Coffee In the Pool w/ the Island Girls

18:06Bobby Lee:Come to Trivionite at the local pub. You're running for like state something state government. That's insane. Girls how are you? We're good. New glasses? No. I just wear contacts. You never wear that? I've never seen you in those. Have you worn these to the show? No No I've never seen those Do you wear contacts Yeah I do What are those Just sunglasses Yeah Let me see Put them on She thinks she's Bono Yeah let me see Bono Let's go Bono Yeah let's go Bono Yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah Where the streets Have no name Say that Where the streets Have Go ahead Where they're from The streets don't have names Yeah they don't Yeah So can I tell you this Something that happened Yeah And just give me Your best judgment As a there's a couple of things i want to say okay okay all right as a compadre yeah as a patriot yeah america first god bless yeah no one's better girls say america first real fast america first thank you okay you don't believe it though yeah there's no belief system now yeah you can tell so um i was uh we were on a little break on our tour so i said to the comedy store and everybody i go you know i'm taking a week off nice i don't understand up i want to relax hang out with my girlfriend hang out with the family all right and i had a friend call and say um you said you were going to be performing a couple of months ago on a saturday night this specific saturday night which is the last night and i go yeah but i'm not you know i didn't call in so but my family's in town you know it's a whole thing that we're coming did you tell her you were going to be there that night a couple of months ago i think she had texted me saying that like are you performing whatever the day it is right so i go oh yeah yeah yeah you know is yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah fuck that's 20 that's 20 dollars yeah that's some of my isms if i give i say them i have to give them i'm calling five dollars anyway so look so i you did may have said which we do all the time they go do you perform on saturday in like august you're like i don't know man it's june may yeah probably i guess i have no idea so that's what happened right i And so all week, this person's like, you're not?

20:19I go, I'm taking a break. You're not? And so finally Friday, which is a couple days ago, I called the Comedy Store Rose. I go, is there any way you can just slot me into the main room at eight? And so when you do that, what do they do? They have to readjust, call everyone and go. Somebody gets bumped. Somebody gets bumped. You know, there's, you know. It happens. Then I go reserve a table. Mitzi's table, they reserved. Very nice. Right? And then I was also invited to, I'm not going to drop my name. Should. I don't want to. Why not? Because I'm going to like you. Oh my God.

20:53Bobby Lee:I mean, people who know, Elmo left five more dollars. Is that close? That's close. That was close enough? All right. Five more dollars. This person invited me, rock star. I can say that. Ace Freely. Close. Okay. Close. Yeah. A guy that's in a band. He was like, hey, do you and your girlfriend or want to hang out and go watch, have dinner and watch a movie. And I said, I can't because I have to do this show Saturday night. Hmm. All right. I mean, no, but go ahead. What would you have said? Yeah, I'd rather hang out with you. I said I would take a week off. That's not what I do. Okay. So you did the show for these people.

21:32So yeah, so I show up at the comedy store and I go to the cover booth and I go, are my people here? And they're like, main room. They're like, they haven't checked in yet, but the show just started. Oh no. I know. And then I'm on stage and you can see Mitzi's section. You see the booth. You see the booth from stage. No one's in there. Oh my God. Okay, no one's in there. Why are you shaking your head? It's crazy. It's crazy. We're in agreeance. It's insane. Right, right, right. And number one, also it's like, they could have sold those seats. Yeah, they could have. For a lot of money. And they're very expensive.

22:02They're very expensive. Those are like nice seats. Right. And then afterwards I go to the cover booth. I go, are you sure? They checked in. They're not in Mitzi's section. and they're like, I'm telling you, no one had a guest list. Did you text her? No, I didn't text her. I just let it go. I went to dinner with my girlfriend afterwards. You didn't even check in with the pizza? I was so mad. I was so mad. I couldn't even text.

22:26Bobby Lee:Okay, time out. Okay. What if they tried to go, their name wasn't on the list and they were like, well, we don't want to bother them and they just left? There's no way that could happen. That definitely can happen. I know, but they have my number directly. But you didn't text her after she didn't show. So maybe she showed up, couldn't get in and didn't want to bother you. The cover booth goes, we promise you no one came up and said we're on Bobby's list. I'm going to tell you what happened. I'm at dinner. She texts us. So I tell her my show is at eight with her, you know, and she at 930. She's like, we were at the store.

23:01We're sorry. Our dinner ran late. And this is why you don't do that. Right. And I go, I didn't respond to it. Good. Then today, what happened? She went over. Came to my house. This woman came to your home? Yeah, she's a dear friend. Oh, I was like, what is going on? Yeah, she came to my home and what? Why don't you love me? Yeah. What? She went with four Lucky Boy burritos. Which is my favorite breakfast burrito. We know. Yeah. And then six fresh eggs from her own chickens. Farm. Yeah. I don't want those. Yeah, I don't want those. I don't do foreign eggs. I don't do eggs that aren't free range.

23:40No, I got a free range. Yeah. Are they free range?

23:42Bobby Lee:No, they're from Northridge. How do you know? You've never been there. They're Northridge range. Northridge, yeah. It's in her backyard. Yeah. Her kid was there. Yeah, her kid was there, yeah. She tried to use that as. As a sympathy card. That's right, yeah. How old is the kid? Six. That's so mean. It's so mean. Boy, a little boy? Girl. Oh, even worse. I love her too. Because she's like, Poppy Poppy, could you see you? Yeah, yeah, it's one of those. Right, so she's playing all this. What I said was, I said. You don't want to see her. I don't want to see her. And I go, say that I left with my girlfriend in her car.

24:10So I was just in my room when they were at the house. Awesome. Right?

