Bobby’s Beef with Adam Ray

21:46Bobby Lee:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bobby's mom loves the fingers. She's addicted to them. Your mom's bigger into two or three. She has ones that do this, this, and shock them. Fork them, shock them. One app, every sport, all 50 states. New DraftKings customers. Sign up with code BADFRIENDS. Why don't you just spend$5 and get$200 in total rewards within 21 days includes all markets. That's code BADFRIENDS. In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours.

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23:33Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com slash badfriends.

23:38Bobby Lee:You heard my buddy Bobby Lee. That's rocketmoney.com slash badfriends. Rocketmoney.com slash badfriends. Star Wars, The Mandalorian and Grogu is now streaming on Disney+. What are you waiting for? Hop on. The must-see galactic adventure comes home on Disney+. This is the way. Our only chance is to work together. I like this kid. Always wear your seatbelt. Star Wars, The Mandalorian and Grogu. Now streaming on Disney+. Read PG-13. By the way, for a guy that was fat, you don't have any I was a fat kid qualities because you're in great shape. You're in great shape. Since I've known you. No. No. When we met, you were skinny, dude.

24:23when I was when we met I think and then I definitely when you opened for me how what were you good you were really good good and then but then I remember the day when we were in San Diego and I was you know I did not dress well I did not I did not take any umbrage with the fact that I mean I didn't have any money I remember when I got my first check from the heat Bobby pulled me aside he goes hey put that away save it spend it whatever you do but you know and I know you're all feeling good wow the heat pretty cool right yeah getting some 11 30 spots in the OR wow feels good doesn't it doesn't it feel good yeah guess what when you nothing's gonna change right back to the grind baby and and dude i said that i appreciated it because then we went to san diego a couple weeks why would i say that because you're a fucking bully no because you're trying to shoot me straight and be like you could see me getting ahead i was getting a bit of a head i was like i'm gonna fucking big comedy blockbuster and then you heat yeah yeah you've never been that way but bobby made me throw out my jeans he goes we walked into what's your jean store what you want south edge apc is it there was one in san diego that was around the corner from acc that we went to maybe fashion gal fashion don't make fun of my parents anthropology you know that was his dad on his store called fashion gal in san diego i always wish my parents owned a store yeah yeah not like this you don't you don't yeah yeah so you go i'll buy you new jeans and i go oh okay and i didn't like know how to say no i was like yeah i was like i think my jeans are fine and you're like you look like you ordered those off a website that doesn't exist anymore yeah that's what it They were also too big.

25:51Now I feel like at least like, you know, there's a, everyone figures out like what their legs can handle tight, too tight. Bobby goes, I'll get you these jeans are like$300 jeans. I was buying$16 old Navy jeans. Oh yeah. And I'd go down to the Brea improv and I'd hit that old Navy before, after the show and be like, daddy's got a weekend wardrobe. And then Bobby goes, take them off right here on the street. So I'm in downtown San Diego, busy gas lamp district. And I'm just dropping trow. And I bought you a$300 pair of raw denim. Yeah. And you lost it. No, no. I still, well, I don't wear them anymore.

26:24Why don't you wear them anymore? It was 15 years ago. 15 years ago. Do you wear anything from 15 years ago? I do actually. Yeah. Thank you very much. What do you wear for 15 years? T-shirts and stuff. I've worked for 15 years. I have some T-shirts that are 15 years old. No, you distress them to look. No, no, no, no. I have some. But they're so brittle now. I can't even wear them. Right. But I have them. You have them still. I do have them. It is funny how, do you think that's what? Did you bet you the thing or no? Do we, what? Of the problem that we, you and I have? No, please. He wants to get the beef out.

26:50Oh, let's get the beef out. Yeah, the Korean beef.

26:52Bobby Lee:It's bulgogi time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. New segment. So Carlos told you, right, that I didn't, that I said that I didn't want you on this podcast, which is not true at all. Is that, wait a minute, is that what you heard? The Adam Ray show on Netflix, you were being lazy about going on. Oh, oh, that's what it, yeah. And I, yeah, I, here's my - This show, no. And by the way - I don't want to say, can I just say that? Yeah, yeah. You're sounding defensive. It seems as if it was real. One would think this was real. I'm calm. You're yelling.

27:27Bobby Lee:Explain your side. What do you mean? What side? Carlos, give us the setup. Adam has a show on Netflix called The Adam Ray Show. It's fantastic. Please watch it right now on Netflix. Santino's done an app, and I just wanted to complete the puzzle with one of my other I get it One of the funniest people I know I'm not a puzzle piece But okay I think so Okay Yeah you are You're a little Okay That's puzzle piece Bob So what did you want me to do He got Michael Bublé Instead of you Yeah he went Bublé over you We swapped that We went Bublé over Lee Alright so I apologize I don't know So what did you tell him I said he's being a baby about it That's not what you said to me What you said to me is I told Adam Ray That he didn't I didn't want him on the show And that's what you told him That's what you told me that you told them.

28:13No, I told you that it was about the Adam Ray show, not about Bad Friends. Oh my God, what do you like?

28:19Bobby Lee:Time out, time out, time out. Talk a time out. Can we please explain your story? Then we'll hear the rebuttal because this is not solving any problems. So what happened? Adam reached out to me about having Bobby on Netflix's The Adam Ray Show. Correct. Different from Bad Friends. Correct. I reached out to Bobby maybe 19 times about it. Every time he said no. Why do you go through him? Stop. Stop. He's not done. Because I texted you three times. So he reached out to the book or a bad note. Stop it. No response. Stop it. So I go, who else know Bobby? Carlos. Carlos has to control the calendar. So that was a good move.

