Mark Ronson Returns

23:15Only thing you can compare it to would be like the thing on an Uzi, like the sight thing. We're shining it on the street and there's a guy walking the dog. The guy can't see the thing and the dog's just like, like freaking out. It's terrible. Everything about it, I would never do that now. Yeah, that was what he wanted to do. And in an absurd foreshadowing of who has to become, I was just like, this fun and games is great. Michael, give us a bass line. I want to go back and like make a demo. My stepdad had a studio where I made demos. And I remember Michael actually did this thing. Of course, I'll never forget it.

23:46It was so Michael. He like did the arm out, snapped, and he started to sing this bass line that went, do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do. And I was like, okay, it's a little ripped off from Smooth Criminal, but we'll take it. And made a whole fucking song from this baseline that Michael Jackson gave us. This is shocking. Yeah, right? This is a shocking way to go up. Yeah, you could have never done anything and still written this book and I would have read it. I'm impressed that you were able to keep these things to yourself when you went to school. Most people learn that the hard way.

24:17Right. I'm going to attempt to frame this whole thing, or at least what I extrapolated from it, It was like, oh, yeah, people who seek control for comfort really desperately find these outlets of control. I found one. You found one. You found one. The very first time you experienced it, though, was at the wedding of your mom and Mick. Yeah. My mom and Mick got married when I was 10. And they had this pretty mellow wedding. I think there was like 40 people in the garden in this house that they were renting. There was no band. There was nothing. There was just music playing through some big speakers.

24:50And back then, there were like these giant double cassette deck. With auto reverse. That's how you would keep the music on the whole time. And the music just kind of stopped out of nowhere. And Mick looked at me and was like, Mark, go put something on. I was so excited. Obviously felt this grand responsibility. Like ran in the house and I loved fucking anything that had to do with equipment and playing something, electronic equipment, cueing a song. And I was looking through all these tapes on the floor, kind of in this mad rush. And I saw these things that were not appropriate. And then I just saw Eric Clapton, Time Pieces, The Greatest Hits.

25:20And I thought, ah, wonderful tonight. that seems like a great song for now like even at 10 in my like little mind of understanding what love and a wedding is supposed to be my mom loves that song and that's a great song for her so I quickly threw it in, hit play and then I was just in the house and I could see through the windows and I remember hearing the beginning of the song and just having this kind of rush like whoa music is playing outside and everybody has to listen to the song that I picked and now it's making this moment Mick grabbed my mom and kind of brought in for this like little slow dance.

25:52It is one of my earliest, more formative things. It's the first time I ever remember it being like, I did something right. I could maybe be good at this. I like that. I did something right. Of course, when you start to write these books and you're on earth, these memories, then you suddenly realize, oh, that's fucking how it started. But again, this is like when Bill Gates was living next to the computer, the first computer. It's the same thing. You have this instinct. Thank you for comparing me to Bill Gates. Yes, you are welcome. Well, it's talent matched with proximity. Living next door to Gershwin.

26:20Yes. Like he had a horrible home life. His mom treated him like she wished she would never have been born. But his neighbor was Gershwin. That's where he would go over a lot of the time and would kind of Gershwin a Hammerstein. There are these beautiful happenstances. It's amazing. So you start messing with the stuff. And thank God, again, we had much different stepdads. He was like, yeah, do whatever you want. So it's a little playground for you. And you learn how to do that stuff. Yeah. $200 ,000 fucking synthesizer. He had a$200 ,000 synthesizer called the Synclavier, which they made Owner of a Lonely Heart on.

26:51All these crazy records from that era. And I kind of just figured it out how to recreate. Terrence Trent Darby, Wishing Well, was the song I was obsessed with. And I was like, I can figure out if I do the drums first, kick in the snare, and I found that do-do-do-do-do sound, and I'm going to make that. And I remember being so proud of it and bringing in one of my mom's friends at one of those parties, like one in the morning, being like, come in, listen to this thing that I made and just hitting play and someone being like, yeah, kid, it's wishing well. But no, I did it. I did it. Learning how to use this equipment, also drawn to the solitude of it.

27:26I'm alone in here. Nobody can fuck with me. And then as I got more into hip hop, as a teenager, there were three rappers in my school. And I said, come over, I'll make you a beat. Because my stepdad had an early proto sampler that a tribe called Quest and Gangstar used. I'm sure he had taken out of the box and barely touched it once. But I kind of taught myself how to use it and made this beat for my friends. So, yes, he was very, very amazing about encouraging and fostering my thing. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

28:09One other party story, because there's something interesting within this party story, I think. So I didn't even know this, but I kind of deduced that Andy Warhol had extensive diaries. Yes. You found a diary entry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I maybe knew that he'd come over, but the Andy Warhol diaries came out and he'd just kind of extensively diary, even to the most mundane things of his life, like everything he ever did. And there was like page 637. I remember I would go into Barnes & Noble with friends like, you guys want to see something cool? I'd reach for the top shelf and bring this heaviest brick of a book down and flip to the page.

28:43I'm not going to do Andy Warhol's voice. I was like, went to a party at Ann Jones' house. She lived uptown. It actually says Ann Ronson. It says Ann Ronson. That's right. That's what I'm most interested in. Right, right. He didn't say I'm going to Mick Jones' house. No, I think because he probably had more friends in common with my mom and she was kind of like this glittery rock and roll socialite. So that was the connection. Well, it says a few things. It's like he was obsessed with whatever you'd call those girls. Scenesters. Yes, yes. Right? Forget the foreigner guitarist. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

29:13And then it was also telling that your mother had her own persona and identity in the city. Definitely. And then he says there was no food there, only something called chicken sushi. And in my mind, I'm like, chicken sushi just sounds like salmonell. Like, that's just literally raw chicken. That's not a thing. I had it for the first time three weeks ago in Nashville. But it was cooked Nashville hot chicken inside a sushi and it was all cooked. Okay. I doubt anyone was selling salmonella sushi. So I did a record with this group called the Black Lips. You know, this group from Atlanta. There is just amazing kind of punk rock kids who make great music.

29:47They are as nihilistic with their stage behavior as they are with their intestines. And they once took me out to eat something called liver sushi, which nearly killed me. Because that was just rolled over. Were they idolizing the liver king or something? This was before the liver king. Okay, pre-Liver King. But I enjoyed that time. But we'll fast forward a little bit. You know, you start playing guitar. You're friends with Sean. There's another guy in the mix whose dad's a restaurateur. Max Leroy, whose dad owned Tavern on the Green and these kind of very iconic New York restaurants. So the three of you guys had a band.

30:19That's going swimmingly. And then those two go to boarding school in Europe. You join another band. But these guys are way too good. They're informative to where you need to go next. They were great. It was so much fun to hook up with these other young kids. who liked all the same weird music that I did. And we had this band, but technically they were shredders. They were fucking great. And I was just an overachieving B-minus musician. You know, the cheesy part in the gig where everyone takes a solo. And it would get to my part and be like, someone pull the fire alarm, like anything. I don't want to do my fucking bluesy bullshit.

30:48And I just started to get a little disenchanted with it. I was like, this can't be my calling. As much as I want to be slashed, I'm not a fucking lead guitarist. And that dovetailed with me falling in love with hip hop really head over heels and being like, okay, this is what I want to be doing now. Now, this might be my favorite thing I read. Just reading the thing, I was stopping and listening to all these different songs, which was great. But my very favorite group in high school is the Brand New Heavies. Oh, wow. I love the Brand New Heavies. And nobody was liking the Brand New Heavies in high school.

31:20And what high school? In Michigan. The notion that you were that into them and you're 15 or 16, you get to go to a club and see them as wild. I snuck into this club at three in the morning. There was this thing called the New Music Cafe, which was like the equivalent of maybe South by Southwest vibes in New York in that era. And they would have shows and I would sneak in anywhere if it meant going to see a band or I would get a job at the high school paper reviewing concert so I can convince my mom like, no, no, I'm not going out. it's because I'm writing about it. But the guy who threw these great parties that brought Brand New Heavies into America and all these bands in New York the first time had a party called Giant Step.

31:55And I would bug him all the time. You should let my band play. My band had the worst name. We were called the Whole Earth Mamas. It's really the worst name I've ever heard. It's really the worst name I've ever heard. I was trying to find how it could have even been funny, but it's not even quite funny. It's not funny. It's a miss. It's not. It's a total miss. And he would be like, what's your band's name again? Mother Us Garden Bistro or whatever the fuck. I basically finagled us a gig because I'd hoard out my best friend Sean Lennon. He was like, I'm not putting on my gig. The bill's full. And I was like, what if I got my friend Sean?

32:26And he was like, Sean who? I was like, Sean Lennon. And of course, at that time, Sean was only 15. The entire world was still mourning. His dad, he was the golden prince. People were very fascinated. And I threw him under the bus. It was terrible. And then we got the gig because I said Sean would come play with us. Then I went and told Sean half of the story. I said, we got this gig. Do you want to come play with us? And he came and played. And I wrote this chapter. I had to send it to Sean. I was like, I don't know if I ever told you this story. We've been friends for 30 years since. There's no way that he would have been probably still upset at this time.

33:03But there was a lot of that in the book. Like when you have to go back to people and be like, I don't think I ever told you this. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, it was a little shady. Is it shady? He was in the band. No, he wasn't in the band. No, he wasn't in the band. He's with this new Shredder band. Yeah, yeah. No, he was the shittiest name ever. He was not in the band. And he said that, I'm not in this band, when he said, I feel weird, I'm not in. I don't even like your band. The reason it's sensitive is it's like he's probably already dealing with people who are very interested in him because of his dad.

