She Was TV's "Villain" Then America Fell in Love With Her | Andrea Carmona Tells All Love Island's

0:00I walked in there very confident like and I remember asking my friends I was like when I went into the show like how was the reaction they're like from the second you walked in people were already hating you like before you even opened your mouth.

0:20yeah we're bullying you like our kids and it wasn't even like them bullying me that bothered me it was just the amount of comments back but it was like it was to the point where it was like bots like fake like hundreds of fake accounts telling me to like off myself telling me that like i shouldn't be here just because someone doesn't see your value it doesn't take away it You can walk into a Louis store and there's a million bags. You walk in, you're like, ew, like, I don't like that bag. That doesn't take away the value of the bag. That bag is still$5 ,000,$10 ,000. It doesn't take away your value.

0:48You're just not those people's cup of tea and that's okay. What did your parents think about you doing a show like this? Never in a million years, my man would allow me to go on TV and kiss a bunch of guys and still can be like, oh, come home. If you had to leave a legacy behind, right, what do you want the world to know about you? And I have never in my life would I imagine all the comments, all the attention I was getting and hate. You can either go into a hole and just delete social media and never talk again. Or you can go on the Internet and just crash out, which is what I did. I was just like so angry, I guess, at the fact that the media painted me to be this person that I wasn't.

1:26And I was trying so hard to like prove myself. Welcome back to the Build Pod, where authenticity trumps authority here on the Build Pod. We love to highlight bosses in their own right, from women in the boardroom to rock stars, pop stars, to scientists, to reality stars. And today's guest, well, she does not need an intro. This chick is bad. She's a singer-songwriter, huge into fitness, Love Island star, Miss Andrea Carmona. Welcome to the Build Club, girl. Thank you. Wow, what an introduction. I think I mean it's pretty impressive thank you thank you yeah the singer songwriting I need to I need to put out some stuff it's been a while everyone's like where's your music I'm like it's coming it's coming yeah you know the best thing you gotta save the best for last exactly exactly so we're just gonna dive in okay we're just gonna dive into it I you know I um I already admitted that I've never watched Love Island I will watch it I will eventually but you know like what I'm really interested in is the Andrea after Love Island.

2:32So first we'll start at Love Island. How does one get on Love Island? My experience was very like different. I actually applied for Love Island. I want to say around season four and it was just an Instagram ad. It came up on Instagram and it was like this link, sign up for Love Island reality TV. And I was just like, oh, I've always wanted to do like reality TV. This would be cool. This was like in the hype, obviously to have like the Kardashian air. I was like, that would be sick. So I remember filling it out and it was like 100 questions. And I was like, OK, I don't like this is getting annoying.

3:01So I didn't end up going back to it. And I went back to the link like two days later and it was still half filled out. I was like, oh, we just finish it. Did it, went through the process, did a few like interviews. They loved me. But at the time I was talking to somebody not worth it. But I was just like, oh, like maybe I shouldn't do this because I have this thing going on. So I ended up like ghosting them and just ignored all their calls. They kept calling me to like follow up, didn't answer. and then two years later going into season six the producer called me she was just like hey like we're going through old tapes we loved you like would you want to read like apply wow and I was like you know what like hell yeah I'm single I have nothing to lose at the time I was like half creator half like waitress I was like I don't want to do this anymore so I I said yes and I went through with it and that's like the timing of everything because had I done season four versus six, it would have been a way different reaction or I guess outcome for me.

3:57For sure. Now, have you ever like prior to that? Did you ever have any experience with reality TV or no? Never? No. I did social media since I was like 16. My first deal was with Fashion Nova when I was like 16 and I didn't make money. I was just getting free clothes, but I thought it was like so cool. That is cool. Yeah. And that's how I started. So I started very, very young into that. I started getting like fitness sponsors. I was working with Bang for a long time. Like so if you're from Miami like you've probably worked with Bing at one point in your life but I was just doing a bunch of stuff like that and I loved like the creative space and networking and going to these fun influencer events so and then all of a sudden Love Island comes and you go on the show yeah and from what I read it was like not the greatest experience so you came on as like a bombshell yeah and then you were voted off and then the media like kind of painted you as the villain Yeah.

