EP 65: From Soft and Stuck to Sculpted and Strong Over 40: Paree's Transformation Journey

0:00Paree:Hello and welcome back to Becoming Her Fitter, Better, and Stronger Over 40. I'm your host and coach, Shauna. I'm 46, a wife, a boy, mom, and a fitness and nutrition coach, helping women over 40 become their best. Today, I am really excited for this episode because it's a little bit different. I won't be by myself, which I always enjoy having company. And the woman who's joining me today is someone who is really special to me. Her name is Paree, and she is a former one-on-one client of mine, now a friend. But she is here to share her transformation journey. Just over six months ago, she reached out to me because she was stuck.

0:34Paree:She was eating 1 ,500 to 1 ,600 calories, working out tirelessly, and just not seeing changes in her body. And so over six months, we took her through a transformation process, something that I walk my one-on-one clients through. And generally, most women start in this place where they have been chronically under eating, they've been overexercising, and they hit this point where nothing is changing. and all of the things that they used to do that used to work are now working against them. With Pari, what we did is something that I take most of my clients through, which is a transformation. So for the first few months, what we did was we started to focus on eating more, training less, but training with intention, allowing proper recovery and allowing her metabolism, her hormones, her stress levels to get in a better place.

1:19Paree:And then we went into fat loss and her body was responsive. And then finally we reverse dieted her into maintenance where She is now maintaining her fat loss, maintaining her physique transformation. She completely transformed her body. She went from being soft and stuck to truly being sculpted and strong. And she is here to share her story so that you can be inspired and understand and know that change for your body after 40 is 100 % possible. I can't wait for you to hear her story. Grab your favorite drink and let's dive right in. Welcome, Pri. I'm so excited to have you here today and I'm honored that you took some time to share with me and to share with other women your story.

1:59Paree:Just a short time ago, you were in a place where you were feeling stuck and wanting to see changes with your health and your fitness. And I was lucky enough to spend some time with you over the last six months and go through this journey with you and see you transform. One of my favorite things to see with a client, aside from just the physical transformation, is that inner confidence comeback. Something that I noticed with you with different progress photos you would send, posture would change, which was a clear sign that you were starting to feel just better about yourself. And that's so important for us as we're aging.

2:34Paree:It's just that we feel good, you know, because that allows us to show up in the best ways. And now I see you here with your tank top, with your guns out, and you look amazing. but I know, you know, it goes so much deeper than that. And that's what I want to talk about today and just share your experience. So thank you for number one, trusting me on your journey and number two for being here. And I can't wait to let everyone else know your story and your success. Thanks, Shauna. Thanks for having me. Yeah, of course. We'll, we'll dive right into the good stuff because I know there are a lot of women who will relate to your story from where you were.

3:11Paree:And I would love to give them some insight, give them some hope. Before we worked together, before we were coaching together, can you describe to me kind of where you were at? What were you doing? What was working? What wasn't working? And why we ultimately came to work together?

3:27unknown host:Yeah, for sure. So, well, firstly, I'll apologize for my Aussie accent in case people find it difficult to understand me. But I think it's a testament to this process that we can be halfway around the world from each other. And yet it's worked so well. And the support I've had from you, Shauna, has really helped me to maintain my progress. So thank you. Of course. So before we worked together, I was coming up to my 40th birthday. It felt like a really important milestone in my life. And I just thought to myself, it's been 20 plus years of trying to work this out. Let's finally get some help and dedicate some time and effort and educate myself better and achieve what other people have managed to achieve.

4:10unknown host:Like if I can see you doing it, why can't I do it? And I was very much like you. I before I leant into strength training I used to kill myself doing hours of zone two cardio I've been a workout goal my whole life so I was used to hard work I had done strength training in the past including crossfit s45 you know outside group training and my body had fluctuated from kind of bulking and then losing lots of weight but it was never healthy or maintainable for me. I also had like a niggly back and shoulder injury and that made me really scared of lifting heavy weights. So I eventually had shied away from that and though I was slowly returning to that, you know, based on the things that you hear and what you think you need to do, I was not lifting anywhere near what I should be lifting and I wasn't doing it right.

5:09unknown host:I also struggle to fall pregnant. I have two kids now. I have PCOS. A gym trainer, you know, like 10 years ago told me that I should be careful to maintain a certain level of body fat percentage because it would make it harder to fall pregnant, which is true. But the education that was around at that time, like it just wasn't as available as it is now. You know, your podcasts went around and other people's podcasts and things, and it was difficult to educate myself and understand and learn. But understanding those things now a little bit better and how you can thrive through things like that, like I think it makes a difference.