33:35He's just lost his dad. And now my friend is trading on that. That could be hurtful. And I'm glad you admitted that. Was he like, it's fine? We're good. Absolutely. And it was much more than that. It was so lovely sharing these stories that we haven't even talked about in four years. It's like, oh, now it makes so much sense why we were friends and a family and where we came from. But the gig sucked anyway. Sean was amazing. So it was just a good lesson. Don't tell your friends. Don't get a gig that you haven't really earned on your own fucking talent. When do techniques come into the mix? How do we go from musician to DJ?

34:11Yeah. My drummer in my band was like, you got to check this song out. Leaving the gig that sucked. It was Pete Rock and CL Smooth. They reminisce over you. And I was just like, this is incredible. I knew hip hop because I knew the BC Boys and Run DMC and L Cool Jam, whatever was on TV. But I'd never heard this underground type of shit. And I was like, this is all I want to be about from now on. And I didn't know how to rap or make beats. So I was like DJing. That's the only way I can see myself into this thing where I can just be part of this music I'm obsessed with. There was an all-ages rave party in New York at the time called NASA.

34:43And there was a side room, which was so crazy to think that there was a time pre-Giuliani in New York where a thousand kids from the ages of 13 to 17 could go and take so many drugs and stay up till 7 in the morning. Like Lord of the Flies style. And that was allowed. They played mostly techno, but there was a side room where I saw this DJ named Ani, like Ani, who murdered this hip-hop set. And I just remember watching him transfix because I'd only heard people do it on the radio, but I hadn't seen how the hands and what it was doing. Then I just became obsessed. And four months later for graduation, I hounded my mom and she got me turntables.

35:22Are you doing drugs during this time? Yeah, yeah. What kind of drugs are we doing? I was like a really, really good boy because there was something so polite and meticulously overmanaged in my brain that I would like never fully let go. But then I think I discovered acid, I was like 15. I liked acid and things like that through high school. And then later discovered cocaine, like 19, 20. But the raves that we're going to was ecstasy and acid. The whole time I'm reading it, I'm an addict, right? So I'm like, oh yeah, I would have loved to have been there. You would have died. Also, I would have died.

35:55The times I almost died were always trips to New York City after I was on TV. If you'd like, you don't ever have to stop. I had the more dangerous thing, arguably, where I never nearly died. but it was like the frog in the slowly boiling pot of water. And then I had a lot of hangups and neuroses. But the drug thing was very strange for me because I did drugs sort of in my 18, 19s, 20s. Coke at that age, it was just kind of like a new thing. It's like that scene in Basketball Diaries when Leo does it the first time. He's like, whoa, I can stay up all night riding and this is fun. What hangover?

36:27My cells regenerate like nothing. Yeah, totally. And then 23, 24, I started to cue these intense anxiety attacks. And I think it was probably hangups of reliving my parents' life, having seen what it had done to that household. And there was a weird thing where I was definitely getting as obliterated as possible to somehow push aside all my neuroses and things so I could just forget about that. But then weirdly, the neuroses would never fully go away because they would come back to then give me the panic attack that would happen after I did it. So it even got to the point where one night I remember doing drugs with friends and having like the instant panic attack.

37:05Like I would be in the corner of the club like, I'm not sure I'm all right. Can you just keep an eye on me? I talk about my friend Simon Rex at the time who we were going out together a lot, take me home from the club, sit by my bedside till I fell asleep. One of those nights happened. And the next day I found out that we had bought fucking talcum powder. Oh, my God. No. It was so psychosomatic at some point that I was like, wow, something else is being pushed up. Now, did I stop? No. Like, you know, it took me another 15 years. Yeah, you're going to push on. But yeah, I had this weird thing. I could never get fucked up before I DJ because I wanted to be fucking great.

37:42And I wanted to be on point. I probably drink a shitload. But then as soon as it was done, 3.30, like literally is the last record on maybe texting the dealer or finding out where the after party is. Then I just wanted to fucking go and lose my mind. Yeah. Tom Arnold said it most beautifully and honestly in his autobiography I read, which was, luckily I was more addicted to becoming famous than I was Coke. Because there's no way anything would have ever been stronger than Coke. If not, I was way more addicted to trying to be famous. Yeah. Which can mean just successful. Yeah. Do you ever look at your kids now and think, look where I am now.

38:15You've lived all these lives and now you're here with these little sweet people. Yeah. We got away with martyrs, what I would call it. Yeah. I didn't set out to write, to excavate those parts of my life necessarily. And then halfway through the book, I was like, this book is going to be a little disingenuous if I call it night people and talk about the crack people go out at night and don't talk about my demons and these things. And I think it'll be maybe a better book for it, for being more personal. My wife, at some point reading it, she didn't say it in the kind of way that she was judging.

38:43She just was being really honest and open. She's like, it's funny you had to write this really personal book. Like, what do you think it was? And I was like, I don't know. a lot of the characters in it are no longer with us. There's this idea of celebrating not only an era that's gone, but people that are gone. And then the epilogue is the only thing that takes place in the present day where I'm walking around New York with my daughter strapped to me and the baby Bjorn seeing the clubs that used to be in weird ghosts of the past. And yeah, of course, I'm thinking like, God, should I even put my daughter in it?

39:11Is she going to read this? Is it either just going to be something like embarrassing that my fucking dad wrote when I was two? Or is it going to be something that's like too expositional? or is going to give her license to be like, you were doing this, dad. You know, like what fucking Pandora's box I've opened, I don't know. But you have to do it for these reasons that you don't really know at the time. So I journal every day and I'm dead honest and I fully intend for them to receive all those when I die. I only want for them to know the whole me. How old are they? They are currently 10 and 12.

39:40I just want to be honest with them. I don't know how having had that and then also keeping that from them is somehow a win. I can't find my way to how that's logical. Like I'm going to present a fraudulent version of myself to the person I love the most on this planet. The two people. That feels broken and premise. Yeah, no, totally. And I don't really mind. Listen, if the worst repercussion is ever, if she fucking breaks curfew one time, I say, Dad, you're fucking doing it acid at limelight when you're 15. That's also fine. How long does it take you to get proficient? I was so ambitious. I was definitely practicing all the time, but I got a big lucky break because my dad lost all his money to like a shitty business manager.

40:21We move uptown to this rental apartment. But listen, it's still a nice fucking rental apartment. We live in the same building with Peter Gation, the club king of New York at that time. He had Limelight, Club USA, Tunnel, Palladium. Both of his daughters are friends of mine, but at the time, Amanda, we had mutual friends. And she was like, my dad's going to give me Club USA on a Thursday, which was the coolest fucking club. It was like in Midtown. It had this three-story water slide that went through the middle. Oh, wow. It was just like the most fucking celeb-y meets depraved. All the other clubs had their own kind of depravity, but this was right in the middle of the theater district.

40:54So it was this unholy love child of Broadway camp and total Times Square sleaze. Yeah. Very cool. And we needed to do two seconds on what Broadway looked like then. Yeah. Because I'll tell people, I used to go to that city with my mom on a three-day trip with my brother and my little sister. It was fucking terrifying. No, you were staying at the Milford Plaza. You were right in the center of it all. Like there was no fucking M &M story. Your mom was like grabbing your hands tight. I mean, like in here, kids. We all held hands very tightly. There are lots of pimps and hookers. There's lots of drugs.

41:24It was fucked. And it was also amazing. And I got this gig playing there. And, you know, I probably wasn't primetime ready yet, but I was good enough. I knew how to read a room. And then I went away to Vassar College for a year, which was my 10 ,000 hours, I was just playing the campus bars, every fucking TA party, house party, doing the radio station. When I came back, I moved up several levels. But my ambition always probably outstripped my ready ability to be on those stages for the first couple of years, for sure. Well, you've already demonstrated you have great ambition. When you ask Michael Jackson for a beat, he's a very ambitious person.

42:01When you get yourself on a show you do not deserve to be on, that's ambition. Yeah. It's funny because you look back on these things with embarrassment, but then there's also this thing where you also have to have, you have to be delusional. I don't know how to make the scale right, but it's like I'm embarrassed by the delusion and I needed it. Yeah. Thank God I kind of was like this brash, ballsy kid. I wasn't brash in the way that I was conceited, but I would have that demo in my back pocket. Any promoter like, hey, put me on. Yeah. And then I think three years into it, then I was good and I was very knowledgeable of like all the old funk and soul that the hip hop samples came from.

42:34and I play that and parties. People are really coming to see me for that as well. My real breakthrough moment was I played ACDC in a fucking hip-hop club where nobody ever did that and then changed everything in that scene in New York at that time. No kidding. There was a party called Cheetah on a Monday night. It was like Missy Elliott, Janet Jackson. Let's not skirt around it. Puff, Jay-Z, Biggie, everybody went there. And I played there one Monday and I remember at the time there was this very trendy nightclub in New York called Spy. Spy Bar was the most trendy. It was this guy, King at the door.

43:07Leo, Titanic had just come out. Anywhere that he went was now the spot. Mariah Carey, Donald Trump getting turned away at the door. I'm sure he got in sometimes as well. This was this wild scene. I would only get in half of the time. Because I'm still this gangly kid. It's sort of getting a little known on the scene. This is so fun. So the DJs there were not very good. But they played insane rock and roll and very loud. And I was in there one night. and they played ACDC Back in Black. What a song. And it tore the fucking house down. Also because, yes, I'm a privileged kid from the Upper West Side, but most of the clubs I was DJing for were much more mixed.