24:14Bobby Lee:So she was in your home. She's hearing this now. She's in your home. Yeah. And you never said hi. No way. He never came out? No, so we had to entertain. How long was she there? Like 30 minutes. That's not bad. That's not bad. That's not bad. I, in my mind, was like, she stayed for dinner. Yeah, but you have to understand. That's a horror movie. Yeah. You can't leave your room. Yeah. She's like, you know, I think I'll sleep over. See when he gets back tomorrow. I understand. You're trying to get out of your house. But now while this is happening, I'm sitting in my room on one of my chairs like this.

24:45For 30 minutes. Okay, that's not that bad. Just lay down and. I keep texting. Is she gone yet? They're like, no, she's still here. You could be doing seat ups.

24:56I stopped doing that. Because you know why I stopped doing that? The discouragement. I thought it was 100 a day, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I started doing it. Just in the morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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28:19Bobby Lee:Head over to Superpower.com and use the code BADFRIENDS for$20 off your$199 Superpower membership. And after you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about Superpower. Tell them Bad Friends sent you to support the show. Hexclad, I'm on a new health kick and I've been cooking for the first time. I know, you're a big chef. No, I've been scrambling eggs and I want great cookware. So I got some from Hexclad. And let me tell you something, they're premium stuff. No, it is amazing. By the way, stainless steel works amazing. But cleanup can be very brutal. With Hexclad, they give you a proper sear, great heat control, and the cleanup that doesn't turn into a whole second job after dinner.

28:56Bobby Lee:The greatest part about Hexclad is they sent us these. And when you're cooking, stuff gets stuck to the pan, especially if you're cooking with sauces and all sorts of stuff. And with Hexclad, it does not do that. and they're also oven safe up to 900 degrees. They're awesome. Old nonstick pan scratch, right? They peel, they wear out fast. The heat distribution is terrible. Hexcladdy gives you proper sear, great heat control and cleanup that doesn't turn into a whole second job after dinner. It's literally the last set of pots and pans you're ever going to need to buy. I'm telling you, they sent us some.

29:29Bobby Lee:Thank you so much. Tell them about the 12-piece set. They have this 12-piece set. It's got pots, pans. Well, let me ask you, what else? Is it like, do they have a family-sized stock pot? You better believe it. And every single one of those included in the 12-piece set has its own lid. So don't go through another summer. What about the warranties or warranty? Oh, my God. It's lifetime. Oh, my Lord. It's like I'm a Highlander. I could use it. If I was a Highlander, I could use it for the rest of my life. Don't go through another summer with cookware that makes every meal harder than it needs to be for a limited time only.

29:57Bobby Lee:Our listeners get 10 % off your order with our exclusive link. Just head to hexclad.com slash badfriends. Support our show and check them out at H-E-X-C-L-A-D.com forward slash bad friends. Make sure to let them know we sent you. What is going on here? You know what's going on. I did a book signing. You laugh. You know?

30:22Bobby Lee:You saying I did a book signing is so funny. I know, but it's... Somebody on the internet meme his face. I'm sorry for calling you Pippi up front. That was wrong. I think that's what it is. I apologize. you know what but let me ask you something as my friend who's an author thank you very much

30:40Bobby Lee:stop it okay anyway is anyway is anyway up there what is anyway an ism just a natural transition it's a natural transition yeah so then you can't put any way up there no you can't you can't how am i going to transition then there's no way to transition only okay during transition okay so so this woman was there for 30 minutes and then how did you get did you say goodbye how did she yeah because we're really close with her oh okay you know her well enough she's family well she's so close that you lied to her and didn't see her while she was at your home i mean she must be close friends well because i was i would be enraged you're right would you be enraged i'll tell you something they wouldn't be in my home that's what i'm saying i would call and go hey man you bailed they saved that seat that's kind of fucked up which by the this happened to me this happened to all of us where people go we're coming we're coming my somebody told me one time they go i was like you didn't did you not show up there like we didn't see you we were there we left oh they're in a different room they went to the or and i was like did you say i'm andrew santino's guest because they would have gone he's in there they're like no it's like okay well that's why you i don't know what you want me i'm specific I'm like main room the show starts at 7 I'm up at this time you know what I mean talk to this person and then they text you and go hey what time do you go on what time does the show start what room is it in and you're like look up I do the arrow I go look up look at the text fucking two texts ago I just said all of it or look up at the billboard there's a main room thing and an OR thing and you could just look and we're always on the billboard so it's like just look at the billboard look at the billboard Yeah.

32:21So I'm at dinner, 930. She goes, you know, I mean, dinner ran late. Right. So what would you do? You would say. She was really sorry, though. I don't care. I don't give a fuck.

32:32Bobby Lee:That is also Urban Bob. I would not text. You're smart to not text to get mad. But when they talk to you again, just go. No, it's forever dead. I would say it's not. It's forever dead. Well, I go, it's not cool. Forever dead. I want to be forever dead. Do you really want to die forever? Forever. Do you guys know that song? Yeah. What shirt is that? Rocks. Roxy Music. Oh. It's mine. Oh, that's a cool, I was just going to say. Yeah. Is that a Bobby distressed? Yeah. It's a distressed, I didn't like the distressed, I think it distressed it too much, so I gave it to her. He gives me his failure ones.

33:09So I have a lot of new shirts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like every morning, He's just on the dining table Just scratching all his strings

33:17Bobby Lee:That's his new hobby He's Bobby distressed He pours all the coffee things In the pool Yeah we already talked about it I already said it last time Who had to clean out the pool My cool pool guy What did he say He was really worried Why is your pool black Because coffee grounds are going to get in the filter system you'll probably buy it no it's it's um instant coffee oh it's okay it's not ground yeah it's fine yeah yeah it's fine it's totally fine yeah yeah so that's another thing because um when you take a white shirt and you soak it if anyone wants to distress their shirt right don't give away your secrets right you take a whole bottle of hot water yeah you put hot water in a bucket and i take you do want are you interested yeah i feel like you're not i'm listening okay um And you take, pour the coffee in it, instant coffee, right?

