Alan’s Sexual Awakening, Meryl Streep Sequels & Hangover Free Wine?!

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1:26This episode of Bottoms Up is brought to you by Tilda Rice, the UK's favourite rice brand. Lee, be honest, how often is your dinner good? Well, it depends how you define good. I've started living on my own, so I'm cooking on my own, and the bar is pretty low. But I like to think I've got standards, Alan. I pop a plate out, knife and fork, napkin. I even sit upright, actually. You sit upright. I know, I'm zhuzhing myself up a bit. Well, that's where Tilda rice comes in. They've been at it for over 55 years, they're proper experts. And you know their basmati rice? They ate it for up to 18 months.

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2:49You know? Show us again? What? Sophie's second choice. I just think, damn it. Just ignore them. Ignore all of them. Is it you? Is it you on your fake account? Oh, please. I don't have that many fake accounts.

3:10Hello and welcome to Bottoms Up, the weekly wine podcast with Alan Carr and Lee Peart. Yes, like two old lushes still propping up the bar, we are not going anywhere. So you may as well pour yourself another one and stay tuned. Later on, we're joined by the marvellous Gabby Lamb, who invented her own wine when she couldn't find one suitable for her in the supermarket. Oh, the dream. She invented her own wine? She invented her own wine. She's a boss. Is it go, boss? Oh. Wow. Before that though, we've got a welcome drink, as we always start with a lovely welcome drink. And we can choose whatever we want, can't we?

3:51We're not beholden to anyone when it comes to... No, yeah, we're rebels. Yeah. And this is Ark Wine. I'm loving this wax seal. Do you like a wax seal? Because you know I've got my own wax seal for envelopes. It's quite a bougie thing. I gave you a birthday card once and it had a little L wax seal on it. Oh, my God, yes. It's quite sinister. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty nice. Yeah, I thought it was good. It's like a poison pen letter from Henry VIII. You were. So... Yeah, but how do you get it off? Oh, yeah, how do you get it off? I think you cut it. You cut it. Yeah. But if I'm gagging for a while and I come back with that waxing on...

4:33Well, listen, we've got one here. This is just for show. You can have these two. This is because I know you love a red. And one of the biggest things that I think this podcast has taught us is I like a Pinot Noir now. I was a bit like Pinot Noir, quite wishy-washy, but we've had a few on here and they've actually been just as nice as a mold bit. And I will say this, I went out the other week, sorry, the other day, I took my friends to Sunday Roast. And it's about three o 'clock in the afternoon and I wanted a red with the roast. and I thought, I don't want a heavy red. I want light. And I went for a Pinot Noir and it was perfect.

5:10He says as he pops the cork. I've got some tasting notes for you here as well. Let me pour this for you. Let me be mother. Oh, look at that. Cheers. So this is Arc Wines, all right. Oh, got gorgeous smell. Oh, yeah, yeah. Nose, nose. I am learning nose. Yes, you are. Oh, God. Is it nice? It's really nice. I like that. So, apparently we've got soft caramelly in it. Are they putting caramel down there? Have a look. Caramel's not in there. Do you want to go again? Okay. What are you getting from it? Come on, let's see if you've learned anything. Hello and welcome to Arc Wine Quiz with Alan Carr. What are you getting?

5:56Shitfaced. that is a consequence of drinking quite a lot please drink responsibly guys you got anything else I'm getting it's I'm getting like a caramel it's not a fruit it's not through it's not through it's not through it's going down that's funny because it's in middle earth the first thing is soft dark fruit plums and cherry and blackberry so actually I think it is fruit Do you have a taste? Is it fruit? It's delicious, but it's not fruit. No, I'll tell you what you're getting. Okay, there is fruit on there, but you've got lingering tannins, tobacco, and leather with blackberry and a spice.

6:40I'm getting leather. So you're getting leathered. No, but it's delicious. So this is, I will say, what is great about this is it's a Suffolk wine. Oh, nice. No, I really do like it. From the Mount Farm Vineyards. This is called Ark Wine and it is really nice. And I chose this because you love a label. Look at these labels. Bit of art on there. I know, wonderful. Isn't it funny with Suffolk, because we had like a Fisher's Gin, didn't we, last, well, a few weeks back now. And that area is so ripe and rich that it makes all this lovely, gorgeous drink. And I think it's just going to get better and better.

7:19How have you been, firstly? How are you? Well, how are you? We're both in the same predicament. I don't mean being gay. I guess I would say the same, but different. No. We're moving house. We're moving house. Now, listen, you're moving to a bedsit. I'm moving to a castle. But I still... It's still the same. It's still the same, but very different. Yeah, no, moving house. I haven't changed, have I? No, no, moving is moving whatever. And I'm like putting all my stuff in a box. Do you get nostalgic? Have you found things? Yeah, I found like old, you know, old clippings about me and everything. And then, you know what, I'm like, I'm such a narcissist.