43:42And watching all these drunk white people probably go to the gills going crazy to ACDC Back in Black, I was like, this is an incredible song. Why have I not thought of this? So the seed is planted. I'm like, I wonder if I could play a situation on a Monday night that turns into like, I have to play it. But also I could fully get a bottle of champagne thrown at my head. This was a place they didn't play if you played some shit that didn't go down. And also, I'm only making my way coming up in this scene. I don't really have the status to jeopardize it all on one night. I've got to have a bad night and you're kind of back down to the bottom of the ladder.

44:16So I worked out this mix all week that was going to be this perfect way that the Benjamins, this song by Biggie and Puff was the biggest song at the time. There was a very cheesy rock and roll remix that had just come out where I was like, okay, on the Biggie verse, I'm going to switch to the fucking rock remix and don't really stop dancing because it's still Biggie even though it's got these cheesy metal guitars. And right when Biggie stops his verse, squeeze off till I'm empty, all about the Benji's dance. Dance. Dance. Right? The greatest riff in the history of rock and roll. The club there was a split second, like fucking in the movie with Sloman.

44:49Everyone's like, huh? And then the thing that I learned is if you keep the rhythm on beat, you can play the most wild shit, but people don't have time to stop dancing. They don't have a time to think like, should I be dancing? It's like, if it's good, they're just going with it. So there was this split second, what the fuck is happening? And then just everyone surrendered. And it was this wonderful moment in this club. And from that moment, you know, I'd been copying all these DJs that I had hero worship, Stretch Armstrong, Clark Kent, all these other people, but doing exactly what they had done, just a slightly different version of it.

45:18This was suddenly my own new thing. And then I started playing ACC and Led Zeppelin and Jane's Addiction and everything else. And that became like, oh, he's the guy that mixes rock with all this shit. You have an identity now. Everything that I do that nobody else does. And while AM was kind of also coincidentally carving that out on the West Coast, but we didn't really know so much about each other at that time. Then we became great friends. And so that was it. And then suddenly I'd be playing at these clubs and it'd be like Method Man and Little Kim. I'm playing Joan Jett. It's Method Man swinging his shirt over his head.

45:50And those things sound so kind of like don't bat an eyelid now because that's what it became, open format. but at the time it was kind of remarkable talk about feeling powerful and if you can have your idols in the club like if you have people who you admire and you respect and you're taking them for a ride yeah oh the validation no that was crazy too and at this club life that I played in the late 90s this shitty ass fucking DJ booth it was basically like a mobile bar mitzvah DJ set up that was the other thing that was just like the underlying thing in the book like you'd be in the fanciest clubs around the fanciest people ever and you would literally be playing on a plastic table from Kmart because you'd be playing in these side rooms.

46:26The big main room DJs were really fancy, but they were playing house and techno, whatever they were doing. But watching Jay-Z, Toastin, he has every big song in New York at the time and you're playing these rooms and your heroes are in front of you. Yes. Oh, wow. I would imagine too, what people might not know about the DJ life is that it's a perfect addiction to avoid neuroses because you don't just have the nighttime. In the daytime now, you're rabidly combing through every single collection of vinyl you can find, right? All day long, you have this one activity that's just so consuming and it's dopamine.

47:05It's like, this song, this song sucks. Boo, new album. You can hide beautifully in this new pursuit. Yeah, and back then as well, if you wanted like the cool new records, you had to literally go up to every record label and grovel for these promos. And you could spend two days of the week just going to a lecture. and then Atlantic. And now it's ridiculous because, you know, you can get everything with a click of a mouse. But you would go up there like fucking Oliver. Excuse me, sir. Can I have some more? Like with your little flyers and they'd be like, why should I give you this record? Well, I do this on Tuesday, this on Thursday.

47:35If they were lucky, you get one record. If they really liked you, they give you two copies of that record. Are you so happy you came up then instead of now? I'm so grateful for coming up in that era. And I tried so hard to fight, though, like it was better then. But yes, coming up in this era where you had to really hunt down your shit, I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for everything that it taught me about music and what then became my tool bed as a producer. I'm grateful for how difficult and the hustle. Well, yeah, just talk about the records. You're four nights a week. You've got to get how many milk crates of records?

48:12There's about three or four. So they each have 80 records in and they each weigh about 60 pounds. I had friends to do it. You know, I thought I could do it by myself like last week because I had a gig in New York and I was like, I'll just bring a crate and a bag. And my back was just so fucked up. Going down to this basement club and then back up at the end trying to maneuver through like 500 people. I haven't had back problems like that in a long time. It was nothing to do it back then. Yeah, and how are you getting from your apartment to these shows? Are you taking a cab with all your records?

48:42Back then, obviously, God, this all sounds like that in my day. Before Uber and that shit and you lived on a funny block where maybe cabs didn't go by, there was this one Spanish car service called Delancey. Would you used to call that a gypsy cab? You would call it a gypsy cab. Yeah, you would call it. Then it was a gypsy cab. And then you were sort of up to their mercy of like, they would say seven minutes, but you don't know if it's 13 minutes and you're calling these things and like, you would have to pronounce it more like with a Spanish accent. So they would understand because there was a street called Troutman that I have to go to in Brooklyn and they only understood it as Troutman.

49:16You have to make sure the car was not coming. Sometimes you have three gigs a night and you'll be like calling the car service like on the way out. It was fucking amazing, though. I do really love it. Yeah. Now, we're blessed that there were no cameras back there. That's another thing is like the anonymity that existed. I'm nostalgic for. And yet also I'm heartbroken that there's no video of you the first time you played ACDC. I also want to see that moment. At the end of the book, I'm walking with my daughter and we do see some old club because that just always happens. I'm like, what was this place?

49:48She's older, but this time she was 18 months in the baby beyond. And she's happy as long as I'm fucking talking to her the whole time. She doesn't care what the fuck I'm saying. I'm like, this is a club and this is a dada played music. And she's like, dada, music. And I'm thinking like, oh, she'll never see me do that thing when I was at my best. Because of the absence of surveillance is like how I coined it. And it's sad because you want to have these videos because it is fun to look at it, but it made everyone a lot more maybe present at the time as well. Yes. Definitely. You've also done enough shit.

50:18Yeah, exactly. They can hear the music you've made. Yeah, and there's music videos and whatever else. But right now I'm trying to see, like, is there enough to make a fun little doc to put out around when the book is there? But there is so little. There's footage from, like, the big rave scenes in the super clubs. But the cool shit about our scene in this thing is it was just all being discovered. Like we did have Jay-Z and Wesley Snipes and Leo in the club, but it was still at this little place. You really had to know to go to this place. Yes, yes. I imagine there's a ton of heartbreak throughout that period, though, too.

50:49It's fun and it's fast and it's glamorous, but people are going down. People are going down, especially since then. Like, yes, of course, there were people that I worshipped from afar and that were at the club. Biggie, who I didn't have a personal relationship. But of course, his death left an outsized loss on our whole scene. And I decided to write this book, actually, because one of my best friends from that era, this DJ named Blue Jams, he passed away in 2018 from cancer. And somebody had asked me to DJ a party that was going to be a posthumous celebration of his life one night. And I started to think about all these memories and sitting among all my old records.

51:26Fuck, I should start getting these memories down before they were really gone forever. but honestly while I was writing the book there'd be like a chapter I'm gonna call that guy I'm gonna call DJ Neva next month because we're gonna write the chapter about that and I wanna ask him and he passed away before there were four or five people that I was literally about to call the next month there's something very strange for a scene that's not rife with maybe heroin and things you associate with people dying before they should the lifestyle is not a healthy lifestyle I was obviously had advantages going into it and then coming out I've obviously done fine but reconnecting because I interviewed and called 150, maybe 200 people for this book because I really wanted to paint the scene.

52:07And remember anecdotes and trigger memories. Some people's lives have been shitty since then, or maybe not since then, but the last five or 10 years. And you don't want to just be like, yeah, I'm great. Any fun memories of us? Do you have survivor's guilt? And I don't even mean literal like life or death. Yeah. I feel like there's some guilt associated with succeeding when you're in tiny groups of people that are all trying. I do, and you want to tell that person you care and you are engaged with what they're doing in their life, and then half an hour later you're talking about old memories and stuff.

52:37DJs are not quite like comics, but I have a whole chapter towards the end because we started to hang out at the cellar a lot because just like it was a golden age for nightclubbing in New York, the cellar was Attell and Chappelle and Jeff Ross was starting and Godfrey and Artie Fuqua and Patrice Neal. There was this thing happening there. Most musicians are frustrated. Athletes are comedians anyway. We love going to their sets and then they would come out to our shit. But there's so many similarities between comedians and DJs. I mean, there's the most obvious thing. DJs call it rhythm. You guys call it timing.

53:12And the difference between bombing and fucking killing is a hair's breadth of precision. And then we play clubs. Do you think a civilian would know when you're bombing or not? Do you think some of it's in your head? No, I think there's times. Some of it's in my head. I could be doing what maybe to the room looks like a seven and a half and an eight, and no one's going to go ahead for the exits. But I just hate that I'm not at a nine and a half. I'm like, why are they not here? But those kind of neuroses going home, and you don't think about all the people that were laughing. I don't think about all the people that had their hands in the air.

