He's a Rat!

7:36Bobby Lee:But that don't, see, he's agreeing. A midday brush is really nice.

7:39Khalyla Kuhn:You know what the dentist told me? I have so many missing teeth. He said by the age of 60, all of them are going to fall out. Congrats. That's huge. So then I don't know what to do.

7:47Bobby Lee:Well, your vision will be good, but your mouth. Perfect vision with gums. I can see everything.

8:00Bobby Lee:I'm fucked. No. I'm fucked. I'm fucked. By the way, you're just going to end up getting what everybody gets is caps. Everybody gets caps now. No, what they have to do is drill into my bone. But wait a minute. Veneers are different than caps. You can just get caps on.

8:13Khalyla Kuhn:No, he said that my teeth are so weak. Why? I don't know why. Let me see. You have great teeth. I know, but they're weak. The foundations and the root, it's all fucked. I have like gingivitis number five or whatever.

8:26Bobby Lee:But Koreans usually have very strong teeth. You can look this up. Koreans are actually known to have some of the strongest teeth in the world. Yeah.

8:31Khalyla Kuhn:So how come you didn't get that?

8:32Bobby Lee:I don't know.

8:33Khalyla Kuhn:Genetically, I got the armpit thing, but that's it.

8:35Bobby Lee:You did get the armpit thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at this. Yes, look at this. Zoom in. Many Koreans have strong, healthy teeth. A culture of meticulous oral hygiene. Prevalent 333 rule Brushing three times a day Told you

8:44Khalyla Kuhn:Three minutes each

8:45Bobby Lee:I'm telling you Koreans are known for having Phenomenal teeth This one was an exception This one was an exception And that's why he's the most famous Korean in the world Watch your fucking mouth Spaniard Yeah you bastard You know the disrespect Is out of back And out of control today You've been nuts today He came with an attitude this morning I know He was on the phone In the parking lot I saw And he waved me off I saw

9:06Khalyla Kuhn:Waved me off

9:07Bobby Lee:This is what he did

9:08Khalyla Kuhn:Okay I saw I saw I saw everything Okay he comes out of right goes towards your car i left a space for you because i know how angry you get

9:16Bobby Lee:thank you if i'm far close well because the doors hit because our parking spots were made

9:20Khalyla Kuhn:were made by brad williams designed our parking yeah yeah so i put a space between us and he comes out and he's the the door's literally between our cars and he goes towards you for some business information and Andrew b right then i and you're on the phone you're busy so i'm available and i I turned to Andreas and I go, is there anything I can help with you? He goes, nope. I go, can I help with something? He goes, you can do.

9:47Bobby Lee:What were you on the, who were you on the phone with? Who were you on the phone with, Hot Shot? You're being a Hot Shot. Who were you on the phone with, Hot Shot? You don't want to say?

9:54Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, it's a business, it's a secret business thing, but he goes, it's something I can talk you about. And I'm like, all right, so I guess I got nothing. Yeah, explain. Yeah, I got nothing. I told you, you are not gonna do it. That's true. But still ask. But still he wants to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, still ask. Dude, my hands are cramping up so bad. Drink that other water. Like everything's cramping up, dude. What do they do to you at the eye doctor? No, I haven't been drinking water all day. We gotta have some water. Okay, I'll tell you why I'm in a bad mood. Ow. I swear to God, I swear to God, I am cramping up everything.

10:33Bobby Lee:How do you solve hand cramps? Here we go. gently stretch get some electrolytes massage the affected area uh mccone will you come massage his

10:39Khalyla Kuhn:hands please no i'm being real dude everything is cramped do we have those heat things you put

10:43Bobby Lee:your hand in do we have that hand heat thing again where's the hand massager did we buy one of those i think i'm fine i'm fine you don't have to shake it or massage it so today just now before

10:53Khalyla Kuhn:i got here i'm gonna tell you what restaurant but i was sitting at a restaurant right and there was a girl and three guys sitting at a table right next to mine okay do you imagine i've seen that movie okay the whole table goes high we're big fans yeah right and the girl goes yeah i'm a big fan i have bad friends and i go that's fine i gotta go but we're one of these guys your boyfriends and she goes no no they're just friends of mine i go oh i go what are you looking for in a guy and she goes not asian wow did they laugh i wasn't even hitting on her dude well if you say to a girl

11:25Bobby Lee:what are you looking for okay time out you said do you have a boyfriend i'm cramping the fuck up guy that she got me all cramped up guy do you have a boyfriend i don't what are you looking for in a guy it seems like you're maybe saying are you interested in i no because they first of all he was just being unk oh you're unkin what's an what's an unk you you're unk you're king unk what is unk unk is like what the kids call us unks yeah like uncle yeah i was i was being polite

11:54Khalyla Kuhn:yeah right i go oh are any of these guys your boyfriend which is and they're like no we're

12:00Bobby Lee:just they were like we're just friends but that is an unk line like an unk says something like uh man that is a that's a short skirt for a day like today that's an unk line oh really it's an unk line

12:10Khalyla Kuhn:all right so i did that was an unk yeah you unked it yeah but could she say something oh my god could she say something different okay i'll be the girl ready yeah go ahead i go um well you have to

12:19Bobby Lee:approach me first i'm eating hey we're huge fans oh thanks i want to tell you we're huge fans thank you yeah oh um are these what are you these guys your boyfriend no these are all my friends we're

12:31Khalyla Kuhn:just friends oh cool oh so you're single i am yeah yeah well what kind of guys are you looking for

12:38Bobby Lee:tall guys oh cool much better tall guys guys who you know guys who are like mayflower material

12:47Khalyla Kuhn:what do you mean by that like you can build a ship people who came over on one of this first

12:51Bobby Lee:couple of boats.

12:53Khalyla Kuhn:Oh, I see. I see. Yeah. Like Amistad? People who own people like you. Oh, not Amistad. No,

13:02Bobby Lee:no opposite.

13:03Khalyla Kuhn:Opposite of Amistad.

13:04Bobby Lee:People who own those boats.

