Ep 42: Stepping Into Your Power Over 40: Mindset, Healing & Transformation with Samantha Peters

0:00Shauna:Hello and welcome back to Becoming Her, Fitter, Better, and Stronger Over 40. I'm your host and coach Shauna. I am 46, a wife, a boy, mom, and a fitness and nutrition coach helping women over 40 become their best. Today's an episode that I'm really excited for because I'm joined by an amazing woman by the name of Samantha Peters, who is a podcast host, an author, a speaker, and the co-founder of Light Up Your Life. She helps people overcome generational traumas and step into the best version of themselves. And I know a lot of us are on a transformational journey. And a lot of times our mindset can be our biggest hurdle.

0:32Shauna:We have limiting beliefs, old stories that hold us back. And Sam is going to share with you her amazing insights on how you can let go of that old story and step into the new one so you can become that best version of you, become her. So grab a coffee, get cozy, and let's dive right in. Samantha, welcome to the show. I am so excited to have you here. I know you're going to have so many valuable things to share with our listeners. and thank you so much for joining me. Yes, thank you so much. It's such a pleasure to be here and it was amazing having you as a guest on our podcast. Agreed, I had a great time and I was happy to have you join me here today.

1:07Shauna:Like I said, I know you're gonna have amazing things to share with our audience. First things first, I wanna share a little bit more about you if you don't mind. I would love for you to share a little bit of your backstory, whatever you feel comfortable with, and then tell us, when did you realize that your story could actually help inspire others? Yeah, that's such a great question. So much to unpack there, but kind of everything in a nutshell. I grew up in a really toxic home environment. My father was an alcoholic, very emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically abusive. And so it was constantly walking on eggshells.

1:42Unfortunately, my mother wasn't strong enough to walk away from the relationship. So it taught me that, you know, men can treat me a certain way and it's completely fine. And so I feel like it wasn't until high school when I would go over my friends' houses and see how their parents would interact. I'm like, wow, this is completely different than the way that I live and the way that I grew up in. There could be a loving, supportive, unconditional family. And so I think it wasn't until college where I really started diving deep into mindset work and realizing that, and this is a crazy study just for your listener.

2:22So Bruce Lipton, who did a research study at Stanford University, found that 95 % of our subconscious mind is created by the age of 18. So that means our routines, our patterns, our behaviors, everything that we think is stored directly in our subconscious. So there's so much programming and conditioning by our caregivers and what we see in our environment that shapes us. So, so many adults are walking through their adulthood with all of these limiting beliefs that were projected onto them by the people that surrounded them. And it wasn't until I started realizing that your brain has neuroplasticity, meaning has the ability to change and you can have different thoughts.

3:01You can create a different reality for yourself. So I started, you know, I got my master's. I was in education for a long time. I got a bunch of brain-based certifications. And so every single thought that I started to have, I questioned it. I'm like, where did this belief come from? And so much of it came from my father and my parents. And so I had to unbecome all of these things to really step into my true divine power today. And so for anyone listening to this, it's really asking yourself, okay, where did this belief come from? And every time you have a negative thought pattern, replace it with a more empowering belief.

3:38as you keep doing that, you're going to create new neural pathways in your brain to start thinking in a more positive way. So yeah, it was really diving deep into personal development, reading, hiring coaches, and realizing that you create your own reality by your thoughts. And so that's kind of everything in a nutshell. But yeah.

3:58Shauna:I love that. And I agree 100%. I think mindset can really make or break everything that you're trying to achieve in your life. And sometimes we don't even realize that some of those beliefs are not true stories. We think that they're true, but when you start to challenge them and you start to empower yourself, like you said, with a new story, you can unlock so many different things in your life. I know I've witnessed that. I know you have too. And part of the reason we share this is because we want to help other women do the same and not necessarily keep themselves stuck in a place where they don't have to be.

4:33Shauna:I know that mindset is huge and it's something that you talk about and share a ton on, especially with what we've dealt with, the traumas that we may have had or the upbringing that we might have had. For the women listening, what are some signs that their past patterns might be showing up in their lives and kind of holding them back? I mean, there's so many for me. It was feeling unworthy, stepping into relationships or at a job interview. Your past has a lot to do with the way that you think about yourself, your mindset. So even fear, right? A lot of times people let fear hold them back. And fear is just something that's made up in your mind based on the past of what you've been through.

