Armchair Anonymous: Bad Dates II

25:52He's chugging the champagne. What? Is he sharing? Hold on. Are the pictures of you or the skyline? No, the skyline. Okay, but he was really getting after that. Hold this lens. Have you become his assistant? Yeah, well, the whole energy I couldn't read if he was trying to be cute and flirty, if it was actually kind of dangerous. And then it turns when he's jumping up onto these like stone columns, jumping up and down, asking me to join. I'm saying that I'm not really into that. And he's like, you're so lame. You're so boring. And he starts yelling at me. So I then come to later realize that where we were was in Zilker Park.

26:32Oh, OK. A bit of a hidden part. And there's lots of trails and paths. And he said, let's keep going into the trail. like a night hike is so fun. That's like peak Austin. Let's go on a night hike. And that is where I draw the line. I said, you know, no, I'm not doing that. Can we please leave? So as we're talking, kind of arguing, he grabs my phone out of my hand and he says the flashlight on my phone is broken. I need to take yours to go on my hike. What? What? Then he's gone with my phone. Oh my gosh. So I'm very afraid. I'm like, do I go back and try to knock on some doors in this neighborhood?

27:12What do I do? I have no phone. I have no way to get out of here. And then this whole thing to me is bizarre. Things just keep happening. These boys come out and they're like teenage boys smoking pot super high. So I'm asking them for help. I'm asking like, can I use your phone to get an Uber? They're out of it. They're like making fun of me. They're not helpful. This is horrible. It's like a madhouse all of a sudden. They did not help me. It was a little bit of time. I was just kind of like in a freeze mode. So he comes back and he's like, okay, let's go to the bars. So also he did go on a night hike by himself.

27:44Like what is going on? I'm not sure if he's on some other sort of substance. And then I was like, no, I'd really like to go home. That's when, again, I make second mistake of the night and tell him where I live. Because I, again, wasn't problem solving enough. I just wanted to get home. Yeah. Yeah. Frontal Lobo wasn't online. You're like in kind of survival. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was trying to figure out how to get home and get out of the situation. So we get back to my apartment and I was like, had a good time. We'll hang out later trying to appease the situation. He's like, no, I'm a gentleman and I walk all my dates to the door.

28:20Oh, I hate this guy so much. I can't stand him. I was like, no, I'm fine. I don't need to be walked to the door. He was like, no, I insist. So he's then walks to my door and he was like, give me a kiss. Good night. Be on my way. So I did. It was gross. And then I go to open my door and he follows me. He forces his way in behind me. You know, I was freaking out. I was in danger. And I was like, can you leave? I'm tired, please. I want to go to bed. We'll hang out next weekend. And he just said that he was drunk and needed to sleep it off on the couch. So he went and did that. He passed out on my couch.

28:58And I go and I lock myself in my bedroom. And I'm so embarrassed that I let it get to this point that I didn't want to call anyone. Oh, man. This is so unfair. This is like when people don't report getting scammed. Yeah. There's like shame, even though there should absolutely not be. Yeah. So and I didn't really know a lot of people. I have close friends. I was like, do I call the police? I ended up just staying up all night in my room alert. And he eventually left. Like I heard the door closed and I just like got up and locked the door. Oh my God. Oh my gosh. And the craziest thing to me, the whole situation is the next day he texts me like I had an awesome time.

29:41Let's hang out again. That was a dream date for him. Take a girl up to the top of a mountain and leave her for a while. Take her phone. And then force her to let you pass out on her couch and leave in the middle of the night. And kiss. Yeah, that sounds like a great date. Don't understand how we didn't see that like any of those things could have made me feel uncomfortable and then would want to go on another date with me. But I'm glad that it didn't end a different way. How did you respond to him? Did you? I didn't. I blocked him. Oh, I'm so sorry. Can you write reviews on these dating apps? Oh, I don't think so.

30:14You should be able to. You should be able to be like, hey, for what it's worth, this was my date with Michael. Maybe you could reach out to the dating app itself and say like, hey, this person really is kind of predatorial, just flagging for the site. You know why you can't have that system? Because so many people are scorned that they weren't liked back, that everyone would be bagging on each other who didn't get picked. You mean if it was just like open comments? Exactly. And yeah, I have had many more. Not a fan of the apps. Yeah. Were you done with apps at that point or did you give them another go?