13:05Khalyla Kuhn:Oh, the people that own the boats. Those are the guys I like. Oh, okay. Yeah. Do you own a boat? A yacht.

13:11Bobby Lee:You own a yacht? Yeah. How big? Pretty fucking big. How many feet? Have you heard of Hantavirus? Is that you? That's my yacht. You guys are at it again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, don't get me started because you're the fourth person today who's talked about it. Everyone's freaking out about it. I'm going to tell you about it. Don't do a conspiracy. It's not going to...

13:31Khalyla Kuhn:I'm going to tell you about it. Bring it up. No, you don't have to even bring it up. Don't bring it up. I will tell you about it.

13:38Bobby Lee:Ask me. Don't bring it up. He's going to bring it up. Yeah, ask me. Okay, is the Hantavirus going to be the next plague, viral plague? Nope. Why is that? Because... Because we've gotten all of the bad food out of the way.

13:52Khalyla Kuhn:No, no, no. He's going to take a response. I'll tell you why. Why? Okay. There's different strains of this virus. Just like COVID? Just like COVID. Okay. But most of the... Don't look it up, man. Don't look it up. Don't look it up, guy. Most of the strains, you get it from rats. So if I... No, I'm being real. So if I'm in Brazil, I'm just an arbitrary country. Seemed pretty pointed. I was going to say Argentina, but I went Brazil. Sure. I'm in Colombia, right? right it's all in the same area i'm in peru now listen he's just naming south america yeah yeah all right so i'm in peru okay and i'm you know i'm mopping right always mopping a hallway yeah or an alleyway there happens to be rat shit and rat piss right or right this the particles go by the air i sniff it you can get it mostly that way.

14:48Khalyla Kuhn:That's how they get it? From huffing rat poop particles? Now there's one called the Andis strain, which is the one that's on the cruise ship, which is human to human.

14:58Bobby Lee:So this is like if you had it and you were kissing a girl, she gets it. But see the odds of getting it.

15:04Khalyla Kuhn:I think they're smelling the poop.

15:07Bobby Lee:You want to leave that bit in?

15:09Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, keep that bit in. Keep that in. Yeah, because sometimes we need anti-comedy. When he bombs. Yeah, because it makes us funnier. It's perfect. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, the loser. You're a loser. You're a fucking loser. But anyway. Unbutton another button. Unbutton another button. So human to human. Human to human. And even in that, it's very difficult to get, apparently. Really? Yes. Wow. Because the couple that got it on the cruise were sleeping together on the same bed.

15:34Bobby Lee:Well, they were husband and wife, right? Yeah, yeah.

15:35Khalyla Kuhn:That makes sense. Yeah, so that makes sense, right? But. The only scary part is this.

15:41Bobby Lee:Who got it first, by the way? Did the guy or the girl get it? And they got it from a rat on the boat? no they got it from bird watching in argentina i've said it once i'll say it again yeah stop

15:52Khalyla Kuhn:watching birds stop watching them they don't need to be watched yeah yeah they need to be perceived you have to perceive them perceive a bird is fine because if a hawk's going to come and attack your eyes have good perception and i don't have the eyes to even witness the hawk until you get the glasses right until i get the glasses right so don't poke up my eyes hawk correct right so my point is is that um they were out you know you know these there's different kinds of cruises

16:15Bobby Lee:I just had an image of you between the time when you leave and you're getting your glasses and you don't have them yet. Hawks just smashing you in the eyes. I know. I need glasses! Yeah.

16:26Khalyla Kuhn:The different kinds of cruises. Yeah. So this kind of cruise, like I did a cruise with the Adam Devine folk. Right. Right. That's, Max go back. Ah. Right. But there's some cruises, adventurism cruises, white cruises. White people cruises. Yeah. Yeah. White people cruises. It's like, I need to go to the top of that mountain. Right. You know what I mean? I need to see the top of that Mayan temple. I must get to Kilimanjaro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the explorers. I'll go deeper into the cave. You know the ones that go in the crevices? Why are you in there? What are you doing in there? What's in there?

16:56Khalyla Kuhn:Nothing's in there. There's nothing. And they get stuck. They're like, I can't move. I go, because black people don't do that. They don't even go. We don't go to caves like that.

17:05Bobby Lee:You've never heard a black guy get stuck spelunking in a cave?

17:08Khalyla Kuhn:No, no. There are like fucking caves in Asia, Vietnam and whatnot, that white people discovered before the Asians did.

17:16Bobby Lee:Yeah, we didn't know it was there.

17:17Khalyla Kuhn:I'm sure the Vietnamese knew that it was there. They're like, we're not going near it. No way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. White people love spelunking. They love spelunking. So this is white people's fault. This is. Yeah, so they went on an adventure. They caught it. You know what I mean? They brought it back on the cruise. And I think it's, but the scary part is somebody that was flying to South Africa, right, who died. brought it brought it to south but died but the stewardess is that what you call them now no a flight attendant a flight attendant got it oh no you know i mean so that's a little weird well

17:54Bobby Lee:because airplanes are the one that's the one where i'm like you're in a contained space and they're like the hepa filters are really good you're like not when the guy next to me is going because i've sat next to that guy many flights oh dude i have a rule and i have a message to

18:09Khalyla Kuhn:everyone listening if you're super have a cold and you're super sick don't get on a plane and

18:16Bobby Lee:don't go and don't go to work don't get on no you don't need to go if i say food industry i've had waiters you know i mean super sick like here's your fries you're fine super sick it's

18:28Khalyla Kuhn:like what are you doing at work dude take a day down yeah not i understand the economy people need

18:33Bobby Lee:to work they need to work i understand that you know what before that i'm gonna i'm gonna be the opposite i'm devil's advocate i think everyone should go to work as sick as they possibly are you fucking asshole you know who does it every day who fancy that's right has never not come

18:46Khalyla Kuhn:to work i don't take a day off you're sick now but we go on the road we get it from him and then all of a sudden we're in denver saturday night all sick yeah and we're all sick and it's your

18:55Bobby Lee:fucking fault you've gotten everyone in this room sick yeah multiple times asshole dude you're a

