Santino turns 43? w/ Funny Marco

26:22Can we see how you DM girls Well let me call the emperor and see if the geishas are available what the fuck are you talking about man which part he wants to see your game show him he wants to know that you have i'm on a dating app called raya can you show us like how you got a girl how it goes a thread that you're comfortable with yeah show a thread what do you mean the thread to read us what they're talking to a girl like and get her number how do you are you don't you're not on the apps yeah i on instagram usually uh i make sure that they're single by watching their stories that helps yeah i got one okay can he explain how he gets he's in we got to take this right now before we go what is it no no i can do it okay um in the end always watch their story and start a conversation never going like you want to talk to them what's your first line what's your it depends on what they post on the story that okay okay i'm i've got uh i mean um ibiza no no Ibiza with the girls.

27:18No. I'm playing dodgeball with a Samoan. I'm playing dodgeball with a Samoan, right? He's yanked back, right? And I'm going, like, don't hit me. Right. So what's that opening line? He's not interested. She's a hottie. She's a hottie, but she's playing dodgeball. She's playing dodgeball with Samoans. How old is she? She's at 10, but she's playing dodgeball with Samoans. She's 27 years old, dog. Right. Big titties, Brazilian ass, everything. Right? So she's like Born a woman right? What? She born a woman? Who cares? You'll have to find out Does it matter? You're gonna have to find out She has the right parts now Okay She got the op I'll probably pass it to you If you like No okay She's born a woman She is a woman She identifies as a woman She's just playing dodgeball With Samoans Yeah I just don't get I wouldn't be in that room Right It's an Instagram post Oh Yeah And then they post that they posted that how did the game go how'd the game that's good fuck yeah finally you said it like it was live you didn't say it was a picture all right so give it give him a scenario i'll respond yeah yeah right now i like it i think it's smart how did the game go yeah and and the girl responds um we lost can you help me i'm down what do you say down as there's a lot of double entendres happening we lost can you help me i'm down yeah i'm down what does she really what's What's the next thing you say?

28:46I don't know, I just be like, when the next time y 'all play in it? And I love to come play with you guys. No, I play with Samoans. Yeah. You hear what you're saying? Yeah, that's fine. Come play with you guys. Yeah, I actually come play, yeah. Okay. I actually used to date a Samoan. I let her know, I very understand them. Oh, you understand their technique? Yeah. Based on, because you dated one? Yeah. You know Samoan dodgeball technique? Yeah. Based on the dates that you've been on. That's insane. Okay. They family oriented, so you gotta watch out. You can't get too rough, you know? because they're together.

29:16It's a family. Does Samoan's genitals smell different? I didn't get that far. Right. My first girlfriend and I didn't take her virginity and she thought something was wrong with me but I just wasn't ready. Good for you. What's your favorite flavor then of girl? I feel like anybody that love they self. Beautiful answer. We're talking about flavors. It varies. Yeah. Yeah. Can I throw out some flavors? I didn't date it all tight. Chianti. Yeah. Chianti. Yeah. yeah like that flavor who's keante it's a flavor anyway um i sound like a black girl okay it does yeah that does um how about um hazelnut that's a white girl that's a guy that's a guy that's a guy yeah because of the nut yeah yeah how about chartreuse chartreuse sound like another guy sounds like a guy yeah let's give him um rocky road another guy okay give it a oh rose rose yeah That sounds like an older woman Okay Lavender Yes I like that Lavender vag Older woman that you can Okay She you know Lavender Cook for you and put you to bed Cook for you and put you to bed What about Rosemary How is she?

30:23Rosemary is an older lady too Yeah she's much older Yeah Would you date an older woman? Yeah What are we talking as a ceiling? If they got like some You know Something that they gonna leave behind I'd definitely stay Sarah Huckabee Sanders Bring her up please Bring her up Yeah Would you date Sarah Huckabee Sanders? Cause she did hear you were coming on the show And was interested in talking to her I don't think she'll like me. And when you say you or anybody like you. Yeah, yeah. There she is with her three children. Right? Yeah, she wouldn't like me. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, she has no black kids. Okay.

30:53Well, let's give her one. No, I just think she already got what she like. She got what she's like. And you got to respect it. Do you have any kids? Yeah, I got kids. How many kids? I got three kids. Three? Yeah. Boy, boy, girl. I got two girls, one boy. Other way. Yeah. Whoa. Beautiful. How old is the oldest one? Twelve. she's mixed so her mama is white and black and then i got uh got me a black baby and i have a mexican baby oh you have different mamas yeah not an asian yet three mamas let's get you an asian three mamas okay is your mom alive she is my love yeah what is that some sort of terminology i'm not aware of mama he said is your mother alive oh she's alive yeah yeah is she single she is single actually what would stop stop you got an instagram she doesn't have an instagram I don't like the line of She does TikTok But did your mom have an Instagram?

31:41Mine No she don't Would she like me? Why? She like people that's like You know Excuse me? She like people that Been been through shit Oh I've been through a fire He's actually been through a lot A fire Electrocuted He's been shot at You have? Electrocuted In a movie? Or like real life? No in real life dude What was that like? Yeah I've been hit by a mallet But if he was to get shot at and you know who did it, would you tell? Oh, I like this. This is street knowledge. Are you a snitch? Oh, we're doing street knowledge. I love it. Say that again. If you know who shot at you and you could tell, would you?

32:17No, homie, because I'm not a snitch. So you want to keep them out there to shoot at other people? I would snitch. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I wouldn't snitch. But guess what, dude? They'll get their day. Oh. Yeah. I'll rip their ass off. Yeah. Oh, well. I'll rip it. I'll rip it. Have you been shot at? No. Who's shooting you? You're so lovable. Why would they? No, I'll say that's what my mama likes. She likes guys they get shot at. Wow. Every man she's been with has been shot? Yes. That's a prerequisite for your mother. Yeah. What a dating app. Has she been shot? No, she haven't. Oh, good. If she keeps hanging out with guys that do it, might.

