way. And I'm about 12 minutes into my 20-minute meditation. and while I'm at the end I hear a blood-curdling screaming and I'm thinking, I'm like, oh, fuck, some parents got to do someone's deal with something.

1:13:26And the scream's getting louder and louder and louder and louder until it's obviously five feet from me. And I open my eyes and I look and my sweet little Delty is fucking covered in blood. Like, I don't even know where to begin to guess. That is so scary. Yes, and she has at least four hotel employees trailing her because they're obviously scared for her. God knows what liability fears they're having. Oh, yeah. They want us to go in an ambulance to be, you know, I mean, virtually they want us to be as safe as humanly possible. But I know my Delta, what she needs immediately is everyone to leave.

1:14:03Yep, yep, yep, yep. Because that's— She doesn't like that. Embarrassment would hurt more than, right? The attention hurts— She got that from me. She got that from you. So, you know, it's, okay, come here, you know, trying to get her calm, calm, calm. Are you looking for where? No, I know right now we need to like, we need to go from 15 to 10 so that I can then say, okay, mama, let me, let me take a look and just see what we're dealing with. So as it turned out, it was just a lip, but it was good enough that as she was screaming and crying, it was like on her arms and whatever. I knew it was serious, but also you never really know, right?

1:14:38Because they kind of have this reaction to most every injury. So you weren't scared? I wasn't scared. Really? No, I'm like, this is an emergency level trauma. The bleeding has stopped. Right. We don't need stitches. But you weren't worried about like a hemorrhage? I wasn't. You weren't watching enough ER, but okay. Yeah, had I just done 35 hours of the pit in ER maybe. And we get it all calmed down. Now, this is where I'll give D-Money a lot of credit. But as the next few days were on, especially day three after this thing, I'm looking at her in the sunshine. I go, sweetheart. Well, and she told me.

1:15:18She goes, Daddy, I didn't even put my hands out. She fell. She slipped on the concrete next to the pool. And she said, I didn't even put my hands out, which I kind of was like, I bet she put them out a little bit. She's not lying. She felt directly on her face. So a few days later, she had a black and blue cheek, black and blue chin. And she whacked her face so bad. Anywho, I did make this speech. It was a very gentle version. And everyone got their shit together. It was a big turn. Okay. We still had stuff. Sure. You're going to have stuff. You're going to have stuff. But there was a reset and I really appreciated it.

1:15:56What did you say? I said, it is very hard for me to be on this trip with one of you really mad at any given time. One of you was very, very mad. And I said, and I want to be able to take you on these trips if mom's working. And I have to be honest, next year comes around, if it continues like this, I'm not sure I'm going to take this trip again. Not we're going home, still a threat. I don't know. People probably think that was bad parenting. Whatever. They did hear, oh, we're not entitled to these trips if we act like assholes. He's saying I can't. I'm basically saying I can't handle it. Yeah.

1:16:30Okay, so that's a great reset. Let's not even talk about just single parent the sunblock routine when you're in Hawaii. Why? Because it's like every 40 minutes, I got to slather their whole body. Almost my full time. I'm glad you did it. Oh, I did. I'm like, if I bring them home sunburned, that's a. That's a wrap. That's hard to defend now. Yep. We go to dinner that night and I'm now feeling, I'm feeling like a failure. I'm like, I should be able to coordinate some kind of peaceful fun. We're in paradise at a beautiful hotel. You know, it should be easy. Should be. And so I'm not going to blame a 12 and a 10-year-old.

1:17:06I'm like, I'm not managing something correctly. And I was so relieved that as we were at these dinners, we were eavesdropping. And I want to tell you, shit's going down on all family vacations. That was comforting. That's standard family vacation. People fight. You think you're going to go to paradise and everyone's going to be so grateful the whole time. That's not what happens. That's not how it works. No, you're in a smaller space. Yeah. You have to compromise on schedules way more and you get what you sell. When I went on my girls trip. Yes, you and Callie. Yeah, we went to Napa. Wine country, if you don't know.