19:00Khalyla Kuhn:carrier i edited this show with like 110 fever okay you'd be but i bet you money if i get the hantavirus hantavirus you gave it to me you did it's got a 30 to 40 percent mortality rate and there's a 21 to 40 day incubation period so you don't even know but here's the good news you don't know for a month no here's the good news you want to hear the good news please even if you have it and I have it but it's not like it's incubating you're not going to catch it for me until I have symptoms so it's like if I have hanta I don't know how you call it what does it prefer to be called? you Spanish fuck hanta

19:51Bobby Lee:sounds like a good car company out of Japan hanta

19:54Khalyla Kuhn:hanta virus hanta

19:57Bobby Lee:drives the all new hanta

20:00Khalyla Kuhn:so if i had it and i was showing symptoms and i sneezed in front of you then then yeah but bring

20:07Bobby Lee:that back up though that says the rattiest cities i didn't say that no but look most rat infested cities are la chicago paris new york london and de chinooka india known for its carimanta temple famously home to thousands of rats considered holy oh holy rats don't get it though yeah so Did I get the facts correct about the hantavirus? Yeah, you did. And can I say this? This is a temple dedicated to rats.

20:32Khalyla Kuhn:That's crazy.

20:33Bobby Lee:Wow. Just don't go there, white people. Yeah, don't go. Well, it's in India.

20:36Khalyla Kuhn:I know, but they do the cruise. We got to go to that temple. Got to go. Yeah, but not you. I would never. No, no, no. You're more. I'm a landlocked guy. No, you're more ethnic when it comes to decision making. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, you're not going to bungee jump. Nope. Have you bungee jumped? Never. I would skydive or never. Never.

20:55Bobby Lee:I'm way more ethnic when it comes to white. Yeah. Mountain biking.

20:59Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah. Mountain bike. Why am I on a bicycle on a mountain? No, a flat land. Flat. Yeah. Bike on flat. Yeah. Me bike on flat. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. I do VR biking. Shopify. Hey y 'all. We have an online business here at Bad Friends and our other podcast and we use Shopify because we only use the best. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10 % of all e-commerce in the U.S. from household names like Allbirds.

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25:03Khalyla Kuhn:My point though being is I don't think the Hantavirus is that scary yet, but here's the thing that we need to be careful of all viruses they want to survive they're looking for a host right and in order to survive they mutate oh fuck right and covid has mutated many times

25:25Bobby Lee:thousands and thousands of times this thing's as a better mutator yeah i don't know we don't

25:30Khalyla Kuhn:know yet that's why you know who is getting up front you know i mean the world health organization WHO

25:36Bobby Lee:yeah they're getting up front on the messaging by the way this does say kidney failure can happen within 4 to 10 days after symptoms you can just lose your kidney

25:43Khalyla Kuhn:yeah it's bad this one is bad and you know what's gonna happen is people are gonna die no because of if this becomes like COVID what's gonna happen is they tricked us last time yeah they're not gonna do it again yeah they're not gonna do it again I'm going to the fucking country music festival I'm gonna go right not that it could be Coachella come get you yeah I don't wanna be regional come get a rat get a rat on a stick yeah yeah and then all of a sudden it's like the mortality rates worse and it's gonna get bad i think we're good knock on knock i think we're good i think we're good because i mean we're gonna go into a recession god bless yeah and and the economy is fucked let's go no we gotta go into recession why because they have to go down to go back up that's the only

26:27Bobby Lee:way it works if we don't do a recession it's even then we go into depression We must recede before we proceed.

26:33Khalyla Kuhn:Oh, like a wave.

26:34Bobby Lee:We must hit the wave.

26:35Khalyla Kuhn:Oh, I see.

26:35Bobby Lee:As of May, the US economy is not in a current recession, faces significant material headwinds and mixed signals. Some analysts foresee a 50 % probability of downturn due to high interest rates.

26:46Khalyla Kuhn:But there's an AI bubble that could pop. You know what I mean? And if that happens, you know what I mean? Then, you know.

26:54Bobby Lee:I don't want to.

26:55Khalyla Kuhn:What? It just scares me.

26:57Bobby Lee:It's like - Who knows what's happening? Who knows what's happening? Are you feeling better? He said he was feeling better earlier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The head feels good. It looks good. Thank you. Your head feels good? Yeah, it just hurts in the back a little bit.

27:06Khalyla Kuhn:You know, I can't see it. It's got, I mean, from afar, when I look closer, I see the redness.

27:12Bobby Lee:Yeah. From afar, it looks normal. Yeah. Yeah, man. Dude, how funny if he turns into like a male model when this is over. Oh, that'd be awesome. If we shift him into modeling now. He is handsome. He is. The kid's handsome. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

27:23Khalyla Kuhn:You do stink.

27:25Bobby Lee:Because I'm always busy and work.

27:27Khalyla Kuhn:No, I know. Can I just say something about you're handsome and you have a cool vibe? Thanks, bro. You know what I mean? Set up, set up, set up. Oh, yeah. Here it is. Anything before the butt doesn't count. The butt's my favorite.

27:38Bobby Lee:Why can I be honest? No, we would like it. Be honest.

27:42Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, you smell always good. Ditto, by the way.

27:46Bobby Lee:I smell...

27:48Khalyla Kuhn:I know.

27:48Bobby Lee:I smelled a girl last night at the fucking restaurant and I was like, God, what is that? That smells incredible. She sat next to us. and my wife was like, that's Bobby's cologne.

28:00Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah.

28:00Bobby Lee:I smelled you on someone else.

28:02Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah.

28:03Bobby Lee:And it made me get, I ran up to her, I did an Asian accent to her. I missed you so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you wear a lot of unisex. You wear a lot of unisex. Some sweet, you know what I mean? Woody sweet, you know what I mean? But I go - She had your cologne on it or your parfum.

28:17Khalyla Kuhn:My parfum, yeah.

28:17Bobby Lee:Why do you think, so you think he smells? At times your breath, you know what I mean?

28:24Khalyla Kuhn:What is it? What does he use?

