Armchair Anonymous: Bad Dates

24:14They're stuck. Right. Like, as soon as they enter the home, gates fall over. They can't get out and they're trapped. Yeah. And they start to gnaw on their legs. Maybe that was her home defense. I can see why she targeted you, if I can be honest. Why is that? Because you seem very nice. He would understand. Yeah, or just be gentle about it. I disagree. I feel like she would be into, like. A hell's angel. Yeah, because then they might. They could get down. Or they wouldn't think it was creepy. I don't think she has any idea that this ever even happened. I think, like you said, maybe it's multiple personality disorder or something.

24:49Something intense. Something otherworldly, some might say. Oh, wow. Metaphysical. Creepy. I love it. I'm sorry that happened to you, but it is a good story. At the time, hated it. You know, it's been quite a few years. It's hilarious. Well, kind of hilarious. I don't know. It's something. It's getting more hilarious as the time passes. And are you wetted up now or no? Nope. I am single at the moment. No more crazy bad dates like that. Not for long, I don't think. You could unblock her and then see how she's doing. Check back in. I think I'm going to pass on that one. Curiosity is definitely there, but not worth opening that can of worms.

25:26Give me her number. I'll sniff around. I'll see what's going on. Well, Mitch, it's a delight to meet you. I feel like I would definitely want you to treat me. Don't you have that sense? Oh, physical therapy-wise. I thought you meant to a dinner or something like that. Oh, no, I would pay. I'm happy to take you both out for dinner, too. If you need physical therapy, come see me. I'm happy to do it all. Next time we're in the northern fringes of Wisconsin. That's right. On our way to Marquette, Michigan. We'll let you know. You guys might not even know. My friends, Maddie and Jessica, are the ones that submitted my story for me.

25:56Oh. They're like huge armchairs. And then I wanted to know if either of you watched the TV show Survivor. No. No. I do. Oh, Rob does. Rob's saying he does. We have heard of it. Yes, we're very aware of Survivor. I just wanted to call out Jeff Probst, if that's okay. Oh, of course. Just because you love him so much? If I survived this date, obviously 26 days on Fiji would be nothing. So if he's looking for somebody. So it's a submission for Survivor. Yeah, I'll be submitting my actual submission. Oh, and it's like this a little extra. This can't hurt. I'm going to add it to our Peabody campaign we're launching, which nobody campaigns for a Peabody, but we are shamelessly.

26:32And so I'm going to also be calling for them to cast you on Survivor. That's right. Me too. Appreciate that more than you'd ever know. If you end up on Survivor, that's a season I'll watch. Rob, you'll tell us? Yeah, yeah. I'll let you know. Okay. Great. Get on there. We're rooting for you. And hey, Survivor, you'd get some free publicity because we would probably talk occasionally about checking in with Mitch. Oh, we definitely would. Thank you so much for talking to us. Yeah, thanks, Mitch. Yeah, no, thank you guys for taking the time. So nice to meet you both. All right. Take care. Bye. Hello.

26:59Oh, there couldn't be a name that has a softer spot in my heart. My father, my brother, my stepdad, all David. Well, thank you. My mom said she never met a David she didn't marry. I was named after my uncle, who I never met. He died tragically when my mom was pretty young, but I carried on his name. Oh, that's lovely. And where are you at, David? Camas, Washington, just down river from Hood River. Oh, lovely. We're at the mouth of the gorge. We actually spent time in Hood River over the weekend paddleboarding. So by Troutdale a bit? Yeah, basically right across the river. Okay, great. On the Washington side.

27:33So you had a bad date story. I've got more than one, but the one I submitted, I have to really give my wife the credit for this. She was not part of the date, but anytime she can make light of embarrassing moments of my life, she will do so. So she had me submit this story that happened about 15-ish years ago. She's my second wife. I was married before. Went through a divorce. I didn't date much before. Yeah, what age were you when you got divorced? I was 37, 38. Divorce kind of puts you in a different mind frame. And I got to working out and got to burn all that negative energy. I got in the best shape of my life and I was ready to roll.

28:14I started out on an app. It was Match.com back then. They didn't have all the other things. Started playing the field a little bit, checking things out, and was kind of hit and miss with a certain gal. I'll call her Sally. and finally got a chance to go on a couple of dates here and there. They weren't anything special. And then this was kind of the special date that things were moving forward a little bit. You thought you guys might have sex on this date, is what you're saying. That was very, very possible. I had already known that she had no kids for the night. Everything was working out in my favor.