32:52No, she stay in the house though. My mama's like - Okay, I got it. I got it. She stays in the house and she likes guys that are in the streets. Where does she live? In Kansas City. KC, that's where you're from. Yeah. You don't live there now though? No, I don't. Where do you live now? It's bad. I live in Atlanta. Wait, what do you mean it's bad? In Kansas City, it's really like the crime rate is bad. It's bad. Really? Yeah. How's Atlanta though? Isn't Atlanta up and down too? It's so big like you can go so far. You can get away from it. Yeah, you can get away from it. KC, KC or KC Moe? KC Moe.

33:21Okay. I got a question for y 'all. Go ahead. What do you say like, you know, how would you compare? What would you say about y 'all's success right now? What do you feel like you haven't done yet that you want to do with both of y 'all? what haven't we done that we'd like to do i mean solo not together oh well we don't okay well we don't do much separate we're one unit you know i'll be honest with you i've done everything i've dreamt of doing i've been in movies i've been series regular on tv shows i've done stand-up on tv i've uh toured i'm about to go up in a hot air balloon for the first time yeah and I hope it doesn't crash would you go up in a hot air balloon?

34:05I would would you skydive? would you bungee jump? I don't like that I just tried the indoor skydiving and it was a lot for me you didn't like that? it didn't feel good what's going on man? he's sick we're gonna get sick could you just be honest? I'm sorry you're right you're right yeah yeah i have allergies and asians get allergies as well wait a minute white people invented allergies yeah they invented it that's our thing no no you didn't invent that no we did you invented a lot of stuff peanut butter traffic lights the doorknob invented the doorknob the doorknob yeah yeah do you know about black invention yeah yeah you know about all the black inventions because we go over them on this show pretty often yeah uh playstations no you didn't know that's it i think the japanese that's the japanese yeah that's our people okay yeah Home security system, traffic lights, elevator doors, gas masks.

35:00The modern door knob though too. Blood banks, ironing boards, hair straighteners, refrigeration, air conditioning, super soakers. Yeah. Super soaker is amazing. Lonnie Johnson invented the super soaker water gun. Those are very important. Now, would your mother date Lonnie Johnson? Because he's into guns, but they're water guns. No. She couldn't fuck with Lonnie Johnson. No. Lonnie Johnson. They say he just now got paid for that. he never got paid he just recently got paid for it oh really he just got paid for a super soaker he just recently got paid for it oh wow some white guy claimed it was his yeah they never pay him fucking white wow look at that was the men in black style yeah wow look at him so he finally got paid lonnie johnson finally look it up it says he just got paid uh after many years like him getting paid for the super soaker and because some scumbag took all the money yes 2013 super soaker inventor lonnie johnson was paid after a legal battle with hasbro which acquired the company to license the toy.

35:56$72.9 million in underpaid royalties. Wow. Now your mother would definitely date Lonnie Johnson. Yes, she'd fuck him. Yeah, she'd fuck Lonnie Johnson. She would fuck Lonnie? Yes. Yeah. Well, I have a little money. Would she fuck me? No, not Lonnie Johnson money, buddy. Okay, I know I don't have Lonnie Johnson money. No, you're not Lonnie Johnson. No Lonnie Johnson money. Okay. What do you think is the best black invention? That's a good question. We got stop signs, right? Traffic lights, I think, was that was traffic lights. Yeah, that would be good. That's huge. Home security. We were just dying before.

36:27Home security. I mean, home security is so fucked up because you just watch it happen. But you know what's happening. But it's like, you can't do shit. You can't do shit. What do you mean? If somebody's breaking your house, you just see it. But then you can do some action. Like call somebody. Now, if they made home security with lasers where you can shoot through. I see. They need that. Now we're thinking. Yeah. Lasers. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I always wondered like in the bank in the movies where they try to go through why don't we just have those in the house That's true You and I breaking into his house Breaking into his home?

37:01Yeah We could just ask to go over he'd let us in Oh you would? I'm gonna break in I'm in the living room I leave my doors unlocked I live in a nice neighborhood You do? You do You leave your doors unlocked? Yeah Seems risky to me Yeah Really? Yeah I would never leave my door unlocked I mean why? Because if they's gonna want to go in they gonna get in anyway You think if somebody wanted to break in your house they're gonna be like oh the doors is locked. We're going to turn around tomorrow. They're still going to get in. I don't want to get a new door. Dude. Let him in. He's got something there.

37:30Now, if they do get in, what do you do once they're in? You just let them have it or you protect your house? It depends if I'm there or not there. If you're there? It'd probably be like a shooting range. You keep that thing on you? I mean, not on me, but it's like... You keep that thing at the house. It's like John Wick style. I got you. is does that georgia have eminent domain you know what that is right isn't that what it's called where if somebody breaks into your house you could shoot and kill them you gotta scream and let them know i got a gun i will kill you yeah right stand your ground that's right georgia stand your ground law eliminates the the duty to retreat before using deadly force so in georgia uh no duty to retreat the individuals are not legally required to attempt to flee a threatening situation before using deadly force so someone breaks in your home you could kill them right but i don't want to i just i i'd like to yeah but it's a free pass to kill somebody yeah But it's like, no, who cares?

38:20I'm with you, dude. Because it's like, I don't want to clean my house up. Like, it's in my house. Oh, right, right. Funny, Marco, you got plenty of money to pay someone to clean that house. Yeah. How about I just go break in their house, Danny? I got that. Okay, so once they break into your house, you break into their house. So you would make an announcement, do you think? Chess, not checkers. Well, how would you say it? I'm breaking your house. I want to do an act out. Right. I've been trying to do an act out for three minutes. Trust me, we've seen, yeah. All right. Eee. Meow, meow. Those are the lasers.

