EP 48: Cravings, Emotional Eating & Finding Balance Over 40: How to Decode What Your Body’s Really Asking For

0:00Hello and welcome back to Becoming Her, Fitter, Better, and Stronger over 40. I'm your host and coach, Shauna. I am 46, a wife, a boy mom, and a fitness and nutrition coach, helping women over 40 become their best. If you tuned into last week's episode, we talked about perfectionism and how the all or nothing mindset shows up for so many of us. It's that feeling that if you can't do anything perfectly, then you have completely failed. And today we're going to take that conversation a little bit deeper because that same mindset can show up in how we relate to food, especially when cravings strike or emotional eating can creep in.

0:35We're going to unpack why it's happening, what it's really saying about you and your body, and how you can respond differently. Because at this age, being a woman over 40, when you're dealing with hormone shifts, changes with your body, stress, and a busy life, cravings can hit very differently. And learning to understand them rather than judge them or fear them can change everything. Now, before we dive into the science and the strategy with this, I want to talk about something that trips up a lot of us, and that is our idea of success. We have been conditioned to think that success means control, rigid rules, no mistakes, no slip ups, just total discipline being locked in.

1:16But that mindset creates restriction and it can actually fuel your cravings. When you make a food off limits, your brain automatically wants them. That's why deprivation will not work. The moment you say, I can't have that, your brain translates it to, I'm being restricted. And then it wants to go into that rebellion mode. So instead of trying to eliminate every craving or cut out every quote unquote bad food, what if success meant mindful participation? That's the difference between restriction and awareness. You get to decide what fits into your world, how much and how often without guilt. Because the truth is you can have a donut every single day if you want to and actually hit your fitness goals.

2:00But when you start tuning into how this donut makes me feel, especially if I've had too much, what is it doing to your energy, your mood, your digestion, your strength? You might realize that you actually don't want it every day. And that's not restriction. That's you owning your body, your choices, and that's you applying wisdom. Especially with the holidays coming up, this is the perfect time for us to talk about this and talk about what it looks like to actually practice balance because you don't have to go into that all in or all out with this time of year. You don't have to abandon your goals and you don't have to white knuckle your way through every single event coming up.

2:35There is a middle ground and that's where long-term success and peace lives with food and with your fitness journey. So if you are that type of person that really wants to have success with your fitness goals, but is struggling with emotional eating, is struggling with cravings, this episode should really enlighten you and give you some practical tips that you can use and take into your fitness journey. So let's dive right in the why behind cravings and how to decode them and give your body what it's really asking for. Let's talk about exactly what cravings are. They aren't necessarily failures.

3:11They're not proof that you don't have willpower. They are simply signals, signals from your brain and your body trying to communicate something to you that needs attention. The cravings that you have that come up aren't random. They typically have a root cause. And there's three main reasons that cravings can show up. We have physical, emotional, or habitual. So the physical, maybe you are truly hungry. You haven't had enough to eat. Your blood sugar is unstable. Or you've been, you are low on sleep. that can spike your hunger cues. Maybe you are emotional. Maybe you're stressed, you're anxious, you're lonely, and food gives you that dopamine and that comfort.

3:50Maybe it's just habitual. Maybe your brain has linked certain activities with eating. When you watch your favorite show and you have a snack, when you take a road trip, you stack up on snacks, or when you're stressed and you're sad, the first thing you wanna do is treat yourself with something that's sweet. But here's a simple way to think of it is that cravings are like your body's notifications, Just like your phone buzzes when the battery is getting low. Cravings are signals that your body needs something. It needs attention. And if you just ignore them, they're only going to come back even louder.

4:23But if you stop and ask what the message is, you can actually meet the need instead of reacting to the symptom. When you start seeing cravings this way, you can shift from feeling at war with food to feeling in partnership with your body and make empowered choices. And that's where food freedom can begin. Now that you know that cravings are meaningful and not just moral, let's talk about when they tend to show up and why. The first thing we're going to talk about is kind of having an association to snack. Like you have just automatically, habitually brought in snacking to a certain activity. So maybe when you're working, when you're watching a movie, when you're driving, when you're at a certain store, there's a certain habit that you've gotten into to get a certain snack.