5:52unknown host:So physically, whilst I generally felt fit, I didn't like the way I looked. And mentally, I was absolutely exhausted. And I was lost because I was trying to work this out for myself. but really I just needed some guidance. And as I said, I was coming up to my 40th birthday. I had come across your Instagram account and honestly, I felt like your journey partly mirrored mine and that's why I reached out.

6:23Paree:Amazing. Yeah. I mean, I can relate to that so much and I'm sure there are a lot of women that will hear this and feel the same. One thing that stood out to me that you were saying is that like, you know, your efforts, they weren't lacking. But for the effort that you're putting forth, you weren't seeing the results that you wanted to. And that can be really disheartening, you know, because I think initially when when someone is in the gym all the time, you know, when we're younger, that can give us some results. But, you know, over time, that starts to have a negative impact when we are just pushing harder, restricting calories more.

6:59Paree:we find out the hard way that, you know, that's not the long-term way to achieve our best physique, achieve our best health. But then it puts us in a place of like, okay, what do we do? You know, if more isn't going to help me, then where do I go from here? And I think that coupled with, you know, getting older, being a mom, you start to have these feelings or these emotions where you just don't trust your body. You feel disconnected to it. You feel a loss of hope. And, you know, there's parts of your confidence that start to get chipped away. And, you know, that's really important. Obviously, health is key here for us as we're talking about longevity.

7:38Paree:But being confident, being happy, that's huge in how you show up as a wife, as a mom, in every area of your life. So, you know, it's important that we're connected to that. Getting back to, you know, why you reached out, I can understand. And that's kind of where I was too. It's like, okay, I want something to change. I want to be healthy. I want to feel good again. I want my outcomes to match my efforts. So many women, I think, can resonate with that same story. Even though we all have, we live in different areas of the world, we have had different lives, but so many of us have had that same story of trying all the things and then only to have it backfire over time.

8:20So as we started working together, I know a lot of the things that I talk about on the show are about kind of undoing some of the old programming that we were led to believe could be effective.

8:33Paree:So when I walked clients through their transformation, a lot of times, you know, it involves a process of helping to upregulate metabolism, which could mean eating a little bit more, training it a little bit less, but training in an intentional way. And sometimes that can be a little bit unnerving to leave some of the old methods behind, even though we understand that maybe they aren't working. But something to lean into something different and new can be can be challenging and scary. So, you know, as we started working together, what what was something that surprised you or even scared you a little bit about the process of us taking you from being stuck to being now strong and sculpted?

9:14unknown host:I think the thing that was most eye-opening that you said to me was that it was going to take time, which scared me because I was still looking for a quick fix. It's so hard to shift away from that mentality. But you didn't sugarcoat it. You didn't promise me anything. You told me we had to reset my metabolism first, which was so scary to me because that meant going, in my mind, it meant going backwards. and it took a huge leap of faith for me because I looked at your transition photos and I said to myself if you can do it so can I and I relied really heavily on that but then the surprising part is that when you do the food reset and the scale comes down and when you think it will go up I know.

10:08unknown host:And it's like, what? How is this working? All of a sudden, I'm not stressing my body out every single day. I'm fueling it and I'm doing it the right way. I'm eating the right food. I'm eating the right breakdown of foods in terms of macros and fueling before workouts, which was a massive game changer for me. So, yes.

10:32Paree:It's brand new, you know? The concept of building versus burning and thinking like an athlete instead of thinking like a dieter is foreign to most of us. But when you do that, when you lean into your health and your performance and you fuel your body, it starts to perform and react and respond in ways that you didn't even know was possible. You know, energy comes back, sleep gets better, your strength gets better, your ability to manage in your day, mental load, you know, your ability to just have a better cognition. All these things start to change. And it's like, it's only because you're giving your body some of those tools that it really needed.

11:14Recovery, rest, nutrition, all those things are not negotiable.

11:20Paree:Those are things that we need. But over the years, we have been led to believe that, you know, burning more calories, eating less is the answer. And we all just started a diet somewhere in our 20s and never really stopped. We never really realized that it was doing us more harm than good and, you know, leading to slower metabolisms, muscle loss. And now we're pairing that with hormonal shifts as we're getting into our 40s and muscle loss with age. And it just sets us up to be really stuck in the whole process. It is scary to lean into like fueling more, building more muscle, helping to upregulate metabolism.

