In short
Alan Carr and Lee Peart drink rosé and espresso martinis while riffing on TV, sexuality, celebrity gossip, London history, and murder mysteries; the episode culminates in a “Secret Sommelier” at-home blind wine tasting game with five mystery rosés.
Guests
No regular guests. “Secret Sommelier” is the brand sending the tasting kit. Gloria Hunniford is referenced as the “secret sommelier” (and as a possible connection to the sender).
Guest backgrounds (referenced)
Gloria Hunniford is a well-known TV personality; the episode also mentions a “Lovely Gabriel,” described as her grandson, who launched a Côte de Provence rosé.
Key claims
Whispering Angel was the highest-rated wine (rated 4/5; believed £22.50). The blind wines were mostly “orange-vibe” rosés, and the game is pitched as a party drinking activity.
Notable examples
“Guess Gabriel’s gargle” (a gag game); references to Whiteley’s department store history and a murder-mystery discussion; mentions of ITV shows and podcast award nominations.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VODramatic Introduction
0:28 to 1:28
Alan and Lee set the stage with a playful and dramatic introduction.
“Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun.”
Welcome to Bottoms Up
1:28 to 2:50
Alan and Lee introduce the podcast and share their drinking preferences.
“No, you usually say mine as well on that one.”
Wine and Letters
2:50 to 3:55
The hosts discuss a letter they received along with a wine gift.
“I loved a gin martini and who knew that I liked it.”
The Essence of Dame
3:55 to 5:48
Alan and Lee delve into the branding and naming of a new rosé wine.
“Also, consider this reparations for years of working with the loose ladies.”
The Power of Television
5:53 to 7:30
Alan and Lee discuss the impact of television on social connections.
“It's that kind of channel where they have the shows that make you talk to each other.”
Childhood Memories
7:30 to 8:10
The hosts share personal stories about their childhood toys and experiences.
“Frick, do you play with dolls when you were a kid?”
Romantic Cartoon Characters
8:10 to 9:21
Alan and Lee reveal their childhood crushes on cartoon characters.
“So when he went from like twink to like daddy.”
Tour and Performance Updates
9:21 to 10:35
Alan gives an update on his current tour and performance nerves.
“Do you think we'll ever get a bottoms-up bottle?”
Upcoming Animation Film
10:35 to 12:08
Alan discusses his role in an upcoming animated film and its empowering theme.
“and they like clean the bin, scent the bin.”
Film and Premiere Excitement
14:00 to 14:40
The hosts discuss a film and an upcoming premiere in Oslo.
“And isn't the premise of, you know, we talk about the Vikings, actually.”
Show all 19 chapters
Film and Premiere Excitement
14:44 to 15:34
The hosts discuss a film and an upcoming premiere in Oslo.
“I was saying this the other day, like it gets to midday, only midday, and I've tapped, tapped, tapped morning coffee, breakfast.”
Playing the Gargle Game
15:40 to 17:02
Alan and Lee introduce and play the gargle game with drinks.
“So, when you say you sang, did you prepare for this?”
Playing the Gargle Game
20:00 to 21:15
Alan and Lee introduce and play the gargle game with drinks.
“Brokerage offer through SoFi Securities LLC.”
History of Whiteley's Department Store
21:24 to 23:13
Lee shares interesting historical facts about Whiteley's.
“A lot of history for me with the building has.”
Murder Mysteries and Their Appeal
23:13 to 24:48
Discussion on the fascination with murder mysteries and strong female characters.
“We love like a crime, because you were into, what were you into?”
Awards Nominations and Celebrations
24:48 to 28:04
Hosts discuss their podcast nominations and prepare for an awards ceremony.
“But I think there is something about like women, strong women, like that's Jessica Fletcher.”
The Mysterious Package and Letter
28:04 to 29:50
Alan and Lee receive a mysterious package with a challenge about wine tasting.
“The fact that they even think Alan would let me speak.”
Tasting the Secret Wines
29:50 to 34:18
Alan and Lee taste five mystery wines and share their impressions and scores.
“Do you think Gloria Haniford is Lady Petrel?”
Revealing the Results
34:18 to 35:57
The hosts reveal their scores and discuss the wines they tasted.
“So what I will say is, I think if you're doing this out, this is a really good thing because you can order it.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:01This episode is brought to you by SoFi, the all-in-one finance app where you can bank, borrow, and invest. It's time to achieve your financial ambitions. Earn more on your savings with a SoFi Bank High Yield Savings Account. Ditch your higher interest credit card debt with a SoFi personal loan. Or start investing on an easy-to-use platform with SoFi Invest. Wherever you are on your financial journey, SoFi has got you covered. Learn more at SoFi.com slash Spotify.
