New Episode Out on Patreon

0:00Oh my God. How long was I in the bathroom when we - at the restaurant. So long. 20 minutes at the restaurant. The moment I took my last bite, I was like, I had to go immediately. That was bad news bears. I should have wrote that girl and been like, not a good recommendation. My stomach, the moment I finished my eggs, I was like, hmm, I think this is bad. Are you being real? We both. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was pretty tough. And that was at that restaurant. Mine was prolonged. His was an hour later. Was yours loose or did you have to? Dude. I want to know the consistency. You ever been to Niagara Falls?

0:39Now I get it. Identical. I understand. Identical. I understand. Yeah. I do Pompeii. Yeah, yeah. Mine are Pompeii, but you do a Niagara Falls. Niagara. Yeah. Mine's an explosion. Dude, that reminds me. Let me just do one. I want to add on to the poop. Go. Yeah. More poop stuff. Yeah, yeah. So last night, I'm having dinner with my friend Gene. Hong. And Andrea Jin hangs out. Jin. Yeah. And we're sitting there. we're eating at a nice Korean barbecue, right? And she's sort of like repositioning. Shifting. She's shifting. Shit shifting. Yeah, she is like tectonic plates. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the world is doing.

1:15And by the way, it's going to break eventually. Yeah, exactly. Plates keep touching each other. Oh, there's also like icebergs detaching from, you know, there's some stuff going on here. But anyway, let's get back to... Yeah, I'm an environmentalist. I like it. I really am. You are. I mean, super al minio, the whole thing. All right. Anyway, things are shifting. But my point is this. She's shifting in her chair. And I go, you got a shit? And she's like, I do. I go, well, they have a bathroom here. And she goes, I don't do public bathrooms. Oh, I know that, yeah. And I go, you live pretty far away.

1:51She's like, I know. I just, I'm fine. I go, no, I can tell when people are shifting. You can tell a shit you're shifting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, you have eight minutes. it's gonna break away you see the doomsday clock yeah yeah and she goes you're right and she just gets up gets in her car and then when she texts me later she goes i was right on time and i knew the shifts you know i mean i i know about environmental shifts i also know about shit eight minutes eight minutes she got raced home you've been there oh my god the timing is like Like if it was a second, you know what I mean? Later, it would have been a disaster.

2:27Yes. Yeah. Chernobyl. Chernobyl. It would have been the end of the end of the end. I did that. On the way from the airport, I threw up in my front yard. I got all the way to the house, got out of my car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my dog came out. Yeah, they're confused about it. They have no idea why you throw up. When you throw up in front of a dog, they do like this. Yeah. Why do people leave Chernobyl? Yeah, they shouldn't have taken off. I'm just saying. Stick around. No!