4:46Now, just talking to you because your energy is so good. I like and you're so cute. I have like a real problem with it that you were even painted like this. So do you think it was like the show painting you as a villain or what do you think is like the biggest misconception? I think definitely editing comes into a huge play and every show needs a villain. Right. And my friends, when they were watching the show, because at first I was like, was it something I said was something I did? And definitely like I was, I guess, overly confident is the word at times. But I just grew up like Latina. Like I was just born and raised like you're confident yourself.

5:21Like you're that bitch. Like you're hot. Like that's just how we were raised. Like just to have that confidence. And like I walked in there very confident. Like, oh, like I want this person. Like I'm going to go after him. And like, I hope I get him type of thing. And I remember asking my friends, I was like, when I went into the show, like, how was the reaction? They're like, from the second you walked in, people were already hating you. Like before you even opened your mouth. so I was like okay I didn't really have a shot of what I had to say or didn't say and that was like the main thing that I dealt with and there was definitely moments where editing comes into play because I remember like after so when the recoupling happened they like showed my face smiling and it looked like I was smiling at the person that I kind of like broke up the couple with and in that moment I wasn't smiling at the situation like in awkward moments I get like I I want to laugh.

6:09And there was other girls there making like sly comments at the guy. So I was laughing at the girls making the sly comments. But it looked like I was laughing at the girl and like her sadness in the moment. And then even after that, I pulled her for a chat. And I was like, hey, like, you know, I hope you don't take this person. Like, I have no issues with you. Like, I like I just really like this person. And I want to go for him or whatever. She's like, no, like, I get it. Like, I'm not mad at you. It's him. We hugged and everything. Didn't show that conversation. Of course. I mean, it's made for TV, too.

6:37So you have to get I mean, they also have to get views for sure. But it's stuff like that. But I'm like, damn, like when I got off the show, I was like, what is this reaction? Like, I definitely think there was like vow that people had an issue with. But I definitely think it was just like an overreaction of people's stuff to it. And after the show is where people had even more an issue because I get off the show and I have never in my life. What I imagine all the comments, all the attention I was getting and hate. And you have two options. You can either go into a hole and just delete social media and never talk again.

7:10Or you can go on the Internet and over explain yourself and try to prove yourself and just crash out, which is what I did. And I definitely was like overly posting and overly saying things. But I was just like so angry, I guess, at the fact that the media painted me to be this person that I wasn't. And I was trying so hard to like prove myself. And now I'm like, for what? Like these people's opinion don't matter. But at the time, I was just like trying so hard and like anything I said would just bite me, like shoot me in the head again. Like highlight like bits and pieces, put it together. It was like I couldn't win.

7:45It was like it was a lot. That's a lot of pressure to handle. So were there ever moments where you were just like you were just at your lowest point from this, from people just saying terrible things? Yeah, I definitely thank God I didn't have like any like thoughts to the point of like ending my life. And I always say, like, I'm so blessed that out of everyone in the show, I was chosen to get like the shit end of the sick in that situation, because I definitely think like anyone else, if they had any weaker mentality to a little bit, it would have driven them to a very bad place. And my whole life, like when I got social media, I kind of like started getting attention to media in high school.

8:22And I've been bullied since high school for like my singing and just like posting and just doing things that I love. So I was always used to it. Definitely not to that extreme. but I kind of had somewhat of thick skin and I had my mom like and my grandma going to church like every week praying for me I had my godmother and her bible study praying for me so I had all these people like strong people in my corner and I have the most amazing friends but yeah I think that's literally the only reason why I was able to kind of push past it and knock it into a dark place it was definitely hard at times but yeah that those were like my my warriors what was the biggest lesson you learned from all of it?

