Mom's Car: Briegh Morrison

22:40Right after the surgery. Six weeks after the surgery, I started chemo. Okay. Six weeks after chemo, I started radiation. Okay. And then six weeks after radiation, they put me on all the meds, which I'm now on. And then I also had reconstruction and they basically take fat, which is great. Yeah, great. in like my waist and then I like fluff it up. Oh wow. You didn't have to have a saline implant? No, which is great. But what was great is I had a lot to offer, to take away. Yeah, yeah. Do you think that God smited you because you valued your boobs too much? Well, this is one of those things. If I got a cancer, it would definitely be dick.

23:18I definitely feel smote. Yes. Pride goes before the fall. Vanity is a sin. And I definitely was, I was so devastated about losing any of the tissue. You're God's gift. And now I'm like super stoked because I get like all these new clothes and they look different. I look thinner and I like it. So I'm into it. But again, you don't know what the gifts are going to be until you go through. And how did you do with all the sympathy that came your way? I try to imagine all the different stages of this. It's, of course, very hard to imagine someone looking at you and going, yeah, okay, you have tons of cancer.

23:51Like, that's certainly a moment. But I called you and I'm like, I just want to be with you. I love that part because I am super, super social. I want to always be chit-chatting with people. Right. So anyone who wanted to like come around and hang out with me. But you kind of had three different camps. You had the people who are just like, I want to spend as much time with you before you die. Sure. Or, you know, I want to make sure I spend quality time with you. Those I was like super happy. And that was really fun. There were the people who were just like, your cancer is too hard for me. And they just kind of leave.

24:24Like, they're just gone. Without naming anyone, were there a couple that shocked you? Like, wow, I thought we were closer than this? Yes. Yeah. Yes. And has there been residual damage from that? Or you got over it? I kind of get over it. Because, again, I'm an unlimited well of put in more conversation, just put in more people. I just always want to be social. Or it was just like where I would still hang out with them, but I had to do a lot of like, it's okay. Yeah, comforting them. Yeah, comforting them. Most people were just fine. I also love to get A pluses. I've always got A pluses. I'm like a 4.0 student.

25:00And I got a fucking AP level A plus in cancer. I'm not shocked. No, I did so good. I try to always explain. When I try to explain our time together to people, I go, well, this was the pattern. And whatever I did, Brie came and did much better immediately. Like, I worked at Shows and Choose. People like me. You went there and my mom was like, I want to give her the company. I was very good at Shows and Choose. But I've also come to realize that about myself is that you aren't going to find someone who works more. You know, like I'm always moving, always cleaning. But I don't really like the pressure of big jobs.

25:45Like, I don't know. Right. Let's keep that in mind for somewhere down the road in this conversation. You cleaning a certain boat, maybe after sniffing a lot of drugs. Do you remember this story? Oh, my God. I don't know if I remember. I need to tell it again. I don't know. Cleaning a boat is something I've done so much. Oh, my God. Okay. This is from my memory. Yeah, these are all, by the way. From my iron claws. This is fact. Let me give you some facts about your life. So Dean's house, Dean Nichols, Dean and Michelle, their first house, which they were the first to get a house out of anybody.

26:27They're the first kind of grown-ups. We're at Dean's. Now, Dax and I just talked about this. Me bringing meth back to Detroit. Back to Detroit. What a treat. So cheap. Doesn't fill you up. They eat right. Low calories. A little bit will go a long way. Or you can just do all of it and, you know, deal with it for a few, three or four days. Yeah. So I remember my first time, I think it was four days. Like the fourth day was insane. Yeah. Yeah. Where you are actually maybe. Losing your mind. Yeah. You might be too far gone. Yeah. Like that kind of thing. And I think it was this time because a lot of days went after this.

27:03Like I remember days by myself and I was still rolling. That's the worst experience in my life. Right. So I think day one, though, we're all partaking and partying. Was I partaking? Yeah, yeah. If you recall, you have, I'm going to guess, five times you did it. Yeah, I would say because I was not because I don't need it. My memory, Ironclad, I remember the girls like you doing a little, but then we were hoarding. Yeah. And you and I, especially, you were probably hoarding even more than from me. Sure. And then we hoarded from Dean and everyone else. I'm the layers of loyalty. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

27:41Exactly. I remember you guys did a little, but a little was enough. And was it meth? Yeah, it was fucking meth. Well, listen, you'll remember because you were working, we won't say your name, but you were working at Fred Siegel. And the girls at Fred Siegel did meth. Oh, yeah. Right? I mean, for the most part, the very first time we ever met, Nate and I were doing meth for the first time. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, that's what we just talked about. In Franklin Hills, actually. Yeah, like Brooks House. Yeah, yeah. So we had gotten it from one of your coworkers around Michael Turina area. I had brought it home on the plane so that they could try this great throw.

