EP 33: How Vicki Ate More, Weighed Less, and Got Stronger Over 40

0:00Hello and welcome back to Becoming Her, Fitter, Better, and Stronger Over 40. I'm your host and coach, Shauna. I am 46, a boy mom, a wife, and a fitness and nutrition coach helping women over 40 become their best. And today's episode is a very special one because I'm joined by one of my incredible former one-on-one clients whose name is Vicki. Vicki's journey is really a powerful example of what's possible when you stop chronically dieting and finally start fueling your body to thrive. When we first started working together, she had just finished a deficit where she was really successful. She had lost some weight and she was kind of stuck at 1500 calories.

0:37She wasn't sure what to do, what her next steps were. So we took her through a reverse diet and we were able to increase her calorie intake to 2300 calories. Not only did she not gain weight, she actually averaged less and her body composition improved. Her waist came in, her energy was better, her digestion was better, her sleep. and she just felt a million times better. Now she's continuing her journey inside my monthly workout membership. She's staying strong, she's staying consistent, and she's feeling more confident than ever. So we're going to talk about what made her take the leap into one-on-one coaching, what it was like working through a reverse diet, and how she's feeling now, both physically and mentally.

1:18You're not going to want to miss this one because you're going to relate to her story so, so much, and I can't wait for you to hear all that she has to say. All right, Vicky, let's jump right in. Can we start just by sharing what made you reach out to work with me one-on-one back when we first started? Sure. I had originally had a coach online and she was great, but there was about a 20-year age difference between us. And I would say last year, I noticed that I was in a calorie deficit, about 1300 calories for a significant amount of time. And I realized my body, as a woman over 40, my body was really fighting against it.

2:04So when we didn't see eye to eye on things, and I think it was just not understanding, I think I found you on Instagram. and in the process like I had gone I had conversations with you and two other coaches and I felt that based on our conversation the fact that you were a woman in your 40s going through the same thing yeah and just based on the conversation I felt that it would be a good fit so that was when I decided to join you one-on-one awesome yeah and that was um I know you had just come out of like you had been in a deficit and you've had you had like a decent success story with with being in a deficit lost some weight but then we're kind of in this place of being plateaued not knowing kind of where to go um so and I think that was one of the first things we we decided to tackle was you know getting you into a reverse diet um I know you started with me kind of around 1500 calories um and then we went up yeah you slowly but surely taking you from there all the way to 2300 calories which was i think it surprised both of us definitely it was it was a big shock for me for sure yeah but on that way i know that sounds kind of scary i'm sure for someone listening but uh your weight maintained and even you averaged less some weeks i know your clothes started to fit differently.

3:32Your energy was different. Your sleep was better. So what was that process like for you, both mentally and physically? Because I know that's, you know, to hear a coach tell you, we're going to have you eat more after you've worked so hard to lose body fat, that's got to be scary. So talk about that a little bit. It was very scary. And there was so much in my mind that said no no no no no no this can't be right um but I trusted you so and it was slow like but I was like really surprised like each time we increased I was like no no this is good and there was parts of me that was like no it should go back down this is just it was almost like my mind was telling me that increasing calories was going to sabotage anything that I had done over the past time.

4:27And that it was just going, it was going to lead, it wasn't going to be positive. That's, I remember at the beginning. So it was really scary. But then I must admit that as we increased and things like didn't go to the extreme end that I thought they would go to, it kind of made me more curious to like sort of like I remember telling you no no I'm okay let's increase like it was almost like I wanted to see what my body would do because each time it did it did what I didn't expect so as we increased and as things like like the sleep the mood um everything like it just kind of fell into place so I was actually curious as we went on and knowing that that yes, if something happened, then either we stop at that calories, like we stopped there, we stay there.

5:25And I always know that there is a way to go back, like a deficit, like it is flexible. So I think that it made me it that would be the I would say at the beginning fear. But then as we went through, it really gave me a completely different perspective. Yeah. I mean, I think I remember you saying to me that this defies everything that I ever thought about eating and dieting. Because, you know, when you spend so long trying to eat little and you see that that does impact the scale go down, the body gets body fat. Then I think you get a lot of women get afraid to leave that space, not knowing that staying there can actually do us more harm than good.