9:01Definitely to just not care what people think. I think no matter what, you're never going to satisfy people. You're never going to make everyone like you. And so much of us growing up, especially women, I feel like want to make everyone like you. And if someone doesn't like you, you need to like make them like you. And you're just so obsessed with everyone liking you. And I think that was definitely something that opened my eyes. Like, damn, like at the end of the day, however people paint me, like I know who I am. My friends know who I am and that's all that matters and whoever doesn't like that welcome I it's it's the truth look nobody really knows you except for the people like your family and your closest friends and even you know your inner circle sometimes you have to be weary about them too did that ever happen to like people that you thought were like your roll dogs all of a sudden they kind of they kind of crashed out or they weren't as true as they were supposed to be thank god no I have the most amazing girlfriends and they were like my backbone in this like situation I remember the first was not even my mom the first person i called was my best friend when i got off the show and i was like oh my god like i haven't talked to you so long ago she's like whatever you do don't open your instagram i was like what she was like don't open it just ignore it i'm like you know i'm gonna open it right wow it was that bad it was so bad like and at the time it was the worst i have to ask you the worst comment that somebody said to you that you were like what the fuck it's not even the worst it's just like all kids so the issue with my season was it was so it blew up so fast to a larger audience.

10:27So high school kids, middle school kids, kids that probably shouldn't be watching. Kids were bullying you? Like, no kids? And it wasn't even, like, them bullying me that bothered me. It was just the amount of comments back to back. It was, like, it was to the point where it was, like, bots. Like, fake, like, hundreds of fake accounts just calling me a homewrecker, a snake telling me to, like, off myself, telling me that, like, I shouldn't be here and just all these crazy things and it's, like... You should have been, like, little Johnny, go to bed. Yeah. I was like, it's past your bedtime. But it was just so much that it doesn't matter even if I replied or said something.

11:00It was just there was too many people to fight. Like people were just like, oh, like you only pay attention to the bad and not the good. There was no good. Like the people that liked me or supported me were too scared to vocally say it online because people would hate on them for liking me. That's crazy. Yeah. Like even though reality, would you, I don't know, you can tell me. I don't know if you can say it or not. Is reality TV really reality? It's not. Like the problem with like these shows is that you are yourself, right? They can't force you to say anything. So like what you say is what you say, but it's the way they put it in.

11:31And also they can like, no, they can't force you to do anything, but they'll give you a little a little nudge sometimes behind the scenes. Pull it out of you. Yeah. And just kind of like manipulate the situation to make it seem worse. Yeah. Like maybe you have something on your mind that you want to like talk about. You're like, you know what? Like it's not worth it. And they'll be like, oh, like maybe you should talk about this thing, you know? And you're like, yeah, you know what? you're right I should go talk about this thing and it's kind of like things like that you're like okay then all of a sudden it comes down you're like wait a minute that's not what I meant to say at all there was I there was I saw this viral video of when you were voted off and I know there was like some backlash people were like all right she was a little dramatic yeah I mean what was that like you're blindsided by it were you like yeah that whole situation was just so crazy because at the end of the day like no one deserves to go home right everyone has has like the right to be there it was just at the time like I had just I had just met the person that I was with when we were going like strong so I think we're like four days in um and everything moves faster so like it could be four days but it feels like two weeks yeah when you're there and everything was going good like we had something good going on and everybody saw it so I thought like when it came down to the dumping they weren't gonna like dump someone that had a connection and they would dump someone that maybe has no like the most sense to me was like maybe let go of somebody doesn't have a connection in here and keep the people that have a partner in here like to keep it going but I ended up being chosen because I wasn't exploring enough is what their their reasoning was but I can dive into that and the people and it's just going to cause more issues I'm not going to get into that but like at the end of the day um you know everyone has their opinion and their reasons why they did it and I'm happy that that happened because I generally think me and that person would have never worked out.