29:00Bobby Lee:He said, Carlos controls the calendar. And also I can read the room. I go, I'm going to start blowing him up. Clearly either he's not seeing it, but three is a crowd. Three is a crowd. I did it. Let me say this. it sounds to me can I defend Bobby for a second yeah please defend me Andre I feel like I'm drowning you know what last time we went to San Diego all together someone came to us and say you guys are into comedy did you know Adam Ray he is really funny and as you might oh so we've been holding on to this Bobby took it really well and said oh yeah he's my buddy I love him so much he's great why do I feel like that's not how it went down that's how it went down he started smoking again it stressed him out so much he walked outside and smoked again here's what happened the server goes you guys are doing comedy down here you guys are comedians and we said yes don't know who you are have you guys heard of adam ray he's funny jesus that's exactly what the that and bobby said and it went into my heart we do know him yeah that's what he did we do we do know and then you guys oh yeah yeah yeah we do know him and you know that he stopped doing his podcast but we started one and it's the biggest show in the world so yeah i said yes he's one he's one of our best friends and Bobby goes, hmm, he knows Adam Reign.

30:10Bobby Lee:He doesn't know who we are. I did not do that. What'd he do? He said, Adam is my boy. No, you're not. I said, no, that's what I did. That's the title of this episode. That's what I did. You are a fucking liar. Adam is my boy. He's a fucking liar. Bobby is the boy who cried wolf. No, I never cried wolf. I've never done anything of such a sort. Yeah, yeah. Time out. Time out. 19 texts later, what ended up happening? 19 texts later, I decide I'm not going to lie like I always do. this is adam we've known him for 20 years yeah so i just gave him straight truth straight truth because i thought he can handle the truth he can he's fucking i couldn't a few good i couldn't he is one good man i thought that bobby could handle that adam could handle the truth like i thought that everyone could handle yeah but you're not as my representative i'm not representative i don't make 10 so burn you said don't go through him then so don't go through melanie go through abby melanie who's melanie my assistant great you have her number i think i still have abby's email she'll schedule it for sure maybe not the right date but that is that is a fact it's a fact who is this melanie melanie yeah yeah but abby's still your manager right yeah but she doesn't do my booking i remember when i used to reach out to abby for dates and then she'd be like oh sorry bobby's bringing dean on these and then i ran into d i guess i don't know if you have to believe the same out but whatever no so no thing but then dean and I talked to the comedy store because it's when it's right at the turn of when I stopped opening you for and I walked up to the comedy store parking lot which you know well and let's call back to the car thing I got it and so when you crashed into Rick's your confidence is staggering he's the man but so so Dean goes Bobby goes hey Adam he goes you want to go talk to your friend Dean here and I go and you had a big grin on your face because you were like this is awesome like the opener's fighting over their feature time for you that's the whole point of life totally and Dean goes And Bobby goes, hey, Adam.

32:02He goes, hey, cool guy. Dean's trying to take your road gigs. And I go, what? And he goes, oh, yeah, man. You're at Universal Studios. You've got plenty of money coming in. Yeah. He goes, you got that Wolverine cash. He goes, I'm struggling. Yeah. And I go, dude, I need the road work too. And he was like, and you were like, yeah, he's trying to tell you that he should come to Santa Fe, Phoenix, whatever. And that was shortly after that. That was the end.

32:27Bobby Lee:That was the end of it. Yeah. Are you enjoying the road now? you know I'll tell you this because it's so exciting to see all these Bobby Lee dates dude yeah you are enjoying it good I'm enjoying it I know it goes on to November and then my special comes out and then I'm gonna take a little breaky break yeah you know what I did today all day was I woke up right next to my girlfriend awesome we went to the pool cool right and we did a lot of ass and grab in the pool yeah I mean I'm a mermaid grab yeah you're a pirate oh so it's role play at the pool is it a public pool it's my pool awesome but it is public it is public yeah you are allowed you are that generous i'm very generous yeah yeah put a sign up come around the back yeah no diarrhea and i realized and i'm eating better so i realized if i can just maintain this lifestyle that's it you're just coasting into the sunset yeah yeah that's all of it that is you've done what haven't you've been doing that what the fuck are you talking you act as if this was like a rarity like woke up late and hung out all day that's all you fucking do i know but every time it happens i go this is what i want well good it's working yeah don't change a thing kid yeah i'm just telling you that could be your future oh yeah i can't wait yeah it does seem there are though but every time i feel like maybe just shutting it down for a minute but then you look at guys i mean rickles went till the end right there's certain people that i think in all of us there's no there's no you get to 60 and you're just like i did it right i think there is Maybe Yeah I think we're both back You mean in six years?

33:56Yeah Six years

33:57Bobby Lee:Shut five years Five He's 55 this year Five years Yeah yeah 55 in like a couple And soon Like how old are you now? 44 Yeah it's like It's happening Yeah it's happening It's wild I mean I coughed And my back hurt today Yeah I literally coughed so hard And then I was like I don't think I'm gonna be able To make the podcast But um I've done this before See this right here? Yeah This hurts That's how old I am Yikes Ow You should be like that guy That monk that held his arm above his arm above his head for like 50 years do you know about this guy i could do it for the rest of the podcast look at this yeah the monk you could never a monk or a hardy amar bahardi uh 50 years 1973 has not lowered it for 50 years wow look at this the fuck do you just pull where did you hear this and why did you absorb it and go someday i'm gonna bring this up yeah like how do i know about august 12th but you don't but now i'm hearing this and august 12th isn't real this is real no that's not it can't be real 100 this is real 50 years yeah yeah look at his fucking arm oh my god no no no yeah you're right same guy that's that's like one of these before and after cream commercials yeah like that's not the same guy you know these are different oh look at that oh look at him smoking some that's why he smoked so much pot he just forgot that look at the fingers he just zoom in on the fingers he needs a fucking manicure dude yeah that's wild look at that look at the blackmail fingered by that guy let's move on ladies ladies yeah this This guy held it for 50, how did I hear about this?

35:19Bobby Lee:I listen to these podcasts, these like weird intricate podcasts my wife gives me and it's all got these weird little quirky stories in it. And this was one of them. What are they, self-help or just like NPR, like world human interest stories? Yeah, human interest stories about the patience and the display of his beliefs and all this stuff and what lengths people go to to carry out their truth. Yeah. Right? Like pitting your openers against one another, someone's truth. someone's truth. You can find the truth in that. Wait, Andrew and I were talking about, you know, there's black don't crack. What is the Asian version?

