From Rock Bottom to Relentless: The Mindset That Changed Everything

0:00Jonnie Parsons:I had everything in the whole world, but something was missing. Money in the bank account, beautiful house, beautiful anything I ever wanted, but I still had this void that was inside. So I ended up going to jail the last time. Within a two-year period, I was in jail probably 18 out of 24 months. man i used to i stole from my mom like you know there's i've done a lot of stuff that i'm not proud of yeah and uh

0:43welcome back to the bilf pod where authenticity trumps authority today's guest really redefines the meaning of purpose. He is a father, a husband. I found out he's a grandfather. When you see him, you're going to be completely in awe because I think he's a gilf. I don't know what's going on over here. But his story is really the true testament of empowerment. So welcome to the BILF pod, Mr. Johnny Parsons. I'm super excited to have you here. Are you excited?

1:11Jonnie Parsons:Yeah, thank you. I'm excited. Definitely. Yeah. So we're just going to dive in then. Yeah. Yeah. Is there anything you want anybody to know about you? Uh, my name's Johnny Parsons and, uh, I'm excited to be here. The, the, uh, the bilf podcast and, and, um, yeah, she pretty much hit the nail on the head. So we're just going to bilf it up today. Let's go. All right, let's go. All right. So I'm going to dig in. I mean, I already kind of know your story, but I feel like everybody has a story. We were talking before, you know, people talk about the triumphs, but they never talk about the failures that led to the triumphs.

1:46And here's the best thing about success is that success, for me at least, is all the failures. That's really what it is. All the failures that you learn from and then you build it into this whole conglomeration of success. That's what I really think success is. It's not like an overnight sensation. But for you, I know your story is pretty rough. So let's get into it and tell me about your background and kind of what happened

2:07Jonnie Parsons:and start there yeah um i think like like you said you know even from from being like a young child i remember actually going to disney world and i would be like the kid that was like climbing up on the the railing or walking on the high concrete stuff and and you know my parents always like oh don't do that don't do that and you know always try to protect me and i think i try to do that for my son as well but um you know i i was the kid that was like they said don't touch the stove, I touched the stove for sure. So I wanted to see why, you know, so I think I kind of lived my life like that from, from a young age.

2:44And, um, I wouldn't say really like rebellious.

2:49Jonnie Parsons:I get, I mean, I guess it was just more like out of curiosity and, um, sometimes it was good and sometimes it was bad, like, you know, going the, the, the route that nobody told that everybody told you not to go down because they wanted to protect you. You ended up learning from it and, and excelling. Whereas sometimes it was like you burned your hand from touching the stove. So, um, that was pretty much my life in a nutshell. I mean, I, I've always been like, uh, a really, I guess you'd call it extra, you know, it was, if, if I played baseball, like I ate, ate, slept, you know, woke up, read the magazines, played, you know, anything that I, that I did, I just was full bore on it.

3:30Jonnie Parsons:Um, sports growing up, I think kind of transformed me into being like a team player and being disciplined from a young age. And, you know, I just kind of, I got to do whatever I wanted to do. My family, I was 15 years after my brother and my sister. And then I had a five year difference between me and my little brother. So my little brother has Down syndrome then. And so I got to do whatever I wanted. I was the 15 year later after the first two kids, my parents like yeah go ahead johnny do whatever you want to do and um you know that like i said it was it it was kind of a good thing and a bad thing at the same time so um i did whatever i wanted you know to a certain extent even when i would get grounded uh my friends in the neighborhood would sneak out and we you know called my dad had this blue astro van and uh we called it the blue bomb and like it was the police.

4:32Jonnie Parsons:So like we'd be out in the neighborhood riding our bikes or whatever, and we'd see the blue bomb and everybody dip off in the woods. Um, but, um, it was, I guess you could call it rebellious, rebelliousness. Um, but, uh, you know, I still got pretty decent grades. Like I was a good kid. Um, and you know, I was, I was focused on, you know, excelling in whatever it was that I was doing, you know, I think for me, even going into high school and stuff, sports kept me straight because you had to have good grades to play sports. And I could say that I definitely could fit in with everybody. I was on the football team, wrestling team, played baseball, played street basketball at night, hung out.