13:17So it was like a blessing in disguise. And I met my boyfriend literally six weeks after that. So I'm happily I was happily dumped. I didn't see at the moment. But you know, looking back, I'm like, thank God that happened. When one door closes, another one opens wide open. Yeah. Are there any of the cast members that you ended up staying in touch with or no? From my season specifically, from season six, I don't talk to her much, but we've stayed friends um nicole she was the bombshell that i came in with and then the casa girls which i didn't meet on the show we like met after and it was more of like a trauma bond because we all got a lot of hate so we all like trauma bonded um all the casa girls so like sierra daniella um who was the other one there was another one now she's pregnant but yeah we still all follow each other like i follow like all the classic girls and they're amazing they're all super sweet no no shade towards the main cast we just never stayed in touch so now after the show which was crazy i don't know how you did that you get all this hate but you went back again for for a reality show again on the what is it love island games is that what it is love island games yeah so you go back on and you already have this like persona of being whatever they painted you but then you kind of stole america's heart yeah so how does like that is that's crazy so you went from like one end to the other.

14:39What was that like? I took that with a grain of salt because I see how fast the internet switches up on people. And you see it throughout the season. Like, for example, now Love Island starts, they love someone one week, the next week, they hate them. And then they do like, they make one comment like, Oh, we love them again. So it's like, I don't trust the internet. Like, it's like, I'm just at this point, I built a skin that if they hate me tomorrow, like, I'll be okay. But it definitely was. I definitely didn't expect it. Because I went in there like thinking like you know what like when i got offered to do the show they can't promise you that you're going to be an og like that you're going to start the show but the way they kind of like talked to me about it was just like oh like you're you'll most likely start the show and at the time that was three weeks after me and my boyfriend had broken up for some time like i did a backtrack because everyone thinks we like fake broke up so for me to do the show never in a million years my man would allow me to go on tv and kiss a bunch of guys and still can be like oh come home you know what i mean yeah and me either like that would mean that i would have to let him do whatever he wants and like ain't no way i'm sharing somebody like that but for me it was like while we were dating in the summer they kept calling me like hey we're casting love island games i was like i have a boyfriend like i can't and they're like well we're trying to find ways that we can have people that are on like their relationships do it and obviously and never done working out for them to do that because i think they wanted other people that were in relationships that were like really popular from the show to do it like to figure on the way they could do it but it's love island there has to be dating and kissing and whatever so then we ended up breaking up and at the time like i was crushed like i did not want like that to end but it was just something that needed to happen there was just like a lot of friction and just stuff that we both personally had to work on and yeah three weeks later love island like one of us just called and she's like hey like we noticed you guys aren't really posting together like it was my birthday and we weren't together on my birthday so like she peeped that and she was like are you still in a relationship and i was just like no actually we just broke up like not too long ago and she's like well we're filming games next week would you want to do it and i was just like i didn't even think like this was still a thing and she was just like yeah but you'd have to like fill out the forms like do the blood work all the stuff like now and i was like you know what maybe this is a sign from god like i didn't know at the time why we broke up but i was like more than this reason obviously there's other reasons but like i thought that this was like Like the sign like, OK, this is I need to do this thing for myself and like to maybe have another shot at like showing the world who I truly am.

17:04And I was like, you know what? Like, fuck it. Like, let's do it. And I did it not expecting anything. I was like, it can't get worse than what it already was. Right. You're already at the bottom. Yeah. Go up from here. So I was like, there's really nowhere else. I can't go lower. So like I was like, I'll honestly take whatever I can. And I know going in now, if like, God willing, I was able to start the show, I would, you know, be able to connect with people better versus just coming in later. It's just it's never easy coming in as a bombshell or in Casa because relationships, friendships, connections are already established.

17:36You're like the new kid. No one really wants to, like, talk to you when you're new. But so all the reaction is pretty much it's not filtered. This is like when you're walking on, everyone's reaction is like, oh, my God, who is this? Yeah. Yeah. So you already start out kind of and I'm sure the producers love it. because they like, it's like they throw a wrench in the whole thing and then a lot of controversy. People love controversy. Yeah. How many weeks is it like between the Love Island segment and then doing the Love Island games? So Love Island, the normal season, depending on when you get casted, this and that, they typically have you fly out two weeks before filming, but you could be waiting in the hotel for God knows how long if they even put you on the show.

