Dominic Fike

21:27My brother's good. He's on the couch. His girl's good. My son's okay. My mom's sitting, telling me about the space in a song, like a Justin Bieber song. Because my mom loves Justin Bieber. Come on, who doesn't? Shout out Justin. I was talking to her and she's like reveling in this space of a guitar. So between verses. And it's not like we don't have lighthearted talks. For some reason, this one felt significant. This sentence, like, I love the space here. I think that was all she said. But for me, it felt like a point of departure. It was like, everyone's safe right now. She does not have the weight of a bunch of other things.

22:03She's so comfortable not worrying about babies or rent or food that she's telling me about an understated guitar solo in a pop album. And for some reason, it hit me like I wanted to cry. So I'm thinking I made it to this point. It's always been a little bit stressful. But for some reason, I'm not living like the way I want to. Like a piece of art like Prince would, you know? These stories about these artists that you hear and you're like, oh, it'd be easy to live like that. All you would have to do is make sure a couple of things are in check. So I'm like, what's stopping me from doing that? You know, when you're hanging out with someone you're interested in and you bring them around your old friends and your old friends won't let you be a new guy.

22:32They won't let you progress. Yes, they're threatened by who you might be with this person. So I have that friend in my head that never lets me be different or progress. It's always reminded me of something I did before. And that's why you're not able to do this. Your street cred was fucked back here. You're not this guy. But I'm like, what is this guy? So instead of being like, okay, just can't do that anymore. I'm like, what is this? Why is this? I got a lot of shame too because of this narcissism that was sort of created for me with my cell phone. Like it gave me narcissism. And a lot of people didn't have this opportunity to go look at themselves or how people are interacting with them.

23:07Right now, if you wanted to know someone's opinion of you, you can go get it. Yes. I could go get anyone's opinion of me. It's irresistible. That gives me shame because I constantly have this reference of myself when really there is no reference of yourself. If you wake up today and you want to be a fucking chair, like it's all good. Today I was like, I don't want this shame. I don't want this vanity. So I'm not doing it. And removing that, for some reason, coming back to it like a mantra, like I don't want shame. I don't want vanity right now. The sky is blue and like my stomach is easier. I can talk.

23:35I'm not worried about a microphone in my face or a camera or the imprint for the rest of my life of the words. I don't give a damn now. And it's really good. Have you seen the Jonah Hill documentary with Phil Stutz? No. You should watch it. It's about him and his therapist. Oh, I know about it. Yeah, and he talks a lot about this. So that voice he would call the shadow. And the shadow is created to protect you at some point when you're younger. And then you outgrow it as your life evolves. And the shadow is afraid you're going to leave it behind. So there's this weird practice of thanking your shadow, appreciating your shadow, inviting them to be a part of the new you and then they fight back less.

24:11I know it's a pretty fascinating part of that doc. Giving them form and humanizing emotions. Somatic therapy is big on that. It's helped me with a lot of that. Yeah. For sure. Okay, so during all this chaos, you find, is it Avalon Forest? Yeah. Tell me about Avalon Forest. My childhood was kind of like South Park. The day would start and it's us four friends and we're all like sitting on a stoop and I'd be like, an idea comes and an adventure takes place. And the Forest of Avalon was just one of those episodes of that season. We went to the beach, me and my four friends. We find some weed on a rock on the beach.

24:48Super rare. What a blessing. 14 year olds. God wants you to consume. No one's around. Yeah. We didn't have to go through sketchy drug deal to get it. You know, not get robbed, beat up. Police. It's just on a rock. We just start riding our bikes around because that was our mode of transportation. The bike. The pegs. The shoulders. God, I missed that. Anyway, we're riding around and my home was small and the problems were so present. You could feel it and you addressed them every time you walked in the room. So every time I left the house, it was like, let's get into it. I wanted Alice in Wonderland.

25:20Every time. I wanted there to be some sort of danger. We narrowly escaped. And the Forest of Avalon was like perfect for that. And you know why? Because our arousal setting was set way too fucking high. It takes a lot to wake us up. Yeah, because you might think that if you're coming from chaos, all you want is peace. Is a hammock. Yeah, all you want. But it makes sense. Like, no, that's not the idea of fun when you grow up with the chaos level out of 10. 10 % of my memoirs so far is this field we've lit shit on fire in and we had a rope swing. This is what I'm describing. What was this for you?

25:51Yeah, you just go out there and act like a fucking caveman. Yeah, did you have a name for it? Because I had a name. It made it so much funnier. No, we didn't. It's just the Forest of Avalon. The mystical Forest of Avalon is what we recall. Sounds magical. You'd be laughing every time you said it and you'd hit the joint and call that and be like, you know. So it wasn't a real place. It's just a place in your mind. It was literally an undeveloped lot. It was just a lot that had not yet turned into a writ. Yeah. Where you might be able to make your own society. Yeah. With its own rules. Lord of the Flies kind of deal.

26:18I loved it. Possibility. My dad was an addict and I was like, I'm never going to do anything. And then that failed. But that was my initial game plan. I was like, I know what this does to my family. I'm not going to fuck with it. Did you have any reservations about smoking weed or doing anything? Around the time that it happened, no. But initially, yeah, because I saw my mom smoke cigarettes and I found my mom doing drugs a lot, too. I would find heroin and just put it back. By the time I made it there, I was trying to just keep my hands from not sweating. So if someone's like, yeah, we smoke weed.

26:47That's what we do. I'm like, damn right. That's what we do. And we fucking kiss girls, too. Yeah, yeah. Whatever things I'm supposed to be doing to be acknowledged as a boy. What's that? We hate school? Yeah. Who's an asshole? Right there, an asshole. Yeah, it's just confirmation of your identity with people around you. I mean, we all did that. So when do you start? Well, you start rapping at that point, too. I did, but that was more for fun. We just started getting drunk. One of our friends, Gus, had a rich parent situation in a huge house, and we would go and steal his mom's Kahlua and, like, fill the bottles back up.

27:21Freestyle in the car. This was around the time when Currency was really cool. Lil Wayne was really big. the drought mixtapes or whatever they call them, no ceilings, all that kind of stuff was coming out. And I had this Colombian friend named Jabron, shout out Jabron, who's an idiot, legitimately an idiot. And this guy was only into low B and pissing people off, like teachers, just calling them slurs that they didn't know what they meant from rap songs. So this kid was funny and we would just sit in the car and freestyle all night. And then one time we're drunk as fuck and he turns to me, he's like, dude, you're kind of too good at this.

27:50And like took the mic over and they just started doing fart bars again, you know. And then from that moment, something did kind of flip there. Where you're like, oh, I want to pursue this. I was like, how do you guys not see the paths in the writing? Sometimes they would sing something and do a flow and I'd be like, and I expected them to hit it there and they left. And I'm like, well, no, this is the right way. And I think that was the reason I started making music because there was like a period of time where Weezer music and Jack Johnson music or Chili. Like I hadn't heard a guitarist in like five years.

28:16And so I'm sitting on house arrest. I'm like, well, shit, I guess I could make it. stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare

28:34well let's talk about how do you get to house arrest because yes this is great now the story really takes off we were having a going away party for my older brother i was living with my older brother at this point i'm homeless my mom's in jail so i'm on his couch and i'm just doing little sessions with people because I at this point got a name in my city from just rapping. So people are paying me two, three hundred bucks to do a verse, which is like horrible. But back then, you're going to give me money to eat. Of course, I'm going to do whatever the fuck you want. I'll sing and dance too. I'll definitely rap.

29:04So then I get into this kind of lifestyle where I'm in and out of the studio and partying a lot. And so is my little brother. When my mother was in jail, for a while, we tried to hold on to the house. So he starts car hopping, Like stealing from cars Like we'd get like Carbines and shit And sell them iPads, whatever Sometimes you find Like 10 grand of cash And he's paying the rent For so long And then he goes to jail At what age? Like 16, some shit Okay And he's in there for a while And then he gets out finally Five days out of jail My older brother Now my stepbrother Is going away And he's going to jail as well?

29:31No, he's just going away Oh, okay He's leaving on his own Recognize Right, to jail, right He's just going to travel That's what he just started He's going to Miami Yeah, yeah I think he's going to California To pursue a rap career Oh, wow. Yeah, and we're all excited for him. And my brother is there, and he's drunk. And a cop pulls up for a noise complaint. So my brother starts dipping out. He's on probation. And once you get out, you're not supposed to do anything stupid in, like, the first five days. I know that's a rule for some reason. Drinking underage probably isn't a good look. Oh, my God.

30:01Here we go. This is awesome. This is awesome. Okay. Dude, I shit you not, he runs away. It's an apartment complex. There's a nearby lake. And they have these reeds sticking out of the fucking lake. Yes, yes, yes. Do you know where I'm going with this? Yes, without a paddle. Yes.

30:17He did that. He performed. What did he do? You know, it's from cartoons originally. It's like you go underwater and you can't breathe and they're shooting at you. So you take a read and you breathe through it. You use it as a snorkel. And we did it without a paddle, but it's like a cartoon trick. Here we go. Real life. Yes. Oh, because he saw it without. Yes. Oh, my God. We used to watch it religiously. So full circle. He's doing that. So the cop starts chasing my brother. I'm chasing the cop the entire time, too. So at one point, the cop notices me next to him. I'm trying to tell Alex, yo, slow down.

30:47The cop's not going to do anything. It's fine. I got you. It's good. So the only thing I can think of is trip the cop. Keep the cop from your brother because he's going to go back to jail. Whatever works. Yeah. So he pulls out a taser. I'm thinking this is a fucking gun. Immediately, my instincts, boom. And I knock this dude over. Oh, man. I knew I fucked up. I saw him be embarrassed. You know when a grown man gets fucking embarrassed. Dangerous. Yeah. And he's a cop. Yeah. He fucked me up, boy. And then he put me in that car and then I went to jail. Yeah. And then you got assaulting an officer charge.

31:16Yeah. Okay. And then you get house arrest. How long was that supposed to last? Supposed to be, I think, a year. And then how did you fuck up house arrest? Cocaine. Okay. Crazy. So house arrest really enabled me to focus because I had just been running around. Like I'd been making music here and there, but it was for features. It was like transactional. None of it was real art. None of it was face-to-face with any sort of songwriting. Like I really hadn't even thought about a stanza in months prior to this. So I finally get on house arrest. I'm at my computer. Actually, there was these girls, shout out to Bailey and Kelly, but they just let me live at their house because they liked me.

31:46And you're cute as fuck. Yeah, they're like, you're fucking so cute. And this cute face in our apartment. Yeah, they let me live with them. And I just started making music with them. I had a girlfriend at the time, and I used to play guitar for her. I hadn't played in years, but she bought me a guitar. Like, remember when you used to play guitar for me? I'm like, yeah. So I start playing the guitar again. And then I'm like, shit, I'll make a mixtape with a guitar, though. This time I'll sing instead of rap, and maybe this will be for girls. Turns out it just sparked my entire career. That's all I do now.