34:14And you let it sit for there for days. And then do you scratch it with rocks? Sandpaper. Sandpaper. But here's - Go get some rocks. No, but here's what I just found out. And I found a trick. Do you want to give this away? I do because it's free knowledge for everybody. Good. I had a wardrobe for this movie I'm doing. And I asked the wardrobe lady because they know all about distressing. Yeah. And I'm telling her all these things I'm doing. She's like, just go to this company. Just do it. Oh, yeah. So I'm just going to. So what I'm doing, but they go, they do it in bulk. So you need 12 shirts at least.

34:49You got 12. No, I'm saving. I have like four or five arrived. I'm waiting for seven more. I'm going to bring it in. And it has no holes, rock wash. And then I'll put paint and I'll do a little bit more distressing. But, you know.

35:02Bobby Lee:You should just throw them in your dryer and then throw some rocks in there. I don't know what it'll do. Let's test. Let's figure it out. You put coffee in your pool. That is true. That is true. That is true. It's like Brewster's millions or something. Like a kid gets a house. He's like, let's put coffee in the pool. That's insane. It's insane. I want to build a slide out my bedroom window. Yeah. And I also want to publicly from these two friends of mine that, you know, publicly announced that I'm UK. Yeah. so you're you're united kingdom no uno king the uno king right we talked about yeah you're the uno king does he beat you every time he won he won six games in a row five but he is using tactics like threats and bribery he is yeah yeah he tried to bribe our mom and he got really mad that he didn't well that is what the kings would do kings would bribe bribe kings are big bribers dude we colonize and you know what they are in the kingdom what I found this out last night.

36:09Bobby Lee:They're goop farmers. Do you know what a goop farmer is? No, I don't know what a goop farmer is. You're looking at two of them. Yeah, it sounds racist. It's not. Goop farmer in medieval times. There's one letter away for being racist. Goop. Do medieval times. It's called a goop picker or a goop farmer. What they do is... Oh, sorry. What is it? Gong farmer. Oh, gong farmer. Yeah. a night sorry back up back up back up back up what'd you call them goop yeah yeah nowhere near but goop sounded funny it is but a gong farmer is a what a gong farmer medieval and tudor era labor responsible for manually removing human waste from city cesspits and castle uh privies right so when you're in the castle they have video of this they would poop off the side of the castle in like a chute and then they had to go clean up the poop and wheelbarrow it away they were compensated very well they said this was a very good job picking up poop was one of the best jobs yeah because you have to imagine in a castle right you're pooping out of a hole and just off the side of the wall off the side of a wall probably five stories up the wall must be look at that oh that's yeah that's it oh my god imagine and there's the once a year they have to do the canal you know i mean the canal cleaning gotta clean some some like a little brad williams and get up there.

37:32Bobby Lee:And he would get stuck, so they would tie something to his foot and just pull him down. Yeah. It's a Shawshank Redemption kind of a situation. Gong farming. Remember when he escaped? Yeah. You guys are gong farmers. Yeah, you're a gong farmer. But me, me, good money. That's a cool job. It's a very good job. You guys aren't good with smells, though. I can't smell. Okay, well, then you'd be good at gong farming. Yeah. Did you guys go to McCone's birthday? Tristan was there. why didn't you guys go um i had to babysit and then i got really tired why didn't you go i didn't even know about it wow interesting it was really i didn't really fun i didn't get invited as well you know you know yeah yeah you have to direct invite me you can't put me in a group chat our direct text message all right let me i'm gonna look it up yeah i'm sorry i i yeah you should yeah i'm gonna look it up right now because i knew you'd make a thing out of it and then i as soon as I went to leave I go what do you need what's going on and McCone goes can I have a hundred dollars oh it's this yeah it's a partiful invite okay so what I what I want to say this is sometimes you send me videos no I'm being real this is like check out this silly video on like your TikTok he does right and so then I'll click on it and it's the most uninteresting thing that you could ever watch so in my mind I'm like oh it's just one of his silly TikToks sure it says McCone is 27 I don't even read if I see a square thing and it looks like a video.

38:57I just ignore it.

38:59Bobby Lee:You can't partiful Bobby. You can't partiful me. You got to write in a text what it is and then send it to him. Partiful he's never going to open. I don't know what it is. He doesn't know how to do that. I do know how to press a button. He doesn't know how. Yes, I do do it. I can do it right now. Well, then why didn't you do it for his birthday? Because I thought it was a TikTok video. I'm sorry. I'm raising my voice. Yeah. And you're leaving Tuesday and we're going to miss you. Wait, where are you going? Back home. No. Oh. Yeah, and so is your mom. How long are you guys gonna be gone for? Well, she's gonna be gone for the whole year.

39:30Bobby Lee:Until Trump's out of office, I guess, huh? Yep. Wait, you're gonna be gone for the rest of the year? Yeah. And then maybe come back next year? Yeah, because immediately when I get back, my school starts. Okay, so what I wanna ask, and it's not a personal thing, right? But you guys have two younger brothers who I don't know at all. Can they come instead? they don't have visas they don't have visas yet okay get them a visa Bob I'll get them a visa yeah now here's my worry Andrew and if you can help me please because I have familiars living with me you know and you are a familiar you call them gong farmers I call them familiars I actually call them goop farmers on accident but gong is the right yeah yeah yeah gong sounds more so it does gong does sound more yeah yeah you gong piece of shit what you doing on my neighborhood or whatever get out of here you fucking gone farmer yeah yeah anyway um that's another transition another transition I'm transitioning okay yeah yeah yeah go ahead get another five yeah$30 so uh your mother is my housekeeper essentially yeah she's gonna be gone for three months now yeah what are you gonna do well she promises me that this one right here um will clean pick up the slack huh yeah but she won't yeah i will no you won't i will so what i'm asking you is do you know anybody that can help me yeah i will i swear no no you don't you don't i will if it's front row justin bieber you will yeah that's exactly yeah yeah yeah if it's sabrina carpenter you will right clean the house you won't I already promised you I'll clean it.