0:31Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word. My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana. T 'was a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it. Tonight, we feast. An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up fees, may apply.
1:00Alan Carr:Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Naked attraction. Oh yes, I like it. Oh yes, I like it. Keep going, I know it. I remember being quite lonely in Northampton and fancying the Jacket Clubs. Why does she hate us? Glory. No, it's the secret sommelier. The secret sommelier.
1:27Alan Carr:Hello and welcome to Bottoms Up with Alan Carr. What is my name? No, you usually say mine as well on that one. Oh, yeah. Hello and welcome to Bottoms Up with Alan Carr and Lee Peart. Yeah, basically imagine... You're such a diva wanting your name mentioned in the title. We've created a monster. Oh, sorry. Sorry that hits the name of the show. I was going to say, basically, imagine, if you haven't seen or watched or listened to this before, imagine your two drunkest friends get together and they have access to a wine cellar and no one at Ofcom's brave enough to stop them. Take that, Ofcom. So, we're here to make wine look classier.
2:18Alan Carr:So, yeah, every week we uncork a bottle or two, don't we? And we have been... What? We're double-pops. I know, we are double-pops. So this is an espresso martini, which we do like. And I will say, a few weeks ago, we met Cocktail Carmen. And I love an espresso martini, and I think I make a really good one. And I think it's about time to teach you how to make an espresso martini. Oh, it's a lot of faff, isn't it? So maybe in a few weeks, shall we get her back and do a cocktail? Because we did martinis. Let's add espresso to the mix. Well, let's do it. Let's do it. I loved a gin martini and who knew that I liked it.
2:54Alan Carr:Dirty. Dirty. Listen, we are joined as well, double parked, like you said, by Gorgeous. If you're not watching this, let me describe it. We've got a bottle of wine on a deck chair with a gorgeous little hat there. And there's a letter we've been sent. Have a look at this box here with our bottoms up branding and everything. Why have you just got the letter? Where's Alan on it? Well, he sent it to me to pass on to you. What's the address between the pharmacy and the kebab shop? Or did you just hand it in, put it in your hand? You know what I've got? Slumped in the doorway. A wax seal. I've got my own wax seal personalised.
3:31Alan Carr:That's really bougie. Yeah. And slightly sad. So. What is it? Is it LP? It's just L. It's just L. L, because you like one word, you know, like Adele, Cher, Madonna, Liddle. Yeah. This is from Liddle Lee. So, dear Lee, please enjoy a wine made for people as fabulous as you and Alan. Don't worry, your name's... Okay, I'll buy it. Look at how he was. He's like... Also, consider this reparations for years of working with the loose ladies. Brackets, glow, sends her love. So let me explain. Lovely Gabriel, who I have met before, is the grandson of Gloria Hunniford. Imagine being the grandson of Gloria Hunniford.
4:15Alan Carr:Oh, she's sort of everyone's grandmother, really. She is, she is. She's super sweet. And he's launched a Côte de Provence, his own rosé. And he said to me, would you mind, you know, if I sent you a few? And he sent all this, all the props. Now, one thing, the reason I said yes is because he got me with the name Dame Essence. It's French. Beautiful. I love it. Classy. Lady Petrel. Dame Essence. Oh, I get it now. Lady Petrel. Yeah. So rather than, you know, you say it's not Lady Petrel, you say it's Dame Essence. Shall I pour? This box is for you. Pull that up. Is this for me? Mm-hmm. It's like a naked attraction.
4:57Alan Carr:Oh, yes, I like it. Oh, yes, I like it. Nice. Oh, lovely. Yeah. Oh, yes, yes, I'd bang it. Yeah, yeah. I'd have sex with that. Yeah, gorgeous.
5:11Alan Carr:Can I put it down now? Yeah, yeah, go for it. And the lid. That doesn't even make sense. So let's have a look. because we love a rosé, don't we? We love a rosé. Espresso martini and a rosé. Oh, nice. You have a nice smell of that? You're going to pop it back in the deck chair? Yeah, yeah. For those listening, Lee's popping the Lady Petrel back into his deck chair. And? And popping the cap on. She's very worried. Because she's a lady. Yeah, and she's very worried about, you know, ageing with the sun. So she's got a nice little cap there. Oh, lovely that. Lovely.
