Tortilla Face

4:32Bobby Lee:I'm excited for this, actually. This is real?

4:35Khalyla Kuhn:Residuals. Yeah, I want to see if I'm, well, that's for you. Residual.

4:38Bobby Lee:I don't have a thing. $30. Friendsgiving. Oh, it's from a bunch of, so it's five things I once saw Warner Brothers. This is what we're, this is what, you never tracked that? No, my thing is to be like, you owe$8 to Karate Ghost.

4:53Khalyla Kuhn:yeah i owe yeah you owe 14.95 to mad tv there's no way i'm getting checks well they're well they're not going to you yeah they're going

5:04Bobby Lee:someone's got that somebody's got it 58 bucks coming in yeah wait mad tv definitely still

5:08Khalyla Kuhn:giving you residuals i don't think so there's no way is syndicated for sure all over the world

5:12Bobby Lee:they're playing somewhere in a hut in indonesia yeah they're cracking up at mrs chang no way yes

5:18Khalyla Kuhn:Yes, it says.

5:20Bobby Lee:It says yes. Mad TV cast members and crew still receive residual checks from their contracts. Oh, you probably didn't have your contract.

5:28Khalyla Kuhn:I didn't probably have it. Yeah. They have Krista Flanagan. Her photo is always the one.

5:35Bobby Lee:Why is that, do you think?

5:36Khalyla Kuhn:That was the one that farted in the mouth, remember?

5:38Bobby Lee:What? You farted in her mouth. Remember I farted in her mouth and she cried?

5:41Khalyla Kuhn:Famous Bobby story.

5:42Bobby Lee:Yeah. I mean, it does make sense. If you farted in anybody's mouth, they would cry.

5:46Khalyla Kuhn:I know.

5:47Bobby Lee:I didn't know at the time though

5:48Khalyla Kuhn:My instinct said no

5:49Bobby Lee:But I did it Wasn't that funny that when we were kids You could do that to your best friend And that was like a That's what it was

5:54Khalyla Kuhn:It was like a fun club But she cried

5:57Bobby Lee:I told you

5:57Khalyla Kuhn:I used to put a

5:58Bobby Lee:It's club behavior It's club It's inside the club Yeah yeah yeah It's inside the club

6:01Khalyla Kuhn:Locker room stuff

6:02Bobby Lee:Locker room yeah Basement sleepover stuff My best friend Sean I told him on here right He's claustrophobic I used to put a blanket over him And hold him down That's like the meanest thing in the world And he would cry

6:12Khalyla Kuhn:Stop stop So when we were So mean Sacramento Troy remember Troy yeah my buddy Troy works for the casino Troy reminded me a story of this guy Eric Purvis and when I was a kid I spent the night at their room and it was a slumber party with a bunch of kids sleepover sleepover right and they drew penises on my face of like penises yeah I just said that yeah yeah they drew things on my face

6:42Bobby Lee:they drew penises on your face

6:42Khalyla Kuhn:you know what I mean whatever you know

6:45Bobby Lee:When I did sleepovers, they draw penises on my penis.

6:48Khalyla Kuhn:Very weird. I want to get a tattoo of a bigger penis on my penis. Do you think that'll work? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, have I said that joke before? No. Okay. So I remember I got up and I cried and I walked home. How far was the walk, you think? It was like a seven-mile walk. Down a dirt road. With dicks all over your face? Yeah, with dicks all over my face. I remember Eric's mom drove to find me And I was crying And she picked me back up and drove me home It's too sensitive Did she help you get the dicks off your face? I think I had My dad did it Did you say if you're gay?

7:23Bobby Lee:Yeah, yeah, yeah Does this mean you're gay? Your dad thought that they did dicks Because you're gay? That's like a star on your sleeve Yeah That they did for Jews They did that for you They drew cocks on you if you were gay Yeah

7:34Khalyla Kuhn:It was all over my face And I just I remember Why did I make a big deal out of it? Because it's embarrassing It was embarrassing

7:40Bobby Lee:It's not fun when someone draws a dick on your face. It's fun if everyone's doing it to everyone, but if everyone teamed up on you.

7:45Khalyla Kuhn:They teamed up on me and it's like, I also, I don't like getting woken up abruptly. You do not. I don't. It puts me in a bad mood. Or you fall out of a bunk.

7:55Bobby Lee:Yeah, and you go to the hospital.

7:56Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, I'll just, what do you mean? When you fell out of the bed. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I fell out and I broke my face. On the Bert Kreischer tour bus. Yep.

8:05Bobby Lee:Yeah, stuff like that. That's crazy. The fact that that happened on his bus, of course, it's going to happen on his bus. Where else didn't happen on our bus?

8:14Khalyla Kuhn:I know. Well, because I got to choose where to sleep. That's exactly right. Yeah. I want bottom bunk. You want bottom bunk. I need bottom bunk. I'm a little guy. Right?

8:24Bobby Lee:And then it's like, no, man, they bullied me. Well, that's what we're going to do at some point in a couple of years. I said, we're going to do one more world tour, bus tour, world tour. Oh, no. We are. Oh, yeah. We got to go back out and do one more for the kids. Oh, yeah. One more. remember when we did the KSI show we did his make me laugh show yeah it's what tough

8:44Khalyla Kuhn:it was tough for me because it's like nothing makes me laugh if it's not you actually funny

8:52Bobby Lee:it's hard

8:53Khalyla Kuhn:it's so hard to make somebody laugh but this is but I went up there and I went up on stage and I just do a funny dance killed and it got everyone to laugh it's not hard it's not hard. No, but here's where you're wrong.

9:06Bobby Lee:It's because everybody thinks they can be funny. You make a noise. You know what I mean? That's funny.

9:11Khalyla Kuhn:You know what I mean? And that's all you have to do to get anyone to love. But they had this, I mean, one woman pretended to be poo. Yeah. You liked her.

9:19Bobby Lee:No, I love the poo girl. She was great. That was thought out. The weird one that probably isn't going to end up in the episode was an older woman came up and did a Southern story about going to a motel with her husband and she had a cane and she threw it. And then I got worried. I said, do you need the cane? And she did need the cane. She needed it.

9:35Khalyla Kuhn:But it was very strange. And then the girl after her stole the cane. Stole the cane from her. Yeah. Yeah. And she came up with the cane. And I wanted her to get the money. She did get the money. I know because I forced it. You made sure she got the money.

9:48Bobby Lee:Because she's an open mic. I've seen her at open mics. But anyway. They do that. They make sure that the right people get the money. Because they want to make sure they go, we don't want to give away. They want to give away money.

9:58Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah.

9:59Bobby Lee:They want to give it to people.

10:00Khalyla Kuhn:But it was hard. People didn't have a plan. You got to have a plan. They just came out like, hey, what's going on? One guy set up a piece of bread. Yeah. And it fell. And it fell. And KSI laughed. They laughed. I didn't laugh. No, I said they laughed. Yeah, yeah. True. Any bread work, I'm out. That's not true. Yeah, bread work, I don't do it.

10:18Bobby Lee:That's not true because you said French roll would have made you laugh.

10:21Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, I said croissant. Croissant would have made you laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If we were in France, yeah, that would have made me laugh. But it was like, it was things like that that were happening. It just reminded me that we're old. Maybe we don't have our finger on the pulse of comedy now.

10:34Bobby Lee:No, my finger's on this pulse, making sure my cholesterol. I'm old. We're old people now.

10:39Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, we don't get it.

10:40Bobby Lee:But bread, I guess, is a thing on the internet. It's a thing on the internet. See, bread can be funny concept of Gen Z. Surreal, random meme reference to money, income, getting that bread. Didn't get any of that.

10:49Khalyla Kuhn:And then the tortilla thing.

10:50Bobby Lee:Well, that was funny. Bobby hit a guy in the face with a tortilla and then he hit him back. But he hit Bobby so hard, he fell. I fell back. It was so, I like blacked out for a second. He hit you hard. You were worried?

11:01Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, I thought like you were going to like break your back or something. First of all, you're supposed to hit him with the tortilla. He used his hand and - I got hit. Some of his fingers were in my face. That hurt. You got assaulted. Yeah, I got assaulted. It was like five minutes in too.

11:15Bobby Lee:It was wild.

