Kelly Bensimon on Luxury Deals, Life Lessons & Living Bold

0:00I've retired from modeling many times and what my agent used to always say is like everyone's always like oh I want to be like Kelly Bensimon. He's like well you have to go to college and then you have to write seven books and then you have to start with magazines and you have to do all these things. And they're like wait she did all this stuff? I thought she was just on TV. You know just because people didn't know who I was doesn't mean that I hadn't done the work.

0:30You wanna be a boss today.

0:40Welcome back to the BillPod where authenticity trumps authority. Now, if you know real estate, then you know Kelly Ben Simone. Well, you have an extensive history, but I know we're focusing big time because you are a big real estate guru. And I love that you're just like a badass woman. That is amazing to me. So welcome to the show, girl. I know. I'm so excited. Welcome back to New York. Yes, I love it here. This is like my kinder spirit space. This is where you're from. I love it here. This is your vibe, family vibe. It's so vibey here. I just love everything about it. And you are very New York.

1:14Look at you little hot mama over here. Well, welcome to the show. I was like, I have to dress up today. I was like, I have to like. I don't think it takes much for you because you're beautiful. Oh, thank you. I think everything just looks good on you. Thank you. You're wearing the clothes they don't wear you. I'm just going to hang out here. I'm going to live here. nestle, nest in here? Well, you are a true boss. So BILF stands for boss I'd like to follow, but I think you're like the real boss I'd like to follow. Oh my gosh. Wow. Thank you. I mean, look at your accolades, TV personality, author, model.

1:45I mean, girl, come on. That's incredible. Thank you. And you did all that. I feel so gorgeous. You feel, you are gorgeous. Thank you. All right. So I heard, or I know, that you started modeling at 15 years old. So tell me a little bit about that. So I started modeling. I'm from Brockford, Illinois. And I started modeling when I was 15. And that kind of set the stage for this balance that I learned at a very, very young age of going to school and also working. So I always had to, you know, time, effort, resources. I always had to be on time. I always had to be prepared. And I always had to be ready for anything.

2:24So my papers had to be done because I was modeling. Who knows where I was going to be in London or Africa or wherever I was going to be. And I obviously had to finish high school. And so I learned at a very, very young age how to balance, not work life, but work work. Yeah. And discipline, obviously. Major discipline. So you want to hear something funny? Like, side note, it's off. The questions are going to kill me, but I don't care. My other side of the family is from Springfield, Illinois. Are they? Yeah. Oh, my God. Isn't that crazy? I love that. That's so crazy. It's insane. Every time I tell people that, they're like, what?

3:00I'm like, yeah, I know. I love that. So the Midwest met New York and then they had me. Yes. And here I am. Yes. So let's talk a little bit about the supermodel diet. Do you, I mean, is this like a real thing? So the supermodel diet, I wrote that in 2010 because I have two girls and we were talking all about like being skinny and I was a model for so long and I had every single eating disorder you could have, I tried. Yeah. So I tried the bulimia. I tried the not eating. I tried everything. So I was like, oh, my God, everyone else is doing it. I should do it, which is like that's just such a young mindset kind of thing.

3:35It's awful, but I was a victim to that. And just anything to be skinny. And so I just, when we were on Housewives, I was just like, this is not my vibe. It's like healthy options today. I can make you hot. I can make you smoking hot all day long because I lived my life outside of trying all these cockamamie, awful, get skinny quick tricks. I had such discipline. So I was like, what am I doing? This is so not me. And so I have really spent the past, since 2010, just really talking to women about taking care of themselves. And it's like, this is it. This is your body. This day is never going to come back again.

4:17And we're never going to have the same body, the same mindset, all these things again. So you have to take care of yourself. And it's been really, really important for my girls, especially when they went to our girls' school. They were raised by me. And just really, really important for women and men alike. People don't realize how many men also have serious eating issues. And so the food uniform is something that's critical to your everyday life. and it goes back to what you were talking about at the beginning about discipline. So if Monday through Friday you are eating well, so whatever that is for you, then on Saturdays and Sundays you can do whatever you want.