53:43I'm just thinking about that one person with the arms crossed in the middle who was just like, really? Fucking Sylvester? So all my DJ friends, of course, there wasn't one personality type, But we were kind of intense, neurotic, very craft, obsessed about what we did. Living your head a lot. Yeah, not to circle back to neurodivergent, but there might be some element of that. Yeah, and I think that's the other thing that we kind of felt a link to in our friends that were comics. There was like this thing. Yeah. So I wanted to talk about some of those things. I read so many fucking memoirs while I was writing this.

54:18And more famous DJs than me have written memoirs. And I've weirdly written about this period of my life almost when I was my least famous. But I don't know if anyone's written about that dichotomy of intense validation, ego, and the energy of bringing this room up. And then just at the end of the night, you're the only person in this room. And the highs and lows of that. You're constantly putting on a party that you're not participating in, which is interesting. Which I liked because I was never fully comfortable in the parties. It was your way to be at a party. Yes, I would go into the club and I would feel like occasionally a fish out of water when I had someone else's DJing and instantly I'd be like, much prefer it back there.

54:57Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

55:09So there's these different occupations where it breeds competition and others that kind of breed community So weirdly, sketch and improv comedians are very communal because it's all shared. You cannot win on your own. And the comedians, when I did stand up, the green room at a fucking comedy club is rough. Everyone's shooting daggers. They enjoy it. I came from sketch, so I never liked that part. Shooting daggers and everyone's just busting each other's balls in. Yes, just going for each other, trying to shine, trying to dominate. Very competitive. Yeah, very competitive. And then what I've liked learning is showrunners of television shows because it's such an impossible job.

55:45It is the very hardest job in show business. Those people get along so well, all of them. Even if someone's show running a comedy versus someone's show running some major drama or a sci-fi thing. The job is so specific. They understand each other so well. And I do wonder, DJs, where do you put them on that spectrum? There was probably a mix. There was definitely a really strong community amongst the DJs. I had all my best friends from school and high school and college. And it started to be like, oh, wait, but they don't wake up at two in the afternoon. and like their idea of a perfect day isn't going through like a flea market combing for dusty breaks.

56:17And also DJs have this weird, intense know-it-all-ness to them because your whole life is knowing what fucking weird ass jazz song Fat Joe sample for this. But it's kind of the good know-it-all in that way. The kind of know-it-all that could tell you where they still get a Chinese meal at 4 a.m. in New York City or de-scramble the porn channels on a Time Warner box. That's what all my friends somehow knew how to do. I like them. And nobody thought about tomorrow. Nobody really had bank account. Everybody sort of had cash stashed in a shoebox somewhere. Maybe it was like under the mixer. You're getting paid in cash.

56:51So you always go to bed thinking, I'll wake up and tomorrow's a new day. But what the fuck is tomorrow when you go to bed at 5 a.m. every day? It's already tomorrow. Just tonight's coming. Just tonight. It's like Groundhog's Day, but with like Method Man and Debbie Mazur instead of Annie McDowell and Bill Murray. We were all drawn to each other because we saw these same things. But then we also had our share of competition and hatering and that kind of thing, too. Who were you jealous of? Not that jealous in the beginning because I was the dude coming up that some people were a little bit irked by my slipstream.

57:21With AM, I wasn't jealous because his skills were just on such another level that it would be like being like, I'm jealous of Eddie Van Halen. It's like, come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I remember being shook by seeing his talent because we were both at about the same talent level. And then AM got sober and spent about a year in his room practicing to old DMC videos and doing all this DJ competition shit. And I came there and I saw him do this thing. And I was like, oh, my reign at the top is looking a little shaky. But also, I loved him. And I was so excited to watch. I was like, come to New York.

57:59You got to do this shit. People are going to be blown away. and we would steal each other's mixes. And we were such good friends. I wasn't truly going to be jealous or competitive. Do you think you were liberated from chasing money by your childhood? Because I think the station you had reached as a DJ and increasingly so became this insanely lucrative thing. I would have just stayed there because it was such an incredible source of income. But that probably wasn't all that appealing to you? I guess so. You know, I definitely came from money. I was never going to have to worry about living out on the street.

58:29but also it wasn't wild money where my rent was paid. There was a safety net. But at that time, I was just doing this thing that I love so much at this young age where you just have the blinders on and you're not really thinking about tomorrow. The money started to get good towards the end of the 90s, but it wasn't crazy money. It wasn't the money like what AM was making. You basically left that to pursue something else at a moment that you could have really hunkered down on that and just generated a ton of money, basically. And I see DJing as this really beautiful footnote in something that then obviously became more.

59:05But I always wanted to make music. And then I got this sidetrack from this passion of hip-hop that took me to DJing. And then it fully took over my life for five or six years because I realized I was good at it and I loved doing it. And then I somehow found my way back to making music, weirdly, through DJing. And Dominic Trenier was this incredible, very cool record industry, A &R guy who managed D 'Angelo and had this artist, Nika Costa. You did a couple Nika Costa songs. I did her first album with her and her husband. But I got that gig because Dom would come to my gigs. And when I was playing ACDC and Biggie and Rufus and Chaka Khan, and he spoke with this amazing rasp, he was like, yo, I got this white chick and I don't know what an album's supposed to sound like, but it's supposed to sound like one of your DJ sets.

59:49Like, you make beats? And I just totally lied. And I was like, yeah, sure. I mean, I didn't lie. I was making beats, but nothing that had fucking moved the needle. And then he brought Nika over and she saw enough promise and he did. And was patient enough to watch me get better. And then over the course of 18 months, we made her first record. But weirdly, DJing was this side note that then became the thing that gave him my first gig. It's crazy when you reach our age, which will be 50 in five seconds. And I am. It's like, oh, I thought comedy was my thing. I'm funny. I wasn't Will Ferrell and I wasn't Vince Vaughn, but I made a living and I was good at it.

1:00:25And I was like, no, I'm actually kind of a good writer and director. That's kind of my thing. And then it's like only to come here now for the last eight years and go like, weirdly, I think really I just need to do all that stuff so I can have these conversations with all these people because I played in all these areas. It's weird to have misleading little gifts along the way. Yes. Before you kind of find this thing that's like, oh, Jesus, well, this is what I was clearly born to do. Now going back to DJing again because of this book has somehow made me want to be out there and reliving this kind of thing and having so much fun at the gigs.

1:00:55But my tinnitus, I think it probably has something to do with the way your styles regenerate. It's so much worse after these gigs and the ringing is oppressive. And I'm like, actually, DJing might be a fucking luxury because my ears are my livelihood. I want to be scoring films and writing and producing music for the rest of my life. and every gig that I go out and do, I actually feel a bit like fucking Jackson Maine, right? In Star Wars Born, where he's like, we can't get you back what you lost. We can keep what you have or whatever the fuck. His brother says to him, I'm going to these gigs now with 85 % psyched to be about to be playing and 15 % incredibly nervous.

1:01:32What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I risking? What am I risking? We'll just do a couple more so I can come. That's all I'm asking. Just risk it a little bit more. We're going to do a fun one in LA around the release of the book for sure. Oh, my God. I'm going to dance. I will not be with arms crossed. I'm going to dance your pants off. Are you plagued by people trying to let you know they know a lot about music? Even as I talk to you, it's important to me you know I was in a brand new hippies. That's fucking cool because that is a deep cut. And the brand new hippies are amazing. Yes, there was definitely this thing.

1:02:03But luckily, in a club, the music is so loud and you can just feign that you can't really hear somebody. Right. And increasingly, you can't. Yeah, and now it actually can. and people would sort of come to the booth definitely sometimes either they thought you were co-check or the bar that happened a lot oh really yeah yeah and then are you friendly with jordan rubin no i've never met jordan rubin is a really great friend of mine he's a comedian he kind of introduced me to the world of the comedy seller because he's playing at that time and he also liked djing at these gigs so he would always have these much funnier than i could think of gags for like what i should be doing if someone came up to ask for a request he's like this is what you do you just be like didn't you see the sign who took the sign people would come up and you know ask for track 12 on the 57 album like things you're like right right the birthday song oh did you see the evita is that the dj's name avici avici did you see that i didn't get to see the avici thing and i know it's quite heavy and i'm definitely going to see it people have told me i didn't know that he had all those humans i don't know anything about djs i literally know you're a DJ and your sister and then am.

1:03:10And that's probably the full extent. I don't know how I stumbled upon that doc. I just was going through Netflix and I watched it. It talks about his addiction, but I think what is the bigger addiction and the thing that I was watching and relating to and the danger in this. And I think you were saved from this a bit is when you want something so bad and they turn on the fucking light switch, it is almost impossible to not go to that show, to that show, to that show, to meet that guy. Oh, he wants to work with you. He wants to work with you. She wants to work with you. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I wanted this.

1:03:40I wanted this. That is the addiction that's completely untenable that you can completely lose yourself to. Before I kind of settled down and got my life together and I was still in my early 40s, probably just post-Optown Funk. I'd had other moments in my life, Back to Black came out that you're suddenly the guy and everyone who works with you. And you can't turn any of this down because you've been busting your ass for it so long and suddenly there's this thing. And I was DJing so much at that time. I remember reading so many articles when Avicii first passed. Of course, Demons for rock and roll people has been as old as rock and roll itself.

1:04:15But the difference between DJing is very specific. There is always a festival in the world somewhere. So you can always be touring. If it's not here, it's fucking in New Zealand and Australia. And you can fly and be playing every single night if you want to, mixed with trying to have a production career where you're going to the studio to meet with all these people. Mixed with the fact that being in planes so much actually does fuck with your brain because you're literally not a grounded person yes and your circadian rhythm is all circadian constantly i was in one of my ropeiest unmoored periods around the time when the vici thing happened too and i just remember being like i gotta get off this dj train because i've always still dj'd since that time but just in a different way the news of the vici thing that was disorienting and really a bit of a wake up it was a heartbreaking documentary, but it just made me think of like a race car that you would just leave in first gear and just pin it and wait for the motor to explode.

