Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Gym II

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24:24For the next couple of months, everything is chill. We are roommates. We do roommate stuff together. We watch movies. We work out. We go to the library. At one point, all of my roommates shared locations. At one point, I had Damon's location. One day I checked. He was at a community college and to everybody in the apartment, he presented himself as a university student. That was the second thing. It became pretty clear that he was not going to our school. I now know this information about him. So one day I actually confront him about the whole thing. And he just lays out so much new information that I didn't know about.

25:01So he is not going to my school. He goes to a community college. He was too embarrassed to tell the roommates that he did not get into my school. I can understand how that might feel. And then he's had a cool personality. He was very chill. and in a span of two weeks, his whole mood just changed. He would come slamming the doors in the apartment. We would hear him yelling in his room, crying in his room. We didn't know what was going on, but me as a friend, I was the only one close to him in the apartment. I decided to have a conversation with him. And that's when he laid out to me that he impregnated a girl, his ex-girlfriend.

25:40Oh, okay. All right. At first, he wanted to pretend that it was not his son. I was like, I think the most right thing for you to do right now is to get a paternity test. But he doesn't want to get a paternity test. A couple months later, the girl actually takes him to court because she's been asking for help because she's pregnant. She got calls and he's just ghosting the girl. But at the same time that he's ghosting the girl, I start to see that he's a creep. because I had his locations. We roommates found out that she was creeping outside of her apartment just trying to see if guys were coming in or not.

26:17Oh boy. I decide that this is not someone that I want to be hanging out with, but I'm in the situation that now he's my roommate. So this now is December of last year. I'm trying to keep my distance, but now his whole obsession with the girl sort of transformed into obsession with me. Every time I would get out of the apartment, And there would be questions about who I was hanging out with, where I was going, what time I would be back. This pattern kept going up until March. He's now taking steroids. And I think he's getting some droid rage. His mood is not the same. We live in a five-bedroom apartment.

26:56So there's me and four other guys. He was a pretty clean guy. But the apartment started becoming a mess. We had an air fryer. And that air fryer was being used and used and used repeatedly without cleaning. So our fire alarm in the apartment was starting to go off every night because of the accumulated grease that was burning out. He needs his protein. It's the chicken broccoli rice every day. This roommate is already scared of Damon. He decides to write a post-it note and put on the air fryer, asking the guy to clean the air fryer. Damon doesn't take that nicely. When he wakes up and see the post-it note, he just crashes out.

27:31He not just yells at the guy, but he starts kicking the door. he's yelling if you're a man you're gonna come out and talk to me why couldn't you just have a conversation with me about this you didn't have to put a post-it note and to me it's pretty clear why the other roommate did that because he was literally trying to avoid this whole situation so I got involved because I did not want Damon to actually touch the guy I get Damon away from him and that was the first incident this incident kept going I think we had four of those but never to me up until april apparently three of his eggs went missing in the fridge and he decided that i took his eggs oh boy the great egg caper of april we did have a short of eggs which i understand you brought out the worst in him that scarcity i wake up i think it's gonna be a normal morning i only have one class for the day i need to do laundry so i get my laundry basket out of my room and he's in the kitchen.

28:31And the first thing that I see is him pointing at me and he starts yelling at me and he calls me a stealer that I've been stealing his food. He knew that I took his eggs. I try to calm down the situation and I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about, but can you please lower your voice? Let's figure this out. He did not take that well. He escalated completely. He started coming at me and then he was yelling slurs up until the point that he was about to touch me and then at that point monica would be really proud of me because i threatened to call the cops yes good job guys yeah good i think that scared him off i went to my room locked the door he did the same thing of kicking and yelling but i was so fed up so i just told him to fuck off if not i was gonna call the cops he did i was very overwhelmed after that situation so i decided to get off the apartment go to my friend's place that same night we were planning to booty pump, but you know, it didn't work out.

29:28He sent me a text a little while after the whole situation explaining that he did not feel like himself. He's been going through so much with the paternity court and his whole situation with the son and everything. And I'm like, I get it. But at the same time, I don't think this is a reasonable behavior for you to be having with your roommates. That was my last actual interaction with Damon. After that, I got so scared to live in my own apartment that I was couch surfing. And whenever I completely knew that Damon was not in the apartment, I would come back, but it was some very stressful time.

