Sharon Horgan

21:54Although I think I'm different now. Like I get much more joy out of the writing. But back then, getting the opportunity to be on TV and to be the lead in something, I found it a huge buzz. And also, it was my first time taking something from the page to the screen and realizing that it can be great on the page and you can make it better and you can exceed your expectations. And also, it's like six weeks. When we make sitcoms, it's six episodes. Everyone's almost dedicated to not making any money. Yeah, exactly. How can we not break even on this thing? Let's do six so we never amortize the cause.

22:30No one makes a bean. God, I was so green back then. I did enjoy it then. And I did get a lot of pride in pulling it off. But yeah, definitely less so now. Is the next big thing for you, that's obviously like a huge moment for you, that show. Is Catastrophe the next kind of big? Yeah, a lot of pilots in between. A lot of failed pilots. That you had written? I had written. Okay. And then I made this mental UK show called Dead Boss that we only did one season of because it didn't really work. It was funny. You know, it's that thing. I think after pulling, not that that many people saw it or that people were waiting with bated breath to see what I do next, but there was an expectation.

23:13It did well. Yeah, they would assume your next one's going to be even better. Yeah, exactly. Oh, that was her first thing. I made this really nutty show set in a women's prison about this woman who's accused of killing her boss. It was bonkers. Not many people liked it. There was lots of funny stuff in it. Yeah, yeah. It just didn't gel in the way you would hope. So that and a lot of pilots It's over here. I was doing that for years. Yeah, so when you're there, being London, and you're having some success, I would be like, well, I'm going to go over there or everyone's getting rich here. Over there to the US.

23:44Yeah, but I had this weird thing where I was like, I'll go over there now. And my agents would be like, no, it's not time for you to go over there. I'm like, why are you sure? I think I'm ready. People seem to be going over there. So it took a while. I don't know why. Like, I must talk to my, I've still got the same agent because I'm just a creature of habit. And very loyal per the Monday night dinner. Yeah, I hope so. But I must ask him, it was a real like kind of no, you're not ready. And then finally, when I did go over, I think I made about four pilots in a row, maybe five. Wow. Do you start getting crazy discouraged?

24:18Like, man, I don't know if I'm going to be able to. No, I was kind of, you know, the weird thing that I noticed that's very different from UK is that people could happily make a great living never getting anything made here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My agents over here were setting me up with the writers where I go, so what are you working on at the moment? They were like, I haven't had anything produced in five years. But there was this sense of it was successful if you were getting pilot scripts commissioned. Whereas I was like, what the fuck? You can not make anything. I bet the amount they buy here versus make, I bet that ratio is way different than it is in London.

24:52Like I have sold many TV shows and none of them have been produced. I think it's changing though. I think that's what people are starting to feel. I think so, yeah. It's really hard for writers right now because I think they're not doing that. Yeah, they shut off that. I mean, when you think about all those pilots that have never been seen, it just seems extraordinary. Thousands of hours of television that no one's seen. They probably cost what it takes to make a UK TV series. Yeah, a lot of people have a really good pilot quote as an actor. They'll make$150, then get by for the year, and the next year they do another pilot, and it can just be this weird little trap.

25:26Yeah, but even though I met Rob on Twitter, because I was coming over to make the pilots, we did end up hanging out in real life. And when I was making one of the pilots, we were sort of moonlighting on catastrophe on the side. Yeah, so talk about meaning, Rob, because I too was just on Twitter and discovered him. And still, hands down, of all the tweeters, he was the number one funniest on Twitter ever. Just the funniest. Rob Delaney. Ridiculously. crying laughing. 2018 he had some weird tweet. I don't even know what it was about. And then he just hashtagged Coney2012. It was like, who thinks that hashtag Coney2012 six years later?

26:10Yeah, it's great. It was just so funny. Everything's so fucking funny. Yeah. He's got such an amazingly specific brain. And right away, you guys thought we should try to create something together? No, it was more of a sort of mutual, like I think you're really funny. And then he had seen pulling and not that many people had. I mean, it was on over here, but he had to do a quest. You would have needed AI to locate it. But he found it. Then we ended up doing this little sketch. It was kind of fun. And then because of his Twitter fame, he got commissioned by the BBC to write a sitcom. And then he got in touch with me and said, do you want to write it with me?

26:43So that's how it happened. It's a spectacular show. Thank you. Yeah. Did you feel very proud of it? Yeah, I did. It was another one of those things where we had a pretty good feeling that it was going to work at the script stage. But when we started doing it together, it was a nice feeling of relief that we bounced so well off each other as performers as well as writers. It's such an unknown. You play the chemistry lottery. Yeah, that's it completely. But I mean, I loved making that show. And then post-catastrophe, now more doors open, I'm assuming, because your next thing's Divorce, which is written for someone else, is written for Sarah Jessica Parker.

27:18Yeah, yeah. So now we're like in another realm where we might just also create shows. Yes. Was that scary or exciting? Or did you feel like, I don't really want to write something I'm not going to be in? I loved the idea of writing for other people. It felt exciting. You're incredibly invested in it, but at the same time, you get to sort of step back a bit and have more of a bird's eye view. I mean, to me, that felt like the best case scenario to create something that then I could just watch it do its thing. Did you pitch Sarah the idea or were you approached like, Sarah wants to do this? Actually, I pitched this other show idea to HBO, which ended up being Shining Veil, made for Courtney Cox.

28:01So we were about to start making that, or at least developing it. And then they said, Sarah Jessica's looking to make a new show and she's looking for a writer. And she had had a script that she didn't really feel was working. So we just met up, got a good notion of what it was she wanted to make. Right, right, right. And the kind of thing she wanted to talk about, that death of a long-term relationship kind of thing. And I came up with this divorce sort of setting for it. Were you post-divorce or about to start that process? How did it parallel your life? I wasn't. I was still in my marriage.

28:32But I guess maybe... Some of the scenes. I'm sure you had a lot of fodder of things that are annoying at this point, 14 years in. I'm sure you had a lot of like... Oh, yeah, of course. It's like Amy Gravitz said, anyone who's married knows what it feels like to want to be divorced. Right, right, right, right. But my friend had just very recently gone through one. So through talking to her and just getting the detail from her, I could talk about relationships until the cows come home. But the actual mechanics of going through something. I could write a divorce encyclopedia now. But back then, no, I just had some feelings.

29:09You think it made you get a divorce? Yeah, like I don't want to make it too big of a stretch. Yeah, were you like living in this thought experiment of divorce? No, not at all. I mean, thank God for my family at that point. My ex was traveling back and forth with my kids. It was a tricky time for us as a family, but we were very much all in it together. Right. And that sort of overlapped with catastrophe. So it was just a little bit too much. Bad time management, I would say. Yeah. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

29:50Was it hard for you? Yeah. What kind of feelings did you have? Like, I'm failing? Oh, yeah. Family shame? All of it. Terrible. Missed a birthday. Got back for the party, but missed the actual birthday. And my daughter's 21 now. Oh, boy. And she still talks about it. Sure. What else is she going to talk about? She needs something. We all need something. Yeah, we need something. I play this game all the time. Our kids are 10 and 12, and I'm like, what's going to be the thing I'm going to hear about the rest of my life? Is it that target argument? Because they have to have something. I've seen so many mothers do it now.

30:28And having done it myself, remembering that awful push-pull of I'm kind of away from the family unit for way too long for it to be healthy. I kind of feel like with kids, it's a little bit, for the most part, apart from my daughter remembering the birthday thing, it's a little bit like Water Overduck's back, a little bit. Whereas I think for us, we kind of... Self-flagellate. Yeah, and there's like still trauma there. I still think about it. Is it fair to say most of the women, my wife included, that I know that are in this business that have kids, it's like, you feel guilty at work because you're not with your kids.

31:03And then when you're with your kids, you feel guilty you're not working because that's also your passion. It's like there's no real sweet spot. Yeah, that's it. You also have that weird thing. I can only assume it's how people feel when they get out of prison. You sort of forget how to operate in normal life. You're sort of isolated from everything else. And all you do is get up. Someone picks you up in a car, feeds you, takes you to set, feeds you some more. All you're doing is sort of working and being cosseted and then put back in a car and then brought home. And when you get back into your family environment, you just don't know how to operate for a while.

31:39You can also get tricked into thinking that that job is the most important thing in the world. Yeah, and that you are. And that you are, yes. Because that's how you're being treated. Objectively, you are important to that world. It's not even like an ego explosion. No, that's true. The lead actors are very important to the project. The writers are very important to the project. To the project, but I think because it is so isolated and compartmentalized and it's every day and you're in a hotel and then you go, you can think that the project is the most important thing in the world. Sure, sure, sure.

32:10You almost have to for it to be good. Right. You have to buy in a little bit. and then that's complicated when you leave it. Yeah, and then you get taken down numerous pegs by your family. And you just have to deal with it and get back on the horse. Okay, Bad Sisters, this is, I'm imagining your first like American hit. America's Gone Bat Shit. Yeah. A lot of people loved Catastrophe, but it was definitely like culty. Oh, yeah. But Bad Sisters is this epic thing. I watched it. It looked interesting. I saw it. Oh, thank you. And then I'm probably having the same thing other people are, where it's like, oh, yeah, I love Bad Sister.

