Armchair Anonymous: Remodeling Disaster

7:12Monica Padman:Before we get to the disaster, I imagine the pride you have when you sit in a house that you actually did all the shit to. It must be immense.

7:19Dax Shepard:It is. And also, you are very aware of all the things that you messed up on. There's pros and cons to it. We've done two houses since this, and we're really bad about pointing things out to people. They're like, oh, this looks so gorgeous, like so impressive. And we're like, yeah, but do you see where we didn't mud that well? Oh, no. So we start getting this clog and being the people that we are that will never call for help or ask for help. My husband's like, I got this. I can unclog a drain. He's snaking the drain, trying to unclog it, you know, Drano doing all the things and nothing's working.

7:54Dax Shepard:So we think, OK, we got to get a little bit more creative. This would have been a really, really good time to call a plumber. We said, no, no, no. It's cool. We're good. my husband buys like a balloon little thing that you insert into the pipes and then once it's in the pipes it inflates and then shoots a little line of water out that's supposed to do like a really strong pressure water that's supposed to clear out the clog so he thinks this will do it this is what the plumbers would do so we can do this well really quick the plumbers would have

8:25Monica Padman:probably put a camera down there already to see what's happening yeah that would have been the

8:31Dax Shepard:right thing to do. So the way our kitchen is set up, our kitchen sink has a big window above it that looks out into the backyard. So we have that window open and my husband's outside at the clean out line. And he has me standing at the kitchen sink with the kitchen cabinet underneath the sink where all the pipes are open. And so he has me watching the pipes to make sure there's no leaks or anything. And then also checking the sink to see if he clears it and it starts draining. He feeds this little balloon in, inflates it, and we have an explosion.

9:07Dax Shepard:Immediately, our pipes have burst under the kitchen sink, spewing water out. Picture me standing there. It's already covered my entire lower body, and it's like a fire hydrant.

9:19Monica Padman:Oh, my gosh. It's full pressure force liquid coming out. It's backed up waste.

9:25Dax Shepard:Ew! That's what I'm going to do

9:28Monica Padman:Sorry, sorry, sorry It's okay

9:30Dax Shepard:It takes me about one second To realize that it's sewage It's poop? Wait, why? In the kitchen sink?

9:40Monica Padman:Because the main line is clogged And it's all backed up

9:43Dax Shepard:You know, it's also disgusting To think about the fact That there's poop in your kitchen sink Like this is why we shouldn't be doing The work on your own house Because you know too much

9:52Monica Padman:There isn't the normally poop In your kitchen sink unless all of that mainline water is getting backed all the way up into the little pipes

10:01Dax Shepard:so i start screaming bloody murder within seconds i'm covered he comes running in he's covered and he goes back out to stop the water but in that amount of time the amount of water sewage i should really not be saying water yeah let's not you or i should say shit water there's probably three or four inches of standing in our kitchen

10:29Monica Padman:how does it smell so bad oh like a porta potty like shit water would smell

10:36Dax Shepard:yeah i have a pretty strong stomach and i was gagging it was so so gross we got the water stopped but then we just had to deal with the aftermath of it basically just get some paper

10:50Monica Padman:towels out napkins that's what i would do i guess i'll start cleaning this up we just start grabbing

10:58Dax Shepard:every bath towel beach towel that we have but you think it's like putting something down immediately so in a pool we're taking them out to our backyard and just slopping them on the ground

11:08Monica Padman:full of shit water but the grass was gorgeous afterwards though you don't have a shop vac i'm assuming.

11:15Dax Shepard:Well, we do. We were able to shot back up a lot of water, but within not long at all, our towels are all soaked. So we're like out in the backyard. We're wringing out sewage towels just to bring them back in and scoop up more waves. Did you consider just burning the house down at that point? Yeah, we sure did. We had friends that were about to come over for dinner that we had to call and say, hey, you can't come. We just filled our entire house with shit.

11:44Monica Padman:That's so depressing.

11:46Dax Shepard:It was really, really sad and embarrassing. My husband's input mostly was like, we realized we haven't told this story to that many people. A, because we had just moved into this house. I'm like, if I tell everyone that this happened, everyone's going to come over and I'm going to be like feeding them a meal and all they're going to be able to think about is this entire kitchen covered in shit. It was a crime scene.

12:07Monica Padman:Did the floors make it?

12:09Dax Shepard:Yes. We were able to, we hope, clean everything. We really do hope your tenants are not listening here. They're like, that's what that smell is? I know. Or everyone that's ever eaten at our house. And that first little bit, it was just like our kitchen went through it. What it turned into was we'd obviously had all of the inspections, plumbing inspections and everything when we bought the house and started doing all this. The house was built in 67. So all of the pipes are cast iron. So the plumbing inspection, they even put the cameras down in there just a few months before. he was like yeah these are in great shape eventually you will have to replace them but you've probably got a good seven eight nine years left in them so we think great and that obviously not the case there were like tree roots growing in and stuff so this all culminated to a forty thousand dollars bill to replace all of the pipes underneath the foundation oh my god Oh, that's, you know, a different twist on an unauthorized evacuation.