6:10and definitely it does more I saw the doing more harm part so yes right and and then to know that you could trust your body and have have this strategy to slowly allow your body to upregulate to more calories while maintaining the weight that you worked so hard to lose um put you in this place I think where you could trust your body again you felt that freedom and you didn't feel like you were stuck just eating 1500 calories and not necessarily making progress anymore and that's the thing like because you do like you I you make progress and then okay like I had small in increases that like before but nothing going up that far and it would be an increase for a few weeks and then back down again right increase for a few weeks back down again and my like yes at the beginning it was great and then there were changes like I noticed but then I noticed that my body like it was my body telling me this is the this isn't enough for me yeah it isn't like enough and what surprised me the most especially was like when you when we've I remember when we started and you were like this much percentage fat and I was like that that really shocked me because I had no idea like okay yes I wouldn't I would have taken those out especially in a deficit because those are calorie but like when you were like no this much should be fat and you explained and I was like I was like I had no idea like that the things that so it it completely changed definitely freedom I would say freedom and to know that it's not like that your body does need more than you can stay like you can stay 1500 calories for a short time right but it's not meant to be long term right right it should be a means to an end and not a place to stay and like you're saying you know the body does require all three macronutrients so protein's important carb carbs are important and fats are important especially for women because it it will help us with our hormones and that's a vital force that's a vital piece of us feeling like we have enough energy Um, you know, like we are, our libido is there, our mental health is there.

8:28So, you know, having, having the right, you know, breakdown of nutrition and enough nutrition is so important. It's not, we forget, I think about the quality of nutrition and what that can do for us. You know, food isn't meant to be good or bad. It's really meant to help nourish you, help support you, help take care of you. And so when you spend a long period of time just dieting, we forget that. We forget that food is there to nourish us, to support us. And to stay fearful of it can really lead to some bad relationships with yourself, your body image, with food. um and so getting to a place where you have more flexibility with calories I think allows you to get to that place again where you can um trust yourself trust food and and start and you enjoy you enjoy eating again yeah like because before I was always protein protein protein and then whatever I could fit in and it was I knew when doing counting calories like doing meal like like in using the app or whatever, I knew, okay, I needed this, but there wasn't enjoyment in what I was eating.

9:38Like I was eating out of necessity. This is, I'm allowed to eat. But even the idea of adding something, like I remember looking at things and I'm like, is it worth the calories? Not worth the calorie. And it was always that constant counting. And when you increase, it gives you a lot more flexibility and freedom. Yeah. In what you're eating. A lot of times I like to compare calorie tracking and finances because I think they can, you know, it makes it make sense really. And so it's almost like, you know, when you reverse diet and you start to get into a place where you have more flexibility, it's like when you get that better job or you get, you know, you get some debt paid off and you finally have that wiggle room and you're just like, you get to exhale and you're like, okay, I don't have to count every single penny anymore.

10:25Or, you know, I can have, I can take a vacation or I can splurge on myself a little bit. So it allows you to really just thrive again. And like you said, you just have better biofeedback with everything, sleep, energy, all those things kind of come with having more nourishment, which is definitely so important. So after that, we kind of just really focused on you getting stronger. and the surprising bit I think for you and for me too was to see that while the scales stayed the same there was even a drop so what was that surprising to you and and was that helpful for you to see it was surprising as we like it was really surprising but it was extremely helpful yeah so it was extremely helpful because it showed that yes I know at some point like if increase in calories there does come a point where it can increase weight it can you know but especially with working out and doing that and seeing that wait a minute the increase in calories didn't didn't have the effect that I that I thought it would have so it actually it again it made it made sense of everything but it also made me see that this fear of calories the fear of you know going up and going especially I think once we got to 2000 yeah and then my body was still like and then it was it was like oh and then it almost made me like in hindsight think well what have I been doing to my body all of this time then yeah also was thinking I was like I haven't really been and especially as a woman over 40 I was like I definitely haven't been helping my body my body for at least like the because I think I was in that 15 between 13 to 1500 for at least for a year wow yeah and listen I'm not I mean they're like you said before there is a time and a place where you need a calorie deficit but to stay there indefinitely is where the trouble comes because everything starts to down regulate like your metabolism your slows down a lot your thyroid.

12:39Yeah. So, you know, you need to have, and you need to have a strategy to where you're using it as a tool, but then you're coming back to maintenance so that your body can thrive. And, you know, when you're in that chronic place of, of, um, dieting where you're eating less and less, you don't realize it, but your overall energy expenditure. Extremely low and the recovery after working out and it does definitely. So like even just your, your natural movement through the day decreases. So that decreases your calorie output. Um, you're, you're, you're not as strong in the gym. Um, your sleep starts to suffer.

13:16So all of these things improve as you're taking in more calories. So it really does start to help with fat loss and body composition. So it really sets you up to be in a great place once you do implement a deficit again, which I know that's what you're, you're doing now body is in a great place to to but it's not i think like again i should have started but due to other things but i think like the past since i've come back from my vacation i think between six sixteen six one thousand six hundred fifty yeah to under seventeen hundred but it It doesn't this time around, because it's a smaller amount, it doesn't seem like such a big.