32:50Oh, yeah. Oh, you know, the one sister created the show. I'm like, oh, she created the show. And this is when I find out that you've created all these shows and that you're writing it. And then it's just so impressive. Very bowled over by it. It was a Danish show? Belgian. I had seen it. It was brought to me to adapt it. So I watched pilot episodes and really fell in love with it. Is it tonally the same? No, it's completely different. Is that one darker? It's really hard to explain, but it's just got that Scandi kind of thing where it's much more crazy. You know, so the murders are kind of crazy and there's Chinese mafia in it and hitmen and people end up being murdered and then ending up in dog food canning factories.

33:34Right, right. It was quite extreme, but it was really amazing totally because the sisters were really grounded. Oh, interesting. But it was just, there was a different approach, even to the really brutal, serious stuff in it. It was just a different approach. Like Eva's rape. In the original version, she's having sex with her boyfriend. He needs to take a break. He goes downstairs to the fridge to have something to eat and to cool down. And while she's waiting for him, still on all fours, the break comes up and gets in there. So they totally got away with it, because she's brilliant, the lady who created it, Malin.

34:16And the actors are amazing. Even in our version, there was a real line to tread in terms of when you're going to be funny and when you're going to destroy people, you know? I'd argue it's the hardest tone to pull off in anything. It was when you're bouncing back and forth. Yeah, it's scary when you're doing it because you're like, they could maul us to death. If it goes wrong, it'll go spectacularly wrong. You need to just sort of take a punt and then just try and hold fast. Yeah. Were you shocked with how loved it was? Yeah, of course. Did you write the roles with the actors in mind or did you write the whole thing and then cast it?

34:52I wrote the pilot and then cast it after that. Ireland's a small country. And also it had to be very specific in terms of the ages and for us to seem like we are in the same family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just had to pray that those girls that I asked to do it were available. They were it. Yeah. And I'd worked with a lot of them before, so I kind of knew. And as soon as I started writing the series, I had their voices in my head. But when it came to like the second season, it was just so much easier because I'd spent all that time with them. And I knew how one character would respond to another. And I knew what the dynamics were that worked within the family.

35:30And so I found the second season easier. But... More challenging story-wise, probably. Although the first one had huge challenges because even though we had the template, in rethinking it, it sort of threw all the pieces out of whack and then it's got two timelines and I found that really hard. How do I say his name? Is it Claes? Claes Bang, yeah. Holy shit. So that was the first time I'd ever seen him. Oh, really? Because I'd seen the square. He's so good. I mean, he's so repugnant. The way he calls her mama, mammy. Mammy. Oh, he's so gross. He's so gross, yeah. His most hateable character ever.

36:09He was perfect. And he's like slimy. He's terrible. God bless him. He just was like, yeah, I'm going to be as unlikable as humanly possible. Did he have any vanity? What was the process? He had to get his head around being that odious. And it was a bit of a challenge. He didn't love being hateful and hated every day. Yeah, yeah. But then there was this other side to him that reveled in it. It's fun as an actor. And he really went for it. But it is a thing where every scene you're in, you're just being an absolute piece of shit. But we had to just make sure that there were moments where you could see who he used to be.

36:50How anyone fell in love with him in the first place. Why does his child love him? Exactly. So we needed to see him be a good dad sometimes. And we needed to see him be vulnerable or feel like a stranger in this Irish family. and it really helped that he was not an Irish man. How did you just come across him? You had seen Square? I had seen The Square, but no, it was Nina Gold, our casting agent. It was her idea. And then I rewrote it kind of for him to lean into that. We gave him a Swedish mother and it ended up sort of affecting a lot of the scripts, but in a way that was only positive. And it's amazing when that happens, when you have something in your mind and you do something completely different and then you go, this has given us so much more.

37:36What's your explanation of the mass appeal of it? The time it came along, I think at that time, everyone really needed the catharsis of hating an awful white religious bigot. We were all on board for it. And also that thing of, despite the thriller of it and the caper, it is about family. Nobody would ever watch that and not want to be one of the sisters. I would argue that's like a huge element of it. It's just, again, you guys hit the chemistry lottery. There's such a familiarity and a fun, and everyone's so different. Yeah. And it all works cohesively. Yeah, we got very lucky. I love those girls.

38:16One of them is the reason why I am this hungover today. Was it Eve? It was Eve. Yeah, yeah, good guess. That was my next question. Did you know Eve before? I didn't. And did you know she was Bono's daughter before you cast her? That was Nina Gold. But once she mentioned her, then I remembered other work that I'd seen her in and was like, she's amazing. But I just didn't know. She'd never done any sort of, I mean, it's a drama, but there's a lot of comedy in it. So in actual fact, she came in and did a casting and she filmed the casting in Vau's front room of his castle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

38:53But she was so brilliant in the casting, so clearly funny in that way where you're not trying to push the comedy. She was just naturally funny. I wish this were not the case, but it just truly is, which is like, if I know that's Bono's daughter, it's in the mix. I'm aware of it, right? And I think the worst guess I would have for Bono's daughter is that she's going to be like perfect in plastic and spoiled. No. The contradiction of what potentially you're afraid could be the daughter of someone uber famous and rich. Yeah. She's in fact quite the opposite, at least on screen. Oh, and in person as well.

39:34Yeah, just in this delightful way where you're like, it's almost even cooler because she seems so fucking real. I know. She's very sweet, incredibly fun. Bad influence. Like, takes the work seriously. A bad influence. A bad influence. Well, we all are bad influences on each other. But no, it was just an immediate family. We just got really lucky. We were enjoying ourselves, but at the same time, we had to work as an ensemble, but they all had to be able to sort of carry their own episode, you know, because there would always be an episode that really focused on them. And all of them are just incredible actors, incredibly watchable.

40:08And you just instantly care about them. Were you ever at any point in it kind of wishing, I wish I didn't have this dual role where I'm also their boss is a little bit like I just want to be in the riffraff crew and kind of bitch about the production. Oh, my God. I'm so paranoid. I am walking around in a constant state of fear that anything, you know, I'm always worrying that people aren't happy or have an opinion about how I'm doing things. I always just wanted to be with them, hanging out and chatting instead of on my laptop, having a nervous breakdown about reshoots or edits or whatever else goes along with it.

40:49It's a pain. You just want to play. You want to enjoy it. There's a real feeling of pride and accomplishment that comes from seeing something you wrote come to life. But you do miss out on a lot of really good gossip. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You won a Peabody for it. Yeah. Did you even know what a Peabody was before you won it? Yes, I did. You did? Yeah, yeah. We covet the Peabody Award. We actively campaign to win a Peabody Award. Yeah, it's great. I'm not terribly sure what it is, but I really want that award. It means something good, doesn't it? Yeah. What does it mean? It's prestigious. It's prestigious.

41:26It is prestigious. But what is it? It's like it's not an acting award. It's just like a culture award? It is, actually. If you've campaigned for them, you know, you kind of have to do this whole statement. By campaign, I write in my Instagram comments. Please give me one of these. Well, you have to submit your program for it, obviously. And then you kind of talk about what it is that you were wanting to achieve with the show. And I don't know, but I think for the most part, there has to be an aspect to it that makes it socially important, relevant. Yeah. Across the board, really, in the storytelling and the casting, in the diversity and the amount of female directors you used, why you chose to tell that story, representation.

42:05It's a big sort of all-round, and it's about how successful the storytelling was, of course, but it's a bit of a... This is important work. Success with intention. I guess it's not just about the entertainment. I love that it's just properly entertaining, but I like the fact that it's saying something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox. We interviewed Amanda Knox. Did you? Yes. I found her to be so brilliant. I could barely stand it. Super bright. She's a great girl. When we were talking earlier about being a mother and like a father as well sometimes, but for the most part, it's harder to be a mother and leave your kids behind.

42:44but KJ Steinberg who created the show because we shot it in Rome, in Budapest, in Vancouver, all over Italy and she had to leave her kids at home and do this. I'm so glad for her. It's taken quite a big swing, isn't it? Like stylistically, it's a terrible, tragic story but there's also a lot of absurdity in what happened in the situation and KJ was not scared to show that some of these things were so absurd they were funny. Yeah. And the stylistic approach of this sort of Amelie-esque kind of filming style at the beginning. And all those things are big swings. Yeah, it's very ambitious. Yeah. And the fact that she pulled it off, I'm just delighted for her because it was really hard for her being that far away from her family.

43:31And dealing with something that wasn't easy. You know, it's a difficult story to tell for loads of reasons, you know, legally. But Amanda was around a good bit. And you met her mom. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I met her mom. I met her kids. I met her husband. and I met the mall, met her sister. Some of the days they were there for some lighter scenes, but some of the days they were there for some really heavy scenes that brought them right back to it. I remember her mom saying to me, it's really hard to watch for loads of reasons, but I wish I'd been that articulate when it was happening. I wish I'd known how to deal with my emotions and I wish I'd known how to operate within that situation.

44:08And it's like, how could you? Well, I said to her towards the end, And now she has kids, so it's not hard to imagine. But I'm, of course, watching that thing. And I'm no longer putting myself in the position of her. I'm putting myself in the position of, oh, my God, if this happened to one of my daughters. Yes, completely. I would a million times would rather sit in prison than have them sit in prison. In a bizarre way, I do think it could be harder for the parent. And she agreed. I did the Zoom initially with the producers and KJ. But then I did the second Zoom with Amanda. and I don't know about you, but most of the times if I'm offered a job, I'm kind of like, why do you want me to do it?

