Merv: A movie about a dog should be a slam dunk for Christmas. Right?

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0:49Ho, ho, ho, hello and welcome back to the final episode this year of Bah Humbug. the Christmas movies podcast that is giving all of these films exactly the care and attention they deserve. And you can take from that what you will. I am delighted to be joined today by Cat Brown. Hello, Cat. How are you doing? Hello, Helen. As we slink towards the new year and the end of 2025, my slinking has been stymied by some kind of mysterious virus. So I'm literally in the manner of Tiny Tim. Coming to you from my sickbed. But delighted to be with you. Well, God bless us, everyone. I hope you raise from your dead, from your dead, from the dead and the bed in the near future in time for Christmas.

1:30We are going to be talking today about Merv. Now, Merv is not a title that screams Christmas movie in the manner of several this year. Goodbye June did not scream Christmas movie to me, nor did Pillion. And yes, they are all Christmas movies. This one stars Zooey Deschanel and Charlie Cox as a recently broken up couple who now share custody of their beloved dog, Merv. And Merv is shuttling back and forth week on week between the two households, but is becoming increasingly depressed by the need for such and clearly misses the good old days when his owners were together. So one thing leads to another.

2:07Charlie's character takes him on a holiday to Florida in the hope of raising his dog's spirits. And much to everyone's surprise, Zoe's character joins them there. I'm calling them Charles and Zoe because I don't remember their actual names. Not a clue. Not a clue at all. No, I'm going to look it up. I'm going to have them in front of me from here on. OK, so Charlie Cox actually plays Russ and she is Anna. There we go. And Merv is Merv and Merv is a dog and is therefore 14 out of 10. This is all directed by Jessica Swale, who is a proper director who has made proper films. She made Summerland with Gemma Arterton a couple of years ago, which is a really lovely romance.

2:42This is, I don't know. This is a film with people in it. It happened in front of me. I like the people. It has a dog. It has a dog. It has Charlie Cox doing a British accent, which is not something that goes without saying. No, and he was brilliant. I think, did he get some chances to improv in it? Because it just felt that when he was allowed to go off and be very silly, suddenly I was watching a film that I had chosen to watch, as opposed to just a series of events that had been filmed for posterity. That's it, isn't it? This doesn't feel like a, this is not a slam dunk as Christmas movies this year go.

3:17I thought I had trouble concentrating on it. Now, I was wondering, is that me? You know, it's been a tough road to Christmas. The last few weeks I've been mentally there, but sadly not physically there because I still had much work to do. But if you're saying it too, I think it might be the film. I tested it just to see if it was like this weird fourth plague or something, but immediately going back and rewatching Your Christmas or Mine, which I really enjoyed and chatted with you about a couple of years ago. No, no, it's literally just this film i think thinking of concentration i spent more time in this film wondering why on earth zoe deschanel's makeup artist had given her completely the wrong makeup for her color palette and why she had sort of been directed to be a little bit like sarah jessica parker's character in the family stone which is not why we watch zoe deschanel i mean we didn't need elf sort of revisited and repurposed for 2025 but like there was just nothing to her character apart from She does eye tests.

4:15Woo. Yeah. It takes a really long time into the film before you get anything that might make you even vaguely sympathetic to her character, which I think is maybe a little bit of a mistake. Because as far as we basically join the film with Russ being very sad. And I'll be honest, he seems more depressed than the dog when we meet them. And therefore, one is inclined to think, oh, poor Russ, how difficult this must be for him. And that does more or less remain the case through the film. Poor Russ. It has been difficult for him. Life has dealt him a tough hand in this one respects. And he is very unhappy about the breakup of his relationship.

4:52And you're really not clear for a really long time why she would break up with this perfectly nice man with his nice English accent and his obvious love of their shared dog. And it takes a really, really, really long time, like I say, to get to her reasoning, which is... Almost as if they made it up at the last minute because they needed a reason and didn't have one. It does feel very tacked on. And I, you know, I didn't know what this was. I mean, we can talk spoilers here. But so it is basically it was a fertility struggle, which I did not know. I'm sorry. When I assigned this film to you, I was going on the basis of cat has a dog that she loves.

5:26So do the characters in this film. But it turns out to be relevant to one of your books as well, because it is about the terrific pressure and personal and relationship all that, you know, that infertility can put on two people. But also, you know, by that point, you've probably checked out of the film already because it's so little, so late. Well, that's it. I mean, it is a very heavy topic to just randomly slop in. And it is slopped, like God bless it, pretty much everything in this film. The very fact that Charlie Cox's character is called Russ, which is the least English name ever. The only other Russ I know, apart from noted sex pervert Russell Brand, is an awful man called Russ who was briefly on The Archers for a while, which I am, for God knows what reason, completely obsessed.

