Graham Norton Brings His Own Wine, Edinburgh Fringe + A Eurovision Bottle Battle

12:17Alan Carr:I remember one act. They'd sang Britney Hit Me One More Time with like this massive chicken. And then it was for the gong show. He got gonged off, but they invited the chicken back for next week.

12:29But you have, have you just become the patron of Edinburgh Festival? I have. Someone's doing research around here. And it's not you. I know, a bad one of us has.

12:40Alan Carr:I've got an earpiece. There's someone outside. You're researching the wine. His name is Gray. It's Gray Ann. You've met him before. So you just became the patron of Edinburgh Festival. So you've come from an ambassador.

12:54Graham Norton:And basically that happened because, you know, when I was starting out, that was where I started. I was at the festival. I did it for, I don't know, eight years in a row. And then when I got out of Dodge, when I, you know, I was nominated for a Perrier, which is what it was called back in the day. And I just thought, well, I will never do better than this. So I must never return. And then by then I was getting little bits of radio work, a little bit of telework. And so I just never went back. I never went back. And then about 10 years ago, a friend of mine was doing a show up there and I went up for the weekend to see him and I told him, I'll see some other shows.

13:35Graham Norton:And I just fell in love with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like as a punter, it's so great. Yeah. Because I always associate it with kind of like a trauma. Oh, and then the money at the end and getting the bill. Yeah, I know. The fucking bill?

13:48Alan Carr:Like you can't make money in Edward. No, no, no. People claim they do. No, no way. The last one where I did well, I mean, I sold out every night and did two extra. I still lost three grand. Wow. Three grand. How do you do that? But then, because I see you on Instagram and you go to some rogue shit up there. Oh, yeah, no, no. That's the point. You don't go to the big hitters. You go, because I follow you on Instagram and you're like, la, la, la, la, la. And I'm like, wow, you have a deep dive into the...

14:14Graham Norton:We do, we do. Me and my husband, we are quite organised. We get the programme and he goes through it and I go through it. Itinerary. And then we see what can we see in the three or four days when we're there. But I think the joy about it is you book all those tickets and then actually if you're having a lovely lunch and you kind of think, oh, copy art, see, you know, someone, you know, juggling dead dogs or something. As the ambassador, good to hear that. If I'm having a lovely lunch, fuck you.

14:41Alan Carr:The ambassador of the stage for the ticket.

14:44Graham Norton:I'm having my lunch in Edinburgh. What more do you want from me? I was very near those shows Imagine on the post now I walked past I heard it was good The starter was delicious Graham Norton Would you ever go back not as a punter? Well weirdly this year myself and my good friend Maria because we also have a podcast I was going to talk about that because everyone has a podcast we're doing a live show

15:14Alan Carr:Well actually me and Lee have booked tickets but we've also booked a lovely lunch

15:20Graham Norton:so we might be there we might not can I just say that reflects on the lunch more than my show

15:31Alan Carr:we'll be there with bells on we should talk about that wanging on with Graham and Maria yes and so is this a premise I was reading is this a premise from a Radio 2 show you did together

15:40Graham Norton:Grill Graham I mean basically I years ago I was kind of the agony uncle for the Saturday Telegraph it seems unlikely now but i was and god and uh so and i love doing it i love doing it and then when i got the gig on radio too i thought oh there's a way to do that and i thought make it a bit more radio i'll get someone else in to read the letters and maria's got a fabulous voice you know she was the voice over for your trash oh my god oh her voice yeah trash yeah she was the voice over that and uh So she reads the letters, then we discuss it in a kind of brutal way. You don't hold back. And then people, you know, they would text in.

16:22Graham Norton:And so we did there for 10 years, Virgin for three. I stopped Virgin. And then Maria kept going, oh, people keep asking me how we're going to do a podcast. I was like, no one wants the podcast. But eventually, all right, we'll do it. And if no one listens to it, we'll stop immediately. And it turns out she was right. The people weren't lying to her. So it seems quite popular. I mean, as you're sitting in an empty theatre in Edinburgh. Never. Turns out it wasn't that popular. Brilliant. We'll see, we'll see. So new episodes of Wanging On are every Monday, right? Every Monday, yeah. I mean, Maria was meant to be coming, wasn't she?