5:48Alan Carr:This episode is brought to you by ITV. Ah, Lee, there's no place like ITV is, sir. Do you know what I feel like with ITV? It's that kind of channel where they have the shows that make you talk to each other. It's about connection. It's about belonging, coming together. Like for me, the masked singer, I can't watch it on my own. I always like to sit and watch it with the family. We all sit, we all have our guesses. And I love that. It kind of brings people together. Have you ever guessed one of them's me? No, I never have guessed one of them. Every series, anyone with a high voice, that's Alan Khan.
6:25Alan Carr:I'm sitting home, it ain't me. I'm watching it. I'm shouting at the screen going, but it's not me. No, I know. It's me. But that's the thing. I like to do it with people. It feels like a game. It feels like you're in it. You're in the audience. You're in the live show. And then you get Mr Bates versus the post office, where that gets people talking about human stories, corruption, things that affect all of us. And it's that thing where with Mr. Vates versus the post office, you can't watch it if you're watching it with your partner, for example. You can't watch one without them. It's like cheating on them, isn't it?
6:56Alan Carr:You have to watch it together. That's a bit intense. Well, it's true. Really? If you watch a programme that you have done as a duo, as a group, and you go ahead, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. I say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's what I feel like with great telly. It's like joining that little club that you're an exclusive member of. Whether you want to be part of a huge national moment or keep up to date with all the memes in your group chat or simply want to join the catch-up convo at work, there's no place like ITV.
7:35Alan Carr:Frick, do you play with dolls when you were a kid? Yes. Oh, yeah. No shit. That's how my mum said she knew I was gay because I moved my action man into Barbie's dream house. And then I kicked Barbie out. So here we go. I have a taste of this. I never had dolls. I was always He-Man. Do you know what I like? But then He-Man's quite homoerotic, isn't he? Well, yeah, that is the thing because, yeah, like wrestling. I used to quite like wrestling. I love wrestling. Talked about that there, haven't we? But I was a different generation of wrestling. Did you ever fancy a cartoon character? I fancied Fred from Scooby-Doo.
8:13Alan Carr:I fancied Hercules when he got muscly. So when he went from like twink to like daddy. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. And then once I remember being quite lonely in Northampton and fancying the Jack of Clubs. Really? Oh. What was it about the Jack? Well, I was just playing with the cards and I thought, oh, he's a bit of... Just got me deck out and...
8:39Alan Carr:Well, I'll have a bit of that. I liked it in Aladdin. Jack's nice. Yeah. Jack. Yeah, this is Jack off. Honestly, you can do a lot with Jack off. I liked Aladdin, but I always knew I thought I was a little bit like, because I only liked it when he got like, turned into the prince, got a bit rich. I didn't like him when he was a street rat. So you were like, you were shallow even from an early age. Yeah, yeah. And that's good to admit. That's good to admit. Cheers, what do you think of this? Really nice. It's nice. It's nice. The thing is, with that, I shouldn't really have had a sip of the espresso.
9:08Alan Carr:Oh, it's nice. It's light. That's lovely. Again, I mean, we had Will Best on last week, didn't we? And he talked about creating a drinks brand. And I just think, I'm so in awe of people that are able to do it. Do you think we'll ever get a bottoms-up bottle? Do you reckon? I don't know. Bottoms-up bottle. Like a nice wine. What were you insinuating? I just was wondering, yeah. Do you think we'll ever, like... I don't think we could call it bottoms up. I think we'd have to call it like be you or something. Be you. Be about being yourself. Why are you rocking? Well, I don't know what you're saying.
9:46Alan Carr:Do you think we'll ever have our own drink? No, no one's going to trust us. Okay, let's move on to the next topic then. No, but no one's going to trust us with a wine, are they? Oh God. That's lovely. Do you reckon Gloria Hunniford drinks this? Oh, I reckon Gloria Hunniford is a champagne drinker. I bet she likes an iced champagne or a gin and tonic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Strikes me as that. Oh, I got some news. Go on. You know, me bin was stolen. What's happened? It's been found? Yes. Why? Guess who'd moved it? It wasn't stolen. Who? The next door neighbour said, your bin stank, so I moved it down the road.
10:19Alan Carr:To where? To where? Somewhere else? Yeah, just down the road. She said, your bin stank so bad. I said, it's a bin. Yeah, it's not meant to. What are you doing sniffing my bin? Do you know, I know someone, this is really bougie, who gets someone every week or two who comes round and they like clean the bin, scent the bin. The bin like has a makeover basically every few weeks. Oh my God. That's a real waste of money. Yeah, bin makeover. A bin makeover. The bin is like every week. The bin's quite sad and then it has like... It's like binscaping. Binscaping, yeah. You look after your bin. So do you reckon I should do that?