28:16I got it. Amazing. Which ended up being hell. I asked for more. And I remember you sent me some further down the line. That was terrible. When you get more of that. Yeah. I mean, the first couple of days were great. Yeah, sure. When you're just horny and not crazy. Yeah, yeah. Those were fun. And you can, you know, just drink an excessive amount. So the next morning, this is what you have to remember, Butch, Dean's dad, comes over because he always does this shit. He comes over and it's like 10, 11 in the morning and we're all up as if we all try to pretend we're just getting up. And we're having a good weekend and the fucking yard is fucked.

28:58We're still drinking. It gets a little uncomfortable, too much maybe for some to handle. you and I think Michelle the boat was in the driveway and you were cleaning that fucking boat for I mean what seemed like the entire morning like after the sun came I think it was before yeah when Butch showed up you were already cleaning the boat oh I'm sure so you were cleaning the boat Dex was overly trying to compensate that like to prove to him we are sober So sober. So he. Look it, who would be cleaning his home? Just talking to him so much and chewing his lips off. And like to make it seem like it's normal.

29:44Sure. Yeah. So, you know, that fucking, of course, we all know that horrifying feeling. Like later knowing what we did. Oh, yeah. Like, oh, my God. Yeah. Like won't even let him go until we. So anyway. Until we've proven it. On account of just getting up and breaking up. Breakfast, we already had it. Yep, we had it. After we woke up. We were starving. We have our full appetites. Going to get that boat clean. That's what the girls are doing. Clean up the boat. Got the women out working on the boat. We're going to work on the engine when they're done. Stay tuned for more Mom's Car. We are supported by Allstate.

30:28You know what's smart? checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking that your phone isn't connected to your car's Bluetooth before having a private conversation. And let me tell you, nothing quite prepares you for that moment when you realize your entire carpool just heard every detail of your last doctor's appointment through the car speakers. Talk about an awkward ride. Or how about this one? Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance is smart. Unfortunately, not checking that all your windows are closed before going through the car wash is not smart.

31:02I learned that lesson the hard way last week. There's nothing like getting an unexpected shower while you're trying to clean your car's interior. At least the kids thought it was hilarious. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary. Subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North America Insurance Co. and affiliates. Northbrook, Illinois. Get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered.

31:35A day at the lake? That's a no. A Philly cheesesteak? That's a yes. An afternoon stroll? Sorry, no. A burrito bowl? Happily, yes. What about a day of sunshine? Not happening. A box of fine chocolates? Yes, that's happening. Delivery on its way. Okay, how about some clear skies? Nope. Well, then how about some French fries? Yep. A little escape? No. A delicious bowl of grapes? Yes, yes, that. How about a freshly cut lawn? Can't help you there. But barbecue prawns? Order it and it's on its way. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Product availability may vary by region.

32:15See app for details.

32:19I guarantee, though, if you ask Dean and Michelle, because I remember the boat being clean was my favorite part because I think it went on most of the day. Oh, I'm sure. Like once you got started, you wouldn't stop. I actually realized when I look back at, I never was this crazy drunk fall down ever, never. No. But I will look back and be like, oh, I was trying to be so on top of everything in my life in order for nobody to like, you know, question having a little extra or whatever. which is this weird thing. And it probably just started even back then. Well, I always think, too, you were in a tricky position to ever evaluate your drinking because you lived with someone who was going very hard all the time and doing drugs.

33:05Yeah. And so relative to me, you had your ship fully together. You could have had a roommate that you might have been like, oh, I drink a lot. I mean, I drink much more than she does. Or like Scotty. Scotty was a heavy drinker, but he had to say to me, you can't drink at my house anymore. Like so relative to me. Yes. I also stopped drinking as much. You know, I wasn't binge drinking when I was a working person and stuff. So I feel like, oh, well, that was then. That's when I was partying in my 20s and that was like an era. And now I'm a responsible drinker. Yes. I weirdly have become grateful that I didn't have a drinking habit that was in the gray zone.

