Armchair Anonymous: Babysitting II

24:05but it was in Walled Lake. So like I would go babysit this kid and his sister and my dad and his buddy would go out to the bar all night. No one was ever going to know this, of course. But then I moved to his house in ninth grade and I get into my fucking homeroom and I'm in a homeroom with this kid who thought I was two years older. And I just remember feeling so embarrassed for him. Like, oh Jesus. But it never seemed like he put together those pieces. Maybe he didn't. The gap was staggering. He was like a kid and I was an adult. or it really felt like appropriate that I would be babysitting this kid and his little sister.

24:39They'd be fighting and stuff like kids. I'd be like, okay, no. Jeff. Hi, how are you? I'm great. How are you? Good. This is best friend Aaron Weekly. Monica is out. Hi, Jeff. Crazy enough, I'm in Kalamata, Greece at a friend's house on vacation. Oh, lucky you. What's the scene in Greece right now? It's been amazing. We flew into Athens and we have some friends who are Greek and they've been touring us around. So we've been here for about five days. So it's like 1130 at night here in a small house. I got everybody sort of out of the room so I could do this. Thank them for us. I'm here mostly because my daughter's just a huge fan of you guys.

25:17As soon as she saw that the prompt was babysitting, she called, she's like, you got to go online and tell your babysitting stories. I was going to ask you, is this a wife or a daughter who listens to the show? I was going to maybe guess that without offending you, but this makes total sense. I must say, I listened to a whole bunch today and it's awesome. I really enjoy the show. And my story is old enough that hopefully the references won't be lost on anybody. Okay, great. Well, I doubt you're that much older than me, so I bet I'll get most of them. So hit us with the babysitting story. This is set back in the early 80s.

25:46I was 16 years old. And my mom, who was one of these super caring, loving, nice to everybody people, came home from work one day and she said, I volunteered you for something. And she did this a lot. Where did you grow up? I grew up in London, Ontario, a couple hours out of Toronto. I tell this to everyone from London, Ontario. So I grew up in the 80s in Detroit. And once a year, we would take a road trip to Toronto. And we would always immediately get McDonald's in Windsor when we crossed the border. And always around London, Ontario, we would finish our big McDonald's and just shove it out the window, as everyone did in the 80s.

26:20So I always apologize to anyone from London. They probably got a bunch of our McDonald's trash. A lot of litter on the 401. She was talking to a guy she worked with, a really nice guy who was a single dad, had gone through kind of a messy divorce and had a son on his own. And he couldn't get a babysitter because being a single dad, he said all the babysitters needed a ride home. And he said, of course, I can't drive them home because I have to stay home with my son. So he just sort of gave up on going out. He wasn't dating. And I said, well, I'll get my son to babysit for you. He's got his own car.

26:50I was 16 at the time. I had a sister, Sue, who she babysat, but I didn't babysit. I'd never done it before. I knew nothing about kids. So I had zero interest in babysitting. But of course, it was too late because my mom had volunteered me and she was selling me on it. She's like, it's really easy. He's going to have you arrive late. His son, whose name is Andrew, will be in bed. And he's like, you just have to go in, watch TV, eat snacks, take care of the kid until around midnight. And then Tom will get home and you can leave. So it did sound like a pretty easy gig, even though I would have rather been out with my friends on a Saturday night.

27:20I went to this guy, Tom's house, which I was meeting for the first time. I pulled up in my car. He had this old house in the old part of London, creaky stairs, creaky floors. I went in there and he gave me the tour. He showed me the snacks and then off he went. How old was the kid sleeping? I think he was three. Oh, that's pretty young. I can honestly say that I've never seen this kid. I didn't that night and I never have since. I never got a look at him because he was locked away and that wasn't my responsibility. So I flipped on the TV. I did what any 16 year old would do first. I snooped around his house a little bit.

27:52cords, checked out what he had, then grabbed some food, laid down on the couch. I was a big Saturday Night Live fan. I think those are back in the Eddie Murphy day. So I probably watched Saturday Night Live and just quickly fell sound asleep. Good nap on the couch until I heard the door open and he said, thank you so much. This was amazing. And he paid me and I got in my car and I drove home and driving home, I go, this wasn't that bad. Maybe I'll do more babysitting. It was easy money. I just ate pizza, watched TV. Rifled through his drawers and then went home. Exactly. I pull onto my street and at the end of my driveway, there's like a crazy person.

