In short
Bad Friends hosts return to the studio, promote their Patreon, and discuss their upcoming May 8 “Netflix is a Joke” festival ticket sales and competition with other major comedians. They also joke about a lingering “Netherworld farts” incident and pivot into a mock geopolitical discussion about closing the Strait of Hormuz, including helium and fertilizer supply chains.
Guest backgrounds
No guests are actually introduced; only the hosts appear (Tony “Bag of Donuts” and Jimmy “Small Eyes”).
Key claims
Their festival show is “undersold” (under 40%); they’re ranked 3rd/4th among Netflix is a Joke performers; Matt Rife sold out.
Notable examples
John Mulaney, Jelly Roll, Andrew Santino, Matt Rife, and other listed acts (Zach Zucker, Ronny Chang, Hasan Minhaj, etc.).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOComedy and Ticket Sales
0:45 to 1:30
The hosts discuss their upcoming Netflix festival and ticket sales.
“All you New Yorkers out there, how you doing?”
Comparing Performers
1:30 to 2:32
The hosts compare their standing to other comedians performing at the festival.
“We're going to pump it back in Brooklyn.”
Apologies and Farts
2:32 to 4:00
A humorous exchange about an embarrassing fart incident during the recording.
“I want to apologize real quick, if I may.”
Helium and Fertilizer Discussion
4:00 to 4:33
The hosts engage in a light-hearted conversation about helium and fertilizer.
“But anyway, so the chips are very important.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Oh my god, it's so weird to be back in the studio and hearing - How you doing? How you doing? Tony Bag of Donuts. You Tony Bag of Donuts? I'm Tony Bag of Donuts. I'm Jimmy Small Eyes. Tony Bag of Donuts. How you doing? I'm from Brooklyn. I know somebody - What are we doing here? I know somebody who knows somebody who make it so you don't know nobody. Yeah, you know what? You do? Whoa. Whoa. You look like my cousin, Aisha. Tony. Tony. Tony. Tony? Tony. Is that your name? My name's Tony. Your name is Tony. I'm Jimmy. How you doing? Tony. Yeah, yeah. I'm from Brooklyn. Where you from? New York. New York.
0:42How you doing? New York. All you New Yorkers out there, how you doing? And to get more comedy like this... Yeah, go to our Patreon. Please go. We're in a war! We're in a war. We're in a war. I'll say this to the fans. I want to thank all the fans that have bought tickets so far to the May 8th Netflix as a joke festival. All 12 of you. And let me say this. It's undersold. It's undersold, yeah. Let's bring it up. Let's hurt our ego. Yeah, let's hurt it. Let's hurt it real bad. I think it's under 40%. Is it under 40 % really? I think so. Yeah. Is the blue good? The blue is bad. Blue is bad. Blue is all the people that have not bought tickets.
1:24Bought the tickets. So when is this? It's in a month. Well, we'll pump it. I hope so because it's bad. Back in Brooklyn, we used to pump it. Hey, guys. Yeah. We're going to start pumping it. We're going to pump it back in Brooklyn. We used to pump it. God, look at that. That's bad. Well, we're competing against so many people. Google. Who else is performing for Netflix as a joke on May 8th? It says John Mulaney, Jelly Roll, and Andrew Saltz of the Greek. We are at the YouTube theater. Matt Reif is at the Hollywood Bowl. Stamptown Our boy Zach Zucker Ronnie Hasan Minhaj And Ronnie Chang At the Dolby Theater Yeah I mean You guys are like The 10th most famous
2:11Dude First of all We're 4th on the list We are 4th on the list So it goes Mulaney Schultz And Jelly Roll Yeah And then us We're 3rd We're 3rd You guys are 3rd Yeah yeah yeah That's what I meant No that's not what you meant No I meant What you meant is that You want to get fired That's what you meant. And by the way, we're above Matt Reif at the Hollywood Bowl, which is way bigger, and I bet he sold it out already. He already sold it out. He already sold the Hollywood Bowl. I want to apologize real quick, if I may. I also was a... Oh, what? I want to apologize to you. To me? If I may. Yeah, please.
2:40What happened? Today, I was doing what I describe as Netherworld farts. Honestly? Yeah, it was like Ball, the demon. Did you smell him, McCone? Yeah. You walked away one time. It bothered me. Like it was crazy It was one of those farts That lingered I'll tell you this right now From Brooklyn They lingered And my point is this I felt so bad And I kept apologizing I'm so sorry I'm so sorry My fear was that If the guests smell that They're gonna be really upset And you know what happened? Huh I You held it in? I closed the street of Hormuz You know what I mean? I closed it I'm charging a tool Okay?
3:24I'll tell you something then there won't be any gas coming out of there for a long time. Let me tell you right now, the Iranian regime. Closed off the Strait of Hormuz. Yeah, we control the Strait of Hormuz. And you really do control it. Yeah, we do control it. So I closed it off the Strait of Hormuz and the only thing that's getting in is a little fertilizer and some helium. Yeah, maybe a little oil. But my point is that those are the things that are being, you know what I mean? Yeah, the guys - 20, 30 % of helium comes from that area. Oh, yeah. You don't know. Hell, yeah. What do we make out of helium?
4:01Chips, computer chips. Balloons. Well, for, yeah. Balloons for birthday parties. Yeah. You got to have helium for balloons. I understand that. And for whippet tanks at jam shows. I understand that. I love whippets, dude. I know you do. It's so fun. They're fun. But anyway, so the chips are very important. and then fertilizer, like 20-30 % of the fertilizer goes through there. Well, you just start pooping outside. Start growing your own crops, pooping your own yard. Yeah, so, you know. That's how I'm going to make my potatoes. Yeah. Yeah.
From the publisher
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