13:12Monica Padman:It's being covered in shit from the outside in.

13:14Dax Shepard:I saw the prompts and I thought this has a nice little twist that you guys will like.

13:19Monica Padman:If it ever goes in that direction, we're delighted.

13:22Dax Shepard:OK, so you need a shop vac.

13:24Monica Padman:You need a shop vac to get all that initial water out of there. And then you're going to donate all of your towels to this project. You're going to hose in the backyard and you're spraying the shit off the towels and the grass. Yeah. Yeah.

13:37Dax Shepard:Nightmare.

13:38Monica Padman:It's a character builder, though. When it's all done, you get a little surge of like, yeah, we did it, man. That was tough.

13:44Dax Shepard:We can tackle anything. We're plumbers.

13:46Monica Padman:It's the closest we'll ever feel to like being Marines, probably. I think it's the same. Well, at least lovely meeting you. I presume you only got better at this over the next two.

13:54Dax Shepard:Yes, I would say we've gotten better. Nothing catastrophic. No poop filled rooms at all.

14:00Monica Padman:That's a positive turn of events.

14:01Dax Shepard:Well, thank you, guys. I just wanted to say I love the podcast. I am a social worker. And so I really loved, I just wanted to shout out your most recent episode on foster care with Claudia. I work in foster care. I have for the last 10 years since I've been out of school. And that's just a topic that doesn't get a lot of talking space on a major platform. And if it does, you're hearing only the really negative stories that hit the news. And while that happens and that's worth sharing, I feel like we're missing the opportunity to kind of say, okay, well, we know it's bad. What's the plan for reform?

14:37Dax Shepard:So I really appreciated that conversation. So I just wanted to say thank you for that.

14:41Monica Padman:I'm really glad because I did hear from a couple of people that work in foster care that were kind of offended or felt judged by it. That was certainly not our intention. As we, I think, we were hopefully pointed out, it's like the system is not a good system. The people in the system are well-intentioned and wonderful, but the system's producing a result. So we really you got to rethink the system.

15:03Dax Shepard:Yes. She focused so much heavier on the older kids aging out that kind of side. And my day to day is more with families fostering younger kids and kind of catching those earlier years leading to either adoption or reunification. So she did a couple nice shout outs of like, not all foster parents, you know, you could do a whole other episode on a different side to it.

15:26Monica Padman:Perhaps we should to make it even. Well, thank you for doing the work you you and lovely meeting you and I hope I bump into you at Barton Springs.

15:33Dax Shepard:I hope so.

15:34Monica Padman:Okay. Take care.

15:36Dax Shepard:Thanks y 'all. Bye.

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16:18Monica Padman:Ding, ding, ding. And they've got something for everyone. Power waffles, thick and fluffy waffles, frozen pancakes, and even breakfast sandwiches. Literally, just heat and eat. I mean, I'm all over those gluten-free options.

16:31Dax Shepard:Really delicious.

16:31Monica Padman:Absolutely. And then just the bang for the buck on the protein cannot be beat. You can find Kodiak Power Waffles and Buttermilk Power Flapjacks in the freezer aisle at your local grocery store. It's comfort food with purpose.

16:52Monica Padman:So I didn't see them. I'm going to call her Callie. Wait, what? You need a fake name, right?

16:55Dax Shepard:Oh. Yes. Yeah.

16:57Monica Padman:So I said sight unseen, I'm going to call her Callie.

16:59Dax Shepard:Oh, wow.

17:00Monica Padman:Because I didn't want you to be influenced by where you see her first. It's a nod to Callie.

17:05Dax Shepard:That's nice.

17:06Monica Padman:And you have the cutest sweatshirt on.

17:09Dax Shepard:Yes, you do. Robot. He is so cute.

17:13Monica Padman:He's a nice boy. He is. He's been gone for a while.

17:16Dax Shepard:I know. I miss him.

17:19Monica Padman:So Callie, where are you at?

17:21Dax Shepard:I am in Bismarck, North Dakota, where caramel rolls are a breakfast delight and a car starter is a must.

17:29Monica Padman:Oh, our good friend Christina is from Bismarck. That's where we stayed on our trip. You're on the Missouri River there. Yeah, it's beautiful. We were there in the summertime and it was impossibly green.

17:41Dax Shepard:Are you required to say that whole phrase after you say where you're from? Is that that might be like a thing? I think you guys have to say it. I like it. Thank you.