11:16Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah. It was wild.

11:17Bobby Lee:What I would have done is like you auditioned them first. Here's what you would have done. What? You would have gone on stage and told jokes. That's how you're funny. That's not our world. Trying to make people laugh. Like stand up? Yeah, we're stand-ups. I know, but I can still do it. That's different though.

11:33Khalyla Kuhn:That's clowning. That's actually clowning. I can clown around and do it, but they just weren't funny people. Would you be willing? Yes.

11:42Bobby Lee:Already, already, yes. Because I want to do it.

11:44Khalyla Kuhn:Let's do it.

11:44Bobby Lee:I want to go to clown school. I actually would do a semester at clown school. I'm not kidding. Would you go to France with me and do a semester at clown school?

11:49Khalyla Kuhn:I would do a semester, yeah.

11:51Bobby Lee:Because after I talked to Zach Zucker about it, I was like, this is incredible. I would love to just go. It's like, you know how people go take a college course because they want to learn something. Not from you, Fancy.

12:00Khalyla Kuhn:You guys would be good. Oh, I'd be the best clown.

12:08Bobby Lee:By the way, he gets a kid's show out of this. No, but here's another thing I want to do with you. Hello, neighbor. Won't you be my neighbor?

12:19Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, yeah. I would put, you know, you've seen those Chinese people wearing the squeaky ducks on their feet and then they whip each other with a harmonica. So funny. I want to do that. It's one of the funniest things. With mousetraps on the floor. I love stuff like that. What is that even called? This. No, that's not it. Yeah, it's they whip. They whip each other.

12:42Bobby Lee:Guys with ducks on their feet. Just click on that. It's just so funny that they do that. Yeah, I think it's a fun game. They beat each other with ducks on their feet. Yeah, this, this. Yeah, look at.

13:02Bobby Lee:so this guy's blindfolded and they have to walk and he swings at him yeah pause this this is just in this guy's bedroom by the way i know i got his friends over it was like come put ducks on your feet yeah this is what we need to i want to do this this is fun this is funny

13:18Khalyla Kuhn:some people use bull whips like white dudes that's crazy it's crazy where they get really hurt yeah we're not gonna do that but maybe a belt or something yeah last night we had a we had a crack

13:29Bobby Lee:we had thai food last night but of course i make fun of my wife every time she gets tom kha soup why it's beautiful lemongrass is not it for me i love it smells like wet feet grass it smells like the studio yeah yeah that's what it tom kha it's a lemongrass soup with mushroom it's i cannot stand it and to me it's so refreshing to me it just feels like they don't even like making it Like they get the order and they're like, Tomka? All right. Like they have to get it out. They like making fun stuff. This is like soup slop.

14:00Khalyla Kuhn:It's also like the taste. It's like, when did fire become a flavor? Like, you know what I mean? Burn. It burned. It's an element, right? It's like, oh, this sandwich is windy or whatever. Like, why would you, you know, like it should not be a flavor. no fire doesn't need to be yeah fire yeah earthy earthy muscles that's never good what are you

14:25Bobby Lee:eating a storm a storm yeah yeah i'm eating a little storm i don't see i can't do it where it's like it's so hot like how is this do you like hot shit yeah but not like that not like where it's so hot you can't taste anything yeah because it i told you i took my buddies uh one of his good friends over to uh uh um in thai town to um jitlada i don't know you don't know jitlada yeah you say these things i'm not fancy no jitlada is one of one of the most famous old school jitlada jonathan gold ranked it as like one of the best thai food in la at the time rest in peace jonathan go jitlada is the best oh there oh you know jitlada you passed it a hundred times and yeah i've seen that before it's on la brea no it's on it's on hollywood boulevard in thai town so good we took a swedish kid here whatever swedish danish what something up there what does it have it that have just a kid those kids don't eat spice swedish kids okay any nordics he goes he goes she's like how spicy and he's like hot and they were like okay how how hot like they see whites they know better and they go you don't do what we do and if it's 10 what you do is a two or three if it's 10 from them yeah i get three max max you don't go over five there's no way five is too much we're what i'm white yeah then we can't do that this guy got their spice and he did the game where he he's like no it's good we're like that's not too hot and he was like it's fine four seconds dripping in sweat yeah he's like convulsing and he's like i don't

15:52Khalyla Kuhn:know if i can finish and you're like yeah no shit yeah you you just wait wait the swedish

15:56Bobby Lee:got an asian accent yes it turns him asian oh he ate such hot food yeah yeah he became thai wow anyway thai food gotta be my new number one lately i don't know what it is i keep eating good

16:09Khalyla Kuhn:thai yeah thai is my it's never been my thing wow really yeah indian is my thing i love indian You ever go to Elmerch? Come on. Yes or no? Of course. Elmerch is the best. It's so good. Yeah.

16:22Bobby Lee:Don't give it away on this show.

16:23Khalyla Kuhn:Why?

16:23Bobby Lee:I don't want people to go.

16:24Khalyla Kuhn:No. The non? We shouldn't say the name. I don't want people to - No, Elmerch. I want to give them a plug. That's how good they are.

16:29Bobby Lee:No, it is good, but now people are going to - You don't go there every day. I'm there every day. Yeah, yeah.

16:35Khalyla Kuhn:Elmerch is so good. It's phenomenal. They have - I don't know about you with samosas. What do you mean? I love samosas. I know, but I'm only a vegetable samosa guy. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, you don't ever get meat? No, I only get vegetable samosas with the potato and the peas in there. It's so clean and fried. It's delicious. And also naan. I love garlic. Would you like garlic, onion? Garlic naan's my favorite. Garlic, all right. It's my favorite. Good. And then you always get two curries of some, you know? Have to get at least two curries. Yeah, a chicken one and a, what do you do?

17:05Khalyla Kuhn:I do a veggie curry and then a -

17:07Bobby Lee:A veggie always. Yeah, veggie always. Always. And then - I'm just making our listeners hungry as all this really.

17:12Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, but it's a really good, I love Indian food.

17:15Bobby Lee:Well, welcome back to the show, McCone.

17:17Khalyla Kuhn:We're starting. Remember I gave you money? What'd you spend it on? I would spend it on, I went bowling with some friends. Good. I spent it on when I got drinks with my aunts.

17:28Bobby Lee:Now, did you pick up the tab? Because you never offered the tab ever. Yeah. You picked up the tab.

17:33Khalyla Kuhn:I threw a couple hundreds down on it.

17:35Bobby Lee:Whoa, player.

17:37Khalyla Kuhn:Wow. Wow, wow, wow. At the bowling alley?

17:39Bobby Lee:By the way,$100 in Minnesota at a bowling alley? That's a lot. You can bowl for a month.

17:44Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah. Amazing.

17:45Bobby Lee:You're like, how many games do you want to own the bowling alley?

17:47Khalyla Kuhn:Do you hook up with any Minnesota ladies? You know he did.

17:50Bobby Lee:No, I was just with my family. He's being coy. You know he did.

17:52Khalyla Kuhn:He took someone to the cabin. Yeah. Now, my girlfriend wants me to take me to a wedding in Wisconsin in the woods. Should I go? I know. I'm scared.

18:01Bobby Lee:Whenever a white girl says, let's go to the woods. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And invites a minority to the woods, you know that's bad. Have you seen Midsommar? Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen Get Out?

18:08Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, exactly.

18:08Bobby Lee:That didn't work out too well for him. That's your girlfriend and that's you. It's sinking in. It's slowly sinking in.

18:15Khalyla Kuhn:In the movie, so I enter a white man? Yeah. You do? Hello, neighbor! Is that they just...

18:25Bobby Lee:You transform into a nerdy white guy? Wow. Bradley Whitford?

