Ike Barinholtz #4

23:27Like I was just flying. We just flew to Canada and the guy sitting in front of us was watching the studio and I could kind of see it. And he stood up to go to the bathroom and looked at me and goes, I want you to know I was watching that before I saw you. I love when people not in the business love the show. Like that is very cool. And I think they did a good job, even though the show is no matter what about the business inside baseball, they do hit on themes that are pretty universal. Everyone's got like a boss who's annoying. or they want credit for an idea. Like my friend Debbie, she's like, I want you to know my husband literally does not watch TV.

23:59He doesn't watch anything except Ohio State sports. He loves the studio. Oh, great. That's great. We're going to like it because we know we've been in these situations. I think in this day and age, for a show to work, it either has to have huge ratings, like Running Point, or it has good ratings slash great ratings. People love it. Critics love it. It wins awards. I imagine the studio kind of falls in that category where people watch it. It gets good numbers, but it's not like a Netflix like running point, which is like a big global, global. Kate Hudson. It's global. I'm a globalist. But it's my favorite show to work.

24:38It's so fun. Everyone's so great. It's just wonderful people. So you guys have already shot season two or you're in the process right now, my man. You're doing it right now. We're doing it right now. Literally. And what is your work schedule like on that? It's not light. It's not light, right? Significant. We're able to break off a couple hours for this or that, for this. A couple hours. It is weird. It's not your typical show where it's like, okay, today is just Chase. And then tomorrow is all of us. And then it's just Seth. It's like usually everyone's in every scene. And the way they shoot it.

25:11I think there was a time where I got there and they were like, you actually don't think you're going to be in this. And I was like, okay. It's one of those shows where you just completely surrender to the schedule. You're on call. You're like an OB. I am. I've been doing some amateur OB.

25:25You're kind of a hobbyist. I'm more of a hobbyist. Enthusiast, let's say. OB1 Kenobi. Is that anything? If your baby doctor's last name was Kenobi, my OB is Kenobi. Oh, okay. Is that like one thing we can riff on? It's going to take a lot of setup. I'll just say that. What if your last name was Kenobi? Yes. You should probably go in. Obsessed. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Let's have some fucking fun, guys. Come on. Okay. So you're doing that one right now. And then is Running Point in production? Running Point is not a production, but we're starting to kind of get some ideas together for season three.

26:02So you've already completed season two. Season two is, it's what they call in the business, in the can, baby. Oh, nice. Have you seen Song Song Blue, by the way? No. Have not. I've heard it's great. I keep hearing it's great. The movie's so good. And her performance, it's one of the best I've seen in so long. I was so fucking happy for her because I remember her telling me about this movie. She's like, it's really fun. It's me and Hugh. And I knew the band that it's about. You did? Yeah, because they were in Chicago. People would be like, I was in Milwaukee last weekend. I saw this Neil Diamond cover band.

26:32It's a lady. So I remember them. I remember Pearl Jam having them open for Pearl Jam. That's in the movie. And then she told me about the movie. And she's like, and I think she said it's going to come out on Christmas Day. And I was like, Focus Features is putting a movie out on Christmas Day. They think it is really good. And I saw it. We went to the screening and like months, months ago, it was so embarrassing how hard I was crying. It's emotional. And she is so great at it. I hope she wins the Oscar. She just killed it. How much are you crying these days? You're approaching 50, right? You're around the corner.

27:04No. What the fuck? What kind of weird question is that? I'm sorry. I'm way off. 36. I gotta go, guys. I'm sure you're late to something. I'm approaching. You're 49, right? I'm 49. Okay, I just turned 49. I cry not maybe as much, but more violently and worse. Oh, okay. So frequency is the same, but dosage. Frequency is maybe actually a little less. Oh. Yeah, because before I was crying like, I'm having fun watching TV. Oh, it's a nice commercial. Now I'm just stoic, stoic, stoic. And then life happens or the external world happens and I'll go into like my closet. And what are the triggers? Daddy-daughter stuff?

27:45How do we do with daddy-daughter stuff? Daddy-daughter stuff's not too bad, only because I think my kids are a little younger than yours, and they're still in the, we love dad and want to hang out. But Interstellar, once I had a baby, it's like, oh, this guy's going to miss his daughter's life. I'm destroying. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. I was in Italy for two and a half weeks away from my family, and I'm flying back home. And I was like, man, I haven't watched Interstellar in a minute. No, horrible idea. And you just missed two and a half weeks of your family's life. The scene. When he walks in, he's like, oh my God, it's my daughter, Murph.

28:18I fucking lost it on All Italia.

28:24Like Robert De Niro would analyze this. Fuck it. To me, it's more like we're at the age now where people are dying, where you have life catching up. You have friends with kids that get sick. That's the real shit. That's the stuff where you're crying and you don't feel silly about it. Where you're like, I fucking need to do this. And then there's just the random things. Like I watched a clip the other day of, I want to say it was maybe the Liverpool football club. Soccer match? I'm not going to cry talking about it, but it was them and it was like a thing. You're halfway there. Yeah, so give me every detail.

28:58It's like this sweet handicapped kid and they show up at his school and they're like, who's a Liverpool fan? And he's like, I am. And they take him. They take him to the stadium and they meet every player and then they put him on the sidelines. And I was like, I'm an Arsenal fan, but I might have to switch to Liverpool now. That was like 807 on the toilet. Sobbing. Sobbing. But it's still overall less than it was probably a year ago, a couple years ago. I don't know why. Maybe because I'm... You're too busy, maybe. Maybe too busy. You're too busy to cry. Too busy to cry. It's the name of my autobiography.

29:30Can't squeeze it in. Yeah, we have a theory that these older men, it's all burbled up their whole life and it's coming out all the time. Dax cries every day. Yeah, yeah. Especially the older guys. Grown up in the 80s, if you cried in front of one of your buddies, it was like, your whole family had a better just been blown up in a car bomb or something. It wasn't a thing. There was a stigma to it. And then it started in the 90s. You started seeing like modern dads. And now it is a good thing. Anyone who says it's bad, that's nonsense. It's good to fucking get it out. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

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31:45My family, of course, and Monica, obviously, who I get to work with every day. The women on our team, the women in this industry who are constantly juggling a million things at once. They carry so much. They're managing work, relationships, family dynamics, and about a thousand invisible responsibilities that nobody sees or acknowledges. And here's what I've learned. Taking care of everyone else is exhausting. Setting boundaries, creating balance, making space for yourself. That's not selfish. That's necessary. And therapy can be a really powerful tool for that. It's a space to work through the pressures, the expectations, the roles we all play.

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34:04My frequency rate just has gone like this, you know. Well, you're very emotional. Like, I'm an emotional guy. I think you are more emotional than me. That might be true, but I think it was very hidden. Well, you're sensitive. I'm very sensitive. I bet I'm more sensitive than you. Yes, yeah. Yours are now, what, six, eight, and 12? Eight, 10, and 12. The 12-year-old? I have a 12-year-old. Yes. Have we started to have any moments where they break your heart? Oh, my God, yeah. And were you prepared for it, even though you had been told about it? Do you find yourself going like, wow, I'm so deeply hurt in this moment, and I know I'm not supposed to be?

34:40For me, it's like small things. I try not to let it affect me. for instance a couple weeks ago i love to cook five nights a week they say pretty much if i'm not shooting easy five nights a week one night's burgers one night maybe we'll go get ramen or some but i cooked dinner so excited made my daughter's favorite things and at four o 'clock she was like hey i'm gonna sleep at lula's and i was like yeah you should you should yeah i'm so happy you have a good friend oh yeah i would never be like no oh what the fuck i'm making cutlets and mashed potatoes. So there's moments like that. Once you get a little bit older, I feel like that's when it will really start to kind of hit more.

35:21I feel bad when they feel bad about something. That's the empathy kind of thing of like, oh, they're having a hard time with this. I get mad for my daughter when she has to do a ton of homework. Don't you remember as a kid being like, the fuck is this shit? What a scam. It's bullshit. I go to school all day. Yeah. Busting my ass. Meanwhile, I was not even. No, you were rarely trying. Then I got to come home and deal with this shit. No. And so I've always hated homework and seeing them have to do like hours of homework. I'm like, just let it be kids. Have you had a Valentine's heartbreak yet? No, not a Valentine's.

35:57She has been perfect amount of healthy detachment when it comes to boys. Okay. Where clearly like her and her girlfriends talk about it. And some of her girls are boy crazy. All of Timothee Chalamet, right? There's like some go-tos. Here's who they love. Timothy is a big one. I get it. Yep, we all get it. My oldest daughter loves Tyler, the creator. Oh, great pick. She just thinks he's so cool. She like wants to be his friend. And then who else does she like? She had a huge crush on Anthony Davis. Played for the Lakers for years. Oh, okay. It was like 7 '14". Like a giant, you know, brown. She was like, he's so dreamy.

36:38Timmy and Tyler, I'd say, are the ones. Like, I saw Tyler at, like, Cookbook. Oh, I know. He hangs out there. He loves it. I don't want to blow up a spot. But you don't know which one. Don't say which one. When I told her that I saw him there, she was like, what? Yeah. He's cool. So she loves Marty Supreme, then. We let her watch some of Marty Supreme, but it's stressing her out a little too much. Yeah, it's a little very stressful. She loves Dune. Loves the Dune. I do, too. So do I. Those movies are so good. He's one of these classic guys where it's like, I am predisposed to hate his guts because he's the opposite of me.

37:12He's super cute. He speaks French. Every girl loves him. I'm already mad at him. He's too good. Yeah. Did you guys see Marty Supreme? Yes. He's unreal. He's so good. I'm going to just throw shit. I don't care. I really enjoyed the movie. Yeah. He's so good. What the fuck is the guy from Shark Tank doing in there? He's the worst actor I've ever seen in my life. Wait, who? The fucking guy. Who is he? Mr. Voldemort. Mr. Voldemort. He's Gwenna's husband. I thought he sucked. And he's up there with Kimmy, who's acting his ass off. And that guy's like, his eyes are dark around. I think he's also decided to recently go to war with Phineas' sister.

37:50Billie Eilish. I think that guy has decided to have a public war. That sounds like a good idea for a 97-year-old man to attack a 20-year-old. But I was just like, I know it's cool we put non-actors in movies. In Marty Supreme, the guy who played his uncle is a journalist named Larry Sloman, who was amazing. Yeah. Mr. Wonderful did not do it. His eyes move around too much. He doesn't have the smoke. He doesn't have the smoke. I said it. Let's go. I'm going to start. So dialed in. The last time you were here, you educated us on gooning, which we knew nothing about. Oh, yeah. That was helpful. We're getting deep into the goon community.