44:45I was a bit like, I don't know. You were a little scared of this role, right? Oh, completely. Yeah, yeah. But it was her talking about that. It was really emotional on the Zoom, you know, because when she was talking about her mother and what she went through, I sort of realized then that maybe I could play it because... You had the emotion in you. Exactly. And I was more sort of nervous about... It is a bit exhausting doing that. Coming in, frazzled, panicked. Being frazzled, day long. It's hardcore and it takes it out of you. But yeah, she's a great girl. So you were scared. It's a big acting challenge.

45:16And also you didn't ride it. It's not going to be how you might like to land in that challenge. But I feel like in stuff like that, you have to just be on board for the ride. And for the most part, if you're working with normal people, they do want a bit of feedback or they do appreciate a suggestion or two. But really, at the end of the day, I like just to do it and not think about all the other stuff because my day job is so thinking about everything. And in actual fact, it's kind of fun just to go there and be an actor and then at the end of the day, go to your trailer and look at your phone.

45:53Yeah. And not just be like, write more scripts. So I was nervous about it for that reason, but also because it's divisive subject area. People have opinions about her and you would have opinions about why the show's even being made. Strongest opinions, knowing the least amount of the actual story. That seems to be related. You just never know how something's going to be received. Yeah. How has it been? Have people reached out to you? It was a little bit of, like, there would be, because people are... There's no consensus anymore. Online was a little bit funny. Yeah, people like to be really very upset on Meredith's behalf.

46:27As if this person's not also allowed to tell their story. Because one scenario was worse. Say we got in a car accident and you died and I got fucking paralyzed. I wouldn't be allowed to talk about being paralyzed because they would go, what about Sharon? Yeah, there was people who were angry on her behalf. But for the most part, I would say the response has been really good. People thought they knew that story, like you were saying. And then there's so much that you didn't know. In my hunch, is anyone who's even complaining still hasn't seen the story. I would say not. There were people in our comments sounding off.

47:00And I literally wrote a few times like, this couldn't be more obvious that you didn't listen to the episode. That's what I know from this comment. When she was on this show. Yeah, she did it. What about Mary? Yes. And I'm like, what I know for sure is you did not listen to this episode. Yes. Because there's no way you could write that comment that had you listened to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the show and the story, the thing that happened to her is just a reflection of the world acting very sinister. And then there's a lot of defensiveness that comes out of it. Yeah. So yeah, I think a lot of people are like, no, because they are not okay feeling like they live in a world where we could do that to someone or that they themselves have done it unfairly.

47:38Or enjoyed the opera of it while it was happening. Yeah. So to do something lighter, you've taken on Jeanette McCurdy's book. I'm glad my mom died. We interviewed her when she first was promoting that book and it's for sure one of our best episodes ever. She's amazing. She's incredible. She's again a giant brained person. ridiculously talented. It's a really difficult story to tell. And somehow she's managing to do it. And it's funny and entertaining and traumatic. I think the defining attribute that allows you to enjoy it or not enjoy it, be it Amanda Knox or Jeanette, is if they weren't destroyed by it, it's great.

48:22And that really is Jeanette. It's like, oh no, this bitch ain't destroyed by this. She's gotten stronger. It's so inspiring. She is. You play the mom? No, she's just producing the project. Yeah. Okay, got it. I'm just delighted to be involved in any way. Just getting to see her work. And it was a book that I was obsessed with. And talking to her about it before we had it picked up, before we went out and pitched it even, I knew I wanted to be involved. She's really something. Now I'm scared for you. you're writing two different projects for yourself. One at Amazon, one at HBO. I wonder what the Amazon thing is.

49:02Because someone else has asked me that as well. We're developing something with Amazon. But not necessarily you starring. Not for me, no. I'm writing an HBO show. For you? Yeah, for me. I always still get embarrassed by that. Really? I'm writing it for me. And no one else will be in it. Yeah. I think it's braggy. Well, no, I felt it with pulling as well, even though that was the first thing. I was like, and I will cast me. You know, it just feels a bit. Indulgent, maybe. Yes. But it's not. Just so you know. But the workload, I'm a little worried about the workload. Are you? I am. You've now created more shows than almost anyone, really.

49:39You're just racking them up. It's a lot. And you're fine. How many hours of a day do you work? It depends. Well, at the moment, we are making a show for Netflix called Vladimir. And it's shooting in Toronto. and it's like mad hours because there's a different time zone. So at the moment, it's not great because I finished my work in the UK and then I go and eat dinner with my girls and then I go back to work. But for the most part, when you're writing, I'll do a sort of 10 till 5 kind of thing. If my girl's at school and she's leaving at 8 in the morning, I start at 8 and then might end a little earlier.

50:15But I don't know. I mean, I'm just sitting at a desk. You don't feel like you're approaching burnout level or anything. No, you're worrying me. Yeah, you should be a little bit worried. No. Here's why. I watched this incredible documentary. I did not know this DJ. I don't know. I just randomly watched it. Avicii. Have you ever heard that? No. He was this enormous global DJ. The kind that can make a million dollars a night. And now everyone wants to start working with him. So it's like this amazing artist, this amazing artist. Yeah. And this documentary is heartbreaking because, and I can so relate to it, just like you want something so bad.

50:49It takes so long to get it. And when it comes, it's nearly impossible to throttle it. And this took him down. I think he died of working. What the hell? Yeah, he killed himself. You think I'm going to die? No. He killed himself. He killed himself. Okay. Slash maybe fell on a broken wine bottle, whatever. He was not in a good spot. Very tragic story. And I was watching it just going like, I very much relate to this. These opportunities don't come around. He had to have felt that way. And it's really hard to govern yourself when it's all things you want. That's true. And there is definitely an element of that because I did start late.

51:25And so I've always felt like I'm playing catch up. But the other element of it is that I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I wasn't. Yeah, you said, I'm not very good at twiddling my thumbs. I become a bit more hyperactive as I get older. I don't really know how to relax. Yeah, I don't really know how to relax. But here's the thing. I was writing this episode of something that was set in Germany. and then every day over the two weeks that I was writing it I was just like going to Germany get out of my head and my house and just be in a different world and I find it very relaxing okay good when I was doing divorce and catastrophe that was hard and I remember having I guess they were sort of panic attacks I didn't know what they were at the time I was like yeah oh my god you're drowning in the commitments yeah but it doesn't feel like that now I mean I've got a company of amazing people.

52:21The new show, you're playing a divorcee moving through the world. Yeah. Is there more plot than that that I'm leaving out? Well, I'm the mother of a son. It's kind of about the Sam's generation, really. It's about that point in your life where your children are adults, but they haven't left and you're still looking after them and your parents are getting older and that becomes also a responsibility. But it's this time in your life when the stakes are so raised because you suddenly become incredibly aware of your mortality. And in this particular situation, she wants to meet someone. She wants to fall in love before she stops being a sexual person.

53:02So there's this clock, but the world isn't allowing her. Well, here's my pitch. You're going to have a lot of lovers in this show. You're going to have to go on a lot of dates and there'll be good ones and bad ones. And I'm volunteering to be one of the lovers. I can't commit to It's like a lot of episodes, but it's just one. Something within reason. I'm letting you know I will do that. Would you be a force for good or a force for bad? Whatever you choose that morning. You're like, I want to see him be naughty. No, I want to see the sweet side of him who has kids. Not like a builder. I don't want to play a parking meter maid.

53:35But let's just say I was giving you a ticket, but then somehow I charmed you. And you're like, I hate you. What is this guy? Can you imagine going out with a parking meter? It would be rough. Yeah. But they're just people too. They're just people. Yes. I'm a dick. They deserve to be in love. No, it's okay. They're giving us tickets. It's like, you can only like them so much. They are in charge of giving us tickets. And it's not their fault. It's not their fault. Once in a while, one will hang out in front of my kid's school at drop-off. Really? Just waiting. I can't let it go. I can't let it go.

54:04Because, you know, everyone's so fucking hectic. Everyone's trying to get to work. It's a mess. Yeah, they're like vultures. And I have on a couple of occasions said, you know, an even better spot is the emergency room. You should go hang out at the emergency room where people really don't have time to park. Blank face or do they give it to you back? No. There's nothing. Then I feel bad. Then I regret it. And then I've done it twice. No one wants that job. Well, listen, it takes a unique person to post up in front of an elementary school to do your ticket. That person, I'm going to say it's a he.

54:36I don't know. You sexy. Probably has to have so many tickets. Yeah, exactly. meeting their quota with parents that are struggling to get to work on time. I think we could pick on a better. Let's go in front of an agency. Is it a showbiz school? No, no, no. Because in a way, I'd sort of go like, it's a fair call. No, and in fact, it has more kids on free lunch than probably any other school in the city. So no, it's the opposite. Screw that. People can't afford a ticket. Let one of those people say it, not you. I got to use my privilege for good. I'm trying to protect these people, Monica. I can't believe you're not supporting this.

55:15You're not protecting them. You're protecting yourself. No, I don't care if I get a ticket. I literally do. No, we fight all the time. Yeah, it's part of the charm, I guess. I've got a very weird relationship with money. Yeah. Yeah, I do too. I think I just need a bit of therapy for it. So yeah, so if you don't cast me on your show, I could also work you through financial insecurity. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you very much. There's a few different services I provide. Do you know what's weird about writing a show that does have sex in it? Yeah. Is that then you just get embarrassed when you send it out to people.