6:11But I love that they also gave Charlie Cox's now English character, Russ, just an absurd series of tweed suits, as though they'd all been watching films in the 60s and behaved accordingly. Because from the off, you've got not only Merv's vet going, oh, usually I can predict when people have broken up and, you know, you guys didn't go off those vibes at all, to the fact that even when they are literally chatting to each other, there seems to be no good reason for them to have broken up. And I mean, you know, yes, having been through the absolute crap show that is infertility, childlessness, all of that sort of stuff myself, and, you know, not just myself, but my fucking husband, there's just no sense of a relationship where they've had to have these incredibly difficult conversations.

6:55The impression that you get is that Zooey Deschanel's character found out that she couldn't have children and then just decided to run away and leave which is you know god bless it just not something that happens it perhaps would have been more interesting if they had addressed her age at all because I mean how old is she she's about 45 and the fact that that sort of doesn't come up at all it's just that's almost like a little bit of extra cloud cuckoo land because when you're trying to have kids you sort of become unfortunately very aware of literally every part of your life and body I spent a long time thinking about how much I'd smoked in my 20s and wondering how much, well, that and booze and God knows everything else as well.

7:39I wondered how much my love of sugar had sort of impacted on my fertility. And the fact that nothing there is sort of discussed makes like, well, why have you put this storyline in there? This is mad. Just focus on the dog. There wasn't, if anything, there wasn't enough Merv in Merv. Presumably, if you're watching this, you're there for the dog. You're there for the idea that this relationship i think the premise is solid the relationship has led the dog to become depressed and the two owners who still love the dog are trying to cheer the dog up that is a solid comic movie that's all you need and i feel like the dog gets lost yeah which is so sad because he's also incredibly well trained like the shots that they get of him i mean i think the director is also a playwright i dimly remember from some like cold fuel Googling whilst watching it, probably to try and distract from the actual film I was watching.

8:32But she's got a wonderful way of getting these fantastic close up moments that are very theatrical. You get lovely response shots of Merv's expressions. The timing is great. There's another dog later in the film who's also given some wonderful things to do. But again, we don't discover anything about Merv's backstory or what he likes or we're told. There's a lot of tell not show about his, you know favorite things and whatnot but there's no sort of relationship between any of them and that's basically all you want all you want to see is scenes of Merv running around and having a lovely time whereas ironically we get more scenes of Charlie Cox running around trying to give Merv a lovely time particularly when they go off to Florida than if anything else and which is lovely and Charlie Cox potentially this was filmed fairly close to Daredevil because that man does not have a dad bod unless that dad is literally daredevil.

9:27I had questions about that. Like the Russ we are shown does not have that body. Like the Russ we are shown is a depressed man who is living in, frankly, a pit and eating junk food and hasn't done any exercise in months. Like he definitely has not been to the gym like that. I would put money on that. Yeah, this is not a body that even like eating junk food whilst also taking a high dose of Manjaro could give you. No, this man has been doing push-ups. Like there is no question about that. And I'm not saying that Charlie Cox should have put himself through the method for Merv, but it does somewhat stretch our disbelief, I think, a little bit.

10:07And I also just think when they get to Florida, there's way too much else going on. I just want to see the two of them and the dog. I wanted like more dog stuff and the two of them kind of working through their issues via the dog. You know, the bit where they're talking about she's claiming Merv doesn't like the beach and he's going, you don't like the beach. We don't know if Merv doesn't like the beach because we didn't go because you didn't like the beach. That's an interesting thing that they could have then kind of had more fun with that kind of stuff, it feels like. And instead, we have a whole subplot where he meets an influencer dog and they have a whole influencer dog thing.

10:42and we go and visit his parents who are for some reason actually nearby. And it just felt like... Which is only mentioned when they go to go and visit them. Oh, yeah, I just remembered that my parents live really close to this place that I flew for hours to actually come and visit. The parents, again, that sort of gave me slight family stone vibes because his mother was so cross with Zooey Deschanel slash... Oh, Anna, thank you. Thank you, Helen, for reminding me what this complete non-character of a person is called. because she just clearly seems to hate her. And Anna is clearly expecting her to hate her.

11:17But no, it turns out that actually they used to get on like a house on fire, which makes no sense given what we have literally just been shown and told. And there are presents for them that are really thoughtful and lovely and instantly made me feel hugely guilty about my own Christmas shopping, which is last minute and very scrappy. Oh, apart from Helen, I do actually have a gift for you, which I'm going to have to present now over Zoom. Amazing. This is by Happy Toast, who is a graphic designer who I love and follow on Blue Sky. And he has done, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Jaws, a retelling of The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

11:53But it's The Very Hungry Great White Shark. That is incredible. I was not aware this existed and I am instantly enchanted. Oh, my God. I saw it. I feel like it will be a lovely thing for you to read to your nibblings over the years. hopefully it will become like a Christmas institution despite there being nothing Christmassy about it apart from overeating and, you know, the slight chances of death. But yes, as soon as I am physically able to get this to you, I shall. But Merry Christmas, my friend. And thank you for all of the wonderful podcasting and film chats and also all of the crap films that you have watched on all of our behalves.