41:19Yeah, but whenever you've done, it's not good. What's this? Topless cleaning. I don't want that. What? Turn that off. What are you doing, Carlos? Carlos. Carlos, what are you doing? It's called Dream Maid.

41:30Bobby Lee:No, no, no. Carlos, stop. Is that who you use, Dream Maid? No, I just do it myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about McCone? McCone can clean your house. He always says he loves cleaning houses. Are you good at cleaning houses? I'm pretty good. Yeah. I'm not my own, but other people. For money, he can be good. You can, if I gave you, let me. You think McCall's better than me? Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, because he's scared of me. Yeah, he is. That's true. Yeah, you're not. It's like living with a fourth dimensional ghost when everyone's gone. We don't say hi. You're not scared of him. She doesn't acknowledge me.

42:05Yeah, I do. No, you don't. Yeah, I do. No, you don't acknowledge me. It's fine. I don't want to acknowledge you either. I say, before I get to Bobby, and you're just like, uh. Yeah, all right. So I never made that noise. I've never made that noise before. I've never done that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So what I don't want to get angry. I was trying to be calm. Make it easy, baby. I know. I'm trying to relax. This is what he was like in Uno. He was freaking at us. Be slick back Bob.

42:34Bobby Lee:Yeah. I betrayed even my girlfriend at Uno. Be slick back Bob right now. You're good. Slick back Bob. That's slick back Bob. There he is. I need help. because I live in a house. She's not going to do it. She's not. Yeah. I have someone that's amazing. Yeah, so thank you so much for that help. Yeah, I would love to send her your way. No, you're done. How about this? I'll give you a shot. Yeah, she has to prove herself. I'll give you a shot. I'm so scared. So you're going to fold my underwear the way your mom folds them? Yeah. Okay. No, you're not. No fucking way. No way. You're just going to throw them in there where they got all crinkly.

43:09I will. I'll call her. I'll ask how she folds it. Yeah, no, no, no. This is what she does. This is what she does.

43:15Bobby Lee:Have you never seen them? You've never seen her do it? No. Oh. So what she does is she'll put clothes in the dryer, right? Then I'll come home, right? And there's a literal pyramid of clothes on top of the dryer. And those are the clean ones? Those are the clean ones. Okay, very nice. While she's washing other things, right? The pyramid becomes bigger and bigger, right? And then it becomes Giza. The pyramid of Giza. It is. Yeah, yeah. and then I'm like and then what happens when you dry clothing and you don't fold them immediately tell me what happens wrinkles wrinkles baby wrinkles baby right building the clothing pyramid of Giza of Giza yeah and so that's what I don't want right I also this is not my test is gonna come no she's not fold your clothes a 90 year old lady is gonna outsource it yeah you're outsourcing a nine-year-old lady that's insane that's great that's crazy she has apps yeah she She has cleaning apps.

44:10Yeah, she has - Oh, apps! Oh, apps! Oh, I thought she was like, boop, boop, boop. This has a phone? Yeah.

44:18Bobby Lee:Clean this room. Room clean. Clean, yeah. Hey, you gotta prove yourself somehow. I will. You know what you should make her do? What? Clean the outside of the house. It needs a good washing because of all the dirt from the trees and the storms. He doesn't even care about that. Yes, he does. I do care. Appearance matters. The whole house smells like vinegar because of it. No. What do you mean by that? The balcony and there's so much stains everywhere. And it's just his shirts laying out in the sun and it's like all kinds of colors out there. Even our mom gave up on it. Yeah. You don't make that noise.

44:56Yeah. You just made that noise. Yeah, that's another five.

45:01Bobby Lee:It's like 40 bucks now. He also repeated me twice. We're up to. We're cruising. and yeah we're doing good i'll give you i'll give me i did this another one i just repeated cruising yeah another five that's amazing that's not a thing okay you've never repeated a word that i've said i don't like to sound like you okay all right that's fair okay i'll hear it anyway yeah yeah thank you thank you anyway anyway the thing is this This is this. I'm gonna, that's another five. I'm gonna give, I'm gonna, one day, I'm gonna, I'm gonna move a couch. Okay. I'm gonna look underneath. See, there's a difference, Andrew, between surface cleaning and deep cleaning.

45:49Yeah, you gotta go. Give me the difference. Tell me some of the difference.

45:52Bobby Lee:Surface cleaning is when you're just going over just what's to the eye, what's available. What's available to the eye. Deep cleaning is what's not available. Under the beds, under the couches, behind the refrigerator, you gotta pull that thing out. you gotta pull that thing out can I deep clean once a week instead of every day no every day deep clean no not every day deep clean you do clean every day deep clean once a week maybe twice if you feel like it if I feel like it and I'm just gonna do that symbol and you're gonna be like oh okay and then you're like I'm busy I got things to do what's your job The baby can clean.

46:32Bobby Lee:Yeah, the baby. That baby can clean. One years old now. Yeah. Once you're one, you can start cleaning. Can he walk? Yeah. He can clean. If he can walk, he can clean. Baby's obsessed with Bobby. The baby's walking around a lot? Yeah, the baby says my name all the time. Yeah. How? Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Oh, so it's clear. Even if he hears me in the phone, he'll yell my name. We ask him, like, who's your favorite person? He says, Bobby. We should get him on the show. Can he get on the show? No, he's too young. Put him on the show. Yeah, he'll cry. He doesn't, he can't conceptualize what this is. All he says is this deep, gross orange.