33:45Mine was just so obviously untenable that I had to stop. and I just have a lot of friends who it's like, they're not sure if it takes more than it gives. Sure. It's like hard to figure that out. No, I feel like I felt like that for a long time. Yeah, and I've always just kind of been more like, I almost would rather just be a drunk and then you got to quit and then you don't even have to even ever evaluate it anymore. Yeah, it's just over. How did your parents take it? Because now obviously that you have kids, I just can't imagine that call. They kind of went into go mode. My mom, she came down.

34:16You're your mother's daughter. Yeah, exactly. She came down for the surgery She had all my meds ready to go and just was really taking care of the household, taking care of the kids, doing all of that. One of my favorite things is there was like a journal, my meds after the surgery. And then it was all, Bree thinks Bree is, I wish I remembered what it said. Bree thinks Bree is okay. Brad thinks Bree's not okay. I thought I was like totally fine, but I was on like oxygen stuff. Bree thinks Bree's okay. Brad's not so sure. I'm so sure. That's so funny. My dad was good, too. They were perfect. Not alarmist.

34:54And then Joya, of course, went into full doctor mode. Yeah. And was just like... This is a good time to have a best friend that's an ER doctor. Every really walked me through the emotional parts that were really the hardest part of all of it. Yeah. Was the fear. She deserves a shout out, too. When my dad was diagnosed, I called her. I was like, here's what the diagnosis is. And she goes, yeah, there's nothing that can be done. He's going to die in a few months. And so proceed accordingly. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm so glad someone just told me we have no magic silver bullet for small cell carcinoma.

35:23Don't waste your time trying to fly to some other state. No, no, no. Just get in there and spend as much time as I can. Go hang out. Yeah, yeah. Actually, one of my biggest regrets was not reaching out to your dad before. It was hard, but I felt like it wasn't my place. So I just didn't. I did reach out to Buttons. You did? Yeah, yeah. Oh, good. I really taught me to your mom and Buttons before. Buttons. Dave Buttons. Oh, sweet Dave Buttons. Were you on the trip where he got named Dave Buttons? Maybe. Oh, yeah. You told me about it. I feel like... I don't know. We went twice to an all-inclusive place.

35:55I went once with you and I went once with Carrie, and I can't remember what trip was on. But basically, we were checking in. Was your mom wasn't with Buttons when you were with Carrie? Yeah. Yeah, she was. Buttons was around when I got there, or soon after. I think 10th grade they started dating. Oh, okay. Never mind. Okay. Yeah, yeah. 10th grade for me and Carly. Yeah, you're right. It was in fourth grade or something. because, yeah, he was very much her dad. But yes, we're checking. His name was Dave Barton. And we're checking in to this all-inclusive hotel. And we've all just gotten off a plane.

36:25So there's a line of like 15 people that are checking in. And Barton and his soft voice, they're like, reservation name? And he goes, oh, Dave Barton? And then a guy like four behind us goes, excuse me. No, excuse me. I'm Dave Buttons. Oh, that's all right. I'm Dave Buttons. I'm Dave Buttons. And Barton goes, no, I'm Dave Barton. And for some reason, neither of them can hear that it's two different names. The guy keeps going, this man's trying to check into my name. I'm the real Dave Buttons. I think it was Terry because I remember hearing the story. Yeah, and Barton's like, I'm the real Dave Barton.

36:59It was insane. But the best part was we get into our room and, of course, all of our luggage is there. His is not there. And there's an errand suitcase in our room. And Barton's like, he just can't figure out where his bag is. It's so weird. And I go, Barton, clearly Dave Button's answer. Maybe it was. It's so hard sometimes whether you know if you were there or you just heard the story so many times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't know either. We've been wrestling with that a lot. But anyways, I pick up the phone. The room's registered to Dave. And I said, I swear to God, I call up and I go, hi, can I be connected to Dave Button's room?

37:35And they go, sir, you're in Dave Button's room. And I go, no, I'm in Dave Barton's room. And they go, oh, yes, sorry. You are in Dave Barton's room. So then they patch me through to Dave Button's room and he picks up. He's like, hello. And I go, Buttons, it's Barton. I go, do you have a bag in your room? Because we have an ex-wife. He's like, yes, I do. Okay. What's the room? I'm kidding. Oh, you are in Dave Button's room. You're calling from Dave Button's room. Now I'm really feeling like I was definitely there. I feel like that's basically the only thing we talked about for the rest of the trip.

