#89 39 Harsh Truths I Wish I Knew In My 20s

0:00This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales, using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. Today's my 39th birthday, like right now, today. I thought I'd give you a list of 39 things I wish I knew many years ago.

0:37Choose your heart. Being poor is hard. Getting rich is hard. Being overweight is hard. Getting fit is hard. Being married is hard. Being single, hard. Every choice in life is hard. If you don't choose hard, your hard will choose you. Ask more questions. Socrates said, smart people learn from everything and everyone. Average people learn from their experiences. Stupid people already have all the answers. So when you ask the right question, you will find out the right answer. Amateurs wanna do what they love. Pros learn to love what it takes. It's not about what you're good at. It's about doing what needs to be done.

1:13There's a real big difference. And if you figure it out, you'll be what most people want. I have a friend who used to work for two billionaires. After all he's seen, he said to me, I wish you not one penny over$299 million. Reality gets lost somewhere after that. So don't chase billions, chase purpose. We've weaponized distraction against ourselves. We've turned silence into the enemy. Every goddamn moment has to be productive now. Can't just walk, need the podcast. Can't shit in peace, gotta scroll. Can't eat without Netflix numbing the edges. It's mental fast food. You don't need empty calories for your body or for your mind.

1:50One of the greatest unlocks you can have, be bored more often. Turn off your phone and your brain turns on. Once you lose it, it's hard to get it back. This is good advice for finances and fitness. So you get in shape, it's easier to stay in shape. I rarely meet someone super fit who also doesn't work incredibly hard in the other areas of their life. This is another one to remember. If someone you just met is talking shit about their ex, friend, partner, boss, guess what? They will be doing the same to you next. So surround yourself with people whose character you admire and you'll begin to notice your character improves too.

2:25Behind every successful person is a story that gave them no choice. We often don't even realize that a pain point we're dealing with can become our turning point. You know that old saying, put your relationships first? It turns out it's right. My number one regret in life, not prioritizing my marriage above just about everything. Marrying well is the biggest life hack of all. And I should know because I've done it twice and I didn't do it right the first time. You become the person you want when no one else is watching. It's the quiet private reps that will never be cheered that actually lead to greatness.

2:59Never take advice from someone who hasn't actually achieved the thing they're advising about. Incredibly underrated hack. If you don't want their life, don't listen to their life advice. If you don't want their marriage, don't listen to their marriage advice. If you don't want their bank account, don't take money advice from them. Why do we so often take advice from people who haven't actually done the thing they're telling us how to do? Inconvenience yourself. Don't wanna go to a friend's baby shower? I don't know, get up and do it anyway. This generation went way too hard setting boundaries.

3:31Show up for those you love, even when it's not convenient. By the way, my friend Kim taught me this one because I do not like picking up people from the airport. In fact, I think people who ask you to pick them up from the airport, they hate you a little bit inside. and she vehemently disagrees with me, thinks that we should all do airport pickups at all times. She's probably also one of those people that says that you should ask your friends to move. You can tell me in the comments if you are either one of those two people and then you can unsubscribe. No, just kidding. But seriously, sometimes we should probably do things even when it's not convenient.

4:04The greatest muscle you can build is urgency. Decrease the time between having an idea and getting it done. Everything changes when you do. This is a lesson learned from many, many millionaires and billionaires. Probably the number one thing I've done to get rich, if it's not a hell yes, it's a no, period, exclamation point. You will be richer when you understand leverage, but you'll also be aware of when people are trying to take advantage of you. Learn it so you can spot it. Learn it so you can spot it in your life and learn it so you can spot it in business. There's good leverage and there's bad leverage.

4:38You must learn to be disliked or you will find yourself stuck in a prison of other people's beliefs. So stop relying on the approval of others. Once you do, you'll stop caring about their disapproval too. You don't have time to hate someone when you're a busy building. The less you build, the more you criticize. As you work, your own jealousy dissipates. You're not gonna notice somebody else is motoring when you're too busy doing it yourself. And it turns out getting to work means you're getting your mind right. Show me your fridge and I'll show you your health. Show me your books and I'll show you your goals.

5:10Show me your calendar, I'll show you your priorities. Show me your friends, I'll show you your future. Your inputs will become your outputs. So choose super fucking wisely. 99 % of people don't move fast enough. Believe it or not, you have an actual cost to inaction. Every time you say one day, you cost yourself future dollars. I waited a year to take my Goldman Sachs job. That delay cost me six figures. When it's go time, go. This one's important. Complexity makes you seem smart. simplicity makes you money. It's not just a business philosophy. Learning to boil complex problems down to their essential truths will improve your thinking, communication, and discernment.