1:17:40We went to wine country, yes. California. And. And food country. Well, exactly. And turns out shopping country a little bit. Shopping country. They had some really cute shopping. We were just there for two nights. It was a quick trip, but we did so much. and we stayed at the Auberge du Soleil. I don't know if that's how you're supposed to. I love a hotel that I can't pronounce. Oh, yeah. And I love an Auberge hotel. That's a line of hotels. I've talked about the one in Austin before, Commodore Perry. Yeah, very cool. Gorgeous, very cool. We have visited you there. Yeah. Yeah, and it's beautiful.

1:18:20And this one was, it was so stunning and exquisite. it and. Well, they got my attention because they lent you guys an electric G-Wagon. Well, they, not us. They have that. They have a lot, a fleet of Mercedes, different Mercedes that they loan out to the guests. You just have to like, you know, sign a waiver and you can take it out. Yeah, in wine country. I know, which is a little like, wow. I was like, this is so nice because things are a bit Things aren't like five minutes away from each other. You'd have to drive a little bit. Yeah. And it's a pay like to Uber everywhere or to have a driver.

1:19:06So, and we only did one winery. So we weren't like bopping around from winery to winery. But anyway, it was such a nice amenity. And I did feel. And I urged you to make the car. The car will do a 365 degree turn like a tank. Yeah. And I really wanted you guys to do that. And you said you might find a parking lot and try it. And then you told me you didn't have time. We didn't have time. You definitely had time to do a 360, but I understand. We didn't have time for that. Okay. But it was, we were like excited to try the G-Wagon. Callie drove it and she did a great job. And turns out there were a couple, well, I ran into many arm cherries on the trip.

1:19:44And again, everyone was so incredible. One, one I had a kind of regretful encounter with, not regretful, but we, Callie and I were in the little like shopping area, St. Helena. and we went into this little coffee shop just to get a coffee and um we were waiting for the coffee the place was pretty crowded but like we didn't think that much of it we were waiting for the coffee and there was an arm cherry sitting there and she said hey monica you know i love the show whatever and she and i was like oh are you are you from here and they weren't they were i forgot oh god i'm sorry i forget i want to say chicago that sounds right because of rob yeah um and And they, and she was like, no, we're just on the ship.

1:20:28Had to get the English muffin. And I was like, yeah. And she like kind of pointed to her food a little bit, but I didn't really know what she was talking about. But of course. Well, I would have thought, oh, this place is known for their English muffin. I better get one. Well, yeah, but it didn't, I wasn't getting that vibe. I was just like, oh, okay. Yeah. And then I did feel embarrassed because I should know. Yeah. I should know about English muffins and fancy foods and stuff. So anyway, I ran out of there as fast as I could. Okay. And then. Covering your head in shame. The next day when we were about to, when we were leaving, the morning we took out the G wagon.

1:21:09We went to Yonville, which is the food area. Where French Laundry is. And all these other, Bouchon, all these things. The person working at the front desk, Phoebe. Oh, there we go. And I will circle back to Phoebe. Okay. And she told Callie that there was a place in Yachtville known for their English muffins and that we should go. And it was called like mini, according to Callie, mini Modell. But I don't know if that's right. She got it right. Yeah. So we go there and then we're in line and Callie was like, oh, I think that coffee shop we went to was just Modell. Like this is a version of that, like another little small version.

1:21:49And I was like, this makes total sense what the arm cherry was saying. So I was right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So anyway, this arm cherry was in the know. Apparently it's like Oprah's favorite English muffin. Oh, wow. And it was insane. It was. Oh, my God. It was so good. Poor Callie. She's gluten-free. She has celiac. So she couldn't have it. Yeah. Did she even play the game in her head like, oh, sourdough's got less? No. She didn't even make it. She said, when she was looking at it, she was like, if I was going to cheat, she's like, which I never would. Cause it's not like mine. Yeah. And a lot of people.

1:22:25I can live with my. Yeah. She'll be on the ground. Yeah. She's like, that might be, that would be the one, even though she's not going to do it. Anyway, she got some for Max. Max loved them. Oh, he did. And he's a chef for people who don't know. Exactly. He's a chef. So this all circles back, right? This is relevant because, um, When we first got to the hotel, there was two like freshly batched cocktails with my name and Callie's name. Yeah. And they were called Cherry on Top. Yeah. And I was like, is this a weird sim? Is it a wink? Or is it a wink? Is it a sim or is it a wink? I don't know, but I don't want to like.

