Alan Carr Bought A CASTLE?! Lee’s in Tears & Gherkin Cocktail Chaos!

21:18Alan Carr:Fresh and zingy, with a bit of personality. tea. I like it. It's nice. It tastes expensive. I know it's affordable, but it just tastes expensive. Okay. So, oh yeah. Oh, that's very drinkable as well. That's what you want with a wedding. You just want to like, it goes down easily. It's all fine. This is usually priced, I'll just say this, in supermarkets,£7 to£12. So the top end, this is a Baronia one and that's at the top end at£12 a bottle. So how many bottles are you thinking for a wedding of 150 people? You're thinking about 70, 80 bottles really, aren't you? People only have like half a bottle of wine at a wedding.

21:59Alan Carr:God, you need a big drink at a wedding. They're so boring. And that bit in the middle, watch that bit in the middle. Have you, because I've... You just end up drinking, you know, the bit in the, the boring bit in the middle. What's the bit in the middle? The vows. No. No, no, that bit where they piss off. Oh, you've done it. And then you're walking around a town. Yeah, and they go and get their photographs, don't they? They do the whole photo shoot. That's where you want to, I think, bring out the cocktails if you can, Catherine. Because you want the wine with the dinner, I'm guessing. Yeah, yeah, but then don't you drink through that bit as well?

22:37Alan Carr:And then you're a hot mess for the... Oh, I know, and there's always drama at weddings, isn't there? I love that. Someone always gets it wrong with the best man speech, don't they? There's always one who doesn't read the room. Yeah, yeah. There was one saying about how he'd shat himself and then smeared the poo all over the patio doors. People don't want to hear that. No, no. Oh, God. Who was that?

23:01Alan Carr:John Smith. No, yes. I mean, and also my thing with weddings is in the good old days, you had a hen and stag and it was one night. Now you have to book a week off work. I mean, you've got rollerblading, go-karting, paintballing. And I've got a rule, right? If you're having an abroad wedding, do not have your hen or stag abroad. Yes. I think... It gets a dear do. It really does, all right? Do not do that. I've actually emceed a wedding before and I've done the... I didn't get ordained, but I did the speech. I married two people. Have you ever done that? No, but you know who married me, don't you?

23:41Alan Carr:Yes. Adele. You can't ruin with that. That is the ultimate. That is amazing. And then, of course, then we had to go to the sheriff's office and hand in the certificate, marriage certificate. Who married you? And I said, oh, Adele. You Brits are crazy. I said, it is Adele. You shouldn't believe it. You wouldn't know, would you? You Brits are crazy. Did she dress up? Did she dress as like, because I always imagine, the late great Catherine O 'Hara from Schitt's Creek, was it? She did dress a bit like that. Did she? Yeah. Okay, we're now moving on to Sauvignon Blanc. It's a classic choice for crowd-pleasing white wine, especially in summer.

24:18Alan Carr:It's lively, it's aromatic, and it goes well with a variety of wedding foods. Now, for those watching, if you just have a look at these two glasses here, as you can see on this one with the Deo, a little bit more oaky, isn't it, in colour, like you can tell. This is going to be light. this is gonna be we did the taste the texture test didn't we so this goes well with a variety of wedding foods salad chicken seafood it's from New Zealand nice and punchy with crisp citrus and fresh herbs or as the Americans would say herbs I love how they say herbs they go herbs don't they have you got any herbs with that herb no herby no never never not important the go to wedding white for putting a spring in every guest's step.

25:06Alan Carr:I think this is overpowering. I knew you wouldn't like this because you don't like, you're more oaky. It's too floral. You're like an oaky-coaky kind. This would split the room. Would it? This is people say, get a divorce. You see, this is where I'm differing with you because I think that is guaranteed you're safe. No. So it's weird, isn't it? No, don't like it. Because I would say that. I don't like it. So, this Sovy B, is it common saying sovy bee I love I love saying it I actually don't I don't love a sovy bee but that's actually quite nice that's 8 to the 15 pound range Catherine this Marlborough by the Ned is also 12 pounds so we've got the same for 12 pound there so you probably yeah have to do a bit of a that's the good thing about weddings as well because you do go and do a bit of a taste test yourself don't you yes yes you go and have like you see what food you want you fly out there if it's abroad or you go up there and you go right Like, this is what we're doing.