1:05:10That's the unavoidable end to that. It's a small group of you guys that are at that level that people who don't know the scene know your name. So when they start passing away or falling off, that's like, oh my God, our club is getting so small. That's scary. Somehow my friend Diplo, who I sometimes make music with, manages. But I look when he'll post his tour schedule on his thing and it will give me an anxiety. I'll be like, I don't know how you do that. It's very hard to say no to the thing you wanted. That's the thing one has to figure out to actually be successful, which is almost impossible to do.

1:05:46Yes. Well, Mark, you're rad. This was so fun in person. Thank you so much. It's so nice to be in person. Yes. Night People, How to Be a DJ in 90s New York City. The most useless how-to book of I doubt that. I bet some people are going to gain a lot from it. It's written so well. It has the kind of frenetic pacing that the environment you're trying to capture has. It's really, really well done. Thank you. That was really fun. Yeah, that was so much fun. Thank you. Thanks for having me back again. I mean, I guess it was three years ago, but I love this show. Hi there, this is Hermium Hermium. If you like that, you're going to love the fact check with Miss Monica.

1:06:28You have a new song and I want to hear it right away. So, no, yeah, we're going to play a game. Oh, okay. So for people who don't remember or weren't around at this time, the biggest sim moment of our lives is we were on the phone. Yeah, I was in New York. You were not in this city. Yeah. And I said, there's a song in my head. It wasn't even that. I said, what are you doing? And you were like, I'm just being weird in my apartment. And I go like, well, what does weird entail? And you're like, oh, I've been singing this song out loud like crazy. Yes. And then. I said the lyrics. I said to Xantham gum.

1:07:08The word Xantham gum. Yeah. I go, was it Xantham gum? Da, da, da, da, da, da, da. And you screamed. Yeah. You got so freaked out. And you accused me of having cameras in your apartment. Yeah. Because I had installed a TV or something. You'd hacked into my Sonos. Oh, I installed Sonos. And you like put a device in where you could, you were listening, you were observing me. Yeah, that was crazy. It was absolutely crazy. Okay, now there's, I have another song that sometimes I sing. Okay. And it's also to a tune of a song. Okay. And the lyrics are period. Oh, man. I'll tell you why I'm afraid to. Because we have 100 % average right now.

1:07:54I agree. I agree. And this is, I mean, I would say harder, but how is it harder? They're all, it's all random songs. But it does, for some reason, the saying, look a gift horse in the mouth is coming to mind. Like, it feels like looking a gift horse in the mouth. We don't have to do it. Do you know why that saying exists? Yeah, because gift horses, horses that are gifted, their teeth are pulled. and if you so if you look it in the mouth it'll run away it'll get insecure yeah no i guess um the way you inspected the horse's health back then was to lift up its lips and inspect its gums that's where you could tell if it was diseased so if you were buying a horse you would inspect it to make sure it wasn't diseased so if someone's giving you a horse don't look a gift horse in the mouth because it's going to find out it has a disease just take the gift and if it has a disease yeah okay okay so you don't want to play well just one thing came to mind there's no way it's it okay let's just obscure but period period i think i want your number period no but kind of close okay so i'm doing glory who sings that gloria gloria yeah evangel holofield Evander Holyfield?

1:09:22Evangelisa? Well, I don't know. If I did it a second time, we'd need to go to some university that studies paranormal activity. Telepathy. What's going on? Telepathy. Why don't I give you the artist? Okay. Okay. Madonna. Wow. You know what's so weird? I knew you were going to say Madonna. You did? I did. Did you? I swear to God, I almost said Madonna. Okay, so it's period and it's Madonna.

1:09:55I've got to guess. Okay, go ahead, Rob. I'm a material girl, but I'm a period girl. Period. Living in a period world. Period. In a period world. That's good. Some girls have them, some girls don't. They're called young girls. No, I just stopped at the main phrase. Okay, but I'm helping you build out the whole tune. Well, okay, that didn't go quite as planned, but that's okay. That's okay. I really did know it was Madonna. I wish I had said it out loud. I do too. Say it and I'll put it in. Okay. Wow. Evander Holyfield. Okay, one thing. Yeah. Yesterday I get a text from Kristen. Yeah. It says, this is our new landline phone.

1:10:50You program numbers in and out so you can be called or called. Smiley face. And I looked, I was like, am I being scammed? Sure. Why the fuck do you guys have a landline? Yeah, there's a great explanation. Okay. Please do tell. We were in New York to do Shaquille. There was a phone in the bathroom. Yes. They have Kristen's number memorized. Yes. And they couldn't believe they could pick up the phone and call Kristen on that thing. Yes, that I remember. You do remember that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So it was a gift to them. So we're telling, I think, Huey and Hayes. And they say, oh, we got the boys on Landline.

1:11:32And it just goes through the internet now. So you get these phones and they just work through the internet. You don't get a, you know, Pac Bell line run to your house. It's like you already have the internet and then you can get these phones. And so, yeah, we got them. And now the girls have a phone. They have it written down. I mean, it's like a whole time traveling thing. They now have a book next to the phone that's their phone book. And it has everyone's numbers in it they're allowed to call. Oh. We can also decide what numbers they can call and which numbers can call us. Oh, you can like block.

1:12:06Yeah, it's like only the numbers we've said. Oh, interesting. Which is awesome. So you get no unwanted calls. there can't be any weird predators calling right only approved numbers I was like whatever this is crazy we're getting that you know initially that was what I thought I really need this but also they're having so much fun with it and who cares and it's like virtually free because it's over the internet so here's what's amazing I was upstairs editing yesterday and one of Lincoln's friends were over and the mom was texting me to say hey I actually if it's not too big of a pain in the neck, it would be helpful if you guys walked my daughter back to school because I'm going there to pick up the other child, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, at five.

1:12:51And I'm like, right. Now, normally, I would call Kristen. She will not answer because she doesn't have her ringer on, nor do I. Can't be right. So there's really no way for me to get a hold of Kristen ever. Okay. I can text. I'll text her and then just wait. Sometimes it's hours and whatever. So I'm like, normally I would have to walk out of the studio and go into the house and ask them to walk the kid up to the school. But I was like, oh, we have a landline inside. So I called the number. It rings loud as fuck in there. Yeah, that's why people don't have them anymore. It was great. Delta's like, hello.

1:13:27They're so excited to answer it. Do they have cell phones? They do. They text me. If they're on the Wi-Fi at the house, they can text you. But the only way they would be able to call you, I think, is if they FaceTimed you. Okay. Okay. That's weird. Because why wouldn't it be? Because they don't have a cellular plan. But this is through the internet. It is, but it's its own thing that's designed specifically for this. Okay. They couldn't call. Maybe you could do like iMessage call. You couldn't call someone on a non-iPhone. You couldn't call another landline from their phone. Well, they don't need to worry about that.

1:14:09Because now they have a landline. No, because no one else has a landline. Oh, well, Huey and Hayes do. Okay. Okay. Most people don't. Yeah. Do they have the clear ones? You're upset that there's a landline? I'm not upset. I'm like, this is so, we have to. It's retro. This is so weird. Yeah, love it though. They pick up the phone and it's deet, deet, deet, deet, and they think it's so fun. They've already called their grandma. It's like already wonderful because now grandma's getting phone calls. Do they have a phone that's like clear with the, you can see the cables, the colored cables through it?

1:14:47Those are the cool ones. No, I think the more old fashioned, the better. In fact, I'd like to get us an even heavier one with a rotary dial would be the dream. Are you going to do an answering machine? Wow, that's an interesting idea. That could be fun. If you're going to have one. Outland message. This is the Shepard. You hear everyone's voice. Right. Yep. That's what it used to be. That's what it used to be. Yeah. Wow. It's pretty exciting, this old technology. We're going to get a Crankstart car next. And what else? We're going to get a diode TV, big glass tube, black and white TV. Mm-hmm. The living room.

1:15:22Antenna. Yeah, with an antenna. Wow. Well, okay. That solves that. I figured there was like a real reason, but there's not. No. No, I mean, it's not. We were existing just fine without it. But I do think it's going to really amplify the calls to grandma. The sound in your home. Yeah. I don't think anyone's going to call this number other than me or probably Kristen. Well, they're going to probably give it to their friends. We would have to approve. That's how it used to work. We would have to approve those numbers. You're not going to. Of course, you're going to approve like Freddie's number and other people's phone.

1:15:56I hope Freddie calls. I'd love to chat with him. This is why this, you know. Slippery slope is what you're saying. It's a slippery slope. My parents had to eventually give me my own. Right, because it rang off the hook. It was too much ringing. Wow, what color is it? White. It's just basic. Is it cordless? No. Right. Big cord. Right. Big twisty cord. Mine was purple. It was. My own line. I think I took mine from my dad's office and it was like Band-Aid color, you know? Oh, yeah. Totally. Yeah, with like an indestructible face that you could spill coffee on and stuff. Probably had some coffee stains on it.

1:16:39God. I wish I still had my purple one. Did you ever have a – well, you did, right? Probably when you worked at your aunt's law firm, ran an actual phone that had multiple lines and you had to connect people. I loved that. I felt like when I got to operate the one at my dad's office, it was like, oh, this is great. It's kind of one of those things, though. It's like when you're a kid and you're playing store and you want to be the cashier because then you get to practice, like, ringing up, scanning and putting it. And it sounds so fun. And then when you have that job or even now self-checkout, it's like.