17:00I know. She chose to go to Seville. She's dead to us. Wow.

17:06Graham Norton:No, she did actually say that she's sorry she's not here. Oh, liar. Yeah. She lives in Hastings. Before we go on to the wine as well, the neighbourhood. The neighbourhood. I do seem to be, I seem to be busy for some reason. How do you find the time? Well, the neighbourhood I did like this time last year. I have to say, I saw the trailer. I think it looks really good because it's that cross between. I think there's one thing in the UK, isn't it? We are so nosy with neighbours. Like, what's a good... So explain the premise. Like, they are all in the neighbourhood, but then they go back, they live there as well is that right oh yeah no i mean so it's super immersive you know it's it's they live there like uh it's a pre-existing little village up in derbyshire and we get six households now some of them are actual families you know mom dad kids some of them are kind of blended modern families where you know people met later in life with kids um there's one that's like three generations there's a granny and a grandson um and then some of them are just housemates or siblings that kind of thing and they all move in they're there 24 7 they're filmed 24 7 and then we give them these kind of big challenges and the challenges are all based on really kind of suburban things like you know building a garden shed or uh there's a big game with like thousands and thousands and thousands of garden gnomes uh there's a seven meter washing nine and stuff but it's and and those are kind of visually fun and they get to play the games uh but it's the behind closed door stuff yeah i do you get so do you the other cameras there and you they're slagging each other off they really do like but but they slag the other house off but they also kind of slag each other off like once they shut the door they go why did you say that yeah why did you do that all of that there's and what's interesting is they kind of because you have to be popular to do well because the prize is a quarter of a million so you have to you have to kind of be popular to not be voted out but you also have to be smart and a bit conniving maybe well I felt the conniving people didn't do so well right if you came into it with strategy people smelt a rat yes whereas actually if you were just a nice neighbour yeah just a problem like you know how are you we're going to do our best like me and the traitors yes of course did you know you did that

19:34Alan Carr:Did you know he was? I hadn't heard. It's a show. I don't know. Still milking it. Still milking it. Well, no. Soon there'll be another celebrity trailer. I know. Graham.

19:45Graham Norton:Do you think he's ready to let it go? No. I am not. No. He was on the chat show talking about it. Oh, all anyone wants to talk to me about it. I'm so tired of it. And then we went backstage. He was wearing the green coat, carrying a lantern.

20:00Alan Carr:Do you believe Kate Winslet had never seen Traitors? She went, tell me about the process. I mean, I'm like this typical man. Don't linger on the Traitors. Well, I was like a rat up a drain. Kate! A rat up a turret. I was walking around Kate Winslet. I know, I'm one of those ones. It was amazing to you. It was.

20:24Graham Norton:And I feel like they have to do something even more with that image of you in the thing. because why was that so funny? Because it was just your face, which, you know... I think you've answered it. I'm not sitting here looking at it going... Yeah, exactly.

20:40Alan Carr:There was something about that. Well, yeah, because I did some extra film in BBC, said, look, for the civilian one, the North civilian one, that's what Liz Early told people to do. For the normal one, people who aren't celebrities, they said, oh, would you do... People who live without celebrity in their lives. Yeah, with some sad people. I, yeah, they said, oh, could you just wear the cloak and pop it up and do the thing. And then the director went, can you do the face? What? This is my face! Do the face! You must have been asked. You must have been asked. I don't think I was. Oh. I don't think I was.

21:13Graham Norton:And also, here's my thing. No, I think, the thing is, I think, and tell me if I'm wrong, I think a lot of people would have said yes and I would have said yes to the round table. That looks fabulous. I'd love to do the round table. I don't want to carry shit up a hill. No, no, yeah, yeah. I don't want to splash around in a fucking rock. So for that reason, I'm out. Have you ever done Who Do You Think You Are? Yes.

21:42Alan Carr:That, when you have a manuscript or document, Alan, just run your finger along it. People think I can't read. Graham Carr. Who reads like that? Graham Carr was... I mean, Alan, would you wear those glasses for a laugh? Did you cry?