38:47And I dodged it like, I'm dodging the lasers, right? There you go. Right, right. I knew about Marco has these lasers, right? Right? And then all of a sudden, okay, I'm going to steal this Mexican baby's toy. I could have a Mexican one, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Mexican baby's toy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what else? I wrote down with the Lynch, a half-white baby's toy. And then I'm going to ask, I'm going to say, who down there? It's me. Bob. It's me, Bob. And then I'm going to laugh because I'm going to be like, what the fuck is wrong? with him why would he say his name it's bob lee right from la right yeah that's when i say i got a warning shot and i fire one in the air yeah but we're bros no it's not and then when i come down since you heard the fire and it has to go off again so you always got to shoot one into the air oh so i i have one shot to go away to go away yeah but then your roof has a hole in it i know okay and then you're gonna have one too so it's it's like you know well even i'm sorry yeah excuse Excuse me.

39:45Yeah. You know it's me. But it just went past the lasers and everything. Yeah, you did go past the lasers. Oh, I did. Oh, that's right. Because of my ninja skills. Ninja skills. And I'm on the corner. I'm just hanging. I'm waiting for you to come back. Yeah, that's right. Okay. Are you the getaway driver? Always. Oh, get a good shot too. Always. Oh, seriously? Shit. Oh, shit. I guess we're dead if we go to his house. Yeah. Not mine. I'm just saying in general. Just in general. Yeah, I will attack on me. Really? Yeah. All right, we're going to come over. Ridge Wallet.

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42:40In Connecticut, help us available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly on behalf of Boothill Casino and Resort in Kansas. Pass through of per wager. Tax may apply in Illinois 21 plus agent eligibility. Varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive bonus bets, which expire in seven days. Minimum odds required. NBA League pass. Auto renews until canceled. Additional terms at dkng.co slash audio. limited time offer. Are you an ass guy or a titties guy? It depends on what she wearing. Right. Okay. Well, I'll tell you, she's wearing like a halter top, like a cute little halter top.

43:16Her midriff is showing, her stomach is showing, flat stomach, beautiful. Poster foot? Huh? You talking about a prostitute? No, she's not a prostitute. No, no, no, not anymore. What's down below? Huh? What's down below? She's wearing those pants that, you know where that hugs your butt, the stretchy pants where it goes into the crack of your ass? Uh-huh. You know which ones I'm talking about. There's also a little compartment where it's tied to penis. Papa There's a little comment They tuck the penis Yeah I'm listening to him You didn't add that in there Show me the stretchy pants that like your butt eats He knows which ones I'm talking about And she's shoeless No shoes And she's outside at the park You know these pants that like right there Yeah the ones that like your butt Yeah those Those from the internet Butt crack leggings Yeah and at the back you can just see the tip of the penis tuck back.

44:05Why? Marco. Why? I don't know. He hates it. I'm sorry, Marco. What? You said I hate? No, I didn't say that. No, I said you hate that. What? Penis. I know who don't say that. I'm sorry, dude. My bad. I read it wrong. You read it wrong? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about this girl? That's her right there. Ooh, love that. Don't you, bud? Now give me your intro line to her on Instagram. Somebody that kind of do that is kind of like too much attention. I don't like somebody that kind of like earth trap. You like something to lay low? You like it when it jiggles? Yeah, I like to like, you know, like hide it a little bit.

44:37You like to jiggle or what? What, the jiggle what? When the butt jiggles? Oh, okay. You have the butt. I thought you were talking about something else jiggling. No. Okay. No more. We're not doing that anymore. No more. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A penis doesn't jiggle, by the way. Depends. It just rises. Right. Depends. Like a comet. When you wake up, you wake up in the morning and what do you do? Why do you keep asking me questions? because I'm a normal human being, dude. Hey, hey. Why are you jumping? He's asking you a real question. Okay, what I do is - Respond. Okay. So I wash my gi. You know what I mean?

45:07And I have a black belt with a stripe. The stripe I can take off. So I wash that too, hand wash that, right? And I go to the dojo, right? And me and my sensei, right? We do some meditation. We'll do some yoga, right? And then I'll battle out. You know what I mean? I'll do some rounds with people. Keanu sometimes comes over and we'll do some, you know what I mean? Taekwondo. Take me through your day when you wake up what do you do what does Funny Marco do first thing in the morning I wake up I realize that you know my feet work cause you never know God is good yeah I'll be thankful for that I listen to motivation like Steve Harvey motivation and I always try to show me motivation we love Steve Harvey yeah he's one of our favorites that offended you huh it was like that offended you it was like we love Steve Harvey it was like that it was like a push that did it It was a push It was a little snap It was like a black preacher Like he went like Show me motivation Show me motivation He says that on the show Yeah We did the show Yeah Yeah I know I know Did you do it?

46:08I didn't Yeah Interesting It's like We did it You didn't We did it You didn't Shit just happens He's a godly man Are you a godly man? You are? You go to church? I'm ADHD Right Yeah Oh so you can't concentrate yeah I need some medicine they do need a church for ADHD they do I need how much money do you put in the basket when it comes around the most I put in there the most I put in there because I was young oh you've been a while what is this church that's a fun church oh yeah that's like a church I go to yeah that's how my church looks yeah that's how your church looks yeah they got a 50 inch flat screen TV there it's like the playground of my daughter it's like where his daughter goes of the playground.