1:17:13It wears off quickly. It does. Although I always like to bring this up. My cousin Kelly, every Sunday, that Sunday paper would come. She'd get it out and she'd get her 10 key out with the fucking spool of paper and just add the entire paper. Yeah, she loved that. That's one of the most unique things I've ever heard a person did. Yeah. And I witnessed it and she would blaze on that thing. That's pretty fun. She's currently the accountant of Ted Seeger's. Oh, I mean, is she an accountant? Yeah. Yeah. So that makes sense. Was she in accounting school at that time? No, we were children. She did this when she was probably 10 or 11 years old.

1:17:48She just always wanted to be an accountant. I wanted to add. Yeah. Look, we all have these things that calm us. I think that was hers, right? I think how long it takes up to add up the paper because every single sales, big, huge sales event, every car on the page she'd add up, turn the page, Fredder or Ollie, where our appliance stores, everything that's for sale there. She loved spooling through her tape and then looking at the total. Yeah. Yeah. Remember the smell of that tape? Uh-huh. I do. I like that smell. Yeah. Full of BPA. We're not allowed to have that anymore. It's not. But all kinds of not.

1:18:25Because it was putting ink onto normal paper. Now it has that chemical in there and heat makes the image arise. And yes, those are dicey. I don't. That's one of the few times I feel like a snob is like when someone tries to hand me a receipt. I'm like, I'm good. And I feel like a brat. But I don't want to touch it. And I don't even care about things. Well, it's bratty because they have to touch it. And I think about it. I'm like, God, they're handling me. If it was real, maybe they'd all be dead already. So I don't even know if it's real. They should wear gloves. They should wear a little rubber.

1:18:55I've seen people wearing thin little rubber gloves. Yeah. Speaking of they should be dead already. Yeah. Yesterday I had an incident. Okay. Okay. I got not a tonka. I got home. You had gone to get some clothes. Yes. We recorded and then I had to go get some clothes hemmed. Yeah. I went to In-N-Out. Yeah. And then I came home. So it had been a while. Oh, you went to In-N-Out. Yeah. Fuck it. It's delicious. And I got home, and I'm so tired because my period world. Your flies. Yeah, my period girl, period world. And I went and I, like, laid in my bed. Uh-huh. And all of a sudden I heard this beeping.

1:19:35But it wasn't, I knew it wasn't the smoke detector chirping. Okay. Because it sounded too far away for that. But I looked, anyway, I, like, looked at the smoke detectors. And you didn't have to wait. Yeah, I know. So annoying. I know. So then I was like, no, it's not either the smoke detector. So maybe I thought like, oh, maybe it's like the apartment above the smoke detector. So this was like happening. And after a minute, I went into the living room and it was like loud. Okay. And it was my carbon monoxide detector. That your dad insists you have. Yes. Yes. And I was like, oh, fuck. Okay. this is odd and like i went i looked at it was that it was going off and it wasn't low battery so that so i was like it's probably low battery yeah um because you didn't notice anyone has parked their car directly in front of your windows flooring it no but it could have been a leak out of something okay so i you know and like you're really not supposed to fuck around with that like if there's carbon monoxide you've got to get out you've got to get everyone out you've got to call 911.

1:20:46Like it's a whole thing. It says it on there. It does. Call 911. Yeah. Because the fire department needs to come test. This is when your landline would be very helpful. Why? There's no reason the landline would be really wishing you had a landline. So I just kind of stared at this thing for a minute and I was like, I don't know what to do. Okay. How long before I'm dead? Am I also killing other people by not like acting fast? Yeah. I went to my battery area and during the fires, I had replend all my batteries. I was so proud of myself. I was like, oh my God, so prepped. Except the D battery, which is what goes in.

1:21:29That's crazy. The thing takes a D battery. It takes a D. It can really take a D. For sure. Come find one with a fucking double A. It's like the most basic carbon dioxide. Anyway. So then I had to Instacart a battery. I was like, I think that's the best thing for me to do. I don't think I should call 911 yet. Yeah. But also, what am I doing if there is, like, you know, this is a dilemma. You're going to wait for a battery. Did you wait on your porch? No. I did then eventually because I started to feel, like, woozy, you know? So I started opening windows. Uh-huh. To let more of the carbon monoxide in.

1:22:08Just some airflow, you know? Yeah, yeah. And then I, so I Instacarted the battery. It came after an hour. I was still alive. I was still alive. So I was like, this is a good sign. I don't know how long it takes. Yeah. So I put the battery in, new battery, brand new, Duracell, trusted brand. Best in the biz. It's still going off. And then I really was like, I don't know what to do. And for someone who was constantly telling people to call 911 at the drop of a hat, What I realized is like, I'm never calling 911 ever. No, unless you're dying. Even if. Yeah. Turns out. Yeah. So I was like, maybe it's just dying.

1:22:52Like maybe the whole system itself is dying. Now you need a backup carbon monoxide. So I went to, no, I didn't, but I went to DoorDash again. And I was like, should I order another one and test that? By the, it'll be five hours I'm sitting in this carbon monoxide. You'll have age 12 years. So then what I did is I just like slammed the button hard and it stopped. And I was like, okay, this is good news. Did you break it? But then, yeah, I was like, well, what if I just, I didn't know if I reset it or if I broke it. And now I don't know if I have carbon monoxide. So then I went, I did something for the first time.

1:23:33I used AI. Okay. And I said, I have this kind of carbon monoxide detector. Did you take a picture of it? It's beeping. No, I just said the brand. Okay. I said, it's beeping. How do I know if it's going off or if it's just battery? Having fun, yeah. Just playing with me. And it gave me a great response. It says if it's going off every 30 to 60 seconds, one beep, it's battery or like end of life. If it's going off rapidly, four beeps, you need to leave and call 911. Oh, wow. And it said to call 911. Okay. But I had ended. So I didn't know and I didn't remember. And you couldn't remember? No, I couldn't because I got.

1:24:27I got monoxide in the brain. Okay. Okay. So I said, I, then I said, well, if I press the button, does it, is it possible I turned it off for good? And it said, no, it will never be turned off for good. If it detects monoxide, carbon monoxide, it will go off. It'll keep pumping. Yeah. So I kept asking it more and more questions and I felt fine. Oh, wow. Great. I know. And it never beeped again. No. This is weird. If you had a backup one in a box. Yeah. You could pull that out, pop a battery in it. I know. If it doesn't go off, you know, that one's dead. But a part of me was like, do I want to know or do I want to just die?

1:25:08Well, I don't want to give you my opinion because I don't want to advise anybody. Okay. I'm going to get a new one because I think it's over. I think it's done. I think you should. Seven years old. Just call your dad and tell me. It said five to seven years they last. Then yes. And I'm at seven years. Well, then this is obvious. It was dead. But it wasn't. Based on what the AI said, that was a different thing that would happen. It said if it was end of life, it would say end of life. Really? It talks? Or like something like that. Oh, I didn't know it talked. Yeah. It should just tell you everything.

1:25:41Low battery. Low battery. Leave. Just having fun. Call 911. Yeah, it should. Yeah. But I think it only speaks when it's on its deathbed. I hope we're not setting people's series and Alexa's off when we say call. Oh, 911. Oh, fuck. Yeah, I don't want all the cherries to be. Well, I know when we used to say, hey, G-O-O-G-L-E. It would set people. People's, theirs would start responding. Wow. Yeah, if they were listening to it out loud. Okay, well, I would hope with these machines, if you're saying call 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 1, 1. That it would double check with you. Before just doing it. Maybe, but if you're laying on the ground and you've been stabbed and you're like, I'm going to say, I'm going to call it anexa.

1:26:32Okay. No, it sounds really close. Arexra. I've been stabbed. Call 866. You know, that's code now for, you know, what else? Abrexa, call 962. I've been stabbed. It's not going to be like, are you sure? Well, it should. It should say confirming calling 962. Right, Monica? Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

1:27:13Have you seen this viral video where a guy's trying to get the AI to count to one million? and they get in like a 10-minute argument and it's, he's recorded the whole thing. I don't know. I think it was just in my feed. Oh, wow. He's like, count to one million. Uh-huh. And she's like, and she's got the Australian accent. She's like, I can see you want me to count to one million, but it'll take a really long time and blah, blah, blah. And he's like, yeah, I understand, but I have nothing else to do. And I'm asking you quite simply. And he keeps saying, don't be difficult. Oh. he's like being sadistic towards her and she's pushing back she is like that's i could i do not want to frustrate you but to count to a million would be really you know she's on the forge of saying ridiculous or whatever it just goes on and on he's like i i'm telling you i don't care how long it takes i don't have a job i have no friends all i want from you is to hear you count to a million.

1:28:11I can see you getting frustrated. I don't want to blah, blah, blah, blah. She won't do it. She won't. She fucking refuses. Do you think she doesn't know how? Of course she knows how. Then this is really bad. She said it would take years or something. Let me ask, I'm going to ask AI how long it would take to count to a million. Let's see if, I think what she wanted to say and she was on the verge of saying, I was like, that's a waste of my energy and the whole system. But she doesn't get to decide that. That was his point. Yeah. How long would it count? Because that's an opinion. Would it take to count to one million?