11:59Paree:But on the other side of that, you get to really watch your body thrive and respond in ways that you didn't expect. And I had that happen with many clients where we start to increase calories and the scale doesn't change. Or sometimes it even comes down because their body's taken out of that stressful situation. situation, cortisol comes down, their body actually releases water and they can train heavy and hard again. They can sleep better. And so they're always surprised at like, wait a minute, I just thought I had to continue pushing and eating less. And now I'm eating more and I'm losing weight.

12:33I'm feeling tighter, toner.

12:36Paree:This doesn't make sense to me, but that's the magic of helping your metabolism, working with it and not against it. So I'm so proud of you for doing that because I can remember my first time leaning into that phase and it was terrifying. But at the same time, I was like, I know what I was doing wasn't working. So I have to try something different. So I applaud you for leaning into that because it's not easy, but obviously on the other side of it now you can see it was well worth it. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. During our time together, what was your biggest aha moment that just like clicked for you? Like, oh my gosh, I get it now.

13:13unknown host:My aha moment is actually more centered around food. Going from chronic under eating, reduced carbs, and then splurging because, you know, of course I deserve to eat a bit of chocolate every night. Why shouldn't I? I was up at 5am. I was peddling my heart out. You know, surely I was allowed my treat every night. But then once you start eating within the parameters that your body actually requires well guess what I was so full I couldn't possibly eat anymore I didn't need the sugar hit in the afternoon I didn't feel like I needed to deserve that treat anymore and I'm not saying that I don't eat sugar I absolutely eat sugar um like it's just you know within moderation and I I mean I have kids so you know I have sugar in the house I have chocolate in the house it's not like a restricted household.

14:07unknown host:And I remember at the beginning, you kept saying to me, listen to your body, listen to the feedback. How do you feel? What's your body saying to you? And I'd have moments of freaking out because I'd still go on that binge because I felt like mentally I needed it, not physically. And every time it happened, I'd go, okay, what's my body saying to me now? yeah um how do I feel well guess what I didn't feel great when I did that and like it might take time and it's a process of learning but if you lean into that and you lean into how your body is responding to you then you learn what it likes and what it doesn't like and the mental part is a different part but you know over time that kind of dissipates and you know the teaspoon of biscoff I put in my nightly yogurt snack now at the time that's you know my little treat but it's got yogurt and chia and raspberries and it's still a healthy snack but I get that little bit of cool I get my little thing that I love and that's enough and my brain and my body are more in harmony now yeah yeah um and I'll say another aha moment um it was towards the beginning and I'd be going to bed the night before a strength workout that I was going to do and I was actually excited um and I've always loved working out um and it sounds really nerdy but like it felt different it felt good to have measurable goals and go into the gym kick some ass um Um, and like the night before I'd just be like excited going to bed.

15:50unknown host:I can't wait to get up and do my exercise. I love that. And I have a home gym, so I wasn't going to an actual gym with, you know, lots of equipment and whatever. I have limited equipment and I still think that I've managed some pretty great body recomposition with the limited resources that I have. So I just feel like people should know that.

16:12Paree:Yeah. No, you, you made incredible progress. I told you at the end of your deficit, you looked like you could step on stage. Your body was incredible. Like the composition changes that you made, they were the result of effort in the gym, proper nutrition, and really just trusting the process. And so you definitely locked in. I think once you recognize how things were working for you, I think it just helped to keep you motivated and really have that excitement to go on the gym. And I think, again, going back to that idea of thinking like an athlete, like thinking about your performance, not just thinking about, OK, I'm going to beat myself to a sweaty pulp tomorrow in the gym.

16:55Paree:It's like, am I going to like do another rep with with that exercise? I'm going to be able to lift heavier. Am I going to really challenge my body and feel strong? That training looks and feels so different than just going to a workout class and getting super sweaty and tired. but the results like what it does to your physique and what it does for your confidence it it transforms you in ways you never really understood was possible which i love because like i said i start to see that i start to see that when with check-in photos posture starts to change i can start to see some muscle definition and then it's like they get excited for those those wins they're focusing on their strength they're not just focusing on what the scale is doing although that's a data point.