35:53Yeah, we couldn't. Don't raisin. Asian don't raisin. That's right. Is that the only, that's just, that's what it is. Well, I'm not the president of Asia. You'd have to ask the. Yellow is mellow. Yellow is mellow. Yeah, that was in the 70s. No, that's Mountain Dew. Or that was yellow mellow. Yellow mellow. We're very mellow. Look at me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not mellow? You can be. Yeah, yeah. Am I mellow right now?

36:16Bobby Lee:For five seconds ago, you weren't. But there are times I can go yellow mellow. You do go yellow mellow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And white, what a plight. Yeah. Is that hard? White, what a plight. I think at 60. White, it's going to be all right. It's going to be all right. Yeah. When you see me at 60 is when you're going to see the deterioration of my body. That's not true. I think we saw it. But wait, you mean like full beard? like yeah you're gonna go oh he's now in the twilight you're gonna be pat marita oh my god yeah you'll turn into pat marita because pat aged very gracefully i think you'll do the same but he had alcoholism well you're an addict i know but i don't i'm not an active but he wasn't active when he was on his end of his life he was oh he was yeah i thought he got clean he drank till the end yeah he drank how old did pat marita live until i'm gonna i'm gonna guess 77 76 86 he's gotta be getting to his 80s.

37:09Bobby Lee:Wow, look at it. It said Patrick Swayze first. The internet's all hopped. Look at it. He died at 73 years old. Wow. Wow. Terrible. It's awful. Wake up Pat Morita alcoholism. Karate Kid and Happy Days. Only two things he's known for. I know. What else do you need? Wow. I mean, Karate Kid, look, battled severe lifelong struggle with alcoholism and began during his childhood, ultimately contributed to his death 73 years old in 2005. Most of his adult life while concealing the heavy toll it took on his personal relationships and also his career. Well, I got to tell you, big fan. But does it say that he had alcoholism or no?

37:42Bobby Lee:It did. That's what I just said. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it started as a child. Would you take - At 12. He started drinking at 12. Yeah. Wow. Riddle me this, Bob. If you got approached by, I don't know, Christopher Nolan, and there's probably a different director that - Yes. Okay, bad example. Ben Schwartz. No. Okay. You don't even know what it is. I don't even know what the Pat Morita story and you're playing Pat. It's too difficult of a role, I think. You think? I think you could do it. In what way would it be difficult? Yeah. Is it a silent film?

38:17Bobby Lee:Dude. Bobby would kill silent film. That is so funny. Climbing up a rope. They caught him. Oh, no, it's a surprise. He's doing a kid's party. He's running away. He's being chased by the kid. They got him. I forgot my car. Oh, he has nice tits. Oh, I'm going to suck off this fucking orange Julius. hey fuck you kid stabbing a man cutting his throat and then squeezing tit milk and cool whip all over it perfect can we get another suggestion from the audience we are mixed nuts I could be a nice guy can I be a nice guy yeah be a nice guy picking up a box taking out drinks serving drinks I think he's at a movie theater by himself licking his tits again always licking his tits I mean it always goes back to tit licking that's my go to that's my go to why wouldn't you do the Pat Morita story I think that's you really could You would rip that.

39:04Because you come from addiction,

39:07Bobby Lee:so you could rip it. Oh, okay. They're never going to give it to me. Stop this bullshit. Who else, who would get it above you? Ronnie Chang. Oh, Ronnie Chang. Yeah, all those guys would get it before me. Jimmy O. Yang. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, we can keep going. There's so many. Yeah. So many talented Asian guys right now. I mean, the Koreans are killing it in film, and they would find any good career. Yeah. It'd be hard to compete. But don't, you know all the guys now, right? All the film. I do, I do, I do. I mean, I had a call, a text maybe a year ago from a guy that's doing very well. And he goes - John Chu.

39:37You wanna do something? I go - Spacey called him. But it never happened. Spacey's back by the way. He is back. Never happened? No.

39:44Bobby Lee:That happens all the time. That's Hollywood, baby. Welcome to the real world. Hey, you got a call and it didn't pan out? Grab a number. I know. You know what? I'm getting used to the denial. Yeah. Shut the fuck up. I am used to it. You're cruising at the highest altitude right now. You're on a rocket ship that is full of fuel, baby. Yeah, you're on a Concorde. I'm on a fucking Cessna. I feel a downward trajectory, I'll be honest. I have to stay below altitude. You're on a fucking flying jet around the world. So many different chapters, huh? This guy, he's working. I've had so many chapters. What's your favorite chapter?

40:13This is the final one. Awesome. This final one is already the best chapter. This isn't the final chapter for you. It could be.

40:20Bobby Lee:Epilogue? This is the epilogue you think? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'll tell you, I'm going to say something cheesy. I'll bring it on. But I was in bed with my girlfriend. What are you listening to? In my mind? No, like in the What's playing Oingo Bongo Oingo Bongo It's always on Yeah It's always on And Because you don't seem like a just We're gonna listen to each other breathe type guy Yeah, also Not just Oingo Bongo I have Weird Science playing in the back The movie Weird Science Weird Science

40:51I'll only have sex with my wife

40:53Bobby Lee:With Comics Unleashed on in the back Yeah, yeah I have to Just because So Andrew, I heard you like to fuck Blue Truth

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42:06Bobby Lee:Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. We want to thank BlueChew for sponsoring the pod and the bedroom. Shopify! We love Shopify because we have an online business here at Bad Friends. That's exactly right. And we sell merch. We do. And we use Shopify for our little template here, baby. Shopify helps us stay up to date with our business even when things get super busy. When we're going on tour, we're on the road, Bobby's traveling, shooting one of his 50 ,000 movies or TV shows. It makes it so much easier for us because Shopify, it's easy to use. You can launch your store and start selling whatever you're selling in a few simple steps, whether it's trinkets, knickknacks, bongos, or Yagados.

42:42Bobby Lee:They've got you. I've been selling Yagados. And they're selling off the shelf. Oh, my God. And they don't even belong on a shelf. Yagados belong on the floor. On the floor. Thanks to Shopify. Yeah. You're selling like crazy. With the mongrels. With the mongrels. Yeah. They love the Yagados. So Shopify design templates and AI site builder. Makes setting up the perfect storefront so very easy. And also, what do they got? They got the ShopPay. ShopPay. And the purple button is what I like. He loves ShopPay. It's the easiest checkout on the entire market. By the way, this makes it so you're not going to have abandoned carts or lost potential shoppers for whatever you're selling.

