EP 55: 5 Beliefs Keeping You Stuck From Transforming Your Body After 40

0:00Hello and welcome back to Becoming Her, fitter, better, and stronger over 40. I'm your host and coach, Shauna. I am 46, a wife, a boy mom, and a fitness and nutrition coach helping women over 40 become their best. Today we're going to talk about something that probably goes overlooked. I think anytime that I talk about mindset or beliefs, whether I make a post about it or I've done podcast episodes before about it, and it's not the most popular topic, people love to hear the tangibles like, how many calories do I need to eat? What's the workouts that I need to be doing? But honestly, if you don't have the right mindset, if you have limiting beliefs, it doesn't matter because you could have the perfect plan.

0:38But if you don't have the right beliefs, it's not going to come together like you want it to. The stories you've been carrying for years, the rules you need to follow, the thoughts you've never questioned before because they've just been with you so long that they just feel true. We're going to talk about those today. And I want to be very clear. I'm not speaking at you. Every belief that I'm going to talk about, I've lived. I've lived it myself. Some of them way longer than I'd like to admit. But once I started to shift the way that I thought, everything started to change and things got a little bit easier, more doable, and more aligned.

1:13Let's dive into five beliefs that might be keeping you stuck from transforming your body over 40. Belief number one is being married to a scale number. We all have that number in our head, right? Like as I say that, you probably are like, yeah, if I only got to X amount of pounds, I would be so happy. The number that we weighed before kids, when we were 25, or during a time when, let's be honest, we were probably barely eating and doing way too much cardio or any other kind of crazy workout is not where we want to go. And for years, I chased that number like it meant something about my worth or my progress.

1:49If I was above it, I felt like I was failing. If I was close to it, I felt like I was doing better. But the whole time I was missing the real truth. The number on the scale is tied to an old version of you, a version that probably didn't have as much muscle, didn't have the same stress, didn't have the same lifestyle, wasn't lifting the way you are or should be at this age. After 40, that number matters so much less than your body composition. How much muscle you have, how strong you are, how your clothes fit, how your waist is changing, how your energy feels is so much more important. So instead of waking up every morning and giving all of that power to your scale, shift your attention to what's actually changing your measurements, your lifts, your consistency, your digestion, your energy, your confidence.

2:33That is where the true transformation lies. Please know that the smallest version of you is not gonna be the best version of you. When you shift your focus from what you weigh to what your body composition is like, you are gonna unlock your best body. So take the power away from the scale. It's okay to use it as data, but like I said, make sure you are tracking photos, measurements, your energy, your strength. Those are all going to paint a more accurate picture of where your true progress is. All right, let's get into belief number two, because this is another big one that held me back for a long time, but it's holding onto habits that you think are creating freedom when they're really creating a prison.

3:17So this looks like having that glass or two of wine every night to relax or having weekends where you go all out because you were quote unquote good all week or staying up late because it's just been a long day and you want out. zone out and watch Netflix or scroll on your phone instead of getting quality sleep. And again, this isn't judgment because I've been there. I get it. I've done it. Sometimes it really does feel like that little moment of comfort is what keeps you going. But when I got honest with myself, I understood that those things were really taking away from me and they weren't giving back to me.

3:57And when I started to shift my habits, initially, yes, it kind of felt like I was taking something away, but I didn't realize how much it would give me back. So when I stopped drinking, my sleep was better. My confidence was better. I used to use it kind of as a social crutch when I was going to parties, but I actually love life without alcohol. I sleep so much better. I think I just said that already, but I just feel so much better. I don't have that inflammation anymore. You know, on weekends, on Sundays, I used to enjoy two to three glasses of wine and my sleep would be all funky. I'd wake up inflamed and tired starting the week.

4:35Same thing with diet. When I was really buttoned up during the week, I would just do like chicken salads, not allowing myself much flexibility. And then on the weekends, I would be so hungry and my cravings would be through the roof. And so I would want to eat everything in sight, knowing that I wouldn't allow it again for another five days. But again, that cycle just kept me where I was always inflamed, tired, and just feeling like I wasn't getting anywhere with progress. So when I shifted my beliefs or my ideas around what habits were actually going to help me, my body started to respond. And don't get me wrong, I'm not demonizing food or alcohol or enjoying watching a show.