55:48That they think you're a pervert or something? I can't lose that feeling. Is that the Irish Catholic? I don't know. I mean, Rob and I used to get it a bit when we would write these sex scenes like side by side. And then all of a sudden we'd realize that we're writing it for each other and we'd get really embarrassed and awkward. It feels like that when you write something and then you send it to an actor because you're saying, we're going to do it. Yes, yes. We're going to be dead. We're going to be kissing. It could be even more. Are you on board? Yeah. It's like asking someone out in real life.

56:23It's vulnerable. God. But I would think this is where the positive side of being a woman, that side of the coin you should embrace, which is if I write that scene and I send it to Sydney Sweeney And I'm a 50-year-old dude and I send this scene. I have this great scene I wrote for us. You shouldn't do that, though. No, I shouldn't. Correct. I agree. That's a bit Woody. I agree. Yeah. I'm with you. That's a bit Robert Duvall, Emma Watson. Yes. I'm in full agreement. That's why I'm using it to illustrate my point. But you can do that and it's totally fine. You should feel nothing about it. If you've earned anything, it should be that.

56:59It's that we know you're not a predator. Generally, women are not predators. So you're free to do that. There are some. There's a few. Thank God. I don't know any. If you're a predator and you're a female, please in the comments, signal yourself out. Are you vaping? It's a nicotine spray. Oh, a spray. Yeah, so it's a very healthy delivery system. I was very addicted to vaping and nicotine gum and occasional rollies. And so I did some hypnotherapy about four years ago. Well, that brings us to my very last question for you. We've arrived. Oh, wow. So you quit drinking for three years. Yeah. And you loved it, right?

57:39I did. Apparently I was annoying. You loved it so much you talked about it? I did a little bit. I wasn't like evangelical, but I was just suddenly going on walks for no reason other than to enjoy the beauty of the walk. And prior to that, there had to have been a pub at the end of it. So what it did was sort of just give me a whole new perspective. And I kind of loved it. And I figure my brain was like on fire at the time. When you go a couple years without a hangover, for me, I had hangovers every single morning for a decade. To not have hangovers. Yeah. It was almost unimaginable. Like so much of my life was dealing with a hangover.

58:19Yeah. And going to work and hoping it would break. And oh, I'm sweating. Okay, it's going to break. Just that whole madness. And then when we had kids, and even we'd be on vacation with our pod, Monica's a member of, and they drink and we don't. And I'd wake up and I'm like, I can barely deal with the kids without a hangover. I can't imagine what it's like to deal with kids with a hangover. God, I remember. It's awful. So my great curiosity is like, what brought you back? Oh, my dad died. Oh, your dad died. Yeah, it's a good reason. But it wasn't like my dad died and I had to have a drink. I just wanted to, with my brothers and sisters, drink a Guinness.

58:55We all needed it. But I didn't go back in like full bore. it was very very occasional and I was still on my sort of like smug thing because I was like I just don't drink in the same way anymore and then like suddenly it just sort of creeps in again it's a habit and then the next thing because I remember saying to my daughters do you remember when I used to drink a glass of wine every night with dinner then sometimes I would have two glasses of wine and they couldn't remember it and I was like well that's great because I thought that would be something that they'd be really aware of so I started slightly getting back into that Now I've stopped.

59:31It was like the excitement of suddenly drinking again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a bit giddy. I was buying nice wines. It was like, I remember when I started eating meat for the first time after 16 years. I was so horny for meat. I was just like, give me meat. So it was a bit like that with the booze. And now the last few days have been nuts because of the parties. But it has adjusted things a bit. It's not like a habit. It was a habit before where you don't even notice that you're drinking wine because you're just always drinking wine. Yeah, I have that. Yeah. I 100 % have that. that. But I don't know.

1:00:01I'm back and forth on whether I care. But you know what? What happened was, and you know the way your phone sort of really gets into your head and sends you loads of videos about whatever it is you're fretting about. So while I was not drinking, it kept sending me all these videos about how terrible booze is for your brain. I know. So it fed into my smugness and I was like, this is brilliant. Everything is positive about this. And now they're continuing to come up and I'm like, no, no, no, no. Shut up. No, don't look at me. I know. Yeah, the algorithm is really on one right now. It's really awful.

1:00:36No alcohol, but whatever. There's some really unfortunate studies, I think. Well, what about also the 100-year-old people who drank every day? No one wants to talk about them anymore. They used to talk about them a lot. Yeah, they used to tell you you have to drink a glass of wine. I know. You'll be good for your heart. And now it's crazy. They're all over the map. Why? Yeah. Well, I mean, I think red wine. It's fine. On the continent. It's tasty and it's fine. Live long. Did you drink Beamish? I've never loved Beamish. It's too sweet. I loved Beamish. But not Guinness. I love Guinness. I love Guinness.

1:01:10You'll be happy to know I literally forced Monica to have a Guinness when we were in London. They're not really for me. Yeah, but come here. London, London, Guinness. Okay. So maybe that's the issue. Unless you go to Devonshire. Have you been to Devonshire? No. Yeah. Unless it was across the street from our hotel. Unless that was the one. Where was your hotel? Claridge's? No, we weren't at Claridge's. We were at... Another one of those. It's not far from there. It wasn't that place. It was kind of a shithole. There's no way it was this one you're thinking of. Well, they do quite good Guinness.

1:01:40And then obviously if you go to Dublin or anywhere in Ireland. Oh, it's so good. So smooth. It's just very thick. Yeah. Thick. It's a little thick. Yeah. Well, Sharon, you're as lovely in person as you are on screen. Thank you so much. Yeah, this has been so fun. I'm sorry I was a bit hung. I was not even hung over because it was two days ago. You're just exhausted. Yeah. I've needed to wee for about the last 40 minutes. Oh, no, you could have told us. Okay. Also, you can go on the couch. Really? Yes. Yes. Thank you. All right, we adore you. Thank you. Everyone watch the 96 Projects you're in.

1:02:19Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

1:02:28I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode, but we'll find out when my mom, Mrs. as Monica comes in and tells us what was wrong. Okay. Well, the last time I saw you. Yes, ma 'am. Or the last time the people saw you. And me, I guess. You and the people. Yeah. I am one of the people. Yeah. You're going to go to the hospital. Which I did. Yeah. So tell everyone what transpired. I went to the hospital. They hooked me up to... No, I peed first. You were able to? Yawn sample. Remind everyone what happened. You couldn't pee. I couldn't pee. It was painful. I got a crazy fever. I gave blood and yawn at my GP.

1:03:16That stands for general practitioner. Yes, although he's not. He's an internist and he doesn't like. But at any rate, and then my family was concerned I was sepsis. Again, I don't know if you say septic or he has sepsis. He's in sepsis. There's something weird about sepsis. Sure. I don't know. Do you? Yeah, I think it's like, and turns out I was in sepsis. He went sepsis. He went sepsis. Or did he went septic? No, I think septic's only about the tank. Okay, the septic field and the septic tank. Anyways, get there, do some samples. They hooked me up to a stronger antibiotic. My vitals are good, though.

1:03:58Great. So I'm there for some hours. I get a bag of fluid. I, oh, yes. And then he takes an ultrasound of my bladder and it's full. Yeah. But I just peed. Yeah, but you didn't get a lot of pee out. Yeah. So he's like, yeah, we're going to have to do a catheter. And I was like, oh, no. Of all the things in life I hope to avoid. Yeah. It was putting two feet of cable up my pee hole. Yeah. God, I did not want to do that. So I think I've had one before, but I think I woke up post-surgery with it. I also have had one, but it was gone by the time I woke up. And then I think I was on a tremendous amount of opiates in the hospital when they removed it or something.

1:04:44I don't know. I just have no memory of this. Sure. So I guess I'm not saying where I went or anyone's name. The first order of business was the nurse was going to, and she told me, I got to put lidocaine in your urethra. Okay. So she has this syringe about this big, about six inches long. It's a fat boy, right? There's a ton of fluid in there. And so she's holding my penis and she puts it right up to the urethra. And I'm laying on my back trying to just be in another zone, right? And I'm just trying to. Are you worried? About getting erect? Yeah. No, not at all. Really? No, no, no, no. I am so terrified about getting this procedure.

1:05:25Oh, wow. Okay, that's good. I guess for. Yeah. Yeah. Positive side. So she has this syringe. She's, she's has it up to the, the, the hole. And I don't know if it was stuck or whatever happened, but there was an audible pop. And then the whole thing went in like, boom, the whole, and I went, Oh my God. Like I, I yelled, which I, Oh my God. And she goes, Oh, Oh, I'm so sorry. That's not supposed to happen. What? Oh no. That's not what you want to hear. They're supposed to obviously slowly put all that fluid in. But again, I think it was stuck or something. Maybe she pushed you hard and it just made this loud pop.

1:06:05And then it fucking just gushed six ounces of jam in my penis at once. It was jam. Wait a minute. Was it? And I was like, whoa, rough start. Was this nurse in Armchair? No, but I loved her and I learned a ton about her. We had a very, very like connected, intimate conversation about like her, someone in her life who passed. And like we had had a really great time. Okay. I feel like, I feel like this nurse is an arm cherry and got like nervous. She was holding the armchair expert's penis. Yeah. And like having. I don't think so because we were just speaking so candidly. She would have said she liked the show.