30:00And that's when my parents actually got involved in this and found out that he had a couple battery charges and he had two aggravated domestic violence charges. That's when I was finally able to talk to my complex office to sort of get him out of our leaving zone. So that was my story about how a gym friend became a crazy roommate. This is also a mesh of stories. That's true. It was also crazy roommates, right? Yikes. Boy, there's a lot here. Was it easy for them to get him out of that apartment? Our apartment complex, we go through some background check. It wasn't easy just because they approved the background check.

30:41And in Florida, we have some laws for like non-discriminatory protection. But I think he was also just fed up with us that the office kind of offered him to leave without having to pay anything. And then he kind of took the bait and left. Gosh, so he's still out there. That was only a few months ago. Was he getting visibly bigger? He's our next caller. Was he jacked? Were the roids working? The roids were working. There's so many young dudes on roids. And yeah, they're so emotionally unstable. Yeah. It's insane. Well, it's fucking with their hormones. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. So he wasn't romantically in love with you.

31:15To me, and I can't, you're not supposed to diagnose people that you've never met, especially if you're not a psychologist, which I'm not. But it sounds a little BDP. He immediately was obsessed with you. Yeah. It did sound like that, but then the roids made more sense. It also just points out how tenuous our grip on acting normal is. Like, you add a little bit of this into your body, and then mentally you're unhinged. The thing that stuck with me was how normal he seemed in the beginning and how quickly things changed. And that kind of scared me off from building new friendships and stuff like that, because we never know what's going to happen.

31:49You don't know. It's true. Oh, boy. Well, Alex, you're a delight to me. Yeah. I can see where someone really wanted to live with you and be friends. You're very friendly. No, this is totally insane. I just wanted to tell Monica that Monica is my biggest parasocial relationship. Oh, I love being on the other side of the parasocial relationship. It's fun. All right. Well, good luck with everything. You're about to start your senior year. This is first day of classes. So I'm going to class in about an hour. Oh, my God. Enjoy your last year. Thank you, guys. Thank you for having me. Take care. Hi there.

32:26Kate. Hi. How are you? Cute sweatshirt. Thank you so much. And cute sunshine pendant. We don't call it a pendant. charm. What is it? What do we call that? Well, isn't the necklace the round part? Okay, I don't want to get into it. I think I'm penning. Okay, good, good, good, good. And where are you, Kate? I'm in St. Pete, Florida. Are you shortening St. Petersburg? I am, yes. Oh, okay, okay, okay. And is Busch Gardens still thriving down there? Yeah, that's over in Tampa. I don't get there often, but it's still going. How far of a drive is that for you? 40 minutes? Yeah, it'd be like half an hour.

33:02Oh, even shorter. Pretty close. And what kind of heat are you dealing with down there right now? Oh, well, let's just say I shouldn't be wearing this sweatshirt, but I did it for you guys. It's quite unbearable in the summer, but we're towards the end when it starts to get nice and the reason why people move down here. And where are you from? I'm originally from New Jersey. Oh, lovely. I would imagine there's a lot of transplants from that area down there. Definitely. It's a really cool city. We got the beach. There's a really cool art scene down here. Okay, so you have a fun gym story. Or I don't know if fun's the right word, but you have a gym story.

33:34I have an interesting gym story. Well, first I have to say, Monica, happy birthday. Oh, my goodness. Thank you. You guys, the armchairs are so sweet. That's really nice. Thank you. They all know your birthday. I'm her best friend, and I have to think constantly, like, okay, this is coming. It's the 24th. You know, I'm not. I thought you forgot today. No. You thought so? This morning. The second I saw you, I was singing happy birthday. How could you forget? No, before. Or you just were anticipating I was going to come out and not know it was your birthday. Okay. And then yesterday I was at your house saying, yeah, I thought you forgot.

34:06But I really appreciate you knowing and thinking. Thank you. Oh, absolutely. So my gym story takes place here in St. Pete, Florida. This was in the spring of 2024. And for a little backstory, I had started dating my girlfriend a few months prior to this. And we actually met at the gym. Monica, be cute. That's a different gym story, I guess. Yeah. So at this point, we've been dating for just a few months. We're definitely like in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. And our gym was having a adult field day. Oh, they have it at a local park. It was like a Sunday adult field day that we had signed up for.