17:50Monica Padman:So, Callie, you have a remodeling disaster?

17:53Dax Shepard:Yes. I grew up with a dad who fixed everything. I felt like he kind of empowered us to try. So our bathroom flooring, we needed to redo it. And I was like, okay, let's try. The flooring that was on there was a big vinyl sheet, and it's just tons of glue. Oh, wow. Yeah. My husband and I feel that a lot of our stuff is from Menards. I don't know if you guys know.

18:17Monica Padman:The hardware store?

18:18Dax Shepard:Yep. Oh, I don't know it. Save big money at Menards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I got to work with a box cutter and a putty knife. And I'm cutting and I'm just scraping. And there was a tool my dad gave me, but it just wasn't working, like a motorized something. So it's coming off like little inches at a time. And then sometimes I get like a satisfying strip, but it's just laboring. Yeah. This is a day and a half of me going at this floor. It was a workout. It was very straining. So that night I'm in the shower and I'm scrubbing and I'm scrubbing and I scrub it downstairs. And I'm horrified to feel something dangling out of my vagina.

19:06Dax Shepard:What?

19:06Monica Padman:Oh my goodness. What? Oh, wow.

19:09Dax Shepard:I did not see this coming. I didn't either. I feel like I grew a third labia. What? I'm just not sure what's going on. Oh, no. I panic. I come out and I ask my husband to check it out. And he's like, no. I lay down on the bed and then I'm checking it. And I'm thinking, OK, I think maybe this is OK. You want to keep it moving.

19:35Monica Padman:Are you using a mirror? Do you have like a little hand mirror? No.

19:39Dax Shepard:So I think I'm also trying to talk myself like we're fine. Yeah.

19:44Monica Padman:Yeah. Calm yourself down.

19:45Dax Shepard:Yeah, I get up, I'm moving around and I'm like, nope, this is not okay. Does it hurt? What does it feel like? Well, so there's no blood or anything, but there's like something there. Yeah. It's uncomfortable. Yes. And then it's cramping a little bit. Like it's not good. So then I, my chart, my doctor, she thankfully had a cancellation in a couple of days. And I was so glad that it was at least that long because I felt like I was sitting on it literally and figuratively just nervous about what was going on. So I get there and she does her exam and she tells me that due to that straining and all that, sure enough, my uterus prolapsed.

20:29Monica Padman:It was distended all the way, exiting. Exiting. Oh, wow.

20:34Dax Shepard:Ow. But Monica, I've had three kids and one baby for my sister.

20:40Monica Padman:Oh, hold on. That's beautiful. Nice job. That's so sweet.

20:44Dax Shepard:Thank you. But I feel like she was holding on by a thread. She was already fragile. So that kicked her out. And the doctor did offer a mirror, but I was like, I have been avoiding looking down there. And the other thing that shocked me was she told me some women come with their entire uterus between their legs. What? My options were a cup to keep it up, which is just leave it. Forever? Yes. Or a hysterectomy. So then a couple days later, my dad comes over and my mom was a nurse forever. So he's telling me about this cup I could wear. And I'm just like, oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed. My dad's telling me about a cup to keep my parts up.

21:28Dax Shepard:Oh, wow. Getting old is so depressing.

21:32Monica Padman:Well, really quick, you did preface this by saying your dad could fix anything. Yeah, that's true. He's like, oh, there's a tool. We can use this tool for this.

21:43Dax Shepard:That is true. So the worst part is we go to the place to look at new flooring. You know, the flooring's off. We tell them the preparation and what I've done. And they look at me and my husband and they go, you took off that flooring? and I was like, yeah, they said, my guys don't even do that. That's so much work. And we just lay the flooring on top of that. Oh my God. Yeah.

22:07Monica Padman:Or I think they even cut out the plywood underneath and just put new plywood down. You did the impossible.

22:13Dax Shepard:Oh my God. Well, yeah. And you paid for it. This feels unfair. This feels like you should have been rewarded for your hard work. I don't like this story. I know. I had to ask the doctor now that this was on the table, I was like, what are the odds your rectum prolapses? Thankfully, she has only seen that once, she said. And that that's a lot of straining to go to the bathroom. Oh, I was glad that I have IBS at that moment.

22:41Monica Padman:We interviewed someone with a pet story and it was that their dog's ass kept prolapsing. The veterinarian said, put tons of sugar on the rectum and pack it back in and something about the sugar. So I've been on the toilet too long and I've started to think like, yeah, what if I prolapsed? Would I go get a bunch of sugar and try it myself before I dealt with a doctor? They had a picture of that. Of a prolapsed anus?

23:02Dax Shepard:Of the dog. It was up your whole while.

23:04Monica Padman:Oh, the dog. The dog's butthole hanging out or inside butt. Yeah, so this is personal, but what option did you select?