38:24We call it the GC. The GC. Have you been asked to host any of these award shows? I am hosting the AVNs this year, the adult video awards. Oh, great. In Vegas. I'm going to Vegas. Okay. For a couple of weeks. They pay pretty well, right? You're getting 12 grand. That's like, I have to fly myself out there. I'm paying for local hire. I said I'd be a local hire. Yeah, of course. It's so close. Why not? I'll just drive there. It's fine. Actually, what I'll do, they'll give me$100 stipend for a flight and I'll drive and use them like, okay, for your hotel. No, they haven't. Would you? Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

38:56I mean, it depends. You instantly think of the worst ones, but then you think of Nikki Glaser. She killed it. So funny. Conan. He's so good. So it's like there's people who are good doing it recently that you know you could be good. You just think of some of the rough ones. Oh, I had this thought about you today when I was rewatching a lot of stuff. You're kind of fearless in that you'll take on a lot of stuff. You pivoted in the same way I did. Acting wasn't working. You started writing. Writing starts working really well. Now you're acting again, back and forth. And we're going to talk about your podcast.

39:28You're doing that. Do you ever feel a pull when you watch Chappelle? And he tells a story that is woven together with so much great history that we're not aware of for the most part. He's always exposing some rad part of history that we've missed. And then he lands this plane and you're like, God, that was so fucking moving. Not that I think I'm Chappelle. I feel like I have the capacity to try to attempt to do a stand-up thing that has some kind of substantive lasting message. Do you get that, Tog? Oh my God. I made a very conscious decision years ago because people ask me, like, come and do stand-up and probably a lot richer if I had 10, 15, 20 years ago.

40:10The reason I didn't, it really does come down to laziness because if you do stand-up, at least at first, you've got to do it a lot. Oh, you got to do it a lot. That's the most consistent thing all comics say is like 10 years in, you figure it out. Yeah. And I was just like, that's such a big amount of time. I also didn't want to put myself in a position where I had that avenue and I could call an agent and be like, see if you can book me a Tempe for like six shows in three nights because I'm broke or I need money. And then I'm on the road. It was really the notion of being on the road. And this is even before I had kids.

40:46I'm a homebody. It's a hard life. It's a hard life. I was just like, I would rather try to make it work here. But when you see a great piece of stand-up, because there's a lot of shit stand-up. Sure, sure, sure. There's so much. COVID created so many stand-ups. They glutted the market. Now there's guys that are just like, they don't even do jokes. I don't even know what the fuck they do. But when you see someone who is giving something that's, like you said, substantial and lasting. You're like, that is so fucking cool. To walk out on stage by yourself, big crowd. and you're doing not just like dumb jokes and fucking crowd work, but profoundly funny and deep thoughts.

41:21And people are cheering. You're like, you know what I would want to do one day? I did like a little thing on Broadway in December, like a short little stand for the show All Out. It was so much fun. I'd never done Broadway before. And I really loved it. And I've always wanted to do one of the greatest, I guess I'll call it a stand-up special, but it's more like a one-man show, is Eddie Izzard did a show called Dressed to Kill. This is probably in like 2000 and you could watch it probably on YouTube and Eddie gets up there and it's like 90 minutes. Most of it is just like history. It's just talking about why British people are the way they are and Americans and the Reformation and takes you just kind of on a tour of Western civilization from 1500 on.

42:08And it's so deeply funny and so smart. and to do something like that one day would be like something down the road. I remember Chelsea Peretti who's one of the funniest stand-ups around posting a photo years ago of her on her couch feet wrapped in a blanket watching some dumb show could not look more comfortable and she's like I have to be on stage at the improv in 12 minutes. Yeah, no. I know. I know. Yeah. So one day, not today. This is neither here nor there. What was Christmas this year? Because you had a great story of getting not recognized at a bar, but you had 20 family members with you.

42:51And I just wanted to know if that repeats. What was last Christmas? It did not repeat itself. Christmas was more low key, but I was doing this show on Broadway right around Christmas. So I was in New York around them, which you make that face. Cozy, facial, hot chocolate. But the reality of it is, when you're working and almost like living in Times Square. Oh. It's disgusting. Yeah. The holidays. You can't move, bro. You can't move. And not even like Times Square. I'm talking like 58th and 8th. 61st and 3rd. You're like, why are there 7 ,000 people at this walk sign? And then when you're going through Times Square, it's crazy around Christmas.

43:29It's just like guys dressed as the Grinch, train smoking and like yelling at someone on like an earpiece. And we had to do a show the night of Santa-Con. You know what Santa-Con is? No, what's Santa-Con? Santa-Con or Santa-Con? Santa-Con. Okay. It's one of the most depraved things. I can't believe there's not a documentary about it, just hearing the name. There might be, and they might've been like, we can't air this, these people are too sick. This is like a week before Christmas on a Friday night or a Saturday night. all these people dress as Santa and they just wreak havoc around New York. They go on a big bar crawl.

44:03They get blind drunk. My friend Abby Jacobson was doing the show with me and she took the train in from Brooklyn and she said she got off at our stop and she's walking up the stairs and there are four guys dressed as Santa. All four of them are pissing against the wall. And Abby takes her earbuds out and she goes, you're fucking disgusting. But it is a gross. You just see like girls dressed as Santa falling down like face down in the gutter like guys walking into pizzerias with like vomit all over their fucking Santa everyone's living now Billy Bob Thornton's bad Santa how good is bad Santa oh it's the greatest I'm a fucking lunch break when that kid's like do you want me to make you a sandwich what's with you in the fucking sandwiches man what's with you in the fucking sandwiches kid I'm not your fucking dada oh that's incredible yeah yeah yeah you like that bad Santa do you another quick question back to studio you and Seth combined seem to have about the deepest kind of Hollywood knowledge of people I know when we were at but it was probably the Emmys and Dan Gilroy won for Andor and I was really confused because I thought and this is where my knowledge extends Tony Gilroy was the creator of Andor I didn't know that and I like looked over and Seth happened to be looking at me at the perfect moment.

45:24And I said, does he have a brother? And Seth goes, there's three of them. And I'm like, of course he knows that. All I remember at that Emmy's was sitting there. Seth is in the front row and Erica, my wife and I are right behind him. And I couldn't have been hungrier. So hungry. And Dax and Capell are sitting right across the aisle from us. And I turn and I look and he's eating a fucking hot dog. I have the full spread. And I was like, how does he have access to a hot dog? Oh, I went out in gen pop into the lobby and stood in a long line and got any snack they had left. I went late and they were mostly all gone.

46:02I was really in the market for some popcorn that was gone. So I just want anything they had left in the hot dog. That was crazy. Erica's like, where do you get that? I'm like, I don't know. And I just lost. I was like, fucking. I hate it here. I fucking bodcasters. Yeah, yeah. But Seth knows a lot of it. I know a lot. Yeah, so when you guys are geeking out and getting esoteric on set, who goes deeper? I would say... You're trying to be diplomatic. I probably... If we were to play like the movie game. Yes. Do you want to play the movie game? Name any movie. Breaking Away. Breaking Away. And I would say Dennis Quaid.

46:36And then you would have to say a movie that Dennis Quaid was in. Right, Parent Trap. Parent Trap. And I say what? Someone else who was in Parent Trap. And I can't say Dennis Quaid. Let's say you couldn't get one. I'm out, yeah. You would get a letter and it's like horse. Oh, great. If we were to play the movie game, I would probably beat him. Oh, okay. But it'd be a long game. He knows more, I think, about like the technical shit of like, oh, the lens has to be exactly that. You know what I mean? Like, no, that was shot on a Panasonic. He knows, I think, the filmmaking stuff more. I probably know the trivia more.

47:06Jeopardy. I mean, you're a champ. Sorry, what'd you say? I'm a champion. Excuse me? Oh my God, you brought your Jeopardy mug. That's great. It's so weird that I grabbed that one. Okay, and now, last topic before your new podcast. You said nude podcast, right? Yeah. We'll talk about it. You're in a movie called Artificial. Yes. And you're playing Elon Musk. This is a big deal, Ike. Well, I hope so. I haven't seen it. I'm nervous, but he's such a great director, that guy. Luca Guadagnino. Yes. You hit me when the last time again? Guadagnino. We're talking Challengers. I know. I mean. He's a lot like Challengers, and I'm like Zendaya.

47:40Oh, my God. You lucky girl. My fucking dream. Who's the Josh O 'Connor? That would be Andrew Garfield. And then the other one is you're a Bordesoff. It's not like Challengers at all. Oh, my God. I'm so excited. But it's a story of OpenAI and Sam Altman. It's the OpenAI story. They tell it in a way only Luca can. Yeah, so walk me through how you end up in that movie, what your fear level is, all that stuff. I got a call, but they're like, hey, they're making this movie and would like to talk to you about Elon. And at first I was like, I'm not interested. I don't want anything to do with that fucking guy.

48:15But then they were like, it's Luca Guadagnino. And I'm a huge fan. I've been a fan for a very long time. I don't know if you've ever seen it. What's the fucking movie with Tilda Swinton and Ralph Fiennes and Dakota Johnson. I love that movie. I loved I Am Love, which I think was one of his first movies. He's just like a beautiful storyteller, real master. So I was like, let me talk to Luca and we'll see. And I talked to him and he's so charming. But let's back up before he woos you. Is your reservation, there's people you don't want to play or you're afraid you don't have the talent for it? I wanted to spend my whole fucking life.

48:49I wanted to die and never have Elon Musk know my name. That was one of my goals in life. Oh, okay. So I would have to forsake that. But then I met with him. So it's just your detest for, I just think they're dangerous guys. You will live a probably more blessed life if you're not on their radar. Nothing to do with that. That's just how I feel. But I met with him and I told him my reservation and he was like, well, it's nothing about you. it's about you finding what makes him think he is human which i think is a very smart way it's not about whether or not you think he is it's about whether or not he thinks exactly you're smart well it's a very age old you can't be judgmental of a character you're playing you can't be or you can be and it'll be a pretty cartoonish then it would just be like mad tv where i'm like oh god i'm like so woke like what are we doing but this is like a real movie and it takes place not necessarily in this moment where everyone is at their max levels it's encasing many many years and all kinds of things.

49:42And it was a great script and just great actors. Do you know, have you seen Onora? You guys saw Onora? Yes. Oh, yeah. That guy, Yuro, like the bald guy? Yeah, he's incredible. He's like the main guy in it. He is like a monster. Fuck, such a great actor. Oh, my God. Sweetest, most unassuming guy. But when you're acting, you got those big Russian eyes in your face. You're like, okay, all right, what are we doing? How do you start trying to be him? Watching YouTube? Did you read the Walter Isaacson book? I read some of it. The book doesn't help as much as watching. It's just like injecting poison into my brain and watching everything I could find, especially from that period.