8:00I'm like, oh my God. Then I start reading it and then it's midnight. Because packing's a bit like, you know when you say like a rabbit hole on the internet? When you start opening boxes, I'm seeing old photos, old clippings, old things, old memories. It's weird, isn't it? And then, do you reckon you'll be emotional when you leave your place? Yeah, I've realised I'm a bit of a hoarder because, and I'm trying to do that thing. Do you remember that book ages ago? I can't remember who wrote it, but it was, she used to say it has to spark joy. If nothing sparks joy, you would get rid of it. Yeah, yeah.

8:31Because I've always been, like, envious of those people who, you know, live very minimally. I like to keep things or whatever. I found, like, I found the other day an unopened box of Guess Who that I randomly bought. I don't know why. I was trying to, I just thought, oh, maybe one help. I have flashbacks to Guess Who. Do you know what? If you had Claire, you were fucked. Why? Claire, she was a woman. She had glasses and a hat. You could be out in free goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You could. My woman, glasses, hat, Claire. But you know the first woman, well, probably the first and last woman I ever fancied.

9:11Maria. From Guess Who? Yeah, do you remember? I can't remember what she looked like. She had a beret, long dark hair. But then I started moving on to Alfred. Oh, really? That's when I realised I was gay. Yeah, when you're going... Because I was like, for Marie, and then I'm friends with a bit of Alfred. Yeah, yeah. And then Bernard with his fruit pastel hat. Oh, yes, of course. If I ever went on Mastermind, it would be Guess Who? Guess Who characters? Do you remember Anne with the big earrings? I don't, funnily enough. Okay. But my friend did make for his boyfriend his big kind of RuPaul's Drag Race.

9:46Yeah. And he got a Guess Who board set and made his own drag queens on there. And it was called Guess Roo. And it was a little spin-off. Oh, my God. So it was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, which was a good thing. But yeah, I feel like I've hoarded a lot of things. I've tried to be quite like, get rid of this. You've thrown a lot of stuff out. Thrown a lot of stuff out. You've kept that shirt. Okay. Thank you. This is new. Thank you very much. No, no, just ask it. I love a tile. But I am going to... I am going to... Listen, I'm in sheer today. I know, I'm just looking at you. Jesus Christ. One lit match and you'll go up like a bloody...

10:28It's called fashion. Look it up. Yeah, it's called fashion. Yeah, maybe try it sometime. Isn't that gorgeous? Oh, I must contact Sunita.

10:42For anyone listening, he's got petals all over him. Well, I'm going to live on my own. That's what I'm going to say. I'm moving in on my own. Oh, my God, what a surprise. No one wants to live with me. No, no, no. I'm going to be living on it because I live on my own all the time. It's a bit nerve-wracking, actually, because you're always a bit like, oh, God, but I've lived on my loan. Lived on my loan. I've lived on my loan, my overdraft. Well, congratulations. I know you had a birthday this week. Oh, yes. Oh, God. Yes, it was my birthday. Or was it? It wasn't, was it? For anyone listening or watching, we've found the greatest hack of anyone's life, haven't we?

11:25So we go to this nice restaurant, and I always do this old joke where I always go, have what you want, love, I'll get it. It is your birthday. And everyone goes, ha, ha, ha. Well, the lovely waitress happened to be lingering around. They heard it. Yeah. And so right at the end, happy birthday to you. She comes out with a chocolate cake and a candle in it and we're going, oh my God, whose birthday is it? I can see her coming towards Lee. And she plogs it down, happy birthday. And then you... It's not till July. I know, but it's not my birthday. But they still went with it. I know, and that's what I mean.

12:08It's the best hack. If you ever want to get a free dessert, just tell the restaurant or the waitress it's your birthday. Then have a check. Yeah, but you didn't even go with her. It's not my birthday. It's not my birthday. I'm not going to lie. Just take the cake. No, because I want to come back in July when it is my birthday. Yeah, but then they're going to think it's a hoax. But they're going to think we're two con artists that turn up and go... I will say, I was particularly suffering that day, wasn't I? Yeah, I had that. You saw two sides of me. You saw the side where I pretended to be asleep.

12:45Yeah. Because I just, I couldn't be bothered to. Yeah, you are like that. I know we celebrate wine and everything in here, but people don't know the other side of Lee. What? Commissable Lee. The morning after Lee. In mourning. Yes, yeah. No, that particular day. And you were there, you were quite tight-lipped and you were pretending to sleep. I enjoyed the silence. I know, I was pretending to be asleep because I couldn't do a lot because I was like, I was still struggling through and I remember I was like lying there. Even when the birthday came out, you were like Liza Minnelli. I know, it really changed me immediately.