43:15Bobby Lee:If you're ready to hear the... Cha-ching! ...of your first sale today, why don't you head over to Shopify.com slash BadFriends and start your free trial today. Start your free trial. That's right. Start your free trial today at Shopify.com slash BadFriends. at shopify.com slash bad friends ca-ching ca-chava ca-chava baby ca-chava is so delicious Bobby and I have been drinking this for a long time and nostalgia has a flavor and benefits with ca-chava's cinnamon french toast you know what Andrew it's so good not only is it good I love flavor yeah you do you're a big flavor guy I'm a flavor king I don't care what you say you are the flavor king and let me tell you that cinnamon french toast from ca-chava is so delicious you can't even speak it's so good I get so excited because my energy, my digestion, my strength, and my metabolism is in full effect, especially my cognitive ability and immunity.

44:05Bobby Lee:Well, it doesn't sound like the cognitive thing has kicked in yet, but just two scoops provide complete nutrition. Your body craves a protein, fiber, greens, and so much more. We've talked about them so much. They provide clean nutrition to fuel whatever your day takes you. No fillers, okay? No nonsense. I'm tired of these phony, phony balonies out there pushing nonsense in there. This is natural and good. Treat yourself to a childhood favor. Go to cachava.com. use code BADFRIENDS for 15 % off your first order. So many flavors to choose from, like Bobby said, by the way. And you can combine them.

44:34Bobby Lee:Chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, acai, strawberry, coffee, chocolate mint, and of course, the all new cinnamon French toast. Cinnamon French toast is so good. That's cachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A.com. The code is BADFRIENDS. You're like, I'm actually doing it right now, Byron. Thanks for chiming in. Go ahead, Bobby. But this could be the last, and if it's the last hurrah. But you guys were laying there. Yeah, and I memorized her like the twinkle in her eye. Wow. Yeah, and just our faces, you know how many touching. Wow. You know? Look at you. And a little. Oh, back to the tits. So close, we were so close.

45:12I couldn't get there. I couldn't get there. By the way, I'm the casting director for the Padme Reader story. Thank you so much. I think we got it. Not good, not good? Next time if you wanna come back, the lines are wax on, wax off. Fuck yeah, yeah. we got it we got it we'll hit up Abby or Melanie whoever the fuck yeah thank you so much thank you so much thank you so much yeah you can stop doing that we got that

45:35Bobby Lee:that'd probably get him the role they go he understands Pat so well he licked his own tits for five minutes you never met him I met him he was just that's so funny you never met him you get in a fight with a gas director you guys never met him how do you know he didn't do that he could have he could have rest in peace pat those types of things too in auditions right you always hear about those guys that did the wacky shit my mom used to read so many of those stories of like you know ving rames took his cock out or something like like some sort of crazy or henry winkler you know did a tap dance when the scene didn't call for it you know but he thought his character did it just all these weird little like go above and beyond step outside the box yeah and and then they got tired of that yeah and they were like stay inside of the box stay inside the box Do the stuff.

46:20Bobby Lee:What's his name? TJ Miller brought a bear to the Yogi Bear audition. That's how he got it. Well, for Bruno, I auditioned, and I was wearing short, like, jean shorts. Yeah. And I pull a testicle out. Oh. And I came in that way. Yeah. Because it was Sasha. That's so funny. And I came. The reason why I got the dictator is because he felt bad that I didn't get the Bruno. Awesome. Yeah. No, because Bruno would have been better, I think. Dictator was pretty great. It doesn't matter. It was great either way. It's my story. Yeah. Yeah. It's my story, yeah. What do you care more about? Making it to the world or making, being - Well, let's define the definition of making it.

46:58Being respected by your peers. You know, I think I have a combination of both, to be honest with you. You do. Yeah. It's 90-10, though, for Bob. It's 90 % peers.

47:06Bobby Lee:90 % peers, 10 % world. Yeah. You think so? Yeah. I think so. And that 10 % of the world doesn't like you that much. Yeah. So it's really - They love you. They love you. So you're saying, well, I don't like to pull it back and forth, back and forth. Welcome to Hollywood. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like to be real about things. Okay, be real. Yeah, you like to be real? You were sucking your tits four seconds ago. Shut the fuck up. I like to be real. Cut back. I like to be real about stuff. Okay, my bad. No, here's what it really is. He cares as much about the fan adoration as he does about the respect of his peers.

47:37Bobby Lee:It's a 50-50 split. It's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is. I think you do. You care way more about that. Yeah. Wait, you're talking to Maren about the community. What do you mean? We're talking about, no, we were talking last night about the store, about people going over their time in the store. We called out some people. Oh man, I could talk about that for days. It's gotten out of control. Who are we talking about? Well, last night, Jay, Howie Mandel, and Russell Peters, we called Mark to talk about it. And then he called - Howie Mandel. Howie Mandel to talk about it and how he admitted it. Well, it was a horribly funny show, right?

48:02Bobby Lee:Yeah, it was, Jay. So they give me, so I get the call from Greg, right? Yeah. Greg calls me up and he's a good guy, he's a good guy. And so he calls me up and I go, he goes, hey, we're doing horribly funny, horribly funny, the comics. And I go, yeah, we're going, come on. You know, I don't want to get out, I'm going to say, And I go, who's gonna be there? And he goes, Anderson, Dino, how are we gonna be there? And I get down there and I go, I'd like to do 20 minutes. I'd like to do 20 minutes. You know, we all know that 20th. We all know that 20th. You know, excuse me, come over here in the. Ooh, not bad.

48:26Why do you wanna come over here?

48:27Bobby Lee:It's so bad. He's doing such a good job and you're just killing it. I'm trying to learn how to do impressive. Fuck you, man. It's so bad. I'm trying to learn. Okay, do it, go, learn, go. I'm in J-Leno. It's actually not bad. Yeah, I think that's pretty good. You have to listen, you have to hide it. Jay Reno. Jay Reno, that's a mad TV character. Which is also Jamie Reno. You know, I lose confidence because of you. Good. I lose confidence because of you. You have too fucking much. No, I don't. You live up here all the time. That's how you walk around. This is you. This is you. This is literally you on the internet.

