Dimorphous Expression w/ Are You Garbage?

19:33Bobby Lee:What? Okay. God rest the dead. I'm sorry, that was mean. God. What? Too soon? No, it was good. Okay. But even like John Candy did JFK. He was great in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. John Candy showed moments of brilliance in every comedic role, but he did serious stuff all the time. The difference was Farley had soft and fun, sweet moments. Nothing like Candy. Candy and Uncle Buck. Candy and Planes Trains. Candy and fucking... Candy and Home Alone. Dude, the guy, he showed moments of like unbelievable, cool runnings. A movie that was such a wacky... He was sweet in that. Yeah.

20:14Bobby Lee:One of the greatest. One of the greatest. One of the greatest. Him, John Candy, John Goodman to me when I was a kid were two of the coolest... funny guys and goodman wasn't your traditional comedic actor but he was so funny yeah like king ralph is one of the best movies i think i've ever seen conceptually i don't know why we haven't done that again why haven't we done king ralph again where a fucking regular midwest like blue collar guy inherits the keys to the royal kingdom isn't that a genius concept your your great uncle left you the keys to the kingdom yeah is that not even listed on his filmography king ralph i remember as a kid watching stripes.

20:52I know he wasn't in that. I fucking love stripes. But those movies.

20:54Bobby Lee:This movie was so good. Which one? King Ralph. I never saw King Ralph. Oh dude, it's so fucking good. Who's in it?

21:04Bobby Lee:John Goodman. What? John Goodman, Peter. How did we go from Candy to Goodman? I said these two guys were kind of comedic heroes when I was a kid. I don't remember. I didn't see that transition. Can I even listen to a word I'm saying? I was trying to think. No, I'll tell you. Can I tell you why? I'll tell you what just happened. You disconnected. I just Not only did it disconnect Somebody picked up the phone And the internet cut out Yeah Mom I'm on the fucking No I was trying To think of the movie Stripes So while you were talking About the whole thing About Goodman I was like Not even listening I was like What is that movie You never listen to me Of course I do We go bing bang Bing bing bing When's my birthday October 6th No Don't look at your phone Yeah yeah yeah It's not October 6th No It's gotta be October 6th It's not October 16th fuck 10 days but I knew it was 6 yeah that was true October 16 are you upset I didn't know yeah SimpliSafe SimpliSafe SimpliSafe is real security that stops crime before it starts so you gave me SimpliSafe I did we helped you install it you installed it right and I have a couple of Filipinos living at the house you have too many Filipinos and seven animals right and now I feel completely safe because you're you guys you gotta know if you wanna trust something you gotta trust SimpliSafe to keep your home, family, property, whatever it is, important, safe.

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25:23Bobby Lee:Let's take old movies like that and see some of the new comics that could fill those shoes. Oh, okay. It's very interesting. Three Amigos. Oh my God. Me, you. No. Okay, you're right. I mean, it wouldn't go. I'd like to put us in something because I can't get any work. I know, me either. I get some fucking work. But they would, imagine a studio. You and I could do Plain Strange Automobiles and it would be fucking amazing. That'd be amazing. I mean, how much more am I Steve Martin to his John Candy? I mean, genuinely. Yeah. We'd have to get you off the Azempic, though. I'd have to gain weight. You'd have to gain weight to make it funny.

25:55Bobby Lee:But don't you think a studio would be like, okay, three amigos, let's go to Sudeikis first. Let's go to these kind of people first, or no? Yeah, but that's fucking boring. that's not a shot at him that's what they would do give me someone we're making our world no I'm just saying what are you a studio exec now yeah from a studio exec I would be like Santino or Sudeikis probably Sudeikis alright let me say this our ecosystem our ecosystem that we're talking about you have friends that we know alright so here we go three amigos well you're obviously you're obviously the Chevy Chase part and fucking I mean that would what I would want who's Steve Martin then Steve Martin would be Nate Bregazzi perfect yeah And then you are Little Nettie Needle Lander?

26:32Bobby Lee:No There's no way They would pick me It's for us Who are you talking about? We're casting this movie No no I'm gonna be the bar contender Freddy Asparagus's part Freddy Asparagus Yeah yeah A smile a smile A smile a smile Who would be I'll do it east Who would be Little Nettie Needle Lander? Oh yeah Who would be that? Martin Short Nettie Needle Lander Who would be him? I wanna be Dusty Bottom So bad That's a tough That's a tough And who would be Patrice Martinez The first girl That he falls in love with that Steve falls in love with, who would be her? Oh shit. Angela Johnson. Angela Johnson, yeah.

27:07Bobby Lee:I'm trying to think of a, yeah, it's gotta be like, who's the most famous Latino comedian? Angela Johnson. Oh, Sofia Nino de Rivera. What? Annabelle Ferreira. I mean, I don't know any of these. I mean, Fancy, shouldn't you know? Sofia Nino de Rivera. Shut up. It's so annoying. Wow. Yeah, it'll be her. Have her on the show. Hey, is this hurricane going to hit Florida or is this bullshit? Let's fucking do more hurricanes. Remember that? When we were kids, I feel like it happened all the time. Hurricane, what is that? Imelda? Forecasters are monitoring Hurricane Imelda, which is, am I saying that right?

27:48Bobby Lee:Imelda. Why do you think they name it names like that? And it goes in alphabetical order. Hurricanes are given names to improve public and professional communication, making storms easier to identify, track, and discuss, especially when multiple storms are active. Right, because they've got, sometimes there's three hurricanes going on at the same time. I like when they combined. Oh, when they hook up? Oh, that's my favorite. When they hook up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When they don't know and then when they combine and they're bigger. A little hura orgy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little hura orgy? That's a movie where like six come into one.

28:15Or you have two natural events happen. Earthquake and - So two hurricanes that meet, you know, and then an earthquake in the ocean. Love. Which causes a tsunami. It just happens, right?

28:28Bobby Lee:There's a tornado sweeping through the Midwest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fires on the West Coast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it just happens at one place. And then we all die. No, just it'll happen in... Oh, okay. Rapture. Rapture. Oh, yeah, what happened to the rapture? What happened to the rapture? What happened to the rapture? Excuse me. Yeah. Excuse me. What happened to the rapture? What happened though? Did anyone... It said it's back on. Was anyone raptured? Here's a new date the Christians believe in. Oh, there's a new one? They got the wrong date. Wait, it was two weeks ago, right? Yeah, what day was the rapture?

28:57I don't know. It was a Tuesday, I think.

28:58Bobby Lee:Well, let's see. Go down. Let's see. Rapture 2025 prophecy may be expected to occur on the 23rd or 24th of September. That's right. It didn't happen. Failed to materialize. Yeah. And anticlimax led to dismiss it a long line of unfulfilled doomsday claims. However, some believers say it's still coming. South African pastor Joshua Michaela, who has been, well, I mean, that's, I didn't need to, Joshua Michaela. I don't know how to say it. It says, it's like, you know what I did on the 23rd? I was waiting for the rapture. I was in my backyard completely naked. Do you know why I was naked? Why? Because when you have your clothes on, it leaves where you left I want that to be a mystery Right Where's Bobby?