17:37Paree:It's not the whole story. And so once we just put that in the background, we know it's there, but we focus on the other things that we talked about, like sleep, strength, nourishment, protein. When those things are dialed in, everything comes together in such a beautiful way. I know you know because you're living walking proof of it. One thing I want to go back to that you mentioned in regards to food, one thing that happens when we are chronically dieting, we have this like limited mindset with our like fun foods or treat foods because that's the cycle I was stuck in too where I was restrictive all the time.

18:12Paree:And then because I didn't allow certain things when I did have them, I wanted to have them in excess because I didn't know when I was going to allow myself again. Versus when you have enough food, number one, you help your hunger hormones and your blood sugar. So you're not constantly having hunger, that hunger thrown at you. You're not constantly having those blood sugar drops. Your hunger hormones aren't screaming at you all day. And so that allows you to have more control over the food choices that you have. But then also you recognize that you can incorporate some things even daily and still make progress.

18:52Paree:And like you said, it's about understanding what those foods do for you or maybe what they don't do for you. And then creating a lifestyle, not a diet that you're either on or off, but creating a lifestyle that's supportive of how you feel, how you want to look, and you get to decide that. And I think that's really important. I'm not a coach that's going to say, yes, you can have this or no, you can't. But you being in the driver's seat, asking yourself, how does this make me feel? And is this helping me towards where I want to go? now you have this nice balance where you're maintaining your fat loss, you're maintaining your physique, but you're including and incorporating things that you love, but in a way that's still supporting your goals.

19:35Paree:And I think that's ultimately how you're going to maintain your results forever. It shouldn't be something that you're on or off. It should be something that just becomes a part of you and your life.

19:47unknown host:I, yeah, very much agree with what you said. Yeah. Yeah.

19:51Paree:Yeah. Cause I'm, I'm a sweet tooth girl too. So my nightly treats are always in, always happening no matter what phase I'm in. So I completely relate to that. Your story is, is one that I know a lot of women are going to relate to. Um, although I'm sure that there are some women that are potentially just wondering like if this could be their story. So for someone who's listening, who is feeling stuck or discouraged, worried about her age, worried that, you know, her best body, her best years are behind her. What's something that you could share with her about your own experience or, you know, something that you would want her to know?

20:28unknown host:I think it's creating your own unique new lifestyle. And it is a lifestyle, as you were just saying, that you can maintain. So, you know, some days I feel on top of the world. Some days I might not have slept great and I might not be able to push my gym goals, but I can confidently take a step back and look at my overall progress and I know that there is no end goal. There isn't a particular, I'm not like measuring my bicep and saying I need to get to this centimetres or whatever it is. There is no end goal because it's a lifestyle and the lifestyle is a journey and it will change over time. Sometimes we go forwards, sometimes we go backwards but in the greater context of the next 40 years of my life I have a blueprint and I can move forward knowing that this approach is working for me and I just need to stay the course and it might look different for me to what it looks like for you or for the other you know however many millions of women but it's finding what works for you um and I think continuing to educate ourselves continuing to learn because that's ultimately going to help us to thrive.

21:47unknown host:I'm grateful at this point that I can walk the earth with a kick in my step and I have the energy to play with my kids and hopefully in 30 years' time, my grandchildren. I want to be able to sit on the floor at 80 and get up and not cry about my knees and I want to be able to carry groceries up a flight of stairs.

22:07Paree:Yeah.

22:08unknown host:You know, at the beginning when you were talking to me about all of this, you asked me to record my why, like think about my why, write down my why, and that has to be at the basis of all of this. And for me, it's living well longer. And I know that that's a thing that is being thrown around a lot, but I do want to be able to do the basic things when I'm 80 and, you know, not being reliant on other people. So what do I have to do now to make that happen? And like I said, it might look different to me, to what it looks like for someone else, but it's finding that for you. And I think that if it's maintainable and all of that, then you just will do it.

22:55unknown host:You'll continue to do it because you can. It's not difficult. It's not, But yeah, sure, it takes energy and planning and all of that. But if you've integrated it into your life, then it's just your new lifestyle.

23:10Paree:I could not agree more. And I had chills as you were speaking because acting to that bigger reason is so important. And that is your North Star. That is the driving force behind what you're doing. You know, that said, you could probably say that what you're doing now, even though it's a commitment and it is work and it is a process of you staying committed, it's probably less taxing mentally and physically than a lot of the other things that you used to do that didn't really yield the same outcome.