From Boundaries to Boardrooms: Julia Haart’s Story

0:00Julia Haart:My little six, seven-year-old looks at him and says, okay. So now what's the problem? If I'm responsible for his sins, shouldn't he be responsible for mine? My entire life, they had convinced me that I was somehow intrinsically flawed, that I wasn't okay with the system. No one could convince me that my daughter was. And it's something I'd never spoken about to her. And that simple logic coming from the mouth of a literal child made me realize it wasn't me. It was the laws of the world I lived in and that I wasn't okay with them anymore. And that's the moment I decided I was going to leave.

0:46Welcome back to the BILF pod where authenticity trumps authority. I am here with such a special guest who I truly have the utmost admiration for. I don't know if she knows this, but I did watch all of her episodes. I mean, she is a business mogul. She's a mom. I said already a MILF, a BILF. I mean, really has defied all odds coming from a community where your voice isn't heard, but she made sure that her voice was really heard and went against a lot of people and their opinions, kept the noise out, became a business mogul. I mean, really has created such an empire for herself while being a mom and running a business and now currently, unfortunately,

1:26Julia Haart:going through a divorce, but she looks incredible. So welcome to the show, Miss Julia Hart. Thank you. I'm so excited. Out of all the people that I've interviewed, you really are the most exciting. I tried reaching out to you. Not your fault at all. I had somebody else do it, but you answered right away. I'm just so intrigued by you. You should be so really impressed with yourself and your endeavors and everything you're doing. So welcome. Thank you. It's very kind of you. Thank you. I'm very happy to be here. Thank you. I know this was not easy, but you made it happen. We made it happen. That says a lot about your character.

2:00So we're just going to dive right in. You're good. We're going to dive right into it. So I have my own questions that I prepared for you, actually. You know, coming from a community, and I am familiar with, I am Jewish just like you, but I grew up a little different. I grew up like Reform Conservative, where my uncle was the rabbi that ate shrimp. I love that. That's my kind of rabbi.

2:19Julia Haart:Definitely different type. So I could never imagine for myself growing up in a community where, you know, your voice really wasn't heard. So let's talk about it. Like, when did you finally say, all right, this is not like I'm not doing this. I'm not doing the Shadle thing. I'm not going to be dominated. Like, I'm going to go out. And where was that redefining moment for you? Well, the Shadle thing, I actually, I didn't take off my Shadle until my wig until I'd been out of the community for over a year. Oh, wow. Everything was gradual. But I would say the moment where I decided to leave was when my little daughter, Miriam, she was probably five or six years old, maybe seven, somewhere around that age.

3:00Julia Haart:And she wanted to play soccer. And my husband at the time said, well, you can't because, you know, in my community, girls have to wear skirts. So his response to his six, seven-year-old daughter was, if a man is passing by the field and you kick a ball and because you're wearing a skirt, because you're not allowed to wear pants in my community, a man may see your knees and have inappropriate thoughts about you. And that's your fault and your sin. So you can't play soccer. Wow. And my little six, seven-year-old looks at him and says, okay, well, if I'm responsible for his sins, shouldn't he be responsible for mine?

3:47Julia Haart:And that simple logic coming from the mouth of a literal child. Okay, we're not going to talk about what kind of man is turned on by a seven-year-old's knees. Let's leave that alone for a minute. it. But, you know, my entire life they had convinced me that I was somehow intrinsically flawed, that I wasn't okay with the system. No one could convince me that my daughter was. And it's something I'd never spoken about to her. So hearing the pure logic from the mouth of a literal child made me realize it wasn't me. It was the laws of the world I lived in and that I wasn't okay with them anymore. And that's the moment I decided I was going to leave.

4:25Julia Haart:And it took me eight years to plan my escape. I had no education. I knew nothing about the outside world. I lived an 18th century existence. I didn't have television, radio, newspapers, magazines, movies, nothing. So I went on an eight-year exploration and, you know, read as many books as I could get my hands on and watched television surreptitiously and educated myself, found a way to make money, and then eight years later walked out the door. That's insane. That's insane in such a good way. It's been a crazy journey, let me tell you. It has to be. It's all part of the story. It's all part of it, right?