29:38Where's Bobby? I don't want them to know where I, you know what I mean? I feel like if I was raptured, no one would believe it

29:43Bobby Lee:I mean, people would think, Bob, you're on one People are like, he relapsed, he's on one, he's out there Yeah, yeah, I don't think that, like, if people were, right? And how stupid would I be? I'd be like, you guys don't get it He was raptured! And they're like, okay, dude, where is he? Yeah, yeah I mean, if you were raptured, do you think people would believe it? For sure. I'm rapturable too. I don't think you're rapturable, dude. Come on, dude. I keep tempting the rapture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, who would... I don't know, dude. I'm not rapturable. I don't... Well, I don't think so. If I'm not rapturable, you're not rapturable.

30:09Bobby Lee:Well, you're... Okay, fine. A person raptured is according to some Christian beliefs when they're a true believer in Jesus Christ. Okay, that's... I believe in Jesus. Me too. No, you don't. Oh, damn it. Is that the prerequisite? Say it again? Is that the prerequisite? I love that I love and you did it good on that second one is that not how I say it? that is a prerequisite to being raptured yeah you must believe but okay what if I have all the other ones except for that one well you gotta talk to the guy imagine he gets up to fuck you know what I mean he gets up what are the conditions about rapture do you have that?

30:43I think it's just that

30:44Bobby Lee:you gotta believe that's the only thing that's it you gotta accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior in your heart I just did it seriously? yeah I just did it dude well you're gonna get raptured yeah yeah okay I don't think you believe them. Oh, wait, no, there's a few. Yeah, yeah, yeah, give me the few. Wait, hold on, but imagine we all get raptured and we're waiting in line and Jesus is like, why's Bobby naked?

31:08Bobby Lee:We all have clothes on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like. I'm just like. And one of the apostles is like, that's a bit he does from his show. And he's like, Jesus, he's going to give you a pube shot. Receive Jesus Christ. Do you receive the fundamental steps to believing in Jesus Christ, accept him as your Lord and Savior, and repent for your sins? Read and study the Bible. No, you don't. Okay. Pray and confess. You do. Live a faithful life. You do. Join a healthy church. You don't. Be patient and endure. You do. Is that it? Just six. Yeah. No. Yeah. So understand the event. Know it's coming. So we got to get you to a church is really what it is.

31:44Now, so do you pray and repent?

31:48Bobby Lee:I pray. I pray too. Yeah, I pray a lot. Yeah, yeah. I pray for people. Yeah. I pray for the show that fancy gets replaced eventually. What else do you do? I've never seen you go to a church. You don't talk to God? I've never seen you go to a church. What do you mean I do? I go to church every Sunday. That's why we can't do the show on Sunday mornings. Do you really go to church every Sunday morning? Have I missed? How many Sundays have I missed, McCone? McCone knows. I mean, none. Sometimes he comes and watches the dog. Are you kidding me, dude? You go to church every Sunday? What do you... Okay, okay.

32:18Stop. Not if we're on the road. Stop. Stop for a second. Yeah, we can't on the road. because I don't want to go... Stop for a second. Okay. May I speak? Please. Okay. That says a lot about our relationship. Why? Because you've never invited me and you don't want me to be saved. You know church is at 8 a.m., right? It doesn't matter. You don't want... At least one time, like, hey, bud, you want to go? Do you think you could get up at 8 to go to church for real? Genuinely. I go up at Sunday mornings and I go to 3rd and Gardner, which is an early AA meeting. I go to that.

32:50Bobby Lee:That's at 1030, you said. Yeah. Okay, you want to go two and a half hours? But you think I sleep? You think I sleep when I go to Thurton Garden? No, I stay up all night. Well, that's not good. That's my point. I would go if you tried to save me, but you don't want me to go. You don't want me to go to heaven. I want you to go to heaven. Yeah, but then why wouldn't you invite me? Okay, look. You don't want me saved. I want you. That's fucked up, dude. I want you to go to heaven, but I do think I've already put in a couple of requests, and they've been denied. It's invite only? What do you mean? Request from Jesus?

33:19It's like Raya.

33:21Bobby Lee:Like you can get in, but it's like you gotta have a few people to vouch for you. And also if you violate - You've been banned. Yeah. You got banned from heaven, bud. But honestly, if you wait a couple of weeks, they'll lift the ban. Can I - Come with me. What's the church called? I'm not telling it on the fucking air. Okay. You wanna come? Yeah. Let's go. And what do you wear? A dashiki. What do you mean? You wear street clothes. Oh, really? Wear whatever you want. There's no rules to church. That's old school shit. That's old fucking fuddy-duddy. It's honestly, it's, I'm so shocked that you go to church.

33:58Bobby Lee:But you can't wear shorts. Have you ever seen me wear - Jesus don't like knees. Have you ever seen me wear shorts? Yeah, not really. Yeah, exactly. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen you. No, that's not true. On a beach, yes. We've gone swimming together and I've seen you in shorts. Yeah, I know. Yeah, you've seen me in, yeah. I've seen your little thong. Yeah. Cute. Those little black things we wore there. Little black thongs? dude they were so funny yeah what's that sexy that's an album cover what is that it's for the oh flyer for brea god the kid's got a much better body now i gotta tell you should reshoot that photo now you should reshoot some of those old like like nudie photos and see what you look like now god look at how young the kid is oh my god look at how young i am we want you to be saved i want you to be saved and the fans want you to be saved and i believe you can do it yeah i want That rapture talk was really scary.

34:49Oh, buddy, come on.

34:51Bobby Lee:You're going to be saved. You know why? Because you have a good heart and a good soul. The number one rule, I believe in all religions, is to try to be a good person. And you're a great person. And that is your entry ticket to the afterlife. Yeah, but I've giggled at a couple of funerals before. Funerals can be funny. But they've been in church. I've been giggled. Every time I'm in a funeral, there's a laugh attack. Yeah, who said that they're supposed to be sad? Yeah. Why are they sad? Like my brother and I were at a funeral once and we heard a knock.

35:29Right? Is it closed casket? It was closed casket, but we heard like that, right? And I looked at my brother and we just collapsed on the ground. So funny. Started laughing. You know what I mean? It's funny. I know, but still you're not supposed to laugh. Do you ever have a laugh fit where you're not supposed to laugh?

35:44Bobby Lee:when I'm uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because you don't feel, you don't know how to feel. Yeah. You know, like I learned something the other day that this is, this demorphous expression is the phenomenon of displaying two contradictory expressions or actions in response to a single intense emotion, such as crying when happy or feeling, or just squeeze a cute object. Yeah. Sometimes you feel so overwhelmed. You do something you usually wouldn't. I laugh sometimes when I want to cry. Yeah. You know, when feelings are too emotional for me. Dude, demorphous expression. I've never even heard that before.

36:14Bobby Lee:what's up San Diego, we're Dimorphous expression. Just bawling while they play. Dimorphous expression. That's a great band name. Or it's a great album. Yeah. Dimorphous. Yeah. Dimorphous expression. I've literally never learned. We're learning new shit. Yeah. I had someone I know, they had someone in their family do assisted suicide. Oh no. Which is kind of crazy. Well, because usually people that do it, do it because they have a terminal illness. and they're like, well, I don't want this to get progressively worse. I want to say goodbye. But this is kind of a crazy story. The person threw themselves a goodbye party or whatever.