22:03Graham Norton:I didn't cry. Did you cry? Did they try to make you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They said to me, at one stage, they kind of sat me down, they were doing a little bit of the interview, and they went, Graham, a lot of people find this process moving. And I was like, okay, but what bit would you have cried at? What did you get? Did you get any? Nothing that was going to make me cry. But then what was weird was, the very next day, we were in Leeds. You cried then? Well He arrived He arrived at Leeds You can only get to Leeds from Dublin by Ryanair Tears Horrid Horrid Mascara There was no ice Hi, I'm Graham Norton And I'm Maria McEarlane And we're back to dish out our average advice and so-so solutions to your everyday dilemmas in a brand new podcast called Wanging On with Graham and Maria.

22:57Alan Carr:Dear Graham and Maria, I've been happily married for 30 years, but my wife has just started to smell. Is she dead? Who's going to tell him? We're still not experts.

23:11Graham Norton:On anything, really, but we are here to help.

23:13Alan Carr:We're getting into mafia territory and you may well be whacked. I know more about mafia territory than I do about office politics.

23:20Graham Norton:That's true, listeners. And there'll be plenty of opportunity for you to get involved in the show too.

23:24Alan Carr:Yes, we'd love you to send in your dilemmas and your little nuggets of wisdom. Nuggets. Nuggets. Hopefully their respective pots are growing monthly. Because she's put it into a bond to get a higher interest. I don't know. Oh, it's good to be back, isn't it?

23:42Graham Norton:It is good to be back. I want to say Mary. No. Gary? Close enough. Look out for Wanging On with Graham and Maria wherever you get your podcasts. Marie is, it is Marie. Yes, yes, with an A. It's in the title. Well, I think we're going to move on to the wine. We've got some wine dilemmas. Is this a wine-based show? Yeah. You grimaced, though. When I said wine expert, what would you class yourself as? I'm a wine enthusiast. Will you say that as well? But you're a little bit further ahead of us. You've got your own wine. So hopefully you can teach us something. There will be a range of bottoms-up wine within seconds.

24:22Graham Norton:Someone is stomping the grapes as we speak.

24:25Alan Carr:No, but listen, obviously you won BAFTAs, you won everything, you've won awards for your wine. What is the most? Is it BAFTA or is it wine? BAFTA. Okay. Yeah. I thought we were going to get something like, oh, I never thought you'd say that, but you said exactly what I thought you'd say.

24:42Graham Norton:Yeah, great. You know, cats, BAFTA's for me. Yeah. It's for me. Am I right? It's for me, Rose. It's for me, Rose. Am I right in saying that? Didn't they ship some grapes? Ship? Didn't they ship some grapes for you to crush on the set of your show? You say ship. They didn't. The guy, because basically the guys who make this wine, Tim and Rob. Because it is in vivo, is it? In vivo. They're from New Zealand. And Tim and Rob are just, I love them. They're great. and they started this label kind of on their credit cards and I must have been doing some press for the show with the New Zealand paper and you know I had nothing to say they always got a what New Zealand celebrities would you like to have on the show and like could you help me a little happen Kim any answer not even them they're Australians that's what I mean it is hard it's really hard so for something to say I went oh, I do love New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc.

25:48Graham Norton:Well, these guys read that. They said, oh, would you like us to give some wine to the green room? And of course, you know, it cost them very little to give us wine, but it meant that back in New Zealand, they were able to say, you know, as drunk by Gwyneth Paltrow or whatever. So it was great press for them. And I just thought, oh, they're smart guys. And then when they asked me about doing my own label, I just thought, well, you know, I like the cut of their jib. Let's give it a whirl. and it's kind of taken off and now we've been doing it for years. And you also do gin as well. Yeah, the gin and the vodka, they're made in Ireland at Skibbereen.