47:15You're talking about me? No. Yeah. And this color, it would freak him out. Yeah, too much. It's too much. I get it. To see all these paintings, he would think that he was in another world. He isn't here. This is another world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sad that you're going to go home. That sucks. I mean, that's good. So what do you what is the since you've been how long you've been in America four months? What have you been doing? Have you learned anything? Yeah, what have you been doing? Like I've just been walking around why? Huh, I've been walking around. Yeah, I'll drive around. I'll see that I've driven past you before And you don't even acknowledge my presence.

47:53Wait, what do you know? Yeah, where are you going? I'm going to like the coffee shop Alfred hiking you go to Alfred's yeah that's the only place you're going no i'm going to give me some other coffee shops in that area like the books and coffee one other books and coffee yeah yeah there's a witch have you ever

48:11Bobby Lee:been to the witch's brew or there's a there's an no but i just think uh this is america what have you been doing walking yeah coffee coffee yeah nothing really nothing so you really took advantage of coming to america and she'll do stuff like this i'll go hey me and my girlfriend are gonna go to dinner you want to come she goes no what do you eat oh oh oh oh thank you for asking i'll tell you what they ate like chipotle every day i'll tell you what they eat what thank you so much for asking okay you're welcome thank you what they eat is um two weeks ago i ordered sunundang oh my god okay which is short rib it's like in a stew there's carrots in it it has it's like a vikings like a meal right it's the best it's been in my fridge for two three weeks okay right and the other day i just see them eating meat just like a bone and meat i'm like and they're like oh it's from and i'm like i can order you a new one why waste that's right why waste you think meat for three weeks in a fridge is fine i'm not gonna eat it for them it's gotta I know, but you think that you, would you eat meat in your refrigerator that's been there for two or three weeks?

49:24No. We're not having diarrhea, so it's good. Yeah. What do you mean, mmm? Well, it's good. What do you mean, Carlos? Diarrhea. What? She's Filipino stomach. It's different.

49:34Bobby Lee:A better question would be, why is it in there for three weeks? Yeah. Throw it away. Why three weeks? We want to keep it. They want to keep it. Oh, it's you. Yeah. You think it's me? Keep it in your room on the floor then. Yeah. On the room and the floor. If you like it so much. Yeah, it's just stacked with old food. Yeah. And then I'll go, hey, I'm going to get Postmates. And they're like, we don't want to eat it. Yeah, but that's good. They're not wasting money. I paid for it. They're not wasting your money. I don't care. You should. Why? You should. I don't want to get into an argument with you.

50:09That's an ism of yours.

50:11Bobby Lee:Okay. Give me a breath. I'll give McCone$5. Well, so$95 I owe him because I already gave him$100 the other day. Yeah. is an exhausting breath that you do. Sorry. All right. And I'm going to tell you why I'm concerned about your money. I used all the money we've made on Bad Friends. I gave it to a guy named Bertie Madoff and it's not good. Warby Parker. Now listen to me, okay? Listen, hear ye, hear ye. Hear ye, hear ye. Hey, hey, hey. Your wife's glasses are so dope. Warby Parker. They're so cool. So cool. I'm going to go to Warby Parker. I'm going to get glasses there. You can now because you know what they do.

50:44Bobby Lee:They do prescriptions. That's what I'm doing. Not only do they make cool shades, you can get whatever prescription you are wearing or need put into them. And by the way, the best part is you can try on the glasses virtually from home on your phone or iPad or whatever. It feels so real. You can look and see what it feels like and looks like on your face in your space. They made the whole entire experience even easier. Now you can actually go into one of their stores as well and get an eye exam right there. No running around to multiple spots. no guessing if your prescription is even up to date.

51:18Yeah, not anymore.

51:19Bobby Lee:It's easy. Warby Parker's got everything in store. By the way, cool new styles all the time. Colors. Style. That are so different than anything that you see that's running around on those racks at the gas station. And by the way, the prescription glasses start at$95. You can actually get quality and stylish frames at an affordable price. And they do, like Bob said, eye exams glasses, contacts sunglasses. You don't got to piece it together anymore. They get over 300 retail stores across the United States. That's a lot of stores. And Bob, for every pair of glasses that Warby Parker sells, they give a pair to someone in need, which is huge.

51:48Bobby Lee:20 million pairs they've given out through their buy a pair, give a pair program, which I think is very cool, very huge. All right. Now you can buy a pair of glasses and get 20 % off any additional pairs at warbyparker.com slash badfriends. That's 20 % off any additional pairs when you purchase one pair at warbyparker.com slash badfriends. Ultra! Ultra, you guys ever woken up and immediately needed a nicotine pouch or a cup of coffee just to feel like a human? How many pouches, cups of coffee, energy drinks are you guys ripping through on a daily basis? It's not good, friends. That's why we're talking about Ultra.

52:25Bobby Lee:This has zero nicotine, okay? These are truly clean. They're plant-powered pouches designed to sharpen your mind, lift your energy, all without caffeine, nicotine, or that awful crash that you always experience. Look at one up right here. I have one in my ass. I hear, okay? He's got an Ultra in there. In my mouth. He's been in there for a couple of hours. I had one in my mouth. These are truly clean, plant-powered pouches designed to sharpen your mind and lift your energy, all without caffeine, nicotine, or crash. And that's because nicotine pouches and caffeine, they spike your resting heart rate at night, which kills your body's brain's ability to recover.

53:00Bobby Lee:Ultra pouches have a shorter half-life than caffeine. They're not going to disrupt your sleep. And I got to tell you, they make me feel much better in the morning because I don't get that insane crash. All right, I'm trying. I'm working on - I hate crashing. Yeah, I'm working on going all to these. They're smooth. There's cool mint, wintergreen, tropical watermelon, and blue razz. Blue razz, baby. Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch, delivering an instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine. New customers can use the code BADFRIENDS to get 15 % off at takeultra.com. That's takeultra.com for 15 % off code BADFRIENDS.