50:22So it was just a lot of watching stuff. Do you start, though, doing the accent for your wife first? Well, it's such a sexy accent. It's so hot. Maybe a little bit here and there. The good news is we had a whole week of rehearsal. Oh, okay. Which you don't get a lot anymore. And we went to Italy and he had us at his incredible villa, like an hour and a half outside of Turin, where he cooks for you. Oh my God. It's so crazy. We got to really work on it. But then they were all nice. Andrew Garfield, lovely guy, and Monica. And it was great. It's Cooper Hoffman. You got two Coopers in that film. Two Coopers.

51:01Yeah, you got two Coopers in that film. Who's the other Cooper? I'd have to look it up. But this morning when I was looking at the cast list, I was like, they got - Oh, Duh, yeah. Yeah, duh. Duh, fucking. They got fucking Cooper Cots. They got Cooper coming up the cars. We got Cooper Cots from the fucking Ryan Murphy show. He played one of the fucking brothers who killed his parents and kissed his brother. Hey, how you gonna forget fucking Cooper? He's the New York guy who loves Ryan Murphy. Have you seen the new fucking show with Ashton Kutcher? You seen Beauty? Beauty. Fuck me. Fuck, you know he's a great actor.

51:30He's that fucking Evan Peters. That guy, that guy is fucking great. The fucking FX on that show? You know, Ryan Murphy, I don't know how this fucking guy sleeps. He's got fucking beauty. He's got the fucking JFK show. When does he fucking sleep?

51:49And he's also, he's very attentive to his husband and his fucking kids. He's all in. So, great actors. It was fun. Was it fun? So fun. Shot in Italy. What part of Italy were you in? We were up north in Torino. Is that where the Olympics were just at? Milan, yeah. They were like around that at Milan, Cortona, fucking Bologna. Yeah, home of the Ducati factory. Bologna is my opinion. Best food in Italy, Bologna. Because it's the whole Emilio Campania region. That's Parmigiano. That's beef. That's Barolo. That's the shit. I watched that. Some nice Vitallo Carpaccio. Pounding where you put it. Yeah, because I had to work and play Elon.

52:28I'm that body. So I was like pounding pasta and Negronis at night. Yum, fun. It was great, man. I loved it. What are your go-to meals that you make since you're a cook? I just want to know personally. The thing I make best are chicken cutlets. Chicken cutlets mashed potato. Like, I make a chicken cutlet that rivals any schnitzel, any South Jersey Italian deli. It would kill you to invite me over for that? No. Okay. I mean, just like, whenever you're having it, you just text me, you want to try this, and I cruise over. It wouldn't just be you. It would be Kristen and your kids. I'd prefer it was just me.

53:02I would like a break. My family would prefer it. It would be best for my family if your whole family came. It would be strange if you came. But that's something that I really love. I'm obsessed with potatoes. I really like went crazy. I think starting during COVID, I was like, I'm going to become a potato master. Really? It's a great, great foundation for everything, right? Every shape they come in is great. You know what I love? You got to get big rusted potatoes. Those are the best. And you cut them into like thick fries, but then you roast them in a ton of olive oil and a little bit of like beef fat.

53:34Oh. Those things are like, yeah, I'm going to make that tomorrow night. Okay. Okay. Again, you have my number. I'll swing by. Swing by. I bring my family. I don't. We'll see. We'll see. I'm setting it for nine. I also love going on Instagram and just seeing what home cooks are doing now. There's this guy named Giovanni Siracusa. I'm all about now. What can I do for exactly 45 minutes from my first chop to my plate down? and he does a lot of very family friendly, fast, fast, but yummy, healthy. I try to cook as healthy as I can at home. That beef tallow. The beef tallow is, you know, I only put a little bit in.

54:17Man, every fucking dumbass thing now, people are like, seed oils, seed oil, you take a seed oil, you're fucking dead instantly. Beef tallow. Oh. Beef tallow. And it's like, listen, it's become political. It's become political. And I like beef tallow. Like when I'm making steak and potatoes, I use a little beef tallow. I just saw an ad where they're like, now our chicken tenders fried and beef tallow. I'm like, no. I know. I don't want my chicken to taste like beef. Yeah. Just fucking use peanut oil. I don't get it. It's like a political thing now. It's just dopey. I don't get it. I don't get it.

54:47Yeah. What if I took off my hat and I just completely. Because you're not having any beef tallow. Still on PRP up there? Oh, yeah. Still doing that? Not too long ago. Okay. I saw my boys. You got on the gas. Got on the gas. Little zhing zhing. Zhing zhing. Right. I should try that. I'm doing a topical in the morning and at night and my hair is so greasy and gross. It's so gross. Do you have like the fucking yellow patch on your bed? Because I put the drops in at night and then one day my wife was like looking at our bed, she goes, oh. Yeah. And there's just like a discoloration exactly where I play Wordle where my head, and it's like so clearly my shit.

55:25Your finasteride and your minoxidil. It's like in Coming to America, Soul Glow, when they all stand up and they have. Let your soul glow. I still get my work done a little bit on that. Okay, now we're here to talk about Funny You Ask. Funny You Ask. Do you guys know what a podcast is? Have you ever heard of this? We are familiar with the format. I thought it was a good time to get in. Yes, it is an ideal time. Many years after we asked you to get in, by the way. You came to my house and we're like, you need to do this. I just didn't have the thing. I didn't know what it is. No one of course it.

55:56I have no resentment. I have no bitterness whatsoever. Nothing but rooting for you. If you win the Golden Globe, we will be upset. He will. That will be, yeah. That's going to be tough. How did the idea hit you this time? You're in the shower. I'm in the shower. I'm cleaning my butt. Sure. Getting that finger up there. I have a mirror at the ceiling of my bath. I lay on my back and kind of hoist my legs up so I can watch myself cleaning. Yeah, yeah. It's about a half hour. Yeah. And then the next day I thought of the idea. Right, right, right, yeah. No, I was talking to this guy. we had a mutual friend and we were just kind of chatting over lunch and I as you know I love trivia I love my Jeopardy my millionaire I love all that stuff and I was just like I love when I find out someone knows something about something like when you find out someone is randomly like oh yeah no I'm a fan of that and I can kind of answer questions about it I was like oh what if I could just talk to my funny friends ask them questions and then riff entered the riff zone.

56:54And so we've kind of just did it. I have so much intellectual vanity that it immediately gave me anxiety because you invited me on. And not only did I say yes, I've even reached out to you. Like, when are we recording? That's not typical of a guest. I'm pursuing your show. Which I really appreciate. I want to tell everyone to assuage you. No one is going to walk out where they're like, I didn't get anything right. I'm a moron. I have to commit seppuku. I need a second to administer the death blow. That is not going to happen. I write my guest questions myself and I make sure that I'm not going to like make anyone feel dumb.

57:33But here's where I'm talking about the intellectual vanity and anxiety struck me is you're going to cement it logically in whatever my presumed expertise is, right? Like minimally probably what I majored in in college. But if we make it about anthro and I fuck it up, this is something else. But if you ask me about biology or neuroscience and I shock you because that's not supposed to be. Do you know what I'm saying here? I shine better when I like, oh, I wouldn't have thought he knew anything about that. But now we're talking about the thing I'm supposed to know something about. True. That's where it gets tricky for me.

58:05Yeah. When my fear. Again, my goal of it is to like make it to the first round of questions. You should know them. They're softballs. I don't want to say softballs, but if you know something about it, you'll probably know it. Hardball, but 40 mile an hour pitch. An IFAS pitch. just it's very high but can be difficult to hit but then as it gets on especially as we get to the later speed rounds and stuff there'll be some ones in there that's gonna stretch your brain a little bit so there's gonna be points is it like a score the scoring system it's completely arbitrary and I make it up every time and I'll give you a bonus point if you answer the question in a funny way so there's no scoring there's no winning there's no losing but you will rank the guess at the end of the year who is the smartest that's the Kalshi betting market I have nothing to do with that wow Okay.

58:48That is a joke, by the way. I am not affiliated with culture. I'm affiliated with Kashi. Kashi. The granola. The mucilus. Not the other one. So you've done, you've had. Who have I had? I've had Kimmel. I've had Kate Hudson. I've had Tiffany Haddish, Dave Franco, and Mindy Kaling. Okay. So what was Mindy's category? Was it television? Mindy's categories were fashion. Fashion. Great. Love it. 80s Boston Celtics. Oh. And Indian food. Because her father was a huge Celtics fan. She grew up going to Celtics games and Indian food, which I'm a big Indian food guy. So I had a lot of fun writing those. The most fun for me is writing the questions.

59:29I'm living my fantasy of being a Jeopardy writer. The guests ask me questions, but 0 % do I see those? Those are written by my producer, Annabelle. Okay. She keeps them separate from everyone. So I am 100 % surprised. Fully compartmentalized. Yes. Honor system. I bet you're experiencing the same joy I have, which is our Wednesday guests are always experts on some generally academic topic that I have to brush up on in anticipation of their arrival. And so I love that part. Yeah, especially if I have a guest who has an interest like Dave Franco. One of his was movies from the year 1999, which 1999 is a lot of people think was like the best year of movies.

1:00:11Really? What do we have? We're making a point lately that the Academy Awards is less and less relevant because there's 50 movies. Only one of them would have made the top 10 in 99, if that. There we go. Here we go. You're getting glasses on. I'm going to read you a quick little list. Here we go. Cute glasses, too. Thank you. All right. You ready for this? Magnolia. Eyes Wide Shut. The Matrix. Oh. The Sixth Sense. Oh. Office Space. Oh. Being John Malkovich. Oh, my God. The Green Mile. Fight Club. Oh. Hold on. I'm trying to think of some other ones. American Beauty was on there. Oh, wow. Yeah, what a year.

1:00:48I'm trying to think what else. Wow. It's crazy. This is my point. There are more movies that are going to stand the toast of time in that list than there have been in the last eight years. This was awesome. It's just a volume thing. It's a volume. It's fine. I'm not critical of any single person, but it's a total volume game. Yeah, totally. But anyways, for that one, I was so excited because I got to fucking just watch. And is Franco, is that like what age was he at? Why is that the year for him? He's just a young guy and he worked in a video store in the Bay Area. He knows them all. All of his friends were watching American Pie and he's like, you need to see Bing John Malkovich.