26:22Graham Norton:So that's kind of a nice connection to home. That's lovely. But I think a lot of people will think with some wines, celebrity wines, like you're saying with the tequila and things, they just, but you're quite hands-on with it, aren't you? We do a blending every year. Yeah. So the nice thing about gin and vodka is once you've signed it off, oh, that's it. You never have to do it again. whereas every year and as you were saying earlier you know that it you forget that it is agriculture yeah and it's so when you're there in new zealand and you meet the people who are growing the the vines and picking the grapes it's suddenly so real and you realize my god these people live and breed this yeah and they sit there looking at the weather going oh no like the It's raining.

27:09Graham Norton:And it is absolutely farming and it's so reliant on it. So every year the harvest is different. You know, the taste is different. The quality of the wine is different. And what we do is we get, they normally bring about six different samples from different vineyards. And then we do this blending, which it's so different for like wine tasting. We've all done that where you've got to go, oh, that's nice. This is you taste all six and you kind of go, well, I like that element of this one, I like that element of that one, you know, the nose, the body, the office, whatever. And then you start combining them.

27:45Graham Norton:And it's amazing. If you ever get the chance to do it, do it. Because it's so kind of chemical. And the tiniest little bit will go change the whole glass. It's crazy. Science, science. Yeah, it is science. Science, science, Alan. Science, you've got glasses. He knows what he's talking about. Yeah. So, Graham, every week, well, not every week, but most weeks, we do dilemmas. Sometimes. Sometimes. If we're sober enough. Yeah. If we're capable of reading from a card. We all do a dilemma.

28:20Alan Carr:Is he going to stay for the dilemmas?

28:22Graham Norton:I am. Woo-hoo! Bottoms up. Bottoms up.

28:29Alan Carr:We've all been there. We're heading to a party and you're staring at all the shelves in the wine shop. What am I going to buy? I've got a party to go to. Well, fear no more, because me, Lee and Graham are here to help. Aren't we, Lee? We are indeed. And it is not just a party they're going to. It is a Eurovision party. Woo! So. Correct noise. Correct noise.

28:56Graham Norton:That's the official Eurovision party. Hi, Lee, Alan and Graham. I'm hosting a Eurovision party. And to balance out the camp, I've decided we are doing a winovision. Like it. We've pulled names out of a hat. I can only end badly. It's four hours long. We've pulled names out of a hat and ended up with our three finalists. Countries, Romania, Moldova and Belgium. I haven't got a clue where to... That's unfortunate. Of all the countries. I live in Italy, Spain, France and Chip to do very well this year. I haven't got a clue where to start with wines from these countries. Can you help me pick a winner?

29:42Loving bottoms up. It's always deux points from me every week. Marcus in Romford. So, I... I think Marcus might be homosexual.

29:52Alan Carr:I'm just saying. I'm just saying. No one gay lives in Romford.

30:00Right, so what we are going to do is, in honour of Eurovision, we've got three wines here, respectively, from Moldova, Belgium and Romania, and we are all going to give them a maximum of 12 points. Okay. So, shall we begin? Shall we begin? We're going to go for, this is a box wine.

30:21Alan Carr:Now, would Graham Norton ever go for a box wine? Would you produce a box wine?

30:26Graham Norton:Well, here's the thing. Because of, you know, the environment, I think there was a slight, there was a push, wasn't there, to go for bags of wine, boxes of wine. And it is really handy to have in your fridge. Gotcha. Yeah, you just go up. And also in your bum bag. But I feel like this is a bit like a caravan holiday. It just feels like... It's a bit like... I just feel like I'm camping. But this is nice. If you're going to have a box, it's a nice package. Oh, I know. Lovely. All right, so... Where's this from? This is... That's a good question. What is this representing? This is Moldova. Really?

31:01Yes, Moldova, I believe. What's it say here? I can't see on the back of the box. Made in China. I didn't know Taiwan was in the Eurovision. Yeah, it's a wine of Moldova. Here we go. They make Pinot Pinot. Pinot Pinot, it's called. Oh, it's a Pinot Grigio. A sip so good, we named it twice. Easy drinking and delicious with fresh floral aromas. Touches of peach and a refreshing citrus. I don't think I'd ever had a Moldovan. So apparently this is surprisingly smooth, easy, uncomplicated, like the Eurovision entry. You get strawberries. And that everyone secretly enjoys, but no one writes home about.