18:14Like they can fly you out, but it's not guaranteed you're getting on the show because they manipulate, it's like a game for them, right? I explain it like the Hunger Games. They have the five girls, the five guys. They start the show. They see who's connecting with who. And they're like, hmm, this relationship is strong. Let's see who we can throw in for this guy. Who's this guy's type? They'll look at the hotel, see who they have that kind of is his type. Okay, let's send her in. And let's see if she can, you know, maneuver or like break up this relationship. Yeah. So you don't know when you're being sent in.

18:42It's really a matter of how the show plays out. And if you're not starting, it's a waiting game to see when they put you in. So how long is the time period that you're there? So filming the actual show is six weeks for Love Island normally. For Love Island games, it's only three weeks. So it's half the time. Thank God. Because I don't think I could have done another six weeks. And you're not communicating with anybody at this point. No one. They take your cell phones. So you have absolutely, like, you can't even call your mom and be like, hey, mom, I'm good. No. Some people, like, cheated the system.

19:10And we have the hotel room phone. So people were calling their parents or, like, their friends off the hotel room phone. But it's so expensive. I think it's like a dollar a minute or something like that. So you can imagine like people racked up like hundreds of dollars because they didn't know that it was that much money. Like they were just calling. I remember like one of the people, I think it was after games. He ended up selling like$1 ,200 off of phone calls. Wow. Yeah. What's the craziest? I asked Nick the same question. Like what's the craziest thing? You don't have to use names. What's the craziest thing that you experienced?

19:44against? I don't know. There's nothing really crazy. I generally love the fact that they took away our phones. At first I was like, well, this is weird, but I think it was such a like a stress reliever. And you realize like how less anxiety you have when you don't check your phone every day and every two seconds. At first it was hard because I would wake up and like reach my phone. I'm like, oh, I don't have a phone. But after like three days I was waking up, I was like reading, I was praying, I was meditating. I'm like, wow, like who is she? Because you have nothing better to do so you just like appreciate things more i was like coloring you don't have anything besides the tv which is like netflix only that you watch they don't let you have peacock because they don't want you watching like other stuff and then you only are allowed to leave your room like once or twice a day with somebody will escort you to like the gym or the pool for like an hour because they want to make sure no one runs into each other they want the surprise on the show wow yeah that's wow that's insane did you see anybody like totally lose their shit like they couldn't handle it because that's a lot yeah when you go from a life where you're constantly engaged to where you're basically isolated yeah the thing is it's like when you're isolated like that i don't know anyone that went crazy um when they were isolated but i think like that is why on the show you forget that you don't have your phone because now you're so focused on the people there and you were so isolated without connection for the time being that when you're thrown into the villa you're just It's like craving interaction, craving conversation.

21:08So that's why it's like you forget about your phone at that point. You don't even care anymore. Like, oh, I'm here. Like, this is cool. I don't have no bills to pay. I have no worries besides the person that I'm talking to and my friends that I have here. And that's it. That is the crazy. I just couldn't even imagine a life where you just kind of isolate for six weeks and another three weeks and you have no interaction. What did your parents think about you doing a show like this? My mom at first was super excited, super supportive. She was obviously nervous because she was like, well, if you won't have your phone, like any mother's going to be like, what do you mean?