32:13I hardly rep. Yeah, it is for girls. It is. We all like it. It's working. It's working pretty well. I have a question really quick. How do you feel, I'm sure you've told your story many times, when people show pity, what does that do to you? Are you like, yeah, that makes sense when people say, oh, or are you like, no, it's fine. Don't feel bad for me. Yeah, I think I've told the story enough times at this point. I've seen all the reactions. Yep. Some of them surprise me. Some of them are comforting to me. Sometimes pity's good. Sometimes you want it. Sometimes when you're telling your story and you're in Europe and you're hungry, you want something to eat.

32:45And this lady's asking you about it and you tell her that and she pities you. She puts a little bit more cheese on that thing. Sure, it can work for you. Yeah. Yeah. Because I can imagine, I feel multiple times in hearing this like, oh, man. Well, don't you feel like I got to take care of this? Yeah. Yeah. There's that. I bet there's a lot of gals attracted to you that are looking to take care. How do you like it? Because you don't love it. I don't like it. No. You don't like it. I don't want anyone to take care of me. But you do. Yeah, secretly. Don't tell anybody, though. Yeah, interesting. Well, I want you to like me and not like me at the same time.

33:19Not like me for the reasons that I want you to not like me. Exactly. Yes, there's a lot of active contradictions. Okay, but you didn't get to cocaine or breaking out of the rest. Oh, yeah. So you're in there focusing and doing wonders for your songwriting, but... But I'm in a room all day and I'm trapped all day. And even now, that's my job. I know that it's healthy to step away. Yeah, isolation is... It's a bitch. So I started using... everything I can. That has a short span in your stream. Coke is like three days, yeah? Is that what it is? I don't know. When I was looking it up, they were like, it's a workout, did I do this?

33:49I wasn't taking a lot of piss tests when I was smoking crack. This may surprise you. I didn't hold any employment. You know what's funny? Me neither, but I think it's something in middle school that you do with friends when it comes to weed. It's like you guys discuss like the shelf life of drugs in your system. I didn't know weed lasts like a month. I know that one. Yeah, everyone knows that. Every guy knows that. Yeah, and meth lasts a while in your system too. But I don't know Coke. Coke's one of the quicker ones. So I'm doing Coke. Yeah. Right? Yeah, because you might take a piss test. I guess you are on house arrest.

34:15That's true. Yeah, I'm bored. And the girls are always at work. And their mom lived there too, but she's always at work. She's trying to get me to go to school. She's like, Dom, you need to do something with your life. I'm telling her I'm making a mixtape. Kid with a face tat smoking dope doing Coke in her fucking department talking about a mixtape. I'm not necessarily investing on that startup. No one gave a damn. No one gave a damn. And then I get called in. and it's right as I finish the last song on the mixtape, I'm up doing coke that night and the dude calls me at 7am another drug test and I'm thinking like oh I just did it, so it's probably not even in there yet what's up Pete give me the cup motherfucker he gives me the cup and I just failed and he put cuffs on me right there, I'd never been so in disbelief I was like really?

35:03well the coke will do that won't it that's the great thing about coke, it makes you optimistic That's why it's a relief. And then I went to jail for a while. And during that time in jail, I released the mixtape. Yeah. So how was the time in jail? You were in county. It's awesome. It was great. I'm not even kidding. Really? I had a good time in jail. Again, this is a stereotype, but I'm worried how cute you are. I'm a little worried about how cute you are. Well, that's scary. I know. I hate to perpetuate a stereotype. Okay. So it's not really like that. I'm a little nervous. Okay. There's this thing called like PETA, PETA, RETA, something like that.

35:32It's some four letter acronym that is against prison rape. Okay. So we got some action in there now. We got some protests. It's huge. It's like dare, but if they kept doing dare. Oh, wow. And it was a huge nationwide. And it worked. And it worked. I had the full long hair. I was like 20 years in there. Oh, no. It was a piece of ass. Yeah. Yeah, there we go. You're a piece of ass. I was. Call it what it is. I was. Yeah, and I was in a violent block because of my charge. My Bunky murdered his family. Okay. Hilarious stuff. The funniest guy. Well, if you can't laugh about murdering your family, then it would be tragic.

36:05What can you laugh at? You can't laugh with them because you killed them all. Oh my God. Wait, how long were you in jail? Like a year. I did have one question. We blew past. Did you watch Florida Project? No, I never watched Florida Project. I was never into people making movies about my town because they always did it wrong. And I just didn't want to be let down and pissed off with Florida Project. I don't think you will be with that. I hadn't seen it when everyone else saw it, but then I loved Enora. So I went back and watched Florida Project. Florida Project's better than Enora. And I love Enora.

36:33Florida Project is fucking - That's a crazy take. It's awesome. Sean Baker's amazing. Oh, he did Florida Project. He did Florida Project. Okay, we love Sean Baker. Yes, and it has this impossible thing that kids have. Once every 30 years, someone captures little kids being little kids. You're like, how did they get this to happen? It's magic. It's like the first time you saw Dakota Fanning. You're like, what the fuck's going on? Yeah, I am Sam. That movie, I am Sam. Drew Barrymore, E.T. E.T. So, you piss hot, you go to county, you release the music. Now, this is so improbable. By the time he gets out, there is a bidding war to sign you.

37:08And you sign at Columbia for$4 million? Mm-hmm. What? I'm in a lot of money. This is up there with him. Kihi Kwan, yeah. Kihi Kwan. Yes. He's on a refugee ship. Oh, wow. Within a year, he's flying first class. The Steven Spielberg. To be an Indiana Jones. Wow. Wow. So, yeah, this getting out of prison to a$4 million contract, how do you compute that? I don't know. It was kind of like the first of its kind in that span of time to happen to this bidding war thing. I'd never been a part of anything like that. Because it was big on SoundCloud, right? You had put it all on SoundCloud. Yeah, I put it on SoundCloud.

37:41And then my manager, Reed, who's still my manager to this day, takes it off real quick because he sees it starting to garner attention. Yeah. We had a couple like suits reach out. We'd never been in contact with anybody like that. I've been releasing music for five years at this point. These dudes start flying from California to visit me in the jail. No. This dude that's like, hey, Dominic, you ready to be a millionaire? And you're like, I'm homeless. I'm not doing this for a penny under$4 million. You can take$3 million and shove it in your... What had happened was my mom is in jail and my dad's in jail at this point.

38:10Both are facing 20 years because this whole time, my family, they're huge heroin dealers. My stepdad, Sean, is a heroin trafficker. We're all chilling at one point. And we'd been doing this for years, living in hotels, selling coke. It worked out. It put me through school. And then all the doors get kicked down at our hotels and at our other houses. And everyone's taken to jail. Marshalls, it's in the news. I'm seeing them both. I'm like, oh, man, they're fucked. 20 years each. So I'm in jail, too. And my sister's up for adoption because of this. And my brother's in jail. And I need to get my sister out of adoption.

38:37I need to get my mom out of jail. And I need to get my stepdad out of jail. So each lawyer for them is 200 grand. And then to get my sister out, I'm still paying for that to this day. So I'm thinking about my position. And I'm homeless at the time. You know, and I need some fucking money. You're in jail yourself. This is my work that y 'all are buying. All this is in my head. It wasn't that I came up with like$4 million. I had never seen money over a thousand dollars. Yeah. So motherfuckers are like 200 ,000. I'm like, that sounds like a not real number, I guess. Cool. I'm not pushing it up. Another dude flies from another label, comes to the jail, says a bigger number.

39:10And then I didn't even know this was a thing. I tell that dude that the guy said a bigger number. Yeah. This motherfucker goes with a bigger number. Yeah. I'm like, wow, I feel like I'm a bad guy. Yeah. Yeah. You're in Jerry Maguire. Jerry Maguire. Yeah, dude, that made me so funny. We get to the point where we're in LA and on top of the Columbia building or the Sony building. Because at this point, Rob Stringer's involved, the dude who owns Sony. He's like, all right, who's this motherfucker? Like everyone's throwing this money around. Who's this guy? He comes to meet me. We're in a meeting. And at this point, I know how to do this money thing.

39:38I'm kidding. So I'm in the room and I'm like playing them songs. And they're like, oh, these are so good. And then I'm like, yeah, well, you never know. And I'm about to walk out. And Rob Stringer's like, so what? Are we doing this or not? Because he's a businessman. I respect him so much. I'm like, well, I don't know. And Ron's like, maybe we could. And he's like, no, no more millions. Are we doing this right now? I'm like, yeah, I'll do it right now. And we just sign it. And we pop a bottle of champagne on this rooftop. It's me, Rob, and a couple of my friends. And then I go into the bathroom.

40:02And I'm like, yeah, I got to piss because all the champagne. And I'm looking at my phone, the bank account. Shouldn't I see the number jump? No way. At the urinal. And then from then on, I just don't remember. It's been like seven years of... Wow. So you initially just blew a ton of money on lawyers. Yes. Were they successful? Only one. My father's still in jail to this day. Mom got off. Crazy probation. I was able to get her custody of my sister back. Yeah. Move her out here. She hasn't worked a day since. Oh, this is great. It's a movie. It is a movie. I got to piss and then I don't want to talk about ether.

40:34Okay, you guys go potty. How'd it go? Okay. Thick ropey stream? We get it all out? Or a weak, thin? Pretty weak. Pretty weak, sure, sure. I know that. My friend, Stefan, was walking by the bathroom when I was like 17. and I was peeing and he was just like, weak. That has stuck with me for nine years. We've talked about this. I think guys, when they go into a toilet and they think other people can hear them, they think people are evaluating how big their dick is by how powerful the stream is. Well, it sounds like they are. Wait, have you ever done that? Think to yourself. Sure. Like I thought, oh, that guy's wrestling a hog in there.

41:13Let's see that. I hope you can keep it in the toilet. But you're right. It's almost counterintuitive because really, if you think, if you had to pass the urine through 18 inches of sausage, that would slow it down. Oh, that's interesting. It's almost like we have the backwards notion. But it really, it's like... If it was just a hole coming out of your top of your balls, it'd probably be like... I mean, it's how big the urethra is. Surely, surely. Not having nothing to do with this. But also how much pipe it's got to pass through. It's going to lose momentum. Unless it's like the early mining hydro projects where it's like the urethra is big at the top and gets narrower, then it would increase the pressure.

41:49We'll look into it for the fact check, as we mentioned earlier. So what is that? I think it's a common. Because I went and listened to a lot of the podcasts. And I actually went far back because I just put it on to sleep, too. Oh, okay. It's good to sleep to. By the way, that's awesome. I'm with you. The media that you can sleep to. Yeah, I agree. To me, priceless. That's biographies for me. Comforting. You ever listen to the podcast, Come Town? No. Are you guys familiar with the podcast? See you in Adam Town? Come Town. Oh, wow. I like the title. Tell me more. Nick Mullins, Stavros Huckus, and Adam Friedland.