38:08Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dave Button's. Okay, good. So you called him. No, I went up to Oregon. And saw them. Great. Just on a random trip that I went up there. But I went up there to see him. To see him. Yeah. Was it 2016, maybe? You know, I'm so fucking bad with dates. But what I remember is that I had taken Lincoln at three years old to North Carolina, just her and I. And then when Delta turned three, I was like, I'm going to take you to Michigan. It was like springish summer. That trip was planned. And then I ended up kind of last minute going to see my mom in Barton. And when I was there, things were quite untenable and bad.

38:41I had to like talk to the hospice woman and find out. I don't know what you want me to say or not want me to say. Yeah, it's legal here. I'm in Oregon, right? Is it legal there? It's legal, but he would have had to. You can go get it, but you got to go in person and prove your mentally sound. And he was intending to do that and he missed his window. All of a sudden he was just stuck in bed and he couldn't go. So I said to the woman, I don't know what you want me to say or not say. And she said, don't worry. I've been in this situation lots. What I'm going to say, I heard you ask is how can we keep him very comfortable?

39:11So let me show you the schedule of drugs that is, you have to do it this way. And these are the ones that are at your discretion as he needs it. And she kind of walked me through what's going to get measured at the end, what's not, what's loosey-goosey, and said, I'll be back. And then at one point, he was unconscious, but he was foaming. And my mom was freaking out. And she came back. And I was like, what? He's foaming. And she's like, don't worry, I have drops for that. Let me go get drops. So it was interesting. I was like all unspoken. I then left there. And immediately, I just flew to LA, went home, grabbed Delta, brought her back, I got on a plane and went to Detroit.

39:43And on that flight to Detroit with her, I was like, holy cow, that was a crazy three days. Because it took a couple days, two and a half days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was gnarly. Why did I even bring that up? I know, because I saw him. Because anyway, regrets. Do you think you would have been nervous to call my dad because it would have felt disrespectful to Kristen? Yes, that was 100 % the case. Actually, it was so sweet. It must have been on social media at some point where you guys were all in the hospital. And that's the only way I even knew it was close to the end was because of this. And I had a really strong desire to reach out at that time.

40:18Oh, because Kristen was pregnant. Because Kristen was pregnant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like we'd just been able to tell him. And I was like, he just isn't. Let me ask you this. Is Brad friendly with his exes? No. Right. And either is Kristen. And so I think initially when Kristen and I started dating, you were still coming over a lot because my mom was living at my house. You were around even in like the first month or two we were dating. And she initially was like, this is really wild. Like, I'm not friends with any of my exes. I don't hang out with any of my exes. And I'm like, I'm friends with all mine, pretty much.

40:47Over time, she got super comfortable with it and absolutely at ease with it. But it is interesting. There's been a couple moments where I was like, oh, is that potentially hurtful? Like, I did a live show in Seattle. And I, of course, invited your parents. Yes, they were very excited. And I had the sweetest time with your dad imaginable. And I just love him so much. I would say like, oh, I'm inviting Brie's parents to show. And I'm like, is that one going to be a thing? It's interesting when you extend it out, maybe it's a little trickier. Like the parents thing. Definitely. I mean, I've talked to your mom over the years.

41:20Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here and there. Or if she's been in town and had lunch. Losing the relationship with your mom was one of the hardest parts. Because I remember when we went to therapy. Initially, like sort of like, let's work this out. And immediately he was sort of like, you know, I know my job is to keep people together, but I very clearly see this as me helping you guys break up. A healthy disillusionment. Yeah, exactly. But I feel like we worked that out, you know, with help and all that. And it felt very natural. I think we should even back up. My best friend when I was in Washington was your ex-boyfriend, Aaron.

41:51Yeah. And when you were in Michigan, your best friend was my ex-girlfriend, Carrie. Oh, yeah. Love Carrie. William and Michelle, all that whole crew, but also with your mom. Oh, I'm only pointing out like you and I were already always very comfortable with that. And you and I were both the kind of people that stay friends with our exes. Yeah, it just doesn't matter. But yes, I definitely felt that Kristen, I didn't want to step on Kristen's toes. Well, I think that's very sweet that you felt like missing my mom would be a big one. Yeah, that was a big deal. Because she loves you so much. You know what I mean?

42:22Like, I was so young. And for so long, she was very much a mom figure to me. I still love Laura Buzz. Who doesn't? Do you know that Brie's husband, Brad, and Kristen went on a date in college? Did they not go on? No, she was dating one of his friends. She thinks they went on a date. I mean, he'll like that. She tells people you should tell him. I mean, maybe he's cute. But she was dating someone that he was good friends with. Maybe that came after. It could have. She thinks they went on a date. I like it. She doesn't think anything really happened, but she thinks she went on a date. I like it.