21:39I can't talk to you. Like, I'm like, there's going to be producers that you can be in contact with. You're going to see me live every night. You know exactly where I am at all times. You'll be watching me. So she was all for it. Obviously, when I came off the show the first time, she was just devastated and was just praying and just felt so bad because no one wants to see the world saying these things about your daughter when you know who your daughter is. so the second time I wanted to do it when I was offered game she was just like let me feel like are you sure you want to do this again like really think about this and I was like mom I think this is just like God giving me like another shot at this and she was like you know what like you know I'm gonna be praying about it and we're just gonna like trust him and see what happens I'm a crazy mom and I'm a petty mom I don't know I just can see I could just see me just flying out to like tell me where she's at and be like I'm not gonna tell you tell me where the fuck my daughter is at I want to know I'm so petty yeah I probably just start fights with everybody I just I'm when it comes to my kid like it's over sure I am definitely that mom that's coming up like figuring out how I'm gonna see my kid but that's a lot for your parents it's a lot yeah I know my it was like my dad didn't watch the show my brothers didn't watch the show because it was like you know a little too much for them to watch but yeah my family was supporting me as much as they could I'm sure do you think that a lot of the fuel that was fired kind of started from the producers that kind of lit that flame I don't know truthfully I think it's like I don't think they they start a flame I think they like ignite the flame yeah like if they see something boiling they're like all right let's keep this going like this is perfect like we have our our person and like they always say like I remember like I got in trouble I was like on TikTok when I first got the show I was just like well production made me the villain and then they called me like you can't say that we made you we didn't make you the villain like that's not because there's contracts there's a bunch of legal stuff that goes on like technically speaking no they can't make you the villain you are who you are right not that you are the villain but like you said what you said the reaction of the crowd is what it is so like they'll you know they'll milk things a little bit so like but they don't make you something that the crowd or like the audience will view you a certain way and they're like okay perfect she's she's our villain and they'll just run with it yeah you are already starting to build your brand at this point how when every like when all this controversy started were you like ever scared like oh shit i have to protect my brand like what's my next move what am i going to do business wise yeah for me it was more of like i definitely took like two weeks off social media because it was a lot and i was like i literally couldn't post anything without someone saying anything negative it could be like my food and they'll be like there's people in africa starving I mean, why are you posting?

24:18People were just hating on anything they could, like the most insane thing ever. But so I needed like a break. And then eventually I kind of started posting it. And I was like, OK, like regardless of what it is, like bad publicity is still publicity. So I was like, I'm going to keep posting and being myself. And like this was when I was basically crashing out online and just posting like crazy, just like talking and kind of defending myself for explaining things, over explaining. and then I ended up meeting my boyfriend and he's very like straight off the shit he's like I don't give a fuck what people say like I'll be in the comments and fight and this and that like he had my back from the jump like even when the world hated me like he was there for me and he was kind of like a big reason why I was able to also push through at the time when I when I met him and he kind of kept me very like goal orientated and focused on what I was doing and there was a lot of things at the time that I wanted to do but I was so scared to pursue them or come out with things because I knew people would just have something negative to say so I definitely took a lot of time before I pursued anything like really major I was like working on music behind the scenes he makes music so he was kind of helping me like on the production side I was like I want to learn how to produce and all these things so I was doing that um and I was planning like I was planning some things that failed like I started I wanted to start like an app and I started the app and I wasn't in love with it.