30:49Oh, I kept going at that. Good, good, good, good. Yeah, you got it. Against my better judgment. Have you had some good dates, though, on the apps? Oh, yeah. A few. Wow. Well, I'm sorry that happened. That's really shitty. I'm glad you made it out of Zilker Park alive. Me too. All right. Of all these places you live, what's your favorite? Honestly, Austin's probably up there. I lived in New York for a bit. I liked upstate New York, but Austin was just so fun. I'm a huge live music fan. So I went to shows constantly. Fun. Can I give a quick shout out? Yeah, yeah, of course. Just to my sister, Laura.

31:22She's an Armchair. She was listening to the Marcus Mumford episode when I told her that I was going to be on this. That's a good one. And a random question. I listened to all of the Armchair Anonymous and there's like a little outro song that you sing at the end. And I can't figure out what you're saying. Oh. Has this been asked before? Yes, it has. It has. Yes, but tough. The line you're most confused by is I say, on the fly, I rhymedish. I think that's the one that people are, what the fuck did he say? I think rhymedish, people are confused about. On the fly, I rhymedish. Because it's not the most well-known word, although it exists in the Webster Dictionary.

32:01Rhymedish? Rhymedish. Does it? It doesn't. It doesn't. It's just that it was almost a rhyme and it wasn't a rhyme. So I made it. Yeah, rhymedish. That helps me every time I make something else up. On the fly, I rhyme-ish. I'm actually glad you asked that question out loud because I've answered it in the comments a bunch, but I'm presuming only one in a hundred people that are confused are going to take the time to write a comment. You're right. You haven't written a comment, right? You're just like, fuck it. If I bump into them, I'll ask. I even looked to see if it would come up on the words on Spotify.

32:36It's gotten that deep. It says playing music. I'm flattered they've even labeled it music Glass half full Alright well it's lovely meeting you Grace So nice meeting you thanks so much Alright good luck in Seattle I'm beating myself up right now Because I knew I needed Kleenexes in a few different locations Hi Tabitha can you hear us? I can hear you Okay you're just in time So I ran out of Kleenexes in a bunch of different areas of my life And I ordered like an 18 pack And I walked around everywhere and I put extras upstairs and in the gym under my nightstand. And I forgot the studio main area.

33:15And probably the place I think about it most that I need. Anything you want to complain about that has no impact on the world? The horrors are already enough. The world is enough. Tabitha, where are you other than your closet? I'm in Louisville, Kentucky. Oh, I don't know if you've heard me say this, but I have a new fascination with Kentucky and Louisville. It's the best. I'm from Southern California and I think Louisville is better. Whoa. Yeah. That is a hot take. And did a lover bring you there or did you get interested in Louisville some other way? Work brought me to Louisville. And it's so green, right?

33:51That's what I like about it. It's very green. They have so many independent restaurants, more per capita than any other city. It's a cool place. I believe it. That is cool. I think it's the next Nashville. Go buy now, Monica. I already bought it. Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy. Get here, get here, get here. Where in Southern California were you? Laguna. Grew up there. Were you on Laguna Beach? Were you on the hills? No. I'm sorry. And that is a real sore spot for me. I understand. It must have been so exciting, though, to have that show and be from there. So exciting. But also, I wasn't from the cool high school.

34:24It sounds like Veronica Mars a little bit. Did you watch Veronica Mars? Absolutely. And it definitely gave vibes. What was the high school they went to? Neptune. Yeah. Neptune High. Yeah. A lot of haps. Great show. It's on Netflix currently. Definitely, if anyone wants to check it out, if they missed it. Little plug. That's right. My girls are binging it, but they've diverted in what episode they're on. So no matter what room I'm in, some episode is playing. It's real life or an episode. I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so you had a bad date story. So this bad date took place back in the time of man versus food kind of taking over the world.

35:00Everybody had like a sandwich challenge or a spicy challenge at every restaurant. Oh, okay. Okay, yes. All right. I was dating this guy for a couple months and he says to me, I know we were going to go out, but my family wants to do a spicy wing challenge that they saw on the TV show Man Versus Food. Should we just kind of like put it all together and you meet the parents and we go on this date and I'm cool, chill lady. So I'm like, let's go. That sounds fun, actually. That'll break the ice. So we get there and my date, his name is Andrew. His dad and his brother are like, Like, we're going to do this spicy wing challenge.