5:12So it's really cool. I had so many questions of stepping into my power and not thinking that I was valuable enough to share my story and to become everything that I truly wanted to be. So for anyone who has hesitations, you're feeling shy, you're afraid to step into your power and share your story. I feel like those were really big signs for me, just holding myself back. And until I realized that my story can help just one person. And if that's the case, then I want to share what I've been through to help change other women's lives. So it's really just that hesitation I felt and then not feeling confident.

5:52And the way that you build confidence, and I have an ebook on this for your listeners, but it's keeping the promises you make to yourself every day. So there'd be so many times in my life where I said I would wake up and go to the gym or I would eat healthy and I wouldn't follow those promises. And every time you do that, you lose trust with yourself. And so in order to gain credibility, in order to gain trust with other people, first you have to trust yourself and you have to believe in you. So it was all of those realizations for me that I am worthy, that I can step into my power. I can make a difference.

6:28And it's first showing up for me before I can show up for anyone else. I love that. If you think about it, if you had anyone else in your life that would make promises to you and then not follow through on them, it would make for a really tough relationship to have.

6:44Shauna:And we don't understand that that's the same with ourselves, like that when we start to really honor the things that we're saying that we're going to do for ourselves, that's where true confidence comes from. It's not from the accolades. It's not from weight loss. It's not from getting fit. It's from you following through on the things that you say you're going to do for yourself. And it starts to develop this inner strength that carries through to every other facet of your life. So I absolutely love that. And when you were talking about starting to challenge the limiting beliefs that you have, a lot of times what I talk to my clients about and talk to women about is looking for proof that it is possible.

7:21Shauna:Because a lot of times you can't see it for yourself. and you tell yourself the story that something isn't possible for you. But one thing that I did, and I encouraged the clients I work with to do, is to look for proof. Like when I turned 40, I had just had my son and those were two things that I was told for forever were going to change my body in a really negative way. Like getting older, having kids, you know, it's just going to change everything. So instead of holding on to that story, I said, well, no, that's not, you know, that's not going to be my truth. And I looked for women who were fit, healthy, thriving with, you know, children over 40.

7:56Shauna:And I found them. And I just said to myself, if they can do it, why can't I? And I think inviting that story into my mind just empowered me to look for ways of how I could do it. And then it's just that matter of putting that into practice, like getting those habits into place. And like you said, showing up and doing the things that I said I would for myself. And that's how it's, it's seems simple. It seems like it's too easy to totally transform your life, but it can be. It can be super transformative when you invite that different story into your mind. Yeah. Two things I want to unpack there because I love when you shared that on the podcast.

8:32That was one thing I really, really resonated so deeply with. But if someone else can do it and you can look up to them and you have belief that they can do it because they are, you can kind of borrow some of that belief. And if they can do it, so can you. And then two, it's also just, like you said, surrounding yourself with people who have what you want. And the biggest thing for me is who's, they've been where I am. Okay. So a lot of times people look up to someone who is really wealthy, who is doing so many incredible things, but they don't have the same backstory. And so I think it's really, really powerful to connect with people who are doing it and who you can look up to and sort of borrow that belief from them.

9:15and I always ask myself too when I'm stepping into my higher self, how would so-and-so react to this situation or how would they feel about this or what would they do? And it just brings me back to center and it just helps you up level and think in such a different way. But I do think it's so imperative to, it's everything of who you surround yourself with and what you listen to. And it doesn't have to be a physical person. You could be listening to this podcast or my podcast or anyone else. and get really close to their beliefs and their thoughts.

9:48Shauna:Right. And then you can start to visualize like that best version of yourself. And instead of maybe mirroring someone else's confidence or their actions, you start to ask yourself, what would that version of myself do? What would that highest version of myself do? How would she act in this moment? And then you live that out and you keep doing that. And then eventually you become that person, that woman. And it's really cool. It's a really cool process. Many women listening are navigating reinvention maybe later in life. So what advice do you have for anyone who feels like it might be too late to change?

10:25Yeah, that's such an amazing question. And I got really excited about what you were just talking about because it is really stepping into that power, that feeling. And so in my manifestation journal that I published, there's one prompt that says, you know, visualize your future self and write as if it already happened. So every single day I do this. I mean, I just manifested so many amazing things in my life and so many of the people that I work with, but it's writing it down as if it already happens and feeling those feelings. So I write exactly what I want my future to look like, because a lot of people don't realize that you create your reality based on your beliefs, right?

11:06So the physical manifestation happens, after you think about it. And people have that reverse. A lot of people think that, you know, whatever comes at them in their physical reality, that's what they react to. Not realizing that you create it previously with your thoughts and your beliefs and what you do in your routine. So anyone listening to this, I would journal out what you want your future self to look like. And there's a really powerful chat GBT prompt that you can use. And it's essentially just saying, based on what you know about me and my future self, write a day in the life and put your goals that you want to accomplish, write a day in the life of what this person would do if they've achieved these goals.