25:39And it was a lot of back and forth. And so that failed. And I was like, okay, maybe down the road, I'll get back to that. But then I was just like, okay, like I'm a creator. I want to be the best creator. And so I really dialed in on like my brand and my niche and really focusing on creating something that people wanted to work with me. And that's the point where I got out now where now I am working on something that I want to put out that I'm confident in. But I also have now this brand that over the years I've built that people trust me on like my my reviews on like skincare or beauty or anything health and fitness related people value my opinion because I'm very open and honest and you're so beautiful so you're so beautiful and in shape why wouldn't anybody trust what you're saying but were you a little intimidated like to go to the brands and be like after all this happened yeah I mean you had a second shot so I feel like everybody probably was after you yeah the second time around definitely was better the first time around brands surprisingly still want to work because they understand how things go people hate you one day love you and they're like publicity it's still publicity so who cares they could have made it seem like how they could have spun it however so i feel like it wouldn't have really mattered anyways it wasn't too bad the only issue was like if certain brands worked with other people from the show then they weren't keen to working with me because it was like a conflict of interest um so that happened quite quite a few times but other than that like i never really dealt with much issue or fear it was just the only fear was again if they were already working from someone from my season and it was kind of like okay like they probably won't want to work with me because they already have this person or whatever so yeah that was the only thing i ran into what i think people don't realize is you know we say words you know sticks and stones but words really do hurt yeah they really hurt and they get you in a place where you start second guessing who you are but did anybody ever say shit to your face no and that was ever out like when you're out everyone never right it's always this weird hacker people behind yeah so weird or like the funny thing was is that there was so many people that would come up to me like later on and be like i love you so much like i was defending you online and like it's funny because my boyfriend would be like were they were they really like so many people will come up to you and say those things just to like you know be nice to you i appreciate all the love and all the worries that i have but it does make me think sometimes like i was getting i never saw any really love so i was like were you really online defending me yeah you're like i don't know are little johnny making shitty comments yeah who are you really one of the fake accounts but it makes you i mean now you're like really focused on body imaging and as far as bullying and whatnot so i think you really do have a lot to say about it and and the price and repercussions of people saying stuff because not everybody is as thick skin yeah and with social media now i mean that's the main thing that even like i put into example all the time like hailey beaver for example she's talked about this before but she was getting endless and thousands and just crazy amount of hate under all her posts under all her stuff to the point where she used to when she was younger happily post on social media share her world share her stuff and just be free and like loved posting and then now she's like scared to post she's scared to do anything because people would just flip it or like have something bad to say and it's like that's such a horrible way to live that you feel so and like you're hailey beaver like you're married to justin beaver you have a kid with him like you're set like you're living a lot of little girls dreams right now and this and that just goes to feel like it doesn't matter who you are or what you have or where you come from like that that stuff hurts and like it gets to people eventually like it's just just think about like one comment multiplied by a million under every single one that's all you're seeing every single day it's hard yeah i don't care who you are you know we're all look at the end of the day we all bleed red blood you know we're all born and we all died like yeah that's and we all have emotions and feelings and i don't care how how resilient you are if you're reading constant hate i mean it gets to you yeah you know they say you know good publicity or any publicity is good but still people are constantly at you and picking at you and you're you're already a confident person i'm sure it eats at some insecurities that you could that that could happen yeah it's a shitty feeling yeah it's it sucks but if they ain't talking about you look if they ain't talking about you then you're not doing something right no that's what they say do you ever feel like any of the cast members were kind of fake to you and like at the end of the day they they kind of smiled in your face but were like i don't know i don't think fake i think at the end of the day it's kind of just like everyone wants you're living together right so it's like you want peace in in the but are you like bunked with them or you're in your own room no everyone sleeps in the same room and all the girls share the the makeup room and everything like that like everything is just shared it's a communal space you're eating with these people you're sleeping with these people you're yeah everything you're hanging out with people every single day you have nowhere else to go besides the confines of the villa like that's it so at the end of the day like i i will never truly know if people were like fake to me or not but i think at the end of the day everyone there is nice to each other even if you don't like vibe with them you're still going to be nice to them because you're in the same space every day so you don't want to like cause problems or just have bad energy because you're sharing the same space would you ever do another reality show So I don't know.

30:45I think I'm at a point. Definitely, obviously not dating. But I'm like, I don't do the fake breakups, guys. That was real. But I would definitely I would definitely not do anything dating wise. I would be open to more like challenge myself like the challenge. I they reached out to me last year and I sent the tape in and nothing ever happened with that, I guess. But I was open to that. I think anything that's like physical and like competition based, I would love. I think that's cool. Even traders I saw that was interesting. I never watched it but I saw clips of it my manager was like oh this is like I think you would like do good at this like you know it's just basically acting um but yeah I'd be down to stuff like that but in the day like I always like pray about things and it's like maybe you know that's not the path and maybe that chapter is closed I don't know um but yeah what about acting like television going into like not reality yeah yeah yeah just acting yeah that's something I've been I used to act so when I was younger I did musical theater from like Like I did my first play, I think when I was like seven or eight.