5:02So now you go and you decide, do you leave with the kids or do you first leave by yourself?

5:06Julia Haart:I left with the kids. First, I took Miriam because Batsheva was already married at the time and Shlomo was in Israel and Yeshiva. So it was first Miriam and then Batsheva came along and then Shlomo came along. So very gradually, I got everyone with me. Of course, My youngest is still religious, but obviously, you know, he's, I love him like crazy and we talk all the time and, you know, he's young. There's still hope. He's young. There's still time. There's still hope. I get it. So now here you are, eight years go by. You're walking out the door and you obviously had some kind of business sense of some sort.

5:44Zero. You had wits.

5:46Julia Haart:You had something. Well, you know, here's the thing. I, you know, I'm a very logical, practical person. I have a pretty high IQ. and the one nice thing about educating yourself is that you don't get bogged down with how things are done. You figure out how things should be done, and then you go and do them that way. Yeah, you just wing it, and you have chutzpah. So the chutzpah and winging it just is great. Well, yeah, it's more than winging. I think it's because I knew I didn't know. I asked a lot of questions. I educated myself. I learned how to make shoes so that I could figure out how to do them better.

6:18Julia Haart:You know, it was, I wasn't shackled and imprisoned by the norm. Right. Because I didn't know what the norm was. Right. And that really helped me. And also I think the fact that I had survived time travel, that's what it felt like. I had left the 1800s. I had gone to the 21st century. So my feeling kind of was, well, if I could time travel and survive starting a business, that should be easy. Yeah. And so that didn't, I just went and did it. That's kind of just what you do, especially when you have children. And what I think people don't understand is the community that you come from really is like time travel.

6:51You don't turn on the lights on Shabbat. Like there's very, very strict rules that don't even apply my opinion, not to offend you. Just they're not applicable for today.

7:02Julia Haart:Well, I think even more than like the rules that restrict travel or turning on lights, it's the role of women that I have the big issue with, you know, So in my world, your biology defines your destiny. If you're born a woman, you're supposed to have babies, get married as a teenager, be subservient and obedient to your husband, then help your children have grandchildren, and then die. Yeah. That's your life. Yeah. You know, a large part of my life, I just kind of felt like a cow in the sense of like I was a baby-making, baby-feeding machine. and we were all interchangeable, you know, and there's no self-autonomy, self-determination.

7:47Julia Haart:You don't really have any optionality in your life. And that's the real issue. You know, if you want to keep Shabbos or kosher, all these things, no problem. They're beautiful. Religion has so much beauty in it. But when you tell me that women, Nashem, Dait, and Kalos, that a woman's mind is light and she's incapable of grasping the same subjects that men are, that's where you lose me. When you tell me that a woman has to be subservient to her master on earth, that's when you lose me. And so, you know, my goal has always been because I have a deep love for the Jewish community. I've been fighting antisemitism since October 7th.

8:27Julia Haart:I have a deep love. I don't care whether you even hate me. I'm still going to love you. And it's just about changing the laws that keep women down. Yeah, I would 100 % agree. That's why I never joined Chabad or the religious community. While I do love the religion very much, I believe in tradition. I believe exactly the same thing. But being Jewish is a part of me. It doesn't encompass all of who I am. And I think that for people that do or women that come from your community, that's hard. That's really hard because you're just Jewish. You don't get to be a hot mom that dresses in stilettos. Well, even if you are, you get to be a mom.

9:05Julia Haart:You don't get to go to Stanford. You want to know how many people from my community went to Stanford? None. Well, but my daughter Miriam did, but of course she left. I'm sure there's maybe one, some other outlier, but otherwise no. Someone sent me a letter recently from the base Yakov, which is the school system I went to in Brooklyn, which was like, if your daughters are going to college immediately, come have a meeting. We don't believe in college and you're destroying your soul and your children's soul and your grandchildren's soul. They want women to be silent, obedient, and subservient. And that's my issue.