28:29And it's my mom. She's got her fists clenched and she's just freaking out. And of course, I'm like, I'm just arriving home. I'm like, oh my God, what's going on? And I pull into the driveway and she's screaming like, where is he? Where is he? Oh no. Where is who? And she's like, where is Andrew? And I'm like, I don't know. She's like, well, he's not there. Tom's been calling and he can't find his son. Oh my God. I was like, I never saw the kid. I didn't go upstairs. I had no idea where the son was. And then part of me probably at the time is thinking like, I've been set up. This guy is like a murderer and he's going to put it on the babysitter.

29:06Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I never checked if the kid was even there.

29:25it turns out after a couple phone calls and me saying i don't know and i'm saying to mom should i go back and he's saying don't come back there's nothing you can do he kind of had an inkling and it turned out he had an estranged ex-wife she had some mental issues and was not allowed to see her son. And she had snuck in while I was sleeping on the couch and took the kid up the squeaky stairs, grabbed the crying three-year-old back down the squeaky stairs, passed the sleeping babysitter. And I just slept through the whole thing. You're useless. You might as well not have anyone there. Exactly. You're only hiring him in hopes that in case there's a kidnapping, you could intervene, but no.

30:03He sort of figures out that it was probably her. And he has a sister who's also in London. She doesn't even live in London, his ex-wife. She's in some other city, probably in Windsor near the McDonald's. I hear this in court, I'll tell you the rest of that story. But he heads over to the sister's house, hears his son crying inside, knocks on the door, and when they don't answer the door, he kicks down the door, apparently punches the sister's boyfriend in the face, grabs his son, gets back in the car, and drives home. So he's got his kid back, and you'd think everything's okay, but he gets charged with assault.

30:36I end up being a witness in the case, a pretty useless witness. I really don't know why I was there, but I had to go to court. And this was maybe a month later. And my mom takes me and we go to court and we sit outside and his lawyer's briefing me like, here's what you need to say. His lawyer's trying to say that this woman violated her order and stole her kid. He's trying to get her charged with kidnapping and instead he's being charged with assault. And so I have to go up and testify. And of course the judge just makes a fool. Everybody makes a fool of me. Like, so did you go upstairs? No, I didn't go upstairs.

31:07Did you see the kid? you remember anything you should have said who's on trial here yeah were you doing drugs or alcohol i was like i was not doing drugs and alcohol i was just sleeping i looked for drugs and alcohol everywhere but i couldn't find anything so that was one of my more embarrassing days of my life that's weirdly better than what i was gonna guess the thing that seemed most logical to me is this boy who had not been introduced to you before he went to sleep he just wakes up in the middle of night to get a drink of water and there's a fucking strange dude sleeping on the couch and his dad's nowhere to be found.

31:39So he runs like I would get the hell out of the apartment. Equally plausible story based on how sound I was sleeping. The funniest part of the whole story is this all ends and it kind of goes away. I'm going on with my life and I'm 17. A year later, my mom comes home from work and she's like, Hey, Tom was just wondering, like, would you be interested in babysitting again? I politely said no. And until I was parenting my own child, that was the only time I ever babysat. Tom's nuts. I mean, I would not hire you again. I left some uppers for Jeff on my nightstand, which I'm sure he'll be going through.

32:12So just tell him that there's some dexedrine there, see if he can keep his eyes open this time. Exactly. Oh, well, Jeff, thanks for taking time out of this great Greek vacation. No problem. Thanks so much for having me on. I got to make a shout out to my daughter, Andy, who, like I said, is a massive fan of you guys. Send our love to Andy. Okay, take care, Jeff. That's so great. that he had to go to court for being a witness. He's like, I don't know. I don't know. Ask someone else. Hi, Macy. Hi. Where are you at, Macy? What part of the world? I am currently in San Jose, so just north of you. But this story takes place in Toronto.

32:49I'm originally from Toronto. Can I blow your mind? Our last caller, Jeff, was telling us a story from London, Ontario. Close by. So you were born and raised in Toronto, but now have relocated? Yes. I just moved here three weeks ago, actually, with my partner. Okay. What brought you to San Jose? A job? His job. Is he an athlete for the Sharks? No, he's not. Oh, look at this. No, he's not. Well, of course, they're from Canada. But wait, this is nuts. The person who said that was Sharks. He's with them right now, but he's in between teams. So we'll see if he makes it. Okay. You would know this player.