46:56The most racist thing I've ever heard. No, he's saying his playground where his daughter goes to is diverse. The most racist thing I've ever heard. I'm just gonna write that down. I've ever heard. Yeah, write that down. Yeah, yeah. Wow. I apologize. They're happy. That's the celebration of hallelujah. That's Christ. Yeah. That's the Lord getting in you. Yeah. Yeah. Now, could I go in that church, you think? No. Yeah, you could. Yeah, yeah. And they would welcome me. I'd rather you not. Yeah, we definitely let him in there. I'd rather him not. How much would you put in the pot? 100 bucks. That's good.

47:25Yeah. Can I ask one more religious question if I may? Please. Yeah. Do you think Jesus would approve you having three babies from three different babies' mamas? Yeah. Yeah, I feel like yeah because they're gonna do something in life. That's right. And they're gonna save other people. Good answer. It also says in the Bible be fruitful. Yeah. And you're being very fruitful. Very good. Yeah. Be fruitful. How many kids y 'all got? I have zero. He has zero. We have zero. Oh, what do y 'all like? We pull out. Blanks? Shooting blanks. No we pull out You pull out or you back up What? Do I back up? Oh do you back up?

47:58No I'm saying do you back up? He backs up No I pull out Well he usually falls out I fall out I slip out Yeah I slip out There's nothing to grab onto That's good Yeah and I make a noise I say something usually What is your favorite sex word? Excuse me? What is your favorite sex word? Oh is it excuse me? No no no It could be My favorite sex word Word, phrase Phrase Dang that hoochie is stinky Yeah, dang that hoochie is stinky That's what he said That's usually what it is That's my favorite sentence Yeah Dang that hoochie is stinky What's yours? What's yours? I guess when I'm making love It's like Back that ass up Back that ass up Back that ass up Yeah, I'll say that pretty frequently to my wife Yeah Back that ass up Yeah Baby doll, back that ass up Yeah, yeah and then I'll give her a little, get over here, back that ass up.

48:52Yeah. What do you say? Oh shit. Oh shit. That's what you say? Oh shit. Oh shit. When you come? No, it's just like, oh shit. Oh shit. What is the sound that you make when you orgasm? Oh shit. I really don't, I really don't, I don't make no orgasm, cause I'm trying to save the energy. Right. Right. So you just look at them. No, sometimes you gotta close your eyes. Oh, you close your eyes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I see that. Yeah. Like that? No noise? Don't do no noise Okay Put your eyebrows down Can't Like this? Can't Yeah like that She gonna think it's stinky If you look like that Okay well that's my face Yeah It's a good bit Shut up I tried I tried It's a good bit Alright if I can guess Can I guess Are you a car guy?

49:43No You don't like cars You don't drive? I do but I don't care for cars You don't care at all. What is the thing you like the most? That's what's... Like what toy? Like toys? A lot of money I can buy. Some... I really... I couldn't even say. Because I didn't know I was going to have money to buy anything. And now you have it though. Yeah, but I just... I like to help people. That's beautiful. That's it. Oh, that's sweet. I don't really... It's not something like, oh, I knew I was going to get that. Oh, I want that. Like, PlayStations, PS5s, and games. I played a lot of games. He loves video games.

50:14I love video games. I used to be into like wrestling man and stuff. WWE was like my thing. That was your shit? Yeah. Who was your guy? Oh. I like Mankind because he had different personalities. Right. Yeah, Mick Foley, Hardcore. He had different personalities. Right. Have you met any of your heroes? I was upset when I found out Kane and Undertaker wasn't brothers, real brothers. And I was upset when the Dudley boys weren't real brothers. I thought they was real brothers. That fucked you up a little bit. That fucked you up. It's a lie. Yeah. But who have you met that surprised you the most? I look up the Dudley boys.

50:45Yeah, the Dudley boys for him. Who surprised you the most that you've met someone you go, wow, I really like that person. I didn't know if I'd like him. Yeah, I thought they was real brother. Yeah. What do you think gave it away that they weren't? I just... The way they dress? Yeah, it was just the energy. Yeah. The energy gave it away. Something in the room. Yeah. What do you think about Diddy's 50-month sentence? Too much, too little? I don't know. I don't get... Come on. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't. Yo, let's tell us what you feel. We know you, though. Let me tell y 'all. Can y 'all listen to what?

51:19If you pull up anything about me, I don't get into people's business. Because, look, when you believe in God, God's going to handle the real thing. So I feel like when you're living on this earth, people doing this and doing that, but it's only one answer, and that's where he going to decide. God's going to decide. That's what really can't nobody ever outdo him. I'll tell you, the judge decided he deserved 50 months. So that was the judge's opinion. So if you were a jury member, what would you have said? I'll be asleep I got ADHD oh okay yeah jury number 12 is asleep read your DM read your DMs to Marco he'd like to see how one of the exchanges goes with the girls yeah here we go with what with any of the girls he wants to play a game and we skipped right over the game yeah so here's Juan can you read it here we go so this one says hey Jocelyn and Jocelyn wrote hi Bobby and that was it that was last time they talked that was it so that was that one here's another one Bobby hey you in LA a day later sorry barely check notifications here for one more day do you come often to NYC never responded so his game is tight pretty tight shit why you don't respond he gets really over it yeah if they live in when's the next time I'm gonna be in NYC this and that I just like you know If you're in town, you're in LA, then I'll take you out, whatever.

52:44But other than that, nah, you know? Yeah, all these, you stopped responding to literally all of these women. And four of them sent the eye emoji like this, you know, the double eyes. Where are you? Yeah. I mean, this has gotten really bad. I'm actually shocked. Darn, come back. Please come back. Okay. One more. Okay. Are you being real? Yeah. Hey, how are you? Hey, Bobby, how are you? And then literally a month later, she goes okay well i'm on a show would you like to give me some tips on being on camera and you responded what do you think you said nothing yeah you said nothing yeah one more time you said nothing pretty bad oh yeah so what is it like what is it he's afraid of commitment i'm not no he really wants to commit again i think he's just not interested in girls that aren't interesting so what do you feel like his type is someone who's dynamic someone that's uh someone that's um is a dynamic personality someone that's got their own thing their own thing going on.