35:35And it's so spicy you have to wear gloves because it will burn your hands. And it's like five wings. If you can finish all five, you win a t-shirt. Okay. It's hot ones. Yeah. If you throw up at the table, a hundred bucks, like all these rules, they have to sign a waiver.

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38:31There's no one like you, and there never will be. From the producer of Bohemian Rhapsody, there are many legends, but there is only one. Michael, rated PG-13, in theaters April 24.

38:54We sit down. I'm like, are you going to do it? And he's like, no, no, no, I would never. So his dad and his brother get into it, And it becomes immediately apparent that they are not OK. They're just like burning the eyes, water the nose. And they both run out of the restaurant. In my head, they did this at their house. They printed up their own T-shirt and they had to pay$100. Wow. I thought they were like fun and doing a big thing. Yeah. OK. This is a turnkey experience. We are out in public in like downtown Richmond, Virginia in a restaurant. So they run out of the restaurant and they're throwing up in the alley behind the restaurant.

39:32OK, because it's so spicy. Wait, Tabitha, can I just say, if you're a tenant in this complex, you've opened up a business and you put your whole life into it, invested every last penny. And then every five to 10 minutes, people come out and throw up next to it. I mean, what is one to do? I call police and like they can't serve those wings. I know this is a recurrent thing because she told us when we sat down, by the way, if you're going to throw up, like, go to that spot. So there's like a vomit spot. Vomitorium. Okay, I'm sorry. So the dad, the brother, they run out. They're booting in the alley.

40:04Yes. Okay. So my date is like, I'm going to go help. He grabs a bunch of napkins. He heads out there. He goes across the street and buys a gallon of milk. He's like cleaning their faces while they're puking, getting the hot sauce off of them, giving them some milk. And he comes in and he's like, guys, we got to go. Dinner's over. We're done. So we walk out. So as we're leaving, he goes, actually, I'm going to run in and use the bathroom real quick. So he goes in and we're all just standing out there waiting. And he walks out of the bathroom. I'm standing there and I see his face and it goes white.

40:37And then there's this look of terror on his face. And he goes, there's hot sauce on my dick. Oh, starts panicking, just full scale panic. And he runs into the alley and he's like, Tabitha, grab the milk. Oh, is that how it works? I don't think so. I'm like following him into the alley and he's like, it's burning. It's burning. And I guess when he went to the bathroom, he hadn't washed hands pre. Yeah. So the hot sauce is all over burning and he's got his penis out and I'm trying to splash the milk in the alley. But we're also we're in an alley in like a city. The tenants next door who just watched the father's son booting, they were already complaining And then they glance out the window again.

41:21And now a guy's getting milk splashed all over his dick and balls. And you'd be like, I'm going to sue. His mom and dad are so nice. But they're like, don't sleep in the same room until you're married. Nice. Not wiener out in an alley. Nice. Right. So this is a mortifying situation for all parties. At some point, the brother's like, where did Andrew go? And I hear his mother like, I think she's in the alley putting milk on his wiener. And I'm like, oh my God, just kill me now. And so we're like, are you okay? And he's like, I'm fine. I just want to leave. I'm done with this day. So we get in the car and as we're driving, we're very lucky.

41:59We had ridden with his mom and dad. So his mom and dad are in the front seat. We're in the back. And he goes, dad, dad, pull over. You got to pull over. I'm going to shit my pants. So much is going on. The spice must have like traveled through his urethra. I think more of like an external taint to butthole situation. Oh. So it started like to activate. He really got handsy when he went pee. He's like rubbed his perineum. Maybe he's allergic to dairy and the milk splash got up his butt. I was thinking like, is it a milk thing? Because he had whipped it out in the alley and that got more sauce. Guys, I think it's unrelated, but continue.

42:39Or I don't know if it's just like the extreme pain had caused a... Contraction. I don't even know. So his dad like goes into a McDonald's parking lot, pulls over. He jumps out of the car and he turns around to his mom and he says, Mom, I need you to go into McDonald's and get me a milkshake. And she's like, what flavor? And he's like, I'm going to put my wiener in it. Wait. Hold on. What happened to the diarrhea? We pull into McDonald's so he can run into the bathroom. OK, so he's peeling off to go to the toilet. He does. That makes more sense. I thought he's just like got in the parking lot, hanging out.