28:46So I drove over to pick her up. There was a movie theater called Vinatopia. It was a wine bar, restaurant, and a movie theater all kind of combined. So we had a bunch of wine and we're enjoying the evening. We ate while we were watching whatever movie. I have no idea. And halfway through the movie, I'm getting the chills. Oh, my God. Thank you, David. I was hoping we'd get one of these. Yeah, I love it. And so I step out real quick. And this is a summer day. It's hot. I go to the car and grab a jacket, come back in. I put a jacket on. I'm shivering.

29:37As the movie finishes up, I don't even eat most of my food. She knows. I'm like, man, I'm freezing. I can't warm up. So, all right, let's head out. We start to walk out of the movie theater. And I said, hey, let me meet you at the car. Here's my keys. I'm going to hit the bathroom real quick. Oh, boy. I head to the bathroom. Luckily, I make it to the bathroom in time because the sweats now are coming. Everything in my body wants to come out. Oh. And it did. They should have had a seatbelt on that toilet. It was a wild ride, and I spent some time in there. You're in so much physical pain and agony, and it's so grueling, but also you have a time clock going in your head where like it's getting obvious.

30:22Oh shit, it's getting way more obvious. Just a layer of stress. Finally, after, I don't know how long I was in there. Wait, confirming it's just one end. Just one end. No stomach issues except the grumbles. It was all lower digestive for sure. So I get cleaned up. I feel a little better. I get halfway to the car. I run back to the bathroom. Same stall and everything. I'm sure the management was like, oh, he's back. I ruined that battle. It wasn't my finest moment. I was so terrified now because now I have to drive her home after I get cleaned up after the second round. She may be asleep in the car by the time you get there.

31:01I mean, this has probably been a 25-minute ordeal. Yeah, how long do you think it was? It was probably 20 or 30 minutes. Oh, my God. I come out, and she sees the agony in my face, sweat beads on the forehead, you name it. It was all there. You're not wearing your socks anymore. Yeah. I get to the car. She was really sweet. She just says, maybe I should drive. She gets in my car, drives herself back home. Just to further the emasculation, just make sure it's bulletproof. You know what? I'm happy she did that because I could feel so codependent, but it's an early date and I think it's really smart to be like, I don't know that I feel all that safe with this person who really is unwell driving.

31:41It was a good move on her part. And as we're driving home, I'm terrified I'm going to shit my pants and my own car seat. As we get closer to her house, she stops at a local grocery store, buys some soda water, some crackers for me. This is nice. Super sweet. Yeah, no condoms. Yes, no. She's like, I know you're not going to want to stop on your way home, so I'll take care of this. So she grabbed a few things, and then we get to her house, which was right around the corner, and I'm thankful I have not ruined the car or my pants. As we park, she gets out, So I open my door, I get out, and the lights go, ooh.

32:19Oh, my God. I do tunnel vision. I'm going to pass out. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, this is really bad. I am now terrified I'm going to pass out and crap my pants in her driveway. Yeah, the second you go out cold, you'll stop squeezing your sphincter, and it'll all come out. Oh, yeah. So I literally am on all fours as she comes around the car. So this is my finer moment, right? You are on a date with a giant weirdo. It couldn't have got worse. Well, it could have. I could have actually shit my pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now she says, hey, you can stay here. I'll set up the guest room. I had to. I couldn't drive.

32:57When I stood up, everything went fuzzy. But David, I can't think of anything worse. In that moment, I want to be alone so fucking bad. I want to go back to my house and make a bunch of noises and keep my pants off in between trips. I got to get weird. Yeah, there's no way to control the noise. No. Yeah, no. You could try to hold tissue paper up to it, but that's not going to do it. Can you imagine trying to do that? I've tried to do that. An explosive diarrhea. No, but I've been in a girl's apartment and then went to pee, and I had to fart really bad and then sit down and put toilet paper on my anus while I fart so it doesn't make any noise.

33:31Yeah, it works pretty good. Okay, it's not going to work for explosive diarrhea. No, no, no, no, no. I don't advise it. You're just going to get so much all over your hands. David's situation would call us for a much different thing. Dax, that actually does work when you have to fart, 100%. We're all animals trying to act civil. It's so funny. We're in each other's dwellings having a fart. This woman's so nice. I wonder if she has a little bit of a sick kink. Sounds like it could be. No, I don't think she does. Absolutely not, actually. Otherwise, I was right in her wheelhouse. Yeah, you were.