18:30Khalyla Kuhn:Phenomenal actor. Guy's so good. He's so good. I mean, West Wing, it goes on and on. Studio 60. Yeah, Studio 60, yeah. Not as good. Not as good. What's the ones that were the, what's the show with the whites and the hoods and the. That's where I took you to in the South. No, what's the one that works like modern, but it's like oppressive. Hands and Mail. Handmail. Hands and Mail. I saw that. He's in that. He's in that. Yeah, yeah, Hands and Mail. That show was so good. It was so good, that show. but the best show on television is widow's bay i've never seen it it is uh my friend katie diphol and colton dunn produce it it's so good i know colton dunn he's great he's great so it's dude wait this is his show he wrote this he produces on it yeah he's the man he's in it no no he's neither writer in it no they're the writers he said katie diphol yeah but he does but he's you know colton wrote for key and peel yeah yeah i mean he's a great writer he was a mad

19:34Bobby Lee:role that i was maybe going to be up for in superstore when he's in a wheelchair yeah and they literally i went in for the audition they were like you're in a wheelchair and i was like oh why why and they were like what do you mean just you're in the characters in a wheelchair wow i was like no no i just i didn't know that going in they didn't tell me that until i was in the room well did you do it well yeah i was like Yeah!

19:57Khalyla Kuhn:I know. It's so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta go high so they can give you notes. You gotta go lower it down, lower it down. You know what I mean? They have to tell you to tone it down. Tone it down, yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't get it? Yeah, yeah. I didn't get it! Hi, it's Piano Collie, and I am a real life wheelchair user. I wanted to pop in to let y 'all know, Andrew Santino is my best friend. And he should be yours too. Don't be bothered by what you just said. I'm not. So you shouldn't be either. Yeah, we good?

20:34Bobby Lee:Yeah, we good.

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22:05Khalyla Kuhn:Smalls! Oh my God, I have three cats at home. Gooner, Ming, Bojo. Meow, meow, meow. What are you meow-mowing? I was going to meow every time you said it.

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23:19Khalyla Kuhn:Talk space. I had therapy earlier today, and let me say this, the weight off my shoulders is off. I had a lot going on this week, and talking to someone is so important. Because especially if you come from trauma, right, you can do EMDR, talk about trauma, so that later it doesn't turn into strokes. Stress and cancer and all sorts of nonsense.

23:39Bobby Lee:Take control of your mental health right now. The world feels a little uncertain for you, maybe. And better mental health leads to better overall health. And communication leads to better relationships. So what you want to do is talk it out, man. Don't be afraid to do it. Bobby and I are big proponents of therapy in all forms.

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24:23Khalyla Kuhn:You did? Yeah, I'm like, I don't know. Everybody. Yeah, I did that.

24:29Bobby Lee:Yeah, yeah. Imagine my performance is so bad. They're like, we got to have a black guy in the wheelchair. I literally auditioned and they were like, it's too much. We can't do this guy. This guy's too much. We went too far. Yeah, but Widow's Bay is... I went back for a callback. I broke my neck. I jumped off a building. Yeah, it's called Meister Technique. I love it.

24:47Khalyla Kuhn:Method. But Widow's Bay is the funniest and pretty scary show. It's great. What's it on? Apple. It's on Apple. Jeez, man.

24:56Bobby Lee:These guys keep making great TV and we're not a part of any of it. I know. God, I bought your fucking phone. Look at that there, Katie. and then we know the other guy it's pretty great hero oh yeah yeah yeah i don't know who that is

25:13Khalyla Kuhn:he he was the showrunner for atlanta that's what's his name no did i fuck up his name that's not the same guy it is is it yeah

25:24Bobby Lee:can you look it up i don't know but it doesn't oh yeah hero mir mir mir mir i hero mir i did yeah hero mir i that's right he doesn't he doesn't look like that

25:33Khalyla Kuhn:he's getting older maybe they use the wrong picture wrong Asian

25:36Bobby Lee:that happens a lot yeah that's so funny I got an Amber alert yesterday last night yeah and then I was driving on the highway and they also had it on the highway on one of the signs enough you're not gonna get them

25:49Khalyla Kuhn:have you ever gotten an Ebony alert what's an Ebony alert it's real it's when a black person goes missing yeah my phone goes god damn

26:00Bobby Lee:dude I was waiting

26:02Khalyla Kuhn:i was like who's gonna do it yeah yeah right there yeah it's in california it's new it's so hard on the phone when you're watching a movie at the theater right god damn all the time oh you're already talking so much it doesn't matter yeah yeah but um wow so yeah i get amber alerts as

26:17Bobby Lee:well yeah it's always crazy it's in a van if it's ebony and alert it should be ivory alert then is what if it's ebony and ivory why wouldn't we do that why is it amber because it was a girl that got kidnapped named amber yeah it's probably can i be honest with everybody in our audiences yeah If you're naming your kid Amber, she's going to get kidnapped.

26:33Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah. Also, can I just, another suggestion? Please. Right? Don't kidnap white girls. Yeah, well, you're going to - Because they care so much. They care a lot. They care so much. You know, me, don't kidnap white girls.

26:46Bobby Lee:That's a lesson out there. It's a lesson out there. Don't do it. Yeah. I just don't like when you get the Amber Lover on your phone and it goes, Bad! Bad! Yeah. You're like, okay, I can't, I'm not going to go. I'm not going. What am I going to go look for the Kia Soul? I'm going to go look for a brown Kia Soul with license plate XQ485. You can turn them off on the government alert section. How fucked up and dark is that? You can turn it off. I haven't. That's how little we care about people. We go, I don't want to.

27:10Khalyla Kuhn:No, mine's on. I want to keep it on. Because what if I'm at the 7-Eleven? Now, this is the beginning of the movie. I often go. You wouldn't do anything if you saw Amber. Are you out of your mind? Not Amber. She's gone. But if Amber. Amber's gone.

27:24Bobby Lee:This is the beginning of a good movie.

27:25Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're at 7-Eleven. I'm at 7-Eleven. I look over. I get an amber look. I look over, look out for a white bus. You know what I mean? With florist and green. You mean like a van? Yeah, yeah. A white van? A bus. Oh, school bus? No, a bus like that. A school bus. Right. Well, florist and green hubcaps. These guys are bad criminals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.

27:44Bobby Lee:What did they steal her in? A big white, the Chinese tourist bus. Yes. It's a tourist bus. It's a tourist bus. And it's filled with Chinese people going to Hollywood Boulevard in amber.

27:53Khalyla Kuhn:Right. And it says, you know what I mean? Look for a Puerto Rican kid named, you know what I mean, Raul.

28:00Bobby Lee:Ta-ta. Last seen on a bus filled with Chinese tourists going to Griffith Park.

28:04Khalyla Kuhn:And then I go, would I, who do you call?

28:08Bobby Lee:The cops. No. They're busy. And then you got to call and go, I think I see the white bus. You call the cops and emergency doc answers. Hey man, what's up? Hey man, that girl got kidnapped. You got the job? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I thought you failed.

28:22Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah. Yeah, they needed someone bad, Tino. Well, like who do you call the cops? and then they leave

28:27Bobby Lee:and then what happens? They try to track it. And then I gotta stay there. Then now you're implicated. This is what I'm saying. This is the beginning of a movie. Now you're in. The cops don't show up so you keep following them and then you have to pretend like you're a part of their crew. No, because I have a white bus too. Right? There's another white bus. It just so happens. Yeah, I have a white bus. Okay, I got it. You're a tour guide and you're giving a Chinese tour guide. Why a Chinese tour? That's who takes those. No! You mean like a Hollywood tour? Yes. Yeah. And they're kidnapped. the girl in the same - They're not Chinese.

28:56Bobby Lee:They're like,

28:57Khalyla Kuhn:oh, this is where Morgan Freeman live.

29:00Bobby Lee:They do? I've been on that tour. That's exactly what it sounds like. Oh, okay. The whole time. Yeah. And they come with a little flag and they go, follow, follow. Okay. We've all seen this tour. All right, so I'm a guy.

29:10Khalyla Kuhn:There's two tour buses. Yeah, identical. Identical. We're both Chinese guys? No, dude. The kidnappers are just guys that kidnapped a girl. But they have a tour bus. They have your same bus. The same kind of bus.

29:21Bobby Lee:Yeah, exactly. And you're giving a tour.

29:23Khalyla Kuhn:Actually, the same bus. It's the one bus. You're just the driver.

29:27Bobby Lee:Right. They kidnap a girl and take her on your tour bus.

29:30Khalyla Kuhn:Exactly. Oh, I see.

29:32Bobby Lee:And I call them on my own. Right. Speed.