9:42Julia Haart:That's my only issue. I love the people in that community. I want them to be safe. I want them to have more. It's that simple. But progression in general. I mean, we've struggled for so many years as women. And I say this all the time. You think that as a society in general, even outside of the Jewish community that we have really progressed and we maybe a little bit, but we've got a long way to go. Yeah, exactly. We have a very, very long way to go. So when you're in a community that's not supportive of that, I agree. I a hundred percent agree with that. And that doesn't mean we don't love our religion.

10:14It doesn't mean it at all because it is beautiful and very traditional. It's just that our voice is bigger than, and we serve a purpose greater for greater than who we are. Exactly.

10:22Julia Haart:I think you kind of always knew that you were different in that way. Well, I always was different. I was always the odd man out because in Russia, I was the Jew. And then I lived in an internment camp for two years because we came out in the 70s, way before Gorbachev and Perestroika. It was still the USSR. It was still Brezhnev. My father was a massive anti-communist who got arrested for keeping Shabbat. And so my parents and I were traded for grain. and I lived in an internment camp for almost a year and a half. So I left Russia when I was three. I came to Austin, Texas when I was five. So I lived in a refugee camp for a year and a half.

11:01Julia Haart:I lived in the Vatican actually, funnily enough. And, you know, so first I was a Jew in Russia. Then I was a person of no country. And then I came to Texas and I was the first Russian in Texas. and then when I went to the 1800s into this very ultra extremist ultra orthodox world I was this Russian kid like there weren't Russian kids back then you know 10 years later there are but in the 70s and early 80s that didn't exist I was always the odd man out and then even when I left my community I don't know too many people who have left my community so I'm still like you know kind of the odd man out.

11:44I feel like that's your superpower. And that's how you are able to make it. I mean, in business in general, there's not a lot of business women moguls. There's not, that's just not what it is, but you've figured it out. So now you go and you create this incredible agency, right? The modeling agencies. And how did you, I mean, this was a huge groundbreaking deal for you.

12:05Julia Haart:Well, to me, it seemed very logical. I saw that the modeling industry was changing. I saw that social media was giving the power to the talent because, you know, historically it was the casting agent, the editor, the photographer, the brand creative director. They had all the power. You could be a hardworking woman. You could be beautiful. It didn't matter. You didn't have the power. Now with social media, the talent has the audience. They bring the audience to the brand. They bring the audience to the creative director. So by literally empowering them and utilizing talent and helping them shape their social media, we basically changed the power dynamic.

12:52Julia Haart:We made the women powerful. We made them in control. And we took a$70 million modeling agency in two years through COVID and built a billion dollar business. Yeah. Just pretty exciting. Yeah, it is. You really took the social media. I mean, social media is huge now. It wasn't as big then. It was getting bigger. So you were able to leverage social media to give women back their voices. Yeah. We used it in a way that people hadn't used it before. Yeah. I remember watching the show thinking, because at that point, I mean, I use Facebook and Instagram, like not huge. And now social media has been a huge platform for women and women's rights and women's voices and modeling.

13:28And I remember I remember watching the show and you being very firm that you wanted the women to hold the power, not anybody else. So they were able to advertise their brand. You started a lot with the branding, which is huge now.

13:40Julia Haart:Because I didn't want them just posting beautiful pictures of themselves. You know, we brought in those who, because just because you can hit a tennis ball or walk a runway, it doesn't mean you can create compelling content. You need producers, directors, filmographers, videographers. So that's what we did in 2019. we helped actually curate and create the content. And, you know, it just kind of exploded. It was doing amazingly well. And I realized it wasn't about the runway at all. And so we signed deep sea divers and mountain climbers and rollerbladers and fencers. I didn't care what you did.

14:15Julia Haart:If you did it better than anyone else and you had an audience, I helped you monetize it. I helped you create your own fortune, your own dynasty. and you know that's kind of the dream is to create this army of financially independent women who never have to ask permission yeah that's the dream outside of their because i remember specifically there was an episode what happens when they age out the models they age out so young and you wanted to make sure that after they aged out they were still able to continue to brand themselves exactly and i remember watching this thinking this woman is genius like not only do you care about them now because they have to have a game plan after it's like you know for the football players what happens to them after?

14:54What are they going to do? You're so accustomed to one world. So what happens after the modeling? What else can they do? Can they do a skincare line?