11:50And then it comes up with this beautiful manifesto for you to read every day. And so I've done that for years now. And then also, if you don't know where to start, you can ask it to create a schedule for you. So every single day at 6.30 in the morning, you meditate, you journal, you do gratitude, whatever it is that you want to accomplish, it will give you a blueprint. So for anyone struggling, I think that's a really great way to just start.

12:15Shauna:Yeah, because your mind is a garden, you know, and if you keep allowing weeds to grow, you're never going to experience like all the beauty that you have within. So you have to be really specific, especially in the morning. I feel like when you're just starting your day, you want to fill yourself with empowering things and it doesn't have to be anything grandiose. So, you know, I'm a busy mom. I know you're busy too. So this long drawn out morning routine sometimes feels out of touch for people who are juggling so much, but even just like 10 minutes, I take 10 minutes every single morning, no matter what, if I can do longer, I will, but it's filling my mind with faith.

12:51Shauna:And that's how, that's what I connect with. I know people can use gratitude, like you said, meditation, whatever connects with your soul. But when I I listen to scripture and I read scripture and then I spend some time praying and really talking to God. I am filled with just such positivity and hope. And going back to the idea of faith and fear, those are the same thing, but you're just believing a different outcome. When you're fearing something, you're believing a negative outcome. And when you have faith, you're believing the opposite, the positive outcome. So you just have to practice that and stay diligent in doing that.

13:26Shauna:And then that becomes who you are. It's almost like confirmation bias. Like when you believe positive things are going to happen for you, you start to recognize all of the beautiful things in your life and all the positive things that happen. It's almost like when you are shopping for a car and you decide, okay, I'm going to get a white, you know, I don't know, Acura RDX. And then you start to see them everywhere, you know, because it's what you're, you're now telling yourself to notice. So it can be really transformative to just start your day with that positive action, fill your brain with hope and positivity, and that will just carry through to the rest of your day.

14:02Yeah, I love that. And I think another thing that will help your audience too is, you know, what magical thing is going to happen to me today? What exciting, unexpected thing? Because that's where you need to be in the unknown. So many people like structure. And I think that's important to have routines, but also just letting go. and believing and having faith that everything is truly happening for your good. I think that's the most magical place to be because then it's not like you're in this fixed bubble, like, okay, I'm doing this today. I'm going to the gym. I'm doing my gratitude. It opens you for so many miracles as well.

14:37Shauna:Yeah, I agree. I mean, I just think the more that you can do that, the more you can just start to get stronger in your faith and in that mindset of good things will happen to me, the more empowered you're gonna feel and just confident to stay steadfast on your journey. And speaking of journey, so for those who are listening, who are on, a lot of my listeners are on a health and fitness journey, the mental side of things is as challenging or the most challenging part of that journey. So how can healing their inner story really help with the consistency of that transformation for them? And, or how is it going to be holding them back if they don't necessarily tackle that?

15:16Yeah. So, I mean, your thoughts and the trauma that you went through get stored in your body. So if you are not trying to heal yourself, it's going to stay rooted. And I know so many people, my mother is going through autoimmune disease. And I know so many diseases are created because your body is acidic and you're not healing from the inside out. And so what I would say to your audience is just realizing that the pain and the struggles that you went through are your purpose. I truly feel that you are most qualified to serve the person you once were. So those challenges and those struggles and those things that you went through qualifies you to step into your power and help other people.

16:00And I had to realize that, you know, I went through a really tough upbringing, but it's made me so much more resilient. It's made me dive deep into all of the work and the research that I've done and the people that I'm able to help. And so I think if you think of it from a different perspective of not why is this happening to me, but how can I use my struggles and what I've been through to help empower myself and then empower other people. So it's definitely the lens that you look through because for so much of my life, I was a victim of my circumstance. And why do I have parents who love me or who support me, who want to see me grow into this beautiful woman?

16:42And, you know, unfortunately I didn't have that, but it made me so much more resilient and made me look within and realize that I can create anything that I want. And I'm here to make a really big difference. So your struggles only make you stronger at the end of the day.