29:34Khalyla Kuhn:Right? It's speed. It's the same. It's speed. Oh, there's a bomb on it. Yeah. Oh, there's a bomb. There's a bomb. You have an adult child and a bomb. Do I have to have an accent in it? A hundred percent. Oh, hello. Yeah, police. LA police. How can I help you? Yeah, I have a bomb on my tour bus. Okay, where are you? We were going to Marlon Brown. Oh, how? Oh, you got it? Yeah, go to Marlboro and the Cartesian house. Okay. Yeah, and then, you know, there's a guy in the back, and he goes, I saw Amberlo first. Okay. Yeah, yeah, and went, bam, bam. Is a girl with you? What? Is a little girl on the bus?

30:08Khalyla Kuhn:Yes. Well, I got two, I got Amberlo and Ebony alert. Yeah, so both of them on bus. Okay. Yeah. Well, bring them to the police station now. No, but there's a bomb. Well, why is there a bomb on the bus? Please call Keanu Reeve. Okay, I'll call Keanu Reeve. Yeah, yeah, because I think he can solve.

30:25Bobby Lee:What about Sandra Bullock?

30:26Khalyla Kuhn:You want me to call her? No, no, no, no, not her. Okay, that's fine. This is not a bolt speed situation. Okay, this is a...

30:34Bobby Lee:You dig? Yeah, it's a funny movie. It's a funny movie, right. Amber Alert. I've never heard of an Ebony Alert. You made that up. I really didn't. Yes, you did.

30:43Khalyla Kuhn:No.

30:43Bobby Lee:How come we've never gotten one? Is it only for black people's phones?

30:46Khalyla Kuhn:Because you have the wrong phone. Only Sampsons? Yeah, exactly. Cricket Wireless. It comes with quicker wire. It comes with it as a package.

30:57Bobby Lee:By the way, they only, Ebony alerts only go to phones that go green. It's only, it's not iMessage. It's only, you can only get it if you have an Android.

31:11Bobby Lee:This is insane. It's insane. Emergency notification system, California design aid to swift recovery, missing black youth and women. I've only seen Amber. I've never seen Ebony. Maybe we should download it.

31:20Khalyla Kuhn:It's not an app. Just do all races then. Yeah, I don't know why. We're doing the argument of Fox News. Yeah, Korean alert.

31:28Bobby Lee:Oh, that's funny. He is. He's on Fox. Kimchi alert. Can I tell you something? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Kimchi alert's so good. For kimchi thieves? Yeah. Or just, okay. Kimchi alert.

31:40Khalyla Kuhn:Kimchi alert.

31:41Bobby Lee:So good. The California Ebony Alert program went into effect January 1st, 2024. Oh, it just started. All right, we're brand new.

31:47Khalyla Kuhn:We're brand new. By the way, I'm going to Europe in, what,

31:51Bobby Lee:eight days yeah i had no idea you you got to get a visa to go to uk now you got to pay 20 bucks just

31:55Khalyla Kuhn:to like apply to go to as a tourist yeah we did it last year for the london those are not our dogs

32:00Bobby Lee:anymore i thought they were our boys well australia do i have to do it 100 australia you do yeah but yeah but you're working i'm going as a tourist and you still have to get one wow i thought that was wild i was like man they really don't like us anymore huh yeah you got to apply right there

32:12Khalyla Kuhn:to the eta they do the same thing coming here i know but we didn't used to do that yeah but for

32:17Bobby Lee:the world cup how many i mean did it was it difficult for people to come here no you just pay 20 bucks they tourists pay 20 bucks but i'm sure they let everyone in i think they do i don't know you've seen have you seen some of those games it looks like everybody got in yeah yeah yeah holy shit dude it's a trump thing i think 2025 oh it just started january of last year so we did it when we went there last year oh yeah didn't know that yeah it's making so much even the park i

32:42Khalyla Kuhn:mean it's like everything's being charged it's fucking crazy that pisses me off yeah i know we already talked about i know i know but it pisses me off everything but it goes back to my like we

32:50Bobby Lee:gotta sell air you know what i mean but it's like we should we gotta get in bottle and sell bad air yeah it's bad air it's just bobby's farts in a can yeah we'll just get the room here

33:00Khalyla Kuhn:let's bottle the room something i'm there's something wrong i feel that's it's throwing me off because i feel like i'm getting sick right now i hate that you guys don't even smell anything

33:07Bobby Lee:it makes me question your living situation yeah maybe you guys all have broken pipes yeah what What is this?

33:12Khalyla Kuhn:It's air from - Taylor Swift's Aeros tour? Yeah, it's from one of her concerts. $50.

33:17Bobby Lee:Yeah. Buy it now, go ahead if you want it. Go ahead and buy it. I know you want to.

33:21Khalyla Kuhn:It's an Air One. There is new Air One water at the bar that's$12. It's just ice water. We'll get some next show.

33:28Bobby Lee:It's just water that comes from their tap and it's there, it's just$12 for tap water?

33:32Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, it's like a new thing. It's unbelievable. We gotta get some -

33:35Bobby Lee:What a game that they're playing over there. What a game that they get to play, huh? Add to water. Yeah. that's wild it's genius though people are doing it who cares I'm gonna sell my thumb imprint

33:47Khalyla Kuhn:your DNA no you know the glue thumbs I make oh the glue thumb I thought you meant your physical thumb oh your fingerprints you mean I wouldn't sell that you can use that for what murder sure whatever everything but that would be interesting cause not in Atlanta wherever the murders are and they use it

34:10Bobby Lee:they gotta go down the list of how you're not there how were you able to not be here

34:15Khalyla Kuhn:that's pretty impressive like i've i'm sure they can track that i'm not where they're killing right but if your fingerprints are there i know but i'm saying i sell glue thumbs yeah but they ping his

34:24Bobby Lee:thumb they ping your phone so they'll know you're not there i'm not there how could he have been

34:27Khalyla Kuhn:there now this is for you covering up future murders you're sending out all these so now

34:31Bobby Lee:you have an alibi oh my god there's another movie there yeah the kimchi alert thief yeah He's on the go. He's just kidnapping at will, leaving his thumbprints all over the country. Wow. The other day was 7-Eleven day. Did anybody go get a free 7-Eleven slushie? No? No. You know I did. What'd you get? There's only one slushie. Blueberry? Cherry Coke. Cherry Coke. My favorite. Yeah. Cherry Coke's the best. They don't like giving it to you. You know that. You go in there, you go, I went to free slushie, and they're like, fine.

35:06Khalyla Kuhn:Well, guess what about Coke?

35:08Bobby Lee:What's wrong?

35:09Khalyla Kuhn:Prices are rising.

35:11Bobby Lee:Coca-Cola prices are on the rise?

35:12Khalyla Kuhn:Guess why? Why? It has something to do with the straight-over moves. What is it? No, don't Google it. Don't Google it. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, okay. Wait, wait. Guess.

35:20Bobby Lee:Why would... Is there a little bit of oil in Coke?

35:24Khalyla Kuhn:It would make it better. Yeah. Why would Coke rise because of the straight-over moves, you think?

35:31Bobby Lee:Because during war times, you share a Coke. I've seen the commercial. Did your house just get bombed? Yeah. Get a Coke. Have a Coke and shut up.

35:38Khalyla Kuhn:There's a polar bear there too.

35:40Bobby Lee:This is really bad. Can I tell you? Yeah, what is it?

35:44Khalyla Kuhn:Aluminum.

35:45Bobby Lee:Oh, the cans.

35:47Khalyla Kuhn:Aluminum, dude.

