Monologue: The Super Bowl Showed That Generative AI Is Washed

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0:39Last Sunday was the Super Bowl, the final game of the NFL season. And for those of you who don't like sport or live in another country or something, it's an event that many people just watch for the many, many ads that they cut into during the game. A Super Bowl ad can cost as much as$8 million for a 30-second commercial, depending on where it airs during the game, the most coveted slots being just before the halftime show. and the ads themselves tend to be the spectacular, highly produced fair. They're very weird, but they put a ton of money into them. This year, I was specifically excited to see what bullshit slop the various AI companies would try and force down my nasty little throat.

1:13Last year, Anthropic aired a five-second-long commercial that said, and I quote, Claude is a next-generation AI assistant, a sentence that, when you think about it, means precisely nothing. And Microsoft famously aired a co-pilot AI commercial where several of the prompts, such as write code for my 3D open world game, simply didn't do what they said they did. In the case of the open world game, by the way, from last year, it generated a step-by-step guide to building one, which isn't the same thing at all. It's kind of like ordering dinner and Uber Eats bringing you a recipe for a burrito instead of an actual burrito, but still charging you all the same.

1:48Nevertheless, this year's slop was even more obscene, starting with an ad for Google's Pixel 9 phone, where a guy has asked questions as if he's taking a job interview, by Google's generative AI, Gemini Live. As he answers them, it's obvious that what he's describing is actually being a father. They also show you an overlay of him taking his kid to school. It's got emotional music playing with him taking her to school. At one point, he Googles explain bullying to a child, which I should be clear is not a Gemini product. It's just Google search. It's unclear what this ad is actually advertising.

2:21We don't hear the prompt that started these questions, nor do we know why he's answering them. but when he's done, he's clearly joining some sort of job interview virtually. Gemini doesn't really respond to any of his answers, other than to say things like, try rephrasing your answer to sound more confident. So we can assume, and that's all we're doing here, that he's preparing for a job interview. He's also pretty old. Like, his kid has gone off to college. She's a full-grown adult now. Very weird. Very weird commercial. Very clearly built for people who cry whenever they remember their parents.

2:51Sorry if that's you. You are... Do not use Gemini Live. That's my recommendation. Next up was OpenAI's gratuitously stupid commercial called The Intelligence Age, which showed a dot matrix history of time involving men throwing spears, people riding horses, waves crashing, a waving skeleton for some reason, there was a plane, and eventually a globe with a few dots going toward a computer with a modem sound playing. A full 40 seconds in to this one minute long commercial, we start actually hearing prompts. Someone says, summarize this article for me. Then someone else says, help me practice asking for a raise.

3:27And this prompt, by the way, is near impossible to hear as it's cut off to have a guy say, act as my sleep coach. And then there's two more prompts in a language I don't speak. Then another that says, turn my idea into a business plan before a chirpy voice asks, what do you want to create next? This is really good. I love this. I also love the idea of having two prompts in different languages because people speak different languages other than English. I understand that. There is no official language of America. So it's good. But nevertheless, you only got a few seconds. You didn't think to try and get as many prompts in.

4:03Maybe it's that they didn't have them. In fact, if you're a listener and you watch this commercial and you speak those languages, please email me. It's easy at betteroffline.com. I would love to hear what they actually said. Nevertheless, asking ChatGPT to be your sleep coach leads it to ask you about your sleeping habits, your lifestyle, common issues, sleep quality, and your ideal goals. Asking it to turn my idea into a business plan immediately led it to asking me what my idea was. Great! I can practice with a large language model how to ask for a raise, but what does that mean exactly? What does this product do?