43:15Mom, go get me a milkshake. He's sprinting. She's like, what flavor? Like, she's so confused. And he's like, no, it's for my wiener. She gets out of the car and leaves. And I am sitting in the car with his dad, who was just vomiting in the street, not 20 minutes prior. The longest 10 minutes of my entire life, as I'm sitting quietly, waiting for them to come back. Finally, she comes back. And then he comes back. And she turns around and she's like, I got you a large hands in the milkshake. And that is how we drove home from the state. Mom and dad in the front eyes, straightforward. No one making a sound.

43:53Me and this guy in the back seat and him with his whole wiener inside a milkshake. Oh, my. That is so perverse. Like, I'm going to put my dick in a milkshake. Yeah, it's very the word odd for me. Yeah, it's like Adam's family odd. I just don't know if it had been my first thought, but I also don't have a penis. It seems like he just liked what the milk felt like, and he's like, I want more of that. He became insatiable. I'm going to pretend like I have diarrhea. Insatiable dairy kink. What I will say is that I, in fact, not only was a bad date, but it also doubled as the first time I met my in-laws.

44:30Wait, you married him? I married the milkshake.

44:38So he does not have a dairy can confirm. Okay, there was no repeat. And he's a smart man? You married him. He's a lawyer. Because I don't think either of those techniques do anything. The drinking of the milk. Yes, that's a thing. But does it translate? And drinking of the milk doesn't do anything. Just to be clear, as someone who's been on these challenges many, many, they can give you milk in the same way they give you water. but it doesn't neutralize capsaicin. Like it's on you. That's that. It can't reverse what happened. It's kind of like pouring something on a big cut, thinking the cut's going to close.

45:12No, it's not going to fix it completely, but it does reduce the intensity. Through dissipation. That's all I'm saying is I do think it dissipates it, but so would water or orange juice. I don't think the milk has anything magic on it. We're going to have to look it up. We're going to have to do a fact check on this episode. Yeah. And how long before the penal discomfort subsided? Was it over when you got home after a bit? No. Oh, no, no, no, no. It was hours and hours. For both the dad and the brother mouth-wise and then also wiener-wise, all three were done for a while. And do you have any idea how long this restaurant stayed in business?

45:45I have no idea. I probably should go check. I can't imagine they're still doing this very destructive challenge. What if it's like a very busy, populated street with businesses, except for there was like four vacant buildings on either side of this restaurant. People are like, why can't they rent those out? Well, I thought you guys would enjoy a wiener. We had some poop and we had ending up together. Love story style. It checks nearly all the boxes. How long ago was that? About 15 years ago. Wow. Congratulations. Have the brother and the dad done any other bozo stuff since then? Because that feels like a pattern.

46:21Maybe they were in. I feel like they've ended up. I feel like you vomited an alley and that really shuts it down. Sure. This isn't our thing. They like wanted to go rogue. Yeah. We want to be cool. And they're like, we're not. We flew too close to the sun. Sure. We're done. Okay. Well, Tabitha, that was very exciting. So nice to meet you. Nice to meet you guys. Have a good one. Bye. Do you think you're going to try it? Fuck a milkshake? I learned my lesson with Jell-O. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I'll ever go back. Although, who knows? When I'm really old, I'll probably start doing weird stuff again.

46:54You now actually just quit dairy, so you can't. Yeah, although I had a little lapse. I had some lasagna. External use of dairy, not internal. Oh, smart. Yeah, I probably wouldn't get. I know, but according to him, it's all the same. Well, yeah, I won't get as handsy, I guess, as he did. I don't think the diarrhea was related to the. Well, it could have been his body just got really like agitated. Can you hear us? Yeah, I can hear you. Are you a Verstappen fan, first and foremost? No. What? You guys are going to fight. What? Why do you have a Red Bull car behind you then? I just like the design.

47:34Oh, okay. I'm a designer, so anything that looks pretty. I'm into toys, and that toy is so well built. It's unbelievable. You want to get one. They're fantastic. You are a motorcycle rider or no? Oh, big time. I'm in the motorcycle industry. Oh, I was at the track yesterday. I want to impress you. Where? Willow Springs Streets. Yeah, I haven't done that one. I've done Willow Springs. I used to hang out with Keith Code with the California Superbike School. Sure, sure, sure. Where are you at currently? Topanga. Oh, that's what that nice background is. I live in one of the little wooden cabins. That's why I'm not in the closet, because the house is the same size as a closet.