23:11Dax Shepard:Oh, yes. So it was last spring. So you can't swim for six to seven weeks. We have a pontoon. Yeah, you do. It's that season. And so I was like, I'm going to check what it's like just to hang out. and I couldn't do it because I like to exercise. I run. It felt like it was getting worse and worse. I chose in December to have a hysterectomy, but she was very knowledgeable, like kept the blood flow and the ovaries and all that. So it did make me feel better. Man, these are tough options. A hysterectomy or a cop up there forever?

23:48Monica Padman:My mother had one very young, but I've since learned that your uterus is so integral in your hormones. Has that been a thing where they were like, okay, well, now we got to monitor your hormones?

23:58Dax Shepard:Yes. But also she said that if my ovaries are still there, that that should help. Okay, good. Wow. You really went through it for this remodel.

24:09Monica Padman:And unexpected in a great way. You're not thinking remodeling disaster is going to involve a hysterectomy.

24:13Dax Shepard:It got me here, which is so exciting. We are very happy to talk to you.

24:19Monica Padman:Yes. So nice to meet you.

24:21Dax Shepard:Yes. Thank you so much.

24:23Monica Padman:All right. Take care. Hi, Megan. How are you?

24:27Dax Shepard:I am so good.

24:29Monica Padman:Is that a sheet behind you? Are you in a camping tent?

24:31Dax Shepard:Oh, you did a beautiful sheet. I don't have a walk-in closet, so this is my makeshift fort. And so like taking a coat rack and a lamp from the other room and this is what we got.

24:43Monica Padman:Did it bring back any childhood memories of fort building?

24:46Dax Shepard:Yeah, but I feel like I remember it being so much better as a kid than doing it as an adult. Yeah.

24:53Monica Padman:And what part of the country are you in?

24:54Dax Shepard:I am in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Ooh.

24:57Monica Padman:This is interesting. We just talked to Bismarck, North Dakota. So we're in that Northern region. We don't get a ton of y 'all.

25:03Dax Shepard:That's true. It's nice to have you.

25:05Monica Padman:And are you from there or did you move there?

25:07Dax Shepard:Grew up and have always been from the greater Milwaukee area.

25:10Monica Padman:Okay. So you have a remodeling disaster story.

25:13Dax Shepard:Yes. To set the stage. So in 2019, my fiance now husband and I, we bought our first home. and it still had the original oak 1960s, kind of like that orange-yellow trim, and we wanted to give it a facelift. So our realtor recommended a small company he had used himself, and we were going to have the trim painted and install new doors. And the quote for it all was about$4 ,500 for labor, but we had bought the doors, we had bought the paint, so it was pretty much just the labor.

25:48Monica Padman:That sounds very fair. That wouldn't be the quote here in L.A. Yeah, or nowadays.

25:52Dax Shepard:So the project began and it was pretty much two workers, one installing the doors and one guy painting. And early on, there were small issues like the doors not closing properly or they were just cut too short. They used our drill bits, but then never return them or leave our garage door open overnight. And the painter in particular was kind of an odd guy. And one day he started acting very strange. I asked if he was okay. And he said that he got bad news at the doctor. Oh, no. And then he started taking anti-anxiety medication. But then he made the comment that it sometimes made him feel drunk.

26:33Dax Shepard:Sure. Oh, boy. At this point, you know, there wasn't too much thought given to it. Nothing was alarming. I just thought he was kind of a weird guy. had some stuff going on.

26:43Monica Padman:How old was he?

26:44Dax Shepard:If I had a guess, I would say like 40.

26:47Monica Padman:Okay.

26:47Dax Shepard:At the time, my husband's former roommate, Bennett, was temporarily living with us. And one day I come home while Bennett was there and the painter were there. And we suddenly hear strange noises coming from the bathroom. Oh, no.

27:03Monica Padman:Oh, wow. Oh, my God. That's a big umbrella, strange noises. Yeah. I

27:08Dax Shepard:I have a clip if you want to hear it. Oh my God, yes. Of course I do. Yeah, okay. Let me play it for you guys. I'll just play a quick snippet. I understand that. You know what I mean? That middle, that middle, the middle, the little, the kid that we hit, kid that we wanted to learn. I know everybody wanted to come and say, we wanted something, something so can. Okay. This is not, wow.

27:32Monica Padman:What I know is that it was going on long enough that eventually you were like, maybe I should record this. And then you did.

27:38Dax Shepard:It's like 10 minutes. That is very unnerving.

27:41Monica Padman:It sounds like a psychotic break is happening.

27:42Dax Shepard:Yes. So we hear this going on. At first, I thought he was talking to someone and I knew he had a young son. And at first, I thought maybe he was on the phone with his kid. But yeah, so after about 10 minutes, I start recording and I texted the owner of the company saying, hey, can you call me or can you call him? Something just feels wrong. And I said, you know, the past couple of days, he's been acting a little weird and he's currently in our bathroom making these strange noises.