53:35Bobby Lee:After your purchase, they're going to ask you, how'd you hear about them? Support our show and tell them that we sent you. There's nothing like my American Express Platinum card. I love that I can earn hotel credits when I travel. I can also earn resi credits. So you know I'm hitting the restaurants everyone's talking about. Plus, with the digital entertainment credit, I'm even more excited to catch my favorite shows. All in all, I can access over$3 ,500 in annual value with benefits and eligible purchases across travel, entertainment, and more. Learn more at AmericanExpress.com slash explore dash platinum Enrollment requirements, monthly and other limits in terms apply It's not good It's not good But what I'm saying is if I'm getting a sandwich or a bagel shop and I go, hey you guys want to get a little breakfast bagel thing in the morning and they're like, no thanks and then they'll go to the fridge and eat the three week year old meat Oh it's good, they're cleaning it out Okay We just want to clean it first and then we'll say yes once You guys want to come over to my house and eat all my expired shit in the fridge?

54:34Bobby Lee:You're more than welcome to. It's always in there. We got so much shit in there. A lot of bananas. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Banana bread? Who makes banana bread? No, just bananas. Can you make banana bread? Mama can make one. Can she for me? Tell her just for me. Yeah. Well, she has a bakery. She's still got a crush on me, right? Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Love that. Dude, she's leaving me. What do you mean? She's going back to the Philippines. I know. They'll be back. Maybe I should go with her. They'll be back. Yeah, they'll be back. I leave my life here in Los Angeles for your mom. He's such a great story.

55:05Yeah, but what about our dad?

55:06Bobby Lee:What about him? Yeah, what about your dad? What about him? I'm sorry. I'm the new guy in town, pal. He's the new guy. He's the male version of Pippi Longstocking. Imagine me at a fucking village in the Philippines. You'd be king. They'd be scared. Oh, yeah. All the girls would. Let's do it. No. No, no, no. That's a bad idea. Let's rip apart our lives. No, no, no, no. There's no golf courses. How many redheaded people do you see in the Philippines? I've never seen. Wow. Wow. That's me. Yeah. With my wife. That could be. White guy enjoys holidays. You and honey. It's in a tent somewhere. Are there black people in the Philippines?

55:46Yeah. Yeah. Like our native people. What do you mean? You're native people.

55:54Bobby Lee:You're saying people native to the Philippines. So there's like a Detroit in the Philippines. This gentleman. It's the indigenous people. Oh, she does look black. There's Negritos. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? Little black person. Yeah, well, that's for Spanish, it would be. No, that's our native people. Wait a minute. The name is Negrito. Yes. Interesting. Interesting. Yeah, yeah. Wikipedia is. It says, zoom in up top. Yeah, yeah. You say it then, because you're Spanish. Read the whole thing. He's got to say it. Thanks. It takes it off of me. Yeah. The word negrito. Yeah, beautiful. Spanish diminutive of negro.

56:38Bobby Lee:Negro. Yeah, very good. Keep going. Keep going. It's used to mean little black person. Yeah. Yikes. So a lot of Doc Willis is out there. Yeah. So you do have indigenous black people that live in the Philippines. Are you friends with any of the indigenous people growing up? No. Why not? They live in other islands. They live in the other islands. Not in Cebu. Right. South Central. Southwest. Southwest, yeah, yeah. Southeast. Yeah, Southeast Central. Yeah, Southeast Central. Far Southeast Central. Yeah. Is there, do they have gangs? Gangs? No. There's no like, you know. It's like a tribe. We do have gangs though.

57:21Okay, what are the gang names in the Philippines? Do you have gang names? It's. Flip-flop boys. The flip flop boys. The flip flop boys.

57:30Bobby Lee:The flip flop boys. They're up to no good. The flip flop boys are bad boys. What are the name of the gangs? Yeah. Yeah. That's insane. One of the largest and most well known syndicates in the country. Oh my God. Bahala na gang. Bahala na. I'm a part of the Waray Waray gang. I don't know if you know that. What's Bahala la mean? a specific... War-ray-ray! War-ray-ray! War-ray-ray! War-ray-ray! War-ray-ray! Watch it! Watch it! Watch it!

58:12Bobby Lee:We're gonna get in trouble with the War-ray-Wari gang, pal. War-ray-wari gang. Just a note. War-ray-wari gang. We're just joking. We're just joking. You don't want to fuck with that guy. Is that a War-ray-wari gang member? I hope not. What? A Bahala-nah. That's a Bahala-nah. No, we like them. Yeah, we like them. We're good with all of them. Yeah, we're good with all. Let's go. Kurotong. Kurotong Beleken. Yeah. Did you like that? Did I sound close? Yeah. Kurotong Beleken. Go back. Go back to the names. Go back to the names. All right, there we are. The last one is Kurotong Beleken. Yeah. Balening.

58:47Bobby Lee:Kurotong Beleken. Vigilante group in the 80s. Oh, they're gone. Do you guys have... Who's a fat? What's wrong? Nothing. I'm listening. All right. Do you know any gang members in the Philippines? No, but I remember in the village that we used to live Yes There was a group of guys and they said, oh, we're gang members so you have to do the What is it? Let me guess Let me guess What's the initiation of the gang? What's the initiation? No, we will go to the forest Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down What's going on? What's going on in the forest? Is that where the negritos are?

59:34Bobby Lee:That sounds scary. No. We go to the negrito forest. What's going on? Yeah, what's going on there? What are you doing in the forest? Yeah, what are you doing in the forest? You have like dead frogs and they would eat this. Oh, you have to eat a dead frog. Oh, you have to eat a dead frog. That doesn't sound that bad of an initiation. Yeah. Are they psychedelic frogs? No, and then after you get a spanking.

