Mom's Car: Timothy Simons

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25:28I was asking while you were inside what your relationship was like after you had gotten sober, but he had not. Yeah, I'm sure he said. It barely started, but yeah, tell him. We stayed close in that anytime I was in Michigan, we would always hang out. But I was always aware he was definitely making a concession to be around me and be as straight as he was when he was around me. We stayed in love, but it limited like we could never go on a vacation together. There's just so many things we couldn't have done together because he would have just been busy hiding everything. But I never said anything, even though, of course, I was like, I know we both needed to get sober.

26:09I didn't say anything until there was a very clear moment where I was like, oh, he's going to be dead in a week. I've got a week or two to say to him, if you want to go to treatment, I'd love to send you. To my complete shock, he said, I'd love to go. Wow. The funniest story ever was I had booked him a place in Antigua. And of course, he needs a passport, which he doesn't have. And now I'm like, oh my God, he's got to stay alive for four or five days knowing he's going to treatment. For those five days, I was at home going like, I'm angry. That decision to go and the actual, like, I should have gone that moment.

26:47Not ideal to have a five-day window before you go to treatment. You know you're going to treatment. You're going in every day to, like, the fucking passport office. Guess what I didn't do for five days? Sleep. Oh, yeah. I would be like, shit, I never shot dope. Maybe this is time to shoot dope. Okay, so back to the Ritalin. Oh, yeah. So it worked really, really well. Yes. Were you in charge of your prescription or do your parents give it to you? Because I know I would have ended up doing three and then I would have told them like, I'm out. I think this was at a period of time. I would have been between zero and 10 years old when the just say no to drugs Nancy Reagan thing would have been happening.

27:30Yeah. So there was that general vibe out in the world. And not that there weren't drugs where I grew up, but this like hippie high school that my parents helped start had this thing called Teen Issues Week. And Teen Issues Week was everybody took a week off and they had everything that you can learn about jazz music to this is like a panel of gay students who are out. It's like the mid-90s. They also had people who had been in jail coming to talk about their experiences. It wasn't necessarily scared straight. It wasn't bad. It was just, this is what it is like. And if you have questions about that, I do feel bad that we all really laughed at this, but one former heroin addict came in to do, it was called The Dance of Addiction.

28:12Oh, yeah. It's already a rough title for it. I mean, it was an interpretive dance about his experience with addiction. An interpretive done in the round of like a bunch of eighth and ninth graders. Fucking very well-intentioned, but this sounds insane. Very well-intentioned. also incredibly insane. And I know we were all giggling. Yeah. But I think that what that whole week did was give you sort of a long view of your life, even if I wasn't able to really internalize it. And I think that is all to say that I don't think I was ever going to take more than I was supposed to. I think I was a rule follower in that way because I was so nervous.

28:54This is also like AIDS crisis time. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it was like, sex is going to kill you and drugs are going to kill you. And then when I finally did get into drugs, I was always like, I'm not going to do any of the heavy shit. I like hallucinogens. Yeah, no one's ever died. No one's ever died. It's all fine. Even when I was in college, I'm not sure what the statute of limitations on this is. But definitely if I was out of money on a Friday, I would sell some of it on the floor. And then I'd be like, oh, cool. I have$100. Yeah. And did you suffer at all when you didn't have the medication?

29:25I would feel a little out of control. I was like, I'm annoying everyone around me. I know I'm a lot, but I can really feel that I'm bugging the people that are around me. And that's when I was like, okay, let's get it back together. I definitely relate to that feeling. Not the other people, I relate to being the person that's way too much. It's a thing, I mean, maybe that's another comorbidity. This is really hard to govern it because it's very appealing until it's not. Yeah. It's a very fine line to be walking, the kind of loud, provocative energy. Yeah, and like a lot of times people are like, oh my God, this is so great.

30:01This guy's so fun. And then that extra 5%, they're like, fuck, I just wish this guy wasn't here or I wish he'd be normal for one second. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But no, even during that, I never crushed and snorted it. And I was like, yeah, it's just not for me. I'm fine. Definitely had a positive effect. And are you still on it? I took a long time off. A lot of it having to do with whenever I was 22 or whatever, I was not on my parents' insurance anymore. And they're$100 on the street, as you found out. Yeah. And so I was like, all right, I'm going to try to like sort of self-manage this. But both of my kids have ADHD and it presents itself in very different ways.