14:00Like what is tracking the food? Like when I started, I was because to be honest, on vacation, I didn't really track that much. But when so when I sat down and I was like, oh, what's 1700 calories? And when I was doing it, like, OK, yes, I still get to have that small sweet. But overall, I didn't, except for maybe the amount, I didn't, I didn't have to take out foods that I would normally have. Right. Which is great because you were kind of maintaining at 1500 before and now your deficit numbers are 16 to 15 or 16 to 1700. So yeah, like I said, it just set you up to be in a much better place. Cause even like, I was really worried and then yes.

14:45and then even like going to the gym yesterday again getting going today like the fact that I did back to back there's no way before I would have been able to do back to back days at the gym right or even have that strength and then you know so yeah so it was it's going to the deficit isn't as scary as being in a deficit for such a long time because you know where you're going back to right and you know the purpose you know it's short it's not long term right and and it's just It's part of the process. And I think it's easier to stay committed to it when you know there's a container of time around it.

15:19Like if you put six to 12 weeks on something, you can stay focused for six to 12 weeks. If I tell you you have to be on something for endless months, you know, your adherence and your fatigue is gonna set in and that's when it becomes a little bit harder to maintain. It becomes a lot harder. And then you kind of, you start like, you kind of, you don't enjoy the process anymore. And then you start questioning it. Like what is the, why nothing, and especially when the longer you're in a deficit and you don't see results, then it's either I have to eat less or it's just what is the point of even doing this anymore?

15:58Right. Right. But there's a stress, you know, if you do it the right way, like you are now where you're phasing, you know, you're putting things into phases, then it allows you that time where you can focus on one thing, then go back to maintenance, give your, your mind, your body a break. And then you know that you can maintain whatever results you've gotten, and then go back into a deficit and kind of repeat the process, which, you know, I like to say it puts you in the driver's seat. I know a lot of women feel like they just don't have control of their body anymore. And so when you learn how to manage your nutrition, to support your goals, it puts you in that powerful, you know, that position of power, which is really encouraging, especially at this age.

16:37I think, you know, when things are changing and we feel like we don't have control anymore, getting those, you know, getting your hands back on the drivers, like the steering wheel is just, it's an amazing feeling to have. I agree, definitely. Yeah, so I know you were, we were working together as like, you were a one-on-one client and now you've transitioned into the monthly membership, which is great because I love continuing to stay in touch and hearing about how you are and how your progress is going. How do you feel like that's been helpful for you in terms of just continuing to, you know, make progress and stay on track?

17:11I think it was really helpful to do the one-on-one, especially given where I was coming from. And maybe a little bit longer one-on-one would have been ideal. But I also think that the tools, like that knowing that this is where, you know, what it is. and then for me I like the nutrition is something that either as you go with the one-on-one I learned a lot so you know what tracking is tracking that that part is you know for me I could probably I could have probably gone on my own to the gym like did my own workouts but it's nice to have the structure still yeah and to still have that support like to still have that support and especially with the monthly you know there is still that community there is that there is that community but and it's also that okay now we're going to change and I still get the explanation why what the workout is for what it does yeah and it's not me combing through google trying to make my own and questioning okay is this enough or because I know if I were to do a workout I know now less is more, but I could still see myself trying to do like 10 exercises and, and, okay, well, how many reps, how many, so it kind of takes, it lets the thing that I'm, that it helps a lot with that.

18:35And it still makes me accountable. Like, that's what I like about it. I know, okay, I'm, I'm, if I'm consistent, I go to the, I'm like, oh, this week, okay, this exercise, this workout, out and understand more about it the nutrition once you know then it's a little bit easier to do on your own but with the with the gym yes okay I could but either I would just stay in the same workouts we were doing or again I would get overwhelmed by researching yeah and then start to question okay well am I doing this right is this what I should be doing so it's actually I think it's a nice step continuation from going from one-on-one but still having that and for me it is the working out is the structure part that is most helpful oh yeah it's nice to not have to give mental bandwidth to to something you know we all have a lot that we need to you know keep our keep our um keeping our brains and manage you know with our jobs with our personal life so having one thing that you don't have to think about and you just plug in and and get your And I do it.

19:41And then exactly. And then and it's still and there's still an opportunity like in that group to ask questions to get, you know, and you also like I know with the coach with the group monthly thing, you also get to see other people. So like when it's one on one, it's you. Right. But then you kind of see what other people are. And you're like, OK, yes, yes. And so that's kind of nice as well. So I think that it's a nice, and it's also, it's just, yeah, I think it's that I'm still not at that point where I would be confident enough to plan my own workouts and know myself. I would research, research and get so overwhelmed.