26:02Alan Carr:It is a lot of money there to get people abroad, though. Can you see you ever getting married? You're in, like, a loving relationship. Do we see? I don't know. Like, I always use... I do love a party. Yeah. I quite like to have, like, a marriage in, like, a big English country. Maybe at your castle, if you ever find one. Yes. I could get married at your castle. I'll give you a good rate. I will. Double the price. Can we hear the pitter-patter of tiny little legs and feet as you run to the... I say it right.

26:34Lee Peart:as I walk up the aisle.

26:38Alan Carr:I'm just going to... The insults are so predictable now, I know them before you say it. Right. Tell us about this. What is it? Pinot Grigio. Now, I don't think you can go wrong with a Pinot Grigio as far as I'm concerned, Catherine. Oh, you can. Oh, no, is it not? No, it's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's just a relief from that one. That's so flawless. Well, actually, you've got three different kind of levels of color here. So you've got the first one, the Vedeo, which quite oaky in terms of the color there. On the other end, the Sauvignon Blanc, very pale, almost kind of, you've got a bit in the middle.

27:11Alan Carr:I'd say that's a little bit more, but yeah, here we go. Pinot Grigio, it's safe. It's crowd-friendly. White wine that almost everyone enjoys. Light, refreshing, and pairs beautifully with lighter summer wedding menus. Classic bottles from regions like Veneto or Friuli are typically dried with gentle fruit and clean acidity priced around the£7 to£12 mark. Now, before I drink this, can you remember when she said if it's acidic, what do you get? You get that kind of ting in your jaw. Are you getting that? Let's have a taste. That's it for me. I don't even need to carry on. That Pinot Grigio, perfect, I would say.

27:52Alan Carr:For me, it's that one. Oh, really? That one's nice. I feel that one feels a bit special, a bit more special. That is no. But the thing is, Alan, I will say this. It's a wedding and it has to be safe. That's what I'm saying with the dilemma. This one, the Video, is nice, but I don't know if it would be everyone's taste if they don't love the oakiness of it, whereas you've got the nice kind of... And also, it's around the£9 mark. All right then, yeah. So if you are buying a few bottles... Yeah, yeah. All right then. So that's the best one. You're at Pinot Grigio, yeah? Well, it's saying here, for a good rule of thumb, is to plan on about half a bottle of wine per guest during the meal.

28:33Alan Carr:This usually means that people will enjoy two to three glasses each while eating. For 150 guests, that works out roughly 75 bottles of wine. But if you're... I love our producers. But if you're inviting me and Alan, then that should just about cover us. So you may want a few more. Ha, ha, ha. How dare you all. Rude. Rude. So I think, basically, if you want to go a little bit bougie, go for maybe the Video, but I think the safe option is the Pinot Grigio. Yeah, I concur. And of course, always drink responsibly. Visit drinkaware.co.uk for more information. Information. Cheers, Catherine. Swan. Oh, I wonder what her new name will be.

29:17Alan Carr:Maybe she'll keep it. Swan, yes. Swan. That's quite a nice idea. I wonder if she's got a long neck. A little bit of a virgin swan. Swan by name, swan by nature. Does she like bread? Will she break your arm if you go near her children? Happy wedding day. Bottoms up. To the swans. Now, when it comes to drinks, we like to think we know what we're doing. Well, thank God for our next guest, because she really knows what she's doing. Model-turned-mixologist who regularly wakes me up from Sunday brunch with something stiff. It's Portia Freeman.

29:57Lee Peart:Woo!

29:59Alan Carr:And oh my, I feel like moving around, we're at a bar. We're at Portia's bar. Hey, toots, how are you?

30:07Lee Peart:I feel like Peggy Mitchell and I'm like living in my best life. I'm loving this.

30:11Alan Carr:Who would we be in EastEnders? Ethel and a little Willie? We could be the Mitchell brothers. Mitchell brothers. Brandon Phil. Yeah, literally, my boys, you're my boys.

30:21Lee Peart:Yeah.

30:23Alan Carr:What would you call, because me and my friends used to have this thing where we'd like, if we had a pub, what would we call it? I always thought a good name for a pub is the Drunken Leprechaun. Oh, I like that. Yeah, yeah. What would you call yours? What would you call yours?

30:35Lee Peart:I'm going to have to have a think about that and come back to you because that's a really good question.