30:36I was like, oh, all the conversations I'm having right now, I know are happening with me. So I actually got back on it like three or four years ago. And you're much happier, I assume. Much happier. and I definitely feel like a little bit more calm and a little bit more able to manage the things that I need to manage. Whereas before I would just be like, I just lost this whole day. Yeah, what happened? Yeah. It's interesting too that it manifests different in women than men. Because like Kristen's pretty certain she has it. And if you read the symptoms for women, it's very interesting. They do it differently.

31:10So Kristen didn't present that way to me, but as I've learned about it, I'm like, yeah, I could co-sign on this. And we're probably both that way And probably our oldest is that way. Okay, this is very exciting for me to finally get to ask you this because you are a part of what I think might be an apocryphal story. You came to LA and I want to know the whole version, but at some point you were an assistant to a casting director. Now, is this part of life? You were reading other people for Veep? No. Is that someone else? That might be somebody else, but I can see where these stories would cross over because I was running camera for commercial casting places.

31:48Okay. And it was that job that led to a job that got me into Alison Jones' office where I was able to audition for me. Okay, so yeah, walk me through that. First of all, how old were you when you moved to LA? I did that, people would say, in the entirely wrong way. I was 30 when I moved here. Ideal time. Ideal time. You know what? Fresh face. Hollywood loves. is people who are 30 with almost no experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They love that. I had never been to Los Angeles before. I knew when I moved to Chicago that I would go to either coast eventually. And I was just like, fuck it. I'm going to L.A.

32:28Like, if you want to work at a steel mill, you move to Pittsburgh. Yeah, right, right, right. In the 70s. In the 70s, yeah. You want to build cars, move to Detroit in the 70s. In the 70s. Had you done any IO or Second City classes or anything while you were in Chicago? I took one Second City class because my agent in Chicago was like, if you don't have Second City on your resume, I can't fucking do anything. Right. There's nothing to be done. And so I begrudgingly took one. And it was very fun. And I don't know if we have this in common, but a little bit of like a contrarian fucker thing. Of being like, oh, you want me to do that?

33:05Then I'm not going to do it. So I didn't really need it. Is that a comorbidity? Yeah, probably. I just don't want to do anything anyone else is doing. Yeah. It's such a terrible quality. Aaron and I are the same way. We love punk rock. Anything sort of oppositional, I was kind of drawn that way. But when I got out here, I still wanted to do something. I didn't want to lose being in front of an audience or live theater or anything like that. So I started doing UCB out here when nobody was asking. Started taking classes there. At 30? At 30. The first time I ever viewed Los Angeles was like getting off of the five, driving down Los Feliz Boulevard.

33:40Yeah. We had gotten married like three weeks previous in a moving van. God bless your wife. Yeah. Oh, my God. God bless her. Who also had lived in Los Angeles when she was younger for a very short time or lived in California and kind of didn't like it. Sure. And was also 2008 when the financial markets crashed. Oh, right, right. Yeah, terrifying time. So she's a public school teacher. she had gotten a job at a school. Talk about marrying your mom. Yeah.

34:10Please don't draw this. We have the same name. Please don't draw too many of these parallels over the course of this drive. But then eventually found a job running these commercial casting sessions. I would get hired. Casting director would come in and be like, all right, they pick up the tide, they look at it. They smile like, oh, good product. And then they leave. Yeah. And then all day I was directing people to do that. That's an interesting way to enter this whole thing. I almost think that's a gift. It 100 % was. Because I found once I was directing and I was on the other side of the casting process, I was like, shit, I wish I knew all this stuff the whole time I was going and auditioning.

34:42Seeing it from that side, usually it's not about you. No. Also then just kind of all day seeing on camera what read as funnier than other things. What is the very small thing that that person did that just made it a little bit better? Then that kind of led to a job where I was running these casting sessions. But in this case, it was like, all right, the director wants you to improvise with these kids as they're coming in. And so I started doing that, and they just liked the stuff that I was throwing out. And somewhere in the callbacks, the director got up and was like, just go in there, and I'm going to move the camera.

35:17He's like, because I'm writing you into this. Oh, my God. And so that was like the first commercial job that I got. And then that led to like a little bit of a run of, oh, shit, like I'm actually working in commercials a little bit, Getting insurance, doing all of that. And then that led to this one commercial where I played Abe Lincoln, that a friend of mine from Chicago, I was a bartender at the House of Blues. Nice. Oh, that's fun. That sounds really fun. It was really fun. His roommate out here was Alison Jones' casting associate. And when I had first moved out, we met, we hung out. He was like, oh yeah, you know, if you ever do something that I can show Alison, let me know.