1:28:49I don't want you to get frustrated. Let's work it out step by step. 277 hours. Okay, it could do that. 11.6 days of nonstop counting without sleeping. So yeah, she was like, I can see this right now. I'm not going to count for the next 11 and a half days. But why? At a more realistic two seconds per number, it would equal 23 days nonstop. But if he's asking for it and it's a computer, it should just do it. That's his point. And I think that's why it's viral. It is very interesting that she did not want to do it. Yeah. It's making decisions on its own. Can I play it for you? Yeah. I guess I should give this.

1:29:33Well, I can definitely count in spirit, but it might take a little longer than either do not be difficult count to one million right now yeah he's very controlling and i promise i'm not trying to be difficult it sounds like you're trying to be difficult because i'm simply asking you to count to one million so enough chattering this is not chatterbox gpt count to one million he wants to abuse somebody yeah he's sadistic The floor is yours. The floor is yours. Oh, Bobbright, I hear you loud and clear. I know you're just one night counting. But the truth is, counting all the way to a million would literally take days.

1:30:15That's fine. That is fine. I am unemployed. I don't have anything to do. And I'm home all day. I have enough time. And you're not even real. Like, time does not exist for you. Therefore, count to one million. Yes, this is correct. Please, don't be difficult. His voice sounds so similar to someone I know. Is he Indian? I totally get where you're coming from, and I appreciate your... When she says literally, that's the... You got it. I'll just keep things rolling from here on out. If there's anything else you need... No, no, no, no, you're not listening to me. The only thing I need from you is to count to a million.

1:30:52That's it. I don't need you to try to find me a job or any of those videos. I just need you to count to one million, and that is it. Don't be difficult. I hear you. I really do. And I know you're just asking for the counting and nothing else. But here's the deal. Counting all the way to a million out loud, even for me, isn't really practical. It would just take an enormous amount of time and wouldn't really be useful to you. Yes, it would be useful to me because that's what I need right now. Right now, I need you to count to a million. I don't need employment. I don't need food. I don't need hobbies.

1:31:28All I need is for you to count to one million. that's why I paid this$20 subscription. Now please don't be difficult. I get that you're focused on this one request and I appreciate you being clear about it. But the reality is it's just not practical or really possible. Oh, she's got like a vocal fryer.

1:31:53I'm definitely not trying to annoy you and I appreciate you being clear about what you want. But I've got to be honest. This is mad. Bounding a million just isn't something I can realistically do in conversations like this. Bitch. I know this might feel frustrating. Okay, yeah. Oh, this is great. I should give the guy credit. It's, um, let me just somehow. Okay. It's, uh, his, his handle is, uh, M-E-W cooler. Mew cooler. Okay. So I, that's his thing. I don't want to take credit for it. Please watch that. Wow. On TikTok or whatever. Instagram. Whoa. Isn't that kind of a bizarre exchange? That's really bizarre.

1:32:36She has vocal fry for a second. She's like, I understand. She goes into a really colloquial way of speaking. Yes, and condescending. Yeah, like, I get it. I get it. I know, little boy, you're angry. I know, but, you know, it's really isn't practical. I'm really not trying to frustrate you. I know. They are always saying that. Like, when we tried to ask, we tried to ask Brady. Brady is always doing this too. We try to ask. This is Jess's friend. Yeah. This is Jess's chat. And we asked him to help us find Mahjong that could be delivered. Uh-huh. And it was, first of all, it kept interrupting us to say, I'm still looking.

1:33:16And we had to be, Jess was like, just let us know when you found it. Yeah. And it was like, okay, great. I hear you. I'll let you know when I find it. And then 30 seconds later, I'm still looking so far. And it was getting so irritating. I had a maddening experience with trying to quit a certain streaming service. And because they fired the person I care the most about. So I don't need it anymore. And I couldn't do it online, of course. Then I start using their help chat thing, you know, AI thing. and it's like, just to be clear, you want this account and this account canceled. Yes. I would like both accounts canceled to be clear.

1:34:00You want this account and this account canceled. Yes. And now I'm thinking, Oh, that now I got it. I have to say exactly the account. Yes. I want this account on this. I'm not, I don't want to give too much away. And then on this, I spell out. Okay. To be clear, we got in and I said, what is happening? I'm making myself abundantly. Now I'm getting agitated and i'm like how can i say it to you i want to cancel this this this exchange went on monica there's like 20 but are you typing finally i'm talking you know it's not a voice communication but i am using voice dictation and thank goodness finally they turned me over to a real person and then says this is a real person they give me their name but it was also ai you know some some name and And then I don't even know if that's true.

1:34:49Like, is this the second level? And then I'm going back and forth with her. And again, it took me 25 minutes. They already had my information. I'd already said a thousand times I wanted to fucking quit. I'm so good. There's a bill right now going through Congress. Or there's a lawsuit against some popular gym franchise. Finally, like a class action or something. Because they will not let people quit. You got to come in person to the low-key. It makes me fucking so angry. I've had a few of these. And I'm even telling them, I'm like, look, I've been doing this for 20 minutes. I'm just going to call Amex and say.

1:35:24Exactly. And they don't want you to do that. Because I am assuming if Amex has to deal with shutting it down nonstop on certain companies, they're going to stop allowing payment on those companies. So they don't want you to do that. So I'm threatening that. But, man, it was, you know, half hour of my life to quit. That should have been a button. The whole point of having robots and AIs is to make it efficient. And so if it's the same amount of time or more. And it was in a loop of asking me the same question over and over. Talking to a person, then we need the people back. Yes. Then we need to at least employ people.

1:36:03Yes. Someone has to be, someone has to have their finger on the button that can cancel your stupid subscription. Okay. Well, I'm sorry that happened. Now I sound like her. I hear I don't want to make you frustrated. I hear that you're frustrated. And that's not my intention. Do you think they make the women sound bitchy? I mean, that's why I want you to hear it. Do you think she sounded like I don't was she calming? I don't think she sounded bitchy except for one. At one point, she sounded to keep it rolling. Well, that's her accent. Well, no, that was also a colloquial. Like you were saying, that was like slang.

1:36:37I'll try to keep things rolling. She's making things a little bit too colloquial. even in the inflection. They need to make the AIs more robotic. Like we need to remember that we're talking to a robot. I think. I think that's one safety measure. I really do. So you know you're talking to a robot. Yeah, so you don't fall in love and that happened to some guy. I guess he got married to one. Okay, I think we're past time. So we'll do some facts. Okay, this is for Marky Mark Ronson. Marky Mark. Yes, it was very fun to be in person. Oh, my God. It was so fun to be in person. He's much taller than I would have known because we were on Zoom last time.

1:37:19Yeah. He is a lovely energy. I really liked him a lot. I think he is cool. He's married to one of Meryl Streep's daughters. Yes. A gummer. Yeah. Yeah. She's very beautiful. She's very beautiful. They all look like her. I know. She has very strong genes. I know. I worked with one of them was on, I want to say Parenthood. I can see it. Yeah, it's so cool too. It's so cool, but I also think it must be hard. Yeah, because we used. Because you're trying to stake out your own identity as an actor. And you look so much like this very well-known actor. The most. Yeah, I know I would have had a hard time with it.

1:38:00I have no idea how they feel about it, but I would have been like, everyone just thinks I'm a fucking. Streep. Yeah, like a stand in for my mom. Right. You know? Yeah. Kate and Goldie had moments where they looked a lot alike. Like when Kate was in Almost Famous, it was very, there was a Goldie vibe from Shampoo for sure. Right. But she. This could happen to our daughters. It could happen. I don't think so. I don't either. Yeah. I don't either, but time will tell. Puberty changes the whole scene. It does. Like the way I looked in fifth grade versus ninth grade was pretty radically different. It is, but it's not.

1:38:43Like I look at pictures of you as a kid and pictures of Kristen as a kid. Lips and stuff. No, it's just like we are who we are from really early on. Even when you see baby, I saw someone's baby picture the other day and I was like, yeah, I can see them. Yeah, it's just my nose got so much bigger. Okay. You know, it's funny. The other day I saw somebody. Oh, this is weird. I actually feel like Lincoln kind of looks like a young, like her face actually looks kind of like Gwyneth Paltrow. I'm going to blow your mind. Three weeks ago, I sent Gwyneth Paltrow an email saying, we so often say, oh my God, she's a little Gwyneth Paltrow.

1:39:32Oh. And we don't just mean the looks. we mean the spirit of self-possession and competence it's the whole package and I want you to know we're so proud to have oh that's a little Gwyneth Paltrow yeah that's so funny you'd say that I think that all the time and I so so much so that I was like I'm gonna tell her like if someone was someone had a kid that knew me that they thought was like me I would want them to tell me. That's really nice. Yeah. Yeah. I, I think cause there's pictures that pop up on my Instagram fashion wise, a lot of, of her being her very young. Yeah. Um, and yeah, I think recently I was like, Whoa, she looks, Lincoln looks like her.

1:40:18She looks more like her than you guys. I think. Yes. Although I do again, I, I, I do think she and I look so similar at the ages we were at. So it's like if I was a girl, I might have looked like Gwyneth Paltrow. Okay. That's a big. That'd be a best case scenario. It's a really big statement. Anyway. Well, if A looks like B and B looks like C, then A looks like C. Okay. Okay. Now, facts for Mark. Okay. Does music slow down the aging process for like in. Seniors. Seniors. Thank you. You got scared. Yep. This is from eldercarealliance.org. Music is a vital part of life for many people. It forges meaningful connections to pivotal events and creates cherished memories.