5:08And these aren't random cravings. They are triggered associations. So over time, you've paired a specific moment or emotion with eating. And so now your brain just expects it. It has been wired to expect a snack during that activity. But when the ritual takes over your awareness, then it could become tricky. And that's where cravings can become a problem. So let's dig into the science behind this habit. And it's something that's called classical conditioning. You might have remembered the experiment with Pavlov's dog. And this is where every time he fed them, he rang a bell. And soon they started to salivate just at the sound of the bell with no food needed.

5:52And that is something that's called classical conditioning. And we as humans do the same thing just with snacks instead of bells. So when Netflix starts, that's the cue. You want the chips. When stress comes in, that's the cue for sweets. You're craving sweets because that's going to help you get that dopamine hit and help you to ease that anxiety. And it's not about willpower here. This is also about rewiring your brain. You've trained your brain that in those certain environments equal food. The cue triggers the craving. But the good news here is that if you conditioned it one way, you can condition it another way.

6:31So if we identify that there are activities that we are automatically associating with snacking and we want to break that cycle, we can do that with a three-step process. Number one, we're going to identify the cause. Number two, we're going to recognize that food maybe isn't the answer or the fix. And number three, we're going to replace it with a behavior that actually will help. Let's unpack all three of these here. First, we're going to identify the cause. Before we just knee-jerk reaction and go for the snack, we want to ask ourselves, am I truly hungry right now? Or is there something else that I'm feeling?

7:06Sometimes cravings aren't about food. Maybe you're tired. Maybe you should take a nap. Maybe you should take a bath, something to lower your stress levels. Maybe you just need connection and it's a good idea to call a friend. Maybe you just need some fresh air and it's a good idea to go for a walk. And it could be that you are physically hungry, but awareness is your first line of power because you cannot change what you can't identify. Once you've identified the why behind your craving, like are you feeling emotional? Are you feeling stressed? Or are you feeling actually hungry? Then you can move into step two, which is doing something to help support that need.

7:42Now, obviously, if it's true hunger, give yourself something nourishing to eat and make sure it's something that's going to support you. something with like fiber and protein. But if it's emotional, then ask yourself, what do I need right now? Because we know that food is not going to fix it. Maybe you need connection more than calories. Maybe you need a walk, a nap, a deep breath. When you ask the right question, you can find the right solution. Remember that food can't fix what isn't hunger. It might soothe things temporarily, but the real need will always remain and still be there after you have that food.

8:15When you start identifying what that need is, emotional eating begins to lose its power. What do you do when those cravings show up? But maybe it's not necessarily about emotions or stress, or maybe it is that you just enjoy having a snack while you're watching your favorite show. This is where replacement can come into the picture. Replacement is the key to helping you rewire that behavior because it's not about willpower, but it is about giving your brain a new pathway. So first you want to change the association. If the couch triggers you to mindlessly snack, then maybe try sitting somewhere else.

8:50If you have a snack bowl at your desk that's constantly out, maybe put it away and just have a designated snack time and keep a water bottle within reach so that you can reach for that instead. Shift the behavior. That way, when the craving hits, you can give yourself some time before you decide if you are truly, in fact, hungry. And if you still want something, because listen, we're human here and I'm not trying to tell you like we can't ever enjoy food while we're enjoying other activities. We just want to do it with intention. The key is to make sure that you are making a conscious choice, not just a knee-jerk reaction and going for something that you might not feel good about or aligned with after the fact.

9:29Try keeping a few smart comfort options around. So for drinks, instead of reaching for wine at the end of the day, make yourself a really fun sparkling water, maybe put some fruit in there, make it like a fun little beverage. Or if you like salty foods at night, low calorie popcorn is an amazing thing to have while you're watching your show or a movie. Or if you're a sweet girly like me, I love having a big Greek yogurt bowl with a little dark chocolate and berries, or I'll do the Yasso Greek yogurt bars. Those are delicious as well. But when you choose from intention, you're providing your brain that information that you are in charge.