34:01Yeah, you would have had your clothes on. She'd be like, let's get all these clothes on. She's like, let's just get you inside. So I went to bed. That lasted only a few minutes before I was up and into the bathroom. When I go into the bathroom the first time, I realized this is her kid's bathroom. Everything I have, I know, is contagious. I'm pretty certain it was the norovirus. Oh. Yeah. Was going around like crazy back then. And I work at a fire department. So they were in nursing homes and all that stuff all the time. So pretty certain I had that problem going on. And now I'm like, oh, man, I'm going to get her kids sick.

34:34Yeah. So I ended up sleeping on the bathroom floor more than the bed. This is the worst fucking date I've heard. Yeah, this is really bad. It was not pleasant. The fact that you had to be at her house the whole night is like the most excruciating detail. And she had all white linen, of course, and white rugs in her bathroom. And I'm going, there's no way I'm coming out of this with these rugs being white. Oh, no. I must have went to the bathroom 20, 30 more times that night. And I cleaned the bathroom every time with wet wipes that were in the cupboard. I'd wipe everything down. I felt so bad that I was going to ruin her children for the next two weeks.

35:18And the next morning, as she got up, she was going to work. And she said, stay as long as you need and leave when you feel like it. And there's no coming back from that, right? Like two days later, you're healthy. I had this for two weeks. I lost a bunch of weight. I felt awful. I started thinking I had something else going on. So I was going to the doctor. I'm like, something's wrong with me. Yeah. But I hope you'll laugh at this joke, but you're a firefighter. So you know exactly how to get out of work for a long, long time, right? Oh yeah, absolutely. Technically it could have been an on the job injury.

35:52Pick up that virus on the job and you're good for a couple months. Oh yeah, absolutely. That's so rough. It wasn't pleasant, but like I said, I have a lot of bad date stories, but this one I think really was the shittiest. Did you not have the heart to even pursue her anymore or did she kind of put the brakes on? We went out several times. Oh, okay. We did finally seal the deal and had a short relationship, but we had a nice time. This whole story, my wife loves. She's so thankful that somewhere out there in the world, someone probably refers to me as Diarrhea Dave. Yeah. Do you guys mind if I bring my wife?

36:31Please. We'd love to meet her. Hello. Hello. You have an armchair and dangerous shirt. Did you go to Seattle? Portland. Oh, that makes more sense. Yeah, you're in Washington, but you're closer to Portland. Diarrhea Dave. Diarrhea Dave. When he told it to me we were dating, I remember it exactly because I was laying in bed and I was crying. I was laughing so hard. And he's like, you want to hear about this date with this other girl? I'm like, this is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. That has prompted me to tell her a lot of bad date stories. You opened the door. This diarrhea story, we've heard so many on your show.

37:07Yeah. And this would just seem like it fit right in. Yeah, the fact that you didn't do it in a public grocery store or in the freezer. It's tame in comparison. It's very classy, actually. The freezer one, that story got us thinking about a trip to Mexico we had. Well, it's lovely meeting you guys. You seem so fun. And I feel like you're in the right spot in the country. We are. It's beautiful here right now. It's so nice meeting both of you. You have a great rest of your summer. Yes. Thanks so much. All right. Bye, guys. Hello. Can you hear us? Uh-oh. Not you. Uh-oh. Hi, guys. Oh, yay. Who do people tell you you look like?

37:46Well, first of all, let's get a fake name on the books for you. You can call me whatever you want. It doesn't matter. Okay. I'm going to call you Florence. Oh, I love that. And when you first signed on, I thought she looks like Keira Sedgwick. I could see that. I love her. I do, too. I love her. Where are you at, Florence? I'm actually in Nashville. Oh, my God. You should come over and we'll do this in the studio. I know. When she said Central Time, I wondered. And are you from Nashville or did you move here? I moved here about almost 15 years ago. From the north? Close to here, but not too close.

38:20I don't want to say because that's where my story is from. Sure. We understand. And the fact that you're being so protective is encouraging. Yeah. We like the fake name and no location. It means you might have killed this date. please tell us about it. It did happen about 18 years ago, I think in 2007. I remember I did not have an iPhone. I had a BlackBerry. How much do you miss the BlackBerry? I liked it. I could type like 120 words a minute on that fucking thing. Wow, that keyboard was awesome. There was no, you know, find my friends, no Google mapping or any kind of mapping. So I went into this business and met this man, we'll call Ted, great guy.