5:17Jonnie Parsons:And the kids were smoking cigarettes in the bathroom. And so I could get along with everybody. And I always had like an outgoing kind of personality where, you know, making people laugh and stuff. So that obviously translated into the party scene, you know, from high school. And, you know, I grew up around a family that like smoking weed. So I thought that was normal. So whenever I got older, I saw them do it. I thought it was something that I would do. And it gatewayed into probably like 11th or 12th grade in high school to drinking a lot, partying after football games. And I got into drugs, you know, at a young age and wasn't really that big a deal for me until I got like until I dropped out of school in the 11th grade, got my GED, went to work.

6:08Jonnie Parsons:I was making my first year ever working for a company. I made more money than my mom. Wow. you know 17 years old three months before my 18th birthday i made like 46 000 when i was 18 wow and just from working like i was only getting like 11 50 cents an hour but like 80 90 hours a week over time i was doing land development so i started i actually widen 192 and holy paul we did 26 miles of highway and i was completely green they you know put me to work on every single crew and I just same thing like I excelled at it like they I wanted overtime they were like all right come in on the weekends you can do mechanic work with the mechanics I would help him we're changing out rollers on you know 490 excavators and changing out engines on d6 dozers and and then during the week I was doing the construction work and I worked on every crew I was laying pipe putting silk fence in grading the roads I was at 18 years old I was on a pc 400 excavator loading 22 off-road dump trucks wow and uh just moving moving mountains figuratively and um literally and uh so like everything i ever did i always went full bore and i showed you know i i never had to ask for money they always just gave me a raise because i showed up every day i had a good attitude like um never complained and you know i was a hard worker and uh got into drugs more in that in that time frame and uh led to my my bottom at 21 years old was completely done uh i had went through like a large amount of money i'd lost my job i was on unemployment due to drug use and i got a dui it wasn't called a dui but it was because i wasn't 21 yet right and uh and they uh they took my license so i couldn't work couldn't even get to work and uh And I spent a bunch of money, basically everything that I had on drugs.

8:11Jonnie Parsons:The first time I ever actually prayed to God, I was on my knees. I was crying. These were like heavy drugs? Yeah, I was on opiates and cocaine, pretty much everything I can get my hands on. I was like, I got to that point. And I call it my bottom. My dad, he's a Vietnam vet Marine, and he's the one who raised me. My mom was working full time. My dad hurt his back the year I was born. so he raised me he showed me how to do laundry he showed me how to cook dinner just instilled values into me that I think a lot of people weren't wouldn't be able to get instilled into them and uh and obviously my mom worked for the post office so rain sleet or snow she was doing what she had to do and uh um so my dad smoked pot for 45 years after he got out of Vietnam and he was actually clean like three years at that time from all drugs and alcohol and uh that night that I hit rock bottom, I was praying to God for the first time.

9:09Jonnie Parsons:And I never, never experienced anything like I experienced that night. Like I had, I had the presence, there was a presence there that was with me. I was in tears and, uh, you know, I just, I want, I was done. I didn't want to live that life anymore. And the next morning, for whatever reason, my dad, and I was two hours away from where I grew up. My dad showed up there and was like, yo, Johnny, you want to come home? And I had, I got clean that day. Stayed clean till I was 27 years old. And in that timeframe, I became a firefighter paramedic. I was a, I owned my own landscaping business. Started in - So now you're back on track.

9:47Jonnie Parsons:21 to 27, I was back on track. Same mentality as before, but I was working for myself, going to school full time. And I was in 12 step meetings with Narcotics Anonymous. And I met my son's mother. My son was born, Braden. He was born when I was 21 years old. 22, early 22. And I just, you know, continued to flourish. 28 years old is I walked into a gas station one day looked over saw beer in the freezer the cooler and just decided that i wanted to go drink i disconnected myself from the 12-step meetings i moved across the state and uh you know that was kind of like my my downfall yeah my pride and ego kicked back in straight up that's what happened you're doing well you're you're like i don't need it i got this house i got that i got a 70 000 truck everything with the white picket fence four bedroom house, two story house, had my own lawn business.