28:26Bobby Lee:Yeah Malin and goats rum? Yeah Yeah Don't put goat in the title It's too goatish More malin Yeah, yeah More malin, yeah

28:34Khalyla Kuhn:The founders are gay

28:36Bobby Lee:Less goat, more malin

28:37Khalyla Kuhn:Less goat, yeah In fact, how about just only malin?

28:42Bobby Lee:For a smell good set to have goat in it is crazy It is crazy, dude Is there a little bit of sheep in there too? I mean I'm using Marcus and farts right now

28:53Bobby Lee:More Marcus.

28:54Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

28:55Bobby Lee:More Marcus. Wait, wait. Is that your, that's your. That's your go-to? That's your scent? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that?

28:59Khalyla Kuhn:What is that? Tom Ford. Tom Ford, yeah. Do you use it?

29:04Bobby Lee:Yes.

29:04Khalyla Kuhn:Okay, all right. Use.

29:06Bobby Lee:I come to work, I'm so stressed that I'm sweating. This is what you need to do. You do need to chill on the stress thing. Yeah, this is what I do. I can't take meds before I come here. Why? You see me raw. Andrew will know if I'm high. I will 100 % know. Well, you have tricked me a few times. No, I just always forget to tell you the truth.

29:23Khalyla Kuhn:Okay. So this is what you do, okay? This is what I do. Yeah. Spray on the wrist. Always. Rub. And do a rub. Must. Right? I lift up my shirt. Right underneath. One spray underneath.

29:36Bobby Lee:Now do you do skin or do you do shirt?

29:38Khalyla Kuhn:It's... I spray upwards and it gets both.

29:42Bobby Lee:It gets all the way up.

29:42Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, it gets all the way up. I record myself doing it to prove it. Okay. And then this is another one I do. Sure. And this is a little gross. But I lift the sack and it hit the taint.

29:52Bobby Lee:How's that gross? exactly where it's supposed to go.

29:54Khalyla Kuhn:That's where exactly where it's supposed to go. Right?

29:56Bobby Lee:Because if, you know what I mean?

29:57Khalyla Kuhn:They don't want, you don't want them to taste it. No. But you want them to smell it. Yeah, behind it. Right, right? They want the aura. The aura. Yeah, and then, wait, I've got to. One on the neck. One on the neck.

30:12Bobby Lee:That was zesty, that last one.

30:14Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, yeah. And that's it. That's it. What do you do?

30:17Bobby Lee:I do this.

30:19Khalyla Kuhn:Two sprays. And that's it. No, no. but that's what i because i don't carlos you now yeah yeah i don't want to smell too crazy maybe i should spray some in your mouth too because that thing what are you a dragon like what temple are you trying to burn down it's i use the natural one i mean it's so smelly it's the natural one from air one and i don't yeah yeah yeah do more whatever i don't i'll give

30:42Bobby Lee:you the money what do you think please eat food yeah you're not eating macon has commented multiple Sometimes you'll skip an entire day of meals. It smells like a vegetarian. I skipped sitting. Don't do that.

30:53Khalyla Kuhn:There's another thing he does on the road.

30:55Bobby Lee:I didn't eat.

30:56Khalyla Kuhn:We haven't eaten all day. I'll have four lettuces, one crouton, and half a shrimp. It's like, order a steak. Have a meal.

31:04Bobby Lee:But you said I'm handsome earlier. It's like, that's why. That has nothing to do with the food. You need to eat for nutrition. It's fucking up your breath. Yeah, it is. Your body's going to kill you. Yeah, but you can just have smoothies. No, you can't just eat smoothies. You can't just eat smoothies.

31:18Khalyla Kuhn:I've been eating avocado toast and smoothies for a whole year and nothing else. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. And nuggets. You look like shit. Give me the guy.

31:28Bobby Lee:Yeah, and then McDonald's. Yeah. Give me the guy that does the cologne tutorials. He does like on YouTube. He sprays like he says like a hundred sprays. That's what he does. Yeah, that's good. He does a hundred sprays. I'd rather have that than whatever he has, this dragon. This guy. Here's cologne the right way. Let's see how cologne. Let's see how it's applied the correct way. How to put on cologne. Because I don't, I mean, I guess I don't know how. All right, here we go. Because this guy will teach us. I already told you. The best time to apply your cologne. All right, push pause. Push pause.

32:00Bobby Lee:First of all.

32:00Khalyla Kuhn:I don't believe it.

32:04Khalyla Kuhn:Already turned the video off.

32:07Bobby Lee:It's too much AI. That's why it's AI.

32:09Khalyla Kuhn:Because I'll turn that off for a second. I'll take number two. No, I don't believe it. Okay. That was sports. yesterday morning Mookie Betts and Cam they both smelled unreal when you smell Mookie Betts

32:26Bobby Lee:that's not it dude

32:28Khalyla Kuhn:they just intuitively know where to spray, what to spray how to spray they intuitively know to put some sort of mint in the mouth not to offend the human beings around them I brought that to - Right, so what I'm saying, I'm not done talking. Well, I'm just saying for bigger - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, you know, so that they're not intrusive. Right. You know what I mean? Like, I don't want an eyebrow burned off, right? Because you're telling me something. You know what I mean? Do you understand what I'm saying? Like, I want, I don't want to get tan. I don't want to get an instant tan when you're talking to me.

33:08Khalyla Kuhn:You're on one, dude. You're not on one at all. You're on one at all. You're on your fucking brow. Thanks, dude. You need to take your fucking terrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you need to take your fake pills. No, no, no. You're on one. Every time I'm with you, I go home. I look Filipino. Because your brother's so like a dragon.

33:27Bobby Lee:He's had time with you. He talked to you the other day, and then he turned to me, and he got breath burned. His whole face has breath burned.

33:33Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

33:34Bobby Lee:Dude, I'm not eating.

33:35Khalyla Kuhn:Look at the fucking kind of vape he's on. I'm vaping. I'm not eating. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's terrible. What's in there?

33:40Bobby Lee:Rats? What's in there?