1:01:21Yeah. I feel like I have no expertise. No, you can do cheerleading. You can do the Olympics. You could do fashion. Oh, 96 Olympics gymnastics only. That is Atlanta. That's Atlanta. That's right. She was in Atlanta at the time. Well, I was actually in Tennessee at the time. Did you see Richard Jewell while you were there? Do you know who Richard Jewell is? Richard Jewell The bomber? Well, the man who was accused of being the bomber Who was not the bomber They actually made a movie about it a few years ago That Clint directed That is low-key pretty great You know Paul Walter Hauser? He plays Richard Jewell He's so good in it, dude He's great in everything And his lawyer is Rockwell I mean, there's always going to be some weird shit In a Clint movie, yeah But his performance, the feds done him dirty, man.

1:02:11He was just a nerdy guy. And they were like, sketchy guy. Looks like he'd be a bomber. Looks like he might be a bomber. Ham is the FBI agent. He's like, this guy might be a bomber. Based on the fact that he looks like a dude in high school I didn't trust. Yeah, exactly. He looks like a guy I bullied in high school. I used to push a lot. Fun movie. What was Kimmel's expertise? Kimmel was pizza pie. Oh, yes. 80s music. Did you hit him with any Huey Lewis trivia? I know he's such a Huey fan that I withheld. He might be the number one Huey Lewis fan. Biggest Huey fan. There's not a Huey question you could ask him.

1:02:51He would outdo Huey in a... 100%. 1 ,000%. Did you see how he just accidentally came over and said, you go 100%, go 1 ,000%. That's a gross test guy. I'm just impulsively... It's like my instinct. Yeah, what you said times 10. To the 10th. Whatever, to the 10th. He loves Marvel Comics. He was like a big Marvel Comics nerd. Kate, I must know. Kate was female singer-songwriters. Well, that's very on-brand. Very on-brand. Cocktails. Oh, nice. She loves a good cocktail. I love that. And then her other one was, oh, she was 90s movies, but kind of more the whole decade. I threw in a couple of Kurt Russell questions for her.

1:03:27Did she get them? Oh, yeah. Cute. And what are yours going to be? Can't even remember what I told you. I'm presuming anthro. Yeah, yeah. One was motorcycles. and then the third one, I think I would prefer cars over motorcycles. I think it was cars slash motorcycles. Okay. Anthropologies or evolution. Tractors. It's not going to be tractors. It's not. Okay. I don't want to fucking read about tractors for an hour. I know. Well, Lamborghini made tractors. I have a boner for some of these 60s Lamborghini tractors. They started as a tractor company. They did? Yes, but the Lambo style is in a tractor.

1:03:59It's so cool and there's train track ones. The good thing about it is you love that carmaker but you have all those crops out there that have not been cut. Exactly. So two birds, one stone. Yes, yes. One expensive stone that you have to transfer here from another country. I think the story, no, that might be Dukhan. This is actually interesting. So you have to pick categories that also are going to be interesting to an audience. A little bit. And that will also inspire a little riff. Are you saying we lost people on the Lamborghini tractor history? I mean, this is actually a pretty good riff, so we should save it maybe.

1:04:29The government did come to, I think, Lamborghini was like, we need you to make vehicles. We need a tractor, but the sexy. Yeah. And the kind that you can put four wheels on. And that is an automobile. Yeah, but you still can smoke a cigarette on the truck. I've turned it off. I've turned it off. You've turned it off. You're just like in another fucking place right now. You're thinking about someone doing a floor routine in 1996. That's right. Dominic Mochianu. That's right. I remember that. Sure, sure. And then it's obviously leading. It's a jump off point. It's a jump off point just so we can have fun.

1:04:59It's just fun to ask you. I brought questions. Oh, my God. Is that a pack of cigarettes or? It's a pack of Trivial Pursuit questions I brought. Oh, my God. You brought? Yeah, okay. Read. Yeah, yeah. I have not read these. I'm going to be zero points. Oh, we're going to do to each other. This is so much. I don't know. Okay, so how do we play this game? Just go around and we'll ask questions. Can you have to go in order top to bottom? Sure. Or whatever you like. Let's go top to bottom. So I don't want any like cherry picking. What nation's Pantanal wetland is home to 270 bird species? Okay, I have a guess.

1:05:31Argentina. Close. Brazil. Oh. That's where we're going to come to Brazil. All right, ask me one. Okay. What worthy Texas city opened the National Cowgirl Museum and Hall of Fame in 2002? I would say Dallas or Fort Worth because of Worthy. I bet it's going to be that. Let's see. Fort Worth. Fort Worthy. All right, Monica. We had a little clue in there. That was tough. Monica, ask us one. I don't want to go top to bottom. I want to find a good one. Yeah, find a good one. Go top to bottom. Yeah, I want to find a good one. I don't trust you. Oh, AE is one of you. What do you mean you don't trust me?

1:06:01I don't. Okay. AE is one of you. Okay, fine. I'll do AE. Yes. That's arts and entertainment. Okay, great. You guys are going to get this. This is my weakest one. What director claimed blondes make the best victims because, quote, they're like virgin snow that shows up the blood. On the count of three. Three, two, one. Hitchcock. Good job. Which future Charlie's angel provided the singing voice of Melody for TV's Josie and the Pussycats? Oh. This is one where it's like, I'm out. Yeah. I mean. I don't know the names of all the angels. Farrah Fawcett's one. She was one. But she didn't sing. Jacqueline Smith was one.

1:06:36Okay. Kate Jackson. And the answer to this one, I believe, is Cheryl Ladd. Okay, never. I don't know who that is. Go ahead, ask one. Okay, next one. I'm going to skip arts. No, I'll do arts and entertainment. I'm going in order, despite. What beloved actor did columnist David Anson eulogize in 2001 as the Paganini of Panic? Paganini? Paganini of Panic. Paganini of Panic. Which beloved actor died in 2001? Oh, of Panic. Panic? Who was like an actor who was constantly panicked? Who died in 2001? Who died in 2001? Who was like always scared? Was it Farrah Fawcett? For some reason, I feel like it's a male actor.

1:07:22Yeah. It's a big male actor. Oh, it is? Marlon Brando. Jack Lemmon. Oh. Jack Lemmon, that's right. I should have known that one. Jack Lemmon died in 2001. He did not see 2002. I'm going to go. History or science or something, you know. Okay. What's SN? Science and nature. What button is disabled in almost all elevators according to global elevator technologies? I know some things don't have a 13th floor, but I don't think that's it. Button is disabled? In almost all elevators. I'm going to say stop. Okay. I'm going to say the door open button. I think it's door closed. Hey, good job, Rob. Was the door closed?

1:08:04Yeah. He got it. So when I see someone walking and I'm hitting the door close button, it does nothing. It doesn't work. I feel like it works for me. Shit. I feel like it works for me too. But also, I would have thought doors open because if you're like mid transit, you're dropping floors and you're trying to hit the door open, it must be disabled so you can't open the doors while it's in motion. Oh. Or ever. You shouldn't be able to prematurely have it open the doors. It should be in charge when the doors open. I agree with that. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert. If you dare. We are supported by Klarna.

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1:10:26This episode has been brought to you by Anthropic. feels like I'm expanding my thinking in every conversation and actually learning. And Anthropic, the company that makes Claude, has committed to keeping it ad-free. So when I'm in the middle of exploring something, my conversation stays mine. Claude's only job is to give me a helpful answer. For anyone who likes to sit with a problem rather than just get the quick fix, Claude's been the thing for me. Try it free at claude.ai slash armchair expert and see why problem solvers choose Claude as their thinking partner. We are supported by Kodiak. I'm always looking for breakfast options.

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1:11:38Literally just heat and eat. I mean, I'm all over those gluten-free options. Really delicious. Absolutely. And then just the bang for the buck on the protein cannot be beat. You can find Kodiak Power Waffles and Buttermilk Power Flapjacks in the freezer aisle at your local grocery store. It's comfort food with purpose. We are supported by Nordic Naturals. Okay, here's something that surprises me. More than 80 % of Americans don't get enough Omega-3s in their diet. And Omega-3s, they're vital for your heart, brain, eyes, skin, joints, and the list goes on. That's where Nordic Naturals, the number one selling omega-3 brand in the U.S., comes in.

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1:13:18What Londoner ticked off her fellow designers in 2000 by narrating an anti-fur video? Oh, I should maybe know this. An anti-fur video. What Londoner? Her fellow designers. Fellow designers. Diane von Furstenberg? She's not a Londoner. I'll give you a hint. Her father is not from London. okay donna ferricicello whatever her name is donna he's italian versace is all the sometimes talked like this well but i thought you just said her dad was he's not from london okay dad is not from london but she he's from a different british city maybe liverpool he's a beetle oh Estella McCartney. There you go.

1:14:03Good job. That was it. Good job. Her dad wasn't from London, dude. Oh, wow. Her father once got up, got out of bed, and ran a comb across his head. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Okay. What American at Oxford was Britain's fifth most eligible woman in 2001, according to the... 2001 again? ...Tattler Magazine? So what American at Oxford in 2001? It was Britain's fifth most eligible woman in 2001. Oh, I have an idea. Is it an actress? I don't know. But the gal that was in the Pirates movies. Keira Knightley? Yeah. Keira Knightley, but she's not American. She's not American, yeah. Oh, no, she's certainly not American.

1:14:47What famous actress went to college at Oxford? I'm going to guess Natalie Portman. No, she didn't go to Oxford. She went to Harvard. My name's fucking Natalie Portman. I know, look at the... Fucking snowed everywhere. Oh, okay, okay. Can you give a hint? I don't think it's an actor. Her father is Paul McCartney from London. He's Stella McCartney. The clue I would give would be just so telling. I'm going to reread the question, okay? What American at Oxford was Britain's fifth most? That would be my daughter, Chelsea Clinton. That's my daughter. Hands off. Good job. Chelsea, I'd love to come visit you and your co-host in Oxford.

1:15:24Is that possible? I don't want to miss graduation. No, Dad. We're good. We're straight. Are you sure? Okay. They're testifying, I think, very soon. Right now. Right now, right? Yeah. Should we go live to it? Rob, go live. I did not have sexual relations on Epstein's Island. All right. You guys like history? I love it. It's his go-to. What admiral was the first person to fly over both the North and South Poles? Wow. I have a hint if you need it. I want to say Adminson, but I don't know if he was flying. I think he might have been pre-flight because they said fly over. This would be probably in the 20s.

1:16:06Yeah. Probably in the 20s. Admiral Ackbar from Star Wars. I'm going to go with Ackbar, too. It's not any of the discoverers. It's not Perry or Admanson or Fitzgerald. Shackelford was another one. Was he maybe Everest, Shackelford? It's not the Edmund Fitzgerald. It's not the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. His last name is very apropos. flying over the north and south. No, but... Maybe polar. Snow. Jon Snow. Jon Snow. It's Jon Snow. No, it's Richard Bird. Richard Bird. That doesn't even ring a bell. I never heard that. I actually think that's a fake name. What rodents meet do three out of four Peruvians munch?