42:57What could possibly happen in this universe with that many people? I mean, there's so many random, weird, I mean, super fan, Kristen. But I, like, see similarities between us. You and Kristen? Kristen, yeah. Which ones? Just kindness and beauty and intelligence. No, I'm kidding. No, but you know what quality you both have, which is super. Hardworking. Super hardworking. Hot. Yeah. Great moms. Yeah. No, something that you guys have that I value so much is I think you two above any other people I've ever met. You have your opinions and your position, but you're really able to listen to another point of view and consider it and integrate it.

43:40Neither of you guys are like stuck. You're very fluid. Yeah, I would agree with that about myself. Yeah. I know Kristen well enough to know. For me, it's an imperative quality because I'm most interested in going like, oh, I feel this way. Okay, now I'm going to really make myself try to believe I'm a Republican and I think that's killing a baby. Okay, yeah, I get that. If you think that's killing a baby, that's got to be your number one issue. You've got to stop killing babies. That's got to be above tariffs and everything else. I get it. They'll go like, well, he's racist. But yeah, but if you're evaluating racism against killing a baby, that's a very simple decision.

44:16So I love spending time thinking that way. And I think if I was just with someone who's like, no, it's got to be this way. But I do think it is a funny small world, even that they went to college and ran in the same circles. It's impossible. But I also think it was like helpful in Kristen opening up to the notion that you could be trusted and be friends. I think the fact that your partner was a guy she liked. Oh, sure. Was interesting. I felt like that was a good thing. I think it was really that she wanted to get her hands on Mac. She was really willing to really put anything aside in order to get a piece of that.

44:50That's true. That was also a big building moment is that. I mean, you guys had him for like six months. Did we? The longest we had him. You had him the whole time we were in Australia. God, I love Max so much. He's the first animal I love. She like used him for sort of larky things on the Internet. Yes, yes. Like he was like always doing dumb shit. Yeah, he was an influencer when he was with her. Exactly. As he was always meant to be. Talk about the craziest, like the world's too small. I was in New York with Kristen. We're walking down the street and there's a guy on a bicycle and in a basket, he has a little Brussels Griffon.

45:30And I stopped, as I always stopped and look at Brussels Griffon because of Mac. And I'm looking at this dog and I'm like, it's Mac. What? I go, man, this dog looks so much like this little Brussels I watch sometimes named Mac. and he immediately goes, wait, Mac? Who was the girl who originally? Margarita LaViva, who's doing a show with Brad right now. No! And he got to sit down and talk about Mac for like an hour a few weeks ago. She's on Daredevil. She remembers the moment. It's funny, because I felt like I had stolen him from her. Yes, yes, yes. Because she was away on a movie, yeah. I knew he was supposed to be with you.

46:07Yeah, Bill B was DLB. Number one dog of all time. So this was Mac? It was Mac's brother. And I go, he goes, wait, Mac, who Marguerite adopted. And I'm like, yes. And lo and behold, Mac used to be a New Yorker. And then Brie took him to New York, which is one of your funniest stories. You say you took him outside of the hotel and set him down on the ground. You know, he was this big. Yeah. And he just immediately was like, that's right. And he was strutting around New York as it was his city. I mean, he strutted around everywhere. He walked across the stage at UCLA. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he walked across.

46:44I had him tucked away in my, he's been to Disney World. I took him on the Gravitron. You can't bring a dog to Disney World, can you? Yes. No, I snuck him in. Oh, right. But you're not informally allowed to. Okay, great. That's great. He went everywhere. The Gravitron was really when Brad was like, okay, babe, like, I don't think he wants to be on the Gravitron. He's not going to. He's pressed to the side. He's not going to enjoy the Gravitron. Was Brad instantly at ease with us being friends? Yeah, I feel like because he came in, we were already friends. Right. So it didn't really. Yeah, I don't remember it ever bothering him.

47:16He's so radical. Oh, my God. He's the best. Now, do we have any overlap? With what? Like you and Kristen share that thing. Do Brad and I share anything? He's very ambitious. He is very ambitious. Yeah. Very smart. I always said you should have started a talent agency because you found me and I was a directionless drunk. No, same. And Brad's like, I picked you up in a Honda Civic. And like literally did not have a job. He just uncovered a picture because we were looking for pictures of Maisie for her bat mitzvah and stuff. And he uncovered a picture of me installing a toilet paper roll holder at his apartment.