11:01Alan Carr:I wonder where I should pop a diptyque candle in. Don't put a diptyque candle in the bin. A bit of Febreze. No, I'd light it. I wouldn't just put it in the bin. You'd light the candle and then put it in the bin? Is that dangerous? No. I'll pop a couple of disposable barbecues on top. Light it, but it's the new virus. Stop bringing that up. But I'm glad. she'd moved it down there and she said it stank and she said well that's because you're never there you're away a lot now you're busy busy busy I know I know I'm busy but I'm doing tour stuff and living in the car how is the tour going dare I ask sometimes you get dare I ask no no because I say that with love because sometimes I don't want you you know you get very nervous people don't realise this about you but you do get nervous I do get nervous and how is it going I saw you at the Bill Murray very good thank you I think I'm in a good shape I need to write more stuff.
11:59Alan Carr:But obviously I've got to look after the castle now. And so I can't be down. Well, not just that. Oh, my God. Bloody film star. You're invite queens, I hear. I know. Are you the queen? No, I'm not. I play the bard. I play a very... So tell us about this. This is a new film that's been announced. An animation film. Yes. Have you done animation before? Yes, I was seagull number two in SpongeBob SquarePants. Was that cast? I've talked about this, haven't I? Was that cast or did you just happen to... No, that... And I did a rap with Antonio Banderas. Oh, my God. What was he playing? He was playing a pirate.
12:39Alan Carr:Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I went, I didn't even have to audition. That's good. I know. And then I was just, yeah. And then I thought, oh, my God, Antonio Banderas. How amazing. So, like, I packed me a Vita DVD and a Sharpie in my bag. And then, of course, he's not there, is he? Oh, yeah, you all do it remotely. Yeah, so I thought I'd meet him, but he wasn't there. So I'm just in a little booth in Soho going... What a sad story. I know. I know, I thought we'd be breaking to Hollywood. Well, maybe we'll get him on the show. Yeah, yeah. He's fit, though, isn't he? Oh, yeah. I mean, even the name.
13:18Alan Carr:Antonio Banderas. But it means flag in Spanish. Does it? So his entry's called Tony Flag. Tony the flag. Tony Flag. Tony Flagg. I mean, I don't fancy him anymore. Because isn't that Anton Dubeck? This is maybe not an exclusive, but what's his real name? Tony Burke. Tony Burke. Did you know this? Beak. Beak. It's Tony Beak. Oh, not Burke. Yeah. Oh, dear. Tony Beak. Like the seagull. Yes. And so I sing, because I did a rap as the seagull, so I wonder whether the producers of iQueen saw me doing the rap before I could sing. Well, this guy needs to get on stage. Yeah, so I sing. So what do you sing?
14:01Alan Carr:It's a gorgeous film. You can't tell us. No, I can't tell. It's a gorgeous film. It's Scandinavian. The animation is top-notch. It's so brilliant. And isn't the premise of, you know, we talk about the Vikings, actually. It was the wives. Yes, yeah. It's very empowering. It's great. And then I've got the premiere in Oslo in a couple of months. Oh, my God. You're going to go to the premiere? Of course, love. I'm going to wear me Liz Hurley dress with the old, what's it called? Not paperclips, were they? Oh, yeah, yeah. Safety pins. Safety pins. Probably look like a nappy on me. Alan's got his pins out.
14:40Alan Carr:This episode is brought to you by Chase. Oh, Lee, I don't know about you, but I just keep spending, spending, spending. I was saying this the other day, like it gets to midday, only midday, and I've tapped, tapped, tapped morning coffee, breakfast. First, it's like I'm always just paying for something. Well, I'm the same in the evenings. Takeaways, then I go to the cinema. Oh my God, it's too much. Well, I think with all that spending, we deserve a little something back. Well, that's where Chase comes in. Chase gives you 2 % cash back on everyday car spending. That includes spending on groceries, restaurants, everyday transport and fuel.
15:17Alan Carr:Well, restaurant sounds interesting. You can have a nice dinner, glass of wine, you get 2 % cash back. The perfect evening, basically. Search Chase Bank. 18 plus UK residents chase current and saver accounts required. Max£20 per month. Eligibility, qualification, exceptions and T's and C's apply.