15:01Julia Haart:Exactly. So you have to prepare while you're in the eyes of the world for the after. So if you can find your passion, find that which really is meaningful to you. So when you stop walking that runway or hitting the tennis ball or throwing the football, people are coming to your social media because you're an expert in X. You're passionate about Y. And then you can take that and monetize it by creating product. And then you can make money while you're sleeping. So, you know, it's about, again, it's shifting the power dynamic. It's putting the power in the hands of the talent. And that's what we did.

15:41And it, I mean, it exploded.

15:43Julia Haart:It really worked. And progressive. I mean, it's continuing to. Now it's, but before social media was not used for, they were posting pictures, you know, they were using it a little bit, but how, I mean, just that business mindset in general says so much about you and being able to be so progressive before it became, now everybody wants to brand. Not everybody was branding that. So that just says so much about you and your character. Your children must be so proud. And they're my best friends. One thing I did notice about you and I, I happen to run the same game plan is being super supportive of our children and why it's important.

16:17And I remember watching this show and you really showcasing the support that you had, whether your son decided if you wanted to be religious and he was teeter tottering with that. And then she was I remember she gets married and you were supportive of that. And they're like, you know, and then you have Miriam who was like figuring out her sexuality and all of these things. And no matter what your children were doing, you were such a supportive mom, regardless.

16:40Julia Haart:Thank you. That says so much about your character. See, I really did do my research. Usually I have the questions written. I know all of this. Was that how, I mean, coming from a world that, I don't want to say narrow-minded, but maybe that is very, maybe narrow-minded, just not as progressive, primitive. That's a better word. How were you able to be so open and accepting when you didn't grow up like that? Do you remember when you're young and you say, I'm never going to do this to my kids? Yes. Okay. I actually wrote an entire diary of I'm never going to do this to my kids. And when I gave birth to my kids, I read it.

17:19Julia Haart:And I made myself a promise that my purpose in life is to help them become the best version of whoever they want to be. Unconditional love actually means that. Not that I'm going to love my kids if they become a lawyer or a doctor or this, or I think they should do that. That's not unconditional love. Right. Unconditional love, my job as a parent was to ensure that A, they knew what they wanted, and B, that I gave them the keys to get them. Right. The education, the wherewithal, the capabilities, but it had to be driven by what they wanted, what their personality was. And, you know, the other promise I made to myself is when with each child when they were born, I looked into their face in bed at the hospital and I promised them that every action I would take in private, I would ask myself, if this became public, would my children be proud of me or embarrassed?

18:28Julia Haart:And if the answer is proud, then it's something I do. And if the answer is not, it's something I don't do. And I think in the end, when your children see that you live by the rules you set for them and that you never lied to them. I have never lied to my kids. They asked me a question about sex when they were younger or something I didn't feel comfortable talking about. I didn't make up stories about storks or I don't know all the other weird things people. I would literally say to them, I think you're too young. I'm not comfortable answering this question. Ask me again in two years. And then when I was ready to answer, I would answer truthfully.

19:04Julia Haart:So they knew that I never lied to them. And so they felt very comfortable asking me questions. And I think the second part is that they knew that as long as they told me the truth, it would be very unlikely that I would be truly upset at them. Just don't lie to me. I never lied to them, and I made sure that they were very truthful with me. And that engenders trust and respect. And I think that's our purpose as parents is to give our children the keys that they need to live the life they want to live. Not the life we think that they should want to live. Yeah, I'm smiling because these are like such parallels to the way that I raise my children.

19:47Look, parents don't come with a set of directions. We have no idea what's right or what's wrong.

19:51Julia Haart:Well, I did raise seven siblings, so I may have had a little advantage. But you had a little advantage. Just as much. When it comes to your children, you're right. It is. It's not, I love you if, you know, you marry Jewish. I love you if, you know, this is your choice. And it has to, and when you keep the relationship open, and I'm not a parent, you know, expert at all by any stretch of the north, psychologist. But I do believe when you're open and honest and you're authentic, regardless of how that looks, I think that children respect you more. They're more open and honest with you. And then you have a thriving relationship between all parties.

20:23Exactly.