31:43So I was I've been doing musical theater since I was a kid and I loved it. But yeah, that was something that I kind of just as I got older, I did commercials. I was signed with an agency, but it was also and I just never like it just never like stuck. Yeah. And I wasn't really booking anything. So I kind of like gave up on on that dream per se. But yeah, still open to that. I think acting is is such a such a really hard thing to do. And you really have to dial it in and get your craft. I actually just saw it when I went to high school on a show I was watching on Apple TV. I was like, oh, shoot, like he made it.

32:16He's on this show. That's so cool. So but he's been doing it for years. So it's another if you're you kind of have to start from zero when you get into that space. It's a lot. Do you feel like being in the spotlight really kind of puts pressure on you to being perfect? The need for perfection. Did you ever feel like that? Like after or maybe even before the show? But do I would assume that being in the spotlight really kind of puts this emphasis that everything has to look good at all times, your hair, your nails like you have to be on point. Yeah, it definitely feels like even before a TV, right?

32:47Like every girl is just like, don't post that. Like, it's on my good side or I look fat here. You know what I mean? Like people always have something like that. They're like insecure. I don't want to post. And definitely that escalated when I got off the show. But I've also gotten to the point where I want to be real and I want to be relatable to people and people just to connect with me. So I'm not so perfect on the stuff I post. And like my friends will post things of me or like my boyfriend. And like, I may not love it. I mean, like I look crazy. And I'm like, you know what, whatever. Like you don't look perfect 24-7.

33:16Like everyone has a bad day. He actually posted a video the other day at the house for like one of his songs. And I remember sending it to my friends. I was like, guys, like I look crazy here. And they're just like, no, like you're just you natural at home. Like everyone's like that at one point. I was like, you're right. You're right. So, yeah, I think it's just a matter of just like understanding that you can't unless you're a Kardashian who has a makeup team, photographer team, editors and everything at all times. You can't always be perfect. And if you're so obsessed with how you look, I mean, I meet fans all the time and take pictures of them.

33:49I can't care about what I look like in that picture. They're going to post it regardless. So you just have to get used to it and just accept like you're not always perfect all the time. And was there a time, like, especially when you left the show that you couldn't walk outside without people knowing who you were? Yeah, it happened from the moment I landed back in Miami at the airport. I got stopped at the airport. I went back home. Obviously, I didn't want to leave my house like two weeks because I was just like overwhelmed with everything. But when I would go to the grocery store, when I would go to like the mall, anywhere I went, I was getting stopped.

34:18I went to New York. I was walking with my friends in the street and like a cop car just like blew their siren and we like scared us. And I was like, what just happened? and the cop gets out the car and she's like I'm a big fan like I would love to take a picture with you yeah that's like a good story that's yeah oh that is so cute I definitely got a lot of love in person after the show like all the hate online was horrible but in person in real life I got stopped and it was always like love so it made me that's what started making me feel more open to post and go back to like thermal ways because I was like okay like not everyone hates me and like I would go to my boyfriend's shows and like at the show, like so many fans would like hold up signs for me or like want to like say hi to me after.

35:00So that made me feel very loved. And I always like thank those people just for giving me that because that's what kind of like got me back in my groove again. What's the best advice you would give somebody that's being cyber bullied? I would say surround yourself by the people you love, by the people that care about you and remember that your value and your worth is not determined on what people have to say about you or think about you. It's how you feel about yourself. And you just have to build your own self-love and confidence. And I heard this girl on a podcast the other day talk about how like, this is more about kind of like, I guess, more relationship coded, but it also comes down to like self-love.

35:38But at the end of the day, like, just because someone doesn't see your value or people don't see your value doesn't take away it. You can walk into a Louis store and there's a million bags of 5 ,000, 10 ,000, whatever dollars you walk in, you're like, oh, like, I don't like that bag. That doesn't take away the value of the bag. That bag is still five,$10 ,000. Yeah. And so that's kind of how the way you look at life. And the same thing, if a guy doesn't want to be with you, or this girl doesn't like you, or these people don't like you, it doesn't take away your value. You're just not those people's cup of tea.

36:06And that's okay. Yeah, it took me a long time. I mean, I'm so happy that you realized it now. You know, it took me until not gonna tell you all I am.