1:06:45I think that's where we were at. Okay. No, I don't think she was an arm cherry. I still do. Okay. Okay. So anyways, you know, that happens. And then they come back with the tube and then they put the tube in. And I'm like, it's just horrendous. I can't believe you don't get anything for it other than the topical. Yeah. I guess it's just where I'm such a baby. These like zones where I'm a total baby, I guess. So it goes in. It's insane. It's insane. And it takes so long because it's got to go through your whole penis and then up and then into your bladder, which is deep in there. And it just feels like forever.

1:07:21And it's the worst feeling. Then they blow up the balloon. Then they strap the bag to my leg and they stick the thing. Now, my one complaint was like big sticky pad to secure the bag and everything. And, you know, I have hairy thighs. Sure. She slapped it right on there. I was like, take a sec. Let's get a razor. I'm mad I didn't advocate for myself. Oh, okay. because as it turns out when I got home, she had put it up too high. So my penis was hanging down much lower than where that thing was, which was making the tube go upward and pull my penis up. And I was afraid you can pull the thing. So as soon as I got home, I had Kristen and Lincoln reattached it lower.

1:08:03And then we shaved my leg. But getting that thing off with all the hair. Okay, whatever. Is it like belted? No, no. It's just there's a hose. And then I took a photo and I sent it to Eric and Aaron. and they screamed out loud, both of them, they said. Because you can tell it looks absolutely miserable. But there's a strap that there's like, there's the sticky piece with clamps that hold the top of the hoses. And then you've got two elastic belts that go around two parts of your legs and then a big bag to fill the yarn. Right, right. You immediately look 85 years old. Yeah. I mean, there's so many funny things that happened over the course of the three days I had it.

1:08:46One was we kept telling, you know, I kept complaining about the tube in my penis. And at one point, like day two or three, I was emptying the bag and the toilet and Delta came into the bathroom and she goes, oh my God, daddy, I thought you were saying that metaphorically, tube in my penis. She didn't know I had a literal - Oh, what did she think? I don't know, but I loved that she knew to say metaphorically. Yeah, yeah. I was like so distracted by how wonderfully she said. Her vocab. Yeah, I thought you were saying that metaphorically. Oh, my God. And I go, I know. I thought you immediately look like you're in some serious medical.

1:09:30And I felt like it, you know. I felt like what's going on a week ago. Yeah, just a week ago, I felt indomitable. And now I have this bag. And then the bag, and maybe other people have positive experiences with it, so I'm not bashing caffing. Sure. And again, a lot of these things I think were just chickens coming home to roost. Because you remember the catheter cowboy commercial? Yeah. It was a cowboy. He goes, I've been cowboying for 25 years. I don't like pain when I cath. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. And you've been making fun of that for years. I have, because the guy was like 75. I'm like, let me get this straight.

1:10:09You started cowboying at 50? He might have. Look, you're 50. I'm not ready to start cowboying. I'm ready to start riding a soft chair. The thing about it is mid sneeze, I was like, oh my God. Anything abdominal. Yeah. It sucks because you have that balloon in there. And also just the balloon at the end of your bladder. What it feels like is that painful moment you have to pee so bad you don't think you can hold it. It just felt like that for three days. And anytime I moved, it was just like the sharp pain in there. I hated it. I really. It wasn't for you. I did not enjoy it. Saturday, I woke up and I said to Kristen, I'm like, I'm going in and get up, take it out today.

1:10:47I cannot wait till Sunday. She's like, okay, but remember, they didn't say that arbitrarily. So then she talked me off the ledge and I waited till Sunday. That's good. I was so happy to get it out. Yeah. I don't ever want one of those again. I understand. No, silver linings. Okay. Let's go through them. I slept in the guest house for three days and I really didn't do anything. Cause I couldn't move or anytime I moved, it was just the worst grody feeling of like, yeah, I'm peeing my pants. Oh, I'm going to add. Yeah. This is too much information. Goating doodles was almost impossible. Cause you're going doodles, going doodles.

1:11:24Oh, pooping. Because you're, you're really, I don't know about for a girl, but for a boy, you're using the same area to push the, the doodles and to push yawn out. Those two things are married for a boy. When you sit down on the toilet, you just push and everything comes out at once. But I have this tube. And so there were times where I was trying to doodles. Yeah. And all of a sudden, he just started coming out of around the tube. Not in the tube. No. So it's, it's somehow it's pushing around the balloon inside the bladder. Okay. Also, you take these pills to make your yawn super dark orange.

1:12:00It looks like the McDonald's, You remember McDonald's orange drink? No. Okay. They got a call orange drink. It wasn't orange or juice. Okay. I don't even know if it was orange soda, maybe orange soda. It was dark as hell orange. Okay. Okay. And I'm just on the toilet and I'm like, oh, fuck. And my penis can't be in the toilet because it's got a tube coming out of it that's attached to my lower leg. Okay. So the bag's like at your ankle? Yes. Oh, it's that far down. Not at my ankle, but around my knee. Oh, wow. I imagined it to post. I imagine it like high up. I'm going to. Post the picture. No, no.

1:12:41I'm going to crop the photo. Okay. So you can at least see the placement on the leg. Okay. All these pictures of Eric's dad as a wizard. Sure. We touched on that last week. Okay. So I've mocked out the offensive. Okay. Hold on. Oh, boy. Oh, wow. Yeah. Ew. Yeah. Also, yeah. Hold on. The color, yeah. The color of the pee is... Is McDonald's orange. Again, it's the specific pills they make you take because they want to be able to see the line in the bag really clearly. They don't want to see through yawn. They don't want... Wow. Okay, because it's kind of brash. This is humiliating. Can I have a bag?

1:13:29No, I'm still looking at it. Come on. I don't like this anymore. Can I have it back, man? Bye. Okay, the belt is made of like - I'll send you the whole one with my penis so you can see the tube coming. Great. Fuck, so yeah. And then, so I got it out and then I thought, oh, that's my only problem in life is this catheter. How did it smell? There wasn't any smells, but I didn't, did I wrap up? Like there's nothing more disconcerting than there's like yawn coming out around the tube. Yeah, that's uncommon. I'm like, what's happening? Why is there? Shouldn't the yarn be coming through this hose? What's wrong with the hose?

1:14:10Is the hose blocked? Why am I able to push yarn? Were you worried you were going to get it in the tube somehow? No, no.

1:14:23I've had some follow-up questions throughout this process, but these ones are definitely the best. What about, was it warm to pee on your leg? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And that feel kind of good. I mean, it was really hard to enjoy anything. The other thing I was living in, like, abject fear of is like, fuck, I hope I don't get a boner. That's what, oh, you mean during it. Oh. With this hose in. Like sometimes you're sleeping and you just, you have an erotic dream and you wake up. Morning wood. Aroused. And I'm like, is it going to jerk? What part of the tube is it going to jerk? Fuck. Huh. Interesting.

1:15:03I'm sure there's some slack so that it. Kristen did not think this was a thing, but I, Eric and I thought it was a thing. I was texting with him most. He had to deal with most of my complaints. Sure. And I said, Eric, I'm not going to masturbate, but don't you think that you told me I can't? Maybe you can. Oh, my God. I mean, seriously. Some people have catheters in, like, for life. Like, I'm sure they have to masturbate. I don't think you can. And then also, where is the semen coming from? It doesn't come from your bladder. And you have a tooth. Your vas deferens. Your vas deferens is the muscle that's, like, pumping and pushing.

1:15:41The semen out. Anyways. Do you think the semen would go through the catheter? Well, the thing is I don't think it can because I don't think the semen goes into your bladder and then out of your earther somehow. It would leak out the way the. Yes, a man can ejaculate while using. Okay, Rob's pulled up. An indwelling urinary catheter. He Googled it. Okay. Though it requires specific consideration depending on the type of catheter. The individual's comfort level, mine was low. And the desired sexual activity, mine was low. While intermittent catheters used for self-catheterization are removed before sex, indwelling folly catheters can be kept in place.

1:16:23A subrepubic catheter, which enters the bladder through the abdomen, is preferred for sexual activity as it doesn't interfere with inner quarters. Okay. So if you have one for a long time, they probably give you a specific kind so you can have sex and masturbate. But yours was only a couple days. And I was living in like absolute fear, fear of that happening. Sure. To the degree that I was like, oh, I might give myself one because I'm so afraid of. That's what I was about to say when you were talking about getting it inserted. Like this is what happens during waxes. Like it's so uncomfortable, but they're like, there's a little worry.

1:17:04Like what if. You get visibly. Yeah. And not because you're into it, but just because like you're convinced, you're worried. You're so afraid of it, you might manifest your fear. Self-sabotage. Yeah. So anyways, I got it out. Okay, great. Well, more than that, I was bold. I went out to eat on Saturday night. I was like, fuck this. I'm going out. You did? Yes. And I had to walk. I had to walk like a grampy. I could only walk like a step, like eight inch steps at a time. Yeah. Were you worried it was going to fall out of your pants? Sure. But that, I knew it wouldn't happen because the balloon would catch it.

1:17:41And it'd be start pulling my bladder through my body. So I was more nervous about that. Like, am I going to feel, you know, we had an armchair anonymous nurse talking about a patient who ripped his catheter out with the balloon inflated. I kept thinking of that the whole weekend. Oh, my God. Now, when I just saw that picture, it kind of reminded me of my water babies. Oh, sure, sure, sure. You know, and I would make babies out of those grocery bags. And then I filled with water and carried around and it'd be my water baby. That kind of looked like a water baby. Yeah. Oh, another interesting thing is I was the one thing I was excited about.