33:42Khalyla Kuhn:Tobacco. Oh. God, I'm sorry. I love you. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry the price. I pay it's the price you pay But please we're going on the road Thursday morning. Yeah, right If I'm not gonna eat if you need Listerine packets, that's what I brought Or mints or gum or whatever you want. I'll give you thousands of dollars Cuz that's what's gonna what it's gonna take is I used to not right off It doesn't matter and also on top of it do the cologne routine and that we won't have a fucking problem I've got a homeless man as my tour manager I'll record it I'll record myself What the fuck is going on Alright calm down You're on one dude All the stage hands are like Is he homeless?

34:18Khalyla Kuhn:Like no he's not homeless He's a real He lives in a house I'm sorry No That's been pinned up for years Yeah It is how do you say that No it's not You say it all the time How do you say that How do you say that to somebody You know what I mean You just did No that when you're You know what I mean Cause you haven't I've never seen you publicly Acknowledge his breath What do you in your mind think I write about it I have a blog I write about it you do morning pages the artist way

34:48Bobby Lee:I have a sub stack on it you guys gotta read it

34:50Khalyla Kuhn:yeah yeah you gotta read it

34:51Bobby Lee:go to morningbreath.com slash Andrew Santino

35:00Bobby Lee:alright well any retorts then for Bob then do you have a retort or do you have any no Bobby usually smells good and he's a good boss and respect is at a maximum Oh, smart dude. He's about to get some checks on the road. Yeah, very smart. Excited about that. You're really good. Sold out San Antonio, it's great. Of course.

35:17Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, Houston's getting there and also Dallas is there already. Doing well. Toronto. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

35:22Bobby Lee:Beach out from Texas, you're going to rip up Texas to shreds.

35:24Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, so what I'm saying is that you're also being, last thing I want to say. Oh yeah. No, anything you need. Yeah, last thing I want to say. Because I feel like people think that I complain or I'm being vicious. You know what I mean? I think you're overcompensating let me say that again you're overcompensating overcompensating overcompensating for what? because last time I said you're not a good tour manager right? but now you're being extra good where it's kind of annoying oh you're going too far yeah today no no no this is so normal Andrew would understand what happened? so we fly out Thursday yeah right to San Antonio in the morning right?

36:04Khalyla Kuhn:we land at 3 right right he's already today going what kind of beef do you want?

36:11Bobby Lee:What is that?

36:12Khalyla Kuhn:What do you mean? I have to pre-order meat for our barbecue place.

36:16Bobby Lee:So they don't run out.

36:18Khalyla Kuhn:So they don't run out.

36:19Bobby Lee:They're going to run out of meat by 3 so when we go at 7.30 they'll hold. Did they tell you that?

36:25Khalyla Kuhn:They run out of meat. We're at a barbecue fucking place. Excuse me, we'll order the corn and I guess the cornbread. There's nothing good left I mean what? How are they doing business? Because they're like a Michelin star place That's normal That's fucking normal You're just calling the barbecue business dumb out of nowhere It's a fucking barbecue place Yeah and they're all millionaires God you're so You're overcompensating this Yeah Let's be real For once in your life Go in the middle Maybe he's overcompensated Wow he's got me riled up dude

37:05Bobby Lee:How about we do a hygiene bump then Financially give him a hygiene bump Okay I'm willing to do this okay

37:11Khalyla Kuhn:We'll put aside a little bit of money for hygiene I'm willing to do this okay Thanks for the hair I can't even fucking hair dog

37:18Bobby Lee:That's not it that's not what smells Oh yeah it will

37:24Khalyla Kuhn:You think that's hair from the back of his head No dude he's not gonna fucking sacrifice the back of his head. That's fucking asshole hair, dude. That's pube hair, dude. I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? Imagine that hair. He's going to have dreadlocks. He's going to have dingleberries up at the front. Yeah, yeah. It's going to look bad, dude.

37:46Bobby Lee:It's going to look so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not only are you going to look good, I'm afraid we're going to lose you. To modeling? I just think you're going to get a full head of hair. I think he's going to get a full head of hair in a year, and he's going to think he's better than us. Do you not think that's going to happen, Fancy? I think he's going to be up his own ass. McCone's saying, yes. I think you're going to be Mr. Hotshot. And Mr. Hotshot's going to go, I'm late. I don't want to come to the shoot anymore. I'm doing my own thing. I'm 90 minutes early every time. I'm a killer. I know, but you don't have any hair yet.

38:14Bobby Lee:When the hair comes in, it might change your perspective. Okay.

38:16Khalyla Kuhn:That's interesting.

38:17Bobby Lee:He's two inches taller than me. One, one, one, one. Maybe one. It's one. It's one.

38:22Khalyla Kuhn:Two inches taller than me, right? With the hair might be even. Right. Right. He has Hunter body. yeah yeah yeah yeah um the face is pretty good face is very good right the eyes even with eyes nice car nose mouth are very good right the women like the eyes in the face right right you're right but also women don't like medieval shit they don't like no no no no no they don't they don't like yeah you know what i mean they don't like you know fire coming out of they don't like is that an ogre and with their senses you know their smells right i mean they don't like medieval shit right they like yeah right right yeah am i under a bridge like what is going on like a troll you know what i mean right so what i'm saying to you is is that it i think it'll you know i mean ah even off even out even out as an average guy got it i see yeah yeah yeah go ahead no i have nothing at me i'm not trying to go at you come at me guy bobby I'm Oh wow Oh Oh Bobby Oh Dude dude He's fucking gonna piss me off Dude this guy You're beginning to fucking piss me off right now We're all red bits I love you I love you Yeah first of all I love you Yeah Alright so I wanna say this It's not roasting That's not That's honesting It's telling it how it is Right Structurally It's not a roast joke It's not as clever as a roast joke That's true Ooh Yeah, and I'm the one that said it.

39:52Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah. So I admit it. Okay. Right? Still got laughs.

39:56Bobby Lee:Yeah, same with the roast the other night on Netflix.