49:00Bobby Lee:Everything. That's you too confident. Okay. He does Jay Leno. You don't do it. I want to do it.

49:10Can you imagine if he just fucking petered out on his own show So funny Do another one, I can do any impersonation

49:16Bobby Lee:Anything Adam can do, you can do? I do an impersonation, yeah Do Tony Danza Hey Bobby Lee Hey Bobby Lee Come and welcome to the show Tony Danza show Hey the Tony Danza show Angela, Angela come over here Hey Jonathan, you there man? Rudy! No, that's a different show. He's doing Tony Downza. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you do Bill Cosby? I can do Bill Cosby. They all sound the same. Give me the pudding and the pudding pops. Wait, how about this? Can you do Master Splinter from Ninja Turtles? That one's yours. That's right. That's for you. Bobby. Yes. Bobby. Yes. I said twice. You were going to be the fifth Ninja Turtle, but we couldn't find enough ooze to make you funnier.

50:04Okay. So what am I? You are one of super shredders. I'm a super shredder.

50:13Bobby Lee:How did you make it Asian? You made it more Asian somehow. He was going there. I had to feed him to it. Splinter Asian? Yeah. Splinter, was he Asian? He was Asian. It was a rat sensei. Yeah, he was Asian. Yeah. Splinter. Karate rat? That's Asian, dude. Look at those eyes, baby. Gotta be. Gotta be. Yeah. You know who does the voice of Splinter? Who? The same guy who does the voice of Elmo Kevin Clash I know Kevin Clash Did you see the documentaries? Yes, it was incredible Finding Elmo Incredible Elmo No, Finding Emo Elmo started an emo band It was dashboard Confessing on It was dashboard Confessing on It was dashboard casual It was dashboard casual Sum 41 Yeah He started an emo band Emo Elmo Wait, if it's Elmo Following around My girlfriend Doesn't love me anymore Yeah Yeah, that's Kevin He also did Splinter?

50:59Yeah Wow Kevin Clash is very talented Very talented Came from Baltimore Did not know that Did he not? Did you Google it? I don't know

51:10Bobby Lee:How do you know that? I saw the documentary Oh right It's so good that documentary Wait can you do it Joe Biden? It doesn't be challenging But you have to do it first Bobby Hey What? What? I'm here We're doing it Come on Yeah Under my administration We're the first black old mermaid Black vermin You know, I don't know if it's your physical features, but you've made all of these Asian, even if they aren't. Well, then forget it. I don't have any support from you ever creatively. When it comes to impressions, no. All right. Well, then I can sing. Let's hear. Can you sing? What? I am. That was just me warming up.

51:51Okay. Oh, my God. You're on the voice. Everyone's like just turning around so fast. Guys, I was warming up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I love it. Go. Go ahead.

52:11Somewhere over the rainbow. Yeah.

52:17Bobby Lee:Ah, tits. Right to tits. All right. The kid loves the tits. He did grow up in Baltimore, Maryland. Shout out to Kevin Clash. Yeah. Sesame Street. I would love to know what the residuals look like for fucking Elmo. Well he's the executive producer of Can you imagine? Of Sesame Street It's gotta be the most sold doll in Sesame Street history But you know the story behind it right Is Elmo was a thing before Right and they kept passing the doll around Oh yes yes yes And then one guy threw it at Kevin Clash And Kevin was a young you know black Puppeteer And he was like you're giving me this I don't know what to do with it And he went home and he kind of Because he used to have a gritty voice Yes I remember like Oscar the Grouch type Oscar the Grouchy type of character.

53:01And he goes - I love that you know this. The foundation of Elmo is going to be love. Innocence, yeah. Love and pure innocence. Yeah. And he approached it from that direction and he created the voice. That's pretty beautiful. Very special. Remember when we went and saw the Mr. Rogers movie and both cried, but we were four seats apart? Why were we four seats apart? I don't know. Did I buy four seats? Yeah, you like your space. Yeah, yeah. It's like you treat movies like Maggiano's. Yeah. You get a little extra space. I do. Yeah. Yeah, you sit over there. I got all these. Is that what happened? Yeah, well, we both cried, I remember.

53:33Is that what we did have a separation? Like maybe one or two. Okay, okay. But I think it's because there was no one in the field. Okay, good. Yeah, yeah. But you looked over at me and you were like, you're crying, right? And I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah, I cried. You got it, Mr. Rogers. Yeah, it was the documentary, right? We cried together. So beautiful. You don't cry at movies, do you? It's the last movie you cried in.

53:54Bobby Lee:Oh, I know what. I know, we already started. Project Hail Mary. Hail Mary, I cried pretty hard at it. I cried a lot at

54:02Bobby Lee:Everything Everywhere All at Once. Oof, yeah. I cried about five times in that fucking movie. That was a great movie. And then I cried probably the hardest that I've cried. I know what. What? The Rental movie. Huh? Rental Family? Brendan Fraser. I remember. Bald. Yeah. It was so fucking beautiful. Did you ever see that? It was so fucking good. So underrated. It's an incredible story. Brenda Fisher plays this actor who moves to Japan to try to reinvigorate his career because he can't get work in LA anymore. And then he finds like a job, which is him being a rental friend basically. And they rent you out for a companionship.

54:39Bobby Lee:And this connection and this, dude, it's - Oh my God. Absolutely stunning. That's great. One of the best cries I've ever had. One of the best like heartwarming film. I also cried - Ernest Goes to Jail? Bald. No, Camp. Camp. Camp. All those earnest movies I grew up with. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Jim Varney. Jim Varney, yeah. No, what were you going to say? Genius. Jim Varney was a fucking genius. He was. I don't think we're ever... Characters that get to make films like Ace Ventura, like characters that you really believed were human beings. Yeah. I don't know if that's ever going to happen again.