36:52Bobby Lee:These living funerals is a big thing that people do now. Yeah. But they kept pushing back the date because they had a couple of secondaries of like, maybe I don't want to. Let's move it back a little bit. What do you mean? They kept changing the date of the assisted suicide because they kind of had probably a few good weeks or something. it's fucked up because don't you think after you do that you'd be like alright I don't want to do it if I bailed once I'm out I don't know if I could go through with it yeah it's a dark thing it's crazy I'm not it's just like it's hard I don't know how to spin this but yeah spin it spin it spin it it's pretty dark spin it you got it I know it's in there yeah I don't like physical pain you don't want to experience any physical pain I think once the physical pain is just even if morphine or any of these drugs stop working yeah I just I feel like I'm going to move on.

37:42Bobby Lee:You ever had morphine? Like when I was in Vietnam? Like a drip. Yeah. Like a drip. On the field, yeah. Like a drip. Yeah. You've had a drip in a hospital bed? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, they gave me that shit when I had my torn ligaments in my leg. Wow. Yum. It's un-fucking-real. You feel - It's warm. I mean - Oh, it's warm sunshine. Yeah. It makes me go, heroin. Yes, yes, yes. It's not surprising why people are addicted to all these opiates. No, of course not. Morphine drip is the continuous intravenous administration of the opioid pain medication morphine IV dog. Drip, drip, drop. A drip, drip, drip with that drip, drip, drip.

38:18Bobby Lee:I got that drip. I got that drip, drip, drip. I got that drip. Just two IVs in my arms. I got that drip, drip, drip. I'm just drooling. Wow. It does feel good. It does feel good. It's bad news bears. You know when you get on it. You know they're like, be careful because it's fun. You know what? I think in the last five years of my life, when I'm 70, I think I'm going to do it. 70 the last five that's the what are you talking about i think i'm 75 i'm done you're living way past i'm 70 i think i'm gonna go you know what i'm gonna liquidate everything and i'm just gonna shoot heroin please don't yeah or fentanyl there's a new fentanyl there's a super fentanyl right but i think i'm just gonna boom boom you can come over to my little apartment i'll have okay i'm gonna downsize i'm gonna tell yeah and i'm just gonna drip my way into heaven super fentanyl there's a new fentanyl dude super fentanyl car fentanyl extreme potency synthetic opioid estimate to be 100 times more potent than fentanyl 10 000 times more potent than morphine damn it's on the streets now give that to me in the hospital dog they're like andrew you just have a paper cut i'm like i need it who who took fentanyl was like nah it's not enough you know what i mean well probably because they're fucking used to it they've they've uh their tolerance is too high do a little extra fentanyl then no that's not gonna work listen charlie geese charlie sheen was like i was banging seven gram rocks i was like fucking go yeah he couldn't get enough that was the greatest documentary one of the best we were talking about that for days dude it's so good that documentary what in this what a life and the thing that got him sober was like incredible yeah yeah happy he did sheenzy's aka charlie sheen did you see jason bateman's new show black rabbit yeah everyone's talking about it very good yeah it's very good and jude law yeah jude law so good yeah and the new paul thomas anderson movie everyone's saying great People are saying it's good, but I've seen a little bit of other sides.

40:08Bobby Lee:I've seen people say they don't like it. Go watch it yourself. Yeah, I'm gonna. You wanna go watch it? I'll go. Yeah, let's do it this week. Let's go. Yeah, I'll watch it. Would you watch it again? I'm gonna go watch it again. Wow. Oh, you are? Because you have no life. I like going to movies. Are you dating anybody right now or are you single? I'm single. You taking anybody out on dates? No, I like to go to movies by myself because I can get a better seat. Yeah, I agree. I do like going to movies as well by myself, but you're not seeing anybody at all, huh? I don't know if so often I'll go on a date, but I don't know.

40:36Bobby Lee:You know, why don't you be honest? Because you talked to me that how badly you want to have love. You're like interested badly in love. The problem is that people now watch the show. God, fancy. Yeah. You know, I will get you back to Spain pretty fast. Keep that vibe up. Yeah, I don't like watching movies with somebody because I get influenced by them. Yeah. If they laugh or if they, yeah. Yeah, I'll be sitting next to somebody. Like I was watching Superman with like three other people. My brother, Dumbfounded, and Gene. and I'm watching it. I'm like, I'm trying to get into it. What's that combined IQ in that room?

41:08Bobby Lee:Sorry, I'm trying to get into it.

41:12Bobby Lee:Fuck you, dude. That's my friend group, dude. And family. What the fuck? Your brother dumbfounded. Gene Hong is. Yeah, he gets you over 100. Yeah. And I turned to my brother and my brother just goes. Yeah. As soon as he did that, I was like, oh, it's bad. No, that's just. And then it ruined the whole thing. I know. You know what I mean? Or like somebody will just be like Their eyes closed Yeah Yeah I took my dad to Lord of the Rings The two towers Sleeping Dude Because he had never seen the first one Or the third one Right Because the third one wasn't out

41:47And I just remember Just opening What going on Right In the beginning Just watch And then like five minutes in He's just Deep and asleep Gone Yeah but he works a lot He has no interest in You know what I mean Orcs What was he interested in He's never seen a movie You know My dad was one of those immigrants That was like He doesn't know what music is I've talked about this before I know

42:08Bobby Lee:But it's so funny Not as much music He doesn't know what music is He turned it on He's like I mean that's Yeah But right before he died Right I had AirPods The translation ones The new ones No no no No no And he was like They finally communicated

42:27Bobby Lee:I know what you're saying After all those years I love Radiohead.

42:35Yeah. In a rainbows is amazing. Yeah. You put - Weird fishes. What's his? I know. So we put in Eric Clapton.

42:48Bobby Lee:Reckoner. Sorry. Yeah, Reckoner's a song. We put Eric Clapton in, what's that song? Tears in Heaven? Tears in Heaven. Tears in Heaven. Oh, God. Put it in, we play it. Never heard music before in his life. I mean, obviously he's in the elevator in a mall. He hears it in the ambiance of it. Pure 11.

43:13Bobby Lee:Pure 11. Your dad dies. He gets to the pearly gates. He's like, pure 11. I'm sorry, sir. What do you keep singing a song? Did he smile through the song? Did he take it? And he's like, we play and he's like kind of sitting there. and then a single tear. No. I swear to God. That's so sweet. Comes out of his face. And it was the first time he ever, would you, would you know, would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven? Go. You take the next one. Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven? I must be strong. Is that how it goes? I must be strong and carry on cause I know I don't be wrong. Brother, and this is about his kid falling out a window?

44:16Yeah, we didn't explain that to him. He was doing cocaine on a balcony. I don't know what the story was. Was he doing cocaine? I don't know.

44:24Bobby Lee:He loved cocaine. traditionally he wrote a song about it but it's about his son falling out of a fucking 53rd 53rd story apartment how do you move on after that god how do you move on after that 53 floors like this no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

44:55Bobby Lee:So long. How long is that? That's a long time. Long time, man. No. Oh, my God. No. That's so fun, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Forever. Yeah. Whoa. Look who's here. Come on in, Prince. Sit down in these chairs. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You could have came in and mugged you. Hi, boys. Did you guys lock the door? No, we left it open for you. What's wrong with that? You don't like that? Jack Black did it. Yeah, Jack Black. Ship Station. Chugga, chugga, chugga. We go to Ship Station. We have an online store. And since the inception of Bad Friends, we've been using Ship Station. And we love it. We really do.