48:13And where are you from originally? UK. But Santa Barbara mainly. My wife's a Santa Barbara, and so we lived in Santa Barbara for many years, and then we moved down here for work. Last motorcycle question. You seem to be leaning against, I can barely see it, but are you on a flat track bike? What are you leaning on there? In a picture behind you. On the picture over your shoulder. That's a trials bike. I used to ride trials and motocross at national level in the UK. Quick story on that. My mother wanted portraits of the family when we were like 20 years old and I wouldn't do it. My sister had one, my mother had one, my father had one.

48:47I wouldn't do it unless it was on my trials bike. that's the cheesiest thing that i own my wife insists on putting it on the wall i just put it in the attic i love it my eyes drawn to it okay so sam you had a bad date or maybe you've met many i've had a few but this one sticks out when i met my new wife we obviously shared all the stories of our lives and it was total honesty all the grime and dirt and you name it it was completely open for discussion but I never told this one because I completely and utterly forgot about it and I think it was some form of PTSD and then my best friend came around one evening when we were in the UK and reminded me of the story so it was back in 2009 this happened in the Thousand Oaks Simi Valley area and I decided to go dating again I signed up on a dating platform site and started looking around and this is like on a computer not on the phone no this was on a computer came across this profile on this lady and she was beautiful so we started messaging and it all went well for a couple of days that transferred into cell phone and we were talking backwards and forwards and she sounded super intelligent and really nice she had faint accent and it turned out she was danish from denmark anyway we got on like a house on fire after about five days we said well let's meet up for coffee or for lunch and we chose lunch she said well come and pick me up from home and i thought she's taking chances there i could be a retired axe murderer exactly yeah or practicing axe murder so i went up there and went to a house parked out on the drive walked in knocked on the door and she let me in and it was like whoa some of the photos were of her in her twenties.

50:45So I was expecting a difference, but I mean, she was beautiful. So I was expecting some sort of decent transfer. Yeah. You were optimistic. She was okay, but I'd say she was 20 % of what she used to be, but I could tell it was the same person. If you know what I mean? Yeah. That would be my question. Yeah. Like, is it a total catfish? Like none of these photos, her or just a steep decline. She looked like she'd gone through some turmoil or trauma in her life and wasn't doing the best. She invited me in. I stepped in the door to the hallway and looked around while she got her keys and there was pictures and framed photos on the sideboard on the wall.

51:23And it was the same photos that she'd posted and other ones of us. So it's like, this is the person, no doubt about it. I was a little bit on the back foot. Anyway, as I was standing there, she came through to the hallway to leave the house, I noticed she had a bag on her left foot, an upper ankle. It wasn't a medical bag. It was a grocery bag. Wait, what are you talking about? Wait, what? Like a plastic bag? Wait, you mean like coming out of her pants? No, covering her foot. Covering her foot. And then it was tied around a lower part of her calf muscle high on the ankle. As if something was leaking or exposed that she wanted to cover.

52:05Okay. I said, oh, are you okay to go out? And I was sort of inquiring. And she said, it's nothing. It's just an injury of some sort. But she was very vague about it, whether it was a sprained ankle or whatever. But if it was an injury, I would have thought she'd have one of those hospital or those medical boots. At this point, are you starting to consider her mental health? Like, are you thinking, oh, is she crazy? Lightly. But you're not there yet. But you would talk to her on the phone and she had seemed normal on the phone. Absolutely, 100%. She was maybe, you know, at this point, a couple of percent off.

52:39I just thought, oh, right, okay. Anyway, so we got in the car. I'm so sorry. I have one other question. Did you get a sense that there was a shoe on and a bag over, or was she barefoot with a bag? I think there was a shoe in there. Oh, okay. She was wearing something like Birkenstock type. The bag was over the shoe. Not like she had it on the foot and then put the whole bag in the shoe. No, no, no. Completely covering the whole thing. So anyway, we got in the car, drove off to a restaurant, asked for a table, sat down. She was sort of okay-ish. The server came along, can I get you a drink, et cetera.