53:41You know what I mean? He likes women that - Like an arts and crafts store. Right. Like how Roseanne was. Just like Roseanne. Just like Roseanne Barr. Yeah. Style wise. Style wise. You know, fashion. From a fashion perspective, Roseanne is kind of like the kind of girls you date. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because Roseanne, I mean, this is kind of some of the stuff back then. No, that's not - Big, beautiful blouses. Yeah. Yeah. I do - I do - Always carrying laundry. Do you get along with her? Roseanne? Yeah. We've never met. We don't know each other. Oh. Do you love her? I do love her so much. Yeah, I don't know her.

54:11I mean, that story I told you. Do you remember? Yes, I do. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Do you want to meet Roseanne one day? I would like to meet her. Who's your comedy heroes? Who in comedy do you love? Steve Harvey. We know that. Show me. I like him for motivation. Yeah. Okay, okay, but not the comedy. Okay, who do you like? I didn't know he did. Stand up? No. He did for a long time, yeah. I just thought he did motivation. True. Who's your hero now? I love Dave Chappelle because he's just been the only one. Have you met Dave? I met him through Donnell Rowling. Yeah, we love Donnell. We love Donnell. Yeah, he don't like you.

54:45Wait, wait, wait, wait. Is that real? Yeah. No, no, wait, wait, wait. Are you being real? How do you know this? No, I'm serious. He don't like you. Yeah, yeah. But what did he say? I'm not going to go back and forth about him. Yeah, yeah. You just said you stay out of people's business. Right. I'm going to call him. Yeah, call Donnell. Yeah, I can't. We can't have this. I don't, this is, that hurts. That hurts, dude. It's also late where he is, so he might not answer because it's got to be one in the morning. Yeah. If he's in New York. That really hurts that you said that because I thought we had something with him.

55:16Him. Oh, he doesn't like Bobby. Yeah. Oh, that's fine. Let me leave a message. No, no, no. No, he said he doesn't like you. I'm fine with it. He did something about he was naked. Oh. Yeah. What? That's insane. What? He said - I was naked. I'm being real right now, Funny Marco? I'm serious. I yielded dick, son. It's stuck in my head, son. Yeah. Oh, yeah, son. Yeah, yeah. That is what he says. Yeah, yeah, yeah. that's out of control dude just text him do you not like me why don't you like me funny Marco says okay let's say goodnight boo that is how you sign off don't have his number he don't like me either why not he's just he's just a different type of energy but it's like a good like yeah but he can I just say though whenever I do see him he does hug me yeah that's just to like not come off as racist yeah yeah and then he goes you're a fool to me yeah and he goes get the fuck out of here right That's telling you a lot.

56:09That's telling me a lot. That's not good. Not good. So do you think he's racist underneath it all? No. He's not? Are you racist? No. Not even a little bit? Marco? Come on. No. Just a little bit. I mean, what is racist? You know. Yeah. No, tell me. Bring up some pictures. Yeah. Let me know, because y 'all can tell me something, though. So racism and the NFL is actively fighting it right now, as I might say. Google this is something, Carlisle. So like not liking a group of people because what they look like. Well, prejudice discrimination or just individual community or institution against a person, people based on their membership, a particular racial ethnic group typically.

56:47Yeah. No. No, you don't like. No, I go off of people off the experience that I meet them. That's wonderful. Everybody's different. That's great. Yeah. That's smart. That's the good way to be. I really don't. Because if you took away color, then what? What do you mean? Everybody was the same color, then what? If the world was black and white. Right. Then it's still. We'd still see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. He'd probably be eliminated. But what I'm saying is. Eliminated. Yeah. I like that you're writing stuff down. Here's what it is, though. I don't know if Funny Marco likes me.

57:18He loves you. I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I told you. I love Hangover. See, that's what I mean. It's that kind of stuff. I don't know what you mean. Well, he knows I'm not in Hangover. No, he does not. He's not in Hangover? No, I'm not in Hangover, dude. That's Ken Jeong. Oh. Oh, my God. well not was you on mad tv yes okay yeah yeah same guy see yeah yeah but you think we're the same guy i thought it was no now now but based on his photo do you know that that's that's not me i know you're on mad tv yeah yeah you had like screen time yeah i was on the show yeah yeah i had screen time wow how old are you 54 i already told you are you like you sure yeah mad tv is like How old was you when MADtv was?

58:04I was 30. Oh. 24 years ago. Do you remember it? I do. I remember it very well. Who was the guy that was, the guy that, stop, stop. Stewart. Yeah, Stewart. Michael McDonald. Good friend of ours. He's around. He's doing great. He works a lot. He's directing a lot. He's a director. I think they should bring it back. Yeah. We do too. Yeah, that'd be great. I don't know what it was about. I just remember watching it as a kid and it was just - Just a sketch show. Yeah. Do you like Saturday Night Live or no? I think Matt TV is better. Thank you so much. Matt TV was more fun. You had some writing to do on there?

58:39I did some writing, yeah. No. I did. Actually, I did. He did. Why did he do that? No, why did he do that, though? He did. He wrote a lot. I didn't write a lot, but I did write some stuff. Why did he do that? He writes some stuff. And your last name is Lee? Lee. You guys are really pissing me off today. Keep writing it down Maybe it'll come to fruition What? Where'd you get your last name from? It's a good question

59:09That's the craziest It makes sense Yeah Well my father Bruce Had Lee Right And I just You know When he gave birth to me I just took on the family name The Korean surname Lee Originates from the Chinese character For plum Yeah Which is the shape of my testicle You don't think that's racist? for them to have it? No. No, no, no, no, because that's real. Okay. Yeah. The name of the Li, the Chinese origin, deliver from the character meaning plum or plum tree. It's actually pretty beautiful. Yeah. That's actually beautiful. It is beautiful. Little plum. I'm a plum, dude. Like you would love to have, like you sound respectable.