55:12What's the budget of those movies? 70 grand. I used to memorize Ace Ventura, like long paragraph pieces of dialogue and recite it to Friends on the Bus. Oh, dude. I fucking loved that movie. 3.5 million and they grossed 23 million and this is in the 80s by 23 million in the 80s yeah so that's like 60 million now what did he got for that not a lot i don't imagine they paid him a

55:37Bobby Lee:lot back then they probably didn't get anything up front he probably got all of his money on the back end sales yeah but that did a lot vhs yeah that's what i'm saying but i'm saying for the film he probably got i don't know maybe 200 grand or something because who else did like 100 grand like who else created a character to where it was just like now he's going to camp then he's going to alaska then he's going to the bunny ranch then he's going to fucking you know wild waves and he's so good he just went to every place and it was like just drop the guy and it's fish out of water right yeah fish out yeah that's crazy what is let's think of some in space would they do they probably did space ernest goes to space yeah i think no they did muppets in space they did apollo 13 i'm talking about ernest oh gotcha yeah okay i'm talking about fucking ernest right now it's kind of a human muppet okay so um it's so funny was it a play hey verne it's outer space hey Vern it's outer space they did go to outer space Ernest goes to space never produces a feature length although an outer space themed episode aired during the character's 1988 Saturday morning television series hey Vern it's Ernest wow Ernest P.

56:33Bobby Lee:Worrell when did he die not too long ago I'm going to say 2004 I'm going to go 7 7 8 2000 hey go back to that real fast 50? Yeah. This is an exploration. Smoking, he smoked a lot. You can hear from that voice, man. He heard it fucking. Yeah, man. Now, was this a clever writing? If you zoom in on his name is Ernest P. Worrell. So, Ernest, when someone is Ernest. And Worrell, is that a play on worry or worrier or worrying? He was like an Ernest warrior. That's not the Dead Sea Scrolls. What are you doing? You don't think many times they're trying to interject that into the film? I don't think it needs one.

57:15Bobby Lee:Why Ernest? I think they write in a minute. Have you ever heard Ernest before as a name? They don't throw that into many scripts. Ernest. What are you getting so aggressive from me for? You came at me, bitch. You said this isn't the Dead Sea Scrolls. Don't fucking start with me. The space movie was unmade, but some fans think Rocket Man may have been. Oh, that by Harland, our boy. Yeah. Such a good fucking movie. Yeah, it's so good. The reason I bring this up is because I read an article one time that went in the depths of Truman, of the Truman Show, and the meaning was true man, every man. He was supposed to represent every man on Earth.

57:46Oh, that's deep.

57:47Bobby Lee:and how he was representative. We all feel trapped and a part of something else. And we're all trying to find the real us as life goes on. And most of the time, it's right in front of your face. You're doing facial stuff, huh? I see your face. You're doing facial stuff. Like getting facials? You're getting some deep facial work. Your skin is almost too perfect. No, I shaved yesterday. There's something rosy about your face. Very healthy. Well, he's going to be a dad soon. Maybe that's it. Yeah. Have you announced that? Yeah. Oh, you've talked about it. Baby girl. Yeah. I don't know if you talked about it on pods or anything like that.

58:18No. Did you do the test? So here we go. Did you do the test? Yeah, we'll find out who the father is in like six weeks. No, no, no.

58:23Bobby Lee:That's not what I'm talking about. Can I tell you? I think I know. Yeah. Mark Maron. Dean Del Rey. Eric Griffin. Oh, yeah, dude. Payback for taking San Jose. Fuck your wife. You know how much I love that club? She loves motorcycles. Are you excited? I'm very excited. I'm terrified, but I'm excited. Yeah. But I think it'll be good. You can do a great job. I'm going to be silly. I'm going to be patient. I'm going to be all about it, but I don't know. Who knows? You know? We know. I know. It's going to be awesome. It's going to be disaster. You're going to be twice, if not three times, the father that Andres is.

58:55Bobby Lee:That's a fact. Yeah. That's not too much, though. Are you dead? Yeah. He's got a beautiful daughter. Wow. Like such a sweet little. And she's bilingual. Cool. She's bilingual. And so he gets mad because she'll answer. She hears in Spanish, but answers in English. And so they're trying to curb that. Wow. And what did she say? Will you do the thing? You want to talk about making me cry? She loves this. Here, you want to make me cry right now? Tell them what you told me off the air about her. What's Bobby doing here? And I say, well, he has a headache. What's Andrew doing here? She's so cute. She's wanting to know what we're up to.

59:31Bobby Lee:How old is she? She's three. Three. And she hears us in the background at their house. So she'll go, that's Bobby. Yeah. That's Bobby with Andrew. Yeah. Andrew's mad at Bobby again. that's what she says in the living room wow so yeah she gets to be part of my mental health so what I have at my house Esther brings her kids over Kalilah brings her son over we have a little pool party now you're invited Saturdays at 9 now they have a kid don't bring a cat because there's red-tailed hawks in the bathroom yeah yeah yeah don't bring your cat you don't have a cat you guys have a dog two dogs I got attacked by my sister's cat when I was in eighth grade and that solidified me, cats.

1:00:14No, oh God.

1:00:18Bobby Lee:That's fucking wild. When you get hissed at by a cat. Yeah, it's the worst. Cause they click before to let you know. Yep. Yep. And then it just hopped. By the way, I'm sitting there eating a cup of soup. Oh, this story gets good actually. I forgot this is what happened. I'm sitting there eating a cup of soup by myself. Mom's out working, sister's out smoking or whatever getting fingered and i'm sitting there and i'm eating my cup of soup she's getting fingered she had a wild okay couple years in high school yeah but now she's great now she's great still getting fingered though yeah yeah by dirt day my white rapper brother-in-law and so i'm eating um shout out shout out it's the check out his music uh just look up dirt day so i'm eating the cup of soup don't and i'm watching i'm watching i'm watching saved by the bell the college years most likely and i hear and i look over like that and i'm sitting there and i'm like mid bite and it's fresh i've taken maybe two bites it's so hot this thing lunges at me and what what there's there's no defense there's it's in my lap so i put my hands up because i'm like i gotta stop saying boom spilled i mean soup cock oh yeah yeah just fall on fox yeah and hold on hosting it joel mccann uh spilled I don't want to say third degree burns, but I mean, it was bad for at least probably three days.