28:08Monica Padman:Speaking in tongues.

28:09Dax Shepard:Yeah. So Bennett and I were just kind of outside the door and he eventually comes out. And again, he's saying that he started this new medication that was causing bad side effects, but he was barely able to stand in very incoherent. Bennett and I just trying to keep calm, just trying to talk with him, but also saying you should call someone to come pick you up. You're not in a good state to work and you clearly cannot drive. Yeah.

28:35Monica Padman:It's time to knock off early for the day.

28:37Dax Shepard:While this was going on, I continued to text the owner and I said, hey, I don't really want this guy back until he can kind of get his medication sorted out. Until? You're so nice. Oh my God. This is going to be a wrap on that guy coming to my house ever again. I hope he gets the help he needs, but like, no. So is Conson. Maybe like Midwestern niceness can be too nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

29:14Dax Shepard:The owner responded, he's like, sure thing, I'll send a new painter in the morning. And this is when we noticed some items on the bathroom floor. A syringe. One of our kitchen spoons. No.

29:29Monica Padman:A lighter. Oh.

29:31Dax Shepard:And a makeshift tourniquet made from Bennett's razor cord. Holy shit.

29:38Monica Padman:Shooting dope in the bathroom.

29:40Dax Shepard:This is really extreme.

29:42Monica Padman:This is advanced stuff.

29:43Dax Shepard:Up until this point, I believed it was like a medication thing. And I was like, I don't know. I know people can have all sorts of crazy side effects. That's scary.

29:51Monica Padman:Oh, God, he left all of his works behind.

29:53Dax Shepard:So Bennett stayed with him inside. He's a very nonchalant guy. So he was just kind of chit-chatting with him like nothing was wrong. And I don't think he realized that we noticed. And I just kind of went outside to call the police. And the officers arrived. And immediately while I'm talking to the officer, the painter comes outside and yells, I didn't inject anything. Oh, wow.

30:17Monica Padman:First sentence. The lady doth protest too much? Yeah.

30:22Dax Shepard:Yeah. Yes. So Bennett said that when he was inside with him and the painter saw the squad car outside, He ran into the bathroom, locked himself in there, and flushed everything down the toilet. This is all happening in your home? This is so stressful.

30:38Monica Padman:It's kind of the opposite of when, like, a sage.

30:40Dax Shepard:Yeah. When you clear the house. A cleansing. It included flushing our spoon as well. Like, the spoon we took out of our kitchen drawer. And the cord thing. That part was left. But syringe, spoon. So now you have a plumbing issue on your hands. The police are talking to him. They say, you're clearly under the influence. but they couldn't find anything on him. And so they kind of just said, you can't drive, but you just need to leave. His car is parked outside our house and we live in the suburbs. So he kind of just walked off. I don't know where he went. I keep the owner updated. So I'm like texting him.

31:14Dax Shepard:And again, he's like, I'll send someone new the next day. But I did not feel comfortable with anyone returning without me there at this point, especially because I guess the painter really wanted to come back to the house because he kept saying that he left his stuff there. This is upsetting. I don't like this. So we were afraid that he still had his stash in the house. We had no idea. I did not know what to do. I was 23 at the time. I was a first-time homeowner. This is my first time hiring any sort of handyman service. And so I decided to call our realtor who recommended the company. And he actually was mad when I told him because that same painter did work at his house while his wife was home and pregnant.

31:57Dax Shepard:And he's like, you need to fire this company immediately. So I put their tools at the end of the driveway and I left a voicemail for the owner saying, don't contact me again. Anyone from your company is not allowed on our property. This is the point where the owner becomes very hostile and things take a turn for the worse.

32:16Monica Padman:Oh, wow.

32:16Dax Shepard:We had not paid anything yet. So we paid for the doors and the paint, but there was no down payment prior to them starting work. and the job was maybe 50 % done, but also poorly done. I would think so. This man is on heroin. Yeah. When we took a closer look, the guy had spent a week doing what maybe should have been a day or two's work and we realized they had not sanded anything prior. Nothing was primed. He just came in and started painting over what was there. We later got a quote that it was going to be$7 ,000 to fix the original$4 ,500 job. So then the owner began sending threatening texts about filing a lien on the house, suing for double damages, ruining my credit, saying it wasn't his fault.

33:06Dax Shepard:His worker went crazy. I think it is. You own the company.

33:11Monica Padman:Minimally of the two people involved, one bared more responsibility than the other.