42:19They have since disbanded, but they were like the originators of, to me, the comedy podcast. Oh, cool. Okay. And it was called Gumtown. That's a big thing. Yeah, and it was just horrible shit. Non-stop racism. Oh, wow. Okay, so the original Manosphere. Like horrible. Yeah, but now it's different, the Manosphere. Well, also, I heard you say in an interview that Florida has a different sense of humor than L.A. You can go a lot harder. But now the world is kind of like taking... Everyone can say retard now. Everyone likes to say it. It's turned back. Yeah. Yeah, people say that now. That's why they've been saying it in South Park.

42:51They're like, everyone says it now. Cartman's walking around with a shirt that says Woke is dead because he's sad he doesn't have anyone to oppose anymore. That's how I feel now. Sure. People are confused. No one knows what ends, what's up. Was it liberal to say this or conservative? I miss it. Stay in your lane. Play your role. He's a bad boy now. Okay, so. Four million dollars appears in the bank account. Yes, you spend a lot of the money immediately on your family. That's lovely. And then you have your debut studio album in 2021. Yeah. Three nights was huge. That's streamed a billion times.

43:21For sure. So that's their first kind of big hit. If I were you and I had been in jail and these people start flying to see me, I would have the most imposter syndrome possible. Like, they're fucking up. I'm not worthy of flying here. I felt pretty like, I'm in jail. I felt like fucking Al Capone or some shit. I'm like, this is the least imposter-y I've felt. In jail, right. Because you're like, I'm a piece of shit and I'm where pieces of shit belong. You're like, I'm really doing it. I went all the way with this thing People said this is where I'd end up And here I am They were right No, but the notion that I would be worth Four million dollar investment Given your track record Would have been kind of overwhelming pressure The whole time in my mind I'm like, white people are crazy Yeah What the hell The first mail I'm like You're fucking hearing this shit, mom?

44:06Yeah What are you talking about? These white people are nuts You guys are nuts I don't know what you're talking about So did that get in the way of you being creative at all? Feeling like, oh my god these guys just bet$4 million. I mean, I'm never going to have a hit that's going to pay this off. Back then, that was my thought. But really, it fueled so much. The older you get in this industry, you start looking for somebody to jumpstart your shit. You're never using your own phones to pay for your shit, first of all. But back then, receiving money like that, I didn't realize it was like jet propulsion.

44:33It really pushed me into this thing. I'd never seen snow before, too, when I got out of jail and they gave me all this money. So I'm like, let's go get a house in the snow. So I go to the highest point in Colorado. So I started thinking how Led Zeppelin and shit, how they made albums. They would go out and retreat. And I'm like, well, I'm a rap artist, but I just made this rock album. And now people are talking to me about my baselines and about my writing. Maybe I'll just, boom, go into that book. You're trying to figure out what to double down on, right? Yeah, where to double down. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

44:56And so I'm like, well, let's go see Snow. So we go to Breckenridge. I get Cabin. I bring all my friends that are producers. And it's a fucking madhouse. In a good or a bad way? In the best way. I hired one of my friends to be a chef. Guy never. My best friend, Max, his mom died when he was young. And he had his dad who was a good dad, but absent a lot of the time. and I was homeless at this time. And whenever I would come to Max's house and we would need food and our parents wouldn't be there, he would cook us up something. He would go into the fridge and say, oh, here, I could whip us up something like this.

45:23So when I get my money and he's my best friend at the time, like just come chef for me, come chef for the guys, cook on some very sweet story shit. That's what he does. And I'm taking all my other friends as producers, but we didn't realize like the altitude thing. Oh yeah, it's not conducive to great thinking. Oh my God, we're out there drinking whiskey, wine. No, the hangovers at altitude are something else. Oh my God. And also you don't stop to think about your nose. At one point I wake up and I'm like, I can't breathe. And we're supposed to be recording an album. I have to sleep with six humidifiers on me.

45:53So I would wake up soaking wet every morning and like go down and record, get drunk. Turns out this album was actually one of my favorite albums to listen to now. Well, all these things work for a while until they don't work. You're so right. You don't do them over and over again because they didn't work initially. For sure. Yeah, all this stuff is like you get hammered. Oh, I can talk to girls. That worked out great. I now don't have social anxiety. That's cool. I did this and I stuck out for myself. All these little things you build, why it's positive. So that album does really well. And then I want to know what it's like.

46:22You end up singing on a Bieber song. Shout out Justin again. Shout out Justin again. Second shout out of the pod. Yeah, I think he deserves it. Yeah, of course. He does. Something else. I hadn't done any features with anybody. And I still don't really do features. I think the only features I've done is like Remy Wolfe, Paul McCartney, and Justin Bieber. That's pretty solid. How did you get approached? Does he call you? How does he know about you? Okay, yeah. So I'm in Antigua in rehab. Oh, that's where I sent my best friend Aaron. For real? Crossroads. Yeah, I was at Crossroads. Nice. When is this?

46:50What year is this? Yeah, how do you end up in Crossroads? I was dating this really nice Jewish actress lady. I love her so much. Her name is Diana Silvers. Yeah. She was amazing. And we were dating for a while and I... I already know the answer. You already know what happens, right? You cheated. Yeah, okay. Yeah, you cheated and then what happened? And then she said, you need to go to rehab. And I'm like, it wasn't me. It was the drugs that I'm on. Da, da, da, da. Go to rehab. True and not true. Not true and not true. Both not true.

47:18It's funny talking to you because you can't really bullshit, you know? That's funny. So yeah, I'm in a crossroads. This is why the program works. Yeah, of course. I don't have my phone because they don't let you have your phone, but apparently he DMs me. My manager calls me because you get the phone like once a week or something, and I'm on the fucking jail phone. Earning your swimming rights? It was COVID actually. I went during COVID. So did Aaron. I wonder when Aaron was there. What is Aaron? Aaron's my best friend from childhood. And he was there in 2019, Thanksgiving to January 1st, 2020.

47:49You guys just miss each other? It's hard to catch each other. Nobody really stays at those. No one's ever like. He did a full like month and a half. I was proud of him. He accepted the advice to stay longer, which I was happy about. Good. Which no one ever does. No one ever does. Okay. So you're at Crossroads. There was this cheating event. Did you yourself think I have some kind of substance abuse issue? Were you there yet or no? No, because my parents were drug dealers. At a young age, they're giving me drugs. My mom finds drugs, she gives me more drugs. So it's like, I didn't know what normal was.

48:22And as far as I'm concerned, all these normal people don't have as much money as me at the fucking time. I'm like, God, what the fuck is that mean? Yeah, this is complicated. I'm doing it wrong, but it seems to be working pretty well. It's working all right. Okay, so he DMs you. And how do we think he found you? He just heard... Oh, Haley Bieber. He was like, yeah, Haley's been listening. Which is always my point of entry Is somebody's girlfriend That's right So funny Same my friend That's this show too That's how we get any guy Is somebody's wife or girlfriend Of course The 10 % that resist hating our guts They'll join in Yeah I think it's more common to go Fuck this dude Oh he's been molested Maybe Haley should And he's honest about it Oh what a step

49:05Okay so she loved it She loved you Yeah She had been playing it for him And he was like I've been drumming to it for the past month. Why don't you come by and do something? And I'm telling him, like, right now, I'm in rehab. And he's like, oh, that's cool. I know that he's dealt with something. Yeah, sure. He's the coolest guy also. Let me just say that. Oh, please do. Yeah, I don't think anyone knows. We had this faux fight with him in the media, Chris and I. What? With Justin? Years ago. I'll patch it up right now. Call him. Years ago, he was renting a house in this neighborhood. And when he was renting that house, the paparazzi were out in front nonstop for him.

49:39But guess what? if he wasn't around, they'd pick us up because fuck it, they're just there. So it upped our paparazzi interactions a lot. So I think I complained once in an interview that Bieber fucked up our whole scene by moving behind us, but I wasn't mad at him. It's not his fault. That got perpetuated into a little thing. Did he think you were really mad? I think maybe he thought that for a minute because then he had to respond. Well, imagine being the dude that everyone's like, he's a lesbian, he looks like Ellen DeGeneres, you know, for years. Anything that pokes you is probably like, well, fuck him then.

50:07Yeah, yeah. You know, I completely understand. But I've since spoken very favorably about it. And he did DM me once. Interesting. But I missed it by two years. I didn't realize you could look at your DMs. He's not good at the end. Anyways, I think he's radical. He's sick. He just dropped an album. Oh, he did? Like last night or today. Oh. Swag 2 is what it's called. When you look at him, what quality do you go like, oh, that's the thing I need? Well, I say this all the time. So when we worked together, I finally get out of rehab. We go to Henson. We're in the studio. This is the Muppets Henson?

50:37Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'll say yesterday. Right here. Yeah. What was it originally? A &M? Precisely. Yeah. Look at you. So yeah, I come through there. I'm actually with the girl that I was dating, the Diana girl. We're back because I'm back from rehab. You did what you were supposed to do. I did what I was supposed to do. She's my ex-girlfriend now, if you can. Yeah. We're gathering. We still are. We're not really not a rekindling. Life is long. She's there, which was insane. You should see how girls look at Justin Bieber, even if they're your girlfriend. It was crazy to see. I was like, damn, do I do that to people ever?

51:05Yeah. You were doing it to Haley. That's true. Exactly. This is a push. That's right. Her eyes turned black like a shark smelling blood.

51:16Good for him. What I do admire about him is he is an athlete with it. When he shows up, it's like seeing Michael Jordan or Kobe step on a court. He's warming up. I mean, I don't dance, but this motherfucker can like pop and lock. So when I write, I was just like, leave me alone. And I'm singing it over to myself in my head and I'm going to need some time. Everybody's kind of got to do your own thing. Don't look at me. Act like you're doing something, even if you're not doing something. Probably don't do anything because it's going to be too loud and interrupt me, but act like you are. Yeah. And he's there and he's like, Dom, you know, I think you should do this harmony.

51:42He'd be like, huh? Like hit the harmony. And I would just be like, okay, I guess. Because some artists you work with, they're just like, man, it's all good. Like we just do whatever. It's music. It's a free love. Bullshit. This man took a jersey off. I was like, uh-huh. And I was like, whoa. Time to get to work. I love that. Yeah. And it's still love for it. It wasn't like it's transactional. I'm not a musician, but on the outside, I can see where there are a handful of people who their voices are so great. Like, I don't know a lot about Sinatra, but I think everyone wrote his music. That's not his thing.

52:12Sure. But you start to see, let's just say Timberlake leaves his boy band and he ends up with the Neptunes. And that first album is what it is. And it's incredible. And then you wonder, I wonder how much is Justin and how much is the Neptunes. And then over time, it starts to surface. Oh, no, it's them clearly, right? Because that's Bieber. no matter who he works with, which he works with a lot of people, the quality ends up being there, which leads me to believe, yeah, he has some kind of work ethic. He does have that. In the people that do sing and not write their own songs, you would expect that quality to always be present, but it's not.