20:21So it is nice to have that. And it is the accountability. So I'm okay. Yeah. The community has been really a nice piece. And all of you, I know, are really supportive and encouraging of each other, sharing tips and different things. So that's really nice to see. And it's a nice component of feeling like you're not alone on your journey. And so it's a good way to keep yourself going, keep stay motivated and just stay on track with things. yeah and it's not staying on track and knowing okay I did this work like and it's letting you see everything like I know for me sometimes I'll go in like the when you change the program I'm like okay what is it this week what is it this time okay tomorrow is and I'm mentally preparing myself to go and do this day so there's no ifs ands or buts I'm like okay and it's just it's not me what am I and it's also when you get to the gym I'm not thinking what am I going to do I already know the exercises that I'm going to do.

21:20Absolutely. Yeah, no, that helps a lot, because then it's just more efficient, you know, and like I said, you can just focus on what you need to do, and then get on with your day and know that that part's already taken care of. Yes. But I, I'm really proud of the progress that you've made mentally and physically. And you've stayed committed, even though I know you've had some, some upsets. I would say not as, there were times of not as committed as I would like to be yeah but the ability to get back into it that's the part because in the past like especially when things get like whether or not it's work personal whatever comes up life happens right there would sort of be for me being I don't think so much now but especially being really tough on myself and being I would like to say a perfectionist and that's and And knowing if for me, I think with working out and all of that before, it was sort of like, well, if I haven't done it full on, then I don't want to do it half done.

22:23Right. So but I've learned really like even getting back into it. Like I like I think before going on my vacation, I was really I was doing all the four days. I was like, OK. And then as soon as I got back, like I was like, OK, I have to get back into it. I was like, there's no excuse. and yesterday I went and then even though I was sore from lower body I was like no no it's upper body tomorrow you go and it's and it's it becomes like not even thinking anymore right you just get in the rhythm it's becomes a part of who you are and you look forward to it you know it's really your time that you're taking care of yourself and your your body and you know it's more than it becomes more than just like wanting to get small you really just it's about getting stronger like it's it's really about like I I didn't realize the how important the strength part was yeah until actually getting stronger yes the aesthetics is really nice and all of that but it's and especially as getting older it's that strength like it's that part where I'm that I'm like oh okay I can do like some of those weights I wouldn't have even thought I could do yeah as over time I'm like oh I did that okay I'm like I like and it builds a lot of confidence it builds a whole lot of confidence actually so but I will say this part of that is that you also taught me how to work out better so not doing 10 sets of things and like for example today I think I had upper body pull and the exercises it took me 25 minutes to do yeah so it's knowing more efficiently so it's using intensity the right way and yeah so I know that I like even the idea of going to the gym I know sometimes like after you and I'm like I used to be like it's going to take me forever but I don't think any of the workouts that you've I think maybe lower body does take me longer maybe 40 45 minutes at most right so it's and I know okay I have this time there's no reason that I can't right so going in and knowing that it's not going to take hours I'm not going to that has actually helped as well that makes it yeah it's all about you know I always say this but it's all it's all about working smarter not harder at this stage of the game so I didn't believe either I didn't believe that when we first started either because I was like why don't we have like all these like things I remember and I was like no no no no no where and it took me a few workouts and then I was like oh I feel it okay this is doing something so yes yeah it's a it's a it's a big mindset switch to go from you know dieting chronically over exercising to then eating more and you know do less but with more intensity in the gym but it does it does really work it does work it does for the woman vicky who's listening who can maybe relate to you know being in a calorie deficit for a long time feeling stuck feeling afraid of like lifting heavier and you know moving away from from dieting what would you tell her like what would your advice to her be I would say that the lifting heavy, I know that many women have this idea, if I lift heavy, I'm going to look like a man, I'm going to look like that.

25:55I don't think that, I know that hasn't happened, but it does help, like, especially, like, it does help to give you that figure, not only that figure that you're looking for. right because I will say this for me like like like for example like okay my lower body is very strong but my butt I've I've always had a flat butt but in going and lifting harder I notice a lot more definition in parts of my body and just even seeing like the it's the strength like to know how it's not you're not going to get bulky but it's just that strength and that actually which I never used to believe that that lifting heavy was what gave your with muscle with that definition but that is what that is the result that you get right and and I just think there's it's really something to feel that like for example if you go and you find that you can do like for example like hip thrust now with the barbell I can hip thrust 50 kg and I every time I do something I'm like wow I'm really strong like it's just that confidence yeah but it's also for your future like I I really think as we get older like my thing was always like I don't want to be that I can't carry things in the future or I can't I still can't go hiking or I can't do this Right.