33:15Dax Shepard:Essentially, he was trying to convince me that I was too young to ruin my financial situation over this. Oh, my God. So I was getting these messages and phone calls almost daily, and I just ignored them. I'm like, I'm not dealing with this. We're just going to not respond. To make things worse, a couple weeks later, Bennett, our roommate, was showering, and he stepped onto the bath mat, and he stepped on a needle that was embedded into the bath mat. No. No. And it was embedded in his foot. No.

33:50Monica Padman:Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. This story, this is really wild.

33:56Dax Shepard:Didn't he have to get an HIV test? Yeah. So we had one of those fluffy bath mats. And then when we really shook it out, there was like seven needle tips in there. Oh, wow. That was where he was hiding them all? Maybe. They did a lot of work when we weren't home. So we had to deal with the painter. The owner was being threatening. And then now we were dealing with our roommate who had to get checked out for these things. months of calls and texts from the owner go by and their harassment escalates to now anonymous numbers they were ranging from attempting to make my husband i believe we were cheating on each other they were contacting my parents saying like i know where they live sounds like the owner might

34:38Monica Padman:have had his own addiction too and that the whole gang might party together that's why this owner's

34:43Dax Shepard:an idiot because clearly something very shady is going on. And if you're saying like, we're on to you guys, all we're asking is for you to leave us alone. He needs to run with that.

34:54Monica Padman:Oh, sure. Any rational person would think I have potential liability on my hands. And if I have an option to walk away, I'm going to unless you two are fucked up.

35:03Dax Shepard:Right. So that goes on. And a lot of social media harassment, like we would block all these numbers and accounts and new ones would come up. And I had waited until the window for him to file a lien had passed just so I didn't have to deal with that aspect of it. And then I was like, I'm going to write Google reviews now, report this to agencies. And, you know, at that point, I just felt like there was not much more he could say outside of becoming physically threatening. And I was like, this guy sucks. I'm more mad that this is still going on. Here's my Google review. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew things would probably get worse.

35:40Dax Shepard:And they did. It took a little bit, but we could tell when he finally saw them because then insert all these Facebook messages and essentially was calling us every horrible name in the book, my husband and I saying like, we cost his company over a hundred thousand dollars, essentially blaming his workers' livelihoods on us. And then he actually was threatening his own life because of what we did.

36:05Monica Padman:I wonder if the guy in the bathroom was also the owner. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

36:09Dax Shepard:Unfortunately, they were two different people. So then at that point, we contacted the police and we didn't go the restraining order. They said that might be difficult because we couldn't prove that different numbers and profiles were from him. But they did call the guy and kind of were like, you need to leave this couple alone. And it actually worked because we never heard from him again.

36:31Monica Padman:Oh, wow. This is very upsetting. Is the business still operational?

36:35Dax Shepard:I don't think so. I kind of try to keep tabs peripherally, but they've gotten some other bad reviews. None like mine. Oh, my God. Needles.

36:44Monica Padman:I have a completely unrelated follow up question. I like to make predictions or make big guesses. Are you a big skier?

36:50Dax Shepard:No.

36:51Monica Padman:OK, never mind.

36:52Dax Shepard:What? Why?

36:55Monica Padman:Because her nose is so tan. And I thought, oh, maybe she was wearing goggles and she was skiing recently.

37:01Dax Shepard:I did come back from Punta Cana about two weeks ago. That's the tan. I thought Wisconsin, maybe some skiing. This story, it really got us rattled.

37:11Monica Padman:Yeah, you more than me because you just had a lot of workers and currently have a lot of workers in your house. So for you, it's like really prescient.

37:18Dax Shepard:Well, yeah, but also I just imagine like my home, it's such a violation. It really feels icky. I'm so sorry that happened. I'm glad it stopped. I mean, this almost turned into a stalking story. I would say in a lot of ways it was. You know, it was a crazy time. But that's my sort of cautionary tale is that how much information people can find out about you pretty easily online. Like the things he would say and we would try to figure out, like, how does he know that? Like, how does he know where we work? The lengths certain people will go to was very eye opening.

37:53Monica Padman:Yeah, well, and it's that like classic drinking poison, hoping your enemy dies. Like the amount of time he put into it that he could have been making money instead of chasing this money in his mind he lost. But just losing more because he's so distracted by this thing.

38:07Dax Shepard:Well, as you said, he is not a rational person. He's probably on drugs.

38:11Monica Padman:I hope it's a better. I hope, too. That's just the way. Yeah, exactly. Oh, man. Well, Megan, it's delightful to meet you.

38:20Dax Shepard:Thank you so much. And just real quick, I want to shout out my two co-workers, Kristen and Becca. They introduced me to your podcast. And on behalf of all radiology professionals out there, we would love to see more insert foreign body prompts because we have a lot of these stories. Oh, great. Us too. We love those.

38:40Monica Padman:That wasn't on the list. We should put that in the batch, Rob. They deliver.