59:44Because Li is very, it's one syllable, it's quick. Li. Yeah. Yeah. Li. When we get married, do you get your name up? No, no. My wife would take on my name, no? Do you don't want her name? It doesn't, I don't know what her last name, Give me an example of what her last name would be Henderson

1:00:03Bobby Henderson I like that I like that a lot Would you change your last name I want to ask you a question Why can't I ask you You can I'm going to ask you first What do you sound Henderson sound like What race would you put that way Henderson Let me see Henderson Henderson. Henderson. Henderson. What race would you feel? White. Okay. Ricky Henderson was black, great baseball player. Yeah. Really? Ricky Henderson was black? Yeah. It's a black last name. It is? It's a black last name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Henderson. It says right there, AI. The surname Henderson is only for black people. It says it right there in AI.

1:00:45It originates from the Germanic given name Henry, meaning home ruler. It's a patronomic name meaning - Scottish. Son of Henry. It's a prominent Scottish surname. Because the movie Harry and the Henderson It's not a bunch of fucking black people It should have been I know Google Harry and the Henderson Once again Hollywood doing their thing Yeah yeah yeah Harry and the Henderson Taking roles away Yeah yeah yeah yeah So let me say something Are you in that? Oh my god Yeah that's the Hendersons though Let's tread lightly here Okay why? Yeah Let's tread lightly Why tread lightly? Let's tread lightly here It's crazy Yeah it's crazy For you to bring that up Let's just tread.

1:01:24Why? Because there's a white gorilla in it? Let's tread as lightly as we possibly can. Oh, wow. You know, let's dance on the surface. Let's do the Jesus lizard and dance right across the water and not even touch it, really. Yeah, yeah. Right. You're right. Point taken. By the way, Harry is the dog. That's the biggest bit about this whole thing. That's the fun part. And that's John Henderson. Do you ever see that movie? I have not. You need to watch that. Does it seem scary? No, it don't seem scary. It seems very relaxing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is actually a story about immigration. that whole thing that's what that really was about yeah bring up Ricky Henderson the baseball player one of the greatest so this so it was a black name then so maybe it changes it changes there he is Ricky the dog oh shit one of the best rest in peace he passed 2021 maybe when did he die 2024 oh my god god it was that recent short in his years just last year would you change your last name uh I got two last names okay yeah Henderson and Summers oh so I'll go back and forth But if you met a woman, she's like, you need to have my last name.

1:02:26Would you do it? Well, how you talking? It sounds like it's going to be a Lee. No, my last name is Hodorito. I could take it. Okay. Yeah, Hodorito. Yeah, Hodorito. I like that. Okay, good. Yeah, I would take that last name. Okay, cool. See, I think when you get married, you guys should make up a new last name. That's my theory. That's dope. They should just make up a new last name. Yeah. It's a new family. Oh, this is fun. You come up with half and then you finish it. Right. Right? So go ahead. Which one? A last name? yeah just start well I had a last name and he's gonna finish it you can create a new last name half of a last name go ahead and go funny Marco so start a half of a last name funny what the fuck I'm I'm I'm it's coming to me okay her gazer her gazer her gazer love this game you didn't do her like hmm hertsin or nothing no her gazer yeah hey man you do your thing I do mine yeah I'll give you one and you finish it I wanna play Okay.

1:03:22Okay. Sit this one out. Okay. No, okay, ready? I'll give you one. Yeah, yeah. Shan. Penis. Shan penis. I did know that was gonna go that way. Hey, give me another one. I didn't see that coming. Let's be real. I'll do it real. Bane. Merkle. Bane Merkle. Mr. and Mrs. Bane Merkle. Why do you say Merkle like that? Yeah, it's got, it's sort of a Scottish twang. It's a Scottish, English is a second language. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you feel like when you're on stage, do y 'all sometimes have a moment where it just seems so like you could just, it's like it just in the Matrix, something just hits you like, God damn, I'm really on stage.

1:04:01Sometimes, yeah. Matrix moment. Where you kind of feel surreal where you don't even, you can't believe it. Like, oh my God. Yeah. Like you just like a tunnel where you just go. Yeah. That's kind of how it feels sometimes. And then I wake up, I'm in a pod. Dripping wet. I'm in a pod. Not some fantasies. I'm talking about real life. Real life. I got to tell you, 18 coughs later, you're definitely sick. There's no chance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're getting, we're getting, you know. That's not allergies. Okay, let me say something. You're going to have that cough tomorrow. You know we're going to get sick.

1:04:30Tomorrow. We're going to get sick. Oh, yeah. No, it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so I have mucus and it's coming out. Yeah, that's when you're sick. Yeah, that's sick. It's not, it's mucus. It's allergy. Allergy mucus. Allergy mucus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How often does allergies create a cough? I only cough 17 times since I've been here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 17 or 18, yeah. How long have you been sick? How long? About two months. Oh, okay. Why you laugh? No, just because that's a big sickness. Two months is longer than it should be. No, that's like normal. Average sickness. What are your symptoms right now?

1:05:03Your sore throat? None of my throat is that bad. What's your manager's name again? Jackie. Jackie! Is he sick? on his allergies yeah good manager that's a really good man good good fucking man can i ask y 'all a question because i was arguing with my brother about this i stopped wearing pull-ups at the age six going on seven when did y 'all stop diapers pull-ups same thing i think you piss in those yes yeah those are diapers yeah yeah uh oh what's the normal age to get out to get out of diapers yeah i was three i was probably around three or four right yeah i was six going on seven did you wet the bed as a kid i had a pull-up on but when after yeah but you pee in the pull-up while you're in bed no no after you were six did you wet the bed or pee you did you have a bedwetting problem at all as a kid no after i got out of the pull-ups at six going on seven you were straight but i thought that's the average age what's the average age to get out of diapers between two and three how many people get out of diapers two maybe three sounds right.

