Jade Shenker: How to Negotiate Like a Boss, Ignore the Haters & Build Wealth on Your Own Terms

16:08Mara Dorne:Now what? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, it's just been a process of figuring it out. And yeah, look, like I spend a lot of money. Like I was like, okay, well I have to learn how to do this. Like I have to learn how to save, which I'm still learning how to do. To ever, to ever evolve and invest that, that I'm actually decent at. And, and just like manage life.

16:40Jade Shenker:Yeah.

16:41Mara Dorne:Yeah. So, so that, that was kind of, that was kind of my journey. And what's really cool is after – well, it's not cool, but it's cool that I get to see it is right after Finding About the Infidelity, I got greenlit for the show on Netflix. so we started filming and then the last four years has just been like a mix of filming working show airing and then being able to actually become like a businesswoman in all senses yeah of course you know because I think again going back to like the college person who was like okay well attention and communication is is the driving force to everything if you're able to communicate learning or experience or sales or legal stuff.

17:31Mara Dorne:It's like, that's, I think that's the core focus of any business endeavor. I mean, it's a big, look, you went,

17:38Jade Shenker:a lot of things that you said, a lot of women go through it. You know, you went a pretty traditional route as far as like going from, you know, living at home with your parents to all of a sudden you're married, your wife, you're still reliant on a man, you know, per se. then everything kind of changes, shifts. And here you are in this like weird world of like in between, you know, it's time to adult. And I think a lot of women kind of get stuck because they don't know what to do. You know, where do I go? I've been, you know, I've been somebody's significant other or daughter for so long. Well, where's my identity in all this?

18:13Jade Shenker:And I love how you kind of, I mean, you own it, you say it, but then not only do you own it, you come into like a woman into adulting and doing like things that you that you probably were really uncomfortable with. So now you negotiate. I mean, like, think about that. That's a huge transition. You went from like, really a little girl to a woman, you know, all in that four years. And now I mean, you're at the table negotiating huge contracts with high net worth people. That's a lot to be said. Yeah, you should be proud of yourself.

18:42Mara Dorne:No, I am like, I think and a reality TV show at that.

18:45Jade Shenker:Thank you.

18:46Mara Dorne:It's great. It's funny because I do feel like as far as dealing with clients, that's where I'm most comfortable. Because again, for that, that's something I was always, since I was 15, talking to people, understanding their goals, understanding the ecosystem of the person. Yeah. um but for me like doing it for myself it was like so different right and and um it's funny because like when you're on a reality show and you're also going through uh what my astrologist calls the dark night of the soul which is like your hardest hardest moments um i remember like on the show I were filming for like six months and I was like I'm expressing all this stuff like I have to win after this like this is on tv this isn't just national this is global tv and I'm now uh the person that all these women are gonna look at and be like okay where is she now like she went through this crazy moment found out she was cheated on um and like that was probably the scariest moment because I was like oh my gosh like everyone's watching me like I'm writing this story but like I don't know the ending but the ending has to be good yeah I have to win yeah yeah it's like it's like being at the gym when like like if everyone's watching you like perform something you're like okay this has to be good but also like I don't know how it's gonna end um so that was like probably the hardest point um but again like that's why i love like platforms like tiktok for example because if you if you share everything people can see like life's not just oh my gosh you're a stunning woman who has a business no there's ups there's downs there's all these things that that happen in between and right you know yeah i mean i think it's so

20:50Jade Shenker:important, especially for your generation, because there's, I work with your generation a lot. And I would say that there's a huge difference. And I don't think it's either good or bad. I just see it like in quality of work and the angst to that hustle. I don't see it as much like within your generation, that hustle, that fire. So here you are, you know, you are hustling, you have that fire in you. You're, I mean, is it intimidating for you when you're meeting these high net worth clients are you ever do you ever feel like oh my never you never feel like that never I I've gotten intimidated with like if if someone is I'm trying to think of like a time that I've been in with

21:32Mara Dorne:high network people never like because I don't know like I just that's good I mean that that's

21:38Jade Shenker:good it's like when people ask me do you ever feel like because now I use like the male dot industry like to my advantage but I never felt like that I never felt like I just felt like I worked with my peers yeah it was never like male dominated until somebody pointed it out so like people would ask like were you ever uncomfortable and I was like I don't think that I even realized it was male dominated yeah so maybe the same thing for you like yeah they're high net worth people but like they're people you know it's not they're not that's just the label that we gave them so So you – I mean you have done so many amazing things in such a short period of time.

22:11Jade Shenker:For somebody that is in real estate or insurance or, you know, in the sales world, what would be like one play that they could take out of your playbook?

22:23Mara Dorne:To not listen to anyone else but yourself. Yeah. Because what you don't realize is there's a lot of people who are going to tell you to be something that they're not. and they want you to fit into a box. And a lot of that subconsciously may be them being afraid of you succeeding. Yeah. And sometimes it is people within your circle who are close to you and they can love you and that could be amazing, but you don't know what their subconscious is afraid of. And if you listen to them and you listen to all the noise, you're not living authentically and there's a reason there's a voice in your head telling you to do something yeah do it that's what i think is the biggest thing yeah i love that yeah yeah that's um yeah i think that's the biggest thing um and for me like my experience has been every time i listen to that little voice really cool things happen yeah because you know that gut is not wrong it's not if it's saying

23:32Jade Shenker:don't do it. Don't do it. You know, you know, you, that voice, like I always say, there's like a good angel and there's a bad angel. Right. And then there's like the internal voice. And if the good angel is outweighing the bad angel, don't do the bad with that bad angel. But when the internal voice like is saying something to you and they're telling you it feels wrong or that person's not aligned with you or whatever it is, like it's just noise. And you're absolutely right. Listen to your gut every single time. It will win. Nobody wants to believe it. And I love how you said, just do it. Like that's my favorite slogan by Nike.

24:06Jade Shenker:Just do it. Like stop getting in the way of you and just do it. You're your worst critic. Just do it. It's not that hard. Yeah. No, it really isn't. When it comes to, okay. So when it comes to negotiations and I'm sure you've negotiated some like amazing contracts, like give us a little bit about that framework.

24:24Mara Dorne:set me up for that what does that look like i i love like that's like my favorite part

24:28Jade Shenker:um because again like that's play hardball are you like do you stand firm uh it depends

24:35Mara Dorne:to be it's like almost like um it depends on the best analogy that i give to negotiation is playing tennis knowing your opponent yeah or the person on the other side because again we're trying to get to the same we're trying to get to the end goal so i never want to say opponent but in tennis it is your opponent. So understanding the player, their objective is to get a good deal, right? You want a good deal. So for me, it's always balancing, okay, well, how do they communicate? Are they also trying to get to the finish line? And do I have to just understand what their needs are? Because whoever I'm representing, whether it's a tenant, we could probably throw in some things that's going to help the person on the other side that for us don't mean anything.

25:27Mara Dorne:Like to us, it's pretty easy. And for that side, my phone keeps, like it's like blowing off the hook.

25:33Jade Shenker:I'm going to throw it over there.

25:36Mara Dorne:It's like ringing off the hook. But when negotiating, it's understanding what's really important to the other person and what's really important to the client that you're working with. And then once you have that, all of the middle stuff is just creativity because you can go with the base things of, okay, well, let's just say we're negotiating a lease, right? We can say, okay, for that lease, we're going to put in certain capital improvements and we're going to do, I don't know. There's so many different scenarios. I was, but when you understand your, your opponent's like goals, you can like kind of finagle.

26:24Mara Dorne:Yeah. Like take a little bit. Yeah. I'm like, I'm, I'm being very cautious.

26:28Jade Shenker:My words. I get it. Cause I just bought a, I just bought a sixplex. Okay. So like for me, my goal was I wanted to have income. I wanted it, but I also did not want to spend an arm and a leg. I knew that I can take a fixer-upper. I also knew that I wanted them to be fully occupied. And I knew that like for me, the end goal is obviously to have cash flow. Maybe not now, but like in 20 years, I'd like to have cash flow. So like the seller, which I don't, I don't do real estate, so I don't really know much about it. But like the seller, I'm assuming because the price was where it was

27:03Mara Dorne:at is that the seller wanted to sell, you know, and you can kind of tell from like the offer that

27:08Jade Shenker:that they came back. So when you say like finagling and understanding, like I get what you're saying. And I'm trying to get into real estate myself now. I like this BRRRR method. That's a term, right? Yeah. So I'm like into this BRRRR method thing.

27:19Mara Dorne:Oh, I love that.

27:20Jade Shenker:I'm like researching, girl. Maybe this will be my second career, real estate. Yeah.

27:24Mara Dorne:Oh my gosh. I think real estate is like the coolest thing ever. You meet the coolest people, you know? And what I love about real estate too is, so you mentioned like high net worth people, right?

27:35Jade Shenker:Most real estate people, you won't even know if they're high net.

27:39Mara Dorne:You won't know if they're worth a billion dollars or a hundred thousand. Everyone looks the same. They act the same. And they're people that are real, I would say, business entrepreneurs. I feel real estate people are entrepreneurs. And they're quirky. And I found that out through dating. I was like, oh wow like I know my clients but I never when I'm like with a client I'm so locked in it's almost like being autistic you know like I'm like I'm so damn I'm getting in like a good way like you know I get it don't worry we'll cut that part yeah we'll cut it so you don't get canceled it's almost like um being so focused that's a good word yes it's like just like understanding that.

28:29And I was like, oh crap.

28:34Jade Shenker:But once you understand the client, it's a lot easier or your opponent or the person that is on the other side of the table, it's a lot easier to just kind of make that deal happen.

28:43Mara Dorne:Yeah. Yeah. One of the things now that you're getting into real estate is seller financing. So that's something, that's a concept that in the last couple of years with interest rates being a bit higher than obviously they were during COVID and people wanting to sell for a certain price. One of the happy mediums that we have seen is sellers offering seller financing. So when a seller wants to have a certain bottom line and a buyer wants to come in and get a better interest rate, that's where rather than selling something for say 2 million, the owner actually nuts maybe 2.6 million dollars it gives a lower finance or it gives them lower interest rate correct so those are things that um or or you can do uh one thing that i was talking about with my clients so we're in right now we're in soho right i do a lot of work in tribeca and we're looking for a rental for 25 or for 14 000 per month and he was like okay at the end of his 12 months he wants to purchase something.

29:50Mara Dorne:Okay. So we're looking at stuff, this and this. His friend sends him a property and the property is worth 3.2, sorry, 3.5 million dollars. Right. He's like, I really love this. And I was like, let's backtrack. Because if you are going to buy something in a year by renting something for$14 ,000 a month. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. Yeah. Why can't you rent to own? that's exactly so we're like okay maybe we'll do a contract of sale that closes in six months you pay rent to them for say twenty thousand dollars a month right that twenty thousand goes towards your down payment so at the end of the six months rather than paying rent to someone else that you're you know kind of just losing right it goes into it goes into your down payment of something that you would have already wanted to purchase that's so smart yeah i love that so those are a lot of situations i'm gonna throw this here this is what this is like a real life of like i

30:50Jade Shenker:know that's why my phone is over there because yeah everyone will call me everyone and their mom will call me so i live i leave it over there yeah especially like different time zones too

30:58Mara Dorne:like sometimes like i remember um i started dating and it was it was whenever i first started dating this guy and he's like why do men keep calling you at like 12 in the morning california they're

31:11Jade Shenker:on Pacific Standard Time. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I was like, it's okay.

31:16Mara Dorne:Yeah. Or I do a lot with like, with like Europe and Israel. And I'm like, it's just like how they work.

31:23Jade Shenker:Yes, on those time. All right, girl, ready? We're gonna have some fun. All right. We're gonna switch gears and you're gonna quick answer. Yes. No overthinking. Luxury or leverage? Would you rather have a bigger budget or better leverage? Better leverage. Deal or no deal? What's a non-negotiable for you when you're choosing clients?

31:44Jade Shenker:Excited. Okay. Like them being excited. New York City energy. What's the most, only a New York thing that happens in a deal? Like only what happened here in New York?

31:59Mara Dorne:You're walking through the building and there's dead rats and the smell of dead rats.

32:05Jade Shenker:Oh, that's so, I don't think I could deal. Ew. Yeah. No, I couldn't do that. Oh, I can't. You got to. No, I could not do that. I don't know. And now I think you just turned me off. I want to do something because my daughter's coming here. All right. So we're going to switch gears real quick again. So reality show. I know we only talked like briefly about it. You know, reality show, reality TV is still TV. I mean, some of it, I'm sure there's realistic parts. But how do you kind of get your authenticity out there when you're filming?

32:36Mara Dorne:I forgot the camera's there.

32:38Jade Shenker:That's a good answer. So you just act yourself the whole time? Yeah, yeah.

32:42Mara Dorne:That's been like the biggest compliment I get. People are like, oh, you're the same exact, yeah, 100%.

32:46Jade Shenker:And how do you deal with people that have something negative to say about you?

32:50Mara Dorne:Which is every day. So what do you do?

32:52Jade Shenker:Do you just kind of like, whatever? I feel like you've made it when people talk shit about you.

32:55Mara Dorne:Yeah. I feel like it's great. I don't know. Like, I don't want to be you. Yeah, like, I don't care.

32:59Jade Shenker:You don't pay my bills. Keep scrolling. I don't get this. People leave negative comments on your social media. or like then keep scrolling why would you even take the time to write the negative comment

33:08Mara Dorne:like what are we doing here i know and i'm like oh like even like my cast members or people around

33:13Jade Shenker:like i don't care about you yeah what happens when they kind of publicize your life maybe not in the perception that you'd want i mean are you like okay i'm sure you are it used to bother me

33:26Mara Dorne:and now i just i'm like oh like i look in the mirror and i'm like oh we're talking about me again.

33:32Jade Shenker:That's the only way you can do it. And then people create their own perception. But I'm sure there's tons of young women that you're influencing too, like in a positive way. So for every, I'm sure for every negative thing, you probably get three or four positives, you know, positive reviews as well. I mean, my daughter, you know, I was telling you, she's 18. She's coming in, like, I would love for her to talk to you. You are such a positive vibe and such an inspiration to the younger generation. And I love how you just kind of own it. Like, I love how you sat down and you You're like, yeah, it was divorce, whatever, next.

34:00Mara Dorne:Oh, I love that. Yeah, because, you know, you learn so much in a divorce. Oh, yes. About yourself. Oh, my gosh.

34:07Jade Shenker:About the other person.

34:08Mara Dorne:Yeah, about negotiating. Negotiating, yeah.

34:11Jade Shenker:That was – I didn't have anything to negotiate, so it really didn't matter for me. We had no money. We were broke, so it was fine. It just worked out in that way.

34:18Mara Dorne:Yeah, well, honestly, Baruch Hashem, like, that makes it easy.

34:21Jade Shenker:Ah, Baruch Hashem, yes. Yeah. I didn't know you were – I didn't know you're yeah a little bit

34:29Mara Dorne:oh I love that

34:30Jade Shenker:I can't tell that I'm Jewish we'll have to cut this out edit it out

34:35Mara Dorne:wait no I love that yeah no but you speak Hebrew yeah a little bit oh my gosh no I wish I spoke

34:41Jade Shenker:my first husband was Israeli

34:45Jade Shenker:makes sense now from Fort Lauderdale, Miami makes sense now now it does now I know I knew as soon as you sat down I could tell I could smell Jews from miles away I could see it right away All right, girls. So as we end, we're going to wrap it up. I need you to give some like drop it, like drop the mic type advice to any young woman out there that wants to be an entrepreneur, get into real estate, just any kind of entrepreneurial business.

35:14Mara Dorne:Leverage your network. I used to be so afraid of being myself. And I remember I'd be in these rooms, whether it was a club or whether it was a gala. And as a young woman, you play a different success playbook than men. A man is easily respected. A woman has to earn that respect. And I think if you're able to look at that strategically and be like, okay, well, I am not intimidating to most and I can get into rooms a lot easier because I'm not intimidating. If you're able to leverage those rooms and those situations and be focused in your goals and what you're trying to do and your relationships, there's so much room for success and whatever you do.

36:09Mara Dorne:So I think that's the biggest thing that I've learned. That's amazing. And what's next for

36:13Jade Shenker:you?

36:14Mara Dorne:Oh my gosh. You know, I think, I think there's a lot of things, you know, delving more into the, uh, investing in companies and trying to be a bigger and better voice for what I needed when I was getting into the industry. Um, you know, I'm coming out with a course to just like help people a little bit, like commercial real estate focus, but I just, I want to be able to just inspire people and offer advice because I'm not great at like responding to like every like email or DM. And I feel really grateful to have such wonderful women who watch the content that we post. And I want to be able to show like how you do things.

36:56Mara Dorne:I love that. And if people were if they want to find you, where would they find you? You guys can find me on Instagram. My Instagram is just my first and last name, Jade Shanker, or TikTok. TikTok, I'm very authentic, Jade S. Shanker, or email. And yeah, those are my channels.

37:15Jade Shenker:I mean, you are just everywhere. I love it. Your energy is just infectious. I love it. I mean, if you're watching today's show, you already know the deal. Hit like, subscribe, tell a friend. And you know what? If you don't like it, just unsubscribe. It's okay. and obviously if you've watched owning manhattan then you know that jade doesn't just negotiate deals she sets standards and that's what i you know that's what you need to do i want you guys to really think about that think about something that you're just kind of not putting your foot down and think about the standards or maybe the boundaries that you need to set for yourself that's my challenge to you and again if you like the show then stay tuned for more amazing episodes but i just want to thank you for coming on hanging out i love it i love that you're inspiring young women.

37:59Jade Shenker:I love that. You just are unapologetically you. I love that for you.

38:02Mara Dorne:Thank you. Ooh, I love that unapologetically you. Yes, you are. I love it. All right, guys, until next time, we'll see you on the BILF pod.