47:51Because he didn't even have a toilet paper roll holder. So I went to Home Depot, bought him a screwdriver and like put it in. You know her husband who she met who was penniless. He was doing EPK maybe, running a video camera on Iron Man. He was the producer's assistant. like getting coffee and but he also by the way had an Emmy at that time he had like a Webby and an Emmy for web content but now it's Kevin Feige and him at Marvel he's like the baddest motherfucker at Marvel so when we broke up I think certainly in retrospect it was time for that yeah amicable as it could be when you're with someone absolutely so like the breakup was manageable but I will say for a while I did think well I'll never be in love with someone again in that way.

48:35I had a deep fear. I'm like, oh, I don't think I'll ever really feel the way I felt about Brie with anybody. I was quite scared of that. Yeah, I think it's so funny because for me, it basically was that I fell in love with someone while we were dating and was sort of like, oh shit, I can't do both things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I actually very quickly did not like that guy after that. So sometimes I wonder like, Did I just let myself get tangled up in those feelings in order to do what I knew was going to serve me ultimately, which was that we needed to not be together? And I don't know what to if you have an open relationship with someone for so long.

49:16Can you go back and then not? Can you go back and then not have an open relationship? Oh, right. Well, I will say so ours was, I would say, by all accounts, quite successful to go nine years. Absolutely. Four years for me. This is terrible news. We're like, we're employers. I have a whole round of guilt tonight. No! No, because I didn't actually. What's so funny is, again, I think that there's like, I don't really get mad. No, I know. Or I just don't really, like, I just think that the whole. Great call leaders and a kind of a sad voice. Yeah, but the whole human experience is so complicated. Why would you waste any time, like, begrudging someone?

49:55When I look back, there's really nothing I regret. But I will say I can see the things that also fueled you and I, which is like, I think for myself, I was inclined to be smarter and transcendent of this thing that lesser smart people were trapped in. Okay. If that makes any sense. Yeah, okay. Like, I like the idea when I'm crafting my story of who I am, that other people succumb to this and I don't. I'm above this. Yeah. Like, yes, my girlfriend may like other boys at times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I can handle that, and I'm kind of above that. I think I felt the same way about that. I don't remember any being mad at you ever, really.

50:37I mean, we had some fights when we were drunk. Oh, God. Us drunk was a bad combo. Which was hard, because we were drunk a lot. Yes, yes, we were drunk a lot. But I think in general, we almost never, ever, ever fought. Yeah, our relationship is like Aaron and I's friendship. We just never fought. Yeah, I don't really get incensed. I just don't really get mad. When I think back of that period, my whole 20s, where it was like I had moved to this state to do this thing, and I was failing at it. I was pretty certain I was going to continue to fail at it. Like, I wasn't optimistic about it. The kind of burden of my ambition is not a good enough word for it, but just I have to do something special.

51:18I have to be special. Everyone has thought I was special growing up and I have to deliver. And like the weight of that was quite intense. Did you have that? No. Okay. Because when you're saying that cancer was pleasurable, I relate, but I relate in the way that I would have an excuse to like take my foot off the gas and not have to evaluate how much I'm doing and am I achieving my potential and all that. But that's not what was comforting to you about it. Yeah, no. Does it make any sense? It does make sense because I know a lot of it's like - Because you had the drive to go get all A's, But you didn't feel this enormous.

51:50Also, because I think truly, truly, truly, I wish I had just stayed in school and have been like an English professor because I really just like working in the world of ideas, talking, thinking about the way people think. That's why I love reading so much, because it's really just looking inside people's brains. Yes. And just listening to all their deepest inner thoughts. And that's my favorite thing to do. Or like, I wish I would have become a therapist or something. But I remember when I was working for Gavin and Greg. Uh-huh. I was really like, okay, I'm supposed to have ambition now. I'm supposed to like do something in this industry.

52:21I'm smart. I owe it to the world to like make it. But I never knew what making it looked like for me. Like you knew you wanted to be a comedian. You wanted to get the most laughs. You wanted to have the biggest audience. Right, right, right. I never really knew what making it looked like. Right. Because I didn't have a goal. My goal was always just like, I want to be wherever I am and talking to the people that I'm talking to. Yeah. And getting into it. Yeah. Which is also, I think, one of the things I really liked about drinking is because it's so funny how many people are so sad that I don't drink.