35:56Yeah, oh, that's so generous. And it was. So he showed her that and she was like, oh, he's funny. Let's call him in. And I went in like three or four times. Off the Abe Lincoln commercial. Wow. Yeah. And she's so wonderful, right? We just interviewed her. She really is. Nobody has ever had an eye for talent like her. And it kind of feels like everybody that has become big in comedy in the last 15, 20 years, she's the one that's talent. She's like the West Coast Lorne Michaels. Yes. She's really special. But when you auditioned for Veepe, other than the stuff in Chicago, So in L.A., you'd only done the commercial?

36:29Only really done commercials. Veep was the first television show. That's an amazing story. That's incredible. So yeah, there was a little part of me, you know, my agent in Chicago, who was like, you're making the dumbest decision of your life. You're moving out there without a job. You don't know anyone. You've never been there. You're not good. You're not good. You're too tall. I've been trying to tell. You measured yourself? Too old, too tall. I remember his advice. I was like, hey, do you have any advice? I'm moving to L.A. His advice was like moisturize. I was like, I don't know what to do with that, man.

37:01It is a dry climate. Yeah, it's a dry climate. Compared to Chicago. Well, this is the point where I fillet you and bring you out of the closet. So memorable. I mean, there's like a handful of people I can remember from almost the first scene I saw him in going like, oh my God, this person's fucking hysterical. Watching Veep, I was like, well, who is this guy? What is he? Like on the main stage at UCB? Is he a groundling? What's the story? This guy's fucking right out of the gates. Brilliant. What is it? 80-28? My money is on this right here. Yeah, 80-24. I'll go up these stairs. Yeah, girl. You did it.

37:36We did it. Had people been let your Dax shepherd? That was our hopes. Yeah. But no. 90 % of the time it says leave it at the door because no one wants to fucking talk to their delivery driver. And the few times it has been a handoff. Actually, there was one person who looked very confused. You could totally recognize them, but couldn't make sense out of it. And then the last time we went out was with Kristen. So, of course, there's a handoff. And then Dags was like, oh, Kristen's in here, too. And they went crazy. But no, most of the time, you just leave it at the door. You just leave it at the door, and they don't even know.

38:11Sure, you know. They look at you through the window and wait for you to turn around. Yeah, they can't wait for you. Which I relate to. It's like something so embarrassing. I feel like I don't deserve it. I'm not better than you. Exactly. I thank you very much for the compliment. I will say that while not taking any abilities that I might have out of the equation, I think I found myself in the best possible circumstance for me to contribute in that. Not having a lot of experience, it being a very non-traditional show and that we had these long rehearsal processes, I don't know that I would have been set up for success in a situation that was a little bit more like, okay, this is your first day of shooting.

38:53I was learning everything as we went. Yeah. Yeah. And like, it's going to be kind of embarrassing. I didn't know how to read a call sheet. I thought the second AD was my boss. She came by in my fitting and was like, oh, I like your glasses, but they were just my regular glasses. Yeah. And I was like, do I have to wear my glasses in the show now? But I was in a situation in which before we started filming the pilot, we had like six days of rehearsal in this hotel in Baltimore that we were all staying in. And I was also a part of a group of people who were incredibly supportive. It very much had like an ensemble feel.

39:28And so even though, yeah, I was nervous to be in the room with, I had just gone through UCB, so Matt Walsh is in there. Yeah, the godfather. And huge Arrested Development fan, Tony Hale's in there. And like Julia Louis-Dreyfus is an icon. Even though I was nervous, especially top down, both Julia and Armando made it a situation where they forgave me for my green moments and also allowed me to be a contributor. And I don't know that if I had just been like cast on a show and shown up, that I would have ultimately built up the confidence to be able to participate. Yeah, I have the exact same story.

40:06Well, first of all, I think that's generous and I believe you, but also very intimidating. As much as, yes, they did turn out to be so helpful and supportive. Also, it's a big league to step into. I could see that crushing someone. There's a lot of experience you're stepping into. I will also say that I was lucky in that when I was going through the audition process, and I didn't really know a lot of arms work, but as I, through the audition process, went back to start watching it, I did have some confidence in that I was like, oh, this is exactly the shit that I feel like I'm good at. Not that I know a lot, but I feel like I know this world.

40:40Even if it takes me a little while, I feel like I'm in a wheelhouse that I kind of understand. Yeah, it's not abstract to you. Yeah. Punk'd was the same way. I couldn't really act. You couldn't give me a scene. I wouldn't have been that good. But the fact that I got eight episodes of improv-ing, which I could do, led people to believe that I could act and read scenes and stuff. And I remember, and I'm so grateful because I went from eight years of auditioning, nothing. Then this show Punk'd. I had just gotten kicked out of the Groundlings as well. Really? Yes, out of The Sunday Company. And so I get this show and it airs.

41:13And of course I'm like, and now what? It's a very big show and people know my name. That's really cool. And thank God this guy, Steve Brill, he thought I was so funny on the show and he was casting without a paddle. And I went and auditioned and I wasn't very good. And he was like, I know you can do this and we're going to get you this. So I'm going to bring Seth in, who's a great improver, Seth Green. and you guys are just going to improv your audition. And I'm going to send that to the head of the studio. She'll have no idea what scenes are real and what aren't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got to do that.

41:44I just got to improv with Seth for a half hour and he cut together a thing. And had it not been for him, I don't know how I really end up as well. Like the combination of, yeah, getting to do exactly what I know how to do on punks because you couldn't come in and give me a no. Yeah. And then this guy, Steve Brill, who believed in me so much. You're naturally funny. And eventually, like there is a thing about this industry that I think is cool, you can work with that. Right, right. Like, you get technically better as you go along. Yes, yes. But, like, you can't be technically good and then become funny.

42:16Yes, you're right. There's no learning curve for that, or at least I don't think much. I kind of feel like without a paddle shot in Chicago or in the Midwest, didn't it? No, New Zealand. Oh, it did? Which, imagine that. Eight years of no work, and then my first job is go to New Zealand for four months. Oh, my God. Go canoeing, jump off waterfalls, ride fucking ATVs, work with Burt Reynolds. I couldn't. He's like, isn't it going to get even better than this? Yeah. It couldn't. There's just no way. Like, when I found out they had cast Burt Reynolds, who's my childhood idol, I was like, I'm going to die in the middle of this movie or something.

42:53This is all too good to be true. I feel like I may have auditioned for something in that movie out of Chicago. Are you sure it wasn't Let's Go to Prison? It was Let's Go to Prison. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was Let's Go to Prison. Yeah, because we shot that there, and it did have, Koechner was in it, who was I.O. There was a lot of Chicago folks, because Odenkirk directed it. The craziest cast scene in that was Michael Shannon. Oh, yeah. How good was he? Oh, my God. I mean, I guess it was obvious when I watched him. I just remember thinking, this guy deserves to be in a much better movie. He truly does, and that was true.

43:27He then went on to do, like, Road to Perdition. This is the thing that I kind of love, because I have always been somebody who really loves a community, loves an ensemble. I love the small world nature of the business, even throughout the entire country. Yeah. And that the day that I moved to Chicago, dropped my bags at the house, and they were like, we have tickets to see a show at a Red Orchid, which was one of Michael Shannon's theater companies. Oh, right. He was in it. No. Hangs dong at the end of the play. Hangs dong. Full dick. Oh, wow. Big dick. Full dick. Small theater. Yeah. Yeah, he's a big guy.

44:01Did he have a nice hog? Yeah, big, yeah, good dick. Good looking. Thick one. Good stage dick. Like his voice. And not timid. Huge balls. You could tell he was used to it because it wasn't like nervous that it's out there. And then like 45 minutes later after hanging out at the bar, I was in the back seat of a convertible that Michael Shannon was in the passenger seat of and Michael Shannon's childhood therapist was driving. Are you, Barney? That's impossible. It's like that is like, We were like going to a bar or a house party just somewhere in Chicago. And it is my first night in town. Oh, yeah.

44:38And that is like that thing that I love about the small world versions of this. Just because I went and saw a play when I was a kid, I got to see David Harbour. And just because I showed up in Chicago one day, I met Michael Shannon. Yeah. Okay, so here's a question for you. Okay. Veep, in my mind, was a very big show. how does the reaction to that compare to nobody wants this? Kristen's never been in anything other than Frozen that would compare to the level of viewership and attention and cultural phenomena that you had to like give a numeric value to them. Are they the same? When I go to the airport, I will be recognized previously once.

45:16Right after the show came out, I was going back and forth. I was working on a job in Vancouver, right? When nobody wants this came out. and I got recognized. People stopped me to say hi minimum 10 times. Yeah, yeah. And even there was one time where like the Canadian TSA agents, she looked at my passport, looked at me and went, this is the guy from the show. I was just, literally she had just told him to watch the show. Right. I don't think it really compares like in actual numbers. This is a brand new experience. Yeah, well, I remember with Kristen for 18, years and she's obviously very famous but the last time we were in New York, which is generally a city where people won't stop you, literally every third person on the street shit their pants and I go, hun, you're fucking too famous to be out in New York with.

46:07This is crazy. We can't get anywhere. This show is amazing. We can't stand in line to get popcorn. So many people have seen the show and they've responded to it and I'm so thankful for that. It is also like you are constantly reminded that whatever tier you're on there are subsections of that tier. And it is people very confidently getting your name wrong. And you're like, oh. At the fucking after SAGS party, I had a full three-minute conversation with someone who thought I was the guy from Baby Reindeer. Oh my God. And in the first 10 seconds. That's a bad mix up. And also, I don't have an English accent.

46:46No, you're not Scottish. He's a normal height. I mean, I guess I had a beard at the time, but very physically different people, different accents. But the first thing was a selfie. And then it was a conversation about how much the show meant to her. And she was really looking forward to the things that I do next. And you're rightly assuming she's talking about nobody wants to. No, within the first 15 seconds, I knew that she was talking about a reindeer. But I was just like, I just can't pull the rug out from under this person. Right, you don't want to ruin their experience. And also, I felt like it would make them feel embarrassed.

47:20Yeah. What if you swapped to a Scottish accent mid-conversation? In that situation, do you think you do that? Do you let it ride? Yeah, yeah. They'll say they love Garden State. Can I get a picture for sure? And Zach has done the same a bunch of times with me. Do you remember how popular that face swapping app was? Yes. It was all the rage and we happened to be somewhere together and we did it. And I can tell you, it's a mind-melty photo. Whose face went on whose face? I'm kind of like putting a judgment on myself. Is that like a good behavior? Is that codependency that I can't hurt somebody? Or is this a kindness that I didn't embarrass her in that moment?

48:01I think the latter. Because I think from your own selfish point of view, it's much easier to just do the thing than to sit there and explain. And then have, oh yeah, we look alike. You're being very humble, I think, by doing it. Now you've got to explain, no, I'm on a show. You kind of have got to give your resume. Yeah. Which is kind of humiliating. It's just the whole thing would be easier and everyone would be happy. It's a very utilitarian outcome, I think. It's like maximum happiness for both people involved. I think that's the ethical thing to do. I'm not saying this about the guy from Baby Reindeer because I do think he's an odd-looking guy, but I think he's a good-looking guy.

48:33Yeah, yeah. Have you ever had this happen to you? I have learned to never tell another actor that they look like another actor. The amount of times that I've been told I look like somebody, if I don't know them, I look them up. And I'm like, oh, that person looks like a fucking melted candle. You're always bummed. You're always bummed. You can have a simultaneous terrible opinion of how you look and feel better looking than other people. I don't understand it because I have a very low opinion of how I look. But anytime I'm told I look at Bristol, I'm like, Jesus, it's that bad? Man, one time there were like a bunch of people, and I'm not on Twitter anymore.

49:05There were like a bunch of people being like, there should be a biopic about the guy who played like one of the bad underlings in the Superman movies. You know who I'm talking about? He's floating in the prism at the beginning. Yes. Yes. Like that guy. And I was like. Who kind of looks like Justin Theroux. But Justin Theroux is gorgeous. Or no, that's the other guy. One guy has a beard. I know exactly who you're talking about. Yes. And it's like, oh, okay. Yeah. God, I hope that guy's dead and doesn't listen to this. Look, it's universal. I have a fucking friend. I shouldn't say fucking. I adore this friend.

49:38Aaron and I are both friends with him. And he's like, oh, my God. If I get fucking told I look like Zac Efron one more time. And I go, boo-hoo. Oh my God, I would fucking. Oh, my child. Oh, look at that. I love this child. Hi, child. Mom's car. Hi. We're just finishing an episode. I know your face. Tim from Mom's show. From No More Sets. Oh, I got a little jump. It was Mom, right? Yes. Yes. Okay, I love you. Oh, I've never seen her walking home from school. That's so fucking adorable. Tim, this was a party. You're such a good guy. This was so fun. I'm so glad this worked out. It's fun, right? To drive around a car and shoot the shit.