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46:13Bobby Lee:That's exactly right. We've been using ShipStation for a long time. We're going to use them for an even longer time to get you what you want from us. So wow your customers and get rave reviews with cheaper, faster, and better shipping. Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a 60-day free trial at ShipStation.com slash badfriends. There's no credit card or contract required and you can cancel anytime. That's ShipStation.com slash badfriends. Cash app. Hey, man. I want to feel safe when I'm transferring money. And I didn't feel safe. I used a competitive app years ago and I got hacked. Yeah. Okay. And that was so annoying because someone was renting a boat in Florida and my bank was like, are you in Florida?

46:47Bobby Lee:I was like, no, I'm in LA. Well, I needed that boat, dude. You did need that boat. No. And thanks to Cash App, they have high, high end security that keeps you and your money safe, that protects you the way you deserve it. When you get the Cash App card, not only do you get access to a ton of perks like benefits, exclusive early access to nationwide concerts, pre-sales or discounts on popular brands, but you also have extra security with the power to instantly lock or unlock your card right from your phone in one tap. I wish I had that. Turn on your security lock and your Cash App settings now to keep your account and your information safer than ever and pay attention to scam warnings if sending money to someone new.

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47:52Bobby Lee:Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank member FDIC. Instant discounts provided by Cash App, a Block Incorporated brand. Visit cash.app.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Find the family fun you're looking for in Missouri. Whether your crew is searching for this, up for something more like this, seeking adventure like this, or just really, really need something more like this, your family will find the perfect vacation in Missouri. Missouri, it's the getaway that gets...

48:31All of you. Plan your family fun at visitmo.com Is your hair wet or just greasy? Wet. Let's go to the shower. Okay.

48:41Bobby Lee:You look good, though. Look at the lettuce on the kid. H, don't get defensive. He's doing all right. Let's ask you a fucking question, man. Your hair looks good, too. Looks nice. I want to feel like... It does. You cut it. It looks stylish. Introduce our fucking guest. Kevin Ryan H. Foley from RU Garbage. Ladies and gentlemen, RU Garbage is in the house. Thank you. Love the chair. Happy to be here. Do you like the chair? Hate the chair. Why do you hate the chair? Because I'm a fat pig. I feel like Biggie. This is what Biggie felt like his whole career. Give me the loot. Give me the loot. That's the one phrase he knows.

49:14Bobby Lee:I'm not kidding. He says that every week. It's the only thing I know. That's great. Because that came off quick. I was like, damn, Bobby's a fucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why do you say mean, diminutive stuff about yourself? Yeah, dude. I'm all fatty. You're successful now. You feel, you feel, are you bigger than you were before? I'm actually going on the way down. I started ZepBound, what, six weeks ago? What's it called? ZepBound. Zep bound. Yeah. Is it like Ozempic and Wigovie? He's on Wigovie. I mean, Wigovie. Yeah, me too. You are? You want it? I'm down 40 pounds. What do you mean? You always look good, though.

49:39Bobby Lee:I've never survived. Nah, he's super skid up. I blew up. Really? Yeah. I'm down 30. I'm down 30. You look great. You're down 30. Can you see? Yeah. I told you that as soon as I came in. The hair looks good. You look thin. You look Hollywood. You're 35 pounds this guy's got off now. 35 pounds. 30. Yeah, thanks. What would you get the biggest where you were at? Probably 250. Shut the fuck up. Wow. How tall are you? 5? Yeah, 5 '11", probably a smidge under 6. What? 250? That was big. I was boozing a lot. Boozing, eating good food. You have the roundest eyes I've ever seen. Thanks, bud. You, not so much.

50:16Zingers! Bring them out! Bring them out! And Foley, your eyes are pretty Asian-y. Really? To me, yeah, it's more Japanese. It's more Ronin. Okay. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, you know, a bigger samurai. I like that. Yeah, yeah.

50:31Bobby Lee:I will say, if you gain weight, it does smush your eyes a little bit. A little bit, yeah. When you lose some fucking weight, those things are going to be big. Yeah, yeah. Beautiful eyes. Are you thinking about getting the injection? What do you mean injection? Oh, no, I mean, you're already on it? I'm on it, yeah. Is it the same thing as Ozempic and... No, it's different. The side effects aren't as bad, and yeah, it's... Zepbound is a brand name for the prescription medication. tierzepatide used for a chronic weight okay let's go down to let's see what the uh what the side effects are generally considered safe when used as a directed but comes with a potential side effects nausea vomiting diarrhea constipation you already have all these stuff to begin with you know that's and it made me gay yeah yeah oh no shit yeah it's awesome yeah i like it and then you guys are sharing hotel rooms fatigue and hair loss you got a lot of lettuce who cares you're fine the constipation i have a problem with really yeah yeah brutal i take metamucil for it yeah the combat they'll be good three days remember that i i celebrated oh yeah it was three no yeah three days three days and i sent you a poop photo yeah it was nice yeah that it was a celebration saved it printed it yeah yeah that's the kind of relationship we have you get you get clogged up on this not so bad the ozempic it was brutal it was like i was getting chemo that's why i had to stop did you throw up too oh i was throwing up ozempic was awful awful oh nauseous you're on it too huh buddy I don't have a fucking one side effect I'm humming it's great on Zepbound or on Zepbound you guys are both on it you guys sponsored by it do a read real fast into the camera are you a fat piece of shit you have no self-control you want to see your dick look a little bit bigger get on Zepbound hey dad is your dick look bigger um no same size really you don't get it there's no more life in it 30 pounds 25 pounds came out of my penis I had a very thick penis yeah yeah that's already here it was like a boys spam can yeah you can't change that you know what i mean that's uh hey it's genetic no as you lose weight it looks it looks bigger mine's starting to look a little bigger you've seen that uh sydney sweeney commercial he's like my jeans my jeans are asian you know i don't like it fuck you yeah i i don't like what we're doing right now i'm not making funny i got a small piece myself i don't have a small piece that's the thing that's the thing that's the thing either yeah yeah wait wait i don't have one that's the thing i know yeah for my body structure sure very good okay like you know like spud webb okay your dick and jump high what are you i'm just saying there's no obviously spud webb is not gonna have shaquille on his yes he is yes he does historically you've never heard of this this guy has a fucking pipe it fell out of his shorts one time when he was dunking the confidence you need to jump that high as a little guy.

53:07Bobby Lee:How tall was Spudweb? He's got a big one. 5 '6". 5 '6". 5 '6". Wow. God, what a man, huh? He was great. Twitter's been feeding me a lot of Asian porn lately. I don't know why. Twitter's feeding him? Amen. He's obsessed that there's like full-blown porn on Twitter. It's crazy. He's like all over. You know there's porn on the internet. I know, but something about Twitter. It's crazy. Why do you like it so much? You think just because it's like you're reading about news and disaster shit and then you get off to a little Asian foot down? I don't know. Oh, it's awesome. I love it. What's your favorite kind?

53:36Of porn? Yeah. Of Asian. Of Asian? Yeah. Japanese. Yeah. Japanese, Korean. Wait, wait. Japanese goes number one? Of course. In terms of porn. Oh.

53:45Bobby Lee:Japanese is always number one. Everybody knows. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Japanese girls? Anime, anime, anime. Japanese has always been number one. They've been number one forever. Then three. K-pop's making a move, though. It is making a move. Not good enough. That girl, Rose, is beautiful. Who? The singer Rose. You know what I'm talking about? Why are you looking at me? Like I know everything Like he's a fucking expert In every Japanese porn star Yeah yeah What is it called? Rose what? Her name's Rose She does the song with Bruno Mars Oh Apata Bobby you don't know this? Yeah Oh she's gorgeous You like her?