13:24I know, yeah, you know. But I remember being asleep and, well, being pretend asleep and hearing, don't worry, loves. He'll have a rosé and he'll soon perk up. How it didn't take me all my might to go for you then. And was I right? You were so right. Yeah. Rosé and a piece of birthday cake. I know. And I was like, who's coming out? I know, I know. Is it funny? Oh, and it was good because I've just, the sunshine, I feel like we're past the gloom. We're past the doom. It has been a grim history month. Weird. And I feel like we're on it now. Yeah, yeah. What are we going to do for summer? It's going to be a weird summer for you because you are moving as well.

14:03I know you can't talk too much about it. No, no, I am moving. It's going to be sad because I've been at that house for 14 years, but ready for a move, ready for a change. I'm 50 this year. I know I don't look it. No, you don't. Thank you. Do you know what? I will say, and it's hard, but you don't look, you look good for your age. Well, it's healthy. And I know your lifestyle. I know, so I'm shocked. It's healthy living.

14:31Why don't I look shitter? I don't know. And you're not very good. You don't really have skin care, Rachie. No, I don't. I don't drink water. I hate water. Yeah, you don't really. I hate water. I don't exercise. I don't wash. I don't wash. I don't brush my teeth. I don't comb my hair. Yeah. Yeah. And for anyone watching. They agree. You've basically made up my stick of the dump. No, you're not. You're not. You're not. I want to talk about Devil Wears Prada. Da. Two. Thank you for that. I travel a lot. Can you believe it? Meryl Streep, I read this. She doesn't really do sequels. Have you noticed?

15:15She doesn't really do... Mamma Mia. Yeah, apart from Mamma Mia 2. Yeah, but she wasn't really in it, was she? She's pretty dead. Kramer vs. Kramer 2. Did you? Sophie's Choice 2. Sophie's Second Choice. I'm jumping. Damn it.

15:34Oh, no. Well, I'm on it. What other things has she been in? Now I'm desperate. I'm desperate. There must be another Sophie's second choice. Birth becomes her. What a heart. Death becomes her. Oh, yeah. Anyway. So, anyway, she does do sequels, but... Devil wears pride. Thanks for that. Inside the show, Fist knowledge. she doesn't do sequels um we i'm excited for this this is one because have you ever had a bad boss if you ever had when i used to i used to my first ever job was um glass cleaner glass collector at this local pub and then we got a new boss and she came in and she went just so you know alan I'm a bitch and this cat's got claws like that and I just used I was there just next to the machine cleaning the glass and I'm like that's nice dear I don't know I think she was aiming at the wrong people I think you need to tell the people well it's like she's practiced that in the mirror and I'm going to come in just so you know I'm a bitch yeah people try and make their mark yeah and I'm like oh okay and I think I think she must have thought I was an alpha male or something because I was like oh I just saw Whatever you do, you love.

16:52Well, I used to work at a place called Pleasure Island.

17:00And it was a theme park in Cleethorpes. No. Genuinely, I'm not making this up as I go along. It was a big theme park in Cleethorpes. So they put me on the hyperblaster. Sorry. They put me on the frog hopper. What's it called? The finger blaster? No, that's the hyperblaster. So they put me on the frog hopper at kids' ride. I was fuming. Is that because of your height? No, thank you. The kids could get on, but I couldn't. No, do you know what was funny? The frog hopper, all kids, but in the middle, an adult would sit in the middle. So there's a seat for an adult and it just used to go up and down.

17:38Anyway, I had the worst boss ever. He was so awful. And towards the end, that's before I got the job at Tesco. So then I got the job at Tesco. and I said, bye bye, Pleasure Island, see you later. So I got taken into this room to be disciplined over something so stupid because I put my foot on the ride when I wasn't meant to. You put your foot on the frog hopper when you weren't meant to. Exactly. Oh my God. I know. So they take me in, they do this thing and I did this big speech. I said, you know what? I'm done with Pleasure Island. I'm out of here. Oh my God. I did this rousing speech. Mic drop.

18:16Yeah, mic drop. I said, I will never want to see you people again. I walked out, okay? It must have been about 17 at the time. I walked out. Five minutes later, I realized I'd left the padlock on my locker that you had to buy. So I had to knock back on the door and I had to say, excuse me, sorry. I've left my padlock and it was my dance. So I had to give him... So you went back to Pleasure Island. I went back to Pleasure Island. And I said, hi, sorry, I know I've just stormed out. I need my padlock. So it was quite embarrassing. Yeah, but yeah, that's Pleasure Island. And it's closed down now.