1:06:05Four is a late, that's a late bloomer. Funny Marco, do you ever shit your pants? Well, I guess you know, sharted before. Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant. I was trying to show out and try to fart but that was it. Okay. When's the last time it happened? I don't do that no more. Okay. Two and four, right. I was right. Two and four is about right. So why did I, why are they six or seven? I don't know. Maybe underdeveloped. Well, maybe you needed a little bit extra time some people need a little bit more extra time normal schools too normal schools yeah yeah you mean like um yeah were we slow are we slow i wouldn't call it slow we didn't we went you need special attention we did yeah yeah did you yeah yeah we did you really need a special attention like what what kind well i was in a program called care care stands for children and real experts.

1:07:02Something. So it's an alternative school for those that learn different, correct? That's kind of what it is? Yeah. Yeah. Oh shit, y 'all been having headphones the whole time. Y 'all can hear me? Yeah. Can you hear us? No, y 'all didn't. Yeah, I'm saying y 'all didn't. Do you want them? They're right here. Oh, y 'all didn't tell me. We have them, but you've been doing so fine without them. Do you want them? I mean, y 'all didn't tell me. But you look good. We didn't want to fuck up your hat. Yeah, yeah. Wow, you got Pusaisi in here. Yeah, Pusaisi in this motherfucker. Try them. I just didn't want to fuck up your hat.

1:07:29Let's try him. Does that sound better now? Yeah. Yeah. You want to keep him on? Yeah, I like him. Okay. God bless. God bless you. Yeah. Yeah. Strip clubs are big in Atlanta. Do you go to those? Yeah, you got to support strip clubs. You have to. What's your favorite one? I like Blue Flame. You got Magic City. Magic City's pretty standard. Yeah. Blue Flame though. Blue Flame. Yeah. Do you befriend the dancers? Do you know them personally? Yeah, I get to hear their story, why they ended up there, if they dad know they, why they didn't hear. That's the first question I ask. Do your mom know you do this?

1:07:58And what do they say usually? Why would you ask that?

1:08:05And what do you say in return? I just want to know, kind of like, you know, getting to know their background. Right. It's important. Have you ever dated a stripper? Yeah. You have? Yeah. More than one? I had one solid one. Yeah, one good one. From the Flame. Father is suing Atlanta Gentleman's Club after son is shot dead outside of Blue Flame. Deshaun Marquise Lee. Ah, what do you know? Deshaun Marquis Lee Hendren. Now, this is a guy that took a few last names. Yeah. After a fight inside the Blue Flame Lounge, spilled into the nearby parking lot. When was this shooting? Trust me, it's a good club.

1:08:39Yeah, I know. It was a long time ago. Look at that. Three years ago. Three years ago. That's so far removed. R.P. to him too. Yeah. R.P. to that gentleman. That's terrible. The Blue Flame Lounge though. They have$5 pancakes. Wow. Not bad. Have you had the food there? Nah. Okay. I'm going to eat food from like, you know, everywhere. where do you get food from then uh papados only papados and then do you cook it do you cook at home yeah i cook at home i like cooking you do yeah what would you make us if we came over we came over what was it got some fried chicken okay okay sorry i shouldn't have went that deep um fried chicken yeah fried chicken with some fries french fries yeah anything else some ketchup and hot sauce yeah ketchup and hot sauce what salad or what are you drinking liquor no liquor I drinker.

1:09:25Okay. Are you a drinker? No, I drink Mike's Hard Lemonade. Right. That's it. Do you get high? No, I don't like coughing. Right. No drugs? Mm-mm. I smoked before, but it was hard to cough. I did an edible before, and it was just like, that was just all shit. So you're no more of that? Yeah, there's edibles. Yeah. And that was like powerful. It's heavy. Edibles are powerful. Yeah, they're heavy. But Mike's Hard Lemonade, you like? Yeah, that does get me on a bus. I like those sometimes. Three of those. Three of those and you're set. Yeah. I used to drink those in high school all the time. Why you say it like that?

1:10:00I used to drink them in high school all the time. I know, but why you say it like I used to? Because I don't do it anymore. Oh. It's past tense. They're too sweet for me. Yeah. When you get older, you start to feel that way. Yeah, sugar. Too much sugar. Like you don't like desserts, like I don't like Mike's Hard Lemonade. How old are you? We don't know how old you are. I'm 32. Okay. Yeah. You said it like he wasn't going to answer. I love it. You look like a backup quarterback. I love you. I look like a backup quarterback? I'll take that You do look like a backup quarterback I'll take that What do I look like?

1:10:27What's his name? Rush If y 'all look up Look up the Baltimore quarterback right now Oh yeah that's right I got tagged a lot online by that guy People said I look like that guy Man you are sick I'm not There's no way that's There I am Yeah Yeah That's you That's fucking awesome What do I look like? Do me do me now Bob does know that's not an insult That's fantastic To be in the NFL do i look i look like i'm in the fucking nfl that's a good that's a good thing huge and you still going like you smart yeah watch what he gives me now what does he go ahead hella interceptions oh what is what does he look like uh type in panda panda express panda express workers not gonna lie you do look like three of the five that's a mexican woman that's a mexican woman Or maybe the owners Yeah yeah yeah Is that Mr.