54:17Gorgeous Great singer too Would you leave your Wife for her? Absolutely Yeah Throw it all away Nice dude Would you really throw it Kevin how about you? What? No No

54:27Bobby Lee:You're not gonna leave your wife for Rose? No Number one goo And of course I wouldn't Oh my god Taylor Swift What Kev? What? I wouldn't No, no, no, no You don't like Asian girls? No, I do like Asian girls I've dated an Asian girl It's the top I've dated we talked about it before Yeah Well, white's number one on your list, isn't it? You always say keep it white That's what he says Keep it white, baby You're married to a white I'm married to a white Yeah, yeah, yeah She's a good looking She's a good looking gal I'm not questioning that I'm questioning the racism He just did the Trump thing She's a good looking girl.

55:02Bobby Lee:She's very good looking. You look at her, she's good. What's been going on with the dogs? I haven't seen you guys in a long time. On tour, running around? On tour, the back on the block tour. Getting by is what we're doing. What are you talking about? You guys are cruising. We're getting by. Rough summer. Why? Rough summer. Why'd you tour in the summer? We didn't tour in the summer. We were off. Kippy had a baby. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. First one? Yeah, first one. Oh, my God. The white one, too. Let's guess the name. Yeah. Donovan. That's really good. A big McNabb guy. Chat. You're attacking my whiteness?

55:35Yeah. No, because you're an artist. I'm an artist? Yeah, it's going to be a little artsy. I call a guy fat for a little bit.

55:43Bobby Lee:I used to be able to. You call him fat. I do the Asian thing. Devin. Devin. Kevin and Devin. Devin's good. Yeah, what is it? What? The baby's name. Marcus. Marcus. No, we went with Dan. Dan. Daniel. Dan? Daniel. Daniel. You went with Dan? Daniels? Why? He was gonna go with Earthquark. I don't know that. I ain't never met a bitch named Cardaliza. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mr. Pat? Mm-hmm. I mean, was that a hard struggle to come up with then? Irish, Irish. It's an old Irish fucking thing. That's how we do it. Okay. Yeah. That's some Irish pig shit. But it's not like I'm gonna fucking name my kid Chong.

56:24Should. Chong Lee. Ching and Chong would be amazing.

56:27Bobby Lee:Good name, good boy, strong lad. It's a family name. You're gonna do this whole fucking game where people are like, he's in the top birth percentile of all that bullshit. He's a big family. He's already on this. See, I know that's what they do. 99. Well, let me guess the weight. The weight was... Him? 450. The weighted Dan, your boy... Went full term. At born? At born? I don't remember. I don't know any of them. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't remember. But H, when you look at the baby, do you feel like family? Does it look like you? No. Yeah. Does it feel like... Do you love the baby? I mean, he's your best friend, right?

56:59Yeah. Adorable Irish baby. So if Kevin passed away, would you take - I always love coming to talk to these guys. Would you take care of - That was a good time.

57:09Bobby Lee:He wouldn't let me. So who's the godfather? Don't you have a godfather? Not yet. You got to pick somebody. It's gotta be - It's gotta be - I'm gonna go my brother. No, no, no, no. It's gotta be - Let me push for H. No, he's gotta be his brother. No, I would love to hear this. Please state your case, Mr. Mr. What? You were gonna say something. Go ahead. Well, Chong or whatever it is. No, I'm gonna say Miss Bobby Lee, my good dear friend. Okay. I don't know your brother, so this is tough. He's on that super fentanyl we were talking about earlier. Would you give me your kid if you passed away? I mean, he would be first in line.

57:40Yeah, he's not him. Yeah. What do you mean? My relationship with him, you don't have the same relationship with H? I do. But I'm not Andrew. That would be like if -

57:50Bobby Lee:I don't even know what that means. What is going on? That would be like if Andrew left his kid with you. I would. Yeah, Andrew would leave. I would leave my kid with him. I leave my kid with him. Okay. Yeah, and he would make my godfather. I would leave my kid with him, but not the other way. Yeah, so what's your fucking problem? Because he has better prospects. Yeah. And I'm an idiot. I'm a moron. You're my only prospect. You're not a moron, buddy. There's no chance. I don't know. It seems like they're turning against me. You don't seem like a moron. You're not a moron, dude. Name me a city in Kansas.

58:21You can see the question is confusing. That's a bit of a straight question. Kansas City. Yeah, exactly Boom, boom, boom

58:29Bobby Lee:Capital of California Um, fuck It's not LA It's uh Starts with an S Stop Sacramento There it is There we go You know what? Take my baby Yay! Thanks, buddy I knew that's all it took I would want that But no, it'd be bad Do you have kids? You don't have kids No kids No kids Ask me a question Um What is the capital of Pennsylvania? Pittsburgh No Oh, fuck Do you know? Name something that comes with hot pot Hot pot? Yeah. Potatoes. Pretty good. Very thinking. That's actually very funny. We tried this one time. We did the Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? We lost. We failed every fucking question.

59:06Yeah, we did it on Patreon.

59:07Bobby Lee:But are you guys college graduates? Yeah. I went to Temple University. That's a good school. What about you? I flunked out sophomore year. God is good. Where? Widener University. Shout out to him. Played football. Hey. Widener? Yeah, Widener's awesome. All right. You know it? I went to Skinnier. our rivals. We beat you guys all the time. Could never catch them. The game's over, I guess. No, I went to Arizona State, dude. I'm a fucking, I'm a Dumbo Bumbo. Yeah, it's a big dummy school. People always say that. Not in Arizona. I think they're awesome schools. No, wow, they're fun. Hot shit. It's a party school.

59:43Doesn't the one have like a lazy river? That was like always the big thing. It was a great rumor.

59:46Bobby Lee:And they also said 90 % acceptance rate. Let's go. That's pretty good. Can you check Temple Universities? Yeah, it's got to be like 30. I bet you it's under 50. No, it's... really what do they have like they claim they have like 500 000 students they have like the biggest oh you're just as high as us wow hey what's the school what school has the highest acceptance rate do that i want to know what that is let's take a guess my guess would be florida state uh yeah gotta be a state no but it's like ah penn state maybe no they just have so many oh yeah colleges staten island yes that's uh suny yeah that makes suny's like that 98 right university of mississippi is cited with a 98 so everyone could go to missus if i was denied a dixie university and what am i bobby kill myself no no he didn't go to college i didn't get one to nothing why would he need to look at this huh yeah i'm a brainiac dude ask me anything he was already a brainiac potatoes hot pot weren't you already working like right after high school yeah in a sweatshop yeah making nikes is that what you're saying in fact yeah he made those i made those yeah yeah yeah they're a little uh i got i got some notes for you no you were already cruising in entertainment a little no no i started at 23.

1:00:53oh really yeah yeah no i from high school to 23, no future, almost die. Damn. Yeah, because I had no future. I had no idea what I was going to do.

1:01:03Bobby Lee:You guys got six guys on the road with you. What are you talking about? Videographer, producer, manager? Yeah, we got a guy, DiOps, we call him, director of operations. He gave himself that title. He pretty much drives the van and stuff. No, he's our boy, Ryan D. He's great. We got him, we got two openers and a producer. and then us two. Two opener comics that we might know or know. Yeah, Colin Chamberlain and Sam Rubinoff. So, no. Who are with us right now? Like New York guys. Colin Chamberlain and Sam Rubinoff. Colin works with Jessica Kirsten a lot. And Sam is Jewish. Yes. Sam is Jewish. You have a resident, you gotta have one.