4:57But you have to have the consistency. It's like you can't expect to do well in work if you're like, I was partying until 4 o 'clock in the morning. I showed up to work and I smelled like booze. People are going to be like, we don't want you. The person that's doing well is the person that's showing up. They're ready. They're able. They're willing. They're excited. Those are the people that really start to succeed. And like you said also at the top about that authenticity and that actually being there is much more important than the smartest person in the room is always going to be the smartest person in the room, but they need the minions to get the work done.

5:31And those are the ones that really people like me who are like working, working, working, getting things done well. And eating well is super important. I mean, you can't be a boss if you're not eating well. It just doesn't work. It's all part of, you know, it's funny that you say that. I'm sorry. It's like all like everything you were saying. I was like, well, that goes back to that. That goes back to that. It's funny because like I think Allison's right. We are very parallel. So having a daughter, especially, I have a 17 and a half year old daughter. And growing up like with my mom, it was a big deal always being skinny.

6:05Like this is something that we strive for forever. I remember just growing up with like low fat Twinkies. Everything in my house was like NutraSweet, low fat, no fat. This is how I grew up. Like you did not eat a carb. So now my daughter is 17 and a half and she struggles. And I'm trying to explain to her, but it's hard to explain. And would you agree, because you know more about this than me, that diet and the way that you look, it starts with what you put in your mouth. It's 80%. Like you can work your ass off in the gym, but if you're eating like shit, it's not working. Well, didn't Garfield say the diet is diet with a T?

6:37Like back in the day, like that was a funny cartoon. I mean, it's really not diet. It's a food uniform. It's like if you want to be an athlete, you have to eat a certain way. If you want to be successful in life, you have to eat a certain way. If you want to be a Ferrari, you have to treat your body like a Ferrari. I'm not going to be like, oh, my God, let me drink a Diet Coke and see what happens. Yeah, you're not going to put 87 fuel in your Ferrari. You're not going to do that. I did that. I used to drink a lot of Diet Coke. But after doing the quarter test, I was like, I'm not drinking any more Diet Coke.

7:13Yeah, but I think everything's in moderation too. I'm not saying start yourself and don't ever take a bite of chocolate. That's why the food uniform works. And you asked me, is it sustainable? And it is sustainable because your Monday through Friday has always been like that. You've always had that mindset since you were young. Like you went to school, you had your lunch, you did your homework, you did your after school activities, you went home, you did your homework, and then you woke up the next morning and did the same thing. So that kind of discipline and that pattern has already been ingrained in you for so long.

7:43So to change it up, it's like, why? If it's not broken, don't fix it. I agree. So any other plans for a cookbook? Anything in the works? I mean, I make food. I make food. So I worked with the most amazing chef, Chef Seth Levine, and we cooked a lot of really healthy, fun recipes. And then I wanted to do an homage to my mom who made, you know, she always loved to like make food for us. What's your favorite cuisine? You know, I just, I mean, I love all different kinds of food, but I mean, I really love Mexican food. I do. I don't know. I just, I'm like, maybe it's just because like in Illinois, we had like no good Mexican growing.

8:19I was like, wow, what is this? This is avocado. Oh, this is really good. Yeah. It was like spicy, delicious. So yeah, I just think that there's, I just think that that life is about consistency. And also, I was watching some of your Instagram. You and I are very similar because we're very list-oriented. Not long lists. We're like one, two, three. I feel like we look alike, too. I'm looking at you. I'm like, am I looking at myself? I know. We have similar hair. Yeah, right? And the hand movements. Yeah, it's kind of freaking me out. But you're really good with the lists. You're really good with keeping things simple and short, three things you need to do today.

8:58And that's how I've always been. Maybe it's my magazine business. or I just always think of like, let's categorize things. Let's put things in a micro box so we can get things done. Yeah. It's not that hard either. It's about intentionality too. Just do it. That's what I say. That Nike came up with the best slogan. Just do it. Just do it. Stop procrastinating. Just fucking do it. What is that? It's so hard about this. Right. I don't even understand. But I think it all goes back to discipline because you did modeling. I did bodybuilding for a little bit. Oh, you did? Oh, wow. I just did it to lose weight.