1:01:34And then the cat. So not only is the cat. So spilled. And then the cat's on me clawing. And then, you know, the worst things my sister, you know, gets home and I'm telling her what happened. And she's like, no way. He wouldn't do that. And I'm like, fuck. I had cams. Let me ask you a question. Yeah. Let's say I work for National Geographic. Imagine. Imagine if you do that. Oh, my God. I would love you directing.

1:01:54Bobby Lee:Bobby, you can't keep turning in articles about poop. We're going to have to get something else. Bobby's looking over at all the African women being like, I have a tiger sanctuary, actually. I changed it. My God, can you imagine? Go on. Right, and I raise cubs to tigers. So I go out and sleep in the sanctuary with the tiger. They know me, right? But you come over. Yeah. Would you go into the cage? No. Exactly. So why would you eat soup and run a fucking free cat? When has ever there been - This makes perfect sense. Wait, what the fuck are you talking? Wait, what? When has eating soup in front of a cat been an issue?

1:02:31It's an old, it's an old, look it up, look it up.

1:02:34Bobby Lee:You're not supposed to eat soup in front of cats. It's like showing red to a bull. Yeah. This is a real thing. Once you let the cat out of the bag, you can't eat soup in front of it. You can eat soup in front of your cat, but you must keep the bull completely out of their reach. Yeah, you didn't do that. You didn't do that. That was your fault. That's your fault. That's your fault. Out of reach. But not because it's going to attack you, because it makes me insert. Adam, it's our show. The internet. The internet says what it says. Yeah, it says what it says. Can cats eat chicken little soup? And was it chicken?

1:02:59Bobby Lee:Was it Campbell's Chunky? Yeah. It was cup of soup. Cup of soup. Okay. By Campbell's, no less. They did cup of soup. They did cup of soup. Wow. Yeah. She had a cup of soup. So go back. Look at this. Stop right there. Right there. Go in. No, go back, my friend. Go back when you were there. So zoom in. Garlic and onions. These belong to the allium plant family and destroy a cat's, destroy the screen's cutting on. Red blood cells. Destroy a cat's red blood cells. Severe anemia. So it was threatened by you. So you were eating something that was going to hurt it. So it saw you as a threat. Now, looking back.

1:03:29Bobby Lee:I'm team cat. I'm team cat over team Adam. Good, good, good. But looking back, I might have egged the cat on because I was like. Oh, see, yeah. Oh, call back to my thing. So I did. There might have been a little bit of encouragement on my part. You can't egg. Warrant the violence. Yeah, okay. You can't egg. But, you know, I raised my cats. And I know my cats. Do you raise them or do they just egg them? No, I have three cats. I raised them as they were the kittens. He did. He breastfed them. Did you really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. And it hurt so bad. You know, and no milk comes out of here too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:04:02That's by the way, I'm a man. Oh, I've read your blogs. Yuzu comes out of there. Yeah. Hey, fuck. All right. All right. All right. Oh, you sound like a cat. All right. What I'm saying is if I had to sink a lion sanctuary, you wouldn't go into the cage. No, no, no. No, of course not. Because you should be mindful and be aware of your surroundings. Oh, I get fired up when I see kids tapping on the protective shield of the zoo. It's like, I almost want those gorillas to break it down and just wrap it up.

1:04:31Bobby Lee:I'll go one step further. Shut down the zoos. Yeah, me too. Don't need them. Yeah, you really - SeaWorld especially. Shut that the fuck down. How is that still going? I mean - I don't know, but San Diego is home to SeaWorld and the biggest, most popular zoo in the United States. You ever see Blackfish, Guy? Well, I don't see color, but I have - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen regular fish. The documentary Blackfish. It's a white fish doing blackface. You ever see this documentary? Tonight, we have a white fish sashimi in blackface. good is that new style the new style okay that's crazy blackfish is wild you ever see this documentary is what i'm saying it's so it's unbelievable i mean you saw this yes yeah it's so heartbreaking yeah it's traumatizing when when a mother can't get a hold of his kid when they get separated you

1:05:19you know yeah okay forget it no no i was on so i was in full support I'm off I'm off I went you're good have you ever been to the San Diego the wild animal park like have you done the tour no when I was down there one time I we went and we went on the tour and you have this young you know I was a tour guide Universal Studios and so I'm already empathetic of course you are I'm already empathetic to the tour guide people because I'm like it's such a tough job because you're delayed you're backed up but at the zoo this guy is calling attention to animals that 87 percent of the time are like I'm gonna fucking take a nap yeah I'm tired inside So this kid couldn't have been older than 24.

1:05:56We're going around, you can tell it's like fourth or fifth day. And he's like, guys, my name is Brian and welcome to the San Diego Wild Animal Kingdom tour. Who's ready to see some creatures? We're going around like, yeah, yeah. And we go and he's like, if you guys, oh my God. We're gonna, our first stop is Tony the Tiger. Not the Frosted Flakes guy, but he might enjoy a bowl of fun if you guys get close enough. Look over there. Tony is right next to that big tree. Oh, don't really see him. Well, you know what? We're going to do a loop on the back and we'll see if we can see Tony next time. And if you look over here, you're going to see Hank the hippo.

1:06:26Hank has a sister named Henrietta and they came over from Zimbabwe. Look over in that creek. There is a couple little, no, fuck it. Well, Google a picture of a hippo. And he just like kept struggling and we didn't see anything. No. Every stop. And you could hear, you know, at a certain point he would, you know, he was just scrambling. He was like, there's a Latino family sharing a churro, you know, just to like call attention to something. And you could hear people on the tram, like getting restless, like this fucking shit sucks. $300 to ride that thing The zoo is a scam

1:06:54Bobby Lee:It's a scam And it should be shut down immediately Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa There you go It's Tony Tough Eyes Remember Who To Tootie? Yeah, Who To Tootie You remember him? How could I forget? Yeah You don't do like this You're like an eagle You were smoking inside the gym I know I do what I want You did smoke in that gym Yeah, you smoked in there I didn't get in trouble How did we end up in that gym after hours? How did you get us in there? Pull that up There's one line that Bobby has in that uh i don't know we my friend's wife it was olympic we did an olympic submission tape taught classes in it it's such a fucking insane but oh yeah your friend taught classes yeah yeah so that's how we got to run up and he was spitting on us and choking us out it was so fucking fun dude it was the most fun yeah click of the video what what year was that adam do you remember oh man 2012 yeah yeah 10 to 12 yeah yeah i'm time i'm brent and we got a coach 13 years ago Wow Look at that It's a nice

1:08:00Oh my god Hurt my hip Yeah Smoking in the fucking gym It's the My name Junior For 20 years I have my name quick list say i train olympic anything watch your back no you got to be graceful like an eagle like an eagle hey come down here come down here grab the mice cock i tell you right eagle Out your back. You don't do nothing like that. I don't know what that means. Look. I come from very athletic people. No, no, no, no, no. I tell you. You look all up. You don't listen to anything. Get back up there. Tell the guy that. You don't remember you born with the champion. In your heart. No one take it away.