1:01:38Sam is operating in LA, you gotta have a Jew. Trust me, I know.

1:01:41Bobby Lee:You guys do the bus when you're on the road or no? We have. We've done the bus. Fuck that. I kinda like the bus. You don't like it? Love the bus. We'll never do that shit ever again. We love it. This guy had night terrors every fucking night. You got a bad hang. Yeah. I loved it. No, dude. I'd rather just go to the hotel, get a nice hotel. I get that. Yeah. I get that. You don't like waking up in the new city? No, I like waking up in a nice hotel bed instead of listening to this guy scream bloody murder every fucking night and then him up till 5.30 playing video games and peeing every - Yeah, he does.

1:02:13Bobby Lee:Jesus. Bobby! I poo in the - Yeah, he pooed on the bus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rule number one. That's not the bus. That's the squad. You guys got to fucking step it up a little bit. Yeah. Nah, honestly, fuck this whole team. You don't know. You got a weak crew. My favorite is with Burt. Being on the bus with Burt. Oh, yeah. Well, he's got nine buses. I sleep like a baby when he's - I almost died. Remember I fell off the fucking bunk? I remember. You guys did that tour with him? No, no, no. We weren't on that, but I - That was national headline. I saw that on fucking - Well, he posted about it so he could cancel shows.

1:02:42Bobby Lee:Unfortunately, probably we will not be performing tonight. I'll be back in 2026. What the fuck happened? I cut to my rib. All right, so I was on the top bunk. it was pitch black like three in the morning which he shouldn't be in the first place now you're a bottom bunk guy i i oh i also asked i'm a bottom i asked people hey can i get the bottom i have little legs that's that's like no i claimed it that's fucked up like bully shit shame on you yeah so i'm on the top bunk right it's pitch black i don't know where we're in the middle of the south somewhere right right i open up the curtain right and i have to go to the bathroom so I I take my hand I can't see it to brace myself on the opposite opposite side of the other bunk the ledge and I miss it and I just I fall forward and I hit my mouth on the fucking thing this guy thinks you're gonna reach across the bus these arms are like a foot long got T-rex arms yeah anybody wake up what anybody wake up no one woke up and I was on the ground with knocked unconscious they woke up they were like yeah you got knocked out Yeah, and I and I'm just blood everywhere.

1:03:42So I go to the front of the boss. I sit there and I go to the driver and I go I think I didn't go home for all he goes now man. We're seven hours away I'm bleeding. I think I need stitches. No seven hours dude And I start testing bird everybody no more applies everyone's asleep Yeah, I'm just sitting there just in a pool of blood for like hours. It was fucking crazy Get a paper towel. What's a mice on it? So can I get all that what do you think dude? Did you need stitches? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, he did. Ooh. I think I got like a bunch of stitches and - Three.

1:04:13Bobby Lee:You got three. I knew a bunch was a big thing. Wait, wait. What do you mean? Well, he said you didn't get 15. You got three. I got a lot. Three. Four. No, it was three. What's it say in the lawsuit? What? 45 stitches, broken neck. And you know what was great? And this is Bert and, you know, the whole team. Leigh-Anne. Yeah, the whole team. The squad. Love the squad. Love the squad. And they were like, you know, obviously go home. But they paid me for the gigs. great which is so cool that's what he liked the most every time we go on tour he's gonna fall off the bunk oh I can't put a phone that's getting off cheap they're probably worried you're gonna fucking I would never do it even if I died I wouldn't do it not to Bert and Leanne there's other people I love them so much but not them you can't sue them you can't meet better people no they're probably the best two of the best people I've ever met Leanne, come on she's the best yeah she's great you know what's so funny though the bus thing our driver that was also that guy was a fucking lunatic we had a lunatic Mega Man what the fuck was his nickname He had like a, it was like a superhero nickname.

1:05:12Bobby Lee:One night I wake up because the bus is like, you know, this. And I'm like, dude, what's going on? I walk up there and I pop up the curtain open. You know what I mean? I pop off the buttons. This motherfucker is going off on his wife. Do you remember this? He's yelling at this dude. That's awesome. He's like, that's what I fucking said. Is that when that's how it is to fucking be? And he's yelling into his headset mic. And so I was like, he's wide awake. He's wide awake, so I clipped the button back on, went back and laid it. I thought he might be dozing. That dude's not going to sleep for six more hours.

1:05:43Bobby Lee:No, no, no. He's locked in. We'll see you later, Salt Lake City. We'll be there. Fucking bitch. I hated it, though. We had one that broke down. We did Route 66, and we had one that broke down and barely made the gig, like pulled in as like, you know. Oh, no, see? We had to sleep on the bus just parked in Tulsa or something. Yeah, that was scary. In a sketch behind the venue because he couldn't get the bus started. Did you guys go to Memphis by any chance? Nah. We'll never Bring up Memphis I fucking hated it It was PTSD Like the show We tanked shit In a way we've never I bombed so hard You catch that That just happened No no no But the city of Memphis Is also It's a special kind of bomb Recently Yeah A couple years ago Two years ago Yeah yeah yeah Dude it was so bad We've stayed We were on the Elvis's We were on Graceland We played fucking The Graceland stages And we're thinking This is the best Dude we're at the fucking Layup Dude nope Tank shit And then we were also like Can we go get something to eat and they're like, I don't recommend it.

1:06:37Yeah.

1:06:38Bobby Lee:It's not the nicest area. And I was like, well, we're hungry. That was the room. You guys don't have bad gigs? Yeah, no. Yeah, every once in a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Worst gig, say, what's the city? They're not going to name a city. No, that you tank the hardest in. On the tour, what was that? Where were we? Oh, it was that one that we pulled into. It wasn't Salt Lake. Somewhere down there in the southwest. Like a Denver kind of town, but in, I think, Arizona. What was Phoenix? Phoenix, Cousin, Flagstaff. Flagstaff, yeah. It is. Flagstaff on a Wednesday Fucking sold light Is that the venue?

1:07:11That was the one we played Flagstaff got you It was one of those things They ended up like they had a good time I can tell you our fans in Memphis Did not have a good time Not with us

1:07:26Bobby Lee:Flag's also pretty beautiful A lot of whites like to go up there and get married A lot of cash up there One thing we did do to circumvent the bus because when the bus is very - Circumvent, what does that mean? Go around. Okay. Don't use big words around my friend, man. My apologies. Being condescending. My apologies. Let us reiterate. That staff's pretty good. They had circumvent up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Find a way around. Those are good. We bought a very nice, the nicest conversion van we could buy, and we kind of used that as the tour bus. Like, we'll do runs. Di Ops, our boy Ryan D, will drive it out to Michigan.

1:08:00He'll pick us up at the airport in Michigan, and then we're cruising around in that. for the week. Wait, why Michigan? Or like wherever the run is. Oh, I was like, yeah,

1:08:07Bobby Lee:you guys aren't living. Are you guys living in New York? Where do you live? Queens. Queens, kids. Both of you? Nah, I got a Manhattan. You're not getting that - Enamony Island. Yeah, you're not getting that Austin itch, huh? Nah. The heat would kill me. Yeah, true. Genuinely, yeah. Do you guys dread being here? Not at Bad Friends, but in LA. I love LA. I don't have any of that shit that other people say. That's what I like about you. I don't like it. It's, you know, it's rapid. Hey, Troop Troop. What's up, Troop Troop? I love it. I don't hate it. I'm not one of those guys. I just don't love it.