52:45And he has it in, you know, what do people say? In spades. That's what they say. He has, yeah, so much of it. I'm impressed. Okay. So you work with him. Then Euphoria comes. How do you get approached for that? And had you ever considered acting? I'd never considered acting at all. I actually didn't want anything to do with acting. I was doing a Triple J performance called Like A Version where you have to perform another artist's song. So I performed a Claro song. But what I did was I wore a wig because I was like, I'm a girl. I was also just high as fuck. So I was just like, whatever. Okay, so the rehab had not stuck.

53:15Yeah. Okay, great. Good to know where we're at. It did erase the cheating, but it didn't cure the addiction. Okay, great, great, great. Every time. So I start playing that and I guess one of the casting agents for Euphoria, her name was Jennifer Venditti. She saw that video and was apparently intrigued called me. I didn't know what Euphoria was. I didn't know it's this big fucking TV show. I don't know who Sam Levinson is. I don't know who fucking even Barbie or Zendaya or any of the girls. So the night before, I was reading about some actor who did his thing fucked up or something. Maybe it was a week before.

53:47So I stayed up all night with this girl, drinking whiskey, taking shrooms. I show up to the audition or the read beyond fucked up. I'm just laughing at Sam and everyone's laughing at me because I'm just laughing at them. And I'm like, what is this script? I'm like throwing shit around and calling Sam like you wearing a fucking dress dude talking to Sam because he's wearing a dress and I was like 30 minutes late. I'm like can you do this and I was like I don't know probably and we start reading it but then the words start jumping around on the page. I was like I can't do this script and they were like Dom just go get rest and they were so mad at me.

54:14I remember they called my agents and were like this kid's never doing anything in Hollywood again ever. We're so mad but then I guess I posted something like a month later that was like it's not about what you do. It's what you do moving forward that really is going to define and it wasn't in reference to that. But I think that Jennifer saw that. And I think I was living in a different way at that point. I was trying to like buckle down. They call me back. It was like a year later. And Sam had written a part for me. Sam had rewritten this character that I showed up to read, but he wrote it with the qualities of the guy you saw show up.

54:41So he writes this guy that's like half his character and half the dude that showed up that day. And then I was honest with him. He has a meeting with me. He's like, okay, I know that you get fucked up. Obviously, you have some problems. I have those problems too. We can get someone to help you. But you have to do this. You sign a five-year contract. It's just a formality. But he's like, I need to know that you're not going to like fuck me on this. I was like, brother, got you. This time I'm not understanding the stakes still of this show. And then we get into filming it. You find out real quick when you see that budget.

55:09Yes. When you show up and there's like 20 semis there. Yeah. And then you meet all the people too. And you see actors really take this shit serious. Because I'm here. I'm just like, I'm just doing another whatever. Which is like a self-defense mechanism. For sure. If I suck. I told you I don't care. Yes, so true. That was definitely what I felt. And did you feel pretty natural pretty quick? Because you hit the ground running. You were so good immediately. I was rooting so much for you guys. Such a good character. Damn, thanks. I love I wanted he and Rue to be together so much. Oh, really? Did you write that song?

55:43No. Labyrinth wrote that song. Sam had asked me to go write a song, and I wrote one. I mean, I had like overdubs, and I didn't know what he meant. Something that couldn't be done in a room. He was saying, write a song on the guitar. So then I get this song Labyrinth makes and it's gorgeous. And I was like, I'll sing that. Yeah, I was going to say, was it hard to admit? Like, yeah, this is pretty solid. It's better than that. The song that I wrote for it is still good, though. I listen to it sometimes. Okay, great. Well, I heard Pharrell getting interviewed by somebody at some conference. And I was relieved to hear that Happy, that was like his 16th attempt at the theme song for that movie.

56:20Yeah, Happy Feet. For Happy Feet. Happy was a theme song for Happy Feet? Wait, this is not sounding right. No, it wasn't for Happy Feet. That was a theme song for them? Oh, it's for Despicable Me. That one? If you feel like happiness is the truth. Despicable Me 2. Okay, got it. So the first album, he wrote all these hits, goes away to do the second one, and every time he submits, they're like, that's not it. I've been there. It's such a relief, I would imagine, for people to know that Pharrell sometimes has to stand up at the plate 16 times, and that's why he's Pharrell. He didn't go, well, no, I'm better than this.

56:52The end of that story, I think, is that he basically said, no more. No more. Like, I've done it this many times. But he came up with happy. Yeah. And he's like, well, this is it. This is it and we're not doing it again. And then specifically, he told the president of the studio, I need you to drive around in your car and listen to it. Something about driving around in the car. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

57:27You realize when you work in music, all these dudes are super normal dudes and they're just like you and I. This Danny Elfman dude, just like the Omar Apollo dude sitting next to me, the only difference is this dude was down to do 15 tries of it for 15 plus years every day. That's the only thread that I find connecting all the people that I admire. It's not that this person drinks this type of water or this person wakes up and shits excellence genetically. It's that this person just didn't fucking stop. That's so true. I heard you say that you were almost kicked off the show a bit for your drug use.

57:59What was the consumption at this point? Doing a lot of coke and a lot of weed. It's really good. Great stuff. Smells so good. Smells great. It does smell so good. It must be hard for you, though, because if everyone's like, you're doing so good and you work. Yeah. That character's incredible. How then do you— What's broken? Why am I fixing something? Again, same with you go to jail and then you get$4 million. How do you right size that and say, no, I really need to get my act together because your act is working. Yeah, well, it was kind of like if a dude gets like a cool cut on his arm and then they put a bandaid on and the bandaid's like transformers.

58:31I was like, what do you mean? I'm doing great. Transformers Band-Aid. But then you take it off and there's a fucking gash in your arm. That's kind of what it was. All this money. This is a temporary fix for something that I need to actually go and heal. I would kind of be better about going on camera super fucked up. Like I would space it out. Like my weed would be like 50 minutes. I put eye drops in. The thing about getting fucked up on set was like people imagine that I'm just constantly talking to Sam and Zendaya and Hunter fucked up. I was in my trailer all the time. You fucking know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

59:01insufferable. You're in there all day. And then at the drop of a day, you know, you got to be there. That was the funny part is when you are in the middle of doing something and they're like, you're on at five. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were signed on for a season three. Is there a season three of that show ever? No. Yeah, I actually just did some of it. There is a season three. Yeah, they're filming it. I was just talking to Hunter. She's filming it. Oh, I was afraid. Nah, they're going hard. Oh, good. I love that show. Rosalie is in it, I know. it's such a good show it's such a harrowing show a good friend of mine is on that show Dane he's going through some I saw some shit about her yeah it's heartbreaking it's crazy because you know I met him he's like a superhero yeah yeah totally heartbreaking okay when you sang to her I know people hated that scene what who did you didn't see me get roasted on the internet for that no the whole internet just blew up about me doing that what were they mad about they were just like Why is this guy singing?

59:58I'm trying to see the rest of the characters' arcs because it was kind of at this point when everything was like imploding. Yeah, the culmination of all this drama is happening right now. And then it cuts to me being like, you want to hear some shit I wrote? No, it's beautiful. They thought it was too time consuming. Yeah. Which just goes to show where we're at as humans. Yeah, that's upsetting. You know what even more goes to show? It's like every conversation's happening and you have to find the ones that are bad, really. Because that in our world. Oh my God. No one thought. I've never even heard that.

1:00:27I was blown away. And also, that's so dumb because it's also about her. It's a very human moment. Totally. We wouldn't want to skip that. No one was trying to see that. They were trying to see, like, Animal Kingdom. Jesus. The girls fighting with the hair. They wanted to see that. Oh, my God. Have you seen the user interface? Have you seen Amazon lately? You ever just go into any streaming service? Do you see what it is? It's just, like, yacht murder. This person was discarded in the back of a fucking Popeye's. And they used her as a rug for eight months. and here's the doc about it. That's all it is.

1:00:57I love it all. And that's how you know where we're at as humans. Yeah, you're right. Before it was like Charlie Chaplin like slipping on banana peels. Yeah. We outgrew that. We needed something more radical. Well, I can't be the first person that would compare you to him, but Mac Miller. A lot. That's got to be a tremendous compliment now. Yeah, it hurts though because he's dead. I know. Sure, you can take it a different way. I loved his music and I felt like we were really close to working together. I'm managed by the same people who managed him. And I know a lot of his friends. Have you done a tiny desk?

1:01:27I've not done a tiny desk. I was supposed to, but I didn't sleep the night before I was coked out. And so I missed it. Right, right, right. These things happen. They do. Where are we at with the drugs now? Good. Was there an event? Was there anything exciting that was like, okay, these are getting more dangerous. You have a child. That was a big one. We would like that to help. You know what's funny? That wasn't the thing. No, it's not. It's worse. It's worse. I'm glad. That's honest. I've seen so many dudes in sobriety think that when their kid arrives, that's going to be, it's harder. More stress in your life.

1:01:57It is. And you also get this thing. It's like, all right, well, he's won now. Maybe I got three more years of this. And then it's boom. Yeah, he'll remember all these things. It's a fallacy to say there's a bottom because I've had a dozen bottoms. But certainly I did have the profound moment looking in a mirror at a bar trying to get well enough to make my flight where I was just like, wow, man, you got everything you wanted. And you're the most miserable you've ever been. What is broken? Know that feeling. You got all the stuff now. So what is it? Crazy feeling that one. It's scary. For me, because I was like, oh, if I get rich and I'm famous, I got no problem.

1:02:30Yeah, you think that. And then it feels like a man on the edge of the world. When you're in that mirror, you're like, what? Why don't I like what I see? Yeah, what happened? Yeah, it's scary. It sucks. Then you got to figure out what the fuck's broken. Yeah, man. I was in Paris for fashion week and getting after it. No shortage of drugs and women in Paris. I end up staying up too late. And I have to go to Rome for a week and a half. Supposed to be great. Rome's beautiful. This is the most miserable I've ever been. I'd run out of Xanax, which I've been taking for like six months at this point. So I had like a psychotic breakdown.

1:03:01I didn't sleep for three days. I'm up screaming, crying, throwing shit at the walls, breaking things, screaming at people, calling people pedophiles. I was just going to say people know from watching movies that kicking dope is hard. I don't think people understand how absolutely horrendous kicking benzos is. It's the devil. Xanax and all the benzos, they seem so innocuous. It's like, oh yeah, take one and it's fine. Yeah. But it's when you've taken them for 30 days straight and you're up in your dose, it fucks up your brain pretty severely. People take them for years. And I look at it online.

1:03:32It's like, you're supposed to take these for this amount of time max or else it can be serious. Yeah. I think I took them for six months. Getting off of them, I almost died. Having seizures, flashes, fucking all that. I'm freaking out. And then I just ruined this trip for everyone in Rome. and by the time we get back to LA, I'm like, okay, I'll stop doing it. Turns out I am fucked up. You go so long thinking that you kind of maybe can get it under control and there's always this stretch of time when it really feels like you're doing it. And boy, does that ground come up fast. Then you're in Rome and you should be happy and the people around you should be happy and you're miserable and they're all miserable.