1:16:50Oh, easy. Believing it cures arthritis. Easy. You're right. Do three, two, one? Oh, no, I was just giving you time to... Oh, I thought you wanted to guess. Because I feel like I know it, so I didn't want to be a dick. No, you can go. I don't know. The capybara? No. What? Fucking guinea pig. Oh, ew. Okay. Hey, I'm obsessed with capybaras. They're the grandest. My friend went to a capybara sanctuary where they like walk up to you and kind of sit next to you and get in your face. They're adorable. I'm not a big rodent guy in general. Yeah, sure. Capybaras. I didn't even know they qualified. I think it's a maiko.

1:17:20They're the world's largest rodent. They don't look like - They look like Kilo Shetland. Yeah. It's like a Star Wars toy. Yeah. Like an Ewok. Okay, here we go. How many blowholes does a baleen whale boast? I'm going to say zero. I'm going to say two. It's two. I'm guessing. I'm not a blowhole guy. I had my blowhole removed last year. I don't even like to think about it. I'm a blowhard. What do you got, Monica? Okay. I really want to do a hard one. I have two more questions after this. I'm fine. What South African corporation sells two-thirds of the world's diamonds? Oh, we know this. Three, two, one.

1:17:58Debeer. Good job, yes. The Bears. You got it. Where'd you get your wife's ring? The Bears. The Bears.

1:18:10What about what NBA superstar maintains anonymity by registering at hotels as Vladimir Mondingo? Oh. This one I don't know. I'm looking. Oh, I mean. I think here's a time to go with your number one prankster in the NBA. Which is who? Shaquille O 'Neal. Oh, that's a good guess. Yes, it is, Dax Shepard. Wow, that's really good. I would have said like Durant or something. Or Vladi Diva. Vladi, yeah. He takes you to Russians. Yeah, yeah. Very impressive. What was it? Mandingo. Yeah, he's always got a dick joke going. He famously put a Subway sandwich in his shorts one time. Wow, I'm impressed. Yeah, okay.

1:18:49That was good. What product did Singapore agree to let residents use as long as they had a prescription in In order to secure a U.S. free trade agreement. I think I know what this is. I think I do too. I'm going to say chewing gum. I haven't looked, but. How do you guys know this stuff? Because there was a guy in the 90s, a kid who was in Singapore. People will say it's the cleanest place in the world. It's like Disneyland. Yeah. The flip side of that is this American dude, I think, just took a piece of gum and threw it on the ground or put it on a wall. They caned him and took a bamboo stick and whipped his ass like 10 times, I feel like.

1:19:25That was in the 90s. Big news story. Oh, wow. And I went with my mother to Singapore in probably 98, and we specifically brought gum and chewed it. That's why I knew it. We decided to just be outlaws by chewing gum. Smart. Going to a foreign country where they have draconian laws. Let's break a few rules. That's our spirit. Chewing gum. Yep. You got it. Wow. Yeah, really good. Give us one more. Okay, last one. Let's do this last one. I love that you carry these. Bree and I used to, my ex-girlfriend. We go to a restaurant and just have the stack of them in her purse. I love it. What veteran ABC announcer nixed NBC's invitation to work the Sydney Olympics, claiming Australia is too damn far away?

1:20:07ABC, the only guys I remember from ABC were Peter Jennings or Sam Donaldson. That feels like a Donaldson. It feels like a Donaldson. It does. Because he was a little more salty and kind of like, all right, I'm going to say Donaldson. Cantankerous. He was cantankerous. I'll say Donaldson. Final answer. Jim McKay. Oh, Jim McKay. Oh, Jimmy Jam. My last one. Jimmy Jammer. What fruit was legally ruled to be a vegetable by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1893 tariff dispute? I know what this is. I hate myself. Oh, no, I didn't. Yeah, because did you think tomato? Because it's the opposite. I think tomato.

1:20:38No, that's the opposite. It's a fruit. Tomato. It's not tomato. That's my final answer. No, it's a fruit. Right, that's the point. It was ruled as a vegetable for a trade agreement, but really it's a fruit. That's the point. My problem is I read too fast because I was like, it's bananas. Cuba, bananas, the tropics, Hawaii. That's bananas. But then I feel like we would have heard that it got switched. What they're saying is they're giving you the origin story of why there's confusion about whether it's a vegetable or a fruit. It's clearly a fruit. It has seeds, but it needed to get ruled as a vegetable to qualify for a trade agreement.

1:21:14There was a sub ruling, though, that anyone who when someone asks, when someone says, oh, my favorite vegetable is a tomato. And someone goes, it's actually a fruit. you're legally allowed to slap that person. Yeah. This is per U S code. Yeah. Not my ruling. That's the only great outgrowth of that trade agreement is that it is now legal to slap someone. If they correct you on something obvious that everyone knows, if they tell you that the Phil Collins song in the air tonight is about a guy who watched another guy drown, then you can just slap the shit out of them. Fucking repeatedly. Right there.

1:21:45What other things? There's a few things that fall under this. You know, I would say the girl from poltergeist is dead. You know, she died. Like that's one where it's like, yeah, I fucking know. Yeah, stop it. Get out of here. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, that was really fun. That was. I like asking questions and I like answering questions. And I was like, what if we put this together with people I like and it was funny? I know it's really a gross part of my behavior, but I love answering questions. I love it. I do. It's like shameful. Nothing gives me more joy. Oh God, I love it so much. What's wrong?

1:22:14Well, we know. We talked about it last time. Yeah, but it's just like we spent our lives, people have spent their lives reading weird shit and wondering when is it ever going to pay off in my life that I could name the Pope who started the great schism? When am I ever going to be in a position where I'm going to be asked that? And now you might. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. It's ROI, which we talked about last time too. It's final return on investment. You've put some time into this for no reason. And now we finally, this is a financial podcast, by the way, this is your return of investment. Our next guest is the guy, Jim, what's his name?

1:22:43Jim Cramer. Jim Cramer. Yeah. He's following you. Saw him outside just running sprints back and forth. All right, I love you. You guys are the greatest. Thanks for number four. I know we'll see you on number five. When are we recording, I guess is my question. I think I have two days off from the studio and we're kind of locking it in there. You're gonna be with great company. We got you, we got Russell Brand. Oh, geez, I'm gonna take a rainy. Who else is on there? BTK killer. Okay, uh-huh, uh-huh. And, oh, Henry Kissinger's Ghost. Okay. So I think you're gonna be with like people that you're gonna be like, this is kind of fun and splashy.

1:23:22And Casey Anthony. Great. This sounds great. We have our first tranche. Sure. And then we have. And then we have me and the gang. The second group. You and the gang. You and the gang. Do the sponsors know about the lineup? No, we tell them afterwards. Okay, okay, great. I look forward to seeing you on Saturday wearing a full diaper. Oh yeah, that's right, Sunday. Sunday. He wishes it was Saturday. And the actor goes to... He's here at backstage. I run out crying on stage. He's getting toilet paper. I'm sorry. It's for my health. Get our kids out of here. The kids need you. I interrupt the thing because...

1:24:00I know. I can't handle it. Where's the hell? Benicio's filming him. I've shit myself and the kids need something. You have to come off stage. You've got to look at this video I got of Dax Shepard shitting himself on stage. He shit you. He shit you for real. All right. Love you. Love you, baby. He is an armchair expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. Thank God Monica's here. She's got to let him have the facts. I'm 10 year old. Why? Because I'm wearing shorts. And your hair is back in a braid ponytail. Yeah, because I have to wash my hair. It's a thousand degrees out. So. It feels like Bali outside.

1:24:44Have you been to Bali? No. Okay. I haven't. Actually, that reminds me, I was playing a fun game yesterday. Bajan? No, that's tonight. I was playing a fun game where you say the name of a country. Uh-huh. Like I would say Japan. Okay. And then you in your head think of from a scale of one to 10, how badly you want to go there. Okay, great. And then I guess your number. Okay, Japan. Okay, for me? Okay, I have my number. Okay. Okay. For you, I guess, I guess nine. Yes. Nine. I really want to go. Guess for me. Oh, oh, oh, nine, 10, 10. I'm dying to go. I'm dying to go too. And all my like idols, all my mentors in my life, they don't just go like, oh, I like it.

1:25:39They're like, you, you have to, for some reason they think I have to, that I'm going to really respond to what's happening. Let me tell you something. Yeah. I know this isn't fair. I do this to people. I tell them that their answers are wrong. Okay. I think your answer is wrong. Because? Because you don't like fish or sushi. I do like some sushi. You don't like real nigiri. I like yellowtail and salmon on rice. I used to get that from sugarfish all the time. Okay. Until I got a one bad order and I cannot go back. And now you're not. But also they do a ton of great steak. They do wagyu. Yeah. I think food-wise, it's not going to be your 10.

1:26:22Yes. That's not why people - So I brought it down to nine. Okay. Okay. The reason people want me to go there is that everything is executed perfectly. Oh, I know. I'm so excited to go. Like Tom Hansen's like, when the man is sweeping the cobblestone, it's like he's building a Swiss watch. Like everything is done meticulously. I love that. And I would love to witness that. I also think you're going to feel a little crowded on the trains and stuff. I think you're going to feel a tiny bit claustrophobic and tall. Slash grateful because I'll be so much bigger than everyone. Okay. I'll feel like Godzilla.

1:26:58I still think you're a nine. Okay. I'm basing it on like, what is my like, first of all, it's a it's a hurdle to get there. It's you're losing a day. Right. So if I got to pick my very next place I went to, it's my pick. Yeah, me too. Like I'm going to Budapest, which is high on the list, but it's more convenient to what's already happening. But really, the thing I most want to go to is Japan. Yeah. That's why I got to set it at 10. I understand. Yeah. That makes sense. What you did. What's your one that you, like right now you can teleport anywhere. What is it? Okay, now see, this is hard. Okay.

1:27:35Because do I want to go somewhere new for my teleportation? Yeah, it's got to be new. Oh, it does. For this game. Okay, then Japan, yes. That's your also top next. Yeah, the problem is some of my tens are places I've been. Sure, sure. Yeah, for me too. Like Paris is a ten. Africa to me would be like going back to Africa would be a ten. So where do you think Africa is? Well, Africa is a continent, but. Specifically the Grometty Reserve in Tanzania is where I would want to go. Or I really, really want to go to Mozambique. I want to go to the Akwanga Delta. Okay. Okay. Mozambique, which is the jewel of Africa, they say.