52:51So sad. Oh, I bet. Like, so sad. Sure. You're a good time. They're just like, oh, like, it's almost as if my drinking gave them permission to have a good time. Yes. And it's so hilarious to me because I'm like, on the one hand, I'm like, well, thank God they're not like, oh, God, she really needed to quit. You know, like, it wasn't like. Yeah, people aren't going, phew. Yeah, no one's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, great idea. But it is funny to me because I'm like, no, one of my gifts is really just being in the moment with the people that I'm with. And alcohol especially can loosen people up to go deeper with themselves and with the people around them.

53:26You're almost committing to the hang because you're like, well, we're going to be drunk a little bit and then we can't go to work or go exercise. No, just keep shooting the shit. Yes, we have no choice. I'll stay up all night and shoot the shit. Yes. And that's what's so great now is when I'm around the bonfire with my family and things, I'm still the last one up. I'm still talking to everybody. And what I've also realized, so my daughter's bat mitzvah was just this Saturday. Yeah. And my Gigi, my grandma, Winkle, she was famously sober for many years. But she's always like, Marie, it's fine. As long as you start out sober with everybody, you'll just feel as drunk as everybody else by the end of the night.

54:01She's like, you just can't go into it. Right. You can't show up where everyone's hammered. No. That's right. Even by the end of the night, I'm now seeing that more and more. I'm getting more validation that that's the case. Yes. And it loosens my grip on feeling like I'm supposed to participate in that way. Because I feel like, oh, I'm still bringing every bit as much as I was bringing to the table as I was before. More so. And I get to wake up and remember it. And, like, have more fun and feel great the next day. Yeah, feeling great in the morning is such a rare. It doesn't annoy you at all. Like when people get really super wasted?

54:30Yeah. And staying up all night with them. It just depends. Not with my family. I still like it because my brain is myelinated to know these people so well at this stage of drunkenness, too. You know, that I just fall right into some of the same conversations that we still need to have many, many years later. It doesn't annoy me that much. It definitely annoys me sometimes when people are a little too drunk. But then they just go to bed, and that's why they're disappointed. Let me ask you this. There's kind of a cliche, but I think there's some merit to it that girls fall harder, but guys fall longer.

55:05There's something about the pattern. We just had an expert on like women end more relationships than guys end relationships. That was interesting to me. Girls tend to break up with boys more than boys break up with girls. Is that because the girl has another option? I don't know what the explanation is. Okay. Where I'm going with this is we broke up. Well, I was just very disoriented for a while. I remember an exact moment where I was just very disoriented for a while. And I was shooting a movie in New York City, staying at the Maritime Hotel. And there's this great Italian restaurant downstairs and it's outside.

55:41And I was out there in New York City by myself and I was single. And even though we were in an open relationship, I obviously never felt single. Sure. I wouldn't have taken anyone on a date. And I just had this moment. We had been broken up for probably maybe a year at that point. And I remember going, oh, this is fun. I'm single in New York City and I work two days a week. And it kind of lifted a bit. But the part that didn't lift for me, and I'm curious if you relate at all, is what was hugely important to me always from the moment we broke up is I pray she meets someone that she falls in love with.

56:20I just thought about it a lot. And I was just so hopeful that you would find someone that you loved a lot again. And I just remember being so happy about Brad. No, Brad, no. Everyone's so happy about, I mean, I was so happy. So one of the hardest things about when we broke up was that I really had my head around, we were going to have kids. Yes. We had a house now. Yes, yes. Like, it was going to be this thing that I wanted. I was getting on in years, you know, like these were the things. Well, we had always said, oh, when you turn 30, we'll have a kid. So it was like around that time. I mean, I met Brad on my 30th birthday.

56:59But I think I was like 28 or 29 when we were like kind of bringing. Anyway, I was like, I'm going to find. And I kept dating people who. At civics? No. I was like trying to date people who like had some scratch. Or established. And were already established. And it just wasn't working. And I was like, I need to be in love. Like I have to be in love. I'm a real romantic. So when I met Brad and was like very much swept off my feet, never looked back. We went straight. You know, we always just say one, two, three, we're married and made it happen. I was like, no, so grateful. But I think it was so funny is I was really worried about losing the thing I wanted for my future was great family experience.

57:38Right. And also, I think that went into like losing your mom and feeling like, well, that's not, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I had the same thing in that I was a bit panicked because I was 32 when I met Kristen. I was thinking like, I'm supposed to be getting you pregnant right now. My timeline was like at 32, that was going to start. And I was like, well, I have to date someone for at least a couple of years before I have kids. I got to find out if they're really good. I got to live with them, all that. And I just remember feeling very pressured about that. One, I was dating before I met Kristen.