1:04:04Yeah. How many times do you go to treatment? Like four. Wow. I went to Cirque twice, crossroads once, and then seasons. I also did some recovery in jail to get out quicker. What's your favorite part of it? What's your least favorite part? My favorite part of it is, you know, what I was talking about with the dude that's your friend that kind of won't let you progress and change. You show up there and no one knows you. So you get to create this person. And then when you leave, you get to be that person because your friends, even waiting back home, expect a little bit of change. Everyone gives you the grace to change at the same time, which rarely happens in life.

1:04:36It's always different times. Everyone's on a different schedule. When you go to treatment, you're a baby again. I love that part of it. And they give you the opportunity to change. You're like, you're sure I can change that? Go ahead. And then you do. And it's amazing. I love that part. My least favorite part is, and there's no really bad things about it. If you look at it from you're about to die. It's all great. But there's a couple treatment centers that get a little clicky, which is human. But I think if there is a way to eliminate that, which is funny because I'll be in the studio and I'll be like, I need a guy here to do high hats.

1:05:05Just do high hats, but not talk. Prefer like he doesn't eat or drink water. And they're like, so you want a human, but to erase his humanity. That would be ideal. Exactly, exactly. It would be most efficient for me. That's kind of how I feel about rehab. I'm like, if we could just eliminate the human part of it, it'd be amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of parts I would have wanted to get rid of. The God part. I'm like, what are we doing here? For some reason, that isn't a big thing to me because I like that challenge. Where I got to it was like, you're so bogged down in the logic of it all.

1:05:36As opposed to, this is an act of humility. You lack humility. You need some fucking humility and you need to ask for help and avail yourself to help. And that is one act of doing that. And even more so if you don't believe in it. I get it. It's an even cooler test for me. I got to be that humble to participate in something I don't necessarily believe in otherwise. I think that's good. Saintly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you going to act more other than euphoria? Would you like to? Yeah, I want to act more. I've been busy with music, but I'd love to act more. I have an acting agent, agency as well.

1:06:07I bet you're very represented. I'm busy. I'm away for months at a time. The kid. I'm down to do more acting. Some musician just told us, it was a female. She said, there's this illusion that you can do both, but you absolutely can't. Like to promote, to record it, then to promote it properly. Oh, it was blonde. Beautiful. Buxamine. I don't even know who you're talking about. Just describing her in porn categories, like ivory. She was ebony. She had light skin and white hair. You're like the driven snow. Everyone was crying. Dove Cameron? Dove. Dove Cameron. Dove said that. You have a similar vibe.

1:06:41Musicians. Musicians, baby. Yeah, did you get along with Zendaya? Yeah. Zendaya's great. She's very much Michael Jordan. Okay, but let me ask you this, because you're kind of a scumbag like me. Yeah. And I look at her as like a goody-goody. Oh, yeah. I would have been so triggered by like, I bet she thinks I'm a piece of shit. So funny. That is why I really just wanted to skip over this part of it. I was just like, I already know any mention of her name. I don't know. If she sees it, she would look at me like, oh, fuck. I already know. I knew who I was on that set. And I think that kind of affected the way people felt about me too.

1:07:15But again, it's a little bit of that self-protection. Exactly. It's like, I already know I'm a piece of shit. I know a piece of shit. You cannot be any lower. But they can. I'm not taking this serious, but I am. She probably has more grace for you than you. Maybe. Yeah, I imagine. She's great. Tom Holland maybe is a secret scumbag. I'm on stoke. We'll find out which would be great. I hear he's the coolest. I actually like him. He's funny. We hung out a couple times. One night, I'm not even fucking with you. I go out to this bar. I'm with Tom Holland for some reason. Tobey Maguire's there. It's just me, Tobey Maguire, and Tom Holland.

1:07:45To the Spider-Men. To fucking Spider-Men. I'm just realizing the connection here. And I'm just, between them both, I was like, dude, this is awesome. Like, literally like this. And I'm like, can you guys do the meme? And they both did the Spider-Man meme. Hell yeah. And then we're all just like, oh! That's exactly what you would expect. That's awesome. Well, it's a delight to meet you. Thanks for coming. As I said, you're even cuter and personal. Thanks for having me. I've never done a podcast. This is your first podcast? And I watch them a lot. I'm going to guess your favorite. I get one guess.

1:08:17I'm going to guess your favorite. Theo. I love Theo. Not your favorite. No, come city or whatever. Well, MSSP really is good. Matt and Shane's secret podcast. MS. MSSP. Shane Gillis and Matt McCusker have a podcast. I love Shane Gillis. It's great. It's good to sleep to. But like I said, this one's really great. Thank you. We're going to keep at it for a little while longer. It's a good thing y 'all got going. Please make that fucking season three of Euphoria. I love it so much. I'll make it myself. Yes, it's on you. Call everyone and go like, let's pick up the fucking pace. We don't need 10 hours on our camera.

1:08:45What are you guys doing? They're like filming it. All right. Well, could you go faster? All right, brother. Well, great meeting you. Nice to meet you. And good luck with everything. Thank you very much. Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong.

1:09:04It's cloudy out. Is it? To me. Are you sure? We just outside, it felt sunny. When I woke up, it was cloudy. And then the weather app said cloudy all day. Oh. And you're right. We were outside and it didn't seem cloudy. It felt a little bright. But in my heart. It's still cloudy. This is my argument against sleep data. Yeah, I understand. Yeah, I've already laid that out. Yeah, of course. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yes. I'm with you. You need to do a sleep study? Cool. You need to find out what's going on. Yeah. But just waking up every morning and having a device tell you basically the limits of how good your day can be.

1:09:43Yeah, I agree. I'm against that. Yeah. So I think that happened with the weather app. It was like you woke up, it was cloudy, and then you're like, it's going to be cloudy all day. And then you click into that gear. Yeah. We've had really weird weather this summer and going into fall, and I'm very grateful for it. Yes. Yes, notoriously, Los Angeles is at peak heat in September. Yep, in the beginning of October. And it's scorching. It's always over 100. Yeah. It's miserable. The AC can't keep up with anything. You're damn near dead in your apartment with one fucking window unit in your kitchen.

1:10:21Yeah. But also another thing that won't interest anyone is we have a season which is marine layer season. End of spring, early summer is marine layer. So all the way to like one or two in the afternoon, it's always overcast, which keeps the heat down in June. It's nice. But we've been in marine layer almost all of September. Interesting. Which is interesting. And then it also said it was going to pour today, right? It did? It said it was 80 % chance it was going to rain, but that didn't happen. Because I keep looking out my bedroom window on the second floor down at the roof of the guest house, and there's so many leaves in the gutter.

1:10:58and I go, I got to leave, blow those out before the rain comes. And then I was like, it's coming Wednesday. I got to get. And then I went to the store. I didn't do the leaves. But then it broke. So maybe you. It's the sim. Because it's like, oh, he's not ready yet. He hasn't done the leaves. So we have to hold off on the rain. That's nice. So maybe the whole state will be like, please clean up your leaves. We need rain. Um, I'm good. We need rain because it's fire season. You're right. You're right. Marine layer. Shout out. gray clothing brand. Oh, yeah. I have some Marine Layer. Yeah. We used our sweatshirts.

1:11:32If you have an old armchair expert Christmas once a year limited edition sweatshirt, chances are it was Marine Layer. Yeah. Speaking of, not yet, but we will have a new merch situation very soon. So keep your ears and eyes peeled for that. Monica's been using all of her style prowess to To come up with a whole new set of designs. Yeah, we're working with a new company who's very well-versed in merch. Yeah. And we've all been working together to come up with some nice basic pieces. Basics. And I think they're going to be really cute. It's not, I guess it's a little bit of a cock tease because it's not available yet.

1:12:18But it will be. I don't know that I, how often do you say cock tease? Is that new? No, I said it. Okay. Somebody listening, please go back into all the episodes and see how many times I've said it. Ask AI. I guess normally I say a tease, but it means cock tease. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think I said— There's rungs of the intensity. You could say, she's a tease. He's a tease. She's a dick tease. I've never said that. He's a dick tease. Never said that. She's a cock tease. That's like triple X, full-blown, full throttle. Dick tease sounds. Like dick cheese? Yeah. I don't like the sounds of that. It's like onomatopoeia.

1:13:02I like it all. It sounds like someone's teasing it. They are, but then they walk away. But then they walk away. But that's much better than nothing. Is it? The dick tease is always framed as something negative. But I would way prefer some like teasing than to nothing. Oh, yeah. People really act like it's the worst thing you could possibly. Blue balls. Blue balls. Exactly. It's kind of a patriarchy thing because it's like these women, they come and they just like tease and they tend to their sirens. And then they walk away. And then these poor men have these huge balls that turn blue. Also, we just had a guest on whose mother was like, you gotta.

1:13:42Oh, it was that terrible doc we watch. Oh. The hoarder? No, the unknown number. Yeah, although did we have someone? Oh, you also did the mom with the hoarders. Her mom was telling her, like, you got to jerk these guys off. Oh, my God. She was and she gave her a vibrator for Christmas in front of her brother and dad. Father. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Maybe that woman had a little bit of munch houses, but just didn't have the Internet. Didn't have. It was too lazy to pull it all off. Yeah. Well, she had hoarding also. I mean, she had a lot to handle. She had a lot going on. Although that unknown number lady, when we see her house because of the body cam, it doesn't look organized.

1:14:24Oh, it doesn't look organized. It didn't look bad, though. Really? I felt like it looked rough. I was expecting to see something worse. Yeah, I had my expectations very low. I wonder if people have watched it since we've talked about it. Great, Doc. I went to the Emmys. Yes, you did. I wrote that down. Tell us. Yeah, I went to the Emmys. We also went to this party called the Night Before Party, which raises money for the MPFT fund. Okay, that's motion pictures, arts and sciences, televisions. Yeah. We haven't been in probably 12 years. Really? Yeah. The last time we went was the time that we were hanging out with Amy and Tina.

1:15:08And the next day we were on a walk and Kristen just said, I'm just not funny. Yeah. Well, that was a long time ago. Yeah, I think it was at least 12 years ago. Maybe more before Lincoln. Before I was even born. We went because the beautiful Adam Scott and his wife Naomi were official hosts of it. Yes. Friend of the pot. Friend of the pot. Friend of just real-life friends. We just adore those two. And, yes, so we went, and that was—it was fun. And— Uh-oh. Okay. I was reminded—I have the same anxiety of any function with a lot of people, which is, like, you're going to see a lot of people you like.

1:15:49and then you're not going to be able to really talk to them. You're going to have like three minutes of small talk, which is not my favorite. Then someone else is going to walk through that everyone knows. Then we're going to start the cycle all over again. I hate this too. Yeah, so it was really fun to see everyone that I watch on TV. That part was fun. Yeah. I did get to chat with Ben Stiller for a while. Oh. And that was fun. Friend of the pod. Friend of the pod. And I'm a friend of his pod. Oh my God. I feel his sweat. it's on me he was really sweating then because we've been sitting Monica's sitting on the exact same spot that our guest who just left was sitting and he's very sexy he is very sexy a sex machine yeah and you're now in his sweat do you kind of like it?