59:59Bobby Lee:Not tough gangs They spank you? They spank you With a paddle? No I said no to the spanking Yeah yeah Oh you can say no You can say no to the gang Yeah yeah I'll eat the frog No spanking You can just say no to a gang Yeah yeah yeah Sopranos Yeah yeah yeah Tony's like you're gonna pay us what you owe us Yeah The guy's like I don't want to They're like okay What can we do Yeah what can we do So you said But did you eat the frog? I just like licked it. Oh, you licked. Is it psychedelic? No. It must be psychedelic. It's kind of gross for just like a nasty pun. How do you eat? It's fine like dead frogs.

1:00:33Bobby Lee:Oh, it's a dead frog. Have you done that? No. No. So wait, that's. He was too young. When you say initiation, that means you'd be in the gang once you did it. So did you get in the gang then? You had to let him spank you to get in the gang. It's not a real gang. Yeah, I think it's just. Oh, it was a fake gang. They were like, oh, like we're real. We're real. Like we're bloods. There's bloods out there Is that what you're saying? There's certainly not They were lying just to spank you We had the frog bloods They are active blood gang members In the operating sets in the Philippines We're wrong We're learning In Cebu Wow the true brown style The name of the guy True brown style Wow Wow.

1:01:18True brown style. Yeah. So have you run into true TBS?

1:01:23Bobby Lee:And we should say something to the gangs. Yeah. Philippines. We love you guys. We're in the middle. We are big fans. We're corrupt cops. Yeah, we're corrupt cops. Like if we were cops, we would do dealings with you. We'd let you go. Yeah. Bobby, be careful. We don't want these guys to get mad at us. Well, I've been to Cebu many times. You know, I've never run into a TBS. I haven't been spanked in years. You're in the bougie parts of Cebu. That's right, girl. Say it, girl. Wait, wait. Wait, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Well, he went to Marigundon. I went to Marigundon, okay? I went for a swim. I went to a swim in Marigundon.

1:01:55Was it Many Gundown? Is that what it's called? Yeah. So, Marigundon, I went. And what did I do in Marigundon? Tell him. You recorded the podcast. No. What about the goat and the feeding the children? That's not Marigundon. What is that? That's another area. Oh, but you're not going to give me props for that. You fed goats to children? No, no, no. I bought a bunch of spaghetti yeah spaghetti oh yeah what? like spaghetti noodles? hey fucking spaghetti oh there it is yeah that kind of spaghetti yeah and I bought a bunch of spaghetti and there was also bread and some a little salad and went to a village right everyone was naked okay coming out of the village you know what I mean a little bit there was a goat tied to a right a chain there's always a goat tied up yeah yeah yeah always I just said it again this is a five and we had a truck, a van and I fed the villagers boxes of spaghetti.

1:02:51Yeah, that's right. And that story's in the memoir. It was signed in yesterday.

1:02:59Bobby Lee:That's in the book. Is that the author Bobby Lee? Feeding a spaghetti? Yeah, yeah. You just gave out hard spaghetti? No, it's already cooked. Cooked spaghetti? I didn't give him dry noodles like, hey, you have boiling water? Wait. You got to make your own pasta sauce? Cooked spaghetti? You told this story really bad. Like he gave meal kits to people. Yeah, meal kits. Yeah. I wish it was the other way. Yeah. Just handfuls into their hands. Yeah. Spaghetti? Spaghetti? And they seemed to be very happy about it. You did charity. Yeah. A little bit. And then I did my talent show out there, which is fun.

1:03:36Yeah. So I've done some stuff over there. I never ran into any TBS or.

1:03:39Bobby Lee:And you never want to. You never want to. We respect and love the TBS. Do you have motorcycle gangs? No. Do people have motorcycles out there? Yeah, it's all motorcycles. It's all motorcycles. Mopeds. No, those are mopeds. I mean motorcycles. Yeah, I think so. What's the difference between a moped and a motorcycle? A lot of CCs. Yeah. It's a much bigger engine. Well, because of the conflict that we're in right now, I mean, Philippines was the hardest hit really in the beginning of this conflict in terms of gas and all that kind of stuff. So what should we do about it? Can we do something? What are we supposed to do?

1:04:07There's nothing we can do.

1:04:08Bobby Lee:Other than house Filipinos. Yeah. That's what I do. I do what I can. You did what you did. Yeah, yeah, spaghetti and everything. Spaghetti. Awesome spaghetti. Three week old meat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Blackpools. Blackpools? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do everything I can. Negrito pools. Give me what's going on in your lives. Rudy, what are you doing? Babysitting. That's all you're doing all the time? Yeah. That's your full time job now? American dream. Yeah. It's an American dream. We went camping. Oh, yeah. Where? We tried to invite you to Bobby, but - No, no, you never invited me. That's insane. What are you guys, Joshua Tree or something?

1:04:41Leo Carrillo.

1:04:42Bobby Lee:Leo Carrillo. You bought a tent? That sounds like home, huh? Yeah. When we went camping up Lake Kachuma. Oh, I love Lake Kachuma. And the fucking dog, I was like, oh, wow, she's restricted. We don't have to worry about leash or anything. Why? Because it's like fenced off where we were. Yeah. And I'm thinking, oh, this is great. She jumps into a briar patch and has burrs all over. I spent like three hours picking out shit out of her fucking phone I felt so bad it sucked and then I was bummed because we didn't get the tent set up and I was like this is we should just go oh my god you must snapped I did I was I told you about my cousin Andy and I what my parents did huh oh we go camping that's what my dad said my cousin Andy and you know me and also Andy's father my uncle yeah and so we set up a tent right we went to sleep and when we woke up they were not there and his dad my dad and my uncle were not there they went to a hotel that sounds right yeah yeah and they drove back and they sleep good they're like you left us here yeah you would do that it's camping you gotta learn that's it what i know but i'm 12 you gotta you gotta survive okay okay gotta survive all right but um let's go back to um camping i i will never camp ever why not I don't like it.