38:57He actually owned the business and ended up really kind of chit-chatting for quite a while. Was in his office meeting all his employees and stuff. He was just a nice guy. And we found out we had a couple of mutual friends, a couple of guy friends. I thought, okay, that's nice. He asked me if I wanted to go to lunch. Okay, sure, I'll go to lunch. And in the meantime, I called one of his friends because I Googled and I knew nothing about this man. And I was a single mom, had kids, and I just tried to be a little bit cautious. I asked one of my guy friends and he's like, oh, he's a great guy. He's a little bit of a playboy, but just know that.

39:27Okay, we can live with that. We met for lunch, had a nice lunch, and he talked and talked, and he was quite fond of this property, very proud of it, and he wanted me to see his property at some point. So he ended up asking me then to go to dinner, but he explained that he had like 200-plus acres. He had an airplane, airplane hanger, a runway on the property. This is going to turn into a pretty woman or a indecent proposal. Is this Kev Turner? Theodore Turner? I ended up going to meet him for dinner. I didn't let him pick me up because, again, I have kids at home and I just don't do that. I said, I'll meet you.

40:00And he's like, you'll never find my house, but I'll meet you on the main drag at this gas station. And then you can follow me in. OK, perfect. And then we'll go from there. So that's what I did. And as I was following him, I'm kind of writing on the console. I had a little piece of paper and I'm like third right at the fire hydrant. There weren't even street signs. And were you writing that down to tell law enforcement or to find your way back? No, I just knew I would probably struggle getting out. Yeah. OK, great. When I got there, we parked at his house and he's like, you know, there's a storm rolling in.

40:30I said, yeah, I know. I saw that. That's too bad. And he goes, well, let's hurry up and we'll go do a quick tour and then we'll go to dinner. Okay. He said, just come in the truck and I'll take you over to the hangar. So I jump in his truck and we go over and he has mules and four wheelers and that kind of stuff. So I jump in a four wheeler. But in the meantime, I put my car keys in the cup holder of the truck because I didn't want to tour 200 acres and lose my keys. So, Florence, really quick, I'm going to pause you to say that I wish I could hire you because you're already the most meticulous.

41:00The fact that you were taking notes on the ride and also you're like 25 steps ahead. Okay, in a half hour, I'll be done with that tour. I'll want my keys. I mean, you're on it. You're thinking ahead. Yeah, you're a thorough son of a gun. I am. We're now in the four-wheeler and we're starting to tour all his property. And it was beautiful. It was very peaceful. Commenting on how he trims the trails back and he's driving and we're like up on a bluff and we're overlooking. He's like, I own all this land. And then he keeps going. And then all of a sudden he stops and turned the four-wheeler off. He's like, what do you hear?

41:30And I said, nothing. It's wonderful. I get why you love it here so much. It's so serene. And this is where it kind of turns. He put his hand like on the back of his head and leaned up against the door, had his tongue on the inside cheek of his mouth. And he's pointing to the property, shaking his head. And he goes, you know, they'd never find you out here. Stop it. What? No. Did he think that was a funny joke? No, you don't know. And I'm just kind of looking at him and I'm trying to process it. And they're like, is this danger? Is this comedy? What is happening? I honestly couldn't even think.

42:07And I didn't know what to do other than to kind of act dumb and stall. And I'm like, what? And he said, something happened to you out here. Nobody would ever find you. He did not change anything. He was completely serious. and looking at me almost like, you stupid woman. No. There was something that had turned in his demeanor. Oh my God. It was so scary. Every alarm inside of me was going off. And I thought, you know what? This is so sad. I'm going to die right here, right now. And I've got kids at home and I didn't know what to do. And so I just thought I'm going to make him fight for it. I kind of hit him with my elbow a couple of times, very playfully.

42:48And I mean, what are you gonna say? I just said, okay, I'll give you that. And I got right in his face. We were nose to nose. And I said, but they'll sure as hell find you. Cause you know, my girlfriends know I'm with you. Yes. Honestly, nobody knew I was with him. Yeah. And then I said, surely he saw me talking on the phone on the way in, which I wasn't. And I just prayed he wasn't like watching what I was doing as he was driving. Cause I don't know. That's just a weird thing to say to somebody. That's not funny. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A woman out in the middle of nowhere. How's she going to find the humor in that?