18:56And Tesco is still going. Cheers. Displeasure Island. Yeah, good one, Alan. Bottoms up.

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21:08Joining us now is a lady who loves a glass of wine, but didn't like the hangovers. No, so she invented her own wine. Good for her, girl. It's Gabby Lamb. Gabby, I am super excited for this because, and we're going to get on to your wine later on, but we're going to talk about low alcohol or what they call now mid-strength. Because that's a trending thing now, isn't it? People are talking about mid-strength. Yeah. absolutely and I've seen a lot of comments online from the podcast and whatnot we talk about wine we're also you know branching into spirits and things like that and there is a lot of chat where it's like oh I don't really drink a lot or I like to have a drink here and there and mid-strength is almost like the meeting in the middle people who don't want to go teetotal but also don't want to go like full-on for it and so I'm obsessed with this already now I should stress that this isn't your brand or anything like that but you're you're in the kind of mid-strength world aren't you I am yeah and mid-strength is definitely it's having a movement at the mid-strength movement which is really exciting um and it's because people's behaviors have changed people aren't drinking as much um and when they do drink they want really high quality drinks and this is where mid-strength really works because it hits both those um points you can enjoy a really delicious full flavour drink just with less alcohol and less calories really importantly yes yeah that's true and also like because I always find like sometimes in the week okay I might get home and I might fancy a gin and tonic alright and then afterwards I'll be like maybe I'll have another or I'll have another and then I wake up I don't necessarily in a skip no I don't necessarily have a hangover but I feel maybe a bit like a little bit more tired so this mid strength is where you still kind of, you know, hit that mark that you want to hit, but you're not necessarily waking up with a bit like, oh, I had three full drinks last night.

23:12Yeah, exactly. And you can have, you can enjoy your evening, not worry about, you know, am I drinking too much? Should I have this second glass? And then you can still wake up, go to your Pilates, whatever in the morning, deal with your screaming kids, whatever it might be. Please, love, work the room. You're describing our life. I was going to say, You can read the room more, like. Read the room. And not feel connected to the bed. So tell me, what's your worst hangover? What inspired you? Have you ever been sick in a bin? How did you know? Sick in a bin? I love going to Ibiza. That's my thing.

23:45Oh, yeah. You're a party girl. Well, not so much now. I've got three young kids. Right. But I used to love going out, socialising, drinking, but you can't do it anymore. It's the hangovers. I struggle with them now. I used to be able to get out of bed. I can't do it anymore. No, no. Well, what I've just poured you here is, it's from a company called Quarter Proof, all right? And this is a London dry gin. So when we say mid-strength, because I've, I used to have quite a lot of, I think it was Clean Co, is it? The Spencer Matthews one. Yes, that's doing me. Yeah, it was, yeah. And sometimes when I wanted the idea of a drink, but didn't necessarily want to, you know, again, have three.

24:34Because I do think, I don't know if you agree with this, I do sometimes think the idea of a drink is better than the actual drink itself. As in like, you know, when people, the one person's not drinking, that's why something like no seco is good or something like that. Because you don't want to be the one with a little glass of water being like, you want to still feel slightly included or still kind of mark it as a celebration. when we say mid-strength is it because so 15 % alcohol this is saying is it because generally is that half so mid-strength generally we say is half the alcohol of the full strength alternative okay and um mid-strength is usually half the calories as well of its full strength alternative because alcohol is calorific so it's basically like you are meeting in the middle with that That is delish.

25:25Yeah, it's really delicious. So this is 15 % ABV. So most gins, you know, can range up to 35, 40. Have you ever had Tanqueray Export? Not for me. What is your... Black to hell. We know you like a wine, but what would your spirit of choice be? Oh, this is for me. Gin and tonic all the way. Yeah, love it. And the great thing with this is it's a London dry gin. so it's very juniper-forward, you're getting all the citrus punch and saving on calories and alcohol. And also we've got here, we've got some beers as well, lager here, which is 2.1 % ABV. So again... Oh, let's have a go. I do like a lager.

26:10You do? I do. No, Simone coughed. They weren't laughing. They choked with shock that you like a lager. Do you want a glass? Do you want a pale ale? You have a pale ale? Yeah, alright then. What do you want? What have we got? We've got pale here. We've got amber. Do you like amber? Yeah. I've not tasted that. I love this pale. You know that one you were saying, Spencer Matthews, clear go, isn't it funny, the psychology of alcohol? I remember having one of those and I started slurring because your brain thinks it is, isn't it? I was like, it is. Zero alcohol. If someone served me this. Isn't that weird?