35:48Bobby Lee:Oh, that makes perfect sense. I don't even know how I know that. Well, you saw it on a TikTok this morning on the shitter. Yeah. If I know you. Aluminum prices are surging multi-year highs due to the combination of geopolitical supply shocks, structural production limits, and growing demand. Middle East tensions are causing... What is that? So what does it say? Aluminum, one of the world's largest smelters, Aluminum Bahrain and Alba. previously cut output roughly 10 19 so we're overpaying for coke thanks a lot her moves thank

36:13Khalyla Kuhn:you her moves yeah who's the blame there you think nobody's just like it's a forever war i feel like everything is a forever war though what do you mean name a war that actually finished we didn't

36:24Bobby Lee:finish vietnam wasn't still going on brother no it's not no it ended they won they did win didn't they win 100 yeah well we surrendered we we stopped we left we left which that's an american away of being like you didn't beat me i went home yeah it's like well you were losing it's like no yeah the word that was the worst we're still suffering from that in terms of people military still suffering from that it was the worst that thing was the worst it was the worst war it's a bad fuck up but guess what it wasn't even a war conflict did you know that yeah we did what was

36:54Khalyla Kuhn:the last war that u.s were in on bad friends world war ii we already talked about it yeah okay sorry my bad it's fine let's talk about not war okay but can i just say one last thing though about war horse okay so i was i re-watched uh godzilla minus one oh have you seen it of course terrible movie i've only seen plus one i only go positive with godzilla yeah yeah and what you realize is that the guy the main um lead in it his character bailed out of kamikaze oh right he we talked about that he decided not to go through it and then when you think really think about that you're like why

37:34Bobby Lee:would i root for this guy the shame yes yeah because he was they were disowned by by the

37:39Khalyla Kuhn:government yeah relatable what it's probably relatable to not want a kamikaze i almost bought

37:44Bobby Lee:you a gift yesterday what is it i couldn't get the gift because of circumstances but i found a shop in little tokyo i went to little tokyo yesterday and i found a shop that people huh somebody be

37:54Khalyla Kuhn:from out of town we had family in town and they wanted to go there yeah we wanted a good place to it's awesome yeah well first of all you get recognized a lot uh through the furry masks yeah

38:04Bobby Lee:i did okay they wear furries all you know have you been to little tokyo there's kids dressed up with furry masks on people anime dressed up it's actually fucking awesome this is like it's like comic-con constantly in in little tokyo yeah it is it's great so i went around to some of the shops i wanted to take them to philippe's french dip and then we walked down oh that's a great place and then we went walked down from there and i said my wife was like you know little Tokyo's right there and the girls wanted to go see it and I was like this is definitely worth it and they were it's mesmerizing good food but there was a figurine that I almost bought for you but the circumstances I'll tell you later okay but I am gonna buy it for you and it's it's a one-of-a-kind Godzilla and it'd be perfect in this studio and I saw it I immediately was like yeah oh he's gonna

38:47Khalyla Kuhn:love that yeah my girlfriend was like um my bracelet broke okay all right buy another one no i want it fixed i go where do you go to the jewelry district downtown well careful yeah but you don't realize that the jewelry district is right i love that you can't say jewelry it's my favorite thing in the world say it again jewelry there it is jewelry jewelry it's like english wasn't your language no no what is it jewelry jewelry jewelry district jewelry district jewel lary jewelry jewelry yeah do it fast jewelry district and i really i go i go there's no parking right and if i were going to park my car in on any street it's going to get taken and it's going to get ransacked broken into yeah it's like we i said i we kind of got our first kind of i was like i'm not doing it yeah it's crazy how it's literally right next to it your first fight was like 15 months since your relationship it's going well yeah i mean we They don't really fight.

39:48Khalyla Kuhn:They don't fight. It wasn't even a fight. I was just like, can we just not?

39:52Bobby Lee:I mean, I can just get you another piece of jewelry. This is why McCone doesn't mind driving that piece of shit that he drives. Because McCone could leave the doors open, the keys in it running, and people are like, I'm not taking that fight. You can't imagine. We should get a forensic scientist to come in to find out how many materials have been spilled on his seats. Bodily fluids, food. Oh, your car seats. It's un-fucking. I bet you I would win.

40:14Khalyla Kuhn:No chance. Oh, yeah, 100%. Go outside. I got stuff that you would like, why was that even in the car? His car's a biohazard. Yeah. The state came by in a head-to-head suit. I have antifungal cream all over my car right now.

40:27Bobby Lee:That's what he drives, antifungal cream. Yeah, yeah. Hyundai antifungal cream.

40:31Khalyla Kuhn:Because my foot itched once and I went, and the two of it went all over the place.

40:35Bobby Lee:His car has, your seats are, I don't want to sit in it. I get afraid to go in there.

40:39Khalyla Kuhn:Was it like that before you bought the car?

40:41Bobby Lee:Of course not.

40:41Khalyla Kuhn:No, but I've had it for like seven years.

40:43Bobby Lee:But he destroys it. You're like me. Yeah. We don't care about it. Brother, he's way worse. I love it, dude. Way worse than you. Are you a hoarder?

40:50Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah.

40:51Bobby Lee:Yeah, I can see it. It's gross. It's gross. His place is insane. You've never been to his house. Is it hoardy?

40:55Khalyla Kuhn:There's just, there's shit everywhere.

40:57Bobby Lee:There's shit everywhere. Oh my God. The smell. It does not. It smells good. You know why it doesn't smell? Why? He has a lot of candles. I do. For if women come over. He's very smart with that. And incense. Incense. I see. Carlos. Carlos keeps it clean. Tight, clean, tidy. Your place is clean? There's no mess at his house.

41:14Khalyla Kuhn:Yes, I have a dog, so I don't want it to be...

41:17Bobby Lee:You also have a Bible.

41:18Khalyla Kuhn:I do have the Bible.

41:20Bobby Lee:You have the Quran as well?

41:21Khalyla Kuhn:No, I have the drug Bible he's referencing from Coachella. Yeah.

41:25Bobby Lee:Throw it away. Yeah.

41:26Khalyla Kuhn:I haven't done anything since Coachella.

41:28Bobby Lee:Oh, you're just holding onto it for a rainy day? Hell yeah. You look like an exorcist priest. Yeah, you could perform exorcisms.

41:35Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah. Yeah, like not... They're like street... But if you see the exorcism, right? Exorcist. I have to go through Rome, but mine don't go through Rome. No, you don't go through Rome. You're just the guy that knows, right? And you smoke and you're a little dirty. You live in like a tiny place. Yeah, I do. With a neon red Bible on your wall. I do Hail Mary. I was going to say a neon sign outside of his window and it glows in his room. Yeah, that's cool. And everything's black. Like John Doe from Seven. Yes. Yes. That's exactly right. There's a hand in a glass jar. I would love to devote my life to like just exercising demons from people.

42:10Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, dude. I think you'd be able to do it. We got to exercise some out of you soon. Yeah. I did fail Latin. No, you would suck the demons in you. That's your thing. Oh. I think you have a great capacity for demons. Yeah. I definitely do. I think you do. I think that you could just. You are the vessel. Yeah, yeah.

42:26Bobby Lee:His reserve tank is big for demons.

42:28Khalyla Kuhn:Yes, I think so.

42:29Bobby Lee:Yeah. You're like the thing that captures ghosts in Ghostbusters, but they don't have to ever clean it out.

42:33Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah. I don't like getting rid of like addictions or bad things. I just manage them. So bad. Yeah, you manage them. Brother. You can manage demons. Oh, yeah. I mean, I currently do. Stop, stop, stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know he speaks in Latin to them. Yeah. It's Amber.

42:51Khalyla Kuhn:Ultra. You know what, man? Those pouches get addictive.

42:54Bobby Lee:Well, look, you put in your mouth, you put in your mouth, you keep doing it all day. You don't realize how many you put in there. And then you're buzzing off the nicotine. And you don't need that. You need a little bit of an alternative. And that's why Ultra is here to supplement that. These things are great, man. There's zero nicotine and they're natural nootropics.

43:09Khalyla Kuhn:It narrows your blood vessels and restricts oxygen delivery to muscles, which directly counteract the pump you want to get out of your workout.

43:18Bobby Lee:That's what nicotine does to you. Yeah, but with Ultra now, that's not going to be the case, okay? Ultra helps you out, all right? It helps you out. It feels good. Nicotine is actually detrimental to your workouts. If you are exercising, it increases your heart rate and blood pressure significantly. So why not take an alternative that helps you out that's nicotine-free? These things last one to two hours of energy. They're actually fantastic.

43:39Khalyla Kuhn:They're great for athletes, runners. Yeah, they are very good.

43:42Bobby Lee:You get a better boost without having that nicotine buzz, that nicotine anxiety that sometimes comes along with it. So if you're looking to supplement it with something else, they got great flavors, Cool Mint, Wintergreen, Tropical, Watermelon, and Blue Raz, which is my favorite. Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch delivering instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine.