4:37What is ChatGPT? And assuming that AI ends up actually wrecking the labor market as they want it to, the idea of using chat GPT as a soundboard for when you renegotiate your contract kind of feels like more of a cruel joke. It's also not going to do that. But anyway, two fucking years into this nonsense, and these assholes can't even come up with one interesting or useful example. It's a fucking joke. These people have such contempt for customers that they can barely be bothered to advertise their product. It's also goddamn half-hearted. Yet the worst one by far was Salesforce and their gate expectations ad, where Matthew McConaughey, an actor, says that he, and I quote, didn't use AgentForce, the powerful AI from Salesforce, so an AI agent didn't send him the fastest route to his gate, or route of your British, which has now changed.

5:23The commercial ends by saying that Salesforce helps London Heathrow create a first-class experience. Everyone in the commercial is also American. Nevertheless, I naturally went and looked up what this integration actually looked like and discovered that Heathrow actually integrated Einstein's chatbots. Einstein being Salesforce's large language model chatbot thing they've been warming up for about a decade. But this was back in May 2023. They claimed that Einstein answered more than 4 ,000 questions a month and helped cut call service volumes by 27 % and that Heathrow has seen a 450 % increase in live chat usage since launch.

5:59Then they proudly added that today, and the article is completely undated, Heathrow had seen around 40 to 60 second quicker per contact interactions in call centers with Einstein chatbots. This is the only data that appears to exist for anything to do with Agent Force and Heathrow. There's nothing else I could find. I will add that a record-breaking 83.9 million passengers flew through Heathrow in 2024. 4 ,000 questions a month or 48 ,000 a year is kind of a drop in the bucket. As a percentage, it's 0.0572%. And like I said, I'm really not finding any information about their agent force integration.

6:41All I could find was a LinkedIn post from Sharon Pryor, who's the director of technology at Heathrow, who said that 400 % more questions were handled via live chat, which is interesting because the one from 2023, it seems, was 450%. I guess that went down. And apparently Agent 4 says something called instant FAQs and in-terminal wayfinding for your gate plus restaurants, shops, and facilities. I want to be clear that all this bullshit was doable with knowledge management systems and chatbots all the way back in the mid-2010s. Salesforce isn't even describing AI agents, which are supposedly autonomous chatbots.

7:13They're describing this boring, Bob-standard bullshit, we-can-help-you-find-your-gate stuff that apps have done for a decade. What's more insulting is the commercial obfuscates what this product actually is. McConaughey, as a traveler, is saying he didn't use AgentForce, which is the powerful AI from Salesforce, as if that is something a consumer chooses to do versus a business being actively conned by Mark Benioff, the CEO of Salesforce. Salesforce has no powerful AI. It's all a lie, a con, an attempt to pretend that a company does something they do not do. Salesforce has a large language model they're working on.

7:45They've used ChatGPT or GPT-4 in the past. Nevertheless, I don't know what the powerful AI is. Salesforce, well, their problem is simple. They can't do an ad that says, hey, do you want a slightly more powerful chatbot that costs a great deal of money? So they have to make this kind of incongruent ad that lies about their product without ever really saying what it does. OpenAI, two years into this bubble, still can't muster up a single, meaningful, interesting use case. And in both Google and OpenAI's case, it truly isn't obvious what the product is that they're selling. And that really is the ultimate summary of the AI boom.

8:20Vague and blatant lies that barely mask the contempt that these companies have for customers. So much contempt that they can't even bother to give them a real reason to use it. And if I'm honest, I'm a little bit disappointed about these commercials because they lacked even the juice of the 2022 crypto bacchanalia. You see, there we had celebrities that called you a pig and a moron. They said you were a hog that rolled around in the mud and you oinked and squealed instead of putting everything you had behind crypto. And people like Tom Brady, well, they delivered, or at least on a superficial level, these compelling-ish messages that suggested you might really need to and successfully convince people to buy these nebulous tokens and NFTs, even though many of the companies they promoted turned out to be elaborate Ponsai schemes such as FTX.

9:04And never have I been more certain that this bubble will pop. This was the biggest stage that generative AI will ever have. And they blew it because, well, deep down they realize there's just not that much to sell.

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