1:08:37It's just not... I enjoy my time out here. I like seeing my friends. I get it. We got a fucking very nice house in the hills. We're having a big... Oh, you rented a crib for the kids. Yeah.

1:08:46Bobby Lee:What are we talking about? Nice. Nice property. Good place to OD at. Airbnb? Airbnb. Airbnb. Looked it up on Zillow. $6.5 million. How long are you in town for? Let me get that right. Let me say it again. circumvent circumvent how long are you guys in town for until Thursday yeah we were here Saturday to Thursday we called you you didn't answer yeah he loves taking people to dinner I was looking for your car in the parking lot to see what you were whipping around I don't drive anymore man not after the accident what accident you don't even hear about his accident he almost died nuh is that true you're fucking with me no dude look at his eye look at my eye my eyes all fucked up I hit a couple I was pink guy I seen that all it was bad it wasn't his fault in a car it wasn't his fault though well I mean I was drinking but yeah it was all right easy does it no it's not funny why would you joke no i shouldn't i shouldn't joke about it i mean they almost i mean he i mean he almost died dude no yeah dude it's in fucking the reporter the reporter brought a deadline i'll pull it up let's see if that's my that's my ticket there from the hospital yep holy shit it was really bad it was really bad did you get knocked out yeah dude i was there for three days at the hospital i don't remember anything for almost a week yeah almost a week like five days dude he was hooked up with machines it was It was insane.

1:10:00He's lying. No, dude. Pull it up. Let me see the Hollywood Reporter. No, no, no. I would have heard this. We are going to pull it up, but here's already. Once they type it up. No, no, no. What I'm going to say. Hey, Kevin, will you listen? Nope. Yeah. Sorry. Okay. I got excited. Right now, you have sad eyes. You just complimented them. I know, but they're drooping. They're sad, and I don't like it. He's tired. So what I'm going to say is before we look it up, I want to say this, all right? Already, will you look at me right now? I'm not done talking Go Alright We told you a fact Okay And you doubted it

1:10:34Bobby Lee:That's right yeah Sure Which means there's division Between our teams That's right yeah Right We're not cohesive No we're just not suckers Yeah We know what you two are up to We lie all the time There you go Community Andrew Santino Formerly said that he crashed His Kia Sorento Incident appears to have been minor 2001 2021 It was a 2021 Kia Sorento Yeah That's wrong He's been in the hospital For three, four, five years every day i was only there for three days yeah i know those four years that was one of my favorite bits i always kept saying i got really good though i crashed a kia sorrento yeah people fucking for some reason there but if you said you got in a car actually like yeah dude i crashed my old kia sorrento people like damn like they buy it right away yeah i don't know why the car validates the accident i was gonna make fun of you for driving a kia i was a kid what do you drive flashy guy i drive you live in queens you don't have a car do you have a car yeah i got a jeep okay yeah oh so he's better than a kia hot shot yeah i have a question bobby are you dating anybody can you talk about that or no okay good no no no i'm absorbing what you're asking uh-huh and um i'm going to answer you properly okay um yes i am okay yeah great yeah um i'm getting a lot of shit because they're white women okay okay they're all white so you're dating casually you're not white women yeah yeah yeah that's cool and my asian you know friends and family are going What's up, dude?

1:11:52Really? Yeah, and I'm like, those are the ones that like me. What do your friends and family say? What? What's up, dude? Oh, yeah.

1:11:57Bobby Lee:Yeah, yeah. Are they Mexican? No, that's... Some of them, yeah. Yeah, some of them. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, but they go... Do other Asian celebrities give you shit for that kind of stuff? They don't talk to him. No? No, you look at Steven Yeun. Uh-huh. He's a nice Asian woman. John Cho, a nice Asian woman. Yeah. I just... What's your problem? Because those Asian women find me to be unclean, which I'm not, Very clean, man. Excuse me? You're a very clean man. Yeah, but people think, based on my online presence or whatever, that I'm a dirty fucker, right? The booger eating and stuff like that? What?

1:12:31The booger eating and stuff like that? Well, have you not? Of course, yeah. Yeah, exactly.

1:12:36Bobby Lee:I've never done it. Me either. Never once. You've eaten your boogers? I've eaten my boogers. Yeah, when I was a younger man. Not interested. Yeah. What about touching your butthole? If it comes out, it doesn't go back in. That's how I feel. When's the last time you touched your butthole? Bare finger. I had a stint I had a run I had a run I got over it You know what I mean Not sexually Just touching it What not sexually Yeah Oh I was talking about sexually What do you mean Just touching my butthole Just for In passing Whatever Like a little boop No no no No He loves it Bobby What about you I'll do it now Yeah Yeah I'm not afraid of it Sexually fine Yeah if you're Playing with a toy But I mean you know what I mean If you're having fun You've done that With toys on you You should see the size of the thing I put in my ass Show him the thing I put in my ass Yeah right he's lying He's got it He's got it.

1:13:20Bobby Lee:Unbelievable, the size of this fucking thing. I wouldn't have suspected that. My man, I like that. You don't know. What do you know? I'm gay. Are you? What? Shut up. How long have you known me? Yeah, that thing. I put that thing. Whoa! Man, can I borrow that thing? Holy shit. No, you're married. I've met your wife, haven't I? So you think. Oh, really? You've met my beard. Nice. Yeah. I love that. No, I'm seeing a couple of guys right now, but none of them. Nothing serious. Nothing's sticking. No, yeah, I've never touched my butthole unsexually. Really? What are you doing with it? I don't know Making sure it's there?

1:13:52Just crossing that line To touch my butthole Yeah I have a difficult time Committing right now To your butthole? To your butthole? Yeah Really? It moves What do you mean relationship-wise? It vibrates Huh? It goes like that Your butthole does? Yeah, yeah And I don't like it's sassy Jeez No, in terms of women Yeah, you're playing the field You're having fun I'm not playing the field I want to find You're dating No, I want to find I want to find I want to fall in love No, stop that You don't? You went through that How'd that turn out? Get out of here. I know. Enjoy yourself. No, but I'm ready again, I think.

1:14:22No. That's your mistake. Get ready. Get back up on the horse. Bobby, fall in love with yourself. Uh-oh. That's who you fall in love with.

1:14:31Bobby Lee:Nah, fuck that. Let him fall in love with a woman. No. Yeah, I don't know if I'll let him get married. No. Yeah, for sure. How happy are you? You got a boy. Yeah, very. Are you fucking amped? Yeah. Are you nervous? Yeah, it's crazy. I'm still nervous. I don't know what's going on. Did you do a gender reveal thing? I would have could have, dude. Would have been fun to do it. Did you? Have you done that? No, I don't have any kids. You don't? No, but if I did, I think I would do the general reveal, but I'd do it real crazy. Like what? Blow it up. You know what I mean? You do a golf ball. You do the golf ball.