34:46So that's where my story takes place. So the morning of the field day, we decided to go for a little walk beforehand. So my girlfriend, Jenna, and I are walking our dog. And all of a sudden, this dog off leash comes flying at our dog and latches onto his neck. So everything happened very quickly. But we're both holding mugs of coffee. The mugs of coffee are all over us. We're on the ground pulling this dog off. The owner comes over. Luckily, our dog was okay. That's kind of the start of our day. So we started the day walking back to our house, pretty rattled. We've got coffee all over us. And I just had this feeling.

35:24I'm like, I don't know. just something about that situation is telling me like we just shouldn't do the gym thing today we should just skip over this whole adult field day i just have this intuition but our dog was fine and she's like you know what we signed up for this we've been looking forward to it let's just do it we get ready i throw on some gym shorts and i steal my girlfriend's westphalia vintage t-shirt i thought looked really cute and she says to me that is my favorite shirt please don't get grass stains on it which i'm like i'm not gonna get a grass stain okay and adult field day so anyway we take off to field day there's probably like 120 to 150 people there there's a couple different vendors they have a dj so it's really fun like little setup big turnout is there like events plan like a three-legged race that kind of stuff yep so it's like the tug of war race all that potato sack race exactly we were put on the same team we knew a lot of people that went to this gym but our team that we were paired with, there were eight other people and we didn't know them.

36:25Start off, we do the tug of war, lose miserably. Next station, lose miserably. And I should note, my girlfriend and I are both like pretty competitive people. And like, even though this is like a fun, lighthearted day, I'm like, hey, we're here. Like we're putting in the effort, our team's slacking a little bit.

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38:38So we get to a race where it's all of the teams are competing at once. So there's like 12 of us. And it's one of those relay races where there's the potato sack down and back. And then you put the egg on, you know, very fun. So at this point, we were down one person because one girl on our team just kind of gave up and was like, I don't want to do this anymore. So we're down to nine people. Everybody else got 10. So we start this potato sack goes, we do the egg and I'm looking around like, we're actually doing pretty good. Like we have a chance here. Like, all right, like we're ready to take it off.

39:09I'm starting like the adrenaline's kicking. And the very last portion of this race was running backwards. So you like run backwards to a cone turnaround and run backwards. So we're standing there. There's a guy in front of me. And I'm like, hey, man, can I go in front of you? I'm really good at running backwards. And he's like, yeah, sure. If I were him, I'd be like, how do you know that? I know. How would you even know if you're good at running backwards? I don't know. I'm super confident. So I turn around. I make it about five strides and my foot catches and I just immediately go down. And I did exactly what you're not supposed to do, which, you know, my dad's a college basketball coach.

39:47And he always says, like, if you're ever going to fall, don't put your arms back. That's exactly what I did. So I put my arms back. And the second I go down, I'm like, I'm screwed. Like, this is not good at all. But I did not want to just lay there and have all these people come over to me. didn't want the attention so I'm like okay I've got to get up and finish this so I pop back up pull my arms like in close to me I'm like I just can't look down no matter what I do just can't look down so I finish the one and go back on my way back I catch eyes with my friend Chelsea and she's like are you okay I'm like absolutely not keep going I see my girlfriend I'm like I'm not okay I'm going over there and nobody kind of really realized when I went down how hard it was because I was just so embarrassed and I didn't want the attention.

40:30So I finally like run off behind to this little section where nobody was and I look down and immediately pass out. They are just like dangling. My wrists just don't look like they're attached to my body. You've got silly hands now. What if you had popped up and ran and then looked and your hands weren't there? They were back on the ground still. So I come to and there's a few people that there's this one member who is a nurse and she was amazing. We had these like motivational plaques and she took those and put them on my wrist and like wrapped it up to get me to the hospital. I show up to the hospital and they do x-rays and I get put back into a room.