1:23:06You want to mind your ego and not assume. Exactly. I was like, I think it's, I don't think so. And you're like, get over yourself. Yeah. The word cherry existed before your podcast. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I had two little cocktail glasses with two, like, cherry. It was so, so cute. And also, the cocktail was incredible. Oh. Did you text Bert? Oh, fuck. I gotta text Bert. You need to. I need to text Bert. I guess it'll be a three-way text, but. He DM'd me. Bert Kreischer. Bert Kreischer. But he's not allowed to be on a text with a woman, which is hilarious. He's not. I have to read this list.

1:23:37So I have to be on any communication between the two of you. You do. What would be incredible is if you guys did start a huge affair and it was just in front of me. And I'm like, well, I don't know how this helped. Now I just have to observe this whole thing. What if because I was there, he was felt free to just. Go nuts. And say so much dirty shit. Yeah. Like I think about your body all the time. What? I said it was all the same. What? Dax was on there. It was fine. Okay. Anyways, go ahead. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, when Bert was on this show, we had a whole cocktail conversation. We told each other what to have.

1:24:09He got, I told him to get a bee's knees. he told me to get a shot of Fernet. And Campari. And then also separately a Campari spritz. Okay. Then Jess, Anna, and I went to Little Dom's and I did get the Fernet. We all had it. So I posted a picture of this, right? And you liked it. And did he even respond? Yes. Oh, good. He responded. He says, I have to get you drunk on my cooking show. Lots of exclamation points. And then he responded, that sounded creepy. Where's Dax? He said, that sounded creepy. We have to get drunk on my cooking show. which is very, very funny. Yeah, I like that he's aware of not being creepy.

1:24:47I think that's a great thing. I do too. Anywho, so I need to send Bert that cocktail. He'll love it. Yes. But anyway, so I was like, well, maybe it was a wink, but probably not. Probably just something sweet they do. And still, that could be the case. But then there was this cute little card they wrote, and I didn't really understand it at first. Yeah. Because there were two hats for Callie and I that they had given us. And then there was a little note that said something along the lines of, here's some hats so you can be, in quotes, a new Monica. And then I forgot that we had just talked about hats on the fact check.

1:25:24And that you're a new Monica. I felt like a new Monica when I wore them. So we did have some Arm Cherry fans who worked at the Aubergine. And it was really, really sweet. And I do believe one of them was Phoebe. Okay. And she was just so lovely. So I wanted to shout out Phoebe. Oh, and then, oh, yes, because Callie went to the front. I slept in on the last day. Oh, good for you. And Callie went to the front and she was doing all these arrangements for the car and this. And she said, so who did that cocktail? And then she said, Phoebe got really red. And then Callie was like, oh, no, she got worried that she felt that I was embarrassed or something.

1:26:04And so she. Monica won't leave the room. That's why she's not here. she's really upset it has nothing to do with the fact that she sleeps 12 hours a night so she and Callie said it was just so sweet and we are so appreciative and it was so nice that's not why she's not here and Phoebe said well we have there were a few fans who work here and Callie said it was just so nice for me because I, you know, I've been around the whole ride and it's just really sweet for me to see that. Yeah, yeah. And she said, well, she talks about you a lot too.

1:26:48She was like, oh boy, okay. Have you tried the 360 degree turn in the, I said 365 degree, didn't I? I'm just now remembering. That's how many days are in a year. There's only 360 degrees in a circle though. How embarrassing. Some gearhead's like. Upset, someone's upset. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

1:27:20Okay, I had to get involved with something. And I'm wondering, I think I finally did it right. Okay. And it was during one of, but this was post-reset. Okay. So this was fine. Okay. We found this like very, very desolate beach. Nobody's there. We pull over. The girls are playing in the thing. Then it's time to leave. We're walking back. Delta steps on a thorn. She's barefoot. She then goes and takes a breather. Oh, nice. So now Lincoln and I are just sitting in the car. And I'm looking in my rearview mirror, and there's a woman walking with two little kids through this little dirt parking lot.