15:40Alan Carr:So, when you say you sang, did you prepare for this? I feel like I should give you a few tips. No, I think you just wanted me to sing like that. Did you do a vocal warm-up? No. Did you ever do vocal warm-up? Why would you not voice like this? Why would you warm this up? Well, I thought we could play a game. Have you seen this online? The gargle game? Oh, no. What do you do? We're going to call this the gargle game. You just said that. Okay, so what happens? So, okay. I'm going to tell you. Which do you want me to gargle with? The espresso martini? I don't think we should gargle with that. Or do you think we should gargle with Rosie?
16:15Alan Carr:No, because that could get... Also, there's a bean in that. And if the bean gets stuck in your throat, and you'll have to lean over, flick me bean. Absolutely not. Gabriel, I hope you don't mind, but we're going to call this Gabriel's gargle. Yeah, that's good, that. Okay. You'll love that. So, I'm going to top you up. We're basically using your delicious wine as mouthwash. Pop it back on the deck chair, put his hat on. Actually, she's going to the toilet. What is happening? I don't know. So... I'm mental. She might not want to be on the ditch. Lady Petra's going for a piss. So. Okay. Right. It's called Guess My Gargle.
17:02Alan Carr:Guess Gabriel's gargle. Do you want to go first or shall I? All right.
17:10Alan Carr:Oh, I know it. Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Yeah. Oh, no, I don't have it in there. Okay. Shall I do one? Yeah, go on then. That was good, weren't it? Okay, I'm gonna do one. Here we go.
17:42Don't! Oh, don't.
17:54Hello? Hello?
17:58Alan Carr:This is such a nice restaurant.
18:03Alan Carr:Sorry. Sorry. I gargled too much. I put too much in. That was the least of your worries. It was... Did you get it? No. Did anyone get it? No. It was like you were having an asphyxi wank. Share my life. Oh God. We shouldn't carry on. What is it? I have nothing. Yeah. It's your theme tune. Okay, you do one more. Okay.
18:36Alan Carr:Keep going, I know it. Go on.
18:57Alan Carr:No, you know what it is. Poker face. Oh. Lady gargle. Oh, Lady gargle. Nice. This episode is brought to you by ADT. One second, you're enjoying your day off. The next, your phone buzzes. A window's been broken at home. You're miles away. In one second, everything can change. That's why ADT security systems can monitor your home 24-7. They're backed by the most company-operated monitoring centers in the industry, so you're always supported during an emergency. When every second counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com to learn more.
19:38This episode is brought to you by SoFi, the all-in-one finance app. The sooner you start investing, the more potential you have to build your money, even for beginners. SoFi makes it simple with an easy-to-use app. To get you going, SoFi is offering up to$1 ,000 in stock when you open and fund a SoFi self-directed brokerage account. Learn more at SoFi.com slash Spotify. Brokerage offer through SoFi Securities LLC. Member FINRA slash SIPC. Terms apply.
20:11Alan Carr:Alan, I've got something to get off my chest, and I never thought I'd say this, but you're looking quite good at the minute. Well, I ate it when you're right. There you were banging on about wild nutrition, collagen, 500 plus. I thought, here we go, Lee, with another health fad. But? But, well, I've been using it every morning. I knew it. I've been sprinkling it on my yoghurt and do you know what? I've seen a real difference in my skin. I was going to say that, actually. Hmm, ageing like a fine wine, you said. Well, I'm thinking I'm a bit more fabulous. You know, maybe I've got a bit more fizz than before.
20:52Alan Carr:So I guess what you're trying to get at here is I was right. Absolutely not. Collagen was right. There's a difference. Okay, if you say so. So if you fancy giving it a go, Wild Nutrition is giving Bottoms Up listeners an exclusive 50 % off their first three months, plus a free personal consultation with a nutritional therapist. Head to wildnutrition.com forward slash bottoms up. T's and C's apply.
21:24Alan Carr:A lot of history for me with the building has. It's the Whiteley in Bayswater. Yes. Well, I was reading about this actually because after we did last week, I thought I'm going to look up on the Whiteley. Did you know it actually started on Westbourne Grove? You don't know this. It started by a man who had, I think, a drapery business. Yeah. Started on and it took off so quickly and he ended up having most of Westbourne Grove. It was his. And then it became this building here. They moved over to Queensway. Because this is the oldest department store, I think, in the UK or Europe or something. Well, wasn't it this is kind of credited for actually bringing the department store to be a thing?