9:28Oh, holy cow. I had a baby and then I was like, I got to get the weight off first. So let me try the most. But bodybuilding is like serious. Bikini. Like I did, I worked with a coach and, but bodybuilding, yeah, to build muscle back. So, but it teaches you discipline and it also allows you to be creative in your own way. So how do you think your modeling has influenced you in your creative space? That uniform. In your branding. That uniform. That's what it all goes back to the same thing. How to dress, how to be ready for everything. you know I mean even like going even like down to like nude underwear like always wearing nude underwear when I would go to work that's so funny I literally when I was getting my stuff ready today I was like oh I gotta make sure I have the nude underwear yeah I mean just like little tiny things that really um always being like when I was when I was a model I mean you know back in the ice age but you know so long ago we had to always wear black dresses and my first audition with Patrick de Marchier for Vogue I was wearing white white trentured sneakers white shorts and a white tennis polo.

10:25And my agent was like, yeah, he's, you're, you're booked for Vogue tomorrow, but don't ever wear that again. And, and Patrick was always like, yes, Kelly, she's so cute and fun and fresh. Um, and my agent was like, no, we don't want cute, fun and fresh. We want you to be in a black dress and simple so they could kind of see the outline and see what you look like. And so I always thought to myself, okay, that's what that looks like just to keep it simple. And so in my book, I call it K I S S keep it simple, stupid, just keep things simple. That's funny. That's what we use in my sales industry. Everything is KIA.

10:55Don't overcomplicate the sales process. Rules keep us safe. Yes, but very easy rules. I know. But then you can break them too, but just know what the rules are. Once they're out of control and all over the place, it just doesn't make sense. My husband's that way. He makes these formulas. I'm like, Seth, nobody understands what you're even talking about. Just make it easy. I love that. I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but if the directions are easy, anybody can do it. But you don't have to be the sharpest tool in the shed. You just have to have the tools in your tool belt. Yes, yes. That's all you need.

11:25You just need the tools. You don't need to be the best. You just need to be the one that has the right tool. I say the best. I know to use a hammer when I need a hammer. Not like, oh my God, let me try a screwdriver because maybe that'll work. Yeah, no, no. It's easy. Let's not complicate it with a special hammer that has a thing on it. Okay, so now I have to start bodily building because we're kindred spirits here. We are. But it's parallel to everything that we do. It's keeping it simple, keeping everything kind of aligned. And I know also you have an MBA. I have a master's degree. You're smarter.

11:54Did business. But I did not. I did criminal justice just to shut my mom up. But there's a big controversy about education lately. And for me, I don't know if you were brought up like this, but I was brought up like, you have to go to college. I didn't know there was a choice to go to college. I thought everybody just went. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. I mean, there was no, there wasn't even an option. And I was doing really well in modeling. And my dad was like, yeah, you're going to be in college. Yeah. It was like this. there was just no choice. Like you were going to college and college wasn't enough.

12:23So then my mom was like, all right, cause law school was my trajectory. And I was like, well, we'll see. So I got a master's degree. So how important do you view education? I mean, again, it goes back to knowing those rules and that foundation. And you know, I want everybody to have a baseline, just have a baseline. If you have a baseline, you can go anywhere, absolutely anywhere, But you have to have a baseline. I agree. College teaches you that too. It does. It teaches you the formula. So you're just like, oh, I know what to do. I'm just going to throw this there, that in there, put it in the Queensland art, and boop, it's going to come out.

13:00It does. I think college is – I mean, I think this. I've veered away from forcing because I don't think my son is going to go to college. I want him to go, and I think that he needs the foundation. And I think college – like for my daughter, my daughter has to go to college. There's like, no, we're not veering away from that because she needs that. She needs to go there and experience it. And college teaches you so many fundamentals that they don't prepare you for in life. But my son, he's different. I do think he needs some sort of education. So I'm like, I always teeter back and forth. But I think college, I mean, I venture to say college is really important.

13:34It is important. I think what's also interesting, too, is like Harvard Business School, if you follow them online, they have all these free classes that you can take. So as long as you're in a class that is helping you to be a better version of yourself, taking one class, taking another class, I mean, I'm always learning something new. Now my youngest daughter's like, Mom, we're learning Italian. I'm like, okay, we're learning Italian. I love it. So if you're constantly learning things and you're always evolving, but it's always the same thing. It's like every single thing that you learn has a baseline, whether it's learning a language, whether it's learning a new trait, whether it's learning social media, whether it's learning marketing, whether it's learning, you know, becoming a doctor, everything has, you have to have a baseline.

14:16You have to have a baseline. I agree. So just, you know, encouraging him to be curious. He needs to get something. Is the best thing ever. It's the best thing. Yeah, if he wants business and he just needs to go a little, just take some business courses. Right. Just take a course. You never know. It's constant. You're ever learning. I mean, who doesn't want to learn all the time? It's constant. In this world, you have to be open to learning because we're constantly evolving. But you never know who that person is going to be in your life, who's going to help you go to that next level. And that may be a coach, that may be a chef, that may be a friend, that may be a teacher.

14:53You never know who that's going to be. And so to not explore and celebrate, I mean, even on social media, there's a lot of experts out there who have taught me a lot of stuff, like you. you're always you know imparting knowledge and interviewing people who have like a strong knowledge base and it's just important it's important to like to know what's the what the facts are so you can actually move forward no i agree with you i agree so now at this point so let's like so i'm an advocate of education i am a strong advocate of higher education yeah however the world has changed but what i want what i want to say is that there's a lot when i was you know i I retired from modeling many times.

15:36And what my agent used to always say is, everyone's always like, oh, I want to be like Kelly Benton. And he's like, well, you have to go to college. And then you have to write seven books. And then you have to start with magazines. And you have to do all these things. And they're like, wait, she did all this stuff? I thought she was just on TV. You're like, no. No, no, no. There's a lot more to me. Just because people didn't know who I was doesn't mean that I hadn't done the work. Yeah, obviously. I mean, look where you're at. So you were on the house. Look at you. You're so sexy and cute. I love you.

16:05So you're on The Housewives, which is like, I wouldn't really picture you as a housewife talking to you. I really wouldn't take you. But you were on there, which is great. So how did that, and I imagine that's very invasive. It's in your face, in your life. So how did that teach you? First of all, you were very visible. But what about your vulnerability? Because it was showcased on there as well. Yes, I think the vulnerability is super important in everything. And you're like an OG housewife too. I think people don't know that. I know you're really involved in real estate, but you really are an OG.

16:38I mean, I think what's fascinating is that there's been a lot of housewives from every single state. And I think that what's fascinating is that people are still asking me about housewives and still genuinely really interested in me, which is like, there's a lot of housewives. I'm like, oh my God, I loved her. And then I don't know what she's doing. People are genuinely interested. And I think one reason they are interested is because they know that I speak up for myself and they know that I'm not afraid. Like if you want to be like, if you have, if you have like an agenda and you want to come after me, you can go after me all day long.

17:13But like when I'm done filming, I'm going to go and have my life. And that was really fun. And I'm glad we had a really good time, but I'm going to go and enjoy my life. And so I never like, I never brought it home. I never brought my work home with me. It was just something, a part of you. And so I think that made people very intimidated. I think that they were like, wait a minute, I'm not getting to her. I'm like, no, you're not. I don't give a shit. I cannot. I don't care. I'm going to be up here. I'm the adult in the room. I can be out of here. But what happened when they showcased your vulnerability?

17:43Were you like, can you edit that out? I mean, I wish they showcased my vulnerability because I had gone through so much. I mean, I was a single mother, which no one wanted to hear about. They were like, being a single mother isn't sexy. People don't want to hear about you being a single mother. Because at the time, I was a single parent. And people didn't want to talk about it. They just didn't want to know about it. I was a single parent for a while. They just thought it was not chic and cool. It's very taboo. They wanted me to be the supermodel that everything doesn't bother me, and it's all lollipops and rainbows, and I just go outside, and I pick from the tree, and there's a$100 bill.

18:18I'm like, I need more than a$100 bill. It needs to be like a$10 ,000 bill because life is expensive. So I think they wanted me to be something. and I'm also like, I can be a little tough. Like if I don't like something, I'm like, okay, like. I'm righteous. Like let's go. Yeah. And so I think that they weren't expecting me to be tough. That's the best part though. But I'm also very dismissive. I'm just like, I never forget the scene after Scary Island and we were sitting there at the lunch table and they were all asking what's scary and they're like, what happened? I had a great weekend. I rode my horse, hung out with my kids, I drank rind with my boyfriend.

19:03The best weekend ever. They're looking at me like, okay, we hate you. I was like, it's fine. I think you just get to look away. You have to do what you have to do. If you want to make me the scapegoat, I'm not going to argue with you. I'm going to be like, okay, fine. I'll just pivot and just go that way. I'm like that too. I'm very righteous. I will not stand down. If I believe something, I'm almost annoying. Don't fuck with me on something I feel really strongly about. It's interesting because I'm actually not that way. I am strong with my conviction, but I won't be on my salt box. I'm like, if you're not going to listen to me, I'll just - I'll just keep going like a broken record.

19:44I'm annoying. No, I'm just - I'm like, I'm not listening anymore. I tuned out. I need to be more like that. My mouth gets me in trouble all the time. I just don't shut up. I'll just keep going with the same bullshit. And I'm like a rehash or two. So then everyone's just like, all right, we don't even want to hear what you have to say anymore. Because I am so righteous about something, I have to stand by it. But that's a good thing. I mean, I just feel like sometimes when people aren't listening, it's just like then you have to guide them to a different way. No, you're smart. Do you know what I mean?

20:18Because sometimes it's just like you're wasting your time. Yeah. But I like that you rehash. I would love to hear that one time. I'm such a rich man. I would definitely. I'm going to be like, oh, my God. I'm going to, like, on social media, like, I heard you rehashing your fire. I'm sad. I love it. So here, I have a funny question for you. So the housewives, like, I know you had your own life outside of that. So housewives, past or present, who is one that you would follow, like a boss you'd follow? Well, who I do follow is Margaret Josephs. And, you know, we talked about this again. I sat with her.

20:46I talked to her. She came. She's amazing. I love this podcast because you're talking about things that really, really resonate with me. And she is so authentic. And I actually met her on one of my podcasts that I started a long time ago. And she was just cool and fun. And we knew a lot of the same people. I had no idea. I'd never watched her on TV. I just loved her personality. And I love how real she is. And I loved how there are a lot of people that are like, be your authentic self. I'm like, what does that mean? If someone's saying be your authentic self, then they're clearly not authentic.

21:24You show authenticity. You don't talk about being authentic. Don't talk about it, be about it. Right. Well, you could feel it. You have all these little... I know. It's the sales thing, girl. It's the sales thing. I know. It's just like... I love that. You could just feel people... I need to be more sales. You are salesy. There's a lot to you. I'm like the long game of sales. No, you're not. You went into... You developed a team. You're in luxury real estate, right? Developed a team. So talk a little bit about, I know the house. I love that you said it. I met Cynthia Bailey. She's a beauty. Love her.

21:54Love. Same thing. She's like, use the housewives as a platform to do what she's doing now. And same deal. But you're in real estate. So very similar to my industry in sales. So talk to me a little bit about that and developing teams. So to be a team leader, it's like anything. You have to pick people who resonate with you. And that doesn't mean that you want people that are identical to you. That means that you want people that do what you don't do. So I was listening to this one podcast, and she's like, the best founder is someone who can give other people opportunities to do things. And they go, and they're like the overseer of everything.

22:36That's a really good founder. That's a really good leader. I think that people who try to micromanage are always micromanaging, and then they're forgetting the long game. Like, my job is to represent my clients. And there's things that, again, we talked about the right tool for the right job. I have an amazing assistant. I'm like, okay, we're going to do this. We're going to do that. We're going to do this. I'm on the phone with her. Tell me how you're doing this. So I'm also learning from her, too. And I think that just taking a deep breath and allowing people to do what they do well is really, really important.