1:28:13It's all water. You're like on boats seeing elephants and stuff. And where do you think that is on my list? 6.57. Six. Okay. Yeah, actually 6.5. I just don't do.5s. But yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. I'm very knowable. I'm putting it a little higher than you are because I actually know how luxurious it could be. And you don't know that. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure I would absolutely love it. Yeah. I know I would. But as we discussed recently, it is a character defect. I'm working. I'm trying to work on it. Okay. I don't have enough appreciation for nature. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And I recognize that.

1:28:53Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I wish I had more. Boy, if any place would break through, it would be Africa. Yeah, I bet. Yeah. I mean, as I said, you can tell it's the cauldron of life. Right, exactly. It's palpable. Yeah. But I think I'm going to teleport to. New York or Paris. Yeah. Yeah. Or London. Or Italy or London. I am this summer going to try to go to London and Paris. Okay. So that's nowhere new. Right. I'm not in the mood for new this year. Will you be traveling alone there or will you be? No, friends. Okay. What friends are? Anna. She wants to go to Europe. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:29:33And we went to London together when we all went to London. Yes. And we had just the best time and we talk about it all the time, how we need to go back. Yeah. So I think we're going to go back. It's great. Italy, so obviously, I think it's the best personally, but it is unrelentingly hot in the summer yeah and then there's so many tourists i feel so bad for the italians that's a mix of i feel so bad for them and also that's such a huge chunk of their economy that of course i don't feel bad for them but i just like if you lived in rome and 90 of the people you saw day to day didn't live weren't your neighbors that live there that must get taxed probably like if you live in on sunset i don't know if it's that bad i think when you're walking through rome you're seeing in the summer if you live on hollywood boulevard yeah if you live on hollywood yeah that's what i meant or if you live in times square that's tough you live right in times square yeah it could be challenging didn't um didn't alexander skarsgård lived live in kind of somewhere horrendous right in the middle of times square yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like when i stayed when they put me for baby mama initially at a hotel above a fire station in the police station across from the Grand Central Station.

1:30:50Oh, ouch. And I was like, they, they hate me. We were just, this just came up in my Tuesday meeting, just status. And I think especially when you're on sets and people are ranked and like battling. Literally ranked on the call sheet. Yeah. It's like one to your, your number 61 and, and you get allocated resources based commensurate with that number. right so yeah so I'm at the shit box above the you know fire department yeah and where was like Amy who's probably number Amy and Tina are number one and two Tina and Amy live there oh yeah so I'm trying to think who I would have had to go to next ultimately they got me out of there and I went to the maritime which was great yeah and there's ghosts there there was ghosts there yeah and you're right in the meat packing there's great food and it was lovely anyway that was just the topic on Tuesday.

1:31:42And a friend of mine who is about to go on a press tour was like, I just want to make sure I behave and don't get caught up in like, am I in that picture? Am I not? Did they ask me to go to this interview or not? It's hard. And he reached out to a fellow person and I can't believe this brilliant advice. They're like, well, there's someone else in the cast that's younger and probably needs help. That hasn't been here before. That can be your job. Focus on that person. Yeah, that's lovely. And he did. And he goes, I've never felt better ever. I never considered one of the things I did or didn't get.

1:32:10And the parents of this person thought I was so nice. And I told them I'm not. I was just being selfish. I wanted to make sure I didn't act like a brat and it was a joy to do it. And I am actually grateful to you. Yeah. Anyways. That's great. Yeah. I was like, what great advice. What was this event you were at just now? I wasn't at an event. I thought you were busy today. Oh, I was. I was recording. I was. I had a meeting and a recording. What was the recording i ended up not doing it i ended up having to reschedule it but it was for we're we're um testing out a season two of beth's death oh okay we have a potential story and so we want to record us at the very beginning talking about the merits of it exactly exactly yeah um what's well you can't you'll tell me privately i can't talk about it but someone contacted you i presume with this story?

1:33:04Actually, so it's funny because we, you know, we've been kind of keeping our ears open for interesting stories that are meaningful, that will do the same thing that this first one did. So we're not just, you know, and we're not like on a timeline or anything. It's just if there's something good, we'll do it. Yeah. So Elizabeth came across a couple stories and she was telling me and then she was like, it's kind of like this story that happened to Andy. And then And I was like, wait, what? And then she tells that. And I was like, wait, why don't I know about this? What if you come to find out Elizabeth and Andy are the actual catfishers?

1:33:39They have all these stories. I did think I was like, what? Yeah. Well, we know what happened. I have a suspicious amount of stories. You know, I often hear myself telling a story and I'm like, if I was this person, I'd be like, nothing. You didn't get shot at. You know, like there's no way this also happened. And that thing had also happened. I know. Well, to be fair, this one isn't, it didn't actually happen to Andy. That's not really a fair way of me framing it. He was involved with people and this story happened to those people. Okay. Okay. So I'm supposed to do that. And then why is too hot?

1:34:12Well, I have to cut why? Because I feel bad. Okay. I just, I'm getting a tree delivery. Okay. That's getting planted in your yard? It's an indoor tree. Indoor tree. And it's very exciting. And there's three options and I really want to see them. And I really wanted it done by tonight because of Mahjong and Charlie's party tomorrow. So today was the only day. It was supposed to happen at 1130. Guess what? It's happening right now. Oh. So it really, it did. I got karma. You got hoisted. It was karma. Yeah. Okay. I guess I'll leave it in because I'm honest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So as you were walking out, they were walking in virtually.

1:34:57I mean, I didn't see them, but I assume they're there right now. She texted me. And it's hot. It's a hot topic. Oh, no, it's physically hot. It's physically hot. Yeah, yeah. It's outrageous. Not only like we get these blasts every year, we get these blasts of like three days of 90s and winter. We don't get or we have two weeks of 90s. Like I look today at the coming schedule for the next eight days out. It's still it never gets below 85 for the next 10 days that are on the map. It does make me anxious that it's happening in March. Like what is going to happen in August and September? Yeah, but again, I don't know that there's any, I don't know that it works that way.

1:35:38I hope not. Again, I told you about the dinosaur show. I found that weirdly comforting. Well, you just said you're watching one. I didn't tell you about the geology of it. More interesting than learning about the dinosaurs is learning about the history of the planet. This place is an absolute mess. So, right, it started as one continent, Pangaea. When that broke apart, it blacked out the sky. It was like 100 degrees cooler. Then there were these periods of insane methane and carbon dioxide. And it was in the hundreds. Everything died. Then it cooled off because of this. And then it came back like, I believe in global warming.

1:36:15Yeah. But we are talking about us moving up like two to four degrees Celsius. And it's just interesting to watch the show that the Earth has gone through cycles of hundreds of degrees Celsius. He couldn't sustain human life. No, but for the Earth's record, this isn't a skinny. Like, that's an interesting way to see it. We've also changed the way our own requirements from the Earth. We demand so much more. Yeah, and so did the explosion of trees. Like, there was not trees. This was an interesting, absolutely hard to believe fact. You know, sharks have been here longer than trees. Wow. Really? Like, what?

1:36:49Yeah, trees are like the green, the greenifying of the planet and there being oxygen here is so new in its five billion year history. Ding, ding, ding. So there's no trees and then there's too many trees and then everything died and then it came back. And there were all these crazy volcanoes that were just spewing forever and then it was dark out. And it's like, wow, this, this thing has seen it all. It's been through it. Ding, ding, ding, trees. Yeah. There's a tree in my, coming to my house. Oh, yeah, that is ding, ding, ding. So that's cool. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

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1:38:14the stakes of the tree coming into my house are high because it's not a small it's a large tree where does it live in the living room i'm so excited it's gonna look so pretty and it'll get enough light and who will water it so stop that's the part i'm having anxiety about will you have an automatic irrigation system no i'll water it i'm good at watering that'll be no problem i'm good at doing it i just don't know if i'm i do it right because things still die yeah you can chat it chat gg gt it'll probably tell you how many ounces of water to put in that's true schedule probably a smart device you can get to that like measures the soil moisture i bet you can automate the whole thing and fill up a tank once in a while and put nitrogen pellets in there i'll probably just keep it perfect okay i want to do that because it's an important tree.

1:39:04And if it dies. You don't even know what tree it is yet, but it is. I know it's important. You know, it's a very important tree. And if it dies under my watch. And you just have tons of soil in your, you obviously have tons of soil. It's going to be in a pot. Uh-huh. This is an interesting idea, right? To have like a ton of soil in your living room. Well, it's in a pot. Yeah. Like that. That doesn't have soil because that's a fake tree. Well, let's pretend it was real. Yeah. If there's a big, big pot of dirt over there, I bet we would smell it. It'd be fine. No, it has moss on top. It's fine. I have plants.

1:39:35Yeah, you're not a big plant guy. Just like I'm not a big, I'm not really interested in nature. Yeah, yeah. You're not really interested in plants. It's kind of like dogs. Like there's a lot of stuff that's outside. I don't need to bring it inside. It's fine with me that's outside and then I can go visit it outside. But I like like, you know. Yeah. Have you ever played Rummy Cube? Something is going on. I'm shook by the sim. Oh, wow. know what because what the next thing that was about to come out of my mouth was sort of like rummy cube yeah but yeah yeah there's tiles and have you ever played rummy cube yes i have it's so fun i like it lincoln and i had the most i mean she's becoming my erin weekly as she gets older don't say that you already have an erin weekly she's becoming your lincoln you should be nervous You guys have your own relationship.

1:40:25But I mean in that the way Aaron and I could in seventh grade get on to something that would last for hours and no one else was enjoying it. Oh, wow. OK. So she and I played Rummy Cube and we started singing at some point. And we sang for like two hours together playing this game. And it was as fun as someone can have. And that came on the heels of watching the second episode of DTF. Oh, my God. St. Louis. What a show. Yeah, I'm two in. Yeah, what a show. As you might expect, I've left all these guys' messages. Of course you have. Saying. Yes, you're mad. No, saying, well, I see that you guys are having a lot of fun talking about Peronis.

1:41:07Everyone's having a good laugh at the idea of someone having Peronis. It does feel like a personal attack. I will say. Yeah. I mean, they're having a good time with pronies as they should. It's such a stupid condition. I just think it's also crazy that I can leave a message that I have had pronies and I'm on the other side of pronies. I know. Thank God you're on the other side. I said to them, I know you guys think it's a real hoot, but you should know that I was told that it'll either heal by itself in a year or you'll have to have a C-section that is 50 % successful. And the other half of the time, you will never use your penis again.