Read the full transcript
22:01Alan Carr:It never really was a thing before this, apparently. And then when Oscar Wilde went to Rome, he called Rome the white list of antiquities because it was so full of, because this was the place to be. And then we filmed bits of the Friday Night Project up there. And did you know this? Selfridge, Mr Selfridge bought Whiteley's, didn't he? No way. Oh my God. So the rival superstore, they bought them together. And this is quite mental. The guy that, Mr Whiteley, was shot by a guy claiming to be his illegitimate son. When did this happen? Yesterday. Oh, my God. And also, we're reading a book called London Falling.
22:44Alan Carr:Oh, my God, we're obsessed. And someone, one of Putin's enemies, accidentally fell off the roof, which is fine and totally not suspicious at all. So it's great to be here. We should do. No, but I was going to say, when he did the, you know, thing, it all became a bit of a mystery. What are you on about? When he shot Mr. Whiteley, it all became a bit of a mystery. Is he his son? Blah, blah, blah. And I was thinking, this is something we have in common. We love a murder mystery. We love like a crime, because you were into, what were you into? Was it Poirot? No, Agatha Christie. Miss Marple. Agatha Christie as well.
23:22Alan Carr:Agatha Christie, Sherlock Holmes. Do you think there's something about, because I was obsessed with Jessica Fletcher and that like, whodunit. Do you think there's something in like, we talked to Tom Allen about this and I don't want to stereotype, but there's something in gay men. Gays love them. And campness and the... And I think the hiding behind the shadows, who'd done it? I think people hiding something, I think it's that deep, that gay thing when you're growing up and you're hiding your real identity and who you really are. I think that plays into it a little bit. Yeah, yeah, and it's like...
23:57Alan Carr:I used to, I used to, please be a murder, please be a murder, because I wanted to solve a murder. But actually, when you're old, you think, that's the shitty thing that can happen in your street. Yeah. I wish there was a murder to spice things up. What a horrible thing to say. I know, I know. I remember saying to my mum once, she was ironing. She was ironing every Sunday. She was watching the omnibus of Coronation Street. And I said to her, I must have been about 15. And I said, I said, oh, Corrie's just got boring. I said, they need like someone to die in it or something or like a murder or something.
24:29And she went, sorry, I didn't realise that I brought up my son
24:33Alan Carr:to get his kicks off people being murdered. And I went, well, no, I said, it's just a bit boring at the minute. Sorry, Lee, if you need someone to die just to spice your life up a bit. I'm like, well, it's a soap. I'm not asking for them to actually die. What do you do to your own murderer? But I think there is something about like women, strong women, like that's Jessica Fletcher. As I was always obsessed with, I probably have said this before, you know, because in assembly, we had to basically answer what we wanted to be when we were older. and Sid said like a doctor, Annabelle wanted to be a ballerina, I genuinely said Mary Poppins because I was obsessed with Mary Poppins.
25:12Alan Carr:I was obsessed with strong women. Is Mary Poppins quite strong? Mary Poppins is the strongest of strong. Really? Because the thing is, you know, like with me, I like Jessica Fletcher and Miss Marple. I remember my dad sort of saying, I wonder whether he'll like blondes or brunettes. And actually it was greys. yeah grey's the short bob grey bob yeah yeah it was bleach blonde it was blue rinse blue rinse well we've got a lot to celebrate we have and I know we've mentioned this before we're nominated for we actually I don't know if we have mentioned we have mentioned that we're nominated for one but at the time we didn't know we're also nominated for another two podcast awards surely we're going to win one well surely you know it's nice to be double nominated.
26:03Alan Carr:No, it's not. It's nice to win two of them. No, I was going to say, it's more of a kick in the teeth if you lose two than lose one, you know. But we are nominated in the food and drink category and the Spotlight Award. Spotlight, that sounds good, doesn't it? What spot is that for like new, fresh, up and coming faces? Yeah, yeah. And Alan. No, so we're excited because we're going to go to an awards do, aren't we? Well, I was like, yeah. And I mean, I saw that I've moved something in my diary. So I'm going to go. You're going to go. I'm going to go. I thought, you know what? We haven't been going even a year, really, have we?
26:44And you think when we sat doing that wine tasting in Cape Town,
26:49Alan Carr:was it last year? Yeah, yeah. Last year, we came up with the idea and then to be nominated for two podcasts. I went, you know what? Even if we don't win, which I will be gutted and I will boo the winners. and you will leave early. And I will leave early, quite loudly.
27:05Alan Carr:Then I think we should go. We've got a lot to celebrate. Yeah, and it's nice to go with the team and we'll have a nice team night out and whatever happens. And you know what? People say, oh, you know, it's not about the awards. But it kind of is, isn't it? It is, really. It is. That's all we're doing it for. What are you going to wear? Have you ever been nominated for an award before? I think you're talking to the two-time winner of the Humberston Speech and Drama Award. So no, then. Now, have I ever been nominated for a proper award? Maybe this is the first time. Yeah. What are we going to wear?