33:23He played for the Maple Leafs, Fanuc. What is it, Rob? Dion Fanuc. Dion Fanuc. Do you know that player? I don't know much about hockey. I'm just the supporter. The hockey wives is a whole thing, right? That's like a whole scene. It is. I've worked with an actress who was married to him. And the first time he came in to visit the set, and I knew he was coming from practice, I thought, oh, this is so weird. Dion left his pads on. Like, he left his pads on under. I really thought that. That was the only explanation I could have for how fucking big his haunches were. And then once I saw it, I was like, Dion, you have the biggest ass I've ever seen.

33:58I thought you had your pads on. I know. It honestly blows my mind every day too. And how long have you been together? Three years. Three years. Did you mean in high school? We did. This is fun and lovely. Okay, so you have a babysitting story. Do I ever? It was December 20th of 2023. And I was 19 years old caring for a family of four. And they're seriously like family to me. I treated them like my own. I still do. I love them like my own. and at the time they were six months old, two years old, four years old, and seven years old. So Macy, that's a lot on your plate. Like I think the parents can barely handle that.

34:34That's why I'm there. They're the best kids in the world, honestly. Like I wouldn't babysit for them if they weren't. I'm quite strict with who I babysit for, but I was there two, three, four times a week helping with everything from date nights to afterschool activities. I was always their go-to gal. But this evening, the parents had left around 5.30 for dinner and a Raptors game, so basketball. And I followed our usual routine. I put the first baby down around 6, the 2-year-old down around 7, and then the older two around 8, 8.15. So by 9, all kids are ready for bed, sleeping, books read, teeth brushed, pajamas on.

35:11And really quick, we were just discussing this. Did you love the snacks that were available at this house? Is it now snack time? It is. That is my next point is I went downstairs. I had a snack. How much rummaging did you do? I don't do too much. We did some exploring. We went to every room. Yeah, we're bad. I watched some TV, FaceTime my boyfriend. At this point, it was around 11 and my boyfriend had gone to bed and my phone had died. So I went to sit at the kitchen counter to charge it. And the kitchen island's near the back door. and I heard some rustling in the backyard and I assumed it was like raccoon or a squirrel, just normal nighttime activity.

35:51Though such noises always make me a little uneasy if I don't know what it is. But then I heard footsteps coming up the back porch. Okay, and raccoons do not wear shoes. And can I ask, is this in a residential area or is this downtown Toronto? This is the residential area. So they had a house and a yard. So my first thought was that the parents had come home, but it was odd because they've never gone through the back door. They always use the front door. And I turned around and the sliding door began to open. Oh, no. And a man who I've never seen before peeks his head inside. And he's mid-30s, scruffy, maybe 5 '7", 150 pounds.

36:32So he's not a big guy. But when our eyes met, he didn't stop. He decided to fully step into the house and close the door behind him. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. In that moment, my guard was up, but also I was quite calm and just trying to put the pieces together. And his confidence was so high. It was like a neighbor maybe or something? Yeah, he was a neighbor. He knew the parents, but quickly reality set in. And I was like, this man does not belong in this house. So I stood up and I approached him. And instantly his response was, get down. I'm hiding from somebody. Shouldn't you get down, sir?

37:05If you're hiding, why would I hide? Wait, who's getting down? We both are. And before I could react any further and push him outside, he grabbed my wrist with the strongest grip I have ever felt in my life. And he just began dragging me through the house, trying to turn on all the lights. He was kind of on his hands and knees almost while still holding on to me, like hiding. And their main floor was quite large. So we were just doing circles through the kitchen, the living room, the dining room. And I was trying so hard to yank my arm away, but nothing. He would not budge. I'm imagining, too, you probably don't want to scream because you don't want to wake up the kids and get them involved in this.

37:45Yeah. So I'm trying to be quiet, but also figure out what's going on. He's looking through windows, turning off the lights, and he's very frantic. And with my free hand, I managed to grab my phone and start calling 911. Wow. Good job. They didn't answer me. No. They went to voicemail. What? They have voicemail at 911? Not a great job on their end. He noticed immediately and he snatched my phone and he threw it across the room. So now it was just me versus him. Oh my goodness. And he continued dragging me through the house. And he just kept repeating, like, I'm hiding from somebody. I'm hiding from somebody.