5:18But if they are taking away from our sleep and our overall health, then it's something that we need to question. sometimes we think sometimes we think these things are creating freedom when we don't know how good life on the other side without them can be so i invite you to to kind of experiment with yourself you know maybe take give yourself some healthy boundaries with alcohol maybe take a little break see how you feel you know maybe invite some more moderation into your your diet to where you allow yourself a little treat every single day so that you don't feel that lack mentality around it and have those binge sessions on the weekends.

6:01And maybe at night, have a routine that helps you unwind that doesn't involve having wine or staying up late scrolling. Take a shower. Really start to romanticize doing your skincare. Maybe read. Personally, I was struggling with scrolling at night. It just felt like a easy way to kind of zone out and numb out after being overstimulated during the day. But it was keeping me awake. So more recently, I traded my phone for a Kindle. And so now I'm reading and I'm really enjoying it. And it helps me relax. And I'm going to bed, making sure I'm getting seven to eight hours of sleep. And I'm telling you, it feels amazing.

6:42So I really want this to invite you to look at some of your habits with a different lens and start to experiment and maybe remove them or put some healthy boundaries around them and start to notice how good you feel when you do that. Because that's what this is all about. This isn't about perfect. This isn't about being good or bad. This is about trying to make small shifts in your everyday life that supports the version that you want to feel like tomorrow. And like I said, some of those things that you think are allowing you freedom are actually keeping you in a prison because you have no idea how good life can be if you start to shift some of those habits.

7:23All right, let's move on to belief number three, which is thinking that you need to have motivation to start or to stick with your plan. And this is something that kept me stuck for years. I used to think that I had to always have that fire burning, feeling excited, feeling motivated. But that rarely happens. The people that you see that have success, the women that you see that are in the gym consistently, they're not relying on motivation. If we break down the word motivation, which means why, like why do you want to do this? It's literally built into the word. Motivation means motive plus action.

8:00Your motive is your reason, your deeper why. Not the surface level of I want to lose weight, but things like what's not working in my life right now? Where do I feel limited or uncomfortable? What will happen if nothing changes? And what will my life look like if I do follow through and actually reach my goals? And who is the woman I'm trying to become? And what does she value? When you get honest with those questions, your brain literally starts paying attention to things differently. This is what's called our RAS or reticular activating system. It filters what feels important to us. When your why is vague, nothing is important.

8:41But when your why is clear, everything will shift. And dopamine doesn't show up before action. It shows up after you take action. Take action, then you get the dopamine, which is gonna lead to more action. Instead of waiting for motivation, start small, start where you are, build tiny wins that reinforce that woman that you want to become and stay connected to that deep core reason why. My why, when I started in my, I was 39 turning 40, I had just had my son and I was a mom later on in life. and I wanted to make sure that I'm here for years to come. I understood after research that muscle was what's going to help me age well and stay healthy and youthful.

9:25And the upside to that was that leaning on getting more healthy with muscle created the aesthetics that I had been chasing for years. So my motive, my why, my reason for taking action every single day is so that I am here and I'm healthy and happy and seeing my son grow up. So I want you to ask yourself, get connected to your why. Like, why is this important to you? Go back to those questions that I mentioned and really connect with them. Why do you want to do this? Why do you wanna change? What's that core reason? What's uncomfortable and painful for you in life right now? And if you don't take action, what negative consequences will come in five, 10, 20 years?

10:10On the flip side, what are the bonuses that will come into your life if you do hit your goals? Really stay connected to that because when you do, you can start to really align with who that woman is. Identify what values you have so that you can align those and then just start building habits. Have the values, have the habits, have your why, and you're never going to need motivation. All right, so now on to belief number four, which is if I go harder, I'll get results faster. If extreme plans worked, you would not be listening to this episode, and we would all been shredded 20 years ago. But all of those extreme approaches, like cutting carbs, fasting, eating as little as possible, training as much as possible, pushing, pushing, pushing, they always backfired.