1:16:35I like it yeah I bet I don't smell it which is cool you just feel it his sweat doesn't smell his sweat's a back tease which makes sense because you're getting a back tease right now this person has to sweat a lot for their job or did. They work in a steel mill. And so his sweat is evolved where it's just releasing water to keep cool, but it's not stinky at all. No. Wow. So then you got the Emmys the next day. Wait, I want to stay on the party for a second. Oh, okay, great. Okay, because parties, these parties. These parties. They're fascinating. And I think they're relatable to anyone as an adult going to a party where you don't know people or you kind of know people or you know some people.

1:17:20You're trying to figure out how to maneuver through and you don't want to be by yourself. And it's all very fascinating. Mixed with, it's actually like being at a high school party because there's popular kids and there's crushes and there's like all these dynamics going on. A lot of dynamics. There was a Netflix Emmy party after the Emmys, day of that Anna went to. Okay. And she didn't get a plus one. Okay. Or yeah, she didn't get one and then she didn't ask for one, which mistake, you got to. I always am the plus one, so I don't know the rules. But that's what you do if you get invited and you ask for a plus one.

1:17:59No, you are married. So if you - I'm the plus one. No, either way, either you're the plus one or she's the plus one. Sure. There's no like issues. It's just built in. It's built in. If you're inviting Kristen, you have to invite me. Yeah. Yeah. And vice versa. If you're a single person, you kind of have to make sure you ask for a plus one at events. Okay. Which I've learned over time. Okay. So she went and she was like so, like for like a week, she was so excited about this party. Oh, good. Oh, yeah. Also, Ana, our friend, is so fun, right? She's the funnest person. She loves a party. She's always in a great mood.

1:18:39She's got a zest for life. She's just ready. She's just going to say yes to anything. She'll do anything. She's so fun. She's normally my plus one because of that. Because she'll always say yes. Yeah. And then she's just easy at the place. Yeah. So she was so excited. And I had this sort of feeling like, God, I mean, Anna's, of all people, she can like handle a party by herself. Yeah. This is, if anyone could pull this off, it would be her. For some reason I had this, I was like, I don't know why I don't, I feel like this like might not go very well. I didn't, and I didn't want to say that or anything.

1:19:16You don't want to jinx her or yuck or yum. Yeah. And also at one point, she was like, I wish you could come. I was like, yeah, this gets complicated because I, of course, want to be embraced and invited to things and it's lovely. It's so nice. However, I am not a person that feels super comfortable going to a party without needing to be there. Right, right. Yes. Like, I don't want to just be invited to a party unless I'm in a show that's represented there, or I'm like, obviously, I went to the SAG party because I was a part of that show. Yeah, yeah. Things like that. But I'm not interested in just like going to a party to see him.

1:19:51Crashing a party, kind of. Yes. Although you do want to go to the US Open and see him be seen. Of course, but that's like fun. Okay. That's watching tennis. Yeah, yeah. And I'm obviously bringing a plus one. Right. Anyway, but even that, like, no, I would not want to go by myself. Right. Even if I was invited. I would feel so uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable. You feel like a loser. I know. And you shouldn't. You shouldn't. You should feel great. We've talked about this. I used to go to eat all the time by myself, and I loved it. I didn't give a fuck. I was like, I think many people are like, that guy's pretty cool.

1:20:25He doesn't care. Yeah. And being recognized has made me feel a little less comfortable. I'm now back to enjoying it. Yeah. But I do feel like people will go like, well, that guy must actually be a loser because he should have a friend. No, I think that's— On TV and doesn't have a friend. That's not the same thing as a party. Okay. All right. All right. Okay. I love going. No, I was more U.S. tennis open. Oh. There I would feel like people would be like, why is that? Right. That guy's on TV. Why is he by himself? That's more adjacent to a party. Right. Okay. Oh, there's so many layers. So, yeah.

1:21:00Anyway, I'll have to say she goes to this party. Yeah. She's there for like 10 minutes and I start getting texts. Right. Oh, no. no, no one's here. Like no one from the show is there. Or some people were there, but they were not talking to her. I'm standing at this table by myself. And I said, well, go sit at the table. And she was like, no, I feel better just standing at the standup table. And, you know, and she was like, and I'm going to have to drink. I'm going to have to keep going to the bar because I feel comfortable. You know, these things that start happening. And I thought, I was like.

1:21:33You start getting very self-conscious. So self-conscious. You start feeling like, oh, I'm leaning on this thing. Does that look right? Should I have my hand in my pocket? Do losers lean? You almost like short circuit as a robot. You do. And it's so human and - Relatable. Relatable. It's like going to a wedding by yourself and you're just standing at the standup table. I'm like hoping. I just think like I'm too old to do this ever. I went to - Oh, I went to a birthday party recently. that was sort of like this. And I hadn't felt it in so long. I'll shout it out. It was Ashley who owns all... No, but ding, ding, ding.

1:22:19Elizabeth Olsen was at this party. Wow. Yeah. So Ashley from all time had a birthday party and it was in this like cute side room at all time. And I don't know why. I didn't even think twice. I was like, oh, it'll be, this is fun. I'll just pop in. And I got there and I was immediately, I was like, what have I done? It's an immediate feeling, yeah. And now you're like, I got to walk out of here, but that's going to be awkward. I've got to like save face and spend 10 minutes here. Exactly. It's all going to go downhill once you feel that way. And those 10 minutes are 40 hours because you're figuring out at least, okay, first I'll go get a drink.

1:22:56That takes some time. Then I'm going to act like I'm going to the bathroom, but I'm going to leave then. No, I don't. I didn't leave. I couldn't leave. Like I had to at least stay to engage with her, but she's obviously talking to people. And then I'm like looking around, like, who do I know? Oh, I kind of know that girl. But she's in conversation. And so I'm kind of like, you know, you're kind of like. Saddling up next to. Yep. You're doing that or you're kind of trying to get in their eyeline and like, hi. So that they'll like ignore whoever they're talking to to talk to you. Why would they do that?

1:23:28So they're kind of, they kind of just nod, just acknowledge you. And then you're still standing there with your wine. Yeah. Oh, my God. It was so bad. It's kind of crazy that being a social primate that we do all feel that. I mean, I guess that's what we're feeling is like, oh, there's a group and we're not in it. Yeah. It's very uncomfortable. It was so uncomfortable. And it is so the human brain is so interesting depending on your place in time and where your location, places you feel comfortable versus places you don't. it was so wild. Finally, my friend Mara came. She just happened to be there.

1:24:09Mara Rosak, incredible hairstylist. Shout out, Rose Hair Products. They're great. A lot of people reached out about that towel I talked about because my hair was looking so good. It's sold out. But they are going to maybe bring it back for the holidays. Oh, okay. So, a lot of sidebars. Thank God. Thank God Mara walked in and I beelined. And I was like, you're not getting like, you're mine now. You're now on a date with me. Yes, that's right. And poor her. She had to talk to me for a long time. Yeah. I did speak to Elizabeth Olsen. Oh, that go. Did you? That was fun. I've never met her. She was really, really nice.

1:24:52This is also funny. I was like, whoa, does she notice? That you're in head to toe row? Yes. Uh-huh. And actually, my shirt wasn't, but my pants and my bag were. Yeah. And I was like, for the first time, I was like, I wish I wasn't. You felt silly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, this is like your sister's. I'm dumb. I got to die. I want to go die. Like, I'm wearing your sister's clothes. You're like, who is this person? Why do I have to talk? Mara, why are you talking to her? And then you find yourself talking about such, like, small talk. Is. Yeah, it's, it's uncomfortably inane. It's like, it's like, yeah, you've, your soul feels like it's getting sundered.

1:25:40Yeah, because I think in that conversation, I tried to bring up perimenopause. Uh-huh. It felt like. Like you were forcing it. Yeah. But it felt like it was going to be a good entree in these three women who were talking about hormones. And I was like, oh, well. and then I was like I was about to say on my show but I was like I can't say on my show she's gonna be like what show you got a show what podcast please don't tell me about your podcast exactly it was so scary yeah anyway so parties are hard parties are hard they are hard stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare

1:26:34so we left there then we went to the big event itself yeah and um they had a really heightened security oh i see yeah there's snipers on the roof and stuff different roofs i'm glad but it made getting in like really quite crazy yeah um like we're there was definitely a moment where I was like, should we get out and walk the remaining half mile? Kristen and I did that one year. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. It's not sorted all that well. And I was like, are we going to miss? And I think her category was like second up or something. I was getting so panicked because I'm watching the E red carpet to get you guys.

1:27:13And I'm like, time is a ticket. I haven't seen them. What's going on? Yeah. We walked around the whole side of that whole thing. We never were even on the red carpet. We came in the side. Yeah. And got there in the nick of time. And I don't know why I had a memory of them having some great green room with a lot of snacks. So I was like, oh, I'm going to be fine. Oh. And then, you know, I'm like, oh, I'm hungry. And she's like, yeah, I'm hungry too. Okay, after your category, let's go to the green room. So we go to the green room, slim fucking pickings. There was nothing there. I think I ate like seven pieces of mortadillo ham.

1:27:48Oh, sure. And that's all there really was. Okay. And I ate it all. That was it. Oh, you saved none for everyone. I was in a desperate situation. Okay. And then I, when she went away to go do the Ted and Mary presentation, I knew I had a few. Minutes? Yeah, like a few awards. I had a little buffer. Right. So I'm like, oh, I'm going to go out to the lobby. And I was going to be conservative. I was like, I'm going to go get a thing of popcorn. Oh, okay. That'll tide me over. And that's, I can manage that. Just a couple kernels at a time, hide it on the ground. But high choking probability, just, you know.

1:28:27Something to think about, I suppose. Or in your teeth. Yeah. But anyways, I got up there. They were sold completely out of popcorn. So I said, oh, fuck it. Give me the nonchos. I sold out of nonchos. So I ended up with a huge hot dog, like a Snoopy special hot dog, like a quarter pound hot dog. Oh. And a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Cheetos and Skittles, which I don't eat sugar really. And I certainly am not eating Skittles if I'm going to eat sugar. I'm going to eat like a candy bar of chocolate. Yeah, yeah. So I got back to the seat and I was just trying to be pretty quiet about it. Now I have an enormous tray of food.

1:29:02By the way, sincerely, none of this occurs to me for whatever reason. I just don't think that way. You're not thinking you're on TV? I don't think, oh, hey, guy, you're the only person in the first six rows with a tray of food on you. Yeah. I literally don't even think about it. I was like, I'm hungry. I got nothing to do here. I'm not nominated. They're not cutting to me. Well, they might. So I'm pounding this hot dog. And all of a sudden I hear, Dax, Dax. And I look over. I posted this video. Yes, I saw. And yes, Sarah Paulson's recording me. Friend of the pod. Friend of the pod. By the way, so many friends of the pod at this thing.