31:38If this were a Eurovision song, it would be the safe, crowd-pleasing ballad. You may not love it, but you cannot deny it deserves its spot on the stage. Now, what are we thinking about this?

31:48Graham Norton:Actually, it's surprisingly, it's nicer than I thought it was going to be. Yeah.

31:52Alan Carr:If you were going to give me a Moldovan wine, I would have, you know. Do you know what? It's a bit like when you're watching Eurovision and that act come on and you go, God, I'm going to hate this. And then it's an earworm. And you're like... I was wrong to judge. Yeah, I feel it's a bit dead in the finish.

32:08Graham Norton:Yes, it does. It tails off. A bit like Eurovision.

32:14Graham Norton:Hour four.

32:19Graham Norton:This was fun four hours ago. It smelled like a good idea at the start. No, but it's not.

32:27Alan Carr:It's nice, but like you said, it just needs a... Yeah, it doesn't stick with you, does it?

32:32Graham Norton:No. But it's quite a nice nose, and then it's nice at the mouth, but it's just, it's somehow... But coming from a box of wine, I think that's good. I'm going to go straight down the middle with that. I'm going to go for a six. Oh. Do you think that's a bit harsh? I would, might go a bit higher. It's out of 12, so I would go eight. Okay. I think I'm going to go for eight.

32:52Alan Carr:I'm actually enjoying it. All right, eight, eight, and six. So this is 18 pounds around. How many liters do you get? 2.25. Sounds good. So that's about eight pound a liter. And that's nice wine. That's nice. That, I think, because I do think, you know,

33:09Graham Norton:wine needs to be delicious, but it also needs to be affordable. Of course. Particularly at a Eurovision party. So, yeah. I'm going to give an extra point for that. I'm going to change my point to seven. All right, so we are now going to move on to Belgium. We're moving on to Belgium and it is, I hope I say this right, Cuiq Boon Cherry Lambet. Is this a beer? No, this is a ruby red, apparently. It's like a, it's like a almost, oh no, it is a beer. Gosh. A beer? I'm going to be sick. This is a beer. Oh, I thought they were all wine. Should we have the beer at the end? Yeah, you're right. Should we finish on the beer?

33:49Yeah. I love that Graham is our guest, but he knows way more than half of us.

33:54Alan Carr:He's also producing. No, Graham, you're our guest. We'll have a beer now.

34:00Graham Norton:Shit! Get him a shot. I said I didn't want the beer now. Oh, God, this is a beer.

34:10Alan Carr:Shush, people from Clicbun might be watching. Do you know what? Let's start with the Romanian wine then. Now, this is called Sorkova. It's a golden straw in colour, elegant, like it wandered straight out of a folk festival, apparently. So, there we go. That's fine. That's fine. Sorry, thank you. Wine tasting. Save some room for your beer.

34:40So, like I said, this is Romanian wine. And so, yeah, you're very good there. So, do you do this? I like the smell of that. That's nice. And you swirled it there, didn't you? Very good, yeah. That's what you're meant to do. Yeah.

34:51Graham Norton:I mean, it's fun. It's fun. I mean, I don't know what that does.

34:55Alan Carr:This is your revision for me. Fun, fruity. So on the nose there.

35:01Graham Norton:What are you getting on the nose? Anything? Actually, it reminds me of like a New Zealand Top and Blanc. Yeah, yeah. But then, it's much softer than I thought in the mouth. It's kind of a full fruit. I thought it'd be clacky, but it's not. Yeah, well, it's saying we've got pears, honey. Oh, that's really nice. It does have pears, doesn't it? Pears, honey, and subtle for floral, sophisticated with a cheeky hint of something unexpected. Medium body, it says, balanced. I never want something unexpected in a while.

35:32Alan Carr:Iron filings. It says here, it has bleach. It says here, it's not obvious, but if you pay attention, it waltzes across your tongue. That's not obvious. They're not wrong.

