The Trauma That Built a Multi-Millionaire | Tiffany Carter

0:00This woman runs a top five podcast in the entire world. She went from making$17 ,000 a year to becoming a multimillionaire. I was terrified of the thought of having a lot of money because my story is different in the sense of I wasn't raised poor. If I had just played victim my whole life, they would have been like, oh my God, look at your story. I understand. But I didn't want to be that. and who was going to pay for me. My motivator was I'm not going to be controlled or trapped by any person, place, thing, job, institution ever again. And that was the motivator for me to not like sit in the victim side of things.

0:49You can't have a business and not know how to sell, period. I don't care if you're a practitioner. I don't care if you're an influencer. I don't care if you're an affiliate marketer. I don't care if you do Reiki. you have to know how to sell.

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2:29Welcome back to the BILFBOD, where authenticity trumps authority. Well, I am super excited about today's guest. I mean, her story is absolutely incredible. And I know that all of you are going to take away so many important nuggets. This woman runs a top five podcast in the entire world. she went from making$17 ,000 a year. Yeah, not a month, not a week, a year to becoming a multimillionaire. So this just goes to show you ladies out there that if you're watching this, she is incredible for sure. But I can assure you that she is just like all of us. You know, we're faking it till we making it over here with our weave in our hair.

3:12Whatever comes in our head comes flowing out of our mouth. But welcome to the show, Miss Tiffany Carter. Woo! Welcome, girl. That's quite an intro. You like that? And really, well, I like the faking it till you make it because that's what it was all about. That's the same thing for me. I cannot wait to just dig in there and go, we're going to go rogue with this and see where it goes. But I know that you have an incredible backstory. So let's just kind of start there to intro you and a little bit about your backstory and where you started from. I always like saying ahead of time, my story is insane.

3:49It's like a lifetime movie. So just like trigger warning ahead of time for people. Okay. But I know you're used to listening to this show, which you guys talk about all the things. So I know I'm in good hands. I was raised by a single mom who is a narcissist. And my mom pimped me out from the ages of 11 to 21 years old to wealthy men, which I'm sure some of this rings a bell with the latest affairs of current events that's all coming to surface. And I was just a tool for her and she was an entrepreneur. So the last thing I wanted to be was to have a business. And truly, I was terrified of the thought of having a lot of money because my story is different in the sense of I wasn't raised poor.

4:40I was actually raised like not like super wealthy, but definitely like, I guess you could say like upper class. And, you know, with being raised that way and being exposed to, she had clients that were fortune 500 clients. Okay. So big wig corporate executives, these were the people who were inappropriate with me as a child. Right. So what happened is that obviously I had no self-worth And my worth was only based on how I could serve somebody, how I could like service them in every possible way. And I never thought for a second, I mean, I would even say I never want to have a business because I attached having a business to it being dangerous.

5:32But what I wanted was someone to hear the truth. I wanted someone to hear me and listen to me. So when I was 13, I don't know, you guys might remember the show, like it's still on Inside Edition with Deborah Norville. Yes. And she came and spoke at my middle school and she arrived in like a stretch limo and she was a vibe. And I'm like, and everyone like just was quiet and hung on every word she said and was so respectful. And I'm like, that's what I want to be. I want to be a newscaster. And so that's what I did. I had all focus on becoming a newscaster. I was hired by NBC before I even formally graduated college.

6:15And a lot of people are like, oh, that's so glamorous and all this. I made no money. You don't make money doing that. It was about me wanting to have a platform where I thought it was all about truth and facts. And of course, as we all know now, wow, that's not how the news business works. But I didn't know any better. And while I was on air, and I think you'll appreciate the insanity of this, I was still being abused. The abuse didn't stop until I was 21. Wow. So the main abuser flew out. I was stationed in Washington, flew out. And that was the last time that I was abused, but flew out. And thankfully, my news director, who of course I ended up sleeping with, thank you, because I was taught all this, right?

7:12When someone is helpful and respectful, I was overly sexualized. I thought that's like what you do for somebody. And he's a wonderful person. He helped save my life. And he saw this dynamic of this main perpetrator who I was taught to call my brother, even though I'm an only child. And he was like, this is not okay. And it snapped me awake. It was like, oh, it's not? It was so normal to me. And that's when I started really thawing out from everything that had happened to me. Wow. I mean, you took my question. I was going to say, when was that moment that you were finally like, this is not right.

7:53And this was the turning point. So now you're at this turn. It's a pivotal moment. I can only imagine. It's like, I'm like equating it to like you, like, oh, you have an awakening at this moment that, oh my God, you know, everything that I was taught by somebody that was my mother, you know, and my brother, this is not the way that it's supposed to be. So now you're a news, now you're a newscaster. What happens from there? I was thawing out, which as one can imagine, I didn't have denial as a protection. I didn't have that fake mask where I could pretend it didn't happen. All the memories, all the flashbacks, everything started flooding in.

8:36And I was being seen because of all the eyeballs literally watching me. And I felt like I had my skin off. I was so vulnerable. I didn't have that like false confidence, like the whole fake it till you make it. That's what I developed. I mimicked people. I remember intentionally, consciously, like as a kid, you know, watching like what the confident people looked like. They sat up straight. They raised their hand first in class. Like they spoke up, they had a certain tone in their voice, but it was all fake. I just didn't know it was fake. Yeah. Right. And it worked for me until a certain point.

9:17And well, I couldn't fake this and I was going to have a meltdown on the air. And I, I mean, no one typically quits like a TV job, right? Like, especially if you don't have something else lined up and I was spiraling fast and I knew if I did not quit, it was not going to be cute. Wow. I mean, what an incredible story, but I just love how authentic you are about it and how real you are. And we were talking and we'll get more into it, but you took that trauma and you were saying before we even got on air, how you could have easily, I mean, you could have easily been like, woe is me, I'm done, I'm throwing in the towel, but that's not really what happened, huh?

9:56You didn't throw in the towel. You went through struggle just like everybody does. And you use that and use it as your superpower to turn your life around and become a multimillionaire. I mean, if that's not an incredible story, I don't know what is. But now, so now, okay, so now you've already spiraled. Everything's starting to like, you know, the fogginess is starting to get clarity. Then what happens? Where do you go for work? Then I'm like, now what? Because I had one focus. It was to be a journalist. And I'd know, it's not like I had a backup plan and I was a disaster. and I ended up coming back to Los Angeles because I had a lot of friends from college who were there.

10:38I wasn't going to go back to Chicago, which is where I'm from, because I didn't want to be anywhere near my mom, perpetrators, the memories of it. So I went back to LA and those who are familiar with LA, I ended up on Ventura Boulevard cleaning up dog piss and shit from being on air because that's the only job I could do for a while while I was in intensive outpatient care. Wow. Wow. It was like, and it's not like I enjoyed the job, but like I really couldn't, I couldn't have done another job and I didn't know what I wanted to do because my whole focus was this one thing. And so I did that for, and it's not like I did that for years either, But you're right.

11:29People could have easily, and they would have, excuse me, if I had just played victim my whole life, they would have been like, oh my God, look at your story. I understand. But I didn't want to be that. And who was going to pay for me? I didn't have, there was no backup. Now, could I have like worked a poll and like gotten a daddy and maybe like gone that route? You could have. Why not? You could have. You could have. Why not? Right. And I'm not saying there's necessarily anything wrong with that, but then I'd be trapped again. Yes, absolutely. My motivator was I'm not going to be controlled or trapped by any person, place, thing, job, institution ever again.

12:10And that was the motivator for me to not like sit in the victim side of things. Yeah. I mean, listen, I think you have to start somewhere too, you know, even in those kinds of jobs, but the jobs that we think are menial. I think those are the ones that teach us the most about ourselves and who we are and what we're willing to do to get where we need to go. You know, when I started in insurance, I do insurance. When I started, that's what I call my real job. I, um, I fell so many times. I, the amount of ego hits I took, the amount of times I cried, the amount of times I'm like, I'm worth more, what am I doing?

12:56You know, but all of that kind of, I, I think I boxed it and used it in order to move me ahead to where I wanted to go. And looking back, like I needed all of that. I needed those, you know, moments of, of humbleness to really put into perspective what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go. And I'm assuming that was kind of the same thing. Yeah, I'm sure you didn't want to clean up piss and shit, but I feel like you kind of need to go through it in order to get, you know, because there's this pivotal moment in everyone's life. So when was that pivotal moment that you're like, I'm not cleaning up piss and shit anymore.

13:31I'm going to be, I'm going to turn it around. And I am, because that's what happens. I am going to do whatever I need to do to get there. So you manifest it. When was that pivotal moment for you? Exactly. I think what happened when I was in the outpatient, if I'm remembering it correctly, but I'm going to remember it how I remember it, there were people in there that, oof, you think my story's rough. I mean, stuff that I didn't know existed. And I was like, you know what? There's a lot of people out there that have gone through a lot of shit. and most people don't have it in them and I'm not blaming them to be able to talk about it publicly or to be able to open up conversations about this stuff that no one wants to talk about.

14:26And I knew I had a gift for doing that. I was trained to do it, but I had a gift from being a journalist. And I had that almost like a teenage, like, fuck you. I mean, I was voted most likely to be seen on cops in high school. Okay. So that's like, I have that grit side of my personality, which I see in you because like, like attracts like. And I was like, you know what, these motherfuckers, no, I'm going to expose this stuff. And I'm going to show people like, hey, like you can still like make it. This doesn't need to be your identity. It's something that's happened. It's messed up, but we can use this and rise.

15:11And I think that's what did it because I watched what most people do and they became just like a shell of themselves. And I didn't want to be that. No. And I mean, I absolutely resonate with everything that you're saying because the more people doubted and the more people said I couldn't or I can't exact, that's it. I love, I actually love it. I embrace it. I love the haters. I love it. And I love, you know, all of the negativity because all that does is ignite my fire to where I am. Like, fuck you. I'm going to do it no matter what. So now. Yeah. I mean, how many, how many people, when you say you have a podcast, I bet to this day are like, that's nice.

15:51I mean, I, I, yeah, I mean, I think they're like, can you do something better with your time?

15:58you know but but when your purpose is greater than who you are I don't really and at this point in my life I feel like I'm like I always say I'm seasoned I don't really give a shit what other people think to be honest with you if I cared what other people thought I'd never be where I'm at today and sometimes you have to just kind of ignore the naysayers because it just really doesn't matter honestly so now and then you get into sales right you got into sales and I love like yeah I I got into pharmaceutical sales. Who doesn't love pharmaceutical sales? I mean, listen, but I got to tell you, it makes sense why I got into it.

16:32Yeah. Because I was a glorified prostitute. At that time in pharma sales, they hire, I mean, they still hire attractive people. But like there was different, it was very loosey goosey. Like I had Vegas as a territory. I'm blowing on dice, baby. I am going to the Spearmint Rhino. I mean, that's how the shiz was. And so that felt familiar to me to be in that environment where, I mean, when people talk about, oh, I've got to go to HR and oh my God, this happened. I'm like, HR. I am HR. First of all, exactly. First of all, never go to HR. of me. Like that was, I mean, yeah, exactly. And the whole thing was inappropriate, but I, I didn't notice things like that back then because it was just so familiar to me.

17:30But like you said, with insurance, like I got told, no, you've got high pressure to make your number. You don't make your number, you're out, you know, and that kind of pressure and showing up when you don't feel like it. You got to make sales calls, whether you feel like it or not, whether you're PMSing or not, whether, and then you're sick and you start, right? And it's like, so that's what that taught me. It taught me how to show up even at my worst and to show up consistently, whether I felt like it or not. And you get the reward for that in sales. You absolutely do. And I liked that. Yeah.

18:07I mean, that's exactly what happened. Same exact trajectory. I got into sales and I realized that people liked me. But if you want like the school of hard knocks for anybody, go to sales because sales will teach you everything that you need to know. It'll teach you about people. It'll teach you about ethnicity. It'll teach you about how people think, how people move. You can tell body language. I mean, I would suggest if anybody really wants a real education about life, go into sales. And you're right. The risk, the risk is there, but the reward is so much better. And if you're competitive and you know, you're goal oriented, the sales aspect, and I know you talk about this as well.

18:47You don't have to be sleazy to sell. You don't have to be at first. I mean, listen, I was faking it until I was making it at first, you know, I was doing whatever I could had big boobs. I, you know, I played it up, but then finally you realize that, you know, people, first of all, it's sales. So you'll count the nose. You'll, you will get a yes, It's a numbers game. But beyond that, you can be a legitimate salesperson and be genuine and do very, very well in sales. It does work. That's when it all changed, truly, is when I wasn't acting like what I thought a salesperson was supposed to act like.

19:20And I took a different approach to it. And I agree with you. That's why I teach sales to people now. You can't have a business and not know how to sell. Yes. Like period. I don't care if you're a practitioner. I don't care if you're an influencer. I don't care if you're an affiliate marketer. I don't care if you do Reiki. You have to know how to sell. Yeah. And that doesn't mean you have, that doesn't mean manipulation, but I understand why a lot of people think that that's what it means. What it means is you psychologically study people and understand them. Well, who's better at doing that than a fucking trauma survivor.

19:57Yeah. Yes. I mean, it's true. Yeah, it's absolutely true. And in life, you need that skill. You have to have that skill in order to be successful. And it's not manipulation. It's knowing it's reading the room and understanding. And when you're in sales, you know, you're the expert. So, you know, nobody wants to feel like they've gotten sold. Nobody wants to feel like that at all. So when you're talking to people, it becomes more of, it's like a dance. I always say sales is like a dance. You know, if they move left, you're moving left. If they're moving right, they're moving right. So it's a whole art in itself, but sales in itself, you know, you don't have to be, I like cars, so please excuse me, but you don't have to be the car salesperson.

20:38You don't have to, you can absolutely do that. And I know that was, that's a big part of, of what you do and what you coach. So let's talk about your coaching business a little bit. So tell us a little bit about you. Yeah. What I transitioned to, I kept hitting a glass ceiling in pharma. They usually don't want to move people up who are their top salespeople because now you're not selling. And I get it now, but I didn't get it then. And I kept getting passed up for promotions and it didn't matter. I was number one. It didn't matter. I was making them hundreds of millions of dollars. I'm thankful that happened because it made me so mad and made me so frustrated that it forced me to go, oh, no, I'm going to have to start a business.

21:23Remember what I said earlier? I didn't want to be an entrepreneur because that looked icky to me based on my childhood. But thankfully, my best friend from high school, she's a self-made real estate agent. She's a broker now. Bish, cold called. like that's how she started and she's like been top top top one percent like making more money than the people on these tv shows by far and she was like I figured and I was like she was the only person that I could go to and I was like I'm terrified to do this because it looks so scary you know can you know do you think I can do this and when she gave me like I needed someone to give me the stamp, not approval, but like I didn't have someone who believed in me.

22:14Yeah, exactly. And like, that's what you do for people now. That's what I do. And I'll also be honest with someone too. Yeah. I'll say it too. Me too. That's important to say because not everybody got it. Not every, you talked about grit, not everybody. And that's okay. That's absolutely okay. But yeah, the honesty. I agree. Not everyone has it. And I don't believe that it can necessarily be taught. Amen. I can teach you sales skills. I feel like I'm talking to myself. I don't think you can teach it. You can't. It's called chutzpah. You either have it or you don't. Wait, are you a Jew? I'm obsessed.

22:51Okay. I was like, I talk about my beloved Jews in my podcast all the time. I was I was raised with all of that. And I use that term all the time. That's so funny you say that. Some people say like, oh, you've got to have balls. I don't love that term. But you got to kind of have that BDE. You do. And listen, I didn't have still the most amazing self-worth when I started it. It's not like I felt ready. It's not like I felt super confident. I was terrified. There you go. But you want to know what? Like, what the hell was I going to do? Nothing. Keep staying and working for someone else and keep getting passed up.

23:32Like, that sounds insane to me. I might as well do something else that's insane. Yeah, I agree. I mean, we spend so much time getting ready to get ready. But, you know, in the real world, you got to have the chutzpah. Those are the people that make it. And I don't know that you can teach that to somebody. And that's absolutely fine, but it's knowing, you know, your place in life. It doesn't mean you won't be successful, but you got to have chutzpah in order to get it, you know, and get it moving in the right direction. So now you do, you do coaching, but your podcast, how about your podcast? It's in the top all, I mean, you're topping your category, literally top five.

24:06So now in conjunction, now did you use the podcast came after, right? The coaching. No, I did everything backwards. I started the podcast before I even had any traction on social media. So it's not like, like no one, literally no one knew who I was. And I wanted to have a podcast because I could control the narrative and swear all the things I couldn't do as a journalist. I like to do. Right. But I also still had the story, which I know a lot of people listening have. It's so, it makes me laugh now. I started at like the end of 2018. What did I say to myself? It's so saturated. Look at all these people who have a podcast.

24:52It wasn't saturated at all back then. Right. In fact, it was so brilliant. And I was like people, I had so many people tell me people I respected who now want to be on my show. Thank you. That's very satisfying too. Who told me you'll never make money doing that. Oh, that's cute. That's, that sounds like a fun hobby, you know, all sorts of stuff. Who cares? I still did it. And what I said to myself is I will give myself a year of like full ass effort. And if after a year I'll check in with myself and go, is it worth it? Cause obviously it's not free to put out a show. It takes time, energy. It doesn't take a ton of money, but it does take money.

25:33Yeah. It takes money to get it going. Yeah. And I was like, and if it, If it doesn't, you know, if there's not traction, I wasn't saying what I see a lot of people saying online, which irritates the hell out of me. Like I better make$10 ,000 a month in 30 days. Like what? That's putting like a contingency on your dream and on the universe. Like I had a slow burn. I was not hot out of the gate. I had no audience leverage to parlay it into. Agreed. I had no one to shout me out. It's not like I have like a celebrity cousin or something. And it's great. I wish I was a Nepo baby, but I'm not. Yeah.

26:11And good for people who are leverage what you got. What I got is this ability to share how I'm sharing here from my heart and in a way that people know like, it's she's legit, you know, she's not doing like a shim sham. that's that's my gift that I give this world but that is a result of my trauma and all of the healing I had to do in order to get here so my show yes I got five-figure sponsors yes I was getting sales right because I I use my show to promote my own products and services so yeah it was making me money, but like my show didn't pop off 2023, big pop off. Yeah. It takes time. I mean, I started mine a year ago.

27:02Yeah. I started mine a year ago and like anything else, I like instant gratification. But the reality is, is if you don't, you know, for people that are listening, people have started asking me, you know, my show is finally, it's moving, you know, it's moving. They ask me all the time, you know, like, what are you trying to do with it? At first it started it as a hobby. And then I realized like, oh shit, like I've really liked that. Like I like people, the connection is really good. I figured that same thing. I can leverage my podcast. So if in the future I wanted to do something other than insurance, at least, you know, I can brand myself as well as the podcast have somewhere to go.