38:20And my mind was thinking three things. One, if he actually is hiding from somebody, I can't deal with two people, let alone if this person has a weapon, I'm done. Yeah. Two, he could not go upstairs to those children. He can't even know there's people upstairs. And three, I knew that if this were to go south, more south than it already is, that the parents were going to be home within the next 15, 20 minutes. So I just needed to fight, I guess, for that long. You're so level-headed. Did you grow up in a lot of chaos? I mean, I'm one of four. But you're like shockingly level-headed. You're 19 at the time.

38:50I'm impressed. Yeah, so he's dragged me to the front of the house. And like I said, it was December. So it was Christmas time. And they had a beautiful nine-foot tree with all their best ornaments, the best lights. It's like it was such a show tree for the front foyer. I want to be in this family. Like a good snack. They sound loaded. Feel so safe with Macy babysitting. Yeah. All of that shattered as he throws me into the tree. Oh, fuck. We're now wrestling. So I throw him. He throws me. He still has my arm. So I'm just one-handing it. What felt like an eternity was probably only a few seconds, but I knew that this wasn't supposed to be happening.

39:27And shock kind of set in that. I'm like, I got to get free. I got to get out of this. so we were wrestling so hard that he now threw me to the ground he was straddled on top of me he had been pinned down and I had no way out oh I looked over and I could see my phone ringing from an unknown number I'm like oh the police is calling me back I felt like it was kind of now or never to get into the situation and go grab my phone so I just started fighting back and I just began punching him as hard as I could in the head that wasn't really working because I was just going for the skull and not any part of his face that could possibly hurt him he wasn't even flinching I'm going to blame it on the angle.

40:01And now you know what your boyfriend deals with. You get that shirt over the back of the head and go to town. He's a fighter too. So maybe learn a few things. When that wasn't working, I remembered the only self-defense advice that I was ever given as a kid. So with all of my force, I kicked him three times where I knew it would hurt him the most. In his testicles? Yes. It worked. It worked. He collapsed immediately in so much pain, finally releasing his grip. So I went and I grabbed my phone. I called 911 back. What a surprise. They didn't answer me again. Jesus fucking Christ, Toronto 911. Get it together.

40:34Was your missed call 911? No, it was. I had like five missed calls from them. What if you left a message and you go like, hey, we're playing a little bit of phone tag here, but I do have a guy in the house that's trying to kill me. I probably bought myself nine seconds. You think you could get back to me in that window? Yeah, but I knew that they would call back eventually. So at this point, he was still hurtled in a ball and I was kind of in charge now. So I just began shouting back at him like, what are you doing? Why are you here? And I raised my phone and I took a photo of him. I knew that I needed evidence and I was aware that I was in shock and this was a crazy situation.

41:11And if he'd managed to get away that I would be no use in giving any description. So I made sure to get the photo. And at the time, it seemed like the smartest option. But 911 wanted to call me back. He now stumbled to the side door. And the side door led to the basement. So he was still trying to convince me to come hide with him, come to the basement with me. And obviously, I refused. I was like, I backed away. I refused to go near him. And the officer on the phone had told me to go to the front porch to see if I could hear sirens. And I did so that I knew that the cops were going to be there shortly.

41:43But when I went back to the side door, he was gone. And so the police arrived very quickly. They made up for their lackluster performance on the phone. Yeah. And four cars with their lights on, like rolled up onto the curb, guns drawn, shouting like, please put your arms up. Honestly, that was the most terrifying part. I've like never experienced that before. And I'd warned them over the phone. I said, I didn't know if he'd gone to the basement or if he'd gone out the side door. So they searched the basement, but he wasn't there. And shortly after the police showed up, I'd ran upstairs to check on the kids just to make sure everybody was still in their bed okay.

42:17And the oldest daughter was awake sitting in her bed. She said, what was all that noise? And I was like, oh, you know, there was just some people outside being really loud, but they all went home now. She goes, but there was a lot of yelling, like I'm scared. Where's mom and dad? And I said, they're going to be home so soon and give you all the huggies and the kissies, but you're safe, but you need to go asleep. So when they get home, they won't be mad at you. And that worked all the time. So we tucked her back into bed. I ran downstairs to see if the parents had come home and they returned shortly after that, stunned at what have happened to their house.