1:06:06Bobby Lee:I don't like it. I like fishing and I like all that other stuff around it, but I don't want to sleep there. I'll go sleep somewhere else. Yeah, because we have buildings now. Yeah. Buildings are great. Also, the ground is very uncomfortable. I don't care how comfortable you are. You have a bed though, like a padding thing. Oh, you guys do glamping. No. You don't have padding when you do that. Yeah, you could do like an insert into a sleeping bag, but that's not much. We did not do glamping. No, you did sleeping bag with an insert so it's more padded. Not on a cot. No. Yeah, but the ground's not that comfortable.

1:06:40But you didn't sleep well because when you came home, you slept all day. So what happened? Because I couldn't sleep because I thought we would just die. That's exactly right. You don't camp.

1:06:52Bobby Lee:Did you guys cook? Did you guys do grilling and stuff? Oh, no. Did you hear scary things outside of the tent? There was a guy screaming at his wife. Like at 4 a.m. All right. What was he saying? What was he saying? First of all, I wasn't yelling at her. I was talking to her. He was screaming at his wife. Yeah, he was like, you stupid bitch. Yeah. Fucking dumbass. Like, why are you doing that? Yeah. Whoa. Now that is scary. Yeah. What's going to happen? Yeah. He's screaming at her at four in the morning. Yeah. Did anybody say shut up? No. How far away were the campsites from each other? Pretty close.

1:07:24Bobby Lee:Oh, yeah. See, that's not also not camping. That's not camping either. You got to be way out. Go camping. You got to be way out. Yeah. You got to hike. You gotta do - I didn't have like a pepper spray. I didn't have a knife. You didn't have a knife? Strange. You have to do what Ivanka and Jared did. They went to that island. Took their shoes. Went swimming. Yeah. They swam to an island. That's right. Barefoot. That's right. They hiked up top of the mountain. And then they bought it. They bought it. Right. That's real camping. That's real camping. And that's what you guys need. Go to Albania. Buy a mountain.

1:07:56Bobby Lee:Yeah, that's real camping. Is that not? How did you not? In the building resort. Did you build a fire pit? No. You didn't build a fire pit and you didn't grill or anything? There was no light. There was no light. What did you do for food? Sandwiches. We brought sandwiches and mustard. You brought sandwiches and mustard? Yeah. What do you mean? What kind of sandwiches? It was just bread. Just bread. Lettuce, ham, cheese, and mustard. Prison food. Yeah, prison food. I like a ham and cheese. We were just making it in the dark. Yeah. That sounds like the worst time ever You didn't have a flashlight?

1:08:33No Our phones But then that was it And then we didn't have data So at 10am we were just like What are we gonna do? Yeah Exactly It's like those cave people What do they call them? Spelunking And they get stuck in a crack like this And they get stuck And they're like I think I'm gonna die But it's like you chose to be there yeah you did this you spelunked you know i've never been in a cave stuck in a crack never have you ever been it i'm thinking about it i don't i'm what about that one

1:09:10Bobby Lee:dude that movie with his own seven hours what 127 yeah and he had to cut his own arm off i've just never been in that situation never do you know why yeah i don't go out there you don't do that yeah when people are coming back like you know i mean what happened to your arm shark attack Well, that's never will happen to me. Well, you do go in the ocean. I know, but tiger sharks, yes. Yeah, but in South Africa, no. You're not going to go to South Africa? Well, I've been in there. I want to be the grito shark.

1:09:46Bobby Lee:Oh, shit. You're fogged up again, huh? Yeah, yeah. Big fog guy. You know it's a good episode if he's fogging. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. So no camping anymore. No more camping. All right, never again. Never. No more. Okay. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a really good idea. You don't need to camp. You don't need to camp. Yeah. I don't know, you're comfortable where you are. You're living in his house, living a good life. Yeah. Oh, I'll tell you what I was gonna see and I'm glad I bailed. I bailed on Scary Movie. My buddy told me, he was like, it didn't do it, which sucks is I fucking loved the first ones.

1:10:21I can do it. I just -

1:10:22Bobby Lee:But the original was so funny. The original was funny. You know why? It was a moment in time. Yeah. I think it was just a great moment in time. Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow. Wow, wow, wow. More money, money, money, money, money, money. I'll say this. This might be the last time that we see you on the show for a little while. Probably a year, year and a half. Yeah, we'll miss you. Yeah. Go have fun back at home. You'll be back. Yeah. Maybe. We'll see. It's funny. She's like, I can't wait to go home. Yeah. You miss the Philippines like crazy. Whoa. And I can't miss my friends and this and that. I have my friend.

1:10:53She's attitude to Tito Bobby a lot. Yeah. She's what? I can feel that. She's been doing attitude to you. She has attitude. Your attitudes, I mean, why though? No, because like the last time he was like, I want a date and he was like, I want to meet this guy. I'm going to go to his profile. I'm going to message him. I'm like, what? And we're going to miss you. We are going to miss you. And I also believe that you're going to miss being here. Yeah.

1:11:17Bobby Lee:That part I don't believe. I don't know. I think you'll miss some parts of the States. You'll miss Rudy. Yeah. You'll miss - She prefers to be in the Philippines. Yeah. She prefers it. You wanna go back? Yeah, you wanna stay here. Yeah. You're an American. You are. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, good luck. Yeah, good luck. We hope you come back. We hope you come back. Yeah. Yeah. Say thank you for being a bad friend. Salamat sa pagiging masamang kaibigan. Great.

1:11:52Woo-hoo. Yeah. Woo-hoo. Yeah. Woo-hoo. Yeah.

1:12:13Turn it up. Storm has zero sugar and 200 milligrams of caffeine, so you can turn that workout up a notch. Good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life.