5:51The longer something has been successful, the more likely it is to continue to be successful. This is called a feedback loop of life. And it turns out this is true for business and it's also true for you. Once you get the momentum going, it's really hard to stop. The most underrated secret to success, you say you will do a thing, then you actually do the thing. 90 % do not do this. So say only what you mean and then actually follow through. That means you keep the most important promises that you make, the ones that you make to yourself. The fastest way to build a memorable brand is to pick a fight.

6:27The fastest way to make a real connection is to make a real impression. So don't fit in, stand out, and if you stand up for something, fight for it. A lesson I repeat often, never let your worry be bigger than your faith. I think you should have some faith that God doesn't give you a seed without provision for it to grow. So instead of you saying why it won't work, maybe have a little faith in that he wouldn't give you a dream if he didn't think that it was possible for you to achieve it. Nobody cares about your life. They think about you for one second and then they think about themselves again.

7:01So you might as well do what you want. Embarrass yourself. Do the stupid thing. Nobody's watching anyway. You are falling behind people dumber than you. So start, learn, do it again a bit better. That's it. It's okay to fail, but it's not okay to be afraid of failure because right now somebody who is not as good as you, who has a worse product, who's not as smart as you is making more money than you do. Why? Because they're not afraid to sell and start. Play the long game. You will wish you started earlier and worked harder when you are young. I promise you. The earlier you plant the seeds, the sooner you'll eat the fruit.

7:36My husband always loves to tell me when I don't want to do something. He says, when's the best time to plant a tree? And I say 10 years ago. And then he goes, when's the second best time? Now. So if you are going to start and you know it's something that you need to do, do the rarest of all things. Do it now. Waking up at 5.45 AM solves 99.9 % of daily issues. So wake up early, like actually early, see what happens. Working smarter, not harder is a beautiful lie. You will not know how to work smart until you've worked very hard for an irrationally long time. If you actually wanna work smarter, work harder, and only then can you recognize the difference between the two.

8:14Size of the problems you solve equal the size of your bank account. So solve bigger problems. And similarly, as you make effort to solve the biggest problems in your life, you'll notice that your capacity to solve problems in all realms of your life grows. So just solve bigger problems. The smartest people I know obsess on their reputations. Do not play short-term games with your name. My favorite story from Warren Buffett is, he said, if you lose me a dollar, I'll forget. If you lose me one cent of reputation, you will be fired. And that's something I try to remember for myself. The dumbest people I know, they never stop talking.

8:49The smartest people I know, never stop asking questions. The best business school? Being in business. Don't be intimidated by labels or qualifications. Just get your hands dirty and the rest will follow. Don't always trust your self-talk. Your anxiety is lying to you. You will be fine. You've already survived this far. The odds are actually already in your favor. If you're going to do something, go big. Everyone admires courage. No one admires the timid. Failing big is way better than failing small. Do it for the story. There was a quote that stuck with me. She says, I'm going to pray like it's up to God and I'm going to work like it's up to me.

9:27So I kind of think that if you're going to ask the big man for prayers, you better back it up with some work ethic. Otherwise, it's a little bit half-baked. You're not too old. You're just too comfortable. The most addictive drug is comfort. It's also just never too late to start. You know, I didn't get married until I was 33. I didn't make content until I was 35. I didn't start my podcast until I was 37. At 30, I thought I'd peaked. At 39, I know it's just getting started. 39 lessons that I wish I knew then. I hope it makes you guys more money. Tell me your best lessons. Only 13 % of you are subscribed to the YouTube channel and on native podcast apps.

10:09If you're not already subscribed, do me a huge favor. Subscribe now. That helps the show grow. So as my friend, Andy Frisella says, don't be a hoe. Share the show. Hey, if you're a business owner right now and you like the things you were hearing on this podcast, I have something that I haven't talked about publicly before that's just for you. It's called our SMB boardroom. This is for small business owners who want to grow. It is for business owners who are on their way to making at least seven figures a year. If this is you, hit the link down below. Talk to our team. This is the place that can be your late night emergency call for the things that go bump in the night in your business.

10:43If right now you feel like you're plateauing or you feel like you don't know how to handle your growth, we got you. So click the link below, SMB Boardroom. We just built it for you builders, kind of obsessed with it. And I think if you are a builder, there's no place you're going to want to be except here.

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