43:21He started the four-wheeler back up. And I thought, oh, praise the Lord. He started going. And then again, I'm thinking, I'm going to get killed. This is not a good situation, but he is going to work for it. He is not going to see me sweat. And I just said, oh, and by the way, don't think I'm not looking for bodies on the side of the trail here. And he did not flinch. He's holding a wheel, staring straight ahead. And he goes, actually, you should be looking for a freshly overturned soil. And he just kept driving. And I'm like, who says that unless you just dug a grave of some sort? We keep going.

43:54And I'm just chit-chatting. I'm acting like there is nothing going on. You're sending signals I'm not scared of you. Yeah. Which are smart. Confidence. That is smart. That's what kicked in. This is about a 15-minute ride at the end. We get back and we pull into where his house was. And I thought, oh, my gosh. Okay. It's getting better. Though I knew I didn't have my car keys. And I didn't want him to know that. And I didn't think he was processing everything. So he's like, come on in, let's have a glass of wine. We were going to go to dinner. And he did say the restaurant stopped serving at like 830 or something.

44:26And now it's like seven. And I'm thinking, I'm not getting in a car with you. I'm not going anywhere with you, but I don't know what to do. So I'm just stalling. So I follow him into the house. I never let him get behind me. He's always in front of me. I'm looking like, okay, to the left, there's fireplace utensils. To the right, there's a big vase. and I'm watching him walk and something with his lower back wasn't right. So I'm like, go for the lower back. What do you do? He's like, come on, I'll pour some wine. And you know, I'm watching very closely and he's pouring in both glasses. And I'm thinking, clearly I'm not going to drink any because I don't know if it's laced with something.

44:57He downed his first glass really quickly, which told me he was nervous, right? Because he's going to murder me. Oh my God. And he got up to get more and he's like, why aren't you drinking your wine? I said, oh, I'm just really enjoying the conversation. I don't know what to say. I'm just watching the clock. I'm just keeping him talking. He pours another glass of wine. He drank it relatively quickly, but he's talking and talking. It was about 7.10 and he's like, we need to get going to the restaurant. And I said, actually, I'm just having so much fun right here with you, listening to all your stories.

45:28I'm content staying here if you are, because I'm not going anywhere with him. I'm not getting in a car and I don't know what to do. I'm just trying to stall and then I can maybe get out of there. It was right at 8.30. I realized I didn't even have my phone on me. And I said, Oh my gosh, I need to get my phone. And I just realized I left it in my car. That's so unusual of me because in case my kids needed to reach me. And so I stood up as I'm walking out, I'm just about to go out the door. I said, I just need my phone in case my kids need to reach me. And then he goes, and in case you get murdered.

45:58What the fuck is going on? I just, I feel like I heard nothing. I just kept going. I got in my car. And now of course I'm like shaking, like, what do I do? What do I do? But you didn't have your keys. Right. Now you got to decide whether you're going to call 911 or not, which has got to be hard. And I don't even really know where I am. I'm really back in the boonies. It's not like I can tell them how to get to me. So I'm like, all right, you can do this. Go back in for another 30 minutes, just stall and then get out of there. And that's kind of what I did. I went back in and at 15 minutes, I said, I need to be leaving soon.

46:32And he's like, what? You're not leaving. And I said, not just yet, but in a little bit. And I said, my daughter's on a date. I don't even know where this stuff came from. And I said, I promised her since I wasn't there when the young man picked her up that I would be there when she got home. So, you know, I have to do that. I gave it another 15 minutes and I said, oh, I really got to get going. And he was not happy, but I said, you know, I need to do the right thing. And I waited till we got all the way out to my car because I could tell he did not know I didn't have my keys. And he at this point had three glasses of wine.

47:01So I felt much better. Like I did feel I could probably beat him if I had to. And right when we got to my car, I said, Oh, my keys are in your truck. And he goes, Oh, here, just jump in the four wheel. We'll go over and get it. And he's driving over there again. It's pitch black. I don't even know where the heck it is. I jumped out of the four wheeler, open the car, grab my keys, got back in and like 1.5 seconds. Cause I thought he's going to leave me. I'll never be able to find my way out of here again. Anyway, he took me back and I got out and And it was scary. And thank God I wrote those directions down because I never would have found my way out of the neighborhood.