10:56Uh, you know, there was, I didn't have

10:58Jonnie Parsons:a worry in the world, but I was like, I tell people this story is like, um, I had everything in the whole world, but something was missing. Yeah. Like I would come home money in the bank account, beautiful house, beautiful, anything I ever wanted, but I still had this void that was and uh you know i was always always believed in god always very spiritual and i tell people that today like i believe in you know jesus christ my lord and savior but like i don't it's not religious for me it's not religion it's spirituality right you know makes sense religions for people who don't want to go to hell and spiritualities for people who've already been there and don't want to go back.

11:39Jonnie Parsons:So, uh, ended up starting to drink again at 28 and just worse, worse bottom than before. Over the next four years, I had lost my career, lost my business, um, lost custody of my son. I ended up going to jail a few times, um, signed custody over of my son while I was in the county jail and just had like this feeling of like I was I had dug a hole so deep that like I was it was just easier to just keep digging it yeah instead of like trying to climb out and uh and um so I ended up going to jail the last time within two year period I was in jail probably 18 out of 24 months. Wow. And just in and out violating probation and just couldn't stop doing drugs.

12:34And, um, and then the last time I went, I was actually getting ready to

12:39Jonnie Parsons:get off of probation. I was clean and, but I had failed to pay some money. So they, they violated me, went back in and I was in the spiritual dorm and that was like where I found God. Um, it was, the last thing I tried and the first thing that worked. I felt the freest I've ever felt sitting behind bars. And that was my foundation for where I'm at now. My wife wasn't my wife at the time. I'd met her. So she was kind of by my side during that time. And we got out and I'm like, look, I don't want to live that life no more. You know, this is I want you because she gave me the ultimatums. First woman in my life I've ever met that I couldn't manipulate her or, you know, like she would throw my stuff out by the road.

13:29Jonnie Parsons:She popped four holes in my tires with a knife one time when I was trying to go get drunk. And like she, you know, was the one, you know. And so when I got out that time, she's like, look, if you want to move back in with me, you got to marry me. You know, she was a very Christian girl. Yeah. she was singing in the church really great girl and she's like look you know you got to marry me and like American culture is like it's just a piece of paper you know like I got to test drive the car whatever like that's the mentality that I had and I remember going to the pastor and the pastor's like well do you love her and I said yeah he's like well you should marry her then so So we didn't even have the money to get married.

14:14Jonnie Parsons:We lived in an efficiency apartment. I was making$16 an hour running a bulldozer. She barely was making$500 a week cleaning houses for somebody. And we could, like I said, barely afford to do anything. And so the pastor gave us the money to get married to$80 at the courthouse. And we went to Walmart and bought$11 rings. went and got married and uh that was our our beginning you know because like from then on like we just we built everything we have together like she came home one day she was crying she's like oh this lady's yelling at me i was like we'll start your own company she's like okay and it's always the leap of faith right it's always the being scared and like not real like thinking you can do it and and it's but after you take that step you're like all right i'm all in now there's no turning back.

15:09Jonnie Parsons:So, and, uh, she found a vacuum cleaner on the trash pile and that was her sign that started her company. And, uh, so she started doing that. I obviously was still in the construction industry and just wanted to work, work my way up. You know, I started on a bulldozer, wanted to be a foreman, became a foreman, wanted to be superintendent, just continuously moved up the chain and, and, uh, and each project that I, I would switch to, um you know it was like a level up so uh i ended up becoming a project manager and learned learned how to do estimating at the built the bright line railroad i was working for hsr and uh you know i had gotten a call from another guy that was just starting his company out again i'm like yeah i'll come in so i started estimating with him within six months we had 18 million dollars under contract It was me and him in an office.

16:04Jonnie Parsons:And we found estimators, hired every employee, bought all the equipment and, you know, built a pretty good foundation of a company. But the guy was just a scumbag. He was not a good person, didn't pay his bills. And I just couldn't get behind him. and uh so like probably like the third time that he cussed me out i was like you know what i'm done with this i'll find another job and i ended up finding my partner for the company that i'm with now came in as an estimator project manager explained to him the whole nine yards like hey look we can get we can make money you know and uh the first six months there we had our first contract uh and first year we did probably 15 million right and and site work land development work and then that was when he you know asked me to be his partner so we became 50 partner on alliance land development and uh and my wife's company's flourishing she had two cars two crews 65 airbnbs um doesn't work as much anymore but she still goes out in the field every once in a while and uh you know just recently we jumped into um oh i i got custody of my son back as well that was he's lived with me full time for about three years we him and his mom me and his mom split custody with him now every two weeks he's 15 he's he's like i don't want to stay in his room all the time yeah of course that's what 15 years like to do but we get him out we had season tickets to the dolphins uh we go out and play in the mud i got you know, big four wheelers and stuff like that.

17:48Jonnie Parsons:And, um, but just recently dumped into, you know, obviously building, building my brand as myself, you know, uh, you figure that out over the years, like people, you know, you build relationships with people and they follow you if they like you, you know, it doesn't matter where you work, who you work for, you have a relationship with somebody they want to, they want to work with you. It's not the company. So I realized that about myself and, and, you know, folks would tell me because obviously I don't want to get my ego boosted up. I still want to try to remain as humble as possible every single day.

18:24Jonnie Parsons:And they were like, somebody's like, yo, you got a great story. You should write it in a book. Okay. Hey, you got, you know, why don't you tell people how you did that? Just, I was telling you before, like three years ago, I was almost 300 pounds. It's 280 pounds. And I'm the leanest I've ever been. I weighed myself this morning. I was 208 pounds. Oh, congratulations. but just i mean it's not it took three years you know it's okay it's not you know an overnight type deal and and you know that that everything that's happening to me almost kind of happened by default like it just falls into your lap if you stay consistent and you stay disciplined yeah um and uh you know obviously setting goals um and and focusing on on accomplishing those goals you know.

19:11Yeah, you're doing, I mean, I, so there's like a few things that I pulled out out of the things that you're saying. Number one, I don't, I don't, I'm sure you do listen to a lot of people speak, but they say the one most important tool, not tool, but I would say one most important thing that you have to have when you're running something successful is, is to have a partner that is equally vested into you. So that's number one. I would say that it's the same way for my husband and I, you know, he's my biggest cheerleader, greatest fan, and And it's always important. That's what they always say, that you have to have somebody that is your counterpart that is extremely supportive.

19:44But more interesting, there was a lot of setbacks in your life, a lot where many people, and I think a lot of times it's a lot easier to throw in the towel and just be like, fuck it. I don't want to do this. I'm at rock bottom. How am I going to climb my way out of this? And it didn't happen to you once, but it happened twice. So you could have easily been like, you know what? I'm done. It's so much easier for a lot of people to say that. But I think that your story really gives a lot of people a lot of hope that it doesn't matter. And I say this constantly. One of my famous lines that I say is you can fire yourself one day and rehire yourself the next.

20:17And it's so true in your case that no matter how bad things got and how big that hole seemed to be, you managed to climb your way out of that. And I think that's really important for people to understand that, that I, you know, addiction is a real thing, right? It is, it's a real thing. That's what it is. And addiction definitely limits us in many ways, but it doesn't define us. And I love how it didn't define who you are. So that's, I took that from what you said. And then your perseverance, like it didn't matter if the going got tough, you know, you might've got going for a little bit, but somehow you were able to come back.

20:51And, and especially, I love what you said also about spirituality, you know, your relationship with God, I think, or whoever you believe in is completely different, right? It doesn't matter. And your spirituality, you're right, is I think is what keeps us connected, you know, however that looks. And it's different for everybody. So those elements in them. So I would say you had like three great elements in your life. You had a supportive spouse or supportive partner, right? You had the mentality that you're going to keep going, right? And then you also have perseverance. And that's important. And I think no matter what's going on, whether it's mental illness or addiction or whatever it is that, you know, it's there.

21:28It's always going to be present, but you don't have to use it as a crutch. It doesn't, you know, it's real, right. It would have been easier to be like, look, I'm an addict. Like, what do you want from me? A lot of people say that I'm an addict.