1:11:16Express right there? Look look Do you know why I've never seen a black Chinese worker? Like I mean I've never seen a black person working at a Chinese restaurant Why? Why not? Why isn't there a black person working at a Chinese restaurant? Yeah they don't hire I asked for an application before You wanted to work at Panda Express? Not that one No they hire black people at a Chinese restaurant So like if you walked into a soul food restaurant You don't want to see white people back there working Yeah It happened Really? If you saw an Asian guy Do you want some grit? You want cauliflower? Color green?

1:11:53You wouldn't like it It happened It happened at Papa's churches No no no that's fast food That's different He's talking about like a family owned restaurant Is different Because I guarantee you There's a black guy that works at a Panda Express I bet my life on it Yeah it is Yeah But at a family owned restaurant? Yeah you're going to get I don't think so No you're not going to get that Yeah yeah Yeah. Like a Cracker Barrel. Yeah. My parents own a couple Cracker Barrel. Yeah. We won't hire anybody but crackers. And they kept the barrel and that man on the side. And they better bring it back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:12:23Donald Trump. Have you been to Cracker Barrel? No, I've never been there. It's great breakfast. You like breakfast? I really don't eat breakfast. I told you. You don't eat anything. I eat at night. Late at night. Are you having fun? Yeah. Yeah. I got to learn a lot about y 'all. and this is a moment because everybody in this room was going to die eventually, but we created a moment. We did. We did. I think we did. I'd like to not die. We came inside each other. I came inside the room. We came inside the room. I think that part's true. That part's not true. That part. Okay. I'm saying like from spiritually hearing you.

1:12:59Spiritually, we did come inside. I think our energies combined. Yeah, but it came inside. I don't think so. I think our energies met. My energy came inside you. Right. I could feel it. Yeah, yeah. I could feel it too. I don't feel it I didn't pull out I feel it Yeah I didn't pull out No it's always gonna stick with me Yeah It's gonna stick inside you I'm gonna go and Go to YouTube And I'm gonna watch Mad TV tonight Yeah? Yeah I'm gonna watch your videos Will you show it to your son Tomorrow? What the Mad TV? Yeah show your son Mad TV Why not? I mean What skits What's the skit that you in That you remember?

1:13:31That was big What's the one that you did? I did a punch But I don't know What was the big one Like you're like This is a good one I did a No don't do a punch This was, uh-oh, hot dog was huge. North Korean Scientist was big? North Korean Scientist? U.S. Connie Chung was big. No, North Korean Scientist is my biggest one. Yeah, that one was huge. That's me and my brother, Steve. Huge. Yeah, that was a great one. You was in Pineapolis, Bryce? I had one line in that, yes. He was in it? Yeah. How do you remember? He was in the van in one cutaway scene. Yeah, yeah. And that was me and the guy from Hangover.

1:14:04And that's why he confused you. That does make sense. That's what I said. You know. They're almost one of the same. They're one of the same, yeah. That's you, right? Yeah, it is me. There I am again. Marco, do you have any burning questions to ask us before we end this interview? I don't burn. No, do you have any honest questions to ask us before we end? What do you see yourself in like, you know, like 20 years? What do you see yourself? Well, I'll be 74. I just feel like I'll be on a beach somewhere, tanning, drinking some sweet drink. Get my dick sick. I'll be 60, 62. You think I'll be dead?

1:14:45Yeah. 62, 62. I'll be living in the woods in Canada somewhere. Yeah. So he's gonna be out of your life for sure. 100%. Yeah, this is only gonna last a couple of weeks. We gotta enjoy these moments. That's what I mean. He'll be writing his manifesto. Right. He's gonna make things, send it in the mail. Yeah. I won't send it to you though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. But some people - Yeah, I don't check my mailbox. Please don't. Yeah. And then - Where are you going to be in 20 years? You'll be 52. I won't be 52. I'm 32 now. I'll probably, what, 20 years? Be 52. I'll be, what, 42? 42? 52. 52, same thing.

1:15:25It's pretty close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll be almost his age. In 20 years, you'll still be younger than Bobby. I want to be living in a - That's crazy to think. Yeah, that's gross. Yeah, that's gross. That's weird. Yeah. I'd probably just be living in, I wanted like a dope. Adobe? A dope tree house. Yeah. Would you build it? No, hell no. No. I'd pay somebody to do it. Yeah, I don't. You're emotionally healthy. Yeah, okay. I'd probably get mad two times a month. What do you get mad about? Probably getting mad and fucked up my record. Mad, in Madden? Yeah. Yeah. That'll set you off a little bit.

1:15:59Just that. What team do you play with in Madden? I was playing with the Chiefs That's all to play with But I play with Philadelphia Eagles Because the Eagles Because they're cheap Because they're cheap Yeah I don't like the Eagles But But you play them They got a good squad Yeah they do But the Chiefs are going back to the Super Bowl You think so? I know so You do? Yeah Interesting You heard it here? It's part of the storyline It is part of the storyline Yeah They need to go back Yeah Okay I believe in you Funny Marco Marco, it's been more than a pleasure to have you on my birthday. You say it to every fucking guest.

1:16:34No, no, no, no. It's been more than a pleasure to have you on my birthday episode. Oh, wow. This has been an actual great birthday. And I will get sick. Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah. Huzzah. Y 'all got cake and ice cream here? Yeah. Do we have what? Cake and ice cream. Do they bring it out right now? We already did that. You said you don't want tiramisu. Yeah, is it vanilla? Tiramisu. Yeah. Yeah. Is it chocolate or vanilla? It's got all of it in there. It's got all of it. You want to try it? it's all of it in there give them a piece just try it I don't like to mix huh you don't like to mix just try a piece I like stuff straight up okay you have multicultural babies you definitely like to mix okay am I wrong yeah you have multicultural children so you love to mix is that wrong you're right yeah you want a beautiful babies yeah take me through there see thank you for watching being a bad friend

1:17:31Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.