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44:05Bobby Lee:That's TakeUltra.com for 15 % off with code BADFRIENDS. after your purchase are going to ask you, what did you hear about us? Support our show, please, and tell them that we sent you.

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45:26Khalyla Kuhn:Factor! Oh my, there's another better meal than factor. You want to try that again? No, I don't because when I get excited, I stutter. I know. Yeah, yeah.

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46:36Khalyla Kuhn:What do you mean you failed Latin? Why would you take Latin? My dad made me take Latin in 2001. Why? Because it was offered at my school. I wish you would have studied that. No, I didn't. Your whole life. It's an unusable language. It's not. I don't take Spanish. It's a romantic language.

46:50Bobby Lee:You take Sanskrit instead? You can't fucking use Latin. No, it was terrible. 9-11 happened during it. That's why. Wow. Yeah. You were summoning some old.

46:59Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, it was crazy.

46:59Bobby Lee:Like Gregarian chants or whatever?

47:02Khalyla Kuhn:I said the wrong thing and some Middle Easterners all of a sudden show up on a plane.

47:06Bobby Lee:We must kill the infidel. Exactly. Because of you, they crashed? It was a curse.

47:10Khalyla Kuhn:You look like a conspiracy theorist to me.

47:12Bobby Lee:Bob, that's projecting.

47:14Khalyla Kuhn:Right? Like you know things, believe in things.

47:16Bobby Lee:You do right now a lot.

47:17Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah. Make believe a conspiracy theory. Give us any of them. Yeah. No, something that you've completely made up, but let me just see. Lindsey Graham didn't die of natural causes. What happened? There was a bathhouse rave party late at night in Kiev.

47:34Bobby Lee:You know what's so funny? Full of Germans. You know that he knows this is real. Russians. Yeah. It was Russians.

47:39Khalyla Kuhn:And this like really good looking hockey player guy was like, He did Rivalry. Yeah. Yes. They were filming. It was one of the actors. One of the actors. But to get Lindsay's attention, he whispered things about Disney movies. Whoa. He loves Disney World. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he was like, Aladdin, I know about Aladdin. Yeah, he knows about Aladdin. Yeah.

47:59Bobby Lee:Well, we all know about Aladdin.

48:00Khalyla Kuhn:So he did some deep diving.

48:02Bobby Lee:Aladdin was one of the 9-11 pilots. I can show you the world trade centers.

48:08Khalyla Kuhn:Wow. Wow. You did the theme music for this movie we're gonna make. That's amazing. We just cracked the code. We just cracked the code.

48:17Bobby Lee:I can show you the world trade centers. Trade centers. Shining shimmer. Let's go to the lyrics. Let's find out if there's a 9-11. I don't, okay. No, there might be. Okay. I can show you the world 9-11 Tumbling Tumbling planes Tumbling towers Oh no dude Did we just find out That this was I can show you the world Trade centers Shining Shimmering Splendid They were You tell me princess Now when did you last Let your heart decide

48:42Khalyla Kuhn:I can open your eyes To the fire Take you

48:47Bobby Lee:Wonder by wonder One by one Wonder Wonder

48:50Khalyla Kuhn:Two wonder Two wonders of the world

48:52Bobby Lee:Over sideways And under

48:54Khalyla Kuhn:Which is the third building

48:55Bobby Lee:It They hit the Pentagon. It went sideways, right? Wow.

48:58Khalyla Kuhn:Oh, okay. And what happens when that happens? A whole new world. A new fantastic point of view. Point of view because there's nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one. Osama was right.

49:11Bobby Lee:Or say we're only dreaming. A whole new world. Dazzling place I never knew. Well, we figured it out. Yeah. We cracked your code, Aladdin.

49:19Khalyla Kuhn:Undescribable feeling.

49:20Bobby Lee:Yeah, it's got to be. I imagine. Yeah. Every turn a surprise. It sure was. It sure was. that's crazy dude well we cracked the code and i'm a little upset that we cracked it that easy i'm not every conspiracy theorist by the way online i'm so sorry is sunk flat earth you mean conspiracy theorist one of my favorite games donkey kong unbelievable and that old man in the chair cranky kong yeah donkey kong was probably one of the beyond super mario brothers it was one of the games that i wanted to conquer the most i wanted to beat all the levels of donkey

49:54Khalyla Kuhn:the new one is so good from last year what is it on what system switch to so you would memorize when to jump and timing 100 that's what it is donkey kong i was obsessed bonanza it's you can rip apart the levels you like oh you you can you just destroy everything yeah it's kind of tight yeah i never i know it's never good at pac-man pac-man it's a panic it's anxiety it's anxiety it's like you're like stuck in a corner

50:23Bobby Lee:what does it say on our sign Baff Reigns Baff Reigns hey Baff Reigns hey how do that guy from Baff Reigns

50:32Khalyla Kuhn:I get that a lot

50:35Bobby Lee:where's Bobby I don't fucking know what did that guy do at the shoot he goes my friend loves you that's like one of the funniest insults It's like such a funny, hey, but my buddy loves you. Can I get a photo? My buddy loves you. I'm like, okay.

50:51Khalyla Kuhn:Oh yeah, I hate it.

50:51Bobby Lee:And they're like, I don't care about you at all, but my buddy loves you.

50:54Khalyla Kuhn:Or yeah, sometimes you're at a place and they go, let me send a photo to my buddy because he loves you.

50:59Bobby Lee:Yeah.

51:00Khalyla Kuhn:Well then just send a photo of me then. Take a picture of me. Yeah, because I know it's because of you that you want the photo.

51:05Bobby Lee:Yeah, it's, you know, I, yeah. You think they're being, you think they're being, why would they not just say it's them?

51:11Khalyla Kuhn:Ego. They want a big dog. Yeah. I'm getting a lot of like dinner interruptions too Maybe it's a sign of getting more famous Oh shut the fuck up Like you haven't reached any Like you're not at a peak yet So you're getting recognized

51:25Bobby Lee:I mean that is what it is Yeah Obviously you're getting recognized more I'm not

51:29Khalyla Kuhn:It's like I don't even go What? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? Fine you're not famous Whatever who cares It's relative Everything's relative Yeah it's like

51:41Bobby Lee:What the fuck are you talking about?

51:42Khalyla Kuhn:What are you talking about guys?

51:43Bobby Lee:You just said I'm getting a lot of dinner interruptions. Like you're fucking Frank Sinatra. No, I'm not. Getting a lot of dinner interruptions. I can't just get out and smoke and eat with the broad out at night.

51:56Khalyla Kuhn:I did it my way. No, I get like a. I did it my way. Yeah. I'll get this. Hey, man, my friend dared me to take a photo with you. Is that right? I know you're I'm interrupting dinner and I'm like all right and I'll do it you won't do it

52:17Bobby Lee:if I'm at dinner with you no anybody if I'm at dinner with my wife I would say please don't interrupt dinner with my family if you're on a date with your girlfriend I think it'd be cool to not interrupt the date with your girlfriend but if it's with like people and friends yeah I don't give a shit but it's like you're with your significant other it's kind of like I'd like them just a meal with my wife but if I'm with you and I yeah we'll take fucking fuck I don't give a shit

52:38Khalyla Kuhn:No, I do it every time. Yeah, I do it with ballets.

52:42Bobby Lee:But it's hard for your girlfriend then because then they have to stand there and then it just feels weird. But if it's just friends, I don't give a shit. She takes the picture.

52:47Khalyla Kuhn:No, I think she likes the fact that I'm so generous with my thing. No.

52:54Bobby Lee:I think it just interrupts an intimate moment that you might be having.

52:57Khalyla Kuhn:I do have a little smirk when I do it. Maybe it's a little cocky thing. Yeah, of course. It's you. It's your ego. Hey, can I take a photo? I'm like, excuse me. I did it my way. I always stand it. I do it my way. I always stand Do a pose You're Chang Sinatra Over here Yeah You really are I'm Chang Sinatra You're Chang Sinatra Yeah But yeah I do Maybe I do ham it up What? Yeah you go to Dantana's Yeah you go to the spots Where it's gonna happen too I do If you go to those In the door Yeah There's this one Italian restaurant I think it's like Hey thanks for taking care of me Yeah

53:31Bobby Lee:Oh Chang Sinatra's here

53:32Khalyla Kuhn:There's this one restaurant Where you make reservations It's over like Way on the west coast Not like on the um west side west side i mean west coast it is the west coast it is west coast and there is they're known to have paparazzi there elefante i think that is it elefante yeah yeah that's like paparazzi

53:50Bobby Lee:yeah it's like yeah it's like what the ivy used to be or whatever it's like where they where they

53:54Khalyla Kuhn:you know they're gonna be and so i i know i've never gotten like snap snap snap snap right and ended up in tmz or whatever right but in this particular situation i was on a day this way before the girlfriend I have now. And she's like, yeah, I can't live this lifestyle. I go, this never happened.

54:10Bobby Lee:It happened though. Yeah. I laughed so hard, dude. One time we were walking. That was it. Oh, wow. Yeah, look how fat I was. Is that the restaurant? Yeah, it looks like you ate the whole fucking place.

54:23Bobby Lee:I tried everything. Yeah. Dude, I look terrible. What does it say? It says, Bobby, Bobby whole menu Lee steps out for dinner with a female companion. On a rainy night in LA. That was it. What year was that? Two years ago. You're fucking wet and fat. That's tough. Dude, I was so fat back then. Look at how good looking you look now, dude. You little skinny. Look at us now, you and I now. Wow, look at how sexy. Sexy boys. Yeah, yeah. Dude, one time I was leaving Nobu Malibu and they were taking pictures of like a celebrity and it was like, I don't know who was coming out. I couldn't see. Yeah. And it was like, and I was like, what the fuck?

54:55Bobby Lee:What's going on over there? And the guy, a photographer, I can see like turns and looks at me and goes, hey, what's up? And I was like, hello. And then right back to taking pictures of whoever. oh no no it's fine i was just like i'm not whoever it is is famous i was like yeah the camera guy was like he's like oh hey man whoever somebody real a photo that could make them money

55:15Khalyla Kuhn:yeah but you can be actually um you can like talk to them and be like and negotiate into what into like don't like i'll get off a plane at the lax and some guy with a camera will come how do you think of a new controversy that happened tmz is that yeah and i always go hey Hey, dude, come on. I know it. We know each other for a long time. Because, yeah, I'm so tired right now. Because I get it, buddy. I get it. And then they just won't. You know what I mean?

55:39Bobby Lee:There's a way to negotiate. It's funny. They try to catch people off guard. Eric Andre Hansel is the best. He's always just like mean or weird to them. He's always weird. And it works. Every time it works. Like what? Let me talk about it. Do a clip of him. It's amazing. Like Eric Andre with TMZ. He's like, he just bullies them back. Unless now he's being nice because he's promoting a movie. that's what it looks like it would yeah of course now there's one there was one of him getting a car and he just kept asking weirder questions back to the guy like the guy was like eric what do you think about this a controversial thing he's like do you like gelato or ice cream more to the cameraman that's so good yeah just bounce it back to him yeah then it's like a moot point

56:23Khalyla Kuhn:that's it that's just them leaving that's good good clip dude what the fuck it's eric andre just walk into a car. He rolled up. What are you getting angry for? What are you getting angry for? Sorry, I shouldn't have insulted you and Mr. Andre. Whoa, dude. You know what? He's famous. What about this?

56:42Bobby Lee:Not say anything. I do like this. Carlos, Luz, if something's building up, let it rip. I did immediately. Yeah. No, but I mean, what else is going on that I feel like something's drumming up a little bit?

56:52Khalyla Kuhn:No, I'm pretty open with you, Andrew.

56:54Bobby Lee:I know you are, but is anything rumble bumbling right now? Between us?

56:57Khalyla Kuhn:I think we're good. Yeah, yeah. You got me an iced coffee. Yeah. I owe you money for that. Yeah, you do. Yeah, okay. That might be it. He wants it. Is that the money? I'll give you that. I'm not rumbling about money. He's fine. What's the anchor about then? He's not. You know what it was? I snapped at you because you were insinuating that I was bad at my job when I made a mistake. I did hear that.

57:18Bobby Lee:When? I heard just now, seconds ago.

57:21Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah. It can make you insecure when your boss makes fun of you in front of your fucking coworkers. I know but we asked for a video of Eric Andre Responding with Pretty hard to find a video of Eric Andre And the paparazzi considering he's not even remotely Close to like Timothy Chamolais Like have more famous friends Okay so can I ask you this then Ask me anything I shouldn't have said anything No you know what I shouldn't have said anything Or you should have found good footage Again It would have taken me more than five seconds Considering We could edit the fuck out of this thing You know what I mean?

57:54Khalyla Kuhn:We could give it. No, no, no. Australia is gonna be so fun. If I had taken more than 10 seconds, you would have been like, where's the fuck?

58:02Bobby Lee:Oh, whoa, whoa.

58:09Khalyla Kuhn:Wow.

58:13Khalyla Kuhn:Here's another thing that Jules does that drives me crazy about my animals. What? Is, so Esther Povinsky. Yeah. For the other day, oh, I wanted to bring this up. The other day, I woke up Saturday morning to hearing children play in my backyard. Ugh. I know. Okay. What a terrible, it's like birds is worse. I mean, as bad. But it was children playing in my backyard.

58:39Bobby Lee:So like joy was going on and it was - There's pure joy going on. It pissed you off.

58:41Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah. I walk in and there's three babies in my backyard, in my pool. Esther's kids. Two of Esther's kids and Kalilah's kid.

58:49Bobby Lee:Okay. Everybody you know has a key to his house. Yeah, everyone knows. Literally. Everyone can come in. the fucking the key maker was like I can't keep copying this key

58:57Khalyla Kuhn:there's 30 of them out there so I got in my swim trunks my girlfriend came out I'm swimming there's a swimming teacher there too

59:07Bobby Lee:they fucking hired a full like a full on swimming

59:10Khalyla Kuhn:what do you own the YMCA what's going on at your house and I sat there and out loud I said there's just too much joy here it was pleasant right but if it's If I had the responsibility of the kids, I don't think I would be as joyful because there's a lot of, hey, hey, don't, hey, don't,

59:30Bobby Lee:don't go there. You're not a, hey, hey, da, da, da, da guy. You would just let them do whatever the fuck they want. Yeah, eat the dog poop. Yeah.

59:37Khalyla Kuhn:Like the kids pick up stuff. Let them do it. Yeah, and it's like, but the responsibility to do that, I just, it would be stressful. It's heavy. It's heavy.

59:46Bobby Lee:But sometimes if you let the kid eat the dog poop, then they turn out like McCone. They figure it out eventually. Yeah, they figure it out, yeah. you know sometimes they figure it out yeah i bet you fancy's childhood was very very like don't don't don't don't don't it was look at him wasn't it you got yelled at a lot a lot yeah macone was well maybe if you want to eat the dog poop and explore that's okay if it's gonna if it's gonna

1:00:05Khalyla Kuhn:open up your mind that's good yeah he was babied like that you know that yeah you see his parents and that's why he treated him like a king pork bitch like a soft pork bitch okay dude sorry why Why are you killing that guy today? I'm sorry, I love you, man. Here's one thing that I missed though in life is Esther's kid went to Dave, you know, Dave King.

1:00:26Bobby Lee:Yeah, his husband, his dad?

1:00:29Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, and the kid goes, daddy hold me, right? And he's, I'll hold you. Chinese, little baby. No, no, no, no, no. It's a baby. Daddy hold me. That's better. Thank you. That was a white baby. That was a white baby. Yeah. You betcha. That's a white baby. That's a yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he grabbed the baby and, you know, he's teaching the baby to swim. And I'm like, this is so cute. Maybe I'm missing out in a whole. Yeah. New world. You are, but you'd have way less money. Aladdin.

1:00:59Bobby Lee:Yeah, you and I didn't have kids. And that is a thing that we miss.

1:01:04Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, but it's a, I just feel like it's too much of a responsibility for me.

1:01:09Bobby Lee:Maybe, I don't know. I think you'd be a great dad. So I don't think it would matter. I think you would learn. I think you'd be so much fun. it would, you would just be a different guy. You'd be a different Bob. Daddy, there's a ghost in my room.

1:01:22Khalyla Kuhn:And you're like, oh God.

1:01:23Bobby Lee:Well, don't bring it in my room. Yeah, yeah. And then you got to check underneath the bed. I think that's fun. That's cute. And then you make up a game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you killed the ghost, you took care of it. Oh yeah. Like I got the ghost out. I went and got him.

1:01:34Khalyla Kuhn:There's a boogeyman. And then I have my wife, you know what I mean, go check. And then I'm the boogeyman.

1:01:38Bobby Lee:Girlfriend.

1:01:39Khalyla Kuhn:I dress up in the thing. Yeah, see? Yeah. So then you become stronger. Isn't that fun though? It's fun.

1:01:44Bobby Lee:See, that's good. It's a good time. Like, did your wife ever come in there and say, hey, I need you for something in your middle of cutting?

1:01:50Khalyla Kuhn:Sometimes, but not. What would she ask for?

1:01:53Bobby Lee:Help of any kind. Yeah. Like what? Hey, we have a child. I need help with literally anything. Like what?

1:01:59Khalyla Kuhn:Like get the baby to sleep.

1:02:00Bobby Lee:Why can't she do that?

1:02:01Khalyla Kuhn:Exactly. That's what I say. Wow. Yeah, yeah. You do that. Exactly. That's that Latin lover she loves. Yeah. I would do like, you know what I mean? You gotta drop You know what I mean Timmy off at baseball practice At 7 in the morning You're not doing that I am doing that You would hire someone to do it No I would do it But then I would be like But you're picking him up You Because I'm gonna sleep When I get back home You wouldn't do that You just pay someone to do it Pay who? There's drivers

1:02:31Bobby Lee:What do you mean? Yeah Carlos

1:02:32Khalyla Kuhn:I'm not taking care of your fucking kid

1:02:34Bobby Lee:I'll give you money

1:02:34Khalyla Kuhn:I don't need money that bad

1:02:37Bobby Lee:That is so funny He just shut it down Dude you're so rude No

1:02:41Khalyla Kuhn:I don't wanna You're being so rude right now. Pick up my kid, Timmy. That's insane. Fuck Timmy. Whoa. What about you, McCown? I'd pick him up. Yeah. Timmy's a little bit. In his little bacteria car. No, no, no.

1:02:53Bobby Lee:I'd get you a new car.

1:02:54Khalyla Kuhn:You'd have to. Timmy would die in that car. Timmy would die in that car.

1:02:57Bobby Lee:Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll make him stronger. It'll smell like this. Timmy will be trapped underneath like a box of old merch and a Chick-fil-A bag. Yeah. How did the kid die? Under bad friends' hoodies?

1:03:09Khalyla Kuhn:and then if you watch the baseball game your timmy's baseball game yeah go to t-ball game

1:03:13Bobby Lee:you gotta cheer you have to cheer but you're not really cheering only when they look at you

1:03:19Khalyla Kuhn:oh yeah i'm watching daddy's watching what if we're being honest yeah we did that is a little

1:03:23Bobby Lee:thing we still could we could adopt you and i we could adopt a kid you know how about this how about we adopt a kid and we time share it like it's a condo no you haven't how much is can you

1:03:32Khalyla Kuhn:adopt i'm googling it already with my quick skills okay god he's on one today which color do you want

1:03:37Bobby Lee:$40 ,000 to$70 ,000 to adopt. That's how much it costs to get a kid? Foster care is the most affordable route, often $0 ,000 to$2 ,000. Private, domestic, infant, and international adoption typically run$40 ,000 to$70 ,000. That's how much is to get the kid transferred to your house? Unless you adopt from a foster care, which is $0 ,000 to$2 ,000. Oh, that would do that. Foster care. Yeah.

1:03:57Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah, but those are rampant with scams, usually. Yeah, but if I go to a legitimate... What are you talking about?

1:04:03Bobby Lee:What if you get a 30-year-old?

1:04:05Khalyla Kuhn:You got Brad. Oh, like that movie Impostor. You ever see that movie?

1:04:08Bobby Lee:Yeah, it's more fun. That documentary? That girl was incredible. Oh, another one just came out about a girl that kept going back to high school. Did you see that?

1:04:16Khalyla Kuhn:Never been kissed?

1:04:17Bobby Lee:No, no. It was a news article. It's not a movie yet. A girl kept going back to high school and lying in different cities and stuff like that. And she was like 26 years old and a senior in high school.

1:04:28Khalyla Kuhn:Impostor was a bit worse. You know that documentary? I know.

1:04:30Bobby Lee:I know. I'm just saying, but this is a real story that just happened as well. Yes. Okay. People still trying to pull this shit off is wild. It's wild. What is it? A girl keeps, she kept going back. They just kept finding.

1:04:42Khalyla Kuhn:What does she look like? Well, I want to see what she looks like.

1:04:44Bobby Lee:Kay Klassman, 28-year-old woman who was arrested for enrolling in a Bronx high school opposing a 16-year-old student. 28 years old. And pretended to be 16. And she did it multiple times in different districts. That's her.

1:04:56Khalyla Kuhn:I would buy it.

1:04:58Bobby Lee:16? That girl's not 16 years old?

1:05:01Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah.

1:05:02Bobby Lee:That's crazy. 28 years old. Here's the saddest part. She didn't do it for any nefarious reasons. She's just sad and lonely and missed her childhood. That's so fucked up and dark. It's not like -

1:05:16Khalyla Kuhn:Why would you want to go to the worst place imaginable? High school was the darkest years of my life.

1:05:22Bobby Lee:She was probably bullied and she wants - So was I. I don't want to go back. No, she wants to make up for the years that didn't work for her probably. It's sad. Yeah. By the way, that's another movie. What? Bobby goes back to high school To make up for all the times you were bullied And everything now you're the cool king The guy becomes a famous podcaster and comedian Goes back to high school And is the king again

1:05:42Khalyla Kuhn:Like 22 and a half jump straight

1:05:44Bobby Lee:Back to school was incredible That was so he could get a degree

1:05:50Bobby Lee:22 and a half jump straight They did 21 and a half They did it They did it already Back to school was such a good movie

1:05:58Khalyla Kuhn:He goes back to college right yeah okay with his son oh but with the son they put a hot tub in his dorm room yeah that's a funny dangerfield's the man he's the man downey jr's in it

1:06:08Bobby Lee:oh that's right right i forget he's like the cool art guy that was before he like uh really slid off into the yeah into the midst what a comeback story ramus told a story about caddyshack on day one that the dp set up a shot and he had got to set and they were like all right let's go and ramus was like let's uh i think we should be shooting this way and the dp was like what yeah he's like what about over there he's like because everything is right there and he turned and he was like yeah we could shoot that that way too that's totally fine yeah like he they were so fucked up and out of it they were just every day they partied all day every day and then they had storms in florida while they were filming so they would just coop up in a hotel and just do drugs all day all night and they're like we got to film in a day or two That's crazy And also they would get real money Yeah dude

1:06:58Khalyla Kuhn:And half of it would be spent on cocaine Drugs That's awesome We miss those days Let's make that kind of movie Yeah dude I'll relapse We would naturally just I'm gonna relapse to do a movie A drug movie

1:07:10Bobby Lee:No you're not

1:07:11Khalyla Kuhn:Yeah let's do it

1:07:13Bobby Lee:Fine Yeah

1:07:15Khalyla Kuhn:Let's remake Jaws with cocaine Yeah

1:07:18Bobby Lee:That's a big fish

1:07:20Khalyla Kuhn:And I'm just chewing on shrimp Coquitin shrimp Just grinding into my teeth

1:07:28Bobby Lee:The boat never leaves the port We just do blow on the boat

1:07:31Khalyla Kuhn:For like five days straight and never leave Meanwhile he's killed a thousand Tourists

1:07:39Khalyla Kuhn:And hence the beginning of the movie The Amber Alert The kimchi alert begins

1:07:45Bobby Lee:Alright thank you for being a bad friend

1:07:51Woo-hoo, yeah, woo-hoo, yeah, woo-hoo, yeah.