47:36Wow. Did he ask you out again? So he called me on my way out after about 10 minutes. He's like, hey, I'm just checking. Did you find your way out? Because I know he thought I didn't. I said, oh, yeah, I'm by. And I gave him a marking. I just passed the big cowboy hat. Yeah, whatever. And he goes, what? You're there already? The only way I could have been there is if I was flying. I was shaking so bad. I remember I was doing 90. I was like, please pull me over. Anyway, I made it home. He did call a couple of times. I just never answered his call. No, you didn't need to. That's so weird. When I got home, my daughter, she was there.

48:11She was about, I think 15 at the time. And she said, how was your date? And I said, nah, not so good. And she goes, mom, never seen you like this. And I was like, do I tell her? Do I not? And I thought, you know what? This is a life lesson. Yeah. And you want her to tell you if something like this happens? 100%. So I did share it with her and she was freaked out. It was one of the worst nights. It really was life-changing. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, you get a sense of like, oh gosh, it can go that bad. So quickly, and especially mutual friends. And I always thought, I'll never ask another man about another man.

48:43Only ask the women. That's true. Yeah, it's like you tell your kids, find a woman if you're lost. Find a mom first. But also, this guy seems kind of like a big shot, obviously, as a plane and stuff. So is he like known? He had his own business. He was on the board of a bank. It was so bizarre. This is so strange. Nothing I ever thought I would go through, but I made it. You made it. Oh, yeah. I can only imagine how good you felt when you were driving in your car. It was started and aimed out of the place. Yeah, but then it's like, what if he pops up in the back seat?

49:16Or you get home and you open the front door and he's sitting on it. Yeah. Oh, my God. I've never watched scary movies. We watched one last night, so it was a little fresh on Monica's brain. She's been talking about ghosts a lot today. Oh, well, I'm so glad you're okay. That's harrowing. Fuck. Ugh. That's a long time to be in a situation you don't want to be in. And I like to tell this story because I really honestly hope other people will learn from my mistake and don't put themselves in such a vulnerable situation. I felt it was safe. It technically was almost like a second or third date, but no.

49:50Yeah, you have mutual friends. And you did do a lot. You didn't let him come pick you up. You did a lot of things right. I mean, I don't know what else really you could have done. It was quite surprising to me. Do you think he's killed anyone? Do you monitor at all? I haven't, but I've thought about it. I really do believe there were bodies buried on that property. For him to say, looking for freshly overturned soil. That's so weird. And he flies from his property. So he had a house in Florida. And if he left Florida with somebody. How would anyone know? Never. Oh, God. Icky, icky, icky. You're so icky.

50:25Florence, boy, I'm really glad that worked out. And it sounds like you did as fucking good as a human could do in that situation. It's funny because if you ask any of my friends, they all would have said, you are the last person we would ever think put yourself in this situation that that would have happened to. But I often have wondered if I had reacted really fearful and scared, would it have had a different outcome? Yeah. Totally. This is a good cautionary tale. Be careful out there, everybody. Be careful. Yeah, do your Google searches, ask your friends. Oh, man. Well, it's lovely meeting you.

50:56I'm delighted we're in the same town. I live very close to your favorite steakhouse. Oh, I went last week. I've got about 16 bottles of the blue cheese dressing in my house. Oh, my God. Does the guy own the restaurant? No. Different town. Well, lovely meeting you. I hope I bump into you in real life. I do, too. You guys take care, and thank you so much. Of course. All right, take care. Oh, boy, oh, boy. I understand her friends saying that because she's very type A and meticulous. And you think like, well, she's not sloppy about anything. That's what's scary. It's like even that person can find themselves in this type of situation.

51:33I hate to say it, but everything's an illusion of everything, right? No one's more or less likely to end up in a fucked up situation. I mean, that's not true. I don't think that's true. If you're doing drugs and drinking. If you're being very reckless. Yeah, yeah, I take it all back. That was a bad last point. Will you make a great last point to weigh in the plane? No, you try. Make another great point? Yeah. I mean truly A penny saved Is a penny earned Yeah that is true Right That is a really good I mean it's not Of course Because it was already Your penny Oh my god Now you need a new But it's still Words to live by And I stand by them And I think that was Benjamin Franklin Alright love you I love you Do you want to sing A tune or something We don't have a theme song Oh Okay great We don't have A theme song For this new show So here I go, go, go.

52:22We're going to ask some random questions. And with the help of Armchairies, we'll get some suggestions. On the flyer, Rindish. On the flyer, Rindish. Enjoy. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app. or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.