35:44Graham Norton:Now, here's the thing. I think this is lovely I couldn't drink a lot of it Okay Get out of here Why? Out No, because I feel like It's quite filling You know what I mean? It's like It's quite a full flavour Yeah So it is actually delicious In this As a tasting Yeah Like if I was going out for dinner And somebody would like I'd like Oh, I was hoping to get drunk tonight But I can't Yeah, I know what you mean I can't drink a lot of that Yeah I know what you mean You'd have one And then maybe after your second You'd be a bit like I'm not sure I can carry on on this one. It's like bags of crisps. The first one, delicious.

36:19Graham Norton:Yes. The second one, why did I have this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're fighting. I'm going to have a little tippy-top tops. Wow. Well, this, I don't know if this will sway your voting. Oh, my God, your glass is empty. No, no, no, I'm fine. Please, have some. We like to drink with Graham. Please. So this is£9. £9 for that bottle. It's great. That's amazing. Can I just say, if you brought that to someone's house... You would think it was way more than£9, the way it looks. Whoever does label design in Romania has done such a great job. That looks beautiful. I buy wine because of the font.

36:56Alan Carr:Oh, yeah. It takes a price out. Oh, I would do this. How long do you take to come up with your label?

37:03Graham Norton:I don't. I mean, that's people in New Zealand. Oh, OK. But you must go yes or no. Yeah, but it would have to be... It's like, you know, it's about to be Comic Sans for you to go, no thanks.

37:14Alan Carr:I just feel like... You know, and it dingbats. Or was it windings? Dingbats? What's the one that's that weird? Wingdings. Yeah, webdings or something. Webdings.

37:25Graham Norton:Okay.

37:28Graham Norton:I wonder how long it takes to get an Uber back.

37:33Alan Carr:You haven't had any of your creek boot yet. Oh, I know. We're saving that for last. I'm going to give this du spa. Oh, really? Oh, maybe. I'm being, that's the trouble with me with wine. I get too overexcited. Maybe 10. This, this spa. Which was, is that this? That one's that one. Yeah, yeah, this is the Romanian. Sorry. Oh, you're going to, oh, you're going to compare. So you gave, you gave eight to that original wine. You gave eight to the original. So this is definitely nicer. It is, isn't it? I'm going 10. 10 for that. So you're going 10. I went 7 for the original, so I'm actually going to go 9.

38:14I'm going to go 9 for that. Just to be contrary. Okay. No. Okay. Now, can I just say, do any of us like beer? No, I'm not...

38:23Alan Carr:It makes me gassy and I like it, yes. I'm not a massive fan of beer, but I'm certainly not a fan of red beer. Yeah.

38:30Graham Norton:So I think we've probably found a winner, but let's keep going. Oh, yes. The jeopardy is still there. I know. This has to be really bloody good. The stakes are so high. Well, you never know what might happen. The entire population of Belgium is fighting their names right now. Can you imagine the Creek Boon factory like this? No. And also, can I just say, apparently this is£3.50, but it is a beer.

38:56Alan Carr:I love it already. But it's quite a small bottle. Yeah, it's a small bottle, it's a bottle of beer, so£3.50 for a beer, not too bad. Okay, so here we go. I'm a Eurovision, remember? I'm lots of fun. La, la, la, la. Yeah. And this is Belgium, a ruby red and certain to catch your attention like a last minute keychain. She's tweaked and she's fizzy and she's fun, like a pop number with a dance break and a glitter cannon. This one is sure to bring controversy to the jewelry room.

39:26Graham Norton:This will say the sort of thing that will stain your colon. And they'll discover when they do the postmortem. It says it's camp. Why is it so red? Well, apparently, in 2026, he went on a podcast. He had some Belgian beer.

39:42Alan Carr:I'm not being grim, but you know when you go to the toilet sometimes after and you go, oh my God, I'm dying. That's what this is like.

39:51Graham Norton:Well, Alan, you're dying. Well, bums up. That should never come out of your body.

39:58Alan Carr:I hope this is amazing for Brookdun. So, cherry we're talking about. Oh, Cherry Lamb. I hate cherry.