1:27:53And when I say little, this little boy is like two and a half. A little blonde, cute little boy. And I hear, get away from that car. And I look, and she grabs him by the neck. Oh, no. And drags his little body. And I'm gonna get out. Oh, boy. This is complicated. Right? Like, there's no, I'm not gonna watch this woman do this. Oh, no. It was really, Lincoln saw it, too. Like, if I need backup. Well, I trust you. It was abusive. It was bad. Oh, God. And then he tries to get free, and then she grabs his head again, and he falls. And so I roll down the window. I'm about to get out. And then I roll down the window, and I go, no, no, no.

1:28:34gentle gentle gentle gentle it's gentle gentle gentle but also the subtext is i'm getting out of this car if you don't oh my god and she let go of his neck and said come on then she grabbed his hand and started guiding him which was a huge improvement do you think it was a babysitter no you're sure yeah the woman and the boy looked alike she was she looked she had some hard miles on her. Let's just say that. Grandma, auntie? No, no, mom, mom, mom. That was rough. That's scary. I fucking hate that there's little people who are getting treated like that. I hate it. It's so sad. That's like the woman I saw outside Covell, remember, like being so horrible to her daughter.

1:29:21And yeah, I don't know what you're supposed to do. I know, because again, we already talked about it, but it's like, I'm not going to say anything that's going to change this woman's behavior for life, obviously. And in fact, that could probably make it worse. Yeah. And probably she might take it out on the kid. Exactly. And you need to know, however hard you are on me about my aggressive reactions to things, Lincoln, she will not stand for it. I like that. Yeah, it's great. I'm glad she's like that. And she was very approving. Oh, she was. She was. She thought I had done it well. Okay. So I finally did it in a way no one was mad at me.

1:29:57Yeah. Yeah. Well, what were you going to do if you got out? Steal him? Put him in your car? Drive away? Keep him? Give him to me? No, but my inclination was to get in front of her face, like, so that she knew, I'm not asking you to stop doing this. It wouldn't have helped. Well, it would have. She would have. She would have. In the moment. Yes, yes, yes. But I think that will have a negative impact later on. If we have any social worker listeners, maybe they can tell us what you're supposed to do. I mean, I really don't know what you're supposed to do. I don't know either. And I just happened to see a lot of stuff.

1:30:34So I saw this family getting a fight behind us. And it was the way the man was talking to the wife was such a bummer. And she had no, like, she went like comatose. And then she had to leave the table with one of the boys that was pissing the dad off. And then I saw a grandpa grab a phone out of a teenager's hand at breakfast. It's so white loaded. And chuck it on the table. And I was like, holy cow, people are handling their business in certain ways. Yeah. And then the anthropologist in me really has to now work through this whole thing where I go like, well, you're assuming your way is the correct way.

1:31:15Yeah. And clearly people have been raising kids all kinds of way in every kind of culture. Yep. And I don't want to be high and mighty and self-righteous. Yes. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. It's, but there's a lot of shit going down. People are really rough and also going, and people are having a harder time than me. Right? So that's in the mix. I'm not stretched to the limit. You know, I'm not. I'm not my mom on vacation. It's like I can't afford the vacation we're on, but I really want to show my kids the country. What was tempting is to go all these spoiled rich people. But that's wrong.

1:31:53I was at the shitty hotels, too, and it was gnarly there, too. You know what it is? It's hard to raise kids. Adam Grant just had a post. You would have loved this. I was debating whether or not to forward it to you. But Adam Grant had another social scientist on that's done all this work. Oh, I saw it. You saw it? I almost reposted it. Yeah, and it's just in a nutshell, it just says kids make your life worse. There's like. They reduce happiness. Yeah. Now. There's stats. Then you get into, though, you get into the Yuval Harari, like your narrative self does feel one way. And whether or not you should be happy all the time, that's what you're always servicing.

1:32:27That's a bigger thing. But it was interesting that the data is absolutely consistent and undeniable. They make your life worse. Yeah. So, yeah. But I know for a lot of reasons, it's not just like, oh, because they're annoying. It's because there's stress that comes with raising people. Yes. If you care at all. And they don't act. They don't act. They don't do what you want them to do. They haven't figured it out yet. If you tell them a way to be, it doesn't mean they're just going to listen and be that way. No. Like, it's hard. And people are their worst selves around their family. Yeah. I mean, I was just, I was like thinking about all our vacations when you were talking about yours.