39:58Khalyla Kuhn:Right, so my point is that it's not a roast joke because I'm just being honest. Yeah. Ogre. Troll. Dragon's Breath. No, look at me right now, dude. I can't. No, I swear to God on my mother's life that those three things are true. All right, so what my point is. Bob, if you said one thing. As soon as I'm talking, I'm the host of the show. No, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah? Yeah. Okay, so anyway, let me finish what I was saying, okay? Well, no. Listen to what I have to say. Oh my God. Yeah, how is that roasting when I'm just being honest?

40:34Bobby Lee:It was not a roast. I didn't see a roast come out of that. Exactly. It was you divulging your real feeling.

40:38Khalyla Kuhn:What are the three things I said mythologically? Under a bridge, troll. Yes. Dragon's breast. Yes. And? Ogre. Yes, exactly. Now, will you defy any of those three things? there is no defiance there's no defiance no they're truisms correct truth truths truth truth you're a truther i'm a truther correct right always so case closed case close yeah thank you

40:59Bobby Lee:that's not how like court works you can't just it is if you it is if you own the court it does

41:03Khalyla Kuhn:work yeah do you believe he just said i'm the executive producer did you hear that is that

41:08Bobby Lee:what you said to bobby yeah i've never even said executive are you an executive producer I mean yeah I guess

41:14Khalyla Kuhn:Let me ask you as a Let me ask you Yeah As a I'm non-partisan right No no you're not partisan You're my best friend And we do this together So I'm partisan We're on the poster Yeah I'm very partisan Yeah yeah We're the band We're the band We're the band okay I'm on the tour post Alright so This guy dude You make the poster I take pictures Yeah yeah yeah So let me ask you As my business partner Yeah And as the stars of the show Correct Okay is he executive producer?

41:49Bobby Lee:Slash booker.

41:50Khalyla Kuhn:Let me think. Yeah, think about it.

41:52Bobby Lee:Hmm. Wait, Andrew, I can just be producer. Oh, so you don't even want the title. I was going to give it to you, but I guess no. So just producer then? Yeah. Associate. AP? Not associate. No, no, no. Well, what's McCone then? He's assistant. He's exactly what Carlos is.

42:08Khalyla Kuhn:Oh, Carlos. No way. Blue Chew. You guys, I'm 54 years old. I'm about to turn 55. Congratulations. Yeah, I'm about to die. But my point is I'm still sexually active. And what I do is I have a girlfriend now as well. Yes, you do. Yeah, and still I use Bluetooth. I'll tell you why. It's easy. It's easy. Because as you get older, you have ED. You do. Erectile dysfunction is what they call it.

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42:51Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, that's right. It's time for less talking and more rocking, less hanging, more banging, less thinking, more dinking. Seriously, who wrote this? It's simple. Chew it and do it.

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43:23Khalyla Kuhn:That's promo code BADFRIENDS. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. Kachava! You know what, Andrew? I'd rather have kachava than any other meal. Ever. If I had a choice, like if I was on an island, they're like, you get one meal. I'll go, you know what? I'll do every flavor of cachava.

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44:50Khalyla Kuhn:code BADFRIENDS.

44:52Bobby Lee:Find the vacation you're looking for in Missouri. Whether you're searching for this, wanting something like this. Oh, that's cute. Maybe up for something like this. or just really, really need something more like this. You'll find the vacation you want in Missouri. Missouri, it's the getaway that gets... You. Plan your fun at visitmo.com. No, you're trying to break me, and it just won't work because you've been trying for 20 years.

45:27Khalyla Kuhn:I feel like he sounds like a broken man. Look at me right now. Such projection. Don't talk please, because the hosts are talking at all. Look at me right now.

45:37Bobby Lee:Yeah. Does that sound like a broken little bit?

45:40Khalyla Kuhn:No.

45:44Bobby Lee:I want more love.

45:45Khalyla Kuhn:I do love him. He's my tour manager. I will not fire him. He will be my tour manager to the end of my tour.

45:51Bobby Lee:What started this, do you think?

45:52Khalyla Kuhn:How did this kick off?

45:54Bobby Lee:There was an energy transfer that happened.

45:56Khalyla Kuhn:I came in today because my hands were cramping. Yeah. Right? My hands were cramping and they're still cramping. Okay. I had a miracle, but the eye thing. But then that lady said, you know what I mean? Not Asian. That was rude. And so I was in this kind of mixed move. Also when I was driving here, I was going, I have nothing to talk about.

46:13Bobby Lee:Oh, it's the barbecue. He's mad that I asked him to pre-order barbecue. Yeah. Yeah. I do feel like the pre-order ask was what started this whole role. Yeah. And I'm just order for him. That's what I'll end up doing. Okay. I want you to be comfortable. Being on tour with like Nirvana would be easier. like it was so much calmer in the early 90s with them i bet it's crazier like michael michael jackson and his monkey or something like it's insane so you're saying he's a hard guy to work with i think there are levels of difficulty and he's on one of the higher ones really yeah you have to really like crazy wow yeah now the heart and the hardest part about let's let's go Oh, he's like, oh, I'm a man of the people.

46:56Bobby Lee:That makes me easy.

46:58Khalyla Kuhn:If you want to get real, let's get real. We haven't been real this whole time. Oh, no, because I was kidding about that. You don't smoke an ogre. Such gaslighting. You're a fucking gaslighter. I did that for comedy reasons. It's a comedy podcast. Yeah, ogres do not smell like shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dragons don't exist. Dragons don't exist. These are actually all mythological creatures. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, cherubs. It's all fake. Mermaids, all fake. None of it's real. Such a gaslighter. Yeah, that's not gaslighting. That's a truism. There is no dragons. There is no dragons. There is no...

47:28Bobby Lee:There is no... Yeah, there is no... Is the truth. That's the truth of the truth. Right.

47:31Khalyla Kuhn:So take it back. There are trolls. There are some mythological evidence. Yeah, give or take. Give or take. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, I was in jest saying these things. For comedy purposes, at one point or another, you took it personally. There was a personal take. Right. I called you those names. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you snapped.