27:40Alan Carr:Are we going to coordinate our outfit? Well, that's the thing. Have you seen that Posh and Bex when they both went in the leather? Yeah. What? Shall we do that? I think we look like two headrests. No, I wonder whether I... Do you know what I'd love to do? one of those things where you're like you know like in the Met Gala where you stand and then you just like pull a bit of string and it like reveals something else and it turns into a wine bottle oh my yeah well it is kind of podcast awards I don't know if people are going to that much trouble I think it's just at the O2 Indigo I think you just go in the side door maybe just a little yeah I wouldn't bother like yeah oh so you're not dressed as a bottle but I know if I'm sitting there and I see that they've put like a little step up so someone can do a speech I know that we've won.
28:25Alan Carr:Oh, you little prick. Do you know what's nice? Do you know what's nice about that? The fact that they even think Alan would let me speak. That's lovely. Well, on that note, bottoms up.
28:44Alan Carr:Now, Lee. Alan. We've received this. It feels very ominous. Two boxes have arrived on the table, sealed, and if rumour serves me rightly, you've received a letter. Yes. Dear Alan and Lee, I've been watching you. Oh. Quietly from afar. I know what you drink. I know what you reach for. I know the wines you claim to love. You think you know wine. How confident of you. I've selected five wines. You will not see the labels. You will not see the price. You will not know where they come from. You'll have only your senses. Taste them, judge them, score them, choose your favourites. But be warned, once all five have been tasted, their identities will be revealed and you may discover your instincts aren't quite as impeccable as you thought.
29:39Alan Carr:Your favourite wine may be the one you would have walked straight past. Ha, ha, ha! I'll be watching. Gloria Honeyford. Ha, ha, ha!
29:52Alan Carr:Why does she hate us? Gloria. No, it's the secret sommelier. The secret sommelier. Yes. Oh, my God. Do you think Gloria Haniford is Lady Petrel? Dame Vassance. Maybe she is. So this is very, like, deal or no deal. It's like, who is the secret sommelier? So we've been sent this. What are these stickers made of? I love the fact that they say they've been watching us. It's kind of horny. So. Oh, look at this. Oh my God, look at this. Oh, this is proper. We've got five secret sommelier. Are they in here? So basically, have a look at this. And this is something, oh, people can do this at home. So it's called the secret sommelier, wine tasting at home.
30:38Alan Carr:And how it works is you taste your way through the five mystery wines. I'm going to hold this up for the camera. No label, like you said in that sinister letter. No label, no price. You can't even see it. You just have to pour it from each box. And, oh, this is exciting. You've got a scorecard here. And you base it on style, price, you rate it out of 1 to 5 and any notes. It tells you here as well the bottle price is in this box. So, there's a£6.50 bottle, there's a£10 bottle, a£13, a£22 and a£22.50. But we don't know which of the 1 to 5 it is. I'm opening number one, Secret Sommelier. No label, no price, no preconception.
31:24Alan Carr:Just taste. Just taste. All right, so let's open this now. Oh, my God, this is putting us to the test. Oh, it's a rosé. It's a rosé. Okay, let's see. Number one. I think this is posh. So, sachet number two. Let's open this. Oh, it feels like Christmas. It's like fake tits. What? No, the bags. Oh, what? Oh, like chicken fillets? Not that mine are real lads. Chicken fillets, like. Oh, fuck. What's up with you? Why is your body rejecting wine? Even with that gargling it was all over, it was like a wet t-shirt competition. I know. No, that was not a compliment. All right. I don't think that is as nice as the first.
32:18Alan Carr:Number three. Here we go. Right, okay, I'm emptying the third sachet in there. Third sachet, ooh, a slightly darker colour. Oh, no, on me too. Oh, I can smell the orange. That does smell orange, but it is nice. Wine number four. Oh, my God, that tastes more orangey. I'm lying. I think the other one wasn't orange. I don't like that. It's got the orange vibe to it. I don't think it's that bad. Oh, fuck. It's all the same mark. That's open box number five. We might as well just have a bottle of wine. A little darker in colour. But then I think this is like the orange wine. Two gays in their search for orange wine.
33:02Alan Carr:That's definitely orange wine. You've said that for everyone. Actually, I think that's the Rioja Rose. I've scored mine, which I think is the nicest. Number one. We rated four out of five. Yes, we did. I can tell you, and I said I thought it was£22.50. Yeah. I was right. Wow. Drum roll, please.