1:18:21I was like, oh, cool. I kind of have my dream. I don't have to get up to go pee in the middle of the night. So I was looking forward to that. Yeah. Well, I woke up in the middle of the night, like 4 a.m. And I'm like, fuck, I have to pee so bad. What's going on? I have this bag on. Yeah. Lift up my pant leg. It's 100 % full. Oh. So it's 100 % full. So I am trying to relieve it, but it's just backing up another body. So now I am feeling like I have to pee. So now I'm rushing to the bathroom, not to pee, but to fucking empty my bag. Monica, this is over. I might get fired from the acting job. No, it's sweet.

1:19:02Okay. Wait. Go ahead. Did it, but was it a relief as soon as they put it in at least? Like then, like, cause you were all backed up with pee. No. And I, you know, my stubbornness, I maintain, I probably didn't need that. I could have, it's not like, and then on my subsequent videos to get it removed, they were looking at the amount of urine that was in my bladder when I got it. She said, well, that's, it wasn't a ton of urine. And I was like, yeah, I think it would have been, anyways, who cares? did they find out what happened we'll get to that okay I mean they don't find out what happened but all my blood stuff comes back and I have all kinds of different things going on but okay um I just wanted to finish by saying I had in my mind I was gonna feel like a million dollars when I got this catheter out on Sunday and then I got the catheter out and I got home and I was like oh I still feel like shit you know I still have a massive infection I'm still on like she's on antibiotics and I'm on really heavy ones now got it that make you not feel good so some of the results one is E.

1:20:08coli was in my UTI I said that you did not want to hear it but I did say that UTI I think prostitus okay like infection E. coli weird I was in the mix But you didn't have any tummy troubles. I never had Hannes. Yeah, that's so strange. But I had had, did I ever tell you that part? That right before I got the fever, I'd had a piece of - Bacon? Elk? Yeah, elk. Oh. That Kristen had cooked while I was away. And I was like, that was in the fridge too long. I took a bite and I was like, I think we should throw this away. I don't think this is good. So I had eaten. So you had one bite of it. Just one bite.

1:20:49Well, then maybe that was - And threw it away. Ew. So I don't fucking know, Monica. Like what I asked about my, they're not carboing gals. I call them carboing gals, but I don't even think I actually have carboing. I asked about those. The doctor says it's completely unrelated. He looked. He's like, there's nothing happening. Did he say they're okay? Yeah, he looked and said, there's nothing cooking here. These are fine. I was like, I diagnosed you with something. You know, what do you have me on? MRSA. Right. You have me on MRSA. up. And then, and he said, now that thing, MRSA is very common when you cycle and wear tight clothes.

1:21:23So he did recommend I use a surgical soap when I cycle. I am disgusting. I sound like a complete Petri dish. No, it's fine. You're just a person. You're just saying that to egg me on. So I say even more. Did I tell you that they found anal warts all over my face? No. Oh, wow. No. Okay. Wait, but MRSA is scary. Like remember when MRSA was this huge, there was a huge thing in the hospitals and they were quarantined and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's degrees of it. But yes, all to say I was a little sad that I didn't like spring back to full health. Sure. I think it's going to be a longer process than I normally like.

1:22:05I'm impatient. I want to feel good. I'm exhausted all day. Okay, so you're on antibiotics. You're washing with MRSA soap. No, I haven't gotten that yet. Oh, okay. But I'll get that. Okay. And you miss your pee bag a little bit. No, no, no. But again, chicken's coming home to roost. The other thing I was thinking is I took a Uber home from the hospital on Thursday. And there's a line in Chips where Steve Agee's a cab driver and he goes to pick me up, my character. And it's in front of the emergency room at the hospital. And AJ's character goes, hold on, before you get in, you don't have any fucking leaky tubes or bags or anything, do you?

1:22:49Whoa. And because I made fun of people that might have tubes and leaky bags, I gave myself one. Sim. And then the making fun of the caffeine cowboy. Yeah. So, man, the chickens, they're home. They're roost, roost, roosting. Simmy, sim, sim. Wow. Yeah. What are your thoughts about all this? Oh, I mean, I love it. I mean, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that it was painful and uncomfortable. So I had a catheter put in when I got my eggs frozen. Oh, you did? Yeah. And I didn't know. They told me after they had to do that. Okay. And it hurt after to pee so bad for a while. So does it hurt still? Because it's like sore.

1:23:34Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That sucks. Yeah. Yeah, it's the whole thing sucks. I am insistent. I am willing. Okay. That I am going to wake up Thursday morning somehow and I'm going to feel a million bucks. Okay. Like a million bucks. I think you will. But I think you need to be smart about these next few days if you want that to be true. This isn't just going to happen like a miracle. Right. You need to be careful with how you're treating your body over the next few days. I'm taking my medicine. Take it easy. Oh, I left out a silver lining. I was in the guest house for three days by myself. And I got to watch a lot of TV.

1:24:15Oh, yeah. And guilt-free. Yeah. So I could really only watch so much and I start getting mad at myself. Sure. This was like, go for it. And I watched the entire House of Guinness. Oh, fun. Stephen Knight, Peaky Blinders. Yes, yeah. It's very Peaky Blinders. Oh, fun. And it makes you want to drink Guinness so bad. So I ordered Guinness NAs. Oh, fun. And at night I'd get in my bed with my tube hanging out of my dick and I would have my little pint glass and I let it breathe the way they said in the show too. And you watch your programs? Yeah, and I'd sip my Guinness with my piss tube in. Wow. And I really liked it.

1:24:51This is a ding, ding, ding. Why? Because this, we talk about Guinness on Sharon. Oh, yes, we do. We do. That's right. Yeah, that's exciting. Their NA is really good. That's great. Not as good as Ted Seeger's. Well, that's as good as Ted Seeger's. That's what they say. That's what they're saying. Everybody. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

1:25:28Wow. Well, that is harrowing. You went through a lot. How was your weekend? My weekend was good because while you were going through that, at the same day, actually, Taylor Swift dropped her album. Oh, I know. I listened. Okay. Yes. Yes. Yes. So. How does one eventize a whole day? Like, what was your whole, what was your day? It's dedicated to that, right? Well, so it dropped Thursday at, I guess, midnight East Coast. So nine hour time, which, you know, there are there are moments in life where I feel just so, so, so grateful to be on the West Coast. For the time. Yeah. This is one Super Bowl.

1:26:09Super Bowl is always one. I'm always very grateful. Now, so I was working editing. I must have been because I didn't have time to listen that night. And I'm on a group text, okay, with three other Swifties. Two are - Uh-huh. Molly, Jake, and Audra. Okay. Two, well, one is the biggest Swiftie in the world. Okay. And people are going to be so mad at me for saying that because they're going to be like, no, I am. And then - That's Jake? Yeah, Jake. Molly is number two. She's very high up on the Swiftie scale. Yep. Audra and I are some deviations below that. Uh-huh. But love her so much, obviously.

1:26:54Yeah. So anyway, I'm like trying to not really look at my phone because these texts are. They started at nine. They started listening. They started at nine. They're coming in. They're talking about each song. Yeah. I was like, oh, fuck. Like, I don't know what anyone's talking about. Yeah. So I start listening Friday around two, West Coast time. And it's fun. It's easy listening. Yeah. It comes out. It's very easy to consume. It's very. Yeah, this is Taylor Swift. It's breezy. It's poppy. Like, it's fun. I enjoy it a lot. Yeah. I.

1:27:35Wow, we're inching closer to something. We're like crawling. We're crawling. No, I love her so much. We're making our way to like the edge of the cliff where the bad guys might be able to see us, but we can take a peek. I know. I mean, yeah, this is one of those things. You can't say anything, but I'm gonna. Like I, I thought it was great. I've been listening to it a lot. It's, it's fun. And is it a shower or a grower? Is it like the more you listen to it, the more you appreciate it? The more I listen, the more I like the sound. Uh-huh. But the lyrics for you are, are not hitting the way some of them have.

1:28:10Yeah. So the reason she's so special to me is because of her poetry, the way she writes. I do think this album isn't the best lyrically of hers. Okay. That's okay. Not everything has to be the best. Yeah, yeah. There's one song on there, Father Figure, that I think is - Michaels. Is George Michaels. Yes, he's credited on it. Yeah, yeah. I think that is quintessential Taylor lyrics. I think it's so smart and good. and has this great turn and I love it. Yeah. I love it. But the rest are kind of like - They're fun. They're just fun. Yeah. And that's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is a song. I don't know if you've heard about already all the like drama.

1:29:06There's drama. Please tell me. Okay. There's a song that's about - So romantic? Actually romantic. Actually romantic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who is it about? Is it about KZZ Swigs? Charlie XCX. Charlie XCX. You're really dating. You and the bag. That's a lot. That's a lot of. It pairs nicely with my piss bag. Charlie XCX. It's seemingly about her. It's not a nice song. You know, it is not a nice song. Well, okay, now great. There's already, I've heard it. That's not how I've heard the reaction. Really? What have you heard? Well, the reaction is like, what a cool way to turn this endless you're this, I'm that into like, I'm kind of flattered by your obsession.