40:05Graham Norton:I know, me, I... Do you not like cherry? Not as a flavour. I like cherries. Yeah. Whenever they put an artificial cherry flavouring in something, it's disgusting. It's time when they did cherry coke. So it says, glitter on everything performance that will either be loved or scorned. Could win the telly vote or could go straight to nil point. I think this isn't even getting to the grand final.

40:28Do you know what? I don't hate it.

40:31Graham Norton:I haven't tasted it yet. Are you nervous? It just, it smells, actually, it smells kind of toffee-ish. It smells like soft, it smells like a soft drink. It's making my tongue go like this and I can't smell it. So it's only 4%, that's probably why. That's why my body's rejecting it. It's so close to water.

40:54Alan Carr:So what are we thinking about? It's not, can I just say, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. No, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. For me, it's a five. For me, it's probably a four. I'm going to go four. No, I'm going to go five, actually.

41:07Graham Norton:I'm going to go two. Yeah. Just because it's not even... Like, I quite like a nice beer. Yeah, but it's not really a beer, is it? They've fucked around with it too much. Do you know what it's more like? Like, beer doesn't need to be red or cherry thing. It's like a schlur. It's like a schlur, isn't it? We'd like to thank our sponsors, Creek Boon, for providing... Two, okay.

41:30Alan Carr:Yeah, well, I think... So, we... It's not my favourite, but then I feel bad because they plunked it with two wines. Yeah, to be fair, I do think it is probably at a disadvantage.

41:41Graham Norton:It's probably nicer than Belgian wine. Oh, really? Is Belgian wine not? I don't know. But I mean, that's quite part of it.

41:47Alan Carr:So when you're doing Eurovision, what are you drinking? Are you drinking Graham Norton wine?

41:51Graham Norton:No, I'm drinking whatever I can lay my hands on because it's very hard. It's a long, old stretch. Well, here's the thing. So when Terry retired and I got the gig, he was really sweet and he rang me before I went off to Moscow, which was so nice of him. And the only bit of advice he gave me was don't have a drink before song nine. So I think Terry was quite fond of the Baileys. And he goes, I do wine if I can get it. Some years there's no drink to be had, no drink to be smuggled in, nothing. It's smuggled in. I love that Eurovision is smuggled in. Oh, no, no. Normally it's smuggled in because you can't really get it in.

42:37Graham Norton:But anyway, and his advice was very good, except that I feel like there are a lot more songs now. So song nine is quite early to be having a drink. So you do have to kind of go, because you know what it's like, you have a drink, you go, oh, delicious, I'll have some more. Yeah. And because it's a long live show, you can't you just can't so you have to just go license that is I can't have any more so you try to stay sober but then at the end because it finishes so late then you're like sniffing around the old you know comedy booze I need that wine left but there was an interesting thing I think you were saying this Alan that you read about Graham where you used to come on with a glass of wine I know you have a glass of wine on your show but when you did stand up you always used to come on almost like a we were talking about prop comedians earlier that was sure prop it was not prop no it was because and i don't know if either of you had this but when i started doing stand up or performing really like solo performing friends would come and they go oh you seemed a bit nervous and i could feel it i could feel like i was nervous and then one time i don't know why i was doing this i was doing an australian tourist commission gig uh all the good ones and uh and i was a surprise oh i was And they, so there was a kind of a party and I had to be someone at the party and then I got up and did my bit.

44:01Graham Norton:So I was at the party and I was standing there with my glass of Australian wine and I was sipping it. And because my, you know, I was in a nervous state, so I was kind of heightened, I could really feel the wine going through my body. And it just took the edge off. It didn't, I wasn't, I mean, literally, I had a couple of sips of wine. And it just took the edge off and it meant, and the gig went really well and I wasn't nervous and I go okay I'm gonna do this yeah and I and I did think to myself right if it ever gets to where uh I'm actually uh I'd have a case of wine backstage or you know on my second glass before I go on then I'll knock it on the head yeah because I am and so that's why I still have that glass of wine on on set with me and then now I don't get nervous I like having a glass of wine.