1:29:41It was so fun. It was so fun. Like half the people were nominated. I really liked that a lot. I just really liked it. I was like, everyone in this room is human. Yes. I've gotten to see everyone be human for two hours, and that's really cool. In the past when I go to these things, there's all these different people, and I'm imagining what they are, and I'm applying the status and stuff. But this was, I think, for the first time ever at an award show, I was like, oh, yeah, there's a room full of people. Yes. I love that. And I'm happy for them. It's really cool what they did. And then, and it's just really like a room full of people.

1:30:13And it was great. I'm like whispering to Seth Rogen once, because I'm a huge fan of Tony Gilroy. He wrote and directed Michael Clayton. He also wrote Andor. Oh, wow. Yeah. So then I see the nomination for Andor and it's for like, it's for Mike Gilroy. And I'm like, what does Tony go by Mike? And then I like lean over and I'm like, if there's one guy in this audience, I don't know. It's Seth Rogen. This motherfucker knows every single thing about him. And then I'm like, Seth, does Tony have a brother? And he's like, yeah, two brothers. And then it was the brother that won. And then he mentioned the third brother who's also right on the show.

1:30:51So this is so fun. I'm like getting info from him and I'm staying dialed into what's going on. But anyway, so that hot dog thing happens. And then friend of a pod, Sam Rockwell, has left his seat and comes over and just goes, buddy, you killing that hot dog is the funniest thing. I've been watching you eat that hot dog. Oh, my God. the whole room. Now I realize everybody's been watching me eat this hot dog. And then Sam leaves and I look at him to say goodbye. And then I catch eyes with, with Seth Rogen and Ike Baranholz and Seth's like, you ate that thing like a corn on the cob. And I'm like, Oh, I think everybody there was watching me fucking pound this hot dog.

1:31:32Cause I didn't want to eat the buns. So I was like eating it kind of crazy. And I'd put a ton of ketchup and mustard and mayonnaise on it. because I wanted more calories because they didn't have any food for sale up there. Oh, my God. So I had a moment where I was like, oh, my God, I was being stared at by a lot of people. You were the jester. Accidentally, I was the jester. And I think if I saw me, I would think I was doing a bit. But I wasn't doing a bit. I don't know why because I'm so – Well, now it's a pattern. This is why I would think that. Because the other time when I was watching the Lions game at the Golden Globes.

1:32:06Oh, right. On my phone. Yeah. Again, I thought I was just having this very secret moment where no one knew I was looking down at my phone. Yeah. And then Kristen had recorded me and posted and it became kind of a funny thing. Yeah, but I don't think the room was paying attention to you. The room wasn't. But if I add up that little oopsies with this, now this hot dog gate, if I was cynical and he didn't like me already, I'd be like, this guy's just, he's never nominated these things. Why is he there? Yeah, why is he there? Why does he go there and have to do something stupid each time? Oh, interesting.

1:32:42So I kind of had accidentally backed into another little thing. I mean. But it was, I was fine with it, of course. They sell food. Yes. So obviously people are, if it was all sold out, people ate. Yes. Well, I had seen. Oh, another fun thing I'll say is Chloe Sevigny was directly in front of me. She's so fashion. She's so fast. She's so cool. Yeah, I know. I don't know where there was one time with my friend Leslie, and I just thought she was really cool. And I've always thought she was really cool. So when she was nominated, and when she didn't win, and the other person came up, and the second the camera was off her, because I didn't want anyone to see this, I slid her$20.

1:33:25Okay. Okay. She turned around. She was laughing, and then she was like trying to give it back to me. I go, no, you must keep it, because if people say sorry you lost, you go, oh, no, no, I won$20. Okay. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's the one who had been sneakily eating some popcorn where I got the idea. Yeah. I imagine people have to eat. I guess the line was at popcorn before people were going to look at you. Well, the nachos were sold out. Yeah. It must have been folks in the back. Or before the show started maybe. Or in the breaks when maybe they buy it in the lobby and eat it all in the lobby.

1:33:58But I carried this huge tray back to my seat. No one sent anything to me. There was ushers everywhere. Right. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that's funny. I mean. So now I guess I'm kind of committed to this. Now it is going to have to become a big. No. I'm going to have to play like a trumpet in the middle of something. I know. I'm sorry, but that's my responsibility. As soon as it turns into on purpose, it's not. It's ugly. Yeah. And it's about you and attention. I actually feel confident I'll accidentally do more stuff. Yeah, just let yourself be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was a really good time. And I felt like kind of a moment of growth, which is like I didn't feel better than anybody and I didn't feel less than anybody.

1:34:44Good. Yes. That was a great feeling. This is the thing I'm always trying to tell you. Do you think maybe I'm just ahead of your time? Probably. You're probably way ahead of my time. We don't always. It's not always. Status isn't always abound. And it does. Well, it always is. And then you participate in it sometimes or you don't. It doesn't have to be. You don't have to. To perceive it. Yeah. You can. It's hard, but you can remove yourself from it. Write it down. But I didn't do anything to earn it. I just kind of felt that way, which was nice. Yeah. Great. Well, I'm glad. I'm glad. Better than fainting.

1:35:18Did you see some, one like lady, it was some political thing. It was like her first day. Maybe she was French or something. And she passed out. And there's video. And it looks so scary. She making a speech? Like they're all up there doing, yeah. Like she wasn't in the middle of talking. Somebody else was talking, but it was like four podiums. And then she just like watching someone pass out is so weird. Yeah. To see the human body just like give out. Yeah. Quit. It's very scary. Yeah. And. You ever fainted? I, yeah, had this weird passing out thing, which then caused all this anxiety about passing out.

1:36:02Oh, okay. Because you passed out on the bike riding it at SoulCycle? No. When did you pass out? I passed out babysitting. It was a whole thing. And it was really scary. What age? It was while I worked at SoulCycle. Oh, okay. An adult. Not like babysitting when you were a kid. No, no, no. It was during that time. Okay. Anywho, just watching someone's body give out, and she said low blood sugar. So, like, you could have passed out. It would have been so bad. What a dummy. I'm also too big. Exactly. You would have taken out so many people. I would look like a dum-dum. Look at that big, dumb guy fell over.

1:36:38Yeah. This big ogre fell. I have never fainted, thank God. I hope you don't. I feel confident I'm not gonna. Thank you. Speaking of fainting, bodies giving out, health stuff, tell everyone the story you told me the other day. Oh, oh, okay, great. Yes. Another highlight. Thank you. Highlight. This was really just a highlight for you. I was excited to tell you. Yes. Noah Wiley was seated, I think, two rows behind me. So on one of my many trips to try to get food, I saw him and I kind of locked eyes with him. So I walked over and I introduced myself to him. I'm like, hey, Noah, I'm Dax. Nice to meet you.

1:37:20And he said, oh, yeah, I was on your hayride this year. And I'm like, you were on my hayride? He goes, yeah, I was on the hayride last year. I can't. And I go, why didn't you say hi? And he goes, I don't know, you were driving. I don't think you necessarily want me to say hi. And I'm like, well, I'm delighted you're on there. And he said, he goes, man, you make some sharp turns. And I go, I'm so glad you say that. I only go through all the effort of doing it so that people will compliment me on how tight the course is. But he did. He couldn't wait to tell me how impressed he was with the turn into the alley.

1:37:56Isn't that great? I mean, it's hard for you, but it's great. It's about you and it's about me. He was sitting next to me somehow, probably, and I didn't even know. He must have been full mask or something. Oh, my God. Also, we've had this with a couple of guests that were on the hayride that we don't know about. But no one's more exciting than Noah Wiley. No one's more exciting. It's extremely exciting, but I can think of a couple people. Like if Jay-Z said he was on the hayride, I'm going to be a little more excited. Okay, again, that's your preferences. That's my thing, yeah. Okay, my preference is to be on the hayride.

1:38:34You gotta keep your eyes peeled this year. Yes. Do you think maybe he was one of the ones that came into the house that wasn't supposed to come into the house? He was like, hey man, I took your hayride and I shit in your bathroom. I came for a free hamburger and then I was like, oh, this place must be open to tour. It's very Amanda Knox. Yeah. Anyway, I am delighted about this. It feels like a good start. And then I DM'd him to invite him on the show. Yes, I knew I smelled something really good. on the hayride, but I never could identify it. And now mystery solved. It was him. Anyway, this is pheromones.

1:39:07Now, did you consider telling him that we talk about the pit constantly on the show, big fans, he comes up all the time. I want him to do surgery on my body. I did consider saying my co-host is obsessed with you and I hear about the pit all the time. And then I realized they're being celebrated tonight, right? Like me telling him someone's obsessed with the show felt extraneous in a given. Given the amount of acclaim they were receiving that night, it felt like, yeah, duh. Don't you see what's happening? We're winning every award. Everyone loves it. I think a line reading could have been. Okay.

1:39:49We'll start with, hey, I'm Dax. Oh, okay. Hey, I'm Dax. Oh, Noah. Noah, nice to meet you. I was on your hayride. Nice to meet you. What? Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? In your neighborhood. I was on your hayride. You were making those like crazy tight turns. Like it was crazy. Oh, well, let's talk about my co-host. Thanks for the compliment, but she is obsessed with you. Your co-host of what? Oh, I have a podcast. Oh, we're dead. See, we're dead in the water because that could have happened. No. Now I'm explaining to him what a podcast is. Oh, Monica, you must acknowledge it's so high risk. No, it's not.

1:40:28And this is why I'm self-conscious. Okay. I know. And it's not a fair comparison. I know.

1:40:42It's not a fair comparison. And everyone's going to be mad at me for saying this probably, but this is where my head's at. Okay. So I got to. Yeah. Um, you have, you would have no problem saying Kristen's obsessed with your show. Yes. She loves it so much. Because I know a hundred percent they know who Kristen is. So. I do not walk around assuming Noel Wiley knows I have a podcast called Armchair Expert. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't ever assume someone knows it. Right. If they bring it up, I'd love to talk about it, but I never say my show, our show, this show. I don't ever do that because I don't assume everyone knows.

1:41:27Yeah, but you could say I have a podcast and my co-host is obsessed with it. That sounds terrible. I have a podcast? Well, I have a life. We already have agreed on this. We know it's embarrassing to say I have a podcast. We already dealt with this. We were sitting at a table where it said podcast. We were embarrassed. So, but then you said the goal is to invite him on the podcast. Yeah. So how are you going to do that if you can't tell me that one? I'm going to meet him. I'm going to be nice and likable. And then his publicist is going to pitch him how every guest comes on this show. That's been happening, yeah.

1:41:57And he's going to go, oh, I met the guy. He's pretty cool. I'd love to. His co-host is obsessed with me, apparently, and wants me to do surgery. So I'll definitely go on.