1:33:07And I was like, yeah, we just like yelled at each other. I was just so mean. Like I was just such a brat. And, you know, I just remember I was going to New York and I wanted to go to Serendipity so bad. The movie? No, the chocolate shop. Oh, okay. So bad. It was the only thing I wanted to do. And I brought it up every day. It was like, we'll go, we'll go. I promise we'll go. I promise we'll go. And then we go and it's a three-hour line. I was like, well, you said this. And they were like, we're not doing this. And I was like, oh, my. And I like could not handle the fact that we were not going to go to serendipity.

1:33:40Yes. And. Yes. Look, it's just like. That's where Lincoln and I stuff comes up is that we have two know-it-alls in the family. Yep. Who got to make the game plan. Yeah. And of course, like we get we get to the airport. We take a little tram to the airport. It ends at the terminal. I know that the check ins inside Lincoln. I read a sign that's down there and I'm like, okay. Okay. Well, and then I said, even if, even if you're right, it would make the most sense to peek in this one before we walk all the way down. I read the sign and I'm like, okay, I'm seeing that this is me. Like this is what it was like to travel with me.

1:34:18This is what it's like to be around me. Yeah. And I deserve this. Yeah. And if anyone should be able to figure out how to deal with this, it should be me, but I don't know how to, because I'm the same way. And I'm like, there's the idea of me walking to another terminal that I fucking know United's not inside there. Yeah. Which I won't die. You'd rather die. Yeah. Again, I intellectually know I'm not going to die if that happens, but there's no way I can do that. Yeah. And then I'm like, you know, okay, so we're both this way. I'm 50 and I paid for all this. Does that not get me the tiebreaker vote?

1:34:55Shouldn't the parent have the fucking tiebreaker? The parent, but not because you paid. Yeah. That's where the guy who threw the phone, like that guy's that. He's like, I paid for all this, and so everyone better just do what I say. Yeah, that guy I had diagnosed was, I paid for all this. You better be happy nonstop. Yeah. Because this is my vacation. That's what's comfortable for him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Lincoln and I, you know, and then it's like, what line do you get in for anything? Lincoln and I have a very strong opinion. And it's me. That's what makes it so hard. But it is tricky because like.

1:35:35I know more. Listen, I am percentage wise. I am right more. Well. I am. You've had more time on earth. Yes. Yeah. I should goddamn hope at 50 I know a little more about the world than my 12 year old. Yes. I would hope so too. Now this is where I do think you got, you both, you and Kristen are very kind to the kids. It's like you, the fact that that's even a thought. And I mean, I don't have them, but I do know. I do know that if like, even if I was with your kids, if Lincoln was like, I saw a sign, I would say, I would say, oh, you might be right, but we're going to do this. Right. And like, that's it.

1:36:13And that's right. But that's not going to work. Well, then she's going to stand there. She's like me. She'll walk. Okay. Literally. Like, this is why it's, it's like, it's nuclear assured annihilation. She and I will both, we're both the type of people that will be like, fine, you guys go do it the wrong way. I'm going by myself to do it. Now, this is bad, but I'm admitting this to you. So I know if push comes to shove, she will walk by herself away from us and go to where she thinks it is at. So I have got to prevent that because she's that strong. And I love it about her. I know. But when she's older, I'll be delighted.

1:36:49Did she - Ish. Like there are parts of you as an adult that's like, maybe, you know, I don't know. We could work on. We could work on. We're working on it. We're working on it. We are working on it. I know. And all to say, I was quite proud when I got home of the job I did, even though I did things wrong and everything. Sure, sure. I do like who I am. Good. That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like who you are. It's hard. Sometimes it's hard. But so you never, you're right. Maybe it just wouldn't work. I tried that way with her for a while. Yeah. And I want to believe I'm smart enough to go, well, this is what my dad did.

1:37:33And my dad reaped what he sow. I said, fine, I don't need you. Like if I'm going to, if to be with you is to surrender to your will, guess what? I don't need to be with you. So I know I had that in me to walk away from him. and I know she has it in her too, and I'm not going to let that happen. So that's the driving force behind me going, I have to do it differently than my dad did because I know what the result was. I was, look, I need her more than she needs me emotionally. That's not true. No, no, because I was there. I'm like, I don't care if I don't talk to my dad for a year, which happened numerous times.