53:17She said, yeah, I'll have a glass of Chardonnay. And I said, I'll have the same. I'm not a drinker, so a Chardonnay would probably last me a week. As he received the drink, she said thank you to the server, but she said, thank you, bitch. now being from the uk back then i remember everyone was calling each other bitch oh yeah bitch it became a little bit of a trend over here sure i picked that up and i thought oh well this is the fashion yeah this is like it's britney bitch 2009 yeah this is kind of like but the server real nice guy very jolly very up he replied you're welcome bitch oh they were having fun okay great great they're connected and it seemed okay anyway so we carried on talking and the food came and there was a bit more of thanks bitch yeah you're welcome bitch it increased then she drank her wine and she said to the guy can I get another wine bitch he then was sort of coming down on the bitches oh he didn't reply because he was starting to think we've had our fun we're done with that yeah but during the meal she was demanding a few more drinks every single other word was bitch and the volume was raising and it was bitch bitch other people were hearing it and it's like right okay i gotta get out of here let's finish off luckily we got through to three quarters of the meal and i said let's go you know i was polite the gentleman sorry i missed park.

54:54On the way to the restaurant, she said, could we stop at a pet store and get some supplies? And I said, yeah, no problem. So we went into one of the pet stores. Sam, you're very tolerant. I just want to say. I'm famous for patience and tolerance to my own detriment, basically. So anyway, she lit a cigarette up and she went into the store smoking. Now, I'm not a smoker. And it was like, oh, no, this is another thing. I'm not sure about smokers. Anyway, she smoked all the way around the pet store. She found some dog food. She found a bowl. The big thing that was really worrying me around the pet store, which is where I noticed it to begin with, is that the bag on her foot, she got a little limp, but she was dragging her foot like a zombie.

55:40And so she got this great big rustling sliding sound, like shh, shh, shh. Oh, my God. You could go all the way around the store. And I thought, she's going to wear through that bag in a bit. I was really conscious of it. Smoked in the car. I said, do you mind not smoking in the car? Then we went to the restaurant. Oh, boy. Wow. So she had a couple of strikes before the bitch. When we completed the meal and it was all a bitch, bitch, bitch. And she was loud. I got her out of the restaurant and she was shuffling out of the restaurant. We got into the car park and headed to the car. And she was sort of stumbling.

56:20I was sort of holding her up. Right outside the restaurant in the car park was CHP car. And he was watching. So I guess he was looking for people that were drinking too much at lunchtime. And I was thinking, oh, my God, we're going to get stopped. She was getting out of order. So anyway, I managed to help her into the passenger side of the car, closed the door, went round, got into the driving seat. And I just thought, oh, God, I hope he doesn't see us. As I was driving out the car park, she started screaming at total volume, like, where are you taking me? Stop, no. She was flinging her arms everywhere.

56:57Oh, you're going to murder me. You're going to rape me. And she was pushing the windshield and the side window in the car, like trying to get out. And she was getting my arm off the steering wheel. I was like, don't worry, I'm taking you home. She was absolutely out of control. I thought the CHP officer, hopefully is going to see this as some sort of domestic argument. and nothing else. Not a kidnapping. I had to drive all the way back to her house with her screaming. And I was thinking, I hope she doesn't open the car door and jump out. So we drove to her house, pulled up outside, and I whizzed around to the passenger door to help her out and just calm her down.

57:40And she was calming down a little bit now. So I got her out of the car, got halfway down the drive the front door to her house opened and a guy came out oh my goodness see the friendly quite stocky guy and the big beard and he walked towards us and as he was walking towards us he just gave me a casual sort of little pathway like you know don't worry type of thing and he walked up he said oh don't worry she does this all the time she's not taking her meds Yeah, it sounds very bipolar episode-y. What I figured out is that at some point she'd had some sort of mental breakdown in the past. And apparently when she is on a meds or slightly coming off a meds, she does these phone calls, gets on dating sites, makes these appointments, and then her husband has to handle it.

58:34Meet strange men in his driveway returning his wife from dates. Maybe the husband is the most patient person on earth. Clearly. Yeah, he strikes me as a very patient, understanding guy that had been going through this for probably many years. Do you think she had a dog? No, that's the other thing. When I picked her up, there was no sound of a dog, no look of a dog, no putting the dog away or anything. Did you at all want to ask the husband, hey, what's going on with her foot? Two mysteries to me would be like, does she have a dog? And what was going on with the foot? Probably nothing. No, I didn't.