1:14:59Bobby Lee:That's what you got to do. No, no. You know, like light a boat on fire. Color of the smoke. What do I mean? Real extravagant. Something obnoxious. Are you guys going to have kids? Do you want to have kids? We can have kids. No kidding? No, we tried. Yeah, it doesn't. Thanks for bringing that up. It can't go through the butthole for some reason. I don't even know why. It's not a loop. I know we thought it was a loop, but it's not a loop. No, we tried. We can't do it. You being serious? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tried to adopt, maybe. Would you want to do that? Yeah, but a white Slav.

1:15:27Bobby Lee:You know, a little white Slavic baby? Those are pretty adoptable right now. Really? Not a little Asian kid? Not a white Slav. Little Asian kid? I got a little Asian kid. Hey, buddy. I have one. If I was going to adopt, yeah, I think that's a whole other thing. I have friends that were adopted, and that's a whole other set of things that come along with it. Sure. So I might, but I don't know. I'm just not sure. The good thing about adoption is you got time. You know what I mean? I don't have to do whatever. Yeah, I do whatever. You're not fighting a biological clock. There's always a kid wanting to be adopted.

1:15:54Bobby Lee:Maybe. Seriously, maybe. I'd like to adopt a kid that's like 17. Give him one good year. An athlete. Get an athlete. Yeah, dude. You know what I mean? Get him up to Chaminade, one of those high schools. If you adopted a kid, and years later, they want to find their biological family. Yeah, that's what's tough. Would that hurt your feelings? No, if the adoption is open or closed, right? Some of them are... Even if it was closed, they're like, you know what, dad? You're a great dad. I mean, even though, you know, you're so angry sometimes. But anyway, you know, I'm going to look for my biological family.

1:16:25Is that okay? Yeah, that's good. Go back to China. Is that what you want? Hold on, Bobby. Go back to China. I'll send you right back.

1:16:30Bobby Lee:Wait, that's the reason why... I'll put you in the box that you came in and I'll send you right back. You'll be on the bottom of a Hyundai trailer. See that attitude you're doing right now? That's the reason why I want to find my biological parents because this is not the way you talk to me. Wait, hang on a second. Well, you're the only kid I know that didn't get into Mississippi State. How about that? Back to China. Hang on. So the kid you would adopt would be... The kid that you would adopt would be a bad actor? Is that what's going on here? What was that accent? What? What was that accent? You're better than that.

1:16:58No, no. It's Cleveland, dude. That's it, yeah. That is outside of Cleveland. Well, let me do it again. I was a kid. Do Australian.

1:17:05Bobby Lee:No, do Australian. Yeah, I adopted an Australian kid. Or do British. I'll give you that Make it easy Cockney Date Cockney That's not Cockney Brother he's not getting dialects Date Yes son I want to find my biological family Oh they're in China I told you that I thought I was British Date Well you are You're a British Chinese kid You do a kid then Don't do it kid Yeah don't We're your gay parents We adopted you This is a fantasy we play out all the time Yeah this is a fantasy How old am I You're 18 years old now And you're telling us. Telling you what? That I'm gay? And I want to all hook up? Sure.

1:17:45That's the kind of porn I like, by the way. Step parents porn? Very nice. I did see on TikTok today a montage of kids coming out to their parents and their parents being so supportive. It made me cry. Oh, that's awesome. Was there any one not supportive? Well, that's not the montage I saw. Those are my favorite ones. What? No!

1:18:05Bobby Lee:Not in my house! that's crazy when that happens when you hear that shit how could somebody not even that, they kick them out oh I can't believe that I had a buddy when I first moved to LA this guy that I met his parents sent him to pray away the gay camp oh that's crazy shit but it made him more gay it's awful it's like there was never gonna fix anything and his mom used to say wild shit she'd come, we lived in the same complex his mom would come and visit and she'd be like how come he can't get a pretty girl like the girl you're dating? And I had to fucking keep up the lie. I was like, I think he loves being single.

1:18:41Bobby Lee:Oh, really? She didn't know? No, they fuck. They're just in denial. Yeah, it's sheer denial. But don't parents know? You would think. You can usually smell a gay in your house. Yeah, I'm just like, dad, dad. Sure. You ever go to your friend's house and they're like, this is my son Riley. He's like, hello. You're like, uh-oh. I thought the parents already knew. Do you like dancing, Riley? Yeah, I think they know from a young age. Yeah, of course you know. I'd just be like, yeah, I know that already, kid. Yeah. Get the fuck out of the house. Now, pick your beans. What if your son came to you and said, Dad, I think I'm gay.

1:19:17Bobby Lee:What do you say? I'd be okay with it. Yeah. Great. Yeah. Would you be disappointed at all? I'd start calling my daughter, but sure. No, I'm kidding. No, I mean, I think, I don't know. I'm three months in. It'd be weird if he told me now. Oh, it's coming. Five months. That's what they do. Five months. Your baby was like, I got gay girl. So stupid, dude. Starts listening to Chapel Rhone. Yeah, I don't know. I would be fine. You'd have to be fine. I don't know. I'm a progressive guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. My best friend's gay. Right. Sure. On the weekends sometimes. You never tried. What? You never tried to flip the other side of the menu as Charlie Sheen.

1:19:53Bobby Lee:Great line. We were talking. We were discussing that. Great line. That whole thing is fantastic. Doing your show. Doing your show. One of the most fun. I remember doing it and being like, oh yeah, I want to go to that. It'll be fun. It'll be cool. And then I did it and I was like, that's one of the best, most inventive podcasts on the internet. Your rhythm is perfect. You guys' relationship is fucking amazing. Seeing you guys grow. We love you guys. I love you guys. Seeing you guys grow and I was also like, this is, some people take off and you're like, when? You know what I mean? When it happens to someone, you're like, yes, good.

1:20:24Bobby Lee:Yeah, that is the go. This should be the big thing. Go, go, go. We love you guys so much. Everybody in the comedy pod Little Sphere Has been so great to us And nobody's jealous Nobody's You know High tides raise all ships Yeah And that was an away game We want you in the studio In New York I come to New York Yeah I did it Both of you You did it in the old studio You were in the old studio You got a nice big studio I know but I did I went to the side of one studio Yeah yeah yeah Take it easy Yeah yeah yeah We'd love to have you back Where's the new studio at? Midtown Midtown Second biggest comedy podcast Studio in the city It's bigger than that Seriously?

1:20:56Bigger than Schultz's Yeah Wow Wow. But Schultz is - Come for the king. Come for the king. I like that. Schultz is way nicer, and his staff is all cool as shit and gorgeous. They're all minorities.

1:21:06Bobby Lee:You guys have only whites. That's why I want to go to RU Garbage. No, we got an Italian guy. Yeah, we got an Italian guy. We got an Italian guy. We don't eat with him, but you know. You guys want to promote anything? Yeah, check out the pod, RU Garbage, where we do twice a week public, and then Patreon as well. We have a very active Patreon, and we're on tour right now. back on the block tour. All tickets available at RUGarbage.com. It's stand up and we play AYG with the crowd. And we have a special, the Route 66 special, which is a combination of all that. And we each have half hours on our page.

1:21:38Go see the kids.

1:21:39Bobby Lee:RUGarbage.com is where you can get all that information. We'll put the link in the description down below for the fans. We appreciate you guys. We love you guys. Thank you for being garbage friends. Love you. Thank you for being part of Garbage Pant fan. And say, into that camera at the same time, say thank you for being a bad friend. Thanks for being a bad friend. Good boys. Yeah. Woo-hoo. Yeah. Woo-hoo.

1:22:09Yeah. Woo-hoo. Yeah.

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