21:39Jonnie Parsons:I don't even claim it over my life anymore. Like what can I suffer? I suffer so bad from anxiety and I could have easily been like, well, I have anxiety. I can't, I can't go to work. I can't, I can't do it, but that's just part of who I am. It doesn't, you know, it doesn't define all of who I am. A hundred percent. And it makes you unique, right? Because, you know, I think everybody has like a little bit of like maybe Asperger's or a little bit of everybody has ADD or everybody has, like, it's not who you are. Like, but, you know, if you claim that over your life, like, oh, well, I got, I got autism.

22:14Jonnie Parsons:I'll never be able to do that. Well, guess what? You've already failed before you tried because you said you couldn't. Yeah. I think your belief in yourself specifically says a lot about your character too, that no matter what has happened, you've been able, I think you said it best is consistency. You know, it's not, you can't just, you know, the one thing I think people really don't understand whether it's, you know, building a business or building your body, you can't just do it like sporadically, right? You have to do it all the time. And it's not instant results because you said it took you three years to lose the weight and build your body.

22:46So it's sticking with it and it shows discipline. It shows, you know, consistency and all of intentionality and working with purpose. And so many people forget those principles in life. And then they look and they're like, I don't understand. Like, what happened?

23:01Jonnie Parsons:I think everybody, we all hear it growing up. Yeah. Society tells it. Well, society wants us to believe that it's instant, right? That you can just buy a pill or you can take the, you know, something and you're going to be skinny or you're going to be, you know, you're going to be don't have anxiety anymore. No, that's just a temporary solution to an ongoing problem. Yeah. You know, it ends up becoming like a mindset thing. And until you actually, for me, until I actually did it and then started seeing results, I always just would start seeing results and be like, oh, yeah, I can see like three abs and then quit.

23:32How do you keep your focus? I mean, that's hard. That's really hard, especially with losing weight or building a business. How are you able to state what keeps your focus?

23:42Jonnie Parsons:I think habits. Habits. I think doing the same thing every single day. Yeah. And then even if I like, I do the same thing every day. I have, there's, I'm very much a creature of habit. So, but good habits versus bad habits. So, um, going to the gym, waking up in the morning and doing the same thing every morning, reading my Bible before I leave the house. I'm, you know, kind of just getting myself spiritually ready. And I, you know, I haven't, it's been such a long time that I haven't done what I do now that like i don't know what it is to to to just be meandering through life like i used to yeah um like before i walk out of my door in the morning i'm i'm armored up and i guess that's how and and i just like set my day like i know what i have to do before i even leave the house like i have my schedule set for the day i already use a calendar not really like people think i'm crazy I got a good friend of mine that's been a real big, I call, you know, he got me off of the bench.

24:42Jonnie Parsons:We'll call him that guy. Right. Yeah. He got me in the game. So he's like, man, I told you you got to use your calendar. I'm like, man, Ray, I don't, I just, I don't know. I got it all here. I would say you got to use your calendar. Well, you're young still. You're not even 40. You're not 40 yet. Right. No. Yeah. That's why. See, yeah. See, that's when I turned 40. But I'm learning how to like talk to my phone now and stuff. I saw people. You can set alarms. Yeah. That works. I'm like moving in that direction. All right. You're going to get there. You're going to see because once you turn 40, the brain starts like not.

25:11You're going to see. I do the alarm thing and I never thought I'd use a calendar and I do use a calendar. I use anything that I do because I'm the same thing. Like, oh, I'll remember. But once you turn 40, I'm going to be like that. I'm telling you and the more businesses and podcasts and everything else, you're going to have to have some kind of system.

25:26Jonnie Parsons:I'm definitely moving in that direction for sure. You're finally coming. Well, I'm putting on paper like what I'm going to do for the day or for the week. And like I said, I'm starting to utilize the technology to be able to help me out. You're still using paper, though. You can put it in your notes. Sometimes. Yeah. So some things it's better to put on paper. Yeah, I agree. I still use paper for some things. I do. I use paper when I want to write my thoughts out and what I have to say. I still will use. I still will use paper. But I do use the notes. I mean, I am in the technology era. I'm getting good.

25:56I set the alarm. So I look at my calendar every day in my Google calendar. and then I set the alarm because you know the brain after 40 ain't remembering everything and then I set the alarms.