1:42:08Anyway. Anywho, facts? Okie dokie. Dominique Fike I loved this episode Yeah I really did What a He's got the MKG Yes You wanna You really I'm sure every woman who MGK MGK MGK I'm sure a lot of women wanna Just protect him And take care of him Well that's very I mean yes If I was a woman either It's a little It's a little Cliche But I guess it's true But also it's not It's like there's just something admirable about a person who has been put through the fucking ringer. Yeah. And is like smiling and thinking about it in positive ways. Using it to create. Yeah. Using it to create, not letting it kill him.

1:42:57Yeah. Is admirable. It is. And there's something like. He's a low percentage. So twinkly, like, just like in his eye. I don't know. I liked him a lot. He's very playful. Yeah. Yeah. He's like a nice boy. Would you date him? I mean, he's very young. He's too young. But he's very attractive. He's too young. He's very attractive, but he's too young for me. How old was he? He's about to be 30. If you are my brother's age. Okay, that's the, I get it. I can't do it. I get it. You have the brother in the mix. But 30 is an adult man. I know, but. I bet he has pubic hair and stuff.

1:43:33I've shared a shower with my brother, so I would assume he does have pubic hair. but um yeah that's a sticking point for me anyone who's my brother's age or below is a baby they'll just be a baby forever even when my brother's 58 and the person's 50 still really even as an old grizzled man like me they're babies just a little baby actually um there were times when when dominic was talking that i was like i would like see my brother oh really yeah because they're like they're the same age and so some of the ways they were talking and certain mannerisms i was like oh my god or generational i think generational boys yeah yeah yeah um so that was sweet but also my brother has a girlfriend yeah and it's so exciting for me yeah wonderful i think it's so wonderful.

1:44:30Yeah. And I'm so happy. Yeah. And, you know, I don't know where it will go, but I had this, this like feeling where I, I was like, there's no other feeling other than just being so happy. Yeah. Because he's your brother, but he's also your son because of the age gap. And you want him to not be lonely and be happy. It makes me so, it makes me feel like I'm so much happier about that development than I am if I had a boyfriend to bring to the table. Like I prefer this, that just like he's good and he's happy. And, and, um. I feel that way about Carly and Yurt. Like I'm just so happy that Carly has had Yurt for so long.

1:45:17It's really great. And then even the idea, like, what if they, like I've taken it so far, like if they have kids and they're gonna bring maybe these little babies to Christmas and I get to play with these babies and I get to pay for their college and like it's just so cute and there was there's also something like energizing about it for me I feel so excited that there might be like new energy in the dynamic now yeah that is fun it's fun and she will make him grow as partners yeah Yeah, yeah. Ugh. Now. I love it. One shouldn't care about this, but I do. Yeah. Which is, do you have any sense of relief of like, I want my parents to know that they carried on and I might not facilitate that and I'm comforted for them that the Padmins may live on.

1:46:18So I talk to them about this. They don't care. They don't. They're so interesting. They really don't care about that, about like about like the legacy or the seed continuing or the name continuing or anything like that. It makes me sad. Like if I think about my dad and the shepherds and Papa Bob and grandma and that I ended that line that. Yes. I mean, I would have a hard time. I have some guilt about that. Yeah. Yeah. So this isn't helpful. And I'm saying it doesn't make any sense. Why do we care? if one genetic pool carries on or not. I don't know why I care. Well, it makes sense. But you kind of feel like, I feel like, oh, they die for good if that doesn't happen.

1:46:59Yes. Right? Like, there's going to be no one here to care that they were here. Yes, correct. These are the feelings. Yeah, they're deep. Yeah, they are. They are. But then you also have, you can't do it for that. No, of course not. So, yeah, when she came into the picture and I was talking to my parents and I said that, I was like, well, good. At least we know. Yeah. At least we know someone's going to carry this on. Yeah. And they like laughed and they were like, we don't care about that. Yeah. Like they, I think, want little babies around right now. Like that sounds fun for them. Right. But also they don't, they're like fine if that doesn't happen and they're all, and they don't care about the name being spread.

1:47:44Yeah. They're bizarrely healthy and evolved. They're very healthy and evolved. Yeah. Thank God, because they got me. So like, I don't, although maybe I wouldn't be, I probably wouldn't be me if they weren't that. Well, of course not. I would probably want to do what they wanted me to do and I would do it. Yeah. Beat yourself up or not do it and feel guilty. Or I would just do it and then be miserable. Yeah, yeah. So I'm lucky. Yeah. But anywho, so that was exciting. This is all very exciting. Yeah. And to be clear, I don't care for me. Like, I don't care if my children have children for me so that someone remembers me.

1:48:24It's really just about like my dad and my mom. Yes. It goes the other way. And my grandparents. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like also it's like, what does it mean? They didn't live like they did. I know. And death is death to me. Yeah. Like they're dead. I know. I mean, except they are and they're not because there is some truth to like we make these people. He's so alive right now. Yeah. As long as I'm here, he's so alive. Yeah. You know? This isn't helpful. Ugh. Anyway. Okay. Some facts. Okay. So somatic therapy. Do it. Somatic therapy. I'm doing it. Explores how the body expresses deeply painful experiences, applying mind-body healing to aid with trauma recovery.

1:49:11Since disturbing feelings often show up in the body in debilitating ways, somatic therapy aims to drain those emotions of their power, relieving pain and other manifestations of stress such as disrupted sleep or an inability to concentrate. These types of emotions can stem from a variety of conditions and circumstances that somatic therapy may potentially help alleviate. They include PTSD, complicated grief, depression, anxiety, trust and intimacy issues, self-esteem problems. problems. I can't imagine there's a human on earth without one of those. Yeah, I agree. You know, it's funny. I had therapy this week and she said something really interesting because I was having this period of anxiety that felt really old.

1:50:01And I was having all these like old feelings come up that I thought I had like. said goodbye to fully put to rest and we're gone so then of course then i was like mad at myself i'm like why why this again this is back like what it's a failing on your part yeah and um and she said an interesting thing she said with loss brings back old losses so there's a current loss all these old things that are similar in feeling and body come back to the surface yeah that makes sense so you smell something that's from 20 years ago you smelled it it reminds you of that whole thing yeah yeah and so you kind of have to walk through those emotions again yeah which is hard but but good to know that like that's what's happening anyway um that just reminded me of somatic therapy um oh he mentioned drinking kalua they would steal from friends parents and i was like this is such a universal thing that's that was my first drink i think it's most people i know because it's a milkshake but also like because y 'all all tastes terrible when you first try it right but i don't know anyone who has kalua anymore anymore it does feel very 90s 80s 90s yeah i wonder what the new one is i'll tell you when it looks so good as in um uh the dude the Big Lebowski the White Russian make those at the bar like I remember watching that and just being like fuck I'm so mad I didn't drink White Russians they look so good it's thick yeah it's thick it's really thick okay the Cirque Lodge we kind of like we talked about it in a way that it's as if everyone knew what it was because the three of us do know what it is but it is a rehab center yeah and I think they do multiple things I don't know if it's just addiction I think there's a lot of different oh yeah The studio Cirque Lodge, studio alcohol and drug rehab facility, luxury rehab.

1:52:03Luxury rehab. Yeah. Highly rated. Okay. How long does – I'm going to get so many flags because I looked up how long does coke last in your system. Oh, yeah. How long? How long is it detectable? If someone has used cocaine only once, it's usually detectable in urine for around three to five days. Someone who takes a larger dose or uses it occasionally and may show up in urine for three to seven days for frequent or heavy cocaine users, five to 14 days after the last dose. So, okay. I looked up that. And if you can go 14 days between using coke, then you're not really a heavy user. Right. It's all kind of circular.

1:52:43True. Okay. Now weed. I looked up weed as well. Single first-time user up to three days. Moderate user, which is a few times a week, five to seven days. Chronic user, 10 to 15 days. Heavy chronic user, which is multiple times a day, 30 days or longer. I had always heard 30 days. Okay, so you got to really be at it. But maybe that's someone who's every day. On it, yeah. Yeah. Pedal to the metal. And then meth. Oh. When I looked that up, I did get like a hotline. Oh, you did. Uh-huh. Which is great. Yeah. It says meth can be detected in urine, blood, saliva, and even hair for different periods of time that vary from person to person.

1:53:24In general, it's much longer than you'd expect. Although the high for meth may only last a few minutes to a few hours, a drug can remain in your body for a much longer period of time. It's not saying specifics, which is, oh, this says can stay in your urine for up to five days. Well, what is wild is I have had drug tests show up for meth from Sudafed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I mean, I truly haven't done meth in 23 years. Yeah. But when I was taking drug tests, there was a period where I was like, what is this? Yeah. And I had to go like, what is going on? And I had taken Sudafed. Right.

1:54:08But it also says your meth can be found in a half inch hair sample for up to 90 days. Okay. Wow. So no getting away with that one, it sounds like. Let's just leave that one alone. Yeah. Okay. The act that is there to combat prison rape is called PREA. It stands for Prison Rape Elimination Act in 2003. Okay, good. So that's great. I'm glad they finally, I think there was a big period where they were like tough shit. Yeah, exactly. You went to prison, like that's on you. You deserve it. Yeah. Yeah. It was just gnarly. I know. That was so crazy that his cellmate was murdered his family. Yeah. I mean.

1:54:48Yeah. Wow. Okay. Now you're going to be really interested in this. So we took a pee break and then you asked if his stream was ropey. Yeah. Yeah. And then we got onto the subject of does a larger penis mean you have a thicker stream? And so I looked this up. Having a bigger penis is linked to a slower urine stream due to the longer length of the urethra. You were right. Thank you. And I was like, no, but you were right. It just makes sense. I guess. However, a slow stream is more strongly influenced by other medical conditions with penis size having a minor indirect. I think your prostate has a lot to do with it.

1:55:27Sure. I think when guys have really enlarged prostates, it's like constricting everything in the vas deferens and urethra. And then it's just a dribble, drip, drip, drip. Or I see guys all the time at the urinal and they're like trying to get it going. And I'll like do my whole thing. Well, it makes sense if anything's expanded or bloated. Yeah. Because sometimes even if I'm on my period or if I have a tampon in. Which is often as it turns out. Um, it's harder for me to pee. I don't know if that's just my body, but for me, it makes sense too. Cause like then everything's like stuck. Yeah. Constricted.

1:56:08Yeah. So, but luckily for me, I barely ever wear tampons. Yeah. And you barely pee. Correct. Yeah. Correct. You're hitting this from a lot of different angles. But that's why it's a little, it's uncomfortable if I have to pee because I don't pee often. So when I pee, there's a fair amount of pee. So if I have a tampon in and I can feel like it needs to come out, it's like, it's uncomfortable. Yeah. Too much trash. All right. Oh, the happy Pharrell thing. It is despicable me too. And yeah. And a lot of, a lot of at bats before you cranked it out of the park. That's it. Well, I loved them. Me too.

1:56:52So cute. I want to take care of them. I want to buy a house and me, him, and Machine Gun Kelly all live in it. Oh, that'll be fun. We do a lot of hugging and comforting one another. That'll be sweet. A little bit light crying. Oh, cute. Yeah. Okay, bye. Love you. Love you. Thank you.

1:57:37Go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.