10:07And that's the shift. You're not at the mercy of your cravings anymore. You are the one choosing your response. We talked about emotional eating and habitual eating, but what about the physical side? Because sometimes cravings are your body's way of saying, I'm actually hungry. I'm under fueled. Let's talk about what that looks like and how we can support our bodies in that scenario. And this is something that I see a lot where where women try to eat as little as possible during the day to save calories for later. So they're eating a light breakfast or skipping it all together. And then they're having a small little lunch and then trying to save everything for later in the day.

10:48They're trying to quote unquote be good. But by mid afternoon, blood sugar is dropped. They are starving. And by the time dinner hits, they're eating everything in sight. And then the guilt creeps in. Why can't I control myself. But this is not loss of control or willpower. It's biology. When you restrict food earlier in the day, your body does exactly what it's designed to do. It compensates. So your hunger hormones like ghrelin will surge, your blood sugar drops, your brain starts to scan for quick energy, and the most appealing thing in the world suddenly becomes everything that has sugar, carbs, and fats.

11:25And this is why making sure that you are fueling yourself is so important. That whole idea of I'll save calories for later doesn't save anything. It actually is going to steal from your energy, your focus, your mood, your metabolism, and your progress. If you are having little to no food during the day, there are only a few hundred calories, not enough protein, not enough fiber, that's not meals. Those are basically snacks wearing a disguise. When you undereat or skip meals, your hunger hormones, like I said, ghrelin, leptin, and cortisol get louder and louder. Your body doesn't trust that food is coming, so it holds onto fat and it increases your appetite.

12:08Then add that mindset piece when you Certain foods are off limits and your brain fixates on them even more. That's called psychological scarcity. You're creating an obsession on the very things that you're trying to avoid. So the solution here isn't just more willpower. It's actually to fuel yourself with balanced meals that can help you stay satisfied for three to four hours. You want something that's going to help balance your blood sugar and keep you at a sustained energy level through the day. That's going to mean meals that include protein, carbs, fat, and fiber. When you nourish your body, your cravings are going to quiet because your physiology finally feels safe.

12:51Truly satisfying meal will have those four key elements that I just talked about. So protein is the first one. That's your anchor. It's going to help keep you full, support your muscles. It's going to stabilize your blood sugar. Then we have carbohydrates, which is your body's preferred energy source, especially vital for metabolism changes after 40. Carbs can actually help with cortisol levels. And then we have healthy fats, which are critical for hormone balance and satiety. And then lastly, fiber, which is going to help adding bulk and keeping you fuller for longer. Examples of that might be a protein oats bowl in the morning with berries and a little bit of almond butter.

13:30Then at lunch, you do like a grilled chicken wrap or grilled chicken salad with quinoa and avocado. Then dinner might be salmon with some roasted potatoes and steamed vegetables. Then for a snack, you could do a Greek yogurt bowl or cottage cheese with some fruit. And these meals, it's not just that they're good because they're healthy, it's that they're balanced and they help your body reach what it needs for protein, energy, and hormone needs, which means less cravings, less snacking, more stability, better mood, and better energy all day. And there was a study that was done that actually found when women consumed about 30 grams of protein per meal, their hunger dropped, their desire to eat dropped, and their fullness increased.

14:15And that's something that's called the protein threshold effect. So when you do not meet your protein target, your body keeps singling hunger until you do. We will continue to eat until our protein needs are met, even if that means consuming extra calories. If you find yourself always hungry, check your protein first because oftentimes that's going to be your simple solution. And another key important note here is that this is why we should not remain in a calorie deficit. If you have been on this podcast long enough, you know that I talk about the importance of cycling through your nutrition phases.