1:08:59You can lick a lemur. Lemur. God, I hurt. This tackle.

1:09:07You listen to nothing, man.

1:09:10Bobby Lee:You kick him so hard. I remember how hard that was. Oh, yeah, dude. Oh, my God. You don't need to do nothing. You can smoke. Drink. Do drugs. This, do drugs. In your heart, you have to believe. Let me help you. Nothing! I don't know you! You don't need to. Oh, my God. All right, get it out of here. Oh my God. Good day. Some of our work, some of our work. We should do a part two. We could, we should. We should gotta get back out to the Olympics. Did we ever make it? They would take you guys to the Olympics. We didn't make it. We never made it. Go do some of that peacock coverage though. Never made it, they didn't pick it up.

1:09:48Bobby Lee:NBC's gonna pick us up from that. Guys, we saw the submission tape. We gotta work with these guys. We couldn't believe it. It's unreal. Would you mind joining Snoop and Martha Stewart at the panel? Dude, that is, what a revolution. Snoop was like, fuck them hoes. And now my grandmother is like, I love Snoop. Yeah.

1:10:05Bobby Lee:Because he lasted so long on such a commercial level that he just won over everybody. He wasn't just a rapper at some point. He was a personality. Yeah. And it just, look at that. He's at the, he's at like Churchill Downs. Yeah. It's insane. Look at it. High as balls right there. You know, I smoked weed with Snoop. No, you didn't. Yeah, I smoked weed with Snoop. All I want to do, just once. Yeah. Yeah, and he couldn't keep up. With you. Yeah, he bailed out. You could smoke a lot. Huh? Can you smoke a lot? No, dude, I'm exaggerating. Of course he could fucking keep up. He smokes circles around the sky.

1:10:36Bobby Lee:It's all he does all day. I think the only guy to compete with him would be Wiz Khalifa. Or Doug Benson. I think Wiz smokes the most pot on planet Earth. Does he really? I don't think I've... We shot an episode of Punk'd with that guy and he was chain smoking joints. It was just joints, just joints, just joints. It was chain smoke. So he'd light another one with another one. They didn't have a guy, he'd hand it to him. He'd hand it back, he'd smoke it. Then someone would light a new one. I never not saw him with weed. It was impressive. You were like, are you high? Are you high? Or he's funk just...

1:11:03He was just functioning. That is one of the best parts of sleeping next to a man. It's like when I'll get high, like her pregnant cravings are out of control. So I'll be baked. And then she's like, oh my God, we should get a pepperoni pizza with hot fudge and a baked potato. And I'm just like, that's exactly what I want. I already ordered it. I already ordered it. I already ordered it. What I remember, that kind of meal is very good. When you're high. Oh yeah. You had your day in the sun, huh? He did. What would be your go-to Stoney snack?

1:11:33Bobby Lee:It was actually in the dark. It was in his room with poop all over the walls. That's fine. Hey, dude, sometimes people like to paint. Thank you. We'll get creative. Thank you. Hey, when you would smoke, what would be your move? FIFA for hours or movies for hours? Movies for hours. Okay. Yeah. Would you play a little video games high? I would as well, yeah. Because some of those - Well, I used to farm a lot. Yeah? You still farm. I still farm. That's the game. What is it? Farmate? Stardew Valley. I don't know what you just said. Stardew Valley. It doesn't matter. Yes, it does matter. It does matter.

1:12:02Yes, it does matter to me. I'm joking. Okay? No, no, no. I want you to sit in this. No, no. Fuck you. What do you have? What are your crops like? No, no. What are your crops like? It's Stardew Valley. Say it. Stardew Valley. Vegantic melons. Yeah. Big melons. Summer melons. Yeah. A lot of bok choy. A lot of bok choy. There's some bok choy in the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. There's carrots. I love that. Yeah. There's apples. Standard farm. The apple tree. Yeah. Standard farm. Yeah. Standard internet farm. there's a melon standard internet farm standard fake farm yeah yeah that's the melon look at that what's the name of your farm it's a tiger belly farm I'm sorry cool that's fine hey hey every opportunity hey every opportunity is a breaking opportunity I don't know the owner the guy that created the game saw my farm and he goes that's one of the best farms I've ever seen so I don't know what you're saying drought wait a second I love that dude you just got so genuinely defensive and proud in this moment and I love that for you Eric Barone He came on the Tiger Belly Saw my farm And he goes That was the most amazing farm ever seen Good for you man There he is How does that feel?

1:13:04Okay it feels good And then he had a symphony At the Greek theater and I went That guy conducts a symphony? He wrote all the music for the video game And they made a symphony out of it Wow That's in your face Bobby I would love to have you on the show at some point You're just one of the funniest people I know But also respectfully Dude I don't give a fuck Yeah I'm not doing it Great Yeah yeah Great Can I tell you the reasons though? No, I'm alright. No, no, no, no. I'm going to tell you the reasons. Yeah, of course. May I tell you the reasons?

1:13:30Bobby Lee:Yeah. Thank you for being a bad friend.

1:14:00I'm not going to do that.

1:14:01Bobby Lee:I am selling the building. The final season of FX is the Bear. The restaurant is flooded. Everything's either gonna be okay. No, stop. Or not. We are outgunned and we are outmanned. We have each other. FX is the Bear, the final season. All episodes now streaming on Disney+.