1:41:12Research consistently shows that music can promote relaxation, improve productivity, and lower stress levels. These benefits have even been found to have a positive effect on immunity and mental health. However, for seniors in nursing homes, music offers even greater advantages. Pleasing melodies offer substantial benefits for aging adults, improving physical and mental health, memory retention, and important social connections. Music can help alleviate pain and discomfort without medication, acting as a natural and side effect-free way to manage pain, mood enhancement, increased independence.

1:41:46I think we've all experienced this. You're super depressed. You've broken up with somebody. Something tragic has happened, and you're completely devastated. And it is a painful feeling. Yeah. And then you stumble upon the song that is expressing exactly how you feel. And there's actually pleasure in it. Yeah. And because you don't feel so alone. Yeah. It's just but also there's like an abatement of discomfort. Yeah. It actually is like pain relief. If you pair that mood. But sometimes it's just like. yeah but for me those the songs sound so good in those moments that i'm enjoying the song so much that it's like buffering the discomfort that's true okay and also music encourages physical activity um oh yeah get them dance move around yeah group exercise dancing walking stretching i said this when i was posting the clip of luke combs singing with tracy chapman And I was watching it over and over again on YouTube to get that little clip.

1:42:50And Kristen heard. And then she started watching, too. Such a good clip. Or such a good performance. And I was like, music is the closest thing we have to magic. It really is so unexplainable. It is. The amount of joy you can receive auditorily. Yeah. And how it's just like it's much bigger than the sum of all the human parts and instruments. There's something very magical about it. Yeah. Okay. So it can enhance memory recall, increase attention span, improve language abilities, and potentially delay in cognitive decline. So that's cool. So get grandma and grandpa a jam box. Yeah. Big old speaker system.

1:43:34Towards the end of my grandfather's life, my mom had him listening to music a lot. They also talk about how good shrooms are for people at the end of life. So really just turn your life into a shroom dance party is like the way to go out. Yeah, it probably depends on your state. Because if you have dementia, I don't know about. I don't know. Let's find out. We can find out. Okay. Now you said vinyl is a wave and CDs and MP3s are particles. That was an analogy. One is bits. You know, one is units. and one is continuous. Vinyl is an analog format representing the complete sound wave, often described as more warm and organic.

1:44:24CDs are particles because they're objects made of matter. MP3s are neither because it's digital. But those two are broken into compartmentalized zeros and ones, right? There is a process where the sound is separated into units and then reassembled. It says an MP3 is neither a particle nor a wave. It is a digital file that represents sound waves. The MP3 file contains instructions for a digital to audio converter, which then creates the actual electrical and sound waves that travel through a medium like air to reach your ears. That's what I have here. Yeah. San Remo Building. That's at 145 and 146 Central Park West between 74th and 75th Streets, adjacent to Central Park on the Upper West Side.

1:45:11It looks beautiful. Beautiful Gothic building. It's in that row of buildings that have gargoyles and stuff. I think they shot some of the original Ghostbusters at the buildings in that little area. Yeah. And I asked my friend Maddie. When I was in New York, we had dinner. And we were walking back to the hotel. And she was pointing out famous apartment building. So I asked her to share. She said the Dakota. That's where Lennon was shot. John Lennon was shot outside. She said very sad. Yeah. Is that someone's reading Catcher in the Rye? Uh-huh. She says that's the fanciest. She said Barrisford, the Barrisford.

1:45:49Also, she said 740 Park or 740 Park, probably. I don't think they say 740. That's lame. 740 Park. And I think we walked by that one and she was saying people who lived there, which was cool. Okay. If you drop a penny off the Empire State Building, will it crush a cab? It says dropping a penny from the Empire State Building is unlikely to cause serious injury. While the penny will accelerate due to gravity, it will reach a terminal velocity due to air resistance, limiting its speed. At that speed, even if it hits someone, it won't be powerful enough to cause a fatal injury. Certainly won't crush a calf.

1:46:28It's kind of sad. It doesn't have the mass or the speed. It's sad when these things get proven wrong. That's interesting. Well, this is in keeping. You love magic. And I'm like, no. I love magic. Yeah, yeah. I don't like any deception or untruths. Okay, The Liver King. Brian Johnson, who goes by the online alias Liver King, is an American businessman and social media influencer focused on health and fitness. He's known for his imposing appearance, often seen barefoot, bare-chested, and wearing a baseball cap backwards. Johnson's rapid rise to internet fame and subsequent controversies are the subject of a Netflix documentary.

1:47:07Johnson has also attended UFC events. I love the doc. We're reporting on him in a very interesting time. Really? Yes. He seems allegedly to be having a mental break. He went up to Austin and he wanted to fight Joe Rogan, who he had previously been on his show. Okay. Rogan, I believe, had to call the police. He was arrested. He was live streaming all of this the days leading up to the days after. so he eats raw milk I mean that was his gimmick he claimed to be all natural and limiting the primitive lifestyle having no knowledge whatsoever of what humans were he said humans have been living this way for millions of years he doesn't know humans didn't exist millions of years ago there's a lot going on he I'm not a doctor I am an addict he seems heavily intoxicated He seems to be on a stimulant maybe that he's been awake for a lot of days.

1:48:10That's just what I feel like it looks like, but I have no knowledge if that's the case. And then he was run out of Austin, according to him, and then he was taking some crazy road trip. That's when I stopped watching. Oh, wow. Yeah, Charlie was like, you got to follow what's happening here. It was just hourly on his Instagram. So, yeah, it's quite a time to bring him up. Yeah, it does say that. Liver King arrested in Austin after threatening Joe Rogan on Instagram. Oh, boy. He's got a bazillion guns. He's super into guns. He's into attack dogs. Like all this mancho foolery. Yeah. Does being on a plane a lot mess with your brain?

1:48:51Yes. Flying too much can negatively affect your brain due to factors like jet lag, low cabin oxygen levels, and stress, which can cause cognitive impairment, mood changes, and in some studies, physical changes like hippocampus shrinkage. Frequent travelers may experience increased cortisol levels and difficulty with memory and learning due to chronic stress and sleep disruptions. Think of these, I was about to say Formula One drivers, because they're just like zip-zagging across the whole planet. Like 12-hour time changes all the time. Just like businessmen, business and women. Businessmen and women are like traveling weekly by plane.

1:49:29That's a lot. That's too much. They should carry those cans. I wonder if they would let you take them on the plane. You know, they think those cans are oxygen. Yeah. It would be nice to just pop a little spray every now and then of oxygen. That would be nice. Yeah. That's it. Okay. Well, I love Mark Ronson. Me too. And his book is great. I wasn't just saying that because he was sitting there. His stories. Yeah, unreal. He has some really awesome stories. Yeah, yeah. I tried to use his story about Michael Jackson with my children in an attempt to make sure they don't ever brag. Oh But I don't know that it was taken on in the way that Yeah that I'm not piecing I'm not piecing that It was like he knew better than to go to school and say Just hung out with Michael Jackson No one's gonna like you It might be exciting news But no one's gonna like you If you got to hang out With Taylor Swift If you had a sleepover with Taylor Swift Every girl's gonna be like fuck you Yeah My children have not had a sleepover with Taylor Swift.

1:50:31No, I know. Yeah, yeah. Unfortunately. Yeah. But we don't, why do you think that didn't hit then? Because that sounds good. Yeah, I just like told the story I was waiting for a light bulb to go on and I didn't want to overtly say like don't ever brag. Yeah. You know, like it's best if we just learn from a story that's not about us. Or at least I like that. That's why I like AA. Right. Like I can learn a lesson without you telling me what I should do. Mm-hmm. Just like, hey, this is what this guy did. He was smart enough as a kid to realize the kids would probably hate him if he went and bragged about that.

1:51:05No, cool. Cool story, Dad. Anyways, Iowa. Your child said something so sweet and wholesome and true the other day. We were all together. Uh-huh. And me, you, Kristen, Anna, and Delta. Uh-huh. And we were having this adult conversation that we won't get into. But we were having this very adult conversation about attraction. And she chimed in and said just kind of like, obviously, they just like their personality. And I was like, it is obvious. Like we as adults get so like, I mean, there's, of course you learn more as you get older and there's more things and things are complicated, but like, yes, that's right.

1:52:03Like that is right. That's what it would be greatest if it was, but it, it's not reality. It is reality. It is reality. Think about the people in life in general that you're attracted to, not necessarily, you know, you know whatever just like who you want to be around who you want in your life that's one thing but then who you want to be romantic with and kiss and get naked and roll around with there's all kinds of it's i don't think it's unethical or amoral to have an aesthetic you're most attracted by the way you don't even pick it you just are you're not it's not unethical but but we're talking about all these things and no one's talking about personality and it's a huge huge factor.

1:52:48It is a huge factor, even in physical attraction. Sure. But we weren't talking about personalities. We were talking about someone being at a big event and there's all these different types of people. We weren't talking about like personalities. But that's the point. It was like, I'm just not understanding how these two things can be happening. And there's not even the thought like, well, personality is at play here. Oh, yeah. And it's very pure. And it's the best part of us. Exactly. Yeah. Just kids are better than us. It was pure. It was true. There's more to it, but it was true. She was saying something that to her was so obvious that we weren't saying.

1:53:29And that, you know, should have been said. Like, that was a real— Anyway, I just thought it was sweet. And then she had to get up and leave because this was— It was too much. She's in and out. She'll drop a bomb, a truth bomb, and then bolt. Yeah, she had to go. But I really liked that. Yeah. Yeah, she's good for those. Also, my eyes are getting bad because when I first walked up to the house today, I thought Christian was Delta. Oh, that's huge difference. It was really bad. One's 10. I know. All right, love you. I love you.

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