41:19And pretty immediately they're like, we got to cut that shirt off. Like there's just no way we got to cut that shirt off. So vintage shirt, completely ruined. And you certainly got grass stains on it when you fell backwards. Yeah, there's definitely some grass stains also, but now it's just totally ruined. Shredding grass stains. Oh my God, if I were her, I'd be like, wait, can we just try to get it off? Well, but can we cut her arms off? Exactly. Yeah, I don't need those. I just need the shirt. They get that off. And then they're basically like, we need to manipulate them back into place before anything else.

41:50Do you remember those like finger traps that you had as a kid or you put them in? Yeah, we know what they used to be called. I have a picture of this that I sent in, but this machine that they basically put me in, I have my hands up. All 10 fingers are in these. Oh, yes. They gave me some morphine and then the doctor needed to manipulate my wrist back into place. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Ew, this is wild looking. I broke both wrists. Once they saw the x-rays, they were like, okay, you're going to need to get surgery today. And as I mentioned, my dad is a basketball coach. And he's like, you're not getting surgery right now.

42:30Like, I want to call and help you like find an orthopedic surgeon. So he's up in New Jersey, and he's gone. So I ended up leaving hospital, I just discharged myself, I'm on all this medication. And the cast went from about here, halfway up my arm so past my elbow so my arms are literally just stuck out like oh like uncle jesse yes yeah okay uncle jesse if you don't know that reference like the position someone's in just before they start doing the robot that's what you're stuck in basically okay but most people understand uncle jesse from full house and it was really upsetting and then he's stuck like this and it's sad it's sad i think he wanted to hug someone and he kind of couldn't i forget the details but it's a sad episode okay i end up getting in touch with a surgeon the next day and they say that they can operate on me in nine days they have to do both arms at the same time so i was wearing that for nine days so i just want to remind you guys that i just got in a relationship we actually had just moved in together so my girlfriend needed to do absolutely everything for me from like feeding me to wiping my butt so that was the honeymoon phase of my relationship and without her t-shirt knowing you ruined her favorite shirt on top of it i know oh she's a good one then trial by fire could she actually come say hi before she does i have a couple follow-up questions were you on grass or pavement grass you're just gonna be uneven i suppose i was very nervous you were going to tell me that the bones were out when you stopped running oh my gosh like sticking yeah yeah yeah yeah and then last thing is on my friend joy riccardi when erin and I were in eighth grade.

44:05We were skateboarding in the driveway and he went off this lawn trip. And at this point, Aaron and I were in his garage having something to drink. We hear him screaming and he runs in and he's holding his arm. And when he takes his hand off his arm, it bends like he has two wrists. I'm imagining that's what you had going on because it broke clean both those bones and he just had two wrists. It was alarming. Yeah, that is exactly what it was. All right, All right, let's meet your impossibly nice girlfriend. Yes, Jenna. Hi. Hi, Jenna. I'm so sorry about your shirt. It sounded really cute. It was just pretty funny that that ended up that way.

44:43Crazy start to the relationship. Has she made any effort to replace the T-shirt? There's a lot of different websites that she could be, you know. Not yet. If we come across one, I'm sure she will. There's one at a store called Max Fields in Los Angeles. It's a Sinead O 'Connor vintage shirt. It is$2 ,000. Oh, my gosh. If you're interested in purchasing that. Maybe. You could either go to Europe or you could get this t-shirt. Choice is yours. That could rip another one. Yeah, exactly. Well, it's lovely meeting you guys. I'm sorry you had such a terrible day at the field day. Have you guys been back?

45:23Is that an annual event they do? We have not been back, and I don't think that they've done field day. You ruined it. Okay. Yeah, I did. I ruined it. Well, thanks so much for calling. It's great meeting you guys. All right. Great to meet you too. Take care. Hi. We're confused by the sign-in name and then the name we think you're. Is it Steph? Yeah, it's Steph. Sorry. I'm on my husband's work laptop. We couldn't get mine to work. So here I am. And is your husband, I see a guitar hanging, but I also see some sound dampening wall behind you. What's happening in this room? Yes. This is my husband's cool shed office that he outfitted.