1:38:16that's way easier on me than it was on him, I'm sure. And if Lincoln didn't talk to me for a year, it would devastate me. So I have to be realistic. It's like the thing that Bill Gates' therapist finally told him is you're fighting an unfair war. Your parents are gonna love you and never withhold that from you. And you can withhold it for them. And it's not a fair war. And you're gonna win. And so that's on the table. So I, if there's two variables in this equation and one of them has to bend, it's got to be me because it's not going to be her. I know it because I was the same way. I know. But what was happening with your dad is different than what's happening with you at the airport taking them to the Four Seasons Maui.

1:39:00Like for real. So if, I'm just saying, if like she did do that, if she was like, I'm not talking to my dad for a month because he wanted to go one way in the airport taking us on a trip. she needs to be straightened out a little bit. That's not fair. Listen, but I think you have to be realistic about what you're dealing with. I don't think she would. No, she wouldn't. Yeah. It also helps that she's a girl and I'm a boy. There's something there that is helpful that my dad and I did. My dad and I had that thing and then male on male. So it was like, and he wasn't around. So I only saw him once in a while.

1:39:36That's what I'm saying. This is such a different scenario. Once a month, he'd tell me what the program was and I'm like, according to who? You didn't respect him because of what, because of his actions. Yep. So then why would you listen to him if he's saying this thing? I just know, and you've seen it in me. I can, I can destroy myself and another person. Yep. I have that switch. You do. I do. And I think I gave it to my beautiful little girl. That's okay. And so I just have to do everything in my power to not be my dad and surrender because I want to be with her and I don't want her to write me off.

1:40:20But can I push back a little? Yeah. I think you potentially, we don't know, there's no way to go back in time. Yeah. But you potentially wouldn't have, it wouldn't be such a struggle for you now if you have been practicing since you were 12. If you have been put in the position to really start practicing that skill for that long. You've been, like, she's better off early starting to understand, you know what? Sometimes I'm going to have to surrender. She does all the time. Yeah. And so here's what's great. Because I don't get in these wars with her, she will come to that. Yeah. She'll calm down.

1:41:03Yeah. And she comes to it. So she has built a lot of trust with me. With you. If I thought she never corrected her behavior and she was just my way or the highway and fuck everyone. And then I don't even care and I don't redirect and I don't feel bad and I don't come say sorry. That's one thing. Yeah. That's not at all what I'm dealing with. Right. It's in the moment I can have a power struggle with her. Yeah. Or I can have the faith that she will recognize she was being really bullheaded and she'll apologize, which is 90 percent of the time what happens. And I wasn't given that leash. Yeah. My mother did.

1:41:34So my mother knew how to deal with me. Obviously, I never had any power struggles with my mom. Right. And Lincoln and Kristen knows how to handle Lincoln in a way that I just I can't. Well, Kristen is fine to walk to the other side. Yep, exactly. She's not, it doesn't bother her. And in my defense, Delta has things. Yeah. They just don't bother me. Exactly. And they bother Kristen. Yes. Because they're her thing. Yeah. But in life, both kids, every person are going to encounter people. Yeah. Who trigger that thing. And it's good to have practice. Of course. There's two things. And Kristen always is pointing this out to me.

1:42:14And it's very, very true. So there's, I'm not saying she's ADHD. I'm not saying that. She's not been diagnosed with that. She goes through school just fine. She does not have a disorder. She's doing great. But I just had Tim Simons on Mom's Car with Erin. Oh, nice. And it was so fun. And he got diagnosed very early with ADHD. And he knows a lot about it. And he was telling me some very interesting things about it. One of them is there's really common comorbidities with ADHD. One of them is an overactive sense of justice, like a really strong, like it drives you nuts. And then self-abuse when you've erred, like self-flagellation.