47:50Bobby Lee:You got angry. If I snapped, Andrew would legit be like, get the fuck out of here. No, no, no, I would let you have your piece. If you want to say your piece, you can say your piece. Yes. That's how you lose your job. No, no, no, you can't lose your job.

48:01Khalyla Kuhn:I was just doing it in jest. Of course you don't re-brother. Not a dragon. I can't even say it. And all that stuff, right? I was just giving light hints of maybe, you know what I mean, suggestions. Small stuff. Yeah, small stuff. And you took it personally.

48:16Bobby Lee:I wish that as my friend, you would just tell me the truth and that you were trying to break it. Would you rather him tell you the truth not on the air? No, on the air. You want it on the air. You want it on the air. Because you want it if you want it.

48:26Khalyla Kuhn:Okay, I will tell you the truth on the air then, right? You have dragon's breath. All right, you smell like an ogre and a troll. Yeah, and all the things I can't like fight you back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can fight back. You can fight back. Nah. So let me ask you, I'm difficult on the road. I'm like Michael Jackson in the bubbles or whatever. He said you were like bubbles the monkey. So what's my rider?

48:51Bobby Lee:Smart water.

48:52Khalyla Kuhn:No, no, it's not smart water.

48:54Bobby Lee:Sugar-free Red Bull.

48:55Khalyla Kuhn:I have two things on my rider. Okay.

48:59Bobby Lee:All right, tell me what they are.

49:00Khalyla Kuhn:Water.

49:01Bobby Lee:Yeah.

49:01Khalyla Kuhn:And sugar-free Red Bull.

49:02Bobby Lee:I just said smart water and sugar.

49:04Khalyla Kuhn:Those are the only two.

49:05Bobby Lee:Yeah.

49:05Khalyla Kuhn:What is Michael Jackson's rider? Oh, it's like all the green. Nine-year-old boy. Yeah, I mean, no, don't say that. No, but I'm just saying. Okay, that is on his rider. I mean, but what's, you know what I mean? You too's rider.

49:16Bobby Lee:It's not about the rider.

49:17Khalyla Kuhn:Yes, it is. It's about what the tour manager has to do to make the artist happy. Mine's basic. I want to stool on stage. Yep. Right. I want a meal. Yeah. Right. I want to pay my openers. And I also want Red Bull and water. That's it. That's it. I don't want to stir anything. All right. War. War. It sounds like it's coming. He actually said that Bobby is so cool on the road that, you know, he thinks Andrew's really, really difficult. And you know that. You've said that to me before. No, y 'all are very different. You've said that to me before. I never... Yes, you have. I would literally... Yes, you have.

49:56Khalyla Kuhn:No, I would literally never say that because you're such a fucking rat. You're such a rat that I would never say that. You're saying this now because you know the fucking fire. That's why I would never say it because you're such a rat. You think I'm the rat? He's the rat. I would never call Andrew different. All right. Hey, hey. I would never call him.

50:14Bobby Lee:Hey.

50:15Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Andrew. Andrew. Look at me right now. No, no, no. Be quiet. Quiet. I call it for him. Alright, listen to me right now, okay? You have to be more on top of things. Uh, yeah, I'm, we're good. No, I'm not worried about you and me.

50:28Bobby Lee:I'm worried about me and Andrew. I know, I understand. It's good. It's real good. No, it's not good. Yeah, it's good. He's also my voice.

50:34Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, it's good. You know what I mean? It's good. Let me look at my friend here. Yeah. Hello. Hi, ma 'am. Yeah, I'll take it personally. Hit me. Okay.

50:46Khalyla Kuhn:okay let's play play fair fair play fair what andreas said what did he say that i'm more

50:55Bobby Lee:difficult on the road than you okay did i say that you did not no little facts are facts fancy said that he said that carlos said that yeah behind my back i've never yeah yeah so So, so. Listen here, dragon boy.

51:11Khalyla Kuhn:I have never thought you this whole ever. So it's very interesting to me. You know what I mean? I'm getting the heat because I'm the easier target than he is. Welcome to my life. It's like we're mirror images. I know. So what I'm saying is that he's scarier than I am. Oh yeah.

51:28Bobby Lee:So you have to stay on top of it with him.

51:30Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah. Okay. So you treat me shittier. You do because you're afraid of him.

51:36Bobby Lee:This is.

51:37Khalyla Kuhn:Let's be real. Let's be real for once.

51:39Bobby Lee:That's not true. I'm not frustrated with Andrew in the slightest, and it's not redirected to you. That's insane. I like working with Andrew. Not anymore.

51:52Bobby Lee:Hey, brother. We're going to be needing to look for a new tour manager, as the one I have right now is a dragon breath troll ghoul. Please.

52:04Khalyla Kuhn:I'm calling mine live. Matt?

52:06Bobby Lee:No Abby I'm kidding I didn't text I'm doing it for real I would never do that

52:12Khalyla Kuhn:Carlos is obviously weird Hello

52:21Khalyla Kuhn:Hi it's Bob Bob One of your clients Bob Lee What's up I just want to let you know You're on Bad Friends right now I am Yeah, but you're not going to say anything bad. I'm just going to let you. I'm going to say I'll do all the talking and then I'm going to hang out. Do they hear me this part? Yeah, they're hearing you talk, yes. But you don't have to talk anymore. Does she know what a podcast is? Yeah. Okay. All right. All right. So here's our right. My tour manager has dragon's breath. Don't say anything. All right. Smells like a troll and an ogre, right? if I looked at my writer none of the shit that's in my dressing room is in like the fruit plate not true Abby it's not true and I want to let you know this tour is fine but the next tour I do he's out okay I love him thank you okay bye there's always she's fired

53:25Bobby Lee:I will say this the fact that you went behind my back

53:29Khalyla Kuhn:and told Fancy

53:31Bobby Lee:and McCone. Did he tell you? And me! Did he tell you, McCone? McCone didn't hear this.

53:36Khalyla Kuhn:No, McCone.

53:38Bobby Lee:McCone. Come closer to the mic. McCone, have you ever tour managed?