30:38Alan Carr:And I thought for a cocktail bar, Kel Surprise. Oh, that's good. Yeah, Kel Surprise. You're going down Kel tonight.

30:46Lee Peart:What would be your signature cocktail?

30:48Alan Carr:Oh, a blood orange margarita.

30:49Lee Peart:Love a blood orange margarita, babes. Yeah, I'm going to make one of them soon.

30:53Alan Carr:Speaking of names, Portia's a lovely name. Thanks, folks. Yeah, I love the name Portia. What's it mean?

30:59Lee Peart:I think I actually drew the short card with my name because everyone's always like, oh, that's a really glamorous name. How do you spell it? How do you say it? All this. And then when someone says, what does it mean? I'm like, pig in Latin.

31:09Alan Carr:It's Latin. You are so not a pig.

31:12Lee Peart:I'm like, thanks, Mum. Cheers. But yeah, pig in Latin.

31:15Alan Carr:When you were born, did she go, oh, she's a Portia. Yes, she is.

31:18Lee Peart:She reminds me of a pig, bless her, like rocking me.

31:21Alan Carr:Because you know Alan in Greek means handsome.

31:23Lee Peart:Does it? Does it?

31:24Alan Carr:Yeah.

31:25Lee Peart:Well, there we go, babes.

31:26Alan Carr:What does it mean in English? Listen, we have something in common already because I love cocktails. And so many people, you know, we've been focusing on wine, but we wanted to like slightly branch out and we're going a little bit further afield. Not fully, are we? But how did you get into cocktails? Now, people have said to me, you're a mixologist. I'm not. I call myself a cocktail enthusiast. Are you the same?

31:53Lee Peart:I agree. I fully, and I think a mixologist is a big name. And I think it is very, I don't know, I think it's overused for the wrong people.

32:02Alan Carr:Isn't it like, you know, some people say chef or the safe home cook.

32:05Lee Peart:This, this, this, this. And I think also it's like, well, I'm self-titled home cocktail queen.

32:10Alan Carr:Okay.

32:11Lee Peart:Because I don't work behind a bar and I've been doing it for six years. Yeah. And I think a mixologist is like, it's a skill, right? Yes. people have worked on it's like chemistry it's chemistry it's science it's actual wizardry it's wizardry babes so I'm just like if I hear that I'm like like squirm a little bit if I'm honest yeah because I'm just a bit like that's a big title

32:32Alan Carr:and this podcast is all about being accessible and that's what I want where you know you can go oh I can make a nice cocktail at home

32:39Lee Peart:you couldn't you couldn't have been like that's literally what I always say like whenever I make my cocktails at home because if I'm honest I don't stand behind a professional bar often it will be if I'm doing like doing masterclass or whatever, but it's all about accessibility, relatability, and just everyone being included. It's not about separation or anything like that. It's about everyone joining in. Whether it's with booze or not, everyone can be included.

33:02Alan Carr:So what are we doing? So you've got a cocktail. I'm told, is it with a bit of wine, though?

33:06Lee Peart:We've got a little bit of wine. We've got a frisante wine, which actually, I've recently learned it's just a lightly fizzy wine. It's an Italian wine. It's really nice when we get it out of the fridge. but also it's a fail-safe wine that I use for cocktails. It's sweet, it's demi-sec and it just, if you're going to put it into a cocktail it just sort of almost adds the sweetness instead of a syrup and with this cocktail I'm going to make for you guys I'm actually really excited to see your reaction. You invented this. Yeah. Oh my god! But I don't know, I don't, like it could flop. Like you guys.

33:40Alan Carr:It's not going to flop.

33:41Lee Peart:Well no, so basically it's, I'm going to make it for you while we talk about it.

33:44Alan Carr:it's a um a white brine spritz a white brine brine now can like right i know i know okay that's all we've got time for on bottom so we'll see you next signal cut out no basically right

33:58Lee Peart:because everything i do is all at home all the cocktail creation it's all about what we can find in our kitchen cupboards our fridge freezer whatever and brine of olives capers pickles it's everywhere that sort of savory do you hate the savory vibe oh i love pickles you're into a

34:14Alan Carr:pickle oh he's in a pickle yeah it's not my favorite but yeah i'm gonna give it a go because

34:21Lee Peart:i'm sure you're the best well it's kind of sweet weirdly it's like a i'm a little bit like i'm just yeah anyway i'm gonna do what you think so we've got some gin going on going and this is a nice london dry i think having a london dry is just nice and easy it's like you know you can just pop it into a cocktail and it will still you'll still get the undertone of a gin but it still lets the cocktail do the talking.