59:04I was just in a bit of shock and it's like, I got to get home. Yeah. The next time I went dating online, I actually met my wife and everything was good. Well, they go really one way or the other for you. They're either horrendous or perfect and you get married. This doesn't sound like a lot of middle ground for you. Yeah. But it goes in the storybook. Yeah. Your loss are gain. That was very funny. Oh, good. So you've got a lot of interest, same as me. I've got a couple of books that I think you should read. Oh, tell me. Oh. from a guy called Tom Reed. He's an ex-Special Forces guy in the UK. But the story is, wow.

59:42And then the other one is The Featherman. I don't know if you've heard of this one. No, what's that about? This is a book by a guy called Ranulph Fiennes. He's one of the greatest explorers of our time. British guy, absolutely so resilient. And it's worth reading books about him, is autobiography as a separate thing. But Featherman, you'll look. Special Forces, guys that become vigilantes in the UK. Yes, great. Thank you for that. Is it safe to say that you love the Krakauer books? It sounds like you would. Yeah, Red, Tin, Thinner. My wife introduced me to that one. In fact, she introduced me to you guys.

1:00:21So you're special in our lives now. She's been listening to you for a long time. And we listen to you every day, going into work, into Santa Monica, coming home. going through all your old ones. And I don't like music or noise in a car. It's thinking time for me. But you guys are the only people that are allowed into my car. Oh, that's flattering. Thank you. So Kim wants to, my wife wants to say hi. Let's get her in here. Hi. Hi, Kim. It's nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. You guys are even better looking sort of impersonation. Oh, wow. I'll take it. I'll definitely take that. Well, it's lovely meeting you.

1:01:01That was a great story. Yes. Yeah, he's got some great stories, but that one made us all laugh. Motorcycle stories. He's got a lot of motorcycle stories. Oh, we should probably do a motorcycle prompt. That'd be good. Well, lovely meeting both of you. Thanks for the opportunity. All right. Take care. Have a great day. Ride safely. Will do. You too. Ish. Bye. Bye. He was a kindred spirit of yours. What a scene. Yeah, bag on the foot. But the only thing is I wouldn't have made it when I saw the bag on the foot. But what would you have done? Well, what I will say is, and I think I've already said it on here.

1:01:37I have had the experience he's talking about where I had met someone on my space. Yeah. And then when I met him in real life, it was dramatically different. That's common. And I felt guilty and I proceeded. Yeah. So in a way I can relate to like, well, I made my bed. Now I got a lay in it feeling, you know? Yeah. Because what are you going to do? You're like, oh, actually, bye? Like, you have to. If you have, like, some self-love, yeah, you go, you know what? I'm really sorry. Before you've even gone on the date. Because they've kind of deceived you. I know, but that's tricky because then they're like, God, all you care about, I'm still me.

1:02:15I didn't send a picture of me when I was 18, you know? Look, I know, but I do think that's tricky. I think if there's obvious deception afoot, you're entitled to go like, hey, I'm not feeling it anymore. Oh. Ooh. It's like, what do you mean? You just got here. You were in love with me last week. Yeah. Well, so I did proceed and I felt gross about it. But I don't think I would leave a location with someone with a bag on their foot to go out on a date. I'd be like, this is already, look where it's starting. Maybe I'd be like, hey, why don't we hang out here? You're not mobile. Yeah, it seems like you have something going on.

1:02:49Do you want to just hang out in the backyard for a little? I'll order us a coffee. And it's like, oh, it's taking forever. I'll go pick it up. And then you don't come back. That's the way out. Oh, boy. Stressful. I'm so glad I don't go on dates. Me too. Yeah. I'm so glad I don't go on dates. And this is not helping. Yeah. It feels validating a little bit. Yeah. We could have a good date prompt. I'm sure it would get you back to neutral. Yeah. Okay. There's a lot of good dates. Well, his second date led to marriage. I know. But he had to go through that bag. Our first caller, she met her Christian husband.

1:03:21That's right. And our third caller married her bad date. Yeah. So pretty good odds. All right. All right. Love you. Love you. Do you want to sing a tune or something? We don't have a theme song. Oh. Okay, great. We don't have a theme song for this new show. So here I go, go, go. We're going to ask some random questions. And with the help of our cherries, we'll get some suggestions. On the flyer, I'm Dish. On the flyer, I'm Dish. Enjoy.