58:08I was like, if three weeks I thought this isn't like a huge, I'm like, oh, I was going through. Yes. And, you know, with the high bar. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Word. You guys were doing the same thing? Were you ever worried, like, boy, I hope he falls in love again? I have a hunch not. I mean, I don't think about it. Which I think is good. I didn't think about it much, but because I guess from my perspective, because your career was really sort of meteoric in that moment, and it also just felt like I couldn't keep up with that. So like I sometimes felt like, well, we didn't just break up because of XYZ.

58:45It was also I didn't know how to keep up with this new really big thing that was happening in your life. And I didn't really know where I fit. I was so bad at that. I was very bad at letting you feel like it was our money. No, it was not ours. And I don't think it was. It was definitely not. I remember like buying a dress for a premiere to go to one of your premieres and going to a thrift store and not feeling like I could really afford the dress that I wanted. Oh, no. Oh, man. Which is fine. It's not fine. It's regrettable. Is your girlfriend homeless? You should really get your assistant a nice dress.

59:26My assistant, that's my wife. Why are you in a tuxedo? No, but to me, the joke was always, I'm in really good company because you were dating all these, you know, hot celebrity gals. Oh, sure, once we broke up. So I was never thinking you were going to fall in love. You were freaking hanging out with, you know, these big times. I was like, okay, what's that? If anything, you might have thought, like, this guy might end up with Natalie Borman. No, I'm fine. I know, you're a real true dream. What do we got here? What number? I do. Oh, 45. So how many episodes are you guys doing of this? 12. 12? Uh-huh.

1:00:03Is it all old blasts from the past? This is the last one. Ooh, last but not least. Yeah, girl. Do you have Tim? We did have Tim Lufstedt. We had Nate, Kristen, Monica, Jackie Tone, Kristen's friend. Okay. From their new show to Tim Simons. You know him. Oh, no, you don't watch TV. I was going to say Veep. Really tall. Oh, yeah. Oh, I do know. I actually did watch Kristen's show. Did you like it? I did. Nobody wants this. Aaron and I watched it together in Texas. Okay. We were down in the bus going from grocery store to grocery store to meet people for Ted Seekers. Oh, yeah. And we put it on in that first kiss right down there on the sidewalk.

1:00:43We both got heated up. It happened. And I paused it. And I go, what do you think of that kiss? And Aaron's like, that was incredible. No, that kiss was famous. It's like maybe the best kiss I've ever seen in a movie. They did a really great acting. They did. Excellent acting. Acting. Really good acting. And Aaron goes, has she ever kissed you like that? And I go, no. And he goes, I don't know who I want to kiss me more. Yeah, I just want to be involved in that. Yeah, exactly. That's everyone.

1:01:22Get me in. You will watch the ones where like everyone's talking about it. You kind of have to watch it. I mean, I like Aaron and Sarah Foster. I had sort of followed them loosely on social media because a really good friend of mine worked for a company that did the whole favorite daughter thing. and really still like free stuff. Just like free koozies. Sure, sure. Sure, sure. Get your fucking koozie! I want a koozie! I want a key chain! What do you got? You gotta wash them. I don't know if you remember this, but Josh and I wrote a sketch about that. Yes, yes. We want a Frisbee! Like all the things the guys want.

1:02:02It was like, you gotta wash the machine back there! but I got a bunch of free t-shirts from that company for part of their campaign and I'd follow them so because I just sort of followed them and I'd never knew she was a writer producer Aaron Foster so when she did it and then I thought Kristen was in and I was like oh I gotta watch that yeah I'll give this a shot yeah I'll give this a shot and thank god because every single human being was talking about it I mean I actually watch everything Kristen's in and not in the weird but I really love The Good Place yes she just has good taste you know and she's insanely talented Yes.

1:02:35No, I know. So I only watch the best things and she's in all of the best things. Well, can I tell you the thing that I think that you guys have the most? It's just how I feel. Yeah. Which is I admire both of you so much. And I realize that's a rare thing to get in a partner is that I just admire you so much. I like who you are so much. That's so nice. You're just one of the greats of all time. I'm glad our lives worked out so well. Me too. We did a good job. Yeah, it all worked out. Well, I love you. I'm so happy you did this. Thank you. This was so fun. It was fun. And I think your short curly hair is very cute.

1:03:11It's so funny. It's so fun. It's so funny. I like it's my David Hasselhoff era, but I also look like, well, I kind of look like a Blanche and Dorothy. A Blanche and Dorothy. Dorothy.

1:03:34Thank you.