16:56Shauna:They do. And like you said, I mean, instead of saying like, why is this happening to me? I think a nice reframe for that too, is like, what is this teaching me? You know, there's valuable lessons to be learned in every situation, whether it's a positive or a negative. So, again, when we're looking at, like, if you're on a fitness journey or if you're on a journey with your mental health or your business, you know, seeing obstacles as opportunities instead of, you know, barriers where, okay, what can I learn from this? How can this make me stronger? How can I help someone else with, you know, through this experience, just again, puts you in that place of your power where you're not letting your circumstance make you a victim.

17:39Shauna:You are being empowered in that place because life is always going to throw different things at you. But it's it's how you respond to that that will determine what what you'll get out of that and then how the rest of your life will go. Absolutely. And we're a mirror to every situation that we've been through. So I like to see the things that are triggering me and ask myself, why are they triggering me? And it's always an unhealed part of me that I'm still learning and I'm growing through. So a lot of times people react to those things and they really get upset. But you're right. Everything is there to teach you to make you stronger and to grow and to evolve into a better version of yourself.

18:19And one thing I do want to mention too, I know going through starting my own business, starting the podcast, doing a bunch of speaking engagements, I had so many questions. I questioned myself and where I was going. But one of my mentors taught me that every single decision that you make is the right decision because you make it that way. And so I think you need to, your audience and whoever's listening to this needs to be firm. Okay, I'm making this decision. It's going to work out beautifully for me. So I think that was another big mindset shift that I had to make in realizing that your decisions ultimately create who you are, but it's always for the good, whatever path that you do, go ahead and choose.

18:58Shauna:I agree. I mean, whatever you decide is going to offer you a lesson and experience and something that you can take with you in the future. And I know you've created lots of different resources, journals and other things to help people rewire their subconscious. Can you share one or two simple tools or exercises that someone could use if they are recognizing that some of their beliefs are holding them back? Yeah, so I published a manifestation journal and I'll definitely send you a copy, Shauna. But I've journaled so much in my life and I took little parts of each of the journals that has really helped me.

19:35And so in my journal, the first thing is, you know, being grateful, listing three things you're grateful for. because I truly believe if you're not grateful for what you have, how can you expect God to give you more if you are just so ungrateful for the life that you're truly living? So bringing yourself back to, okay, I'm so lucky to be able to be alive right now and breathing and living this life because there's so many people who have, they're less fortunate than we are. So I think gratitude has been huge for me. And then also affirmations, right? Looking in the mirror, writing down, I am abundant.

20:11I am helping so many people achieve their dreams. I am so fit. I am high energy. I'm abundant. Writing that down because as you keep doing that, it's reprogramming your subconscious mind to have those beliefs about yourself instead of the red light stories that you probably grew up with. So those are the two tools that have really helped me. But then also it's what I mentioned before, that journal prompt of, okay, journaling as if it already happened and feeling those feelings and getting excited to really step into that power. So I would definitely say those were the main things that have really helped shift my focus and my mindset.

20:50Shauna:Yeah, I love gratitude is so important because, you know, that saying like what you focus on expands is so true. So you want to you want to focus on those things that you're grateful for, because then you're only going to get more of those in your life. And to your point about affirmations, and be looking in the mirror, I think a lot of us are used to looking in the mirror and being so critical. But when you can start to look beyond like the flesh, like look at the woman that's there, look at, you know, the body that's carried you through all of these years. and it has never left your side, you can start to look at yourself a little bit more tenderly.

21:25Shauna:And it's kind of an emotional thing. But I talk to a lot of my clients too, to talk to themselves like they're talking to their eight-year-old version of themselves. Like you would never tear her apart like you do now. And then thinking about making that eight-year-old you proud, and then also that 80-year-old you proud. So eight-year-old you was full of hope and dreams and you know, had all of these goals and things that she wanted to do with her life. And then 80 year old you is thinking about like, how grateful she was to have all of those years. We're in a we're in a beautiful place right now where we still have God willing, so much time left.

22:02So you'll

22:02Shauna:make that eight year old version of yourself proud and also that 80 year old version of yourself proud. Yeah, I think all those are great points. And one thing that I had to do is when I was looking in the mirror, looking at that younger version of myself and knowing that I'm now an adult that would protect that younger version and be there for them. And I think that is so powerful when you can sit there and say that. And then I also think it's great to have that perspective of, okay, how am I going to feel when I'm at 80? Am I going to regret things and decisions that I didn't make? I feel like a lot of us are so comfortable, right?

22:35That's how our brain wants to keep us in survival mode. But you're going to have, yeah, you're going to have so many regrets if you don't go for it or choose the life that you ultimately want to live. And so I think those two places, eight years old and 80, I think that's a great perspective to have a lens to look through.