12:32Including Merv, sadly. But yes, your present is waiting at home for Twixtmas since I got sick last weekend when we were supposed to see each other. And it's been that time of the year, hasn't it, really? Yeah, I just want to move all socialising into January and February when I have nothing to do and I'm ironically much healthier. That seems like the way to go. Tell me this. I know you watched the film with your dog, Sybil. Yes. What did Wibbles think of the film? Wibbles' one brain cell was focused extremely hard on the outrage that always comes when there is another dog in her sitting room, despite the fact this fucking dog is on the television.

13:03so I prepared bribes which is basically like a mug of kibble so and then clicked every time she saw the dog and then she eventually got to the point where she turned to me every time she saw the dog got more kibble and then eventually she gave up and went to sleep there were a few moments of great outrage which saw her rising to her paws on the sofa and her tail swishing not unlike a great white shark actually um but I think the first television that I remember watching with her when she came to live with us was Bridgerton, at which point I discovered that Sybil was a Victorian prude who did not like sex scenes at all.

13:39This being apparently a family-friendly film, there is no sex in it, no spice, as the children of BookTok would say, but nor is there really any romance at all, not even between the owners and Merv. Later in the film, for reasons, just reasons of plot, Charlie Cox's character, Russ, goes back to the shelter from where they apparently got Merv in the first place and adopt another doggy, this one called Angelina. And again, no romance there. I saw more romance between dog and dog or dog and owner on the Dog House Christmas special, which I watched last night and is on Channel 4 if anybody needs to cry a lot whilst also feeling cheered.

14:20But again, lots of good dogs in this film. Just I'm not sure that I will ever watch this again, however good Charlie Cox's improv is. No, that's it. It didn't sing. I felt like, you know, especially in those last scenes where basically they meet while walking in the park, Russ with Angelina and Anna with Merv, because he has selflessly said, look, Merv will be happier with just one of us. You take Merv. And that was a very tough decision. I thought that was given appropriate weight and that was properly portrayed as a really real sacrifice on his part for the well-being of the dog. I thought that was nice but they shoot them in meeting again after some time has passed and some wounds have somewhat healed in this lovely kind of autumnal wood and I thought well this is meant to evoke When Harry Met Sally presumably unfortunately that's a much better film than this and RIP once again to the late great Rob Reiner but it is it's not a comparison that does this film any favours sadly and look again I love both these people these people you know Charlie Cox I know he's most known now to many people as Daredevil but probably the first time I came across him was in Stardust, where he plays something like this tone.

15:31He plays this very light, not quite fluffy, but just very light, comedic, romantic tone very, very well. Zooey Deschanel did it for, what, nearly a decade in New Girl, which is a beautifully judged sitcom and a beautifully judged character. Yes, she's the manic pixie dream girl, but the point of that show is that's really annoying sometimes. And that's a great thing to play. So they can both do better. And I just I wish they had in this case, sadly. Yeah, I don't think they were helped by any of the other factors, to be honest. I don't think this is just on them. They both do their best with what they're given.

16:11But if what you're given is sort of diametrically opposed to where you would be a great fit, there's only so much that you can do and the direction just feels a bit off the script is definitely off and even though there are these really lovely moments like when they're in Florida they randomly end up going dancing with some seniors aka people in their 60s and 70s who are fitter and better dancers than I could ever hope of being at the tender age of 43 it just sort of feels a bit of a waste and who doesn't want a lovely doggy at Christmas I will say that actually having a dog at Christmas can be a little bit challenging, particularly because a few years ago, I tried to take lovely Christmassy photos of Sybil to send to friends.

16:56And in every single one, she looked like I had just murdered not only her family, but everybody that she had ever loved. She just did big, sad seal eyes and looked deeply traumatised for the whole lot. So safe to say this is not her favourite season, nor where she thrives. She has a genre in which she thrives and it is gothic tragedy. OK, we just have to accept that about her. Yes, it is sadly true. I love, by the way, that dancing scene, I think, has a little bit of a visual nod to It's a Wonderful Life, which, again, is a much better Christmas movie. OK, so let's rank this. So your your points for its Christmassyness out of five.

17:32Just Christmassyness, not quality of film. Oh, you've just reminded me about something that desperately annoyed me, which is in that dance scene. they do like an homage to the lift from Dirty Dancing. And for God knows what reason, they've decided to film down on Charlie Cox. And they could have shot that literally anywhere. It's not as if Zooey Deschanel's in the flipping air. And the flooring is wrong for where they're standing. And it's like, I am an idiot with half a brain. It's December. I'm not very well. And even I can see that. Come on, some observation. So this is Christmassy in the sense that a lump of coal is Christmassy in the sense that getting the wrong tube of sweets in your stocking when you were a child is Christmassy, i.e.