1:41:52So I hope you guys know that that's what I had to deal with. And I know everyone's having a real good laugh. See, now you know what it's like. Now you know what it's like when someone's suffering from something. I know, but I get to call them. And then someone's making fun of it. They don't understand what it's like to live with this. I think it's a bad comp because it doesn't bother me at all. And ideally, we would want it to bother me so that I would understand how other people feel. Yeah. But that kind of confirms already my worldview, which is like, just get over it. But if you didn't. If I had lost my penis.

1:42:25Exactly. You might have more sensitivity. Well, you would have more physical sensitivity. I'd have no sensitivity. You'd have a lot of emotion. And also some sensitivity. exacerbated sensitivity. So, okay. It has no sensitivity. So you could like. I don't think it'll get erect. But can you feel anything? I don't know. It didn't sound, it didn't sound good. Like when they say you can't use your, you use it as a hammer instead. Yeah. You start using it. Yeah. Use it as a real tool, a tool as it's meant to be. As a wedge. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't like, I didn't do enough follow-up questions. Cause to be honest, when I heard that, I was like, we're not getting that procedure.

1:43:03I don't care what I don't care if the penis ties itself into a bow. We won't get a procedure that makes it not ever work. Right. I see. Yeah. However bad the Peronis could have gotten. I can't imagine rolling the dice, flipping a coin like that. It's a lot. It's a lot. And you got to concede. You got to talk to your partner about that. Of course. Yeah. But they might feel like I want you to take the risk because I can't even like I can't get this in. I thought you were going another direction. I hope that is the outcome. Oh, sure. Well, I guess they have a built-in out. Even if it's all twisted up, they're just like, I'm sorry, I can't.

1:43:44I can't put a bow tie in there. Yeah, I won't go. And then you just be like, but I don't want you to change. So you just be you. And then you never have to have sex again. That's right. Yeah, it's the dream. Every wife's dream. It's a lot of wives' dreams. Not all wives. It's not my wife's dream. I don't want to paint that picture at all. Yeah, we're not painting that picture. But it's some wives' dreams. Oh, my God. Let's see. What else? I keep thinking of movies to add to my list to show Lincoln. I'm so excited. Flirting with Disaster. I'm like, of course. How could I have not shown her Flirting with Disaster?

1:44:20You showed me that movie. Yeah, and I'm due for a rewatch. Yeah, I would rewatch that. Can I come over for that? I would love to rewatch that. Yes. And then Can't Buy Me Love, a commenter suggested. I was like, duh, it's my favorite teen movie of all time. Flirting with Disaster, ding, ding, ding. Richard Jenkins is in DTF St. Louis, and he's so good in it. He's so prominent. He's very prominent. I think everyone needs to watch DTF St. Louis. And you watch Wednesday. I've dropped off on Wednesday. But you've seen the first season, right? Yeah, I loved the first season. Yeah, so you know her kind of nemesis that's black.

1:44:55She's like a Slytherin. I don't know what they're called, but she's like a shapeshifter or whatever. She's got like green eyes. She's the detective that Jenkins is battling with. Oh, yes, you're right. She's great. And you get to see her real pupils for the first time, which is exciting. She's great. I have a question. What are your what's your opinion on what's going on with Love Story, the show about JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy? Do you know there's drama? No, it's the drama. I haven't watched it. The only thing I know about it is from you. Yeah, because I keep watching it. Yeah. Even though I know that there are some problematic things.

1:45:31Right. Well, Jack Schlossberg, who is, I'm going to tell you, he is Caroline Kennedy's son. In real life. Yes. Caroline Kennedy, who is JFK Jr.'s sister. Okay. Son of JFK. Yeah. And daughter of JFK. Daughter of JFK, yeah. Caroline is JFK's daughter. His brother was JFK Jr. Her son. Okay. And, you know. His grandson had he lived. Correct. JFK's grandson. What Caroline Kennedy has lived through is just so unbelievable. You just are like, how can one person endure that much? Brother, uncle, dad. Her dad, daughter, just died. Like recently? Yeah, in December of cancer. Oh, my God. Yeah, she was like 33 or something, Tatiana.

1:46:33She's just endured the most, you know? And Jack, that's his mom. And she's in the show. She's portrayed in the show, Caroline is. And they all are. And like Jack is very openly against this show. He's like, this is awful. Yes, this is not a correct depiction of anyone. And I totally understand that. And also, so at the beginning of the show, JFK Jr. is dating Daryl Hannah, as he did. And the depiction of Daryl Hannah is really not flattering. It's not? No. What things did they? They just make her look like very dumb and ditzy. and like she's doing coke and like she's just like a real like needy person.

1:47:25I've hung out with her once and I thought she was incredibly rad. Yeah. I had noticed someone had like a jacked up F-250 pickup truck at this small gathering. I was like, whose truck is that? It was hers. Oh, that's cool. She goes, yeah, I need it because I put my snowmobile in it. I'm like, you snowmobile? I'm like, this is so rad. Oh, God. Like, you are a mermaid, and you fucking have a jacked-up 250 in snowmobile? I think she's, like, a tough, cool woman. Yes. So she wrote an article, an op-ed, that was basically, like, very, very, very well done and said, this is all incorrect. Not just the, like, overall depiction of her, but some factual things.

1:48:07She was like, I've never done coke. Whatever. All these things. So there's like some real criticism that I very much understand. And I'm like, why am I still watching? And I am. I'm in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I guess I'm saying I'm sorry to Jack Schlosser and Daryl Hannah. And what I'm actually really saying is I can sometimes get on a high horse about people engaging in things that I think are wrong. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you are. And celebrity gossip and like dumb stuff. Yeah. But we love The Crown. Yeah. That to me doesn't have the same stink on it. Like that's such a beautifully done show.

1:48:54This is Ryan Murphy. I mean, it is classically Ryan Murphy. Uh-huh. It's salacious. Yeah, it is. Yeah, scandalous. And yet here I am participating. And you're going to finish. But I guess what I will say the difference is I'm watching it. I'm enjoying it. And I am very much aware. Like, this is all made up. Right, right, right. None of this is real or based on any real truth. So I can enjoy it and know it. I'm not at risk of getting like suede. It's fan fiction. Yes. I'm not going to start thinking about Daryl Hannah a specific way or any of these people a specific way based on it. So I guess maybe that's where I find a caveat.

1:49:33I wonder if I'll live long enough to be like a fringe character in a remake of some drama, you know? Okay. Who would it be? I don't know. You'd have to go like one of my most famous friends. Like if they did a movie about Ashton and Mila, somehow I was like, I made a couple scenes. You'd be there. And then they painted me like crazy. Well, then you'd be like, that's accurate. I just mentioned I love snowmobiles and you can say whatever you want about me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like if they so if they like portrayed you as very dumb, it would be like to service the Ashton story. Right. Which that was the point of this.

1:50:12She's a side character because the point is to get it, get him to Carolyn. You want him to be with Carolyn. Exactly. So if they had you as like an idiot and it was to service some story for Ashton, like it would suck. You have to blame her role. It would suck. It would be like, that's not true at all. and now people think that about me and I'm alive like you're alive I'm saying you would say like and now people have this impression of me I'm still a person out in the world well that is what ultimately kept me from getting to do the show this best thing I've ever written a false history of Daryl Hall oh right and I had met with Daryl seven times you know seven I met with him several times and we got along great and the conceit of the show is this is not his life.

1:50:59But I'm going to I'm going to explain this catalog of 40 hit songs in story and give them these fantastical origins. Well, I love while plotting this bigger arc of his life, which wasn't his life at all. And then the title of the show is going to be a false history of Daryl Hall. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, somewhat understandably, he's like, you know, at the 11th hour, he's like, yeah, just like I'm afraid people won't distinguish that. I understand. And then like, what if it's It's huge and then he's dead and who knows what thing people were referring to. But it's literally in the title. I know it's in the title.

1:51:32Yeah. I mean, look, I thought it was very clear and that there was nothing to it. And it would be very fun and such a fun and weird way to celebrate that amazing catalog. Yeah. Yeah. That sucks. I think in that case, I understand your personal. I'm going to give the listener an example of one of the episodes. Okay. All right. You know the song. One on one. I want to play that game tonight. one-on-one yeah yeah i know i know it yeah so one-on-one so it's a beautiful love song we all know there's a beautiful love song but really in that episode daryl shows up to a show at the roxy they're going to do this small thing for this like review thing and as he shows up he notices three guys unloading equipment from the bus and they're not the um roadies and so he tries to stop them as three dudes stealing all the equipment and they jump him at the beginning of the episode.

1:52:26Okay. And they need a song. Like there's always a thing. He needs a song, blah, blah, blah. The whole rest of the episode, which is following the other grander arc of the thing. Then there's some kind of resolution. He hears a thing. And then he's walking down the street at the end of the episode and he sees one of the guys that jumps on. And it's like, what? I want to play that game tonight. And as you're listening to those lyrics, you realize, oh, it could also very much be about finding the dude and being so excited to finally take on one of them. That's great. Yeah. So they all, all these things that you thought were about this, it's this exaggerated thing it really was about.

1:53:03And it was so fun to write. Yeah. I think you could have done it. And now I'm just too old. What if when he dies, it's even worse? I wanted to play him. It would be hard for me to watch someone else play him. Well. They were both tall and blonde. And when this thing was, had legs, I think I was 40 when this was really in full swing. And he was a little older when he got famous. He still could. I couldn't tell those songs because I'm 51. And we know those songs were written in the 80s. Oh. Well, can't you use AI? And then I'd have to watch Justin. Justin. I'd have to watch Butler. Austin Butler.

1:53:41Austin Butler do it. He would be my pick. What? No, that's a bad pick. No, he's so handsome and tall. And I met him, you know. Yeah. I was so smitten. Carly almost fell over. I know. My brother said, oh, my God, you're Elvis. It was a whole thing. I remember. But I'm just saying, hold on. Let me look up Daryl Hall. In the 80s. 80s. Blue-eyed soul. Okay. Austin Butler. What's the matter? No. Because? This guy is a real face. Like me. Exactly. He's got like a real normal face. Why don't you use AI? Like I could have played him. Yes, you definitely could have. Yeah, if I had that hairdo. Yeah. I got the blue eyes.

1:54:23Okay. I don't think this is dead in the water. I think that. Or I can play John Oates. What do you think? You could go either way. You could go either way. But I think. Pena. I wanted Pena to. Oh, that would be fun. Yeah, yeah. I really wanted Pena to play. Yeah. Okay. Well. It looks like Yorma. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. I think that you guys could do this and use the new AI technology to make you look younger, but it's still you. I, you know, Ben just sold a big company to Netflix that does this. So I think you could do this. Okay, I'll do it. Okay. Let's back on. That doesn't change how Daryl feels about it, but.