34:43Alan Carr:So how much of that are we doing?

34:44Lee Peart:So we're doing 40 ml of gin. Like I said, you don't want it to be like overpowering.

34:49Alan Carr:No.

34:50Lee Peart:Sort of liquid stuff. It's nice. I get asked to do these things where they say, can you actually explain what that means? And then I'm like describing it in flavour and I'm just like... It's working, love. Do not worry.

35:01Alan Carr:It's working. This is a beast, right. Ah, yes. Is that like a bergamot-y type liqueur, is it?

35:07Lee Peart:It's so good. It's an aperitif and it's literally, with your blood orange margaritas, take out the Cointreau if you use it, add a bit of that. Oh, my days. This in a margarita is one of my favorite things. Yeah.

35:19Alan Carr:Rather than a triple sec, Cointreau.

35:22Lee Peart:I love, it's a different flavor. This is more herbaceous. It's got bergamot. It's got like that sort of citrusy feel. And I think it just sort of, it brings back the flavor a little bit. You do the ice always last, as late as possible.

35:35Alan Carr:To avoid dilution.

35:36Lee Peart:to avoid dilution because honestly I didn't know that yes anything ice is your best friend with a cocktail it's the most important ingredient for a cocktail but it can ruin a cocktail so quickly if it's not looked after if you've got water I can talk about ice

35:49Alan Carr:I can too

35:50Lee Peart:babes

35:50Alan Carr:big ice and also if the ice cubes are so small they'll just dilute straight away no

35:58Lee Peart:but that's true it's also we don't need it honestly clear ice babes clear ice clear ice

36:06Alan Carr:I've got to go back. Hey, YouTube crazy kids. What have you been talking about?

36:13Lee Peart:Wild times over here. Where's my brine? Right, get a whiff on that, both of you. This is my brine.

36:21Alan Carr:Ooh.

36:22Lee Peart:What are you thinking?

36:23Alan Carr:I'm thinking great. This is a bit of me. And I've been getting tickled.

36:28Lee Peart:Right, so have a sniff in there, Alan. See if that's helping your senses.

36:35Alan Carr:I don't know what you're thinking about there. It's quite strong.

36:38Lee Peart:Can you smell the bergamot in there? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. Is that the herbaceous feel? Yeah, floral.

36:44Alan Carr:Bit of an orangey kind of... Exactly. Yes, nice.

36:46Lee Peart:So that with your London dry is going to be literally just like pairing beautifully. And then we're going to add the brine, 15 ml. And basically also, because the... Where'd you get the brine from? Maybe a pickle jar in the fridge.

36:59Alan Carr:So this is nice big ice here. Big ice. And you know what I know is when people go? they go not loads of ice I don't want it diluting I'm like the more ice the more ice

37:08Lee Peart:the less dilution you'll have babe I can't when they say like well no I can't and also with the ice if it's like only half filled and then you can see it melted and it's all like sad no I can't

37:19Alan Carr:I can sometimes tell by looking at it

37:21Lee Peart:oh babe you can tell the minute you look at it it is literally awful five hours later enough with the ice chat

37:29Alan Carr:please can I be included in this conversation right

37:32Lee Peart:Right, so listen, what we're going to do next, yeah, is fill the glasses up and then you're going to swizzle. Just technically stir, right? You're going to stir it. So basically, we are going to dilute the spirits because we don't want them to be, you're going to have a straw in a minute. I don't want you to have a massive mouthful of really strong spirit that's warm or, you know, it hasn't been diluted. Because you do want the ice to do its job. That will be topped up in a minute with more ice. The ice is really important, Alan. Yeah, I know it is. It is.

38:01Alan Carr:The surface area as well.

38:02Lee Peart:Yeah, also this as well. So can you see the little... When you see the water coming out on the side, that's your surface level ice, like what you were just saying. And you do want that in the cocktail with this sort of cocktail, isn't it? Right, next up, we're going to top up with our demi-sec. Now, how do you feel about screw tops?

38:19Alan Carr:Well, I asked this... Oh, did you? Yes, on a previous episode. And a lot of people have sent this in. And they've said, apparently, it's fine. It's absolutely fine, screw top. And actually, you're safer with a screw top because it might not cork.