38:44Dax Shepard:There's some good ones out there. Wow.

38:46Monica Padman:Well, Becca and Kristen, thank you for turning Megan on to it. Big shout out and lovely meeting you. Bye-bye.

38:52Dax Shepard:Bye. I'm glad I'm not addicted to heroin. I really am. Sure. Some people are.

38:59Monica Padman:That's a good thing to be grateful for, yeah.

39:01Dax Shepard:Hello.

39:02Monica Padman:Jessica, Monica was just taking a moment of gratitude for not being addicted to heroin. I don't know if you want to join that.

39:08Dax Shepard:Yeah, I'm right there with you. Okay, good. Although I hear that it's like a warm bath. I do like bath. Uh-oh.

39:14Monica Padman:Dad, that sounds great.

39:15Dax Shepard:Let's just stick with the bath.

39:16Monica Padman:It's funny because this reminds me of when people are selling me fish really hardcore. They're like, well, swordfish is just like a steak. And I go, yeah, but we have steak. If that's the sales point. And likewise, if you're in search of a warm bath, that's at your disposal.

39:29Dax Shepard:I have a bathtub. I can do it anytime. I just feel like when people are struggling with gratitude, they can go to that.

39:36Monica Padman:Yeah, like I'm gratitude. I wasn't decapitated.

39:39Dax Shepard:At least that would be quick. Oh, wow. You're very glass half full.

39:43Monica Padman:Very, very glass half full. Jessica, where are you?

39:47Dax Shepard:I am in Ohio.

39:48Monica Padman:Okay, keeping it consistent. We've had a lot of northern callers today. What part of Ohio?

39:53Dax Shepard:I am in Norton, Ohio, an hour and a half away from Cedar Point. Oh, in which direction? Southeast. Cedar Point is exactly halfway between me and Detroit.

40:03Monica Padman:Oh, okay. Great.

40:04Dax Shepard:How often do you go? I used to go like once a year, but not so much anymore. I have a lot of anxiety and stuff. It's a lot of people. Yeah, it's hard. A lot of people. The rides make me sick. I like Camp Snoopy.

40:19Monica Padman:But as a kid, boy, what could be better?

40:21Dax Shepard:Even as a kid.

40:22Monica Padman:Okay. It wasn't for me. Maybe you suffered through Cedar Point.

40:25Dax Shepard:Yeah. Okay.

40:26Monica Padman:So you have a remodeling disaster story.

40:29Dax Shepard:I sure do. It takes place in 2014. First, you should know the dynamic between me and my husband is I have crippling anxiety. That's just who I am. My husband, on the other hand, if he gets an idea in his head, he's got to roll with it. Like immediately. He cannot sleep until the thing is done. So our house at the time, this was the first house we ever bought. The house itself, it was small. It was only like a thousand square feet. But our garage, we had a detached garage that was very large and heated real nice. But for this story in particular, he decided one day he just randomly wanted to redo our floors.

41:08We had hardwood floors.

41:11Dax Shepard:Beautiful. So the whole thing. I've got dogs. So I didn't want carpet. This worked perfectly.

41:15Monica Padman:This is the original flooring. When was the house built?

41:18Dax Shepard:50s.

41:18Monica Padman:Okay.

41:19Dax Shepard:When we bought it, it had carpet in it. pristine carpet, but I had a bunch of big dogs, so it wasn't going to work. So we ripped it all up and the floors actually were fine. Like when we ripped the carpet up, it looked great, but we knew eventually we're going to have to refinish them. One day, randomly, he just decides this is the weekend. We're doing it. Me don't like it. I have to work this day. Can't handle it emotionally. So we're in a fight immediately about this. And he's like, no, no, it's fine. We're just going to move all of our stuff into the garage. We got room out there. And then I'll do it while you're at work.

41:55Monica Padman:Oh, this sounds like a plan of mine. Yeah, I can relate. The whole thing will take me 45 minutes.

42:00Dax Shepard:Yeah, he is time blind. I am mad, but I go along and said, I'm like, whatever. I'm just going to move my stuff. It's fine. He can handle it while I'm at work. When I'm at work, I go on break. I get a message and he sent me a picture. he's got the whole garage set up for date night after work candle wine the whole thing he's trying to make me not mad at him also sounds very adhd it's like he was

42:27Monica Padman:starting to do the floors but he moved the shit out there and he's like oh i could arrange this now i'm gonna have a thing like you can't even remember what the project was this is my struggle

42:39Dax Shepard:but love him so he's trying to make me happy at this point so i'm just like whatever i guess i'm not mad. Then he comes to pick me up that night. And at this point in time, I was working retail. So it's like 10, 1030 at night. And I had to work in the morning. I had to open the next day. So I'm like, you know what, let's just pick up some Wendy's real quick, get some food, and then we'll go home and relax at the date night thing they set up. So we get to Wendy's. And as soon as I start opening up my spicy chicken sandwich, I get a voicemail. And I I know exactly what it says to this day. I'll never forget it.