53:42Khalyla Kuhn:No, but I've seen a lot of... Well, you're about to. McCone, you've told me this before, okay? And I want you to be on the record, right? Who's scarier, Andrew or I? Andrew. Okay, good. That's good. That's the way I look. All right, but you have said that before.

53:58Bobby Lee:But fear doesn't make me talk shit about him. Or does it? Or does it? No, I'm so much smarter than - I don't tell you anything, Bob, because you would tell everyone my business.

54:10Khalyla Kuhn:Oh, I'm a gossiper. Interesting. I'm a gossiper. I'm a witch.

54:14Bobby Lee:Yeah, you are. Salem's witch trial, huh?

54:17Khalyla Kuhn:Wow.

54:17Bobby Lee:Wow. You know what's unfortunate, Carlos? I will be honest with you right now. We love you. No, not yet. Okay. I thought, man, I make it real easy on Carlos. I don't ask for much, but the simple things. You don't. I just want water and popcorn backstage before I go on. And you always have it. It's crazy. And I just think I don't ever call you and bug you and say, give me this, give me that. I need this, I need that. Yeah. And

54:45Khalyla Kuhn:for you to go behind my back

54:47Bobby Lee:and tell Fancy I'm difficult to deal with on the road breaks my heart and quite frankly, praise the Lord. I think that's it for us on the road. This is sad that we're going to end over lies. Who's lying? Fancy's lying? I think Fancy's having a hallucination from one of his many colds. Are you lying? Yeah. It's a fever dream. I'm lying. No, you're lying about lying now. So now there's layers of lies. So now I can't believe anybody in the booth. Yeah. So now we have a booth filled with liars. They've always have been liars. Who's to believe now? No one.

55:19Khalyla Kuhn:No, you're in it. No one to believe.

55:20Bobby Lee:So you are the only person I can believe. No. No, don't believe me either.

55:24Khalyla Kuhn:Okay, well. Yeah, yeah, this is Game of Thrones.

55:26Bobby Lee:Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And whom is the dragon?

55:29Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, yeah, yeah, right there. I'm Khaleesi.

55:32Bobby Lee:You know, for the record, I defended you. I don't think you have bad breath. And I don't think you smell bad. Thank you, brother.

55:36Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, I don't either. It was just a joke.

55:40Bobby Lee:Lies. The room full of lies. Yeah, yeah. I'm a liar as well. Gosh, how did we get away from that? I don't know. Well, let me tell you something, though. In all honesty, all jokes aside. All jokes aside. I love you dearly, Carlos. I do too. But I will not be touring with you in the future.

55:54Khalyla Kuhn:He got a good beating today. I took it like a...

55:58Bobby Lee:You know what the worst part of all this is? What is it? This is like an ex that we have a kid with. We still have to see these people.

56:06Khalyla Kuhn:What do you mean? You and I had a baby.

56:09Bobby Lee:Yes, the show is our baby. Yeah, and that's our child. No, no, no, that's our ex. These people are the people we slept with. Oh, these are our ex.

56:16Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

56:17Bobby Lee:And now we have to see them because to create, to keep the baby happy, we have to see our exes.

56:22Khalyla Kuhn:Right. And they're all -

56:23Bobby Lee:That's exactly what it is. And they're all of our exes.

56:25Khalyla Kuhn:I do that on Tiger Belly.

56:35Bobby Lee:a grand slam yeah a literal grand slam yeah and that's what it is over here yeah

56:41Khalyla Kuhn:i'm disappointed i'm disappointed too if you the way you framed it yeah makes me disappointed but i guess you know i guess that's the way it is the panic remember what did i say before i went in hot right and what did i say when i walked through the store you have nothing to talk exactly but you know what that really means I got something to say I have to see my axe yeah yeah toxic behavior yeah I have to see my axe and I have to pretend everything's you know cool you know I mean yeah so it's like be cooler be cooler that's good advice yeah it's good advice right thank you man yeah facetious when you walk out of the door right don't go just to Andrew Tell me some business.

57:23Khalyla Kuhn:Okay.

57:24Bobby Lee:Lie to me.

57:25Khalyla Kuhn:I just want to say this, okay? Yeah. And this is the truth of the matter.

57:29Bobby Lee:You're a great boss, man. I love you.

57:30Khalyla Kuhn:Okay. Okay. This is the truth of the matter, okay? I'm telling you. I'm going to be honest. Didn't tell me I'm a good boss. Tell Andrew. He didn't say that. Thank you.

57:38Bobby Lee:He loves you.

57:39Khalyla Kuhn:Thank you.

57:41Bobby Lee:Fancy?

57:42Khalyla Kuhn:He didn't say that.

57:43Bobby Lee:Say you swear on your daughter's life he didn't say that.

57:49Bobby Lee:Say you swear on your daughter's life. Yes, on your daughter's life. Say it. No, no, no.

57:55Khalyla Kuhn:Don't. No, no, no. You can't. What you're saying, even if you're crossing your little toes and your fingers and you're thinking something else, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is true, right? Say on your daughter's life that he didn't say that. He didn't.

58:10Bobby Lee:On my daughter's life. Say that. Say he didn't say that on my daughter's life. He didn't say that on my daughter's life. Let's go. Okay. Okay. You get a phone call right now. Your wife is like, she's dead.

58:26Khalyla Kuhn:I can't believe you would let your daughter die. Crazy. That's so crazy. For just the show. Yeah, just for the show. Yeah. That's the key of the show. Wow. Call the hospital. Wow. Yeah, call the hospital right now. Call the hospital, yeah. I believe. Here's the deal. Thank you. Here's the deal. There's a lot of bits. We're doing a lot of bits. I was ripping on you. And here's the honest truth. even with my notoriety and some of my income right i still don't do better than you when it comes to the ladies and historically i haven't so maybe it's a little bit of my of my yeah so you still have dragon's breath

59:10Bobby Lee:yeah yeah yeah i'm doing the camera you still have that you still have all those things but still

59:15Khalyla Kuhn:historically you've always done better than me when it comes to the attraction of the opposite sex. So, but Dragon's Breath Ogre Troll. Thank you for being a bad friend.

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