1:43:03Because you are so confident. I think that's part of it. It's like there's such a double down that if you're wrong, you can't just be like, oops, because you made a whole to-do. Well, that's one of them. But then there's just simple mistakes. Like I tripped. Yeah. I made a mess. I spilled the thing. I said something I shouldn't have said. Those kind of things, Delta can shrug right off. Those kind of things Lincoln will ruminate on for a very long time. Like very self punishing. Yeah. So I relate a lot to both of those things. Yeah, me too. And so I know what it feels like. So my thing, it's not like I won't listen to authority as much as like if I have evaluated something as unjust.

1:43:50Like I'm a human too with a brain too, and we have two different opinions. And it is unjust that yours just overrides mine. That was such a hard thing for me. It happened with teachers. It happened with stepdads. It happened with my brother. It was like, we're equal. I don't care that you're older. I don't care that you have a degree. I don't care. Like I'm a human and you're a human and we both are intelligent and I have one opinion, you have another. And you're telling me I have to let go of mine because what? Because you have some status, whether it's age or this or that. That was so painful for me.

1:44:22I'm not excusing it, but I do know it was extremely painful for me. Sure. But you can see now you just said it. You just said it like 15 minutes ago that it's objectively true. You having so many more years and knowledge and experience in life does earn you that. It does earn you. It does. But it does. And I'm looking at it from that also mature point of view. Yeah. It's just hard. It's a lot. Yeah. It's hard to, I think it's hard to be a parent. It is. And then on the other side is the reward of it is also, it's equally matched. Yeah. Let's see if we can find the thing that Adam Grant says. Okay, yeah, yeah.

1:45:05And then I'll find the diabetes song. Oh, great. I can't wait. I can't believe you don't want to hear that. It's easy for me to find because, of course, I sent it to Aaron. The last child leaves the house, on average, parents get happier, don't they? The best data suggests happiness increases when the kids leave home and the dog dies. You go to some parents and you go, do children make you happy? And parents will say, oh, of course they do. They make me happier than anything else. We know from tons of data that those parents are wrong, that children, in fact, have a small but negative impact on the happiness of their parents.

1:45:45But their parents don't know it. Those data tell you something about parenthood and happiness. There may be many reasons to have children, but making yourself more happy in the moment is not one of them. Yeah, really good. Okay, Anthony. So he achieved a Guinness World Record by successfully hitting a golf ball 106 feet with the world's longest usable golf club. And it's really important people take the time to watch a clip of him doing it because you're not possibly imagining the golf club being as long as it actually is. Yeah, it's pretty wild how long it is. And it's like curved. Yes, it looks like he is fishing off of a pier.

1:46:24Yes, it does. Yes, it's crazy. And that was in November 2018. Yeah, okay. Okay. I don't think that'll be beaten. I don't either. God willing. Okay, the record for the father-son pulling fire trucks. That was in Coburg. So two Coburg strong men won't be celebrating Father's Day with a fishing trip or a ball game this weekend. Instead, Reverend Kevin Fast and his son Jacob Fast will attempt to pull two fire trucks. The goal is to set a new Guinness World Record for heaviest vehicle pulled by two people. The Saturday, June 18th event is a fundraiser for Habitat for Humanity. Oh, that's nice. A cause Reverend Fass became involved in last summer when he pulled a house 11.95 meters.

1:47:11He pulled a house? Yes. He's also well known for setting a Guinness World Record in 2009 for pulling a 416 ,229 pound aircraft in 2009 at CFB Trenton. Oh, my goodness. Okay. Does Lionel Richie have a room in his house that's a replica of the room he originally wrote his music in? Now, I don't know about that, but there is an article on Architectural Digest about his house. Oh, there is. As for the home's overall mood, what I'm trying to do here is show travel, says the entertainer who's always on the road. And finally, I found a place where I can apply everything I see in other countries. These disparate ideas, he trickles back via photographs sent by email to the masters who pull my ideas together, a team comprising interior designers Peter Schifondo and J.

1:48:00Jonathan Joseph, and until his recent death, architect Robert Atrey. A case in point of Ritchie's inspired wanderlust is a subtle Palomino hue of the building's exterior, first spotted on a cardinal's house he saw on a hilltop in Lake Como. And then there's the high gloss pale yellow Venetian plaster on the walls of the capacious living room inspired by Richie's visit to Poland's presidential palace. The mirrored effect of the walls was so beautiful. I had to ask, how do you do this? With several layers of paint buffed and polished like a stone, he learned it's not easy to come by, but once it's done, the room can have a single chair and it works.