1:29:58It's actually quite romantic that you're thinking about me. I know. Which is it's a little catty. It's so catty. It's so catty. Look, by the way, it is a bop. Like I, and I'm kind of, I feel very personally conflicted about this because I really like the sound of this and I like find myself really grooving to it. Yeah. Moving your hips and your shoulders. And yet I am fundamentally kind of like, you're the most famous person in the world. You don't need to do it. You just don't need to do that. Really quick. Like, I think this is where you're seeing tension between the internal identity and the external identity.

1:30:43So, yeah, she's the biggest pop star to ever be. Yes. This is below her. Yeah. But to me, it's like she'll always be the mid-level kid in school. That's who she feels. Yeah, she will always be that in her heart, like a mid-level kid in school. and I don't know anything about Charlie XCX, but the name makes me think she feels like that she's owning her sexuality. And is that, I literally haven't seen a picture. She's cool, right? She's cool, yes, she's cool. So when your internal identity is stuck in eighth grade and someone who's cool, then you don't, you lose sight of the fact that, no, actually I won the bigger war and this is kind of below me.

1:31:24Percent, yes. This is me, this is my dissonance when I am the boss of a hundred people on a set of a movie, it is really hard for me to understand that. It shouldn't be, but it is. I know. Like I'm against the principal at high school and the boss. So the B1 is so confusing. Yes, I understand. And that's exact. I think actually that is a through line through this whole album. I think there's a lot. There are parts of it that to me read like all these cool kids rejected me. And so I'm kind of swinging back into this other direction or just this like Hollywood didn't like me. So I'm choosing a simple life.

1:32:12There's a lot of interesting stuff in it that I'm that is funny because for me, I'm just like, oh, I know that's how you that is how you perceive what's going on. And that's your, that's your internal stuff to work on because that is not true. You're a billionaire because the world showed up for you. The world, not just middle America, the coast, everyone voted, you know, and everyone picked you. But I also, yes, it's endearing. We all just have stuff that we have to work on. But I do think if you are at that level, you have a bigger responsibility than most to work on it or to have someone tell you like, hey, you're punching down.

1:32:59I know you don't, you can't see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you objectively are. But can I devil's advocate that? Mm-hmm. And I don't, I don't really have an opinion on it. I don't know enough about the players and I don't, but my devil's advocate argument would be like, no, no. your obligation as an artist is actually write about whatever you're going through and not try to be the person you're hoping to be in three years and maybe in three years she'll be what you wanted this to be but she's clearly annoyed and it's taking up space in her head that this girl wrote this song about her and that's the reality of what she's processing and in that way I think that's the exact song she should write and then maybe in a year she'll be able to look back like I got that venom out of my system and that was below me.

1:33:46I should have been above that. And that'll be a part of the process. And then hopefully she'll put that experience on the next album. But my devil's advocate would simply be like, no, I don't think you should ever write for who you should be. I think you should write for exactly what you are right now and what you're going through. And you got to like live with the mistakes that are inherent. Yeah. I mean, I think you're right about that. I don't, I think she should write anything she wants to write. What you choose to put out in the world when you are the most influential person. It's not the most attractive look, whether you support her right to do it.

1:34:25Oh, yeah, exactly. Of course, it's her right. She can do whatever she wants. But to me, it's like own that unfairly or fairly. It's going to be a little hard for me to say unfairly when it comes with a lot of prizes. is that when this has happened, these are girls she gave a shot to. Yeah, she feels betrayed. Yeah, so that's deep, right? It's very deep. And I have people, I have plenty of things I want to say and I never will. And I am not her. It's like, if I don't get to, then you surely can. This is what's great too. Because obviously we see in each other what we're struggling with ourself.

1:35:07And I would say you are her actually. and I don't know that you, I can, it's hard to update. Well, I'm not her. We have to be very, we just literally have to look at our Instagram following and be realistic. I'm not trying to be her. Oh, I know. I'm just saying, I think you should identify with it because I think it's hard to onboard. But all to say, I feel a responsibility. Like, and there are things I would love to say to the world that I'll never, ever, ever say to the world. Sure. And it is because it's not the right thing to do. It's not going to make the world better. It's not. It's not going to make the world better.

1:35:48And it's causing pain for no reason. And that's for me to deal with in therapy. Not, you know, again, I'll write about it, do whatever. But to put it out is a real, real, real choice. Last counter. Just thought of it. There's nothing in the history of rap that's been better for the industry than the feuds. Distracts, yes. They fuel everything. Yep. This whole Drake. And I mean, I would not be surprised if we saw them having lunch in Italy somewhere. Sure. I mean, really? Yeah. And you, now that a lot of these rappers are long past that phase, you'll hear Ice Cube. Like Jay-Z's writing songs back in the day for East Coast, West Coast.

1:36:28Yeah. Jay-Z's writing a Dre song, his most popular song. Like none of that, a lot of that was not real and it was great for business. Is it possible that Taylor's like, yeah, this is below me, but like, this is part of the game. This is part of the product. And so now Charlie XCX gets to write a counter song to this one. And that thing will pop. And this thing popped. And maybe it's just business. Look, she is. A business genius. A true business genius. She's a mastermind. I would not be shocked if. Yes. Also, look, this album is happy. She's happy right now. And that's amazing. I want that for her.

1:37:09That's what I want to get to. She's happy. And that is clear, right? And there are songs that aren't happy, Father Figure and this, that I almost feel like she's so happy that she almost has to find, like she has to find the fuel again. Like maybe manufacture a little bit. Or yeah, mixed with like, oh yeah, what is bothering me? Oh yeah, Charli XCX did this. Like, I don't know that that's really on her mind all the time and I hope it's not. Yeah, yeah. But - This is so fun because normally I'm a little critical. I know. I love her and I love the album. This has been a fun reversal. Yeah. And it's been a joy.

1:37:57Well, because I can't, I'm not ever going to just be like. Blindly. Blindly. So I. I've been listening nonstop. So Erica Molly came over on Sunday and I wanted to hear her opinion again. We, as we know, she's a number one top tier Swifty. Yep. So I was asking her what she thought of all the tracks and she was saying on this one, she loves the album. And I said, you know, there is a sad truth to art and, and I experienced it and I'm aware of it, which is, I might have even said this, you know, a few episodes. I'm watching Hit and Run. And this is so cocky to say, but it's true. I'm feeling so much pride over the script.

1:38:38Forget everything else. And I'm just like, God, that was, that's as good as I could have done. You're proud of it. I'm very proud of it. And then immediate next thought is, I don't think I could write that. I wrote that script in two weeks. and I thought I just stepped on a dog. It was my backpack. I just was like, man, I don't think I could fucking write this. And it was the scariest feeling. And what I ended up coming up with is the only way I could write the sequel would be like, we start them divorced. And then we're figuring out what happened. Right. Because the most recent thing I can even remember is that turmoil of having children and how you both get lost.

1:39:19So I got to go back a bunch of years. But in general, I'm so lucky. My life's pretty fucking good. I'm not like, I'm not wrestling. Yeah. With demons. Pain, right? Yeah. Which I do think is the fodder of art. And so when we were in the sauna, I was saying like, I applaud her if she can figure out how to be creative, happily married, happily financially secure. Yeah. Accomplish her goals. I think that's a hard place to create. It's hard. And I was saying, like, if you look at her early music, like if between 17 years old and 30, 70 percent of that audience is either looking to go out tonight to find love or they're dealing with having lost it.

1:40:06Right. It's like a breakup or pursuit. There's a lot of emotional turmoil with relationships, with work. um establishing yourself and your identity is in a career like all the main topics that drive pop music unfortunately she's just not she's no longer embroiled in she's not dealing with huge breakups she's not dealing with she's not dealing with getting love or falling in love she's like stable and it's not yeah so you know it's a challenge it's a challenge but i also think you like even you everyone is wrestling with stuff and you you do have to be introspective about that like you're age or your relevance.

1:40:46I agree. I agree. I left that part out. So I'm definitely wrestling with stuff, but it's stuff that very, a very small percent of the potential audience is wrestling with. That's what happens is your potential audience narrows and narrows. So like mine right now is like existential work identity loss. Yeah. But that's, but that is not narrow. I think a good artist makes something very specific, very universal. and I think that she has the capacity to do that and does that. Like she's writing about John Mayer, one person. And yet that song resonates with so many people and it's specific. It is talking about his chess game and so many people are like, I have, I know that person.

1:41:36I have this, I understand it. And same with these things as we get older too. But I think she'll write a motherhood album. I do too. Yes. And I think that'll appeal deeply to whatever percentage of young people are mothers. But again, it's not this like 100 % of people are looking for love in their 20s. Right. You know, that's just, I think, the fact. And like all the pop songs are about love. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. And. It's obviously the most common. So the next thing she'll be able to do that has the broadest appeal will be to write like a really revealing and truthful album about motherhood.

1:42:13But again, it's just a much tighter when no one in their 20s is really. But again, I don't. You don't like that. I don't think it's true. I think it's the most obvious. It's the most obvious thing going on. But there are deep things going on with all of us all the time. And if you choose to deep dive into those things, like Eldest, there's a song on there called Eldest Daughter. And like that is, well, I think some people think that's about him, but I don't think it is at all. About who? About Travis. Like, or connecting it to Travis. But I don't. I think it's about the responsibility of being the eldest daughter.