42:49My tree.

42:54As soon as I saw the mom, I just started bawling my eyes out and I was like, somebody broke in and attacked me, but everything's okay. Everyone's okay. When it all settled down, I gave the police a statement. I called my mom to come pick me up. Even though I had a car, I could not drive home. And she ended up sleeping with me in bed that night and they didn't end up catching him and he got away on foot that night. So I just went along with my life for a few weeks, but the story does not end there. Two weeks later, I got a call from the police saying that they'd captured this guy and they need me to come down and identify him.

43:24And I was like, yeah, of course, I'll be there tomorrow. That night, a news article came out with a mugshot of the guy and said that he'd been arrested and charged with sexual assault because he locked a woman in a bathroom with him. Whoa. And I don't know what else happened. But thanks to the photo I took, I was able to identify him, leading us to go to court six months after that. So we went to court. I testified. He testified. We were cross-examined. New information came up about the case. So we had to come back a whole two months later for another day of court. Long story short, he ended up being found not guilty.

44:00What? Due to what the court thought was insufficient proof. Oh, my Lord. He remains a free man and he is out in this world doing who knows what. He does have a criminal record that is three pages long and they still don't seem to take into account that he's not the best guy you want running around town, yet they still won't do anything about it. Did you get a sense when he was on trial and you were in the courtroom with him, did he seem mentally not with it or did he seem with it? He was not with it. he just wouldn't answer any question anybody was giving to him. And he just claimed the whole time that it wasn't him.

44:40It's not the best ending to the story. But I mean, I did learn a lot about myself that night. Fuck yeah, I'm so proud of you. Can I look now at these photos? Oh, yes. I took a photo of him. Oh boy. He looks like a creature from Lord of the Rings, if I'm being honest. It looks like you trapped him in one of those nets. Yeah. It also looks like he's holding a toy soldier or something. He's like reaching his hand out at me. What's the other photo we're looking at? So the other photo is my sweater and his handprint and how dirty he was. He is dirty, isn't he? It looks like he crawled out of a tunnel.

45:17And yeah, his hands would support that. I mean, see, that's terrifying. Have you had, I'm not going to be serious. Have you had like residual kind of PTSD? Are you like triple fucking checking the locks all the time? And do you have a Lady Remington in your purse? obviously it was traumatic but what are the odds it's going to happen to me again knock on wood but still like the door could have been locked and i could have prevented that from happening i do triple check the locks well you would think the logical part of your brain would be like right it happened once odds of it happening again are in the bazillions to one but i would say that your worldview changes as reality changes so it's like oh that happened once that can happen you pretty much don't think that can happen until it happens it was my biggest fear my house being broken into.

46:01So if I can overcome that, I think I'll be okay. Now, what about this big gorilla you're hooked up with? Does he not want to find this guy and pulverize him? We were doing long distance at the time. So I texted him that night and I was like, somebody broke into the house and assaulted me, but I'm okay. I'm safe. And that's all he's got. So then in the morning, he was freaking out and he was like driving to my house that morning. I mean, it all has passed now. It's all good, but he is a protector and I appreciate that. And it turns out you're a protector as well. You have four kids upstairs. Yeah.

46:36Well, Macy, that's a crazy story. I'm so glad you told it to us. Thank you for having me. Actually, the day after it happened, my mom was like, this would be such a good anonymous story. Oh, she did. Well, just immediately the next day. No, it was the first thing we thought. Oh, wow. I feel very flattered by that. Very thin silver lining, but I'll take it. Thank you, Macy. Thanks for everything you guys do. We appreciate it. Our pleasure. Bye, guys. Bye. Half of our babysitting stories involve people entering the house. I'm thinking about maybe double-checking my luck. Well, I love you. I'm so glad we got to do this together.

47:12Yeah, I love you too. That was fun. Thanks for inviting me. Do you want to sing a tune or something? I don't have a theme song. Oh. Okay, great. We don't have a song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're going to ask some random questions, and with the help of Armchairies, we'll get some suggestions. On the flyer, I'm Dish. On the flyer, I'm Dish. Enjoy. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

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