14:52You should not be living in a calorie deficit or on a diet long-term. That is when you can get a lot more food noise. You're going to have deficiencies with vitamins and minerals and nutrients and you're not going to be able to support your body the way it needs, especially when we're talking about having enough muscle, having a metabolism that's working for you, not against you, having a better body composition, having the energy that you need to do all the things that you need to do and take care of. When you give yourself enough nutrition, you are going to notice that a lot of that food noise goes away.

15:24And when you're in a maintenance phase, you get more calories to play with. It's like, I like to compare it to finances because it makes it make sense. Let's say you are on a tight budget, right? Like everything is accounted for. You can't go out to dinner. You can't buy yourself a new pair of jeans or a new lip gloss. Like you know that money has a place to go and you cannot spend it. Versus let's say you got a new job, you're making better income, you paid off some debt, and now you have a little bit of wiggle room with spending. You can go out to dinner. You can plan a vacation. You can buy the lip gloss or the genes or whatever it is that you want to.

15:59That's just like calories. When you are constantly in restriction, you are living in that place of deprivation and making food that much noisier in your brain. Versus when you're in maintenance, you have more calories that you can allot to those things that you think you can't make a part of your world. But it's only because you've never really practiced what that looks like. You're either all in with a diet or you're off the rails. There is a place where you can coexist and have the best of both worlds. And that's why it's so important to spend time in a maintenance phase so that, number one, you are getting the nourishment that you need.

16:38But number two, you can build a different relationship with food and just feel like you are in control and you can make those aligned decisions. I used to be that person who, if I had pizza, I was eating the whole thing. If I had ice cream, I was eating the whole pint. whereas now if I'm having a craving for something and I want to enjoy it I will have it to where I'm satisfied but I know that I can also have it tomorrow again and the day after that and it removes that scarcity mindset about it and I actually start to ask myself do I want it do I really want it like when you remove that lack mentality around something it becomes less of a thrill to have and more often than not I'm not reaching for those things that used to have such a grip over me.

17:21So that's why it's important that we are getting into those maintenance phases where we're providing enough nourishment to our body so that we can be in control of our health, of our strength, of our bodies, and of our emotions. I just wanted to make sure I touched on that point because I know so many of us think we have to stay in a diet or in a calorie deficit. And if this is new to you and you don't know what I'm talking about when I am saying cycle through your nutrition phases, please go back to episode number six, where I go into what that looks like so that you can build the body and the metabolism and the health that you want.

17:58Now, sometimes our cravings are actually our body's way of signaling to us that we are lacking in certain nutrients. So let's talk about what that looks like. Now, your body is very smart and sometimes it will nudge you towards foods that you need based on what nutritional needs it has. And you just have to kind of learn its language. Let's talk about some possible cravings and what they might mean. If you're craving chocolate, you might be deficient in magnesium, especially around your cycle. Magnesium will drop and trigger chocolate cravings. So you can actually have dark chocolate, but you can also have dark leafy greens, almonds, pumpkin seeds.

18:37All of those are great ways to get magnesium in. I actually supplement with magnesium and highly suggest it. I'll leave my favorite supplements in the show notes, but most of us are deficient. If you are not taking it, I would highly suggest that you do. It will help with cravings, but also with overall energy. It helps with digestion. It helps with your central nervous system, getting better rest, lots of benefits for magnesium. Now, if you are craving crunchy foods, then that can be linked to low iron, especially common with women over 40 and are changing hormones. In that case, you might want to lean on something like red meat, spinach, and then vitamin C rich foods to boost your absorption.

19:18If you are craving salty foods, that can mean that you have a bit of an electrolyte imbalance. So you might want to hydrate with some electrolyte water or add a little bit of sea salt into your water that you're drinking. If you're craving sugar, a lot of times that just means that your blood sugar has dropped. The quick fix here is to make sure that your meals are balanced, like we were talking about before, with protein, fiber, and healthy fats, something that's going to keep your blood sugar stable for hours at a time. If you're craving fried or fatty foods, that's a sign that you might be low in those healthy fats or omega-3s.