27:24So I think that that that idea that we have that if I just do cardio, cardio, cardio, yeah, maybe you can remain thin, but you're not going to have that strength. And I think as especially women, as we get older, that strength is really important. So important. So important. And with the dieting, I, I, I think that just, that's really mindset, because we've been we've been told forever that this is, you know, eat less, eat less, eat less, right? Eating less for such a long time. It has such an especially maybe in your 20s. That's easy. You can do it. Right. But in your 40s, it has so many more negative effect, negative impacts on your diet.

28:11on your health, on everything. And, and I, except for like, okay, walking is walking. Yeah. But except for, except for weightlifting, I didn't change anything like in with the increase of calories and your body still uses those calories and that you need them. And I, and I really think whatever, a lot of perimenopause symptoms that I had, they've decreased or they've gone away, actually. And I think that's with nutrition in combination with the lifting heavier and that. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's, you know, it has a cascade of positive benefits when you have more muscle tissue. And when you're nourishing properly, it really does help to optimize your hormones.

29:00not to say that it will negate some of those hormonal changes of course there's going to be there's going to be those you know as we're at perimenopause and menopause but you can for sure improve your quality of life with the habits that that you have when it comes to lifting and giving yourself enough nourishment and just taking care of yourself in that right way so I know I think go ahead I think that as much as it is physically that the nourishment but especially lifting heavy mentally it it does so much like even whatever stress whatever it just it really makes a difference mentally like I I would say even the motivation to go it there's many days like I'm like I don't want to go to the gym today was really tough at work I just want to go home early.

29:51But then what I go, a lot of it is mentally, like I know mentally that I need that space. I'm only focusing on working out, I have my music. Yeah, and it just lets everything else go. So actually, I found that mentally, it's made a huge difference. It's yeah, it makes a huge difference. And there's lots of studies that support this is like, when you put your body under physical stress in that way, it does help you manage your stress in other areas of your life more positively. So So it's a way definitely to help with stress management, which is also fairly important at this stage of the game. But I'm super proud of just the progress that you've made, you know, mentally and physically, Vicky.

30:33And I couldn't be more thankful that you were so gracious to invite me onto your journey. And it's been you've made such a difference, honestly. Like, even if today I were to say, OK, you know what? I want to go it alone, right? Everything that I have learned, whether or not it's the workouts, but especially with nutrition, that part went, it defied everything that I thought that I knew everything at all. And if not, then either I would be with a coach, maybe still doing the deficit, or I would be trying to do it alone, which would have been, yeah. So it really made, it changed a lot, a game changer for me for a lot of things.

31:14Yeah, I love that. Well, you're not alone. You never will be. And I know this is still just the beginning of, you know, your beautiful chapters with your fitness goals. So I appreciate you so much for coming on and taking some time to share your experience, because I know a lot of women kind of need to hear it. You know, they need to hear it from another woman who's been there. And hopefully it encourages someone to lean into really getting stronger because it can be, like you said, a game changer. Definitely. And I know for me, even like there was no one that I knew my age that was that was lifting heavy.

31:47Yeah, don't know. And it was like, so even when I tell people, what do you mean this and that? And I'm like, and, you know, and all of this. And so it is nice to be able to have someone that understands all of that and walk you through everything. Right. For sure. No, I mean, why not be the pioneer? Right. Be the trailblazer that, you know, kind of inspires your your group of people to do the same. Well, thank you so much, Vicki. I really appreciate that you took some time to be here. Thank you too. Thank you so much. Of course. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. And I really want to thank Vicki for sharing her journey.

32:25It's been amazing to watch her transformation and to see her thrive, especially now where she doesn't fear food. She doesn't fear getting stronger. So I hope it really does inspire you to realize that there is life where you can eat more and feel better and actually reach your fat loss goals in a more efficient and effective way. So if you're listening to this and you're wondering, could this be my story too? Yes, it absolutely can. You do not have to stay stuck in a cycle of eating less and less and doing more. You need the right support, the right strategy. It's time to work smarter and not harder to get the best bodies we want to have in our 40s.

33:04So if you are ready to take the first step, You can check out the link below in the show notes to learn more about my one-on-one coaching or I have a new monthly membership that's coming out. I'm going to leave the wait list for that. There's going to be some amazing things inside that community. So either one, you cannot go wrong. So I appreciate you so much for being here. Thank you again, Vicki, for joining me. That's it for this week's episode. Until next week, keep getting stronger and keep becoming her.