43:13Dax Shepard:It is my neighbor from across the street. And he says, Jessica, this is John from across the street. I don't want to alarm you, but your garage is on fire. Oh, no. Date night candles. Also, why did he light the candles so early? His plan was to light it for the presentation and then get rid of it.

43:39Monica Padman:but adhd right yeah yeah he went to the big moment where the reveal happened and that's

43:45Dax Shepard:where he stopped thinking about it then it was back to the floors so immediately i panic my stomach just drops you know i'm just sick at this point and i'm like our garage is on fire and he's like what i kid you not he takes another bite of his junior bacon cheeseburger like it's nothing so we rush home longest drive of my life and we get there and it's immediate chaos on scene i get out of the car the neighbor lady across the street michelle she's just screaming like there's dogs in there save the animal but remember our garage is not attached to our house so as much as i appreciate that i'm like okay calm down i'm trying to get everybody else to calm down at this point and then the firemen are running out of the garage with like gas cans like this is gonna blow I go into complete anxiety meltdown.

44:37Dax Shepard:I'm like, oh, my gosh, if somebody dies here tonight, this is all because I was throwing a tantrum. You know, so much pressure. Then the fire marshal comes over and it's immediately apparent this to them looks like arson for insurance fraud. We moved everything except for our beloved pets into the garage and then let it on fire.

45:00Monica Padman:Yeah, yeah, this looks suspish.

45:02Dax Shepard:It looked so bad. But luckily, I had the text messages from him. He was like, oh, this is an arson. This is pathetic. Oh, no. So he just feels bad for me at this point. Because in my mind, I'm like, I'm going to jail. I'm not built for jail. So everything that I own just went up in flames.

45:22Monica Padman:No, it was the garage shot.

45:25Dax Shepard:Oh, yeah. Everything was gone. Oh, my God. Husband. What

45:32Monica Padman:he felt bad about earlier in the day.

45:34Dax Shepard:He's still embarrassed. He doesn't know that I'm doing this.

45:40Dax Shepard:But the marriage stood through that big, big, big dilemma. He's got a little Mr. Bean in him, but the rest of him is solid. That's so nice.

45:50Monica Padman:A little Mr. Bean. Yeah, that was 12 years ago. They're still together. I know.

45:54Dax Shepard:I like that. He's my person. Aww.

45:57Monica Padman:Well, Jessica, this was delightful. I mean, terrible for you. Yeah, I'm sorry.

46:01Dax Shepard:Well, thank you. Before I go, though, I do need to say, Dax, thank you so much for creating both Hit and Run and Chips because those are like my two favorites. They're my comfort movies. I rewatched them. Monica, you were great. And Chips also. Oh, thank you. I love them so much.

46:19Monica Padman:Thank you.

46:20Dax Shepard:That's so sweet. Yes. I can say that I was not a first day armchair because I was mad. I thought you were wasting your time. I wanted you to write more movies.

46:31Monica Padman:Oh, that's a wonderful reason to be against the podcast. That's a good reason, but I am glad we got you eventually.

46:37Dax Shepard:It didn't take long. I got to get on board because what are you doing now? Also, I need to do two quick shout outs. One to my sister-in-law because she gave me confidence to do this. She's the best. And also my niece, Olivia. She's an armchair and we're all obsessed with you guys. How sweet. I love this. Shout out to both.

46:57Monica Padman:Okay, Jessica, you should try to get your hands on Brothers Justice, which is the third movie I made, which is much harder to find. But that's the first movie I ever made. Oh, and it's by far the craziest. It's funny, though. It's really funny. It's bonkers, yeah.

47:10Dax Shepard:Literally tonight, I'm going to try and track it down.

47:13Monica Padman:Please do. Okay, well, lovely meeting you. Thank you.

47:16Dax Shepard:You too. All right. Have a great day. Bye-bye.

47:20Monica Padman:Oh, that made me so happy.

47:21Dax Shepard:Great group. That was a good ep.

47:23Monica Padman:Fun bunch.

47:24Dax Shepard:Really fun bunch.

47:25Monica Padman:Marky Mark and the fun bunch.

47:27Dax Shepard:All right, well, I'm now going to run across the street to my house that's under construction. Make sure no one's shooting dope. That's right.

47:34Monica Padman:Okay. All right. Love you. Do you want to sing a tune or something? We don't have a theme song. Oh. Okay, great. We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're going to ask some random questions, and with the help of our cherries, we'll get some suggestions. On the flyer, Rhyme-dish. On the flyer, Rhyme-dish. Enjoy.