44:49Graham Norton:And again, I have a huge glass of wine with lots of ice in it, and I sip it. I rather drink it. But I'm... And a brand. Also, I think it communicates to an audience that you're having a nice time. Yeah, yeah. Now, the theatre is different. Yes. When I did a show in the West End... La Cage à Folle. La Cage à Folle. And everyone was sick. It was during... It was between Christmas and New Year, and I was only supposed to be rehearsing, and everyone was off sick. The main guy, the understudy, the understudies were played. No one. And those shows are all fully booked. So they said, Graham, would you go on tonight, even though you haven't really rehearsed with the band or anything?

45:30Graham Norton:That's terrifying. And I went, yeah, yeah, I'll do that. And so I...

45:36Alan Carr:Did you get like Edinburgh Festival kind of when you were there to do it? Well, because that's a brave thing to do.

45:42Graham Norton:Well, it was, the thing was, I could tell what they were going to ask. And I did feel ready. Like I knew I knew it. Yeah. And I thought, yeah, let's do this. You want to rip the band-aid off. And also, it's a bit kind of Hollywood movie. Like, let's put the show on right here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said I haven't learned the lies.

46:01Alan Carr:Oh, I. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

46:05Graham Norton:I can party tap dance. So they said to me, oh, would you go on? I said yes. And then they made such a fuss to me, they were really nice to me, because, you know, even after I'd done it, the director came up to me and went, Graham, if you knew anything, you'd have said no. Because, you know, it was a very foolish thing to have agreed to, because it was a paying audience, and I hadn't really got... Anyway, but before the show, they were kind of coming to the dressing room, and they're going, anything else? Anything else we can get you, Graham? And I went, ooh, a glass of white wine. Yeah, from the faces, I could tell, oh, this is not the theatre way.

46:49Tonight's production of Le Casio Fall has been cancelled.

46:53Graham Norton:Well, no, bless them, that night they did get me one. Well, you were doing them a favour. Because I was doing them a favour. But I then realised, okay, you're not supposed to. So I never did again. So you've had that, Le Casio Fall, West End, chat show presenting is there anything that you haven't done yet where you're like OnlyFans When I get home tonight I'm setting it up

47:18Alan Carr:How do you know he doesn't do that already Well, me and Lee are having a very long lunch

47:26Alan Carr:We'll get to that Surely you've got to a point where you're like what? Is there anything you fancy?

47:34Graham Norton:Well, here's the thing I'm 63 and I've done so much more than I ever thought I would. Yeah. So, you know, it's that weird thing where you've kind of, you've overshot your dreams and expectations by such a huge amount. So, no. No. You know. Let's see what happens. Yeah, see what happens. That's an amazing place to be in though, isn't it? Yeah. You know, I haven't been cancelled yet. There's still that to live for. Well, wait till you see this back. When does this go out? I would get a lot done before this goes out. So, with 29 points, it was an obvious one, the Romanian wine, Sarkova, Romania. It was lovely.

48:14We've got, in second place, the Pinot Pinot with 23 points, not too far off. And then... Come on, Creek Boone. I know you've got it. Come on, you can do this.

48:25Alan Carr:Has it won? Drum roll, everyone. Please, is it? With 11 points. Oh, fuck. Never. it's the creep boon. But whether you enjoy, well, you will be enjoying Eurovision, have fun, but do drink responsibly and wait for song nine. So you can catch The Neighbourhood on ITVX, wanging on with Graham and Maria episodes every Monday. People are just shouting, Graham, go home. Stop working.

48:53Graham Norton:Shut up. Stop doing things. Thank you so much. And your wine is so delicious. That's so good to be with you. I've had such a nice time. thank you very much thank you thank you we really appreciate it

49:03Alan Carr:Graham Norton everyone if you've enjoyed this episode of Bottoms Up don't forget to follow us at Bottoms Up Show on YouTube Spotify Apple wherever you get your podcasts absolutely don't fall behind and as always we want to hear from you please contact us bottomsup at listen.co.uk or you can slide into RDMs with your dilemmas your quandaries your queries and your questions in general at Bottoms Up Show on socials. Please also remember, do leave us a little five-star review if you haven't already. And don't forget to drink responsibly. Bottoms Up is a listen production. Thank you so much. Bottoms Up!

49:45Alan Carr:Bottoms Up!