1:42:56And it's like, there are things. Like, we're just so, we're multifaceted. We are. but you could look at our most prolific songwriters. There's a bell curve. And then you got to ask yourself, why is there a bell curve? Does her brain deteriorate? You know, are they losing their creative? I don't think that's it. Yeah. And then there are some artists that stay, but also look at their lives. There are people that never leave the cycle of love addiction and they can be writing about heartbreak and obsession into their 60s. Right. And so, yeah, If you want to keep your life a mess, which some people did, but I think in general, if you look at people that kind of like they deal with all these big mercurial events in life, I do think you just look at the output disappear.

1:43:43And also that's, that's probably okay. That's, that's the, that would be the hard part to get to. Like that would be my song or my script today, which so few people would, they're not a place in their life. They would understand. I was like, can I let all that go and still love myself and think I have value and let go of something I work so hard to get? Like, that's where I'm at in life. Right. Could I make that message broadly appealing? That's the challenge. Yeah. That would be the challenge. Anyway. Any whom. Okay, let's do some facts. Okay, great. I want to say Hogan. I'm going to be honest with you.

1:44:18I have these little hiccups with people's names sometimes. And this is one of them. In my mind, it's Sharon Hogan. I know why. It's because there's two R's and that's confusing. Sharon Horgan. And what's Hulk Hogan's wife's name or daughter? Rob? I have no idea. You don't know off the top of your head what the Hulkster's family? Candace Hogan? Skye, Brooke Hogan, Skye, Linda, Jennifer. Yeah. He's had a lot of wives. There's no reason then. Oh, also he's passed. I forgot. Yeah, yeah. We lost him. Yeah. It's sad when people die. He entertained a generation. He really did. Oh, fuck. I loved the Hulkster when I was a little boy.

1:45:00I really did. What a character. He body slammed Andre the Giant. He's a 500-pound man. Man. I wonder if when he did that, if Andre took a fart. When he landed, I'm almost certain he took a fart. Yeah, I think he took a fart. Do you ever see the memes about Andre the Giant, how many beers he drank? I know in the doc they talked about it. I don't remember. But there's these claims that seem to be substantiated that he drank like 126 beers in one second. And I'm just like, I understand that he's 500 pounds, but 126, that's 10 12 packs in a six pack. And it's not like shots. It's like that's liquid.

1:45:37Five cases of beer. No, I do not believe that. The only farts he took. Ew. Oh, man. This is a ding, ding, ding. Uh-oh, farts. Do turkeys poop more than other farm animals? Oh. Turkeys do not necessarily poop more than other farm animals in terms of total volume, but they do poop very frequently. The larger and heavier an animal is, the more waste it generally produces. A turkey's waste output differs significantly from that of a cow or pig, both in volume and how it's concentrated. Like chickens, turkeys have a fast-working metabolism that causes them to excrete waste often, as frequently as every 20 to 30 minutes.

1:46:15Okay. Wow, yeah. Yeah, you were right. We're watching this nature show about dolphins, the girls and I. Uh-huh. And this very, very assertive bird lands on the boat. And the guy's just standing there doing his two-camera thing. And all of a sudden, this bird just lands. And it comes right up to his face. Like, I've never seen a more confident bird. It was not afraid of this human at all. That's nice. And then it's sitting there, and they kind of are getting a bang out of it. And then it just goes. Oh. It just sprays. So rude. It sprays bird poop on the front of the boat. And then it does like four more squirts throughout the thing.

1:46:50And I'm like, I fucking hate how they squirt their poop. And then it brought back PTSD of that woman in the grocery store that we saw. Oh, my God. Who pulled her jersey. We didn't see. We saw a video. We saw a video. We did not see in person. She pulled her jersey material shorts to the side and just squirted like a goose on the floor of a grocery store. In the middle of a grocery store. I mean, what? It was so. And like, we have a high tolerance for poop stories. And like, we understand that sometimes you have to tonka, but this was so just like go outside. Yeah. Grab. I mean, also like, here's what I would have done if it was like that.

1:47:26And it was that desperate. She was in the vegetable section. Grab one of the plastic bags that are everywhere around you and squirt into that. She didn't care about others. At all. Yeah. She had no regard for anyone. I feel like if you're going to do that, you liked it. Like you enjoyed it. It's a kink. Although we have had some Armchair Anonymous stories where people do crazy stuff when they have to poop. And they're like, they're just like, my brain wasn't working. They're good people. And they're good people. They're really good people. So I don't know, but I, it is such a disturbing video.

1:48:05Yeah, the way this bird was just, it's squirting. It's so gross. And they're so smug about it. Yeah. Okay. Okay, the waste called hot manure is very high in nitrogen and phosphorus compared to most other livestock manure. Cattle, the sheer size of cattle means they produce a much greater volume of manure per day than turkeys. A large dairy cow can produce more than 100 pounds of manure daily. A hundred? You? Yeah. A cow shits you out every day? Every day, compared to a turkey's fraction of a pound. So they're doing a lot, but tinies. Yeah. Interesting. When I watch nature shows, I'm just so grateful that I'm an omnivore.

1:48:49Because if you're an herbivore, you have to eat so much to get any calories out of it. There's just no calories in hay. You have to eat a bale of hay and then dump a monica. Does hay have fiber in it? I think it has a lot of fiber. Imagine the constipation. Okay. And then it's got to go through their four-chambered stomach because it's like impossible to break down. Oh. Okay, I did a little more research on this. Yeah. While the largest individual poop comes from blue whales and elephants, animals that poop the most frequently are small, energy-intensive creatures, like some birds, ding, ding, ding, 40 times a day.

1:49:33Oh, my God. Rabbits, 200 to 300 times a day. No. and penguins six to eight times an hour. How are their butts not so raw? I hate rabbit poop. I don't hate it. I'm just so confused. Is that their food or the poop? Ew. Because their food looks identical to their turtles. Yeah, how can they tell? They probably... They don't. They can't tell. Oh, they probably don't. Ew. Okay, last thing I'll say about doodly. Okay. Because I just said it getting off the commode the other morning, Saturday morning. I said, I was about to, I was flushing and I was like, It is funny how disgusting we think it is when it is food.

1:50:14That's all you're looking at. You're looking at food. Yeah, but mixed with food. It's not like you're looking at, you know, a carcass. Like, it's just the food that you thought looked so good when you were putting it in your mouth. And now, you know, nothing, that's just food. No, but it's mixed with like bacteria and stinky bile and stuff. Yeah, I know. It's just, it is just food. It's good that we're not, that we don't think it's just food because it is bad for, if we ate it, it would be very bad for us because of bacteria. So we don't need to get confused like the rabbits. I have a hunch we have, once we started living in such compact societies, that's when diseases started spreading a ton.

1:50:54When we started living with animals, these are when like all these really wild pathogens. So I wonder if when we were hunting and gathering, if we had the same aversion to duty. Because again, no other animal does. They like go right up to each other while the other ones. They also though ate differently than we eat now. So the ways we're producing is so much more complicated than they were just eating like bare natural foods. I think I'm meaning kind of like they ate, which is just like a tremendous amount of meat. But you would put mustard on it. I do. But that's a seed. Mustard's a sauce. It's a seed.

1:51:27Yeah, but the kind you eat isn't just mustard seed. It's made into a paste sauce. I have no idea what kind of mustard I'm eating. Sugar. Actually, there's probably not added sugar, but whatever. It's not pure. Okay. I love mustard. Yeah, it's a great condiment. Great for salad dressings. Okay. Oh, to the point that has she made the most shows. Aaron Spelling holds the Guinness World Record for the most prolific TV producer, having created over 4 ,500 hours of television programming by 2003. Whoa. I saw this funny thing of Howard Stern talking about the summer I turned pretty. He loves it. Yeah.

1:52:08He loves a lot of like teen shows and stuff. He's team Conrad for people who are wondering. Okay. Okay. So you said that your kid's school, I'm not going to say what it is, has more free lunch than any other school in the city. I couldn't, they, there was no, it wouldn't let me find that. Yeah. Yeah. But that school, that school, 45 % of families, qualify for free or reduce lunch. So that's a lot. Yeah. I feel like when I was in elementary school, you know, you knew the kids that were on welfare because they didn't have to pay for lunch. Like they, I forget what they had, but you'd be in line and you'd see it.

1:52:48And I think, you know, and I didn't grow up in like the fancy part of Michigan. I still think it was like only one in 15 or 20 kids was on the free lunch. or just half. I wonder what, like, is it just family income, right? Yeah, it's just income. Yeah. Oh, shit. I forgot to find an important fact, which is where we stayed in London. It started with a C, but it was not Claridge. Claridge. Claridge is. Nope, that's the same one we've been saying. Conant. Nope, I've stayed there. That's a great hotel. Easer hotel. Maybe it doesn't start with a C. Maybe it starts with an M. An M? What's that little area we're in?

1:53:33It's by the theater district. West End? Corinthia. Oh, wow. That would have even rung a bell for me. It was the Corinthia Hotel in London. That's where we stayed. And I don't think we went to the pub that she wanted. There's no way that was the pub. The pub we went into is like something that would be on the Jersey boardwalk. Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't really authentic or nice. No. They did serve Guinness on tap, but that's all you can say about it. Yes. Speaking of, you know, we talked about drinking and, you know, of course, yes, there are all these studies. There's lots of debate about. How bad is it?

1:54:13How bad is it? And this Harvard article says, yes, there are, of course, bad things, but it also says everything in moderation. So. Anyhow, that is it for facts. Okay. God bless Sharon Horgan. She is a gift to us. Yes. Consume all of her stuff. She's so consistently great. Agree. Yeah. Right. All right. Love you. Love you.

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