19:56You can supplement with them, but you You can also have salmon, walnuts, flax seeds, chia seeds. All of those are great to help calm that need and also to help with inflammation. Now, if you're craving bread or pasta, that could be low serotonin, meaning your body just wants to be in a better mood. So now having carbs will give you that quick serotonin boost. Long-term mood boosters would be things like sunlight and movement. If you are feeling low energy and you're feeling like you're craving bread, try going for a walk or going for a quick workout. That is more than likely going to boost your serotonin levels and you might feel a lot better.

20:36You can have bread. I'm not saying you can't, but these are all little things to pay attention to and ask yourself, like, did I not move enough today? Maybe that's what my body is asking for. And that way you can give your body what it's actually in need instead of just having that knee jerk reaction to turn to food. Now, one of the biggest drivers for cravings, especially for women juggling stress and hormones, is emotional eating. So let's talk about the psychology of that. And then I want to give you some tools on how you can manage it. Stress is one of the most common triggers for emotional eating.

21:09When your body is under stress, it releases cortisol. And that's your fight or flight hormone. So cortisol will increase your appetite. It raises blood sugar. And it pushes your brain to find quick comfort. and food becomes the fastest way for you to self-soothe. Stress equals discomfort, food equals relief. But the problem is that comfort is short-lived. You feel better for maybe five minutes, but then you feel worse physically and emotionally. The next time you feel that pull, I want you to flip the script. Instead of asking, what can I eat to feel better? I want you to ask, what can I do to feel better?

21:44That might be going for a walk, stretching, journaling, thinking about what's truly bothering you. Is it inside your control? Is there something you can do about it now? Or is it something that maybe you've got to pray on and then give it to God? Do some deep breathing, you know, breathing in for four seconds, holding for four seconds, and then exhaling for four seconds. Those simple acts are automatically going to lower your cortisol levels, help to calm your central nervous system, and put you in a better state of mind. The craving might not totally disappear, but I bet you it will be much quieter and it will put you in that sense of power.

22:18You're giving your brain some relief and it's allowing you to have that pause so that you can make the healthier choice. And that brings us to our final piece, which is awareness and moderation. And this is where mindset, science and strategy come together because cravings aren't enemies to fight. They're teachers to listen to. And when you remove guilt, you can remove urgency. When you remove perfection, you can create peace, especially with the holidays approaching. I don't want you to feel like you have to be all in or completely abstain. There is a middle ground where real success lives, where you can go to the parties, enjoy food, enjoy treats, and still honor your goals.

23:00The magic is not in deprivation. It's in awareness. Before you eat, pause and ask yourself, like, what do I want to feel like at the end of this party? Do you want to feel in control? Give yourself some guidelines and some boundaries. I think so many of us are used to either being buttoned up or completely unraveled. And we don't know what moderation looks like. And the truth is, that's how you maintain results. And that's how you create a lifestyle and not necessarily a diet where you're in or you're out. So maybe that looks like having some dessert and really savoring it, but stopping when you're full.

23:38And maybe that means having one glass of wine instead of three or four. Maybe that means making sure you're having a lot of protein before going to the party so that you're not completely starving and overdo it. That awareness gives you power and it gives you choice. And that's what becoming her, that best version of you, is all about. It's not control, but it's connection. It's not perfection. It's peace. You don't need to start over every Monday. day, you just have to start listening to your body, your emotions, your cues, and then being the support system that you need. I really hope this episode was helpful.

24:17I hope it resonated with you and it gave you a new perspective, a new lens to look at cravings, emotional eating, and empowered you to approach it in a different way. And if you have not already, I highly suggest that you listen to last week's episode, which is all about perfectionism and that all or nothing mindset because it ties perfectly into what we talked about today. And if you're ready to take your transformation deeper, to build lean muscle, improve your metabolism, and live without food fear, come join me inside my Strong by Shauna membership or my one-on-one coaching. I will leave all the information and links in the show notes.

24:54And please remember that there is no such thing as perfect. There is just your best you and you get to define what that looks like. Until next week, keep getting stronger and I will see you in the next episode.