1:48:34He pauses the things that inspire me. He laughs were done years ago with cheap labor and materials. Trying to recreate them has cost me a bloody fortune. Still in this - Lionel said bloody? Yeah. Okay. Still in this movable feast of the imagination, it's the personal touches that mesmerize. A bronze sculpture depicting Ritchie's hand intertwined with that of his father. Frame letters from Booker T. Washington and George Washington Carver to Ritchie's grandmother. A faculty member at the Tuskegee Institute in Alabama where the singer grew up. Two paintings in the billiard room by jazz trumpeter and pal Miles Davis.

1:49:12The kinetic abstracts, brilliant, complicated, twisted, and turned in every way, just like Miles, are signed on the back to the best from the best. With its high ceilings, dramatic staircases, sweeping trauma. I wish I could sign from the best. You can't. No. Well, you can, but you shouldn't. Why can't I? I'm not the best at anything. You need to be the best at something to sign the best. You have to be so the best. You have to be Miles. Miles Davis. Yeah. He can easily sign that. I think he's the only one. No, Coltrane could have done it. Eddie Van Halen. There's a bunch of people. No, I wouldn't want Van Halen too.

1:49:47Eddie Van Halen. With its high ceilings, dramatic staircases, sweeping promenades, and international panache, Richie's Manor. What? Jordan. Jordan could. Yeah. Ding, ding, ding. Anthony Anderson's story about Jordan. Richie's Manor house could be anywhere in the world, which is why he planned it. I call the rooms in my house destinations. nations. If I want to be in a suite in Paris, I go upstairs to the bedroom and close the door. Italy, I walk outside to the stone path bordering the property and look back to see the Cardinal's house. With my career, I have to get on a plane every other week.

1:50:19So when people ask, where do you go for vacation? I say I go home. I want to be a guest at his home. Me too. But also the way he talked about it, we don't know the answer, but... Sounds likely. It sounds likely. Okay. When did the police get back together for their last tour? After not being together, they reunited in early 2007. for a world tour which lasted through 2008. I heard Sting talking about that once on a talk show, and he said it was perfect. Within the first 20 minutes of the rehearsal, he and Stuart Copeland were in such a big fight they were going to cancel the tour or something like that.

1:50:52He's like, it was directly back to how the band always was. Oh, that's funny. Okay, he mentioned elephantitis. He said when all the lower extremities are like one size. Now, it's called elephantiasis. Hmm. Elephantiasis. Elephantiasis? It's not elephantitis. It's elephantiasis. That's how we like to colloquially say it. Elephantitis. Elephantitis of the nuts. Yeah, exactly. It's a condition characterized by significant swelling, primarily in the legs, arms, or genitals, caused by a parasitic infection of the lymphatic system. The swelling is due to the buildup of lymphatic fluid, often leading to a disfigured appearance, hence the name.

1:51:36Okay, he was talking about D.C. So he said that was the murder capital of the world then.

1:51:47Now, several countries and cities consistently rank high in homicide rates. It says it's difficult to pinpoint definitively which one, but okay. So in 2023, Jamaica had the highest homicide rate. Okay, per capita. At 49.3 per 100 ,000 people. While Ecuador saw a significant increase in its rate to 45.1 per 100 ,000. Within Mexico, cities like Colima and Zamora have been reported to have extremely high homicide rates. Now, as far as the U.S., St. Louis. Okay. Does Anthony have the record for most appearances on Kimmel? Yes, he does. He does? Yes. Total of 63 appearances. They include guest appearance.

1:52:29I can't talk. These include guest appearances, guest hosting, and co-hosting. Okay. 63. Man Who Played Fela on Broadway. There's two.

1:52:43Kevin Mambo is one. And then a name I'll spell. Okay. First name S-A-H-R. Saw her. And then last name N-G-A-U-J-A-H. I'm not going to try to pronounce it. Okay. anyway that's it I'm delighted to be back with you me too yeah it's been a long time we have so many stories we too many stories we have for next week good thing we don't have more time off it really is alright love you okay love you

1:53:29Thank you.