11:00And even if we lost, we would gain it right back with probably a little bit extra. Extreme approaches do not work long term, especially after 40. Our bodies are more sensitive to stress. They want consistency. They want nourishment. They need recovery and routine, not chaos. Your body responds to safety. It responds to stability. It responds to predictable habits. So instead of trying to get extreme with anything, I want you to start practicing consistency with the basics. Progressive strength training, protein at every meal, walking daily, getting enough sleep, and eating to support enough muscle.

11:40These things will move the needle. It's not going to be fast. It's not going to be extreme, but it's going to be sustainable. And that's what's most important, especially at this age. Now onto our last belief that might be holding us back, which is I'll start when life slows down because honestly, life doesn't ever really slow down. You know, you're always gonna have something that is going to be an obstacle for you. You know, whether you have kids or work or holidays or events, there's always going to be something and waiting for life to be perfect is gonna keep you stuck in this loop where another year passes and nothing changes.

12:16And I don't know about you, but it is kind of scary to see how quick the first 40 years went. I'm now 46, I'll be 47 this year and that's one thing that I am intentional with is I want to make sure that I am taking each day and making the most of it. I don't want to say I'll start next week or I'll start next month and lose the precious weeks and months and years that I have and I don't want you to do the same either. The truth is that the strongest version of you is built inside the life you already have, not the imagined perfect one where everything is calm. So don't wait. Don't wait. There's always something you can do.

12:58I remember when my son was first born. In that first year of his life, I was home with him. He would want contact naps. He was sleeping on me at night. Nothing was perfect. Nothing was perfect. I wasn't going to the gym. I had some dumbbells here at home and I was doing little workouts, maybe two to three times a week when I could. Sometimes there were five minutes, sometimes there were 10 minutes. And there were times where I felt like, what is even the point here? But it did matter. It did matter. The consistency, that routine that I was building, just the action of showing up for myself built that momentum that kept me going.

13:38And as he got older and I had more time and I had more energy and I was went back to the gym, I started to build and that that compounded on itself. So don't wait. Start now. Start small. Start messy if you have to. Take 10 minute walks when you can. Make sure you're having protein, especially at breakfast. Like give yourself these small little goals. Work out three times a week. Have a nighttime routine that supports you. The biggest lie that will keep you stuck is that you have to be perfect. you do not. Consistency is what wins the game and consistency doesn't need perfection. It just needs you to show up with those tiny habits and repeat them day in and day out.

14:19And you can decide what they look like, but don't wait. Start now. The good thing is about this chapter in our lives at 40, we still have so many years ahead of us. God willing, take advantage of every single day, every single week, every single month that you have. And here's the part that I really want you to hear and understand is that you do not have to figure this out by yourself. You are not walking this walk alone. I am with you and I am walking this journey as well. And it's my goal with this show to give you tools and information and mindset shifts to help you fuel your success with your Fit Over 40 journey.

14:58You can also join me inside my Strong by Shauna membership where you get the structure, the guidance, the workouts, but most importantly, the community of women who get it, women who are walking the same exact road that you are. And honestly, it's a great time to join because January is just around the corner, which is when my next challenge starts. Solon is sponsoring this challenge, so you literally have a chance to win some pretty cool prizes, $50 ,000 for one grand prize winner, then a handful for 5 ,000 and another handful for 1 ,000. And joining now gives you time to build those habits so you can really have success in January and feel confident and ready.

15:40I will leave all the information below for the membership. The other option, if you don't wanna have a monthly membership, you can just join the challenge. I will leave both links below in the show notes. But like I said, I appreciate you for just being here. Please remember, you do not have to keep restarting. You do not have to keep guessing. You do not have to keep doing this alone. You're capable of it. You just need to have that belief and then potentially have the support you need while you grow into that version of you. Thank you so much for supporting the show. If it was helpful, please leave a rating or review.

16:13I'd be so thankful. And if you have show ideas, please DM me on Instagram. I would love to hear from you. But until next week, keep getting stronger and I will see you in the next episode.