38:35Lee Peart:Right, in here, we're going to do 80 to 100 ml. Again, it's your palate. I'm going to go with 80 to start because I think you can add if you wanted a little bit more. I'm topping it up with a bit of soda water. Now, this cocktail, guys, well, I say spritz. It's a spritz. It's one of those which I genuinely think is going to be really coiffable in the summer because it's actually, I mean, it's got quite a bit of booze in it, but it doesn't feel like it. It doesn't taste like it. I don't know. We'll see. I want to see your reactions.

39:03Alan Carr:Anyway. Now, what I will say about this is, I think, a garnish. Oh, have you already got the... Oh. Oh, my God. What's that?

39:12Lee Peart:Cheeky garnish. Okay, so this is a pickled rose. How do you make that?

39:18Alan Carr:Is that a pickle?

39:19Lee Peart:It is basically little sliced pickles and then into an ice cube mould and bish, bash, bosh.

39:26Alan Carr:Brilliant.

39:26Lee Peart:Do you know what I mean? Also, you can... Because I'm all about, right, I can't stand garnishes that are wasted. Either incorporate it where you can eat it maybe, or I don't know, I just think there's so much waste around garnishes.

39:38Alan Carr:I've never ever seen a pickle being used as garnish, have you? No, but I love this because you know what? Before you put that in, it didn't even look like a cocktail necessarily. A garnish is, it's like the icing on the cake, isn't it?

39:52Lee Peart:Yes, it definitely is. I think it seals the deal. And I think also it's like you can go, I mean, I'm all about like having a nice garnish that can be incorporated. It can complement the cocktail, all of this. And I think garnishes can go a little bit crazy overboard. However, that's edible. It's only going to contribute to your cocktail. And it looks bloody cute. Yeah. Bright.

40:09Alan Carr:And it's different as well. We live in a world now where people play safe with cocktails. This is different. Can you imagine serving this? People would be so intrigued by it.

40:16Lee Peart:I mean, it's like, it's...

40:17Alan Carr:I can't wait to sip it, can I?

40:18Lee Peart:Yeah, yeah.

40:19Alan Carr:So what do you call this? The pickle...

40:21Lee Peart:This is my white brine spritz.

40:22Alan Carr:White brine spritz.

40:24Lee Peart:Cheers, sir.

40:24Alan Carr:Cheers. Bottoms up. Thank you so much. Okay, let's go. let's see

40:32Lee Peart:talk to me Alan tell me what's going through your brain right now

40:36Alan Carr:is it pickly okay I'm getting a whiff of pickle and that's fine you think you think pickle? that's brine that's brine I'm brine with that right you know what I like about that

40:53Lee Peart:oh my god I'm dead

40:54Alan Carr:when you drink it and I love pickle you get the pickle hit straight away. Then the pickle, you know... Develops. Well, you then get that bergamot coming through. Yeah. I love this, all right? Do you? Yeah, I absolutely love this. And... Oh, my God, yeah. Portia.

41:18Lee Peart:Yes, both. Pig.

41:21Alan Carr:Piggy. Very quickly, if you were going to be a cocktail, what would you be? A classic cocktail.

41:26Lee Peart:I think I'd have to be a Negroni.

41:28Alan Carr:Nice. You like your gin, don't you? Love my gin.

41:31Lee Peart:Love it.

41:32Alan Carr:Well, thank you so much. And thank you for doing this cocktail. It just shows how easy it is to make at home.

41:36Lee Peart:So, so easy.

41:37Alan Carr:Well, we'll give the recipe on the episode description if people want to make it and try it. I love it. If you've enjoyed this episode of Bottoms Up, don't forget to join us next week for more Irresistible Wine. And please, if you haven't already, it really does help. Please leave us a review, like and subscribe. And as always, we want to hear from you. If you've got anything to ask, any dilemmas, we're at Bottoms Up Show on socials, aren't we, Alex? Yes, our inbox is always open for you. And of course, don't forget, please drink responsibly, even if it's got a pickle in it. More information is at drinkaware.co.uk.

42:13Alan Carr:And if you want to email us as well, it's bottomsupatlisten.co.uk. Next week on Bottoms Up, we're joined by Blur's very own Alex James. Oh, my God. Portia, thank you so much. I love it. I love you. Cheers. Love you boys. One thing left to say. Bottoms up.

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