33:25Alan Carr:Number one was Whispering Angel. Oh, my God. Look at me pretending to write this down. Lee, can I just stop you there? With all of this, I feel like we need a spin-off podcast to explain to people this game. I feel like Ed Gamble should be going, and after this, we've got the bottoms up. What's it called? Uncloaked. Uncorked. Uncorked. Where Ed Gamble will explain all of this. It's just like a normal night out for me, surrounded by half-filled glasses. You're not very good with games, OK? You don't listen. I love mind games. There is something to be said from this. You put number four and then the rest you put three.
34:09Alan Carr:So, and you have actually got that right. You rated the highest bottle of wine. Whispering Angel. Yeah, at number four. So you did do that. I'm going to put that down, whispering. Isn't it funny how I just knew that? Yeah, we knew that taste. So. But which one was the orange one again? That was the third one, Rosarange. I got rid of orange there. Did you when you crossed it out? So what I will say is, I think if you're doing this out, this is a really good thing because you can order it. You'll get like it through. Imagine if you're having a bit of a party, even a bit of a dinner party, and rather than dessert or anything like this, you can order it and go, right, let's have a bit of a game.
34:47Alan Carr:Because people like games, but actually it's a drinking game, really. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you so much to the Secret Sommelier. Although, should we say thank you? I was going to say, they're watching us at all time. Well, I'm going to pour all this back in the sachet. and I'm going to get the train and go home so yeah if you do want to play along head over to the secret sommelier on Instagram at the.secret.sommelier and you can get these delivered thank you so much Alan what a treat we've got five glasses of rosé to finish which one do we I think we should finish all those glasses I do too and if you want to watch us finish those glasses log on to Bottoms Up Uncorked hosted by Ed Gamble press the red button yeah press the red button with special guest host Gloria Honeyford.
35:37Alan Carr:That's it from us this week. Don't forget to head to YouTube and press that subscribe button. Yeah, do make sure you subscribe. There is plenty more where that came from. And also, if you can, please follow us on wherever you get your podcasts. And if you haven't already, we would really, really appreciate it if you leave a glowing review. It really helps with the algorithm. them. Please drink responsibly and don't forget to go to drinkaware.co.uk for more info. We always want to hear from you as well. Please email us bottomsup at listen.co.uk or message us on any of our socials at Bottoms Up Show.
36:12Alan Carr:If you've got dilemmas, questions, queries or general feedback, we want to hear from you. Bottoms Up with Alan Carr and Lee Peer is a Platform Media production. Bottoms Up!
36:30Fall never arrives all at once. First the air, then the light, and slowly the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress, a hoodie slips beneath a blazer, an old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season, you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports.
37:22Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro Plans.
From the publisher
This week on Bottoms Up! Alan and Lee take on a series of drinking games, from ‘Lady Gargle’ to ‘Naked Attraction: The Wine Edition’ and ‘The Secret Sommelier’. But can they really tell the difference between a £22 bottle of wine and one costing just £6?
Elsewhere, the boys reminisce about their childhood crushes. Alan reveals he was once enamoured with the Jack of Clubs on a lonely day in Northampton, while Lee had a thing for Hercules… but only once he’d beefed up.
And in showbiz news, Alan is about to become a movie star, starring alongside Rita Ora in a new animated film. He plays a lyrically challenged royal scribe and narrator - but can Lee give him some singing tips?
Drinks Featured:Dame Essence Côtes de Provence RoséEspresso Martinis Boschendal Sauvignon BlancThe Project Pinot NoirGraham Beck Brut
Chapters: 00:00 – Coming Up00:28 – Dame Essence: Lady Petrol06:35 – Alan Fancied WHO as a Child?09:06 – Alan’s Wheelie Bin Drama Continues11:04 – Hollywood’s Calling for Alan14:40 – Lady Gargle: The Drinking Game23:41 – Bottoms Up! at the British Podcast Awards26:44 – The Secret Sommelier
Drink responsibly, and as always… Bottoms Up!
Bottoms Up! With Alan Carr and Lee Peart is a Platform Media production.
Get in touch with the show: bottomsup@listen.co.uk
Follow us on Instagram: @BottomsUpShow
Wild Nutrition is giving Bottoms Up! listeners an exclusive 50% off for your first three months, plus a free personal consultation with one of their nutritional therapists. Just head to wildnutrition.com/bottomsup. T&Cs apply.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices