EP 32: 7 Reasons You Work Out Over 40 But Still Don’t Look "Toned"

0:00Welcome back to Becoming Her, Fitter, Better, and Stronger over 40. I'm your host and coach, Shauna. I'm 46, a boy mom, a wife, and a fitness and nutrition coach helping women over 40 become their best. Today, we're going to have an honest conversation, one that I know a lot of you need to hear because I was you. You're putting in the work, you're moving your body, you're lifting weights, you're doing all the right things, or at least you think so. But when you look in the mirror, you're not seeing that sculpted, toned body you thought would come with all of that effort. And you might be wondering, all right, what gives here?

0:28What am I doing wrong? Is this just what happens over 40? and I want to stop you right there and say no, your body isn't broken. You don't need to work harder. What you do need to do is work smarter. So today we're going to dive into seven big reasons that you are working out in your 40s but you don't look toned. These are the exact mistakes I made when I was stuck doing all the work but getting nowhere. And once I made these shifts, everything changed. My body, my energy, my confidence. I am now in the best shape of my life at 46 and I'm helping other women do the same and I want to help you too.

1:01So let's dive right into it. The first reason is you are exercising but not training. So let's start with this. It might sound like there's no difference, but there's a big difference between exercising and training. I know it might sound like semantics, but listen, it really is a game changer. Exercising is really doing random workouts. So it just means activity, which is great for your overall health, helping to increase your heart rate, maybe burning a few calories. You might pick something like a YouTube video. Maybe you join a class, a bootcamp class, or you're doing like a HIIT cardio session.

1:33You're moving, you're sweating, you're working hard, but there's really no strategy around it. Training, on the other hand, is different. Training means you're following a structured program. It means repeating the same lifts and same exercises week after week on purpose with the goal of getting stronger. That might sound boring, but that's where the magic happens and the results are far from boring. and that is how you build muscle. Muscle does not grow from variety. It grows from progression, from tension, from doing the same lifts with more effort over time. And muscle can't get toned. There are no exercises that are gonna tone your muscle.

2:10Muscle does two things. It can grow and it can shrink. How you look toned is that you build lean muscle and then when you have less body fat, you then reveal that lean muscle and that's how you look toned. But if you don't train, you can't grow that muscle and you won't look toned. That's what it's going to take. Muscles need training. So if you're exercising and not training, definitely need to start doing that. Now on to reason number two is that you're not lifting with intensity. So now let's talk about how you're lifting because that's just as important. If you're picking up dumbbells and you're going through the moves, but you're stopping too early or just choosing dumbbells that aren't challenging you, your body is not going to change.

2:51If it's not challenging you, it's not going to change you. If you want to look toned, you have to lift like you want to get bulky. And I know that sounds scary. Some of you probably just cringe, but I promise you getting bulky is not going to happen by accident. What you actually want is muscle definition. And that comes from training with intensity. That means when you finish a set, you should feel like you don't have another rep in the tank or barely a rep in the tank. If you finish your set and feel like you could have done five more reps, then you aren't using the right intensity. Your last two to three reps should feel hard.

3:28You should feel like, I'm not sure I can finish. That's how you know you're sending the signal to your body to grow. That's how you can look toned and sculpted. Now on to reason number three, which is that you are not applying progressive overload. This is the secret sauce to any successful training program is applying progression over time. This just means that you're doing more over time, more weight, more reps, more control. This is how your body knows to build more muscle. So if you're that woman who's using the 10 pound or the 15 pound dumbbells for the same reps every single week, but you're wondering why your body isn't changing, this is likely why, because it's not getting challenged.

4:07Your muscles will adapt. So you need to make it harder so that you're sending that signal for your body to change. Every couple of weeks, you want to be asking yourself, can I add a little bit more weight? Can I add some more reps? Can I slow the tempo and make it a little harder? That's progression and that's how you can grow your muscle. So track your reps, track your weight, make sure you're progressing on those week after week. Promise it's going to make a big difference in the results that you see. Now on to reason number four, which is that your diet is not aligned with your goals. Food is a big part of this equation and it might be the one thing that's holding you back the most.

4:44Now, looking toned means two different things, like I mentioned already, having less body fat and having more lean muscle. We just covered how to get more lean muscle, which is by training with a structured program, applying intensity, and applying progressive overload. But having less body fat comes from being in a calorie deficit. And sometimes having less body fat and getting more lean muscle require two different phases. To lose body fat requires being in a calorie deficit, meaning you're eating less calories than you burn so that your body can tap into those fat stores. You're also weight training during that time to send the signal to your body that you want to keep that lean muscle so it takes the energy that it needs from your fat and not your muscle.

5:27In order to build muscle, you need to eat enough calories, meaning you're at maintenance, maybe even slightly above, and then you're also continuing to weight train to send the signal to your body to build that lean muscle tissue. If you're always in a dieting phase, which so many women at 40 have been in since our 20s, and you're still trying to build muscle, it's not really going to work well. It's not optimal. You might just end up looking skinny fat, burned out, and feeling frustrated. That was me for decades. Maybe that's you right now. But this is why phasing your cycles and phasing your plan works so well.

6:03And this is what I teach women when I'm working with them. And it's what I have done to really make the biggest change with my body is to spend some time in maintenance so that you can upregulate metabolism, help your hormones, optimize your body to burn fat, put on lean muscle. Then you can spend some time in a fat loss phase and then you transition into maintenance. So each phase supports a specific goal and it does it in an optimal way. And that's how you can change your body in the most efficient and predictable way. All right, let's get into reason number five, which is that you are not prioritizing rest.

6:34I know more seems like it should be better, but it isn't, especially in our 40s. I used to train six days a week. I thought if I worked harder, I'd finally get that toned body and get the results that I wanted to. But the truth was recovery is where change happens. When you lift, you are breaking down muscle tissue. So your body needs to rest to rebuild that tissue so that you come back stronger. That's how you grow lean muscle and that's how you improve your body shape. If you're training every day, not sleeping enough, you're under eating, you're not giving your body a chance to really change.

7:08In fact, you might be making things worse. So take your rest days, make sure you're getting seven plus hours of sleep a night and have two to three days during the week where you're focused on recovery. You can do things like cardio, walk, stretch, hike, but make sure that you are allowing time for your body and your mind to recover. Instead of spending six days a week in the gym, spend three to four and then use that time that you would have been in the gym to support other goals that are going to help you with your overall fitness goals. So maybe that means one day you're planning out your meals for the week and another day you're prepping those meals.

7:44Remember at this stage of the game, it's all about working smarter, not harder. Now on to reason number six, which is that you're relying too much on cardio. And I'm cardio. Cardio is amazing for cardiovascular health, for your mental well-being, for your overall health, but cardio alone is not going to get you toned. Yes, it's great for your heart, it's great for your mood, but it does not build muscle. And without muscle, you cannot look toned. So if you're just running, you're just doing HIIT, you're doing your bootcamp classes, these are great things to get you active, but it's not going to help us when we're talking about transforming our bodies, looking sculpted, looking toned, and improving our metabolism.

8:22Lifting with intention is where that's going to happen. So use cardio as a supplement, but not a strategy. You can definitely walk, bike, hike, do what feels good to your body, but don't rely on it to transform your body. That comes from proper training and proper nutrition and staying consistent with those two things, which leads us right into our last reason. Number seven is that you're not staying consistent for long enough. And this is the toughest one. It is the toughest one, but it's the most important. I think so many of us give up on ourselves too soon. We'll start doing something for a few weeks, maybe for a month, and we're not seeing the progress that we want to.

9:02We think it's not working, and so we go back to the wheel. We try to find another workout, find another diet, find another approach. But real transformation takes months, sometimes years, especially over 40, and especially if you have spent years chronically dieting. You have to commit to the long game. You have to zoom out and remember why you started this. This is your life, your health, and it's worth the time and the effort. Consistency doesn't mean that you have to stay perfect either. It just means showing up even when it's not exciting, even when you feel like nothing is happening. It means trusting the process, especially when it feels slow.

9:41Because trust me, those small steps every day will have a compounding effect. and then one day you were gonna wake up and you were gonna see changes and you were gonna be so thankful that you didn't give up. And just remember that time is gonna pass either way. So you might as well be working towards the woman you want to become than wishing that you had stuck with it or started. And I say all this because I lived it. I was that woman who was overtraining, under eating. I wanted so badly to change my body and I couldn't understand why I looked the same year after year. Even if I lost, I'd gain it right back.

10:15But once I started to really lean on health and getting strong, training with intensity, phasing my nutrition, prioritizing rest, and staying consistent, everything changed. And at 46, I'm in the best shape of my life. But it didn't happen overnight. It happened because I stayed committed. I learned and I kept going. And now that's my passion is to help other women do the same. So I just want to pour that belief into you is that this is possible for you. You just need the right strategy, the right plan, and that mindset to stay in the game for the long haul. Stay consistent. Stay with it. Do not quit.

10:53The only way that you can fail is if you quit. So do not. Keep going. I hope this episode was helpful. And if it hit home, I invite you to take a look at my one-on-one coaching and apply if you think it's something that you need. I work with women who are ready to stop guessing and start transforming. So together, you and I map out your training, your nutrition, and your phasing plan in a way that's going to support your metabolism and teach you how to reach your goals, but then also keep them so that you're never having to start over again. Because you deserve to feel strong, to feel confident, and to feel capable in your body.

11:27And I'd be honored to help you get there. So I appreciate you spending some time with me on today's episode. I really hope you found it helpful. If you did, I would be so thankful. if you left a rating or a review. It just helps the show grow and reach more women like you who need to hear it. I appreciate you listening and spending time with me today, and I will catch you on the next episode.