45:58Is that an animal back there? Like a seal. On the printer? Yeah. Oh, it's a sloth. A sloth. Oh, I think we have that sloth. Our kids had that sloth. I think you have all the sloths that were ever made. That's true. Where are these stuff? I'm in Oregon in the Willamette Valley. Oh, lovely. And are you from there or did you move there? So we moved here about a year ago. From? Long story, but Minneapolis and then England and then now here. Oh, my God. Sounds like a fun story. Boy, am I immediately, my detective mind wants to know like what industries are thriving in both of those locations that you'd go back and forth.

46:35Okay, so you have a crazy gym story. Okay, so this was about six years ago when I still lived in Minneapolis. At the time, I was going to this very cool, trendy bouldering gym. I don't really know how else to describe it, but the cool kids went there. Like there was a kombucha bar, a yoga studio. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you could stay and study if you wanted to, but obviously there was bouldering too. It was always super crowded and it's where all the people gathered and minkled. So on this particular day, I had been there for about an hour and I was working on this one route in particular and had really been wanting to try and finish it.

47:11I'd gone back and forth to it throughout the day, had gotten close several times. There were other people there that were better boulders than me who had been failing at it and I was close. So I just was like, I'm going to get this. I was about to leave, but then I was like, okay, I'll just give it one more shot. Public service announcement to anyone who does anything dangerous. One last shot slash last run. The second you say that out loud, pack your shit up and go home. Do not ever proceed after one last shot. I wish I knew that PSA at the time. So this particular route was on this inside corner.

47:45So the route was mostly on this wall. And then the last handhold was on this wall. The only way that I really could figure out how to do it was you had to jimmy your foot in once you got up there and then just kind of like push off and hope for the best that your hand would get that hold are you wearing a line you're in a harness what okay okay bouldering is without oh my god all right the walls are not as high but it was still one and a half stories oh and is there a pit under you not a pit there's like a mat it's a two-foot mat that's not enough No, I like jimmied my foot in and reached out for it and pushed off and I got it.

48:25And my roommate was there and some friends below and I just heard them all cheering and they were so excited for me. I was so excited. But then the force of pushing off caused me to kind of swing one way. And then on the back swing, my hand fell off and I fell. And when you're bouldering, you can fall well, like I'd fallen well many times. you fall on both feet and then you just kind of roll back and it's great but i fell with the full impact on my ankle oh well because you're so off balance if you were in a pendulum state and that brought you off of your hold right you're scatty wampus to begin with you're not falling now straight right you're falling sideways ish yeah it was problematic so i hit the ground and i just heard the cheers immediately turn to like gasps and screams of horror that's the worst part you You had the whole spectrum of human emotion in like three seconds.

49:19And I didn't feel any pain at this point, but I knew it was bad because the way people were reacting. Then I looked down and where my foot is supposed to be, I just see bones sticking straight out of my leg. Oh, no. What do they call that? They call that a certain kind of fracture. When it comes out of your skin, what's it called? A gross one. An open dislocation is what it was called. there's blood gushing everywhere there's just like a pool of blood at this point anytime bones are on the scene it's like oh fuck really disrupts the natural order of things yeah and it was kind of like if you sprain your ankle on a curb and it rolls inward but just kept going so my foot was like still technically attached i found out later it was only attached my skin no but it was like folded all the way up and i was staring at the bottom of my shoe the sole of your shoe no yeah like imagine mania came all the way oh fuck man all the way up i can imagine passing out from the side of that i'm not one to pass out easily but i was feeling close at that point like i was like either i'm gonna throw up or pass out but once i saw it i just started screaming fuck over and over again.

50:42And it was like this kid-friendly gym. So I felt kind of bad about it. What were you going to do? I know. I mean, I feel like if there's an appropriate time to use the F word, that's when it is. Like the kids will understand. Yeah. They need to learn. They need to learn when it's appropriate to use that word and that's it. But my roommate said that at that point she saw people just exiting in droves and she saw one girl go and throw up. It was chaos. Like it was pretty much completely silent in the gym except for my screams. And someone obviously called the paramedics. There was a few people surrounding me.

51:14There was randomly a boulderer there who was also a nurse and she came and helped me out. And I asked someone to grab my phone and call my husband. And so I had him on speakerphone and he was kind of keeping me calm. But then when the paramedics arrived, someone took my phone away. And I, to this day, just remember being so pissed about that. I was like, he's what's keeping me calm. Like, why did you do that? But yeah, so the paramedics got there And they said they were going to give me something that would not numb the pain, but make me dissociate from it. So they pumped me full of that stuff.

51:44And then they kind of splinted the ankle slightly to get me on the stretcher. God bless paramedics. Can you imagine anything worse than re-articulating someone's folded up leg? But they probably get a lot of joy out of it. Yeah, it was like a 15-minute drive to the ER. And when I got there, the people that greeted me kind of took a look at the situation. and they said, okay, we're going to put you under for a few minutes just to stabilize you. And then they said, by the way, we can't find a pulse on your foot. So you might wake up without one. I was so high at the time on whatever the paramedics had given me that I did not give a shit about that.

52:22I was just like, please don't cut my climbing shoe. That's all I care about. Please don't cut it. It was so expensive. Isn't it funny, the human brain, as someone who's been in several motorcycle accidents, your literal first thought is like, is the bike broken? Like, how could that be your thought? And it's covered in blood. I've never worn them again. I don't know why. So they put me under, when I woke up, I still had a foot. Oh, thank God. Yeah. Cause you could have torn all the vascularity and stuff. Pretty much everything was torn off. They told me it was hanging on by like just threads of skin.

52:57I had major surgery the next day. And then I was there for a few days for the antibiotics and then they discharged me. So I still have a foot. I'm so glad to hear that. They put plates in there? They thought they were going to, but they actually didn't have to. It was a really crazy injury. It was really rare. I fell and didn't break any bones at all. Oh, popped it off. Yeah. What? Where the leg meets the foot just split right at the perfect spot of those bones. If you ever make a chicken, a roast chicken, and then you're carving it, the wings just pop right off at the joint. That's what happened.

53:33There's photos. Oh, fuck. This might be the first set of photos I don't know if I can look at. Okay, so this was after they splinted it, and this was in the ambulance. Oh, my fucking heavens, dude. That's the worst photo I've seen on the show. Oh, that's an honor. What is happening? Steph, Steph, Steph, Steph, Steph. Steph. Oh my fucking god. I don't even get it. And I can't stop staring at it. And it's so vile. You can see the little bit of blue and that's my shoe. Yeah. It's still the wrong way. I'm seeing a shoe just pushed up. All they did is they ace banded your shoe to the side of your leg.

54:08They just taped your shoe with an ace band. They were pretty much like, let's just keep the foot from falling fully off before we get there. Wow. Wow. How soon were you back out bouldering ever? I'm a therapist. And so I was like, I got to do some exposure therapy on myself. So I did eventually go to a climbing gym with ropes and I climbed, but my hands were just like shaking the whole time. I don't enjoy it anymore. But I just don't want to be afraid of anything in my life. And so I knew I had to do that to get over the fear. But yeah, it's not the same. I know everything about your childhood from that last sentence.

54:45I just don't ever want to be afraid of anything in my life. Well, no one likes being afraid. It's horrible. And I can relate. Oh, man. Yikes. Well, Steph. I'm so glad you walked away with your foot. Good job. Well, take care. Thank you so much. Thank you. I imagine that she woke up from her surgery and she looked down and there was like a Mr. Potato Head foot just stuck in there. That's what you thought was going to happen? Like they put a prosthetic foot on and play? No, a Mr. Potato Head. Have you ever seen him? Oh, the actual whole potato? No, Mr. Potato Head's foot. Okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

55:31Have you ever played with Mr. Potato Head? Of course. Okay. You can't grow up in America and that spends some time with Mr. Potato Head. Yeah, so he has like a little shoe, I think. White little shoe and just plug it in there. She'll just wake up and look and that's just where her foot was. Well, if you see in that photo, there is a hole they could have put a plug in. Potato head. I know. That's a rough picture. Sorry about that last one, but hey. You get what you get. You can't listen. You don't ask for seconds. What is it? You don't get upset. You don't get upset. Okay. Oh, love you and happy birthday.

55:59Thank you. All right. Bye-bye. Do you want to sing a tune or something? We don't have a theme song. Oh. Okay, great. We don't have a thing song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions, and with the help of our cherries, we'll get some suggestions. On the flyer, I'm Dish. On the flyer, I'm Dish. Enjoy.