Alan & Lee Meet A Crisp Sommelier

20:39And I think, do you like it? Or do you think, what the hell are you doing to our industry? Now, this, I think, is very topical. I think what you're doing is unbelievable. I think it's changed the landscape. Is that good or bad? It is. Unbelievable because... My agent says the same thing. Unbelievable. No, it also is. So many people come to me and say, God, have you seen that podcast? It's brilliant. Because it's demystifying wine. It's all so complicated and pretentious. And what you're doing is great. You're getting people to drink glasses of wine. Great. It shouldn't be about, you know, waftiness.

21:14No, no waftiness. It's all about the idea of enjoyment, of sharing it, of having a good time. And then if you learn a bit along the way, great.

21:22Alan Carr:And what was your aha moment where you had, you're just there, maybe in a bar or at home, and you had a certain crisp and a certain drink, and you went, oh my God. It genuinely was like that, actually. It was, I was having a martini. Really nice gin martini, very sophisticated, you know. For a moment, you think you're James Bond there. Very dry, you see. Do you think you're James Bond with this? And someone said, oh, have you tried, you know, why don't you try some crisps with it? And I had a pickled only monster munch. Blew my mind. You've got the savouriness of the crisp. You've got all the botanical layer of the gin and, you know, the coolness of the whole thing.

22:00Oh, it was so good. I was like, no, it was something good. Well, isn't it interesting because that's a dry martini, but I imagine if you had a dirty martini, the two would maybe be overkill. Yeah, I guess it might be too much because if you have a Gibson, which is, they use an onion as well. Yeah, yeah. It's probably a bit too much onioniness.

22:16Alan Carr:But I think with the Monster Munch, it was really good. So James Bond, when he's in these movies, he should just be having a martini and then what's it? A packet of Monster Munch. A packet of Monster Munch. I imagine he did. Yeah. Underneath the baccarat table. Monster Munch. There he is, just dipping in there. Talking of Monster Munch, so you've brought crisps with you, right? I have, yes. I have. I bought some crisps and I bought some drinks. Some of my favourite paintings from the Chris Familia book. Which, by the way, 2024, the biggest selling drinks book. I believe it was the biggest selling drinks book, yeah.

22:42which is pretty remarkable really. I'm delighted. Well, I'm just, look at it here. Look at that. It's brightly coloured like our shirts, you know. Yeah, wonderful. You've got to go big, haven't you? Yeah, no, it was a great, it was one of those moments of pulling this sort of passion together, really, of drinks and of snacks. And it was just finding these kind of little pathways because, you know, crisps and drinks, they go together well, you know. We've all been to pubs and bars and had crisps and drinks, but it's just trying to refine that process a little bit and finding, you know, these little magic moments really.

23:11Is it more than salt, though?

23:14Alan Carr:Salt's got to be the killer, isn't it? I think it is. Oh, I'll have more. It's kind of texture as well. I think when you get a flavour added in, so imagine you had champagne. You could ruin a good champagne with too much flavour in a crisp, but with just already salted, it's amazing. What we're going to have now... Chappell Down. Yeah, by all means. Got a lovely... Chappell Down, we've had that before. One of my absolute favourites. English rosé. Chappell Down. Absolutely superb. Fresh, crisp, you've got fruitiness in there, But with the skip, this is where it all starts to come along. You see, now you've kind of, you've gone in with the Aperol.

23:47I know. I'm like, what if this doesn't work?

23:50Alan Carr:I'm going to look like a total fraud. I know, I know. It does not go with frozen Aperol. I'm saying it, honestly, it tasted like vomit. Did you, when you, obviously, you knew about wine beforehand, but did you think, I need something to, you know, stick my head above the parapet? I needed to kind of, you needed to be a bit different. Is that why you went for Chris? Yeah, I mean, in many respects, I suppose you kind of find something you love doing. And actually, because there was a big trend with snacks and drinks kind of already happening, I thought, you know what, let's put this together in a really fun, easy to sort of read way.

24:26Again, it's like my appreciation of wine is just not be pretentious with it. And I thought people will either love this or, like podcasts, they'll either think this is awful or it's going to do something great. Yeah. Yeah.

24:37Alan Carr:Okay, so what do we do? Is it a bit like with wine? Do I chew the skip and then spit the skip out? Do you pair the drink to the crisp with the crisp to the drink? Oh, that's the question. That is the question. So have a sniff of that first. So we've got Chapel Down Rose here, nice sparkling. Lovely. Fruitiness, you've got... Obviously the effervescence there is going to lift all the flavours. Have a little smell of that. A little smell of the crisp. Smell of the crisp? That smells... I don't think I've ever smelled a crisp. No. This is where we're wafty and pretentious now. I'm getting 1996. Mmm.

25:11Alan Carr:Back in your school lunchbox there. Yeah, yeah. Put that on your tongue. Now I have a mouthful of this.

25:21And that's going to start melting away. The party keeps on going in the mouth, right? See what I mean? It's kind of the effing best. That doesn't taste like vomit. There you are. Maybe there's something in these pairings, you see. And why is that then? So does the salt cut through to the sparkling? Yeah, it kind of, I mean, especially with this, because it's kind of like a... It's not like a potato, Chris. It's going to start melting down in the mouth. It starts to broaden out some of them. This, I think it's corn, isn't it? Amazing. I never knew that. What a crisp, man. I thought they made out of potatoes.

25:54Yeah, but this one not. I mean, classic crisps. You can date back to sort of about 1850, I think. It goes back to cutting potatoes very finely in America and frying them, deep frying them up. And it became this phenomenon. And then suddenly you get... Yeah, kettle chips. Saratoga kettle chips, they're called. And then you go all the way through into sort of 1910 in the UK and you got... You remember Salt and Shake, the Smith's Crisp? Oh, yeah, the little sachet. Yeah. They were so massive. That created the whole sort of, I guess, the fascination. I just think that's marketing, though. I always think that about Muller Fruit Corners.

26:31I think I'd actually like my yoghurt premixed. Deconstructed, but premixed. All you're making me do is all the work. That's true, that is true.

26:37Alan Carr:All the work flipping over a corner of fruit. Do you like that? I love it. I want more. I want more. Okay, good. So, skips, if you were going to have... You want the rose first, so you've got a nice sparkling rose. Something like skips would cut through to that and pair nicely to pick at that. If you're having a party, you know, great way to have your aperitif. And what you could say... A bowl of those around as well. Yeah, what you could say, because I know what people are going to be like. You'll pour out a gorgeous, lovely chapel down, and they go, skips. And you go, well, don't judge, because the actual flavour of this will cut through.

27:14Exactly. Because actually people might go, oh. No, no, again, it's the idea of trying to just have a bit of fun with it. Don't be too snobby about your crisps. Don't be too snobby about your crisps.

27:21Alan Carr:And also at a wedding or something, you know, why order food in catering? Just pack the skips, pass it around. Perfect. I've been to weddings where they've got boards of crisps, and you just take them off as you go past. Brilliant. Who knew? Saves a fortune. Really? A wedding. Right, what else have you got? Let's move on. What kind of wedding is that? Skips, please. Thank you. Um... What... Okay. Did you do that at your... Our director did that at his wedding. There you go. No way. There you go. I bet it was a great wedding as well, wasn't it? Ooh. You had a board of crisps. We made it. Oh, God, I guess worse.

28:07Alan Carr:It's for the evening and people want to pick. That's good. Taylor Swift's wedding, it was the same. Do you want me to just like four of these now? Yeah, yeah, yeah, go for it. So I'm loving this because I can see the word dill. And I love dill. Dill or no dill. That very much is a question. Now, I've got a big sharing bag here, so I thought we'd just tuck in. Yeah, tuck in. What's an Upton Cheney when it's at home? Upton Cheney is where the jalapenos in these crisps are growing. Okay. We're going to Mexico with this one. We're going to Mexico. We've got our Hawaiian shirts. Oh my God! Wow. You haven't even had it with the wine yet?

28:48I'd say wait for this. You're jumping ahead here. What we're going to have is some Palomas. I've got some pre-made ones here from Moth. I'm murdered, Aaron Traitors. We love a Paloma and we love a moth as well. Mix of total happiness. Did you know that? I didn't know this before. This is good. If you're not laughing, you're learning. It's working out well. There we go. Okay, so we have some jalapeno and dill crisps here from Pipers. I love Pipers, by the way. It's a great brand, isn't it? Really? Really? Big flavours. Yeah, brilliant. They don't hold back to them. So they are, you are, you are saying that this is going to complement really with the pelot.

29:33Can I just say I'm pissed?

29:36Alan Carr:I think I've been the most pissed. No. And we've been pissed a lot on it. That is, that's, that's the thing.

29:46I did wonder when you did a monologue of how much you love pipers.

29:55I feel coming on last, I'm somewhat at a disadvantage. I know, I know. Do you know what? Can I just say, I was chatting to one of the wine experts that came on recently and she said that they all got together at this wine event and they all start talking about their experience of bottoms up and apparently they all go, were you the first or the second of the day? I'm like...

30:20And they go, I was the second. They go, oh. What you didn't realise is there's now a T-shirt that says, I survived. Yeah. Okay, Paloma. Right, Paloma. Right, Paloma. I don't know if you had a Paloma before or not. Beautiful drink. Tequila. We love a Paloma. Pink grapefruit juice. Citrus in there as well. This with the jalapeno crisp with the dill as well. You've got savoury. You've got a little bit of heat in there as well. This, for me, is one of my favourites from the book. Am I resting it on me tongue? I'll rest on your tongue if you want, yeah. Mmm. You're going to get that dill coming through, you're going to get...

30:56Do you know what? A little bit of spice. If I was sat out on a terrace drinking a Paloma with those crisps, Oh, life doesn't get any better. Do you do this from tasting it or do you do this from just seeing the flavours? Do you have like a grid where you go, that matches that? Have your crisps with that. It's beautiful, isn't it? It's a very good question. Putting this together was quite fun because I had two big blue IKEA bags of different crisp brands, so maybe 185 different flavours. And I went through them, like a library, and you have all your drinks, you've got your red wine, different grape varieties, different white cocktails, soft drinks, beers, all these sort of things.

31:34And I honestly was just going through, trying all these different crisps to see what worked. And there was very few that didn't work. What a great job. This really worked. It brings out sweetness.

31:45Alan Carr:The sweetness from a drink, absolutely, yeah. And the heat starts coming through. I've got a question for you. Scampi fries. Are they crisps? Or are they evil? I think, and it's interesting, where are they sold? They're sold in a crisp aisle in the same way that Pringles are. I love a scampi fry. Well, it's that Jaffa cake biscuit cake. Well, I know the answer to that. What? It's a cake. It is cake. Why? Because when a cake goes stale, it goes hard. And when a biscuit goes stale, it goes soft. So, yeah. Where did you learn all this? Well, at biscuit school. The first rule of Biscuit Club is don't mention where you go to Biscuit Club.

32:25Well, listen, I'm going to get something now. You two carry on talking. What are you doing? I'm going to get something. I want to make the ambience a bit nicer.

32:33Alan Carr:Oh, no, what is this? Got us a little candle. I thought it'd be nicer. Oh, it's gone candle. Oh, that's not very romantic. Sent by Proper, which... So... Lee Lee, just because people send us stuff doesn't mean we have to include it. And you know what I think I'm going to do? I think I'm just going to... What are you doing now? There is a specific crisp to go in this actually. There's a hot sauce flavour crisp which goes really well with it. Don't burn your hand, I'm nervous about this. Mmm. Mmm. Delicious. Butter. Alan's like, am I so pissed? Lee is just dipped the crisp. No, okay, for the purpose of the listener.

33:20Alan Carr:We've been sent. For the personal listener, what's it called? Purpose of the listener, Lee's just stuck a skip in a candle and ate it.

33:34This is the proper hot sauce tangy, fiery, deep candle dip. So you can't do this to every candle, okay? Oh my god, do you really have to say that? Well, Kate's looking at me. Yes, that's right. Don't pop this. Okay, blow it out, apparently. I popped a skip into my diptyque candle and burnt my mouth. I'm suing you. You're meant to blow it out and then, look, creates a lovely little dip there that you can dip in. There are some proper chips. They did send us the proper chips, but can't find them. Is it wax? No, no, it's butter. Trick-cha, ha ha. How do you think about that? That's good. It's delicious, isn't it?

34:15Nice little dish. Yeah. Mentioning butter. Have you had all these butter crisps? I have. I was watching this earlier, and they are so good. Thank you. You'd think a butter crisp would kind of be a bit weird, a bit funky, but they're so good. They're so nice. Melting them out. They are melting them out. So do we have one more? You've got Malbec, is that right? Yes, I have. What do we, do we enjoy the... The dill I love. I mean, I love that. Yeah, and you're so right. And that, there's a lightness to it. It kind of complements. I don't think they're too different either. No, and I think that's the beauty of it.

34:45It really does bring out the best in any drink, really. You know, when you're pairing a great crisp to a drink, you want that complimentary thing to go on. Yeah. I do. I've got another one to try. So we're going to have... Oh, yeah. Actually, we're going to have some Rioja. Now, you know, if you've watched this podcast or listened, you know we love a red. He loves a red. I love a red. Indeed. Love it. So, what crisp? Because I wouldn't put crisps with red. I would put cheese with red. There's a section in a book all dedicated to red wines, but I've broken it down into grape varieties. Right. So you've got your Tempranillo, you've got your Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot Noir, all these different grape varieties.

35:27And that was the fun of it, really digging into some of those wines and trying to find the crisps that work best with the grape variety. So I'm imagining you're going to put a cheesy crisp with these. You think so, right?

35:37Alan Carr:Cheese and onion. Oh! You think so? Yeah. I'd like to say you're right, but unfortunately wrong on that one. I'm going to go with some chorizo. Oh, so you've got the meat. See. So, what goes together grows together here. So we've all been to Spain, you've spent some time in a tapas bar. Yeah, I love Benador. Love it down there, you know. The idea of pairing great red wine with tapas, for me, is a brilliant thing to do. Can I just say tapas I love? I love tapas. That's great, right? Do you always order too much for a tapas? They go, all three plates are enough. You're like, ha, ha, ha, I'm going to order six.

36:13Alan Carr:And then you're like, bleh. But they know. There's always a knowing look, though, isn't it? Oh, yeah, they'll never get it. English people. Yeah, that's what they think. So we're going to have... Well, let me pour this for you. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, I'll pour this. So, got a lovely Rioja here, right? Exactly. Yes, Rioja. It's a tempranello. That's the main great variety. It's a bit of a blend as well. But what we're going to have is some spiciness from these chorizo crisps as well. Okay. And it's that tapas moment. You're in Jaref, you're somewhere hot and spicy, and you want that moment of big, bold flavour on the palate there.

36:43With the wine, you're going to get spiciness, richness, oakiness as well. With this, you're going to get a lot of saltiness, obviously, but you're going to get that lovely spicy meatiness as well with the Teresa.

36:55So, does it have to be Teresa or could it be any kind of meaty crisp? Could it be like steak flame grilled? Actually, well, that's a good question. Steak flame grilled goes really well with Malbec. Again, if you think when you're having a steak and you'd order a Malbec in a restaurant, think about those kind of pairings, what you'd ordinarily have with that kind of food. Croix roll, right? Neil, I'm going to stop you right there. Oh my God. I'm going to stop you right there, Neil. And tell you right now, something's happened to me there. All right. That, in a good way, is fucking good. Ooh! Wow.

37:29Alan Carr:That is amazing. That's the one. That's the one. I can't... Listen, Neil, Neil, oh my God, he's, wow. Can I just come on every week and we'll just do crisps and drinks? I'd love that. That's amazing. So listen, this is your book, The Criss Sommelier, Neil Ridley. Are you on social media? I am, it's at Ridley Drinks. At Ridley Drinks, okay, fantastic. And before you go, smelliest crisps, cheese and onion or prawn cocktail? Oh, cheese and, yeah, cheese and onion. Or goat cheese, that's the worst crisp I've ever had. You heard it here first, thank you so much. So the Crisp Sommelier, that was 2024, but you've also got the Picky Bits Sommelier as well.

38:06I do, the Sequel, the Picky Bits Sommelier.

38:08Alan Carr:These are perfect. Will you please come on again? Will you picky bits? Yeah, we would love to. Neil, you've been brilliant. And thank you for adhering to the dress code as well. Do you know what's going to be next? You've set the bar too high. Can I say that? Neil Ridley, everyone. We want to hear from you. If you've got a wine disaster, a wine win, any questions for us or any general dilemmas then email us bottomsup at listen.co.uk at bottomsupshow are our social handles as well please always drink responsibly visit drinkaware.co.uk bottoms up with Alan Carr and Lee Peart is a platform media production bottoms up bottoms up

38:55hello

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