1:55:07Maybe time has changed. Oh, the thing is, is by the way, I could do this. He's a public figure. So, and there is a version where I could have done it without his permission, but I need the music. Right. The whole show is a celebration of the music. Would you feel it? I wouldn't want to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's no show without the music. Did you ever think about doing it with another musical figure that would say yes to it? Well, the reason I didn't is because, you know, I had this like four year obsession with Daryl Hall. Hall and Oates, but Daryl Hall. I just I like I it was such an obsession that I was like, I'm being called to do something more than just listen to the music, which is how I came up with the idea.

1:55:51I'm like, oh, I want to be more involved with this music than just listening to it. Yeah. And I don't I don't feel that way about the catalog of Sabrina Carpenter. Sabrina's. You could play her still. Brainy. Yeah, my window's closing of people I could play. You know, that's just that's just a fact. A new a new category is opening up. But no one's very prolific in this period. Like no one's trying to watch the third act of a famous singer's life. You know, you want to see the rise. You can be in the you're not in the flashbacks, but you're in the current day. Oh, boy. OK, so it's me current day and then Austin Butler only flashback.

1:56:36OK, I think we can do some facts now. Oh, I've done Ike Barinholtz facts. Yeah. Yes. And I did his show. That's right. Since he was on. And how was it? so much fun so much fun you said you got caught i got a couple oh i got several wrong is that what you mean yeah but you said you thought you were you were tricked on one well i was he doesn't understand what anthropology is yeah he got it confused with history which is fine sure i did end up getting it even though i didn't really deserve it my take on that was you extra deserve of it because it's actually not your skill set. Not only that, I didn't even give a great example to him when I was explaining why that wasn't anthropology.

1:57:21He's like, but isn't it the study of man? I go, yeah, it's the study of man, but mostly the evolution to, you know, but really I was like, it's the study of man before we wrote and had written records of man. We don't need to, we don't need to do detective work. Historians tell us what happened in those periods through the written record. Yeah. It's pre-written record that we're trying to figure out. Ouch. Obviously, it's not bothering me anymore. Clearly. Okay. The Moon River Fletch reference. 1995 movie Fletch, Chevy Chase. Not 1995. Oh, my God. 1985. My eyes. Oopsies. Crooms the song Moon River while undergoing a humiliating invasive rectal examination by a doctor.

1:58:06Yeah. And there's a video. Play it. Drop your shorts and bend over, Mr. Babar. There we go. Oh, no, really, we don't need to. We don't want to do that. So, you know, my kidneys feel a lot better in this position. Maybe it's just that I'm not doing any calisthenics. You know, if I did some sit-ups in the morning or bent over like this, I'd probably feel 100 % better.

1:58:30Thank you, Doc. You ever serve time? Breathe easy. Breathe easy. Oh, wow. There's more? I was able to get that policy. I know there's a history of cancer in the family. There is? Yeah. As a matter of fact, are you using the whole fist talk? Just relax. Okay, that's enough. Oh. That's funny. Yeah. I've never seen that movie. You haven't? Well, I'm going to show it to Lincoln if you want to join. Okay. You know, it's in a three-way tie with my top comedies. I know you love it. What year did Chevy Chase's talk show start and how long did it run? 1993 on Fox. It was canceled after six weeks, 29 episodes.

1:59:09His deal was supposedly$3 million. It was the first late night talk show on Fox since the late show hosted by Joan Rivers in 98, then Arsenio Hall and Ross Schaefer. And it was the last until 2006. Talk show with Spike Ferriston debuted then. It got canceled because they promised five to six million viewers nightly, but delivered fewer than two. Also, the show's audience was generally misbehaved. And the chairwoman of Fox Broadcasting said, quote, the show was uncomfortable and embarrassing to watch. Oh, boy. Ouchy. Not a great review. I didn't see it, so I don't have an opinion. Okay. SantaCon.

1:59:45Now I'm going to pull back the curtain here. Okay. We're doing some fact checks in advance. Uh-huh. Which means I didn't pull these facts. Okay. SantaCon is an annual bar crawl. I'm just confused. You'll see. Okay. SantaCon is an annual bar crawl where people dress as Santa in hundreds of cities around the world. It came to the U.S. in 96, to Portland, and in 2013, it was in 300 cities globally. 30 ,000 people participated in the New York City 2012 event. In parentheses, I, Sophia, am embarrassed to say I have participated in it. In my defense, it happened to land on my 21st birthday. Oh, how fun.

2:00:24Sophia was a part of Santa Crawl. Santa Con. Santa Con. Yes, she was. I wonder what the arrest rate is. It might be the highest per capita of any distinguished group. Can you imagine seeing all these drunk Santas? peeing in their Santa pants and stuff. Do you think Sophia was wearing a Santa costume? Yes, I do. Wow. Or an elf. Or Mrs. Claus. You probably got to go with Santa. Yeah. It's not Elf Con. Right. It's not. It's not Mrs. Claus. We didn't even give her a first, although he doesn't have a first name, so. Santa. That's his last name. No, Claus is his last name. Oh, never mind. So sorry. So sorry.

2:01:00Yes. I stand corrected. Well. But does she have a name? Saint Claus. I mean. Yeah, Saint Claus. But Santa Claus. And then she doesn't have one. Mrs. Claus. Her first name is Mrs. Yeah. What is the Dakota Johnson, Tilda Swinton movie Luca directed? There are two. They're both in two. Oh, my goodness. A Bigger Splash, which was in 2015, and Suspiria in 2018. Have you seen either? No, but I did want to see Suspiria because they're like dancers. I think it's scary. Tom York did the soundtrack for Suspiria. Oh, cool. You know who that is? Yeah. Oh. He's a big musician. Oh, my God. Wait, who is it? Radiohead.

2:01:48Singer of Radiohead. Did you say Tom Yorn? York. Tom York. Oh, okay. York, yeah. I knew it was a lead singer of a big band because Rob said that before. Great. I like his independent stuff even more than Radiohead. Oh, wow. Yeah. What was the... Okay. What was the band that did Stereophonic? Oh, it was Will Butler, who was in Arcade Fire. Arcade Fire. Okay. Because ding, ding, ding, Sarah Pidgeon, who plays Carolyn Bessette Kennedy in Love Story, was in Stereophonic. Oh, wow. Multi-hyphenate. Yep. What is the Ryan Murphy with two? Ryan Murphy, ding, ding, ding. Didn't even mean to. Oh, my gosh.

2:02:33With two Coopers in it. She couldn't find a movie with two Coopers in it. The Menendez story has Cooper Cock and Eric Menendez. All right. Because there's two Coopers in his, in Ike's movie. Yeah. For sure. Running point, there's two actors named Cooper. Oh. I think, and I said, you got two Coopers. That's pretty rare. Oh, and he said, he said it also. But Bradley Cooper was in Ryan Murphy. He was in Nip Tuck. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Early days. Now, I think you don't be mad at me because I didn't check this fact. OK. OK. The fact is, did the government go to Lamborghini and ask them to make the tractors?

2:03:13Was it Ducati? Well, not tractors, military equipment. They were a tractor company that got asked to make military equipment. OK, I'm just going to read what this says. OK, you're right. OK. No. Lamborghini Trattori is an agricultural machinery manufacturer founded in 1948. Lamborghini was founded in 1963 after Ferrucci Lamborghini had a fight with Enzo Ferrari about the faulty clutch in his Ferrari 250 GT. Maybe what Dax is talking about. Following World War II, the Italian government took control of Ducati and shifted them into motorcycle manufacturing, starting with the Cucciolo moped. That's what I'm thinking of.

2:03:51Great! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. I love it when Sophia does the facts. Yeah, it's great. You can't get even mad at me. Yeah. Okay. Fun facts about capybaras. Biggest rodent in the world. Ugh. 150 pounds. Yep. Four feet long, two feet tall. Four feet long. That's disgusting. That's your height. Well, no. It's more heavier than you. It's bigger than you. It is. It is heavier. It's a rodent bigger than you. Ew. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Found primarily in Brazil, Venezuela, Colombia, Argentina. Lives in rivers, lakes, marshes, flooded grassland. And so they're great swimmers, not like me. They practice coprophagy.

2:04:31Oh, eating their own poop. Oh, that's standard. They can live in groups of up to 100. In some places, you can have them as a pet. Maybe I'll get one in Nashville, roaming around the yard. Sophia added a little tell Kaylee Cuoco. Oh, smart, smart. Oh, wow. It says, supposedly there was something called a Josefortigagia monster, an extinct rodent species that may have weighed over a thousand pounds. Oh, yes. Ding, ding, ding. Wow. Probably right after Pangea. Probably in the megafauna era of the Pleistocene when we had giant sloths and moly mammoths. Probably. Was the caning of Michael Fay in Singapore because of chewing gum?

2:05:17Oh, you're right. No. Oh, American student teenager Michael Fay did violate the Vandalism Act, but not with chewing gum. He was arrested for stealing road signs and vandalizing 18 cars over a 10 day period in September 1993. He pled guilty, but later rescinded his plea to the vandalizing, but not the road sides to avoid caning. His sentence was reduced from six to four canes can strikes. Cane strikes. She forgot an E. And it was carried out in 1994. He also was sentenced to four months in jail and a fine of$3 ,500 at the time equivalent to$2 ,230. The student who pleaded not guilty was sentenced to eight months in prison and 12 strokes.

2:05:59Interestingly, many months after returning to the U.S., he suffered burns to his hands and face after a butane incident and cited butane abuse in his rehabilitation program. He says that snuffing butane made him forget what happened in Singapore. Ooh. In 1992, Singapore did ban the sale, import, and manufacture of chewing gum to reduce vandalism and litter. Chewing gum is not legal in Singapore, but selling or importing can lead to fines in the thousands. Still true today. Oh, I'm so sorry. Chewing gum is not illegal in Singapore. Oh, it's not. But selling or importing can lead to fines in the thousands.

2:06:34Still true today. Okay. So you can't get it. You can't buy it. Yeah. So it's - So it's virtually non-exit. It's banned, but not illegal. It's like tobacco, Easter egg for something else, like another episode. Yeah. But I'm really glad my mother and I were still outlaws and smuggled gum in and shoot it. I'm happy. Also, you present me with jail time versus caning. Cane away. Oh, yeah. Right? I agree. Yeah. Let's get caning. But I don't want any of it. No. I just want to be clear. But I prefer it to incarceration. If I have to pick. Yeah. That's it. Great job, Sophia, on the facts. Love it. Appreciate it.

2:07:09She always does me with me. And we love Ike Barinholtz. Yeah, we sure do. We continue to love him. And he'll be back. He'll always be back. We can count on it. All right. All right. Love you.