18:12not really at all. Even the snow that we see in one of the parks looks like those awful giant blankets that used to be plonked down to try and pretend that Dawson's Creek was having snow. This is a one out of five for Christmassiness and that's really solely down to the absurd overwrapped presents that his mum gives them all when they just turn up at their house. It's hard to argue with that actually. I was going to go two, but you might be right. But look, it's Christmas. I'm going to be generous and say two. But I have been in Florida for Christmas, actually. And they really decorate the place.

18:46But even so, I feel like it's one of the least Christmassy places in America to go. You know, it's not a place that lends itself just because of its, you know, glorious sunshine. So I think a two out of five is about as good as we can go. And then quality of film. I feel like I know what the outcome will be here, but out of five for quality of film. I'm still going to go three, even though I've relentlessly slagged it off for the last however long, because honestly, I just think Charlie Cox and Zooey Deschanel are so wonderful, even when they are in a truly awful film. They're basically just like an old school tin of quality street, which it's not disappointing.

19:24It's filled with what you actually want. It's still weighed a kilo or a kilo point. Yeah, exactly. Back in the day, she says, like an old woman writing to the Daily Mail. I'm not quite sure where this metaphor is going, but they at least sort of kept me enjoying watching them. Even Zooey Deschanel with weird makeup decisions by her makeup artist and that sort of thing. And Charlie Cox's improv is lovely. Also, I would quite like to do at some point just press pause and look at all of his tattoos and perhaps find a long read about his tattoos because they all seem very interesting. And I'm sure they've got long and very interesting and intricate and probably quite personal stories behind them.

20:00But yeah, the actual rest of the film. Oh, my God. No, just scrunched up and chuck it in a bin. Fair enough. All right. I know you've been on the show before, so I think you've told me your favourite Christmas movie. Has that changed in the recent past? Have you still got the same favourite Christmas movie? I think it is because of simply having watched it more. But last year, and sorry, this is so basic, I showed my parents, Jane and Richard Brown, a Muppets Christmas Carol for the first time because we were all deprived in the 90s. Apparently, they've just never seen it. So my husband and I showed it to them on Christmas Eve.

20:34And unsurprisingly enough, they really enjoyed it. I do get that fear a little bit of showing my parents something new that they have not chosen themselves. But they just totally got it. And actually now I have with you many times and with friends watched it now enough that I almost am starting to know it by heart. And it has really become a part of me and my Christmas and my December in a way that I just never really anticipated it would because I came to it very late. Of course, the other one is the disassociation Christmas sequence from Grease 2, which is one of the most batshit, but also strangely festive moments in the December calendar.

21:18And which I could not recommend to anybody highly enough. If you perhaps are a bit sick of a post pitch perfect Christmas being depicted and thrown at you all through the season. Just get that up on Instagram. Get the film. Spot on. Perfect, amazing And any new Christmas traditions that you're doing this year that we need to know about? Only a really unfestive one, which is this year We just left it so late and we're away so often That actually we haven't got a Christmas tree this year We've only got a Christmas wreath You walk into the house and apart from Christmas cards There's not even the double issue Radio Times So thank goodness that we're going to my family for faux Christmas tomorrow If indeed we are safe to leave the house and then to Harry's family for actual Christmas.

22:06There was one perilous weekend where I thought I might have to do three Christmases in December because people are going to be away, but I'm afraid I had to sacrifice that. And so Harry went off instead. So not really Christmas traditions at all, but just actually it still feels like Christmas, even though I have not ticked all the boxes and put up all my decorations. And I think sometimes when there is a lot going on, And you need to acknowledge that, you know, the world is not going to fall apart if you don't tick everything off your list. And I think particularly if there are any people having to juggle the expectations of multiple people over this year, particularly this time of year, that's quite a good thing to remind yourself, really.

22:49Absolutely. Very wise words. Thank you very much. Kat Brown, where can people find more from you if they'd like to hear more? Please come to my sickbed, form an orderly queue in Streatham Hill. And I will, I don't know, shout croakily at you out of the window. Kat Brown writes on Instagram and Kat Brown on Blue Sky, which actually has been a very festive refuge from the awful fallout of X this year. So really enjoying that. And then my books, It's Not a Bloody Trend, which is about ADHD and adults. and no one talks about this stuff, which is about infertility grief and the gallows humour and otherwise that follows its essays by lots of people who are significantly wiser than me.

23:32And you can pre-order the audiobook if that is your bag. Amazing. Well, Kat, thank you very much. Get well soon and Merry Christmas. Ho, ho, ho. And lots of love from the very hungry